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1
00:00:07,375 --> 00:00:10,220
♪ There is more to life
Than what you're living ♪
2
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,555
♪ So take a chance
And face the wind ♪
3
00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:15,892
♪ An open road And
a road that's hidden ♪
4
00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:18,862
♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪
5
00:00:18,886 --> 00:00:21,731
♪ There were times ♪
6
00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:24,301
♪ I lost a dream or two ♪
7
00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:26,803
♪ Found the trail ♪
8
00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:30,340
♪ And at the end was you ♪
9
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:32,842
♪ There's a path we take
And a path not taken ♪
10
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,545
♪ The choice is up
to you My friend ♪
11
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:38,548
♪ Nights are long But
you might awaken ♪
12
00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:41,351
♪ To a brand-new
life A brand-new life ♪
13
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:46,878
♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪♪
14
00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:56,599
♪ Doo doo doo doo ♪
15
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:57,967
Okay, book busters,
16
00:00:57,991 --> 00:01:00,071
let's move it, let's
hit it. Let's do it!
17
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:01,871
You got everything?
18
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,507
Gym shorts? Check!
19
00:01:03,531 --> 00:01:04,508
Homework? Check!
20
00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:05,532
Science project?
21
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:08,512
Samantha?
22
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:10,280
Don't worry, Dad,
I've got everything.
23
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:11,814
School books, lunch
money, and homework.
24
00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:14,151
Check, check, check. Ice
skates for Marci's party?
25
00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:15,818
Oops, you got me.
26
00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:17,354
That's why I have this.
27
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:18,721
Tony, we'd better get going.
28
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,524
That film studio's all
the way over in Brooklyn.
29
00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,325
Your carriage awaits, madam,
but do you have everything?
30
00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:23,660
You bet I do.
31
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,662
I have the most important
new account in my career.
32
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,030
I have Lankershim Cosmetics,
33
00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:29,533
and I have the client
eating out of my hand.
34
00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:30,900
Do you have your portfolio?
35
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,891
I don't have that.
36
00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:38,442
Sweetheart, isn't that a
wonderful prehistoric...
37
00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:39,864
thing?
38
00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:43,246
Have a good day in school. Bye.
39
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,014
Well, I'm all ready.
40
00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:46,950
Okay, here's your
lunch money, buddy.
41
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,385
Remember, if you talk science,
42
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:50,753
keep that receipt. It's
a write-off, all right?
43
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:53,290
And I hope they really
like your little volcano.
44
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:54,424
Yeah, for show-and-tell,
45
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,548
he's gonna sacrifice
a Barbie doll.
46
00:01:58,385 --> 00:01:59,396
Give me a kiss.
47
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:00,597
All right, be good in school.
48
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:01,598
Okay, bye!
49
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:02,632
Hi! Hi, Mona!
50
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:03,733
Hi, short people.
51
00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:06,035
Mona? Mona, Mona...
52
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:07,670
No, I don't see you on my list.
53
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:10,740
No? Well... Now I'm on it.
54
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:13,310
Right next to "take out trash."
55
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:15,512
That's not "trash,"
that's "Trish,"
56
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:16,901
but you're close.
57
00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:24,087
Well, so today's
the big day, huh?
58
00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:27,056
Lights, camera... action!
59
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,126
Hello, Mother. You
can't go with me.
60
00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:31,060
Aw, Angela...
61
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:33,363
Do you think that
that's why I'm here?
62
00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:34,564
Why can't I go with you?
63
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:37,300
Because presidents
of advertising agencies
64
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:40,370
don't take their mommies
to work with them.
65
00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:42,539
Well, don't think of
me as your mommy.
66
00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:44,341
Think of me as a stockholder.
67
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:46,743
I just invested in
Lankershim Cosmetics.
68
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,411
Mother, how sweet.
69
00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:50,780
You have that much faith
in my deodorant campaign?
70
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:51,948
No.
71
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:54,217
Advertising campaigns
come and go,
72
00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:55,340
but sweat is forever.
