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So, for Halloween...
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00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:04,790
I'm not doing a couples costume.
3
00:00:04,860 --> 00:00:06,420
That's not what I was going to say,
4
00:00:06,490 --> 00:00:07,920
but since you brought it up, this year,
5
00:00:07,940 --> 00:00:10,390
Halloween does fall on a
Saturday... date night.
6
00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:12,300
You wear a black dress, I go as ALF,
7
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:13,600
and you're my puppeteer!
8
00:00:13,670 --> 00:00:14,930
You love black dresses
9
00:00:14,950 --> 00:00:16,230
and putting words into my mouth.
10
00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:17,500
ALF was a puppet?
11
00:00:17,570 --> 00:00:18,860
Yoo-hoo! It's us.
12
00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,900
Ooh, give me those fat baby thighs.
13
00:00:23,780 --> 00:00:25,780
Why is there no baby? Where's the baby?
14
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:27,380
Sleeping safely at home.
15
00:00:27,450 --> 00:00:28,790
We're testing out the new baby monitor.
16
00:00:28,810 --> 00:00:30,190
Yeah. This is the farthest
17
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:31,490
we've ever gone without her.
18
00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:33,460
I can sit on your stoop and
drink a glass of wine.
19
00:00:35,850 --> 00:00:37,150
- Oh.
- Oh.
20
00:00:37,260 --> 00:00:38,719
End of the line. Listen...
21
00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:41,519
we didn't just come here
for monitor science.
22
00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:43,490
We came to ask if you two would consider
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00:00:43,550 --> 00:00:45,200
being godparents to Maria.
24
00:00:45,630 --> 00:00:47,500
Oh, yes, yes, yes!
25
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:50,570
- Oh!
- Oh!
26
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:52,600
That's wonderful. Thank you.
27
00:00:52,700 --> 00:00:55,370
I knew it would either be us
or Bill and Melinda Gates.
28
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:57,760
We'd be happy to be your
death back-up parents.
29
00:00:57,780 --> 00:01:01,040
And you know the great
thing about godparents?
30
00:01:01,110 --> 00:01:02,710
They're always up for babysitting.
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00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:04,680
We'd be honored. Any time.
32
00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:05,880
Yes!
33
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,740
How about Saturday night? Date night.
34
00:01:07,770 --> 00:01:09,060
Ooh!
35
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:10,780
But that's Halloween.
36
00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:12,440
Is it? We'll do it.
37
00:01:12,590 --> 00:01:13,890
- All right!
- Yay!
38
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:30,700
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
39
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,119
I'm gonna make you an offer
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00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:36,860
you can't refuse.
41
00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:38,330
Are you The Penguin from "Batman"?
42
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:39,430
'Cause he wears a top hat.
43
00:01:39,450 --> 00:01:41,250
I'm The Godfather.
44
00:01:41,350 --> 00:01:43,220
You tried to kill Halloween
with babysitting,
45
00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:44,790
but you've only made it stronger.
46
00:01:44,890 --> 00:01:46,159
Now I can do a couples costume
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00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:47,659
with Marvin and Honey's baby.
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00:01:47,660 --> 00:01:49,490
She'll be the severed horse's head.
49
00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:51,510
Her little face peeking
out of the horse's mouth?
50
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,860
I die. I die just thinking about it.
51
00:01:53,970 --> 00:01:55,080
What if she suffocates?
52
00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:56,580
Wasn't married to it.
53
00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:59,300
So, have you boys figured out
54
00:01:59,340 --> 00:02:00,940
your joint Halloween costume yet?
55
00:02:00,950 --> 00:02:02,980
We're gonna be Fred and Barney
from "The Flintstones."
56
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,070
No. I'm gonna need you both in pants,
57
00:02:05,170 --> 00:02:06,720
especially since the two of you
58
00:02:06,740 --> 00:02:08,440
are gonna be handing
out candy this year.
59
00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:12,110
- That is, if you're up for it.
- Listening.