73
00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:59,289
Come on, Angela. Let her go.
74
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:03,293
We won't get in the way.
75
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:04,861
We?
76
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:08,554
Yes. You won't even
know we're there.
77
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:23,513
Ooh, look at this, look at this.
78
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:24,781
A movie studio, huh?
79
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,616
I can feel the magic in the air.
80
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,318
Hey, look.
81
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:31,120
They make it look just
like a real bathroom.
82
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:33,056
It's clean, it's clean,
83
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,124
it's not very private,
but it's clean.
84
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:37,126
Now, Angela, don't
worry about a thing.
85
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:38,728
We're gonna stay
right out of the way
86
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,096
over here in the corner,
87
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,998
so go over there
and act important.
88
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,099
Make a decision.
89
00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:45,190
I already made one,
but you came anyway.
90
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,772
Uh, she's the
president, you know.
91
00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:51,874
You wouldn't have
a job without her.
92
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:54,277
I'm a lucky guy. Who
are these people?
93
00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:55,845
Herb, this is my
mother, Mona Robinson.
94
00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,647
Oh, your mother?
95
00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,349
Without you I
wouldn't have a job.
96
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:00,617
And my housekeeper,
Tony Micelli.
97
00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:02,285
Hey, how are you doing?
98
00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:03,842
Housekeeper?
99
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,191
You know, you could
call me the maid...
100
00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:10,393
but I wouldn't.
101
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:13,096
No, no, housekeeper's
my first choice.
102
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,800
How about those Jets, huh?
103
00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:19,402
Best behavior, you
two. This is the client.
104
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,304
Mr. Larson. Good morning.
105
00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:22,706
Hello, Angela.
106
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,874
Well, today's the day we
make a household word
107
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:28,311
out of Machismo Scented
Seven-Day Deodorant Shower Gel.
108
00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:30,647
I like the way you think.
109
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:32,815
And you must be
our Machismo Man.
110
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:34,417
Oh, no, no, no,
this is Tony Micelli.
111
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,419
He's... Perfect.
112
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,754
Thank you.
113
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,223
He's my housekeeper, Mr. Larson.
114
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:41,424
We have an actor,
Lance Wetherby.
115
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,959
He's in makeup.
116
00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:45,161
Go tell Wetherby to take
the curlers out of his hair
117
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:46,162
and go home.
118
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:48,398
This man has that Machismo look.
119
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:52,235
You bet he does.
120
00:04:52,259 --> 00:04:54,003
Who are you?
121
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:57,262
I'm his agent,
"Swifty" Robinson.
122
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:00,877
Smile, Tony.
123
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:03,045
I think you're about
to be discovered.
124
00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:04,247
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
125
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:06,249
You mean they want me
to be in the commercial?
126
00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:07,317
Yeah. Flex.
127
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:09,051
I'll work out the negotiations.
128
00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:11,254
We're almost ready to roll here.
129
00:05:11,278 --> 00:05:13,790
JJ, we've had a
little change here.
130
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:17,160
Tony Micelli is going to
be our Machismo Man.
131
00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:20,430
I am? I'm gonna be
the Machismo Man!
132
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:23,199
But Mr. Larson,
Tony is not an actor.
133
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:24,601
Aw, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
134
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:25,635
I was a camel
135
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:26,803
in my third-grade
Christmas play.
136
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:31,240
Vivian Lordasino
was the other hump.
137
00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:32,542
I'm sure you were great, bubele,
138
00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,177
but this is the big time, huh?
139
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:37,314
Uh... Listen, uh, JJ?
140
00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:38,481
Yeah?
141
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,450
Did Angela tell me
you did that commercial
142
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,919
on Youthful You fade cream?
143
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,087
Yeah, that won me a Clio award.
144
00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:48,090
Well, I'm sure if you can
work with dancing liver spots,
145
00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:49,881
you can work with Tony.
146
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,297
Work with him, JJ.
147
00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:56,098
Work with me, JJ!
148
00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:58,267
Okay, take your
shirt off, bubele.
149
00:05:58,291 --> 00:05:59,936
Just a minute.
Keep your shirt on.
150
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,438
Mr. Larson, are you sure?
151
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:05,942
Angela, I like an agency
that goes for the unexpected,
152
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,712
that's willing to take chances.
153
00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:11,948
Like I said, bubele,
take your shirt off.
154
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:15,418
Okay, Tony, babe, this is
just a rehearsal now, okay?
155
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:16,986
You're in the shower.
156
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,688
You're really feeling good.
157
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,412
You know you're not
gonna smell for a week.
158
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:23,593
You do your spiel
with the product,
159
00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:24,794
you get out, you towel off,
160
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,596
and then we're in
the arms of your lady.
161
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:28,319
What lady?
162
00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:32,524
And they pay you too?
163
00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,974
Ginger, honey.
164
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:41,277
Okay, now, you
come in, you see him...
165
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:47,650
he's wet, he's sexy...
he's really smelling good.
166
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:50,620
For a week.
167
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:53,222
I'll do the jokes, babe.
168
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:56,493
Now, you get one whiff
and you lose control.
169
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:58,995
Okay? Okay.
170
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:00,886
Here we go.
171
00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:05,635
That's great, that's
great, sweetheart.
172
00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:07,692
Nuzzle his ear, nuzzle his ear.
173
00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:13,610
Oh, you... you nuzzle great.
174
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:14,911
Yeah, well,
175
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,446
you move your
hand one more inch,
176
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:21,284
and they'll be calling
you Van Gogh.
177
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:23,986
That's great, that's great.
178
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:26,489
Now, Ginger, honey,
179
00:07:26,513 --> 00:07:28,024
now let's have your line.
180
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:30,427
I like it too.
181
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:35,131
Perfect! Okay, from the top.
182
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:36,155
Places. Here we go.
183
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:41,203
Here we go. Your robe.
184
00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:43,862
Attaboy. Here we go...
185
00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:49,612
All right. Let's see
some suds, Tony.
186
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:55,151
Hey! What the...
Now, Tone... Yeah?
187
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,252
Just act natural.
188
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:59,322
Do whatever it is
you do in the shower.
189
00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:00,990
Anything I do?
190
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,425
Yeah.
191
00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:12,068
Except sing. No singing.
192
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:14,270
You want a donut, Angela?
193
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:16,439
Don't talk to me.
194
00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:18,341
Well, that's gratitude for you.
195
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:20,543
I mean, I brought
you your new star.
196
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,846
You're gonna change your tune
197
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:25,448
when we're packing
for the Love Boat.
198
00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:28,017
Bon voyage, Mother.
199
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:31,020
Okay, just read what you
see on the cue cards, okay?
200
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,589
Okay.
201
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:35,279
Here we go.
Ready? And... Action.
202
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:44,433
Sure... You probably
shower every day,
203
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:47,436
but even if you didn't,
no one would know...
204
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:49,060
not if...
205
00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:00,383
not if you use new Machismo
206
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:03,419
Scented Seven-Day
Steeodorant Shower Gel.
207
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:04,787
That's protection.
208
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,789
Cut!
209
00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:07,924
Excuse me.
210
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:09,526
I have to go and call my broker
211
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:12,829
and dump some stock.
212
00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:14,230
Tony? Yeah?
213
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,265
What's this face...?
214
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,635
What is that? What?
Are you in pain?
215
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:20,102
Bathing suit a little too tight?
216
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,705
Okay. Let's try it again.
217
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,241
Loose... Natural.
218
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:26,242
Okay. Okay.
219
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,243
That's it.
220
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,244
Loose. I can do it.
221
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:29,612
Let's pick it up from there.
222
00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:31,235
Loose, man.
223
00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:40,122
So no matter how
hot... And sweaty I get,
224
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:43,225
I know I'm covered,
heh, with Mac...
225
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,994
With Machismo.
226
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:47,196
I like it, too.