60
00:02:12,210 --> 00:02:13,700
One piece of candy per kid,
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00:02:13,740 --> 00:02:15,990
nobody gets anything for
just a Dolphins jersey,
62
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,210
and no white sheets.
63
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,780
It's either a lazy ghost
or something much worse.
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00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:21,980
Dad, don't worry. We've got this.
65
00:02:22,090 --> 00:02:23,679
Good, because one false move,
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00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:24,960
and the house gets egged.
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00:02:24,980 --> 00:02:26,200
Sure, we can clean it all up,
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00:02:26,220 --> 00:02:28,320
but the shame will last for years.
69
00:02:30,660 --> 00:02:31,660
Okay.
70
00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:33,670
So, the plan for Halloween
is to meet the guys
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00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:35,200
at the cemetery at sundown.
72
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:37,530
Spending the night there
is gonna be so creepy fun.
73
00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:38,920
Yeah, sure, cool.
74
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,520
Eddie, I'm not feeling heard by you.
75
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:44,570
Sorry. I'm trying to find
a job so I can buy a car.
76
00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:46,640
Ooh! The country club's hiring!
77
00:02:46,740 --> 00:02:48,660
Do bathroom tenants get
to pee on the job, or... ?
78
00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:50,280
Do they have to hold it?
79
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:51,319
If you want a job,
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00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:52,919
why don't you just go
back to Cattleman's?
81
00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:55,380
I'm not trying to work at my
pop's restaurant my whole life.
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00:02:55,420 --> 00:02:56,920
I got my own plans.
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00:02:57,020 --> 00:02:58,790
I want to prove I can do this myself.
84
00:02:58,890 --> 00:03:00,370
But you're still bringing
the day-old ribs
85
00:03:00,390 --> 00:03:01,660
to the cemetery, right?
86
00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:03,360
Of course. It's gonna be awesome.
87
00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:05,700
I've memorized things Brian's
dead grandma used to say.
88
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:07,460
Gonna scare the crap out of him.
89
00:03:07,570 --> 00:03:09,930
"I once got hit on by Ronald Reagan."
90
00:03:11,340 --> 00:03:12,570
You know what scares me?
91
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:13,980
That dancing bed.
92
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,470
♪ When you need to rest
your sleepy head ♪
93
00:03:16,570 --> 00:03:19,100
♪ Go to "Beds! Beds!
Beds!" and buy a bed ♪
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00:03:20,770 --> 00:03:22,900
Beds! Beds! Beds! I can work there.
95
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,610
I've spent half my life on a mattress.
96
00:03:24,710 --> 00:03:26,060
I'm the king of napping.
97
00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:27,580
The California King.
98
00:03:28,550 --> 00:03:31,110
You know, it's a longer
mattress than a...
99
00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:33,050
You know what? You're gonna do great.
100
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:41,790
A Japanese man saved my
father's life once, so...
101
00:03:41,890 --> 00:03:43,460
- you're hired.
- I'll take it!
102
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,360
And I'll take my commission
in cash, too, if that's cool.
103
00:03:46,380 --> 00:03:48,830
No, I can't put you on sales.
104
00:03:48,930 --> 00:03:50,270
Lucas handles sales.
105
00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:54,670
Oh, he's just setting the bait.
106
00:03:54,770 --> 00:03:56,740
Customers see a doze like that,
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00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:58,500
they want some for themselves.
108
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:01,180
Now, you'll be in the
back assembling beds,
109
00:04:01,250 --> 00:04:02,980
de-vacuum-packing pillows,
110
00:04:03,050 --> 00:04:05,080
- making coffee.
- Sir, please.
111
00:04:05,150 --> 00:04:06,720
I can sell mattresses.
112
00:04:06,820 --> 00:04:08,650
Just give me a chance.
113
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,900
Kid's got a set of springs on him.
114
00:04:11,090 --> 00:04:12,360
All right. Tell you what...
115
00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:15,900
you can work our all-night
Halloween Spooktacular sale.