227
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:50,066
Okay, cut.
228
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,500
That's lunch.
229
00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:56,505
Bernie? Get me out of
Lankershim Cosmetics.
230
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:59,208
I don't care what
E.F. Hutton says.
231
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:02,845
When Mona talks, you listen.
232
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,346
So, Angela, how was I?
233
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:05,548
Looser.
234
00:10:05,572 --> 00:10:07,149
Much looser...
235
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:10,787
Somehow I don't think
we captured your, uh...
236
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:14,323
quiet brilliance.
237
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:15,627
Quiet brilliance?
238
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:18,795
JJ. Yeah?
239
00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,496
Can I have a word with you?
240
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,386
I think I have an idea.
241
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:30,039
My man uses Machismo Scented
Seven-Day Deodorant Shower Gel,
242
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:33,542
so I know no matter
how hard he works
243
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:36,879
or no matter how hot
and sweaty he gets,
244
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:40,650
I know my man's
covered... with Machismo.
245
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:44,253
I like it too.
246
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:46,589
Okay, cut!
247
00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:47,690
That's perfect!
248
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:48,725
That's a wrap.
249
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,994
We'll do product
and stills tomorrow.
250
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:53,462
Beautiful.
251
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:58,034
Angela, if sex sells
soap, and we know it does,
252
00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,736
we're gonna clean up.
253
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,972
We're gonna get shot
in the fanny with nickels.
254
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:06,109
I can hardly wait.
255
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:07,476
Hello, Bernie?
256
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:12,314
Put everything I've got
into Lankershim Cosmetics.
257
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:15,351
Yeah. Buy, buy, buy.
258
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:16,741
Bye.
259
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,490
Oh, boy.
260
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,460
Dad, tell us about
the commercial!
261
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:26,562
All right, sit down, sit down.
262
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,164
Well, there's really
not much to tell.
263
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,966
All I had to do
was take a shower,
264
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:32,368
and I got plenty of practice
doing that in the minor leagues.
265
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:35,371
Oh, Tony, don't be modest.
266
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:37,306
Your dad was terrific.
267
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:42,511
I mean, when he lathered
up, I got goose flesh.
268
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,014
Well, you know, I did do
some pretty interesting things
269
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,237
with them bubbles, eh?
270
00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:50,853
Dad, what are you doing?
271
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,822
You look like you
need a flea collar.
272
00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:55,858
I need something,
man. I've got this itch.
273
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:58,294
Scratch over
there. Scratch lower.
274
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:02,965
You, higher. Higher,
higher. Higher! Scratch!
275
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:06,035
Tony, you've got
a terrible rash.
276
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,637
Look at this! I'm burning up.
277
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:11,440
Dad, what's wrong? Oh, my God.
278
00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:13,542
Tony, what if it's
from the Machismo?
279
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,012
You don't think... What else?
280
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:19,470
Boy, am I glad I wore
that little bathing suit.
281
00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:28,324
Here, is this good?
282
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:29,926
No, lower, lower, lower.
283
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:33,062
Hello! I'm home!
284
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:38,300
Uh, we're in the kitchen.
285
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,002
Hello, wonderful people!
286
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:41,804
I love my life.
287
00:12:41,828 --> 00:12:44,273
Have a nice day
at the office, dear?
288
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:45,742
Sublime.
289
00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:47,944
Tony, you were great.
290
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:50,268
I don't know what you've
got, but it's something.
291
00:12:52,538 --> 00:12:54,316
And I have a feeling
292
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:56,460
you haven't even
scratched the surface yet.
293
00:12:58,044 --> 00:13:00,823
Yeah, well, I'm glad it
worked out, Angela, but...
294
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:01,858
Worked out?
295
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:04,160
Machismo Man speak truth.
296
00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:07,196
We are finally in solid
with Lankershim Cosmetics!
297
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,732
Yeah, well, that's
good, because, uh...
298
00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:11,934
Ooh, ooh!
299
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:15,626
What is going...
What is going on here?
300
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:24,513
Man... Angela, you
may have noticed
301
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:26,015
that there's something
a little different
302
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:27,319
about Tony...
303
00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:31,654
Well, do you know
that expression
304
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:35,291
"into each life a
little rain must fall"?
305
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,026
Yeah?
306
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:40,997
Well, get out your galoshes.
We're talking monsoon here.
307
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:42,832
Angela, I've got a rash
308
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:44,466
all over my body, everywhere.
309
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,302
Look at this.
310
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,304
All over your body?
311
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,305
Well, except for
312
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:53,731
where the little
bathing suit was.
313
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:56,712
Angela! Tony!
314
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,614
My stars are here.
315
00:13:58,638 --> 00:13:59,849
Wait till you see the stuff
316
00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:01,284
we shot yesterday.
317
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:03,119
Sensational!
318
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:06,122
That's nice, but,
uh... Mr. Larson,
319
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:08,357
I have something to tell you
320
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,126
that's a little painful for me.
321
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,427
Painful for you? Ha.
322
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,329
Well, what's the problem?
323
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,798
Show him, Tony.
324
00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:17,967
Whoa... that's a bad rash.
325
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:21,037
Yeah, and he's got
it all over his body...
326
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,505
not that I've seen it.
327
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,474
You see, the thing is, uh...
328
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,243
I got this from that
Machismo gunk.
329
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:28,945
What makes you say that?
330
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,713
Well, I sent the gunk to a lab,
331
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:31,747
and I had it analyzed.
332
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:32,748
Oh.
333
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,951
And they say that we
can expect this result
334
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:37,353
in two percent of
the people who use it.
335
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,420
Good.
336
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:39,922
Good?
337
00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:43,625
Our fellas said three percent.
Let's go with your numbers.
338
00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:44,626
Hey, wait a minute.
339
00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:46,028
Are you saying you
knew about this?
340
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,463
Mr. Larson, I know
341
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,198
that there are some
considerable risks
342
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,333
with these products,
343
00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:52,068
but I'm a little
uncomfortable with this.
344
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:53,502
I may have to
resign the account.
345
00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:54,937
Yeah, me too.
346
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:56,105
I'm hanging up my towel.
347
00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:57,940
Oh, now, wait a
minute, wait a minute.
348
00:14:57,964 --> 00:15:00,576
Aren't the two of
you overreacting?
349
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,846
Why, even God makes products
that are bad for some people.
350
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:07,250
If my cousin Susie
even looks at seafood,
351
00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:09,618
she swells up like a blowfish,
352
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:13,122
but you don't see
God recalling shrimp.
353
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:14,957
Yeah, yeah,
Mr. Larson, that's true,
354
00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:17,293
but this stuff could
irritate a lot of people.
355
00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:21,130
So can Joan Rivers,
but she keeps working...
356
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:23,099
and so do we.
357
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,934
We keep trying to
improve our product,
358
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:26,002
and, Angela,
359
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:28,470
you just keep doing
the advertising,
360
00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:29,638
and by the way,
361
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,941
you're doing a damn fine job.
362
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:33,575
Well, thank you.
363
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:34,977
And you know,
364
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:36,812
Lankershim has a
lot of other products
365
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:39,515
that I'd like to get
your thoughts on.
366
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,817
I'd love to see how
you would handle
367
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:45,154
a really big account.
368
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:47,089
How big?
369
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:51,527
Our dandruff shampoo.
370
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:52,929
That big.
371
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:55,597
You add that to Machismo,
372
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:58,589
and we're talking $10 million.
373
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:03,527
Maybe we could have lunch.
374
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:07,643
Hey. Ten million
dollars for dandruff?
375
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:09,278
That's a lot of
flaky people, huh?
376
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:12,481
And we're gonna take
care of your problem, Tony.
377
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:13,882
You are?
378
00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:15,717
Sure. Next commercial,
we're gonna use a phony gel.
379
00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:18,254
Then I gotta say I'm
using something I'm not.