116
00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,060
Oh, well I was gonna spend
my night in the cemetery,
117
00:04:18,130 --> 00:04:19,430
but you know what?
118
00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:21,160
I'll be here. I won't let you down.
119
00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:29,620
Why are you throwing away candy?
120
00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,710
I am saving the boys some guesswork.
121
00:04:31,780 --> 00:04:32,856
I'm chucking all the Smarties.
122
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:34,460
Sweet chalk? I don't think so.
123
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,450
Get this... Marvin and Honey
124
00:04:36,550 --> 00:04:39,249
made us a list of baby instructions.
125
00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:41,450
"Ask her permission before
you check her diaper.
126
00:04:41,550 --> 00:04:43,390
No peek-a-boo after 4:00 p.m."
127
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,820
"Don't let her watch lacrosse on TV"?
128
00:04:45,890 --> 00:04:47,520
New parents.
129
00:04:47,590 --> 00:04:49,730
Did you tell them how amazing
we were with our babies?
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00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,110
Of course, for like an hour.
131
00:04:51,130 --> 00:04:52,310
And they still gave you the list?
132
00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:53,640
White people love lists.
133
00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:55,330
As if we need baby instructions.
134
00:04:55,430 --> 00:04:56,880
Hey, Evel Knievel, here's how you jump
135
00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:58,700
15 buses on a motorcycle.
136
00:04:58,770 --> 00:05:01,469
Let's file this with that
recipe for upside-down cake
137
00:05:01,470 --> 00:05:03,370
that Honey gave me.
138
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,870
Alley-oop!
139
00:05:06,580 --> 00:05:07,840
Is this a Mervyn's bag?
140
00:05:07,910 --> 00:05:09,350
When are we gonna stop reusing bags?
141
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:11,580
We're doing really well.
We can buy trash bags.
142
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,660
Aah!
143
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,330
Trent, what are you doing here?
144
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,560
Couldn't let my best bud work
the 'ween all by himself.
145
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,420
I did some trick-or-treating
on the way over
146
00:05:34,470 --> 00:05:36,386
so you'd have enough chocolate
to stay up all night.
147
00:05:36,410 --> 00:05:37,890
Aren't you supposed to
be at the cemetery?
148
00:05:37,910 --> 00:05:39,240
Nah, I stopped by,
149
00:05:39,310 --> 00:05:41,110
but, honestly, what's the big deal?
150
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:42,920
You think I haven't been
to a graveyard before?
151
00:05:42,940 --> 00:05:44,400
I've lost several loved ones.
152
00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:47,520
Die, Satan!
153
00:05:48,950 --> 00:05:50,590
Seemed like he was gonna
be a distraction.
154
00:05:53,930 --> 00:05:55,840
I can't believe they thought
we were "Men in Black."
155
00:05:55,860 --> 00:05:57,160
"Men in Black" wear sunglasses,
156
00:05:57,230 --> 00:05:58,790
Mulder and Scully wear badges.
157
00:05:58,860 --> 00:06:01,460
When I opened the X-Files, I
knew there'd be doubters.
158
00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:03,030
People fear the unknown.
159
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:04,700
We live in it.
160
00:06:04,770 --> 00:06:06,270
The Baby Ruth is out there.
161
00:06:06,340 --> 00:06:07,540
You did it, Mulder.
162
00:06:07,610 --> 00:06:09,540
Trick or treat!
163
00:06:11,010 --> 00:06:12,480
Thanks again for babysitting.
164
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:14,426
Honey and I are gonna make
the most of our night out.
165
00:06:14,450 --> 00:06:17,050
My spinach can is full of rum!
166
00:06:17,150 --> 00:06:18,480
We are so happy to help.
167
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:21,360
In fact, I don't think I've
ever seen Louis happier.
168
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,090
It's-a me, Mario,
169
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:25,090
and my little helper, Yoshi!
170
00:06:25,190 --> 00:06:27,460
There are no girl dinosaurs, Louis.
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00:06:27