380
00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:20,789
Well, we could
have another actor
381
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,959
collect all those residuals...
382
00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:25,561
Three, four thousand
dollars a month.
383
00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:31,133
Ooh. Gee, I could
finally junk that old van.
384
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,535
I think you ought
to sleep on it, Tony.
385
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:36,638
I could get myself
a convertible.
386
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:39,475
I'd hate to see you
throw all this away
387
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,311
just because of a little itch.
388
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:47,483
That would be a rash decision.
389
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:55,491
"This was the kind of
woman you fantasize about...
390
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:59,695
"only this was no fantasy.
391
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:07,370
"She was six feet
tall and all girl.
392
00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:09,271
"She slithered toward me,
393
00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:14,043
"her size-36 gown...
394
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:19,748
"was hugging her size-38 body.
395
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:24,953
Well, it was easy to see she
wasn't concealing a weapon."
396
00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:27,823
Oh, gosh, there's the car.
397
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:29,658
Now, look, if anybody asks,
398
00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:31,260
you've been asleep
an hour and a half
399
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,462
and I read to you
from the Hardy Boys.
400
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:34,630
Now, beat it.
401
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:35,631
Thanks, Grandma.
402
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:36,965
Good night, Mona.
403
00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:40,403
Oh, and we won't mention
the hot fudge sundaes either.
404
00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:45,774
Amo... Amas... Amamus... Amamus?
405
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:47,709
Hello, Mother.
406
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:48,911
Are the kids asleep?
407
00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:51,647
Oh, yes, for hours.
408
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:55,484
So, how did it go
with Mr. Larson?
409
00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:56,652
Oh, fine.
410
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:58,487
Fine, fine.
411
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:00,022
You know, fine.
412
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:01,823
Actually, pretty good.
413
00:18:01,847 --> 00:18:05,361
Yeah, he gave her dandruff.
414
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:06,495
The account.
415
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:07,729
Oh.
416
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:10,999
You mean instead of
the Machismo account?
417
00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:15,271
Well, no, I'll kind of be
working on both of them.
418
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:18,074
Oh... Didn't you
show him the rash?
419
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:20,509
Well, you know,
what was left of it.
420
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:21,944
It's clearing up fast.
421
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:25,381
As soon as my legs, my
stomach, and my back clear up,
422
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,083
it's gone.
423
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:29,585
And my arms.
424
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:30,819
I see.
425
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:34,557
So he is not taking
it off the market?
426
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,758
No, not exactly.
He's improving it.
427
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,994
Yeah, which is more
than God's doing.
428
00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:41,685
He's not doing a
thing about shrimp.
429
00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:48,137
Shrimp? I smell something fishy.
430
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:50,272
What do you mean?
431
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,674
You both sold out.
432
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:53,976
We did not.
433
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,712
The dandruff account
is just a little bonus.
434
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,314
Yeah, right.
435
00:18:58,338 --> 00:18:59,881
And Tony's little bonus
436
00:18:59,905 --> 00:19:02,318
is parked out back
in the driveway.
437
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:03,319
What?
438
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:04,343
Mm-hmm. Here.
439
00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:12,161
He bought me a car!
440
00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:14,918
He bought me a car!
441
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:23,005
It's red.
442
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:24,940
It's gorgeous.
443
00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:26,430
It's mine!
444
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,312
Leather seats.
445
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:34,416
Oh... five on the floor. AM/FM.
446
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,953
The clock works!
447
00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:43,492
Baby, this is love.
448
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,728
Oh... and it's not
just a physical thing.
449
00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:50,232
Angela, look at this. Angela?
450
00:19:50,256 --> 00:19:53,291
Angela, where are you?
451
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,975
Angela, don't
you want to see it?
452
00:19:58,431 --> 00:19:59,408
Angela, this ain't a bribe.
453
00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:00,576
It's a bonus.
454
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:01,777
It's just like your
dandruff account.
455
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,212
It's a bonus.
456
00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:05,614
You're right, it's just
like my dandruff account.
457
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:08,850
No! No, it's not!
That's not what I meant.
458
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:09,851
No, no, no!
459
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:10,852
Yes, yes, yes.
460
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:11,920
No.
461
00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:13,489
Yes.
462
00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:17,059
Yes?
463
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,662
Oh, no.
464
00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:22,198
I'll call Mr. Larson
and resign the account
465
00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:23,222
in the morning.
466
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:29,971
And I'll give back the car.
467
00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:32,308
You're doing the right thing.
468
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:35,211
Don't rub it in.
469
00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:37,446
Well, honesty
is the best policy.
470
00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:40,416
I mean, even if nobody else
in the whole world knows,
471
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,184
you know it.
472
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:44,220
You've got to be
true to yourself.
473
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:46,777
I'm proud of both of you.
474
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,062
All right, all right!
475
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:57,399
So the kids just went to sleep.
I read them a trashy novel.
476
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,668
I stuffed them full
of hot fudge sundae!
477
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:03,861
So, are you happy? Huh?
478
00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:24,893
Tony?
479
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:26,528
What are you doing out here?
480
00:21:26,552 --> 00:21:28,464
It's 4:00 in the morning.
481
00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:31,867
It's 4:02 in the morning.
482
00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:33,402
I stand corrected.
483
00:21:33,426 --> 00:21:35,937
You couldn't sleep either, huh?
484
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:37,139
Not a wink.
485
00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:39,341
I thought when you
had a clear conscience
486
00:21:39,365 --> 00:21:41,310
you're supposed
to sleep like a baby.
487
00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:44,313
Not when it costs you
a $10-million account.
488
00:21:44,337 --> 00:21:45,881
Or a red convertible.
489
00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:46,905
Yeah.
490
00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:56,825
This is the sexiest
Italian machine
491
00:21:56,849 --> 00:21:59,950
I've had my hands on
since Doreen DiSpenza.
492
00:22:04,390 --> 00:22:07,336
Well, a lot of firms
would've taken that account
493
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,505
and let the client deal
with the consequences.
494
00:22:09,529 --> 00:22:11,006
Yeah, I know.
495
00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:14,009
In the minors, I knew
guys who'd drop a fly ball
496
00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:15,544
for a hundred bucks.
497
00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:16,934
Yeah.
498
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:21,650
Have a seat.
499
00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:22,873
Thank you.
500
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:28,324
So what's wrong with us?
501
00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:30,359
We're a couple of patsies.
502
00:22:30,383 --> 00:22:34,062
No. It's worse than that.
503
00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:37,098
We're honest.
504
00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:39,067
Hmph.
505
00:22:39,091 --> 00:22:40,502
You know...
506
00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:42,571
if I scratch a car
in a parking lot,
507
00:22:42,595 --> 00:22:44,406
I leave a note on it.
508
00:22:44,430 --> 00:22:46,775
Really? I draw a wavy
line through a stamp
509
00:22:46,799 --> 00:22:49,545
when it comes through
the mail uncanceled.
510
00:22:49,569 --> 00:22:53,181
Yeah? I...
511
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:56,518
if I'm shopping
and I eat a cherry,
512
00:22:56,542 --> 00:22:59,555
I take the pit to
the checkout girl.
513
00:22:59,579 --> 00:23:02,646
You really are a sap.
514
00:23:05,317 --> 00:23:10,699
Angela, I always
wanted a convertible.
515
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:13,301
Closest I ever came was
when the top of my old man's car
516
00:23:13,325 --> 00:23:14,325
rusted out.
517
00:23:16,328 --> 00:23:19,808
You know, Tony, you don't
have to take this car back
518
00:23:19,832 --> 00:23:21,098
until tomorrow morning.
519
00:23:23,503 --> 00:23:25,547
You thinking what I'm thinking?
520
00:23:25,571 --> 00:23:27,816
Breakfast?
521
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:28,906
New Hampshire?
522
00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:31,909
I'll get the kids!
33240
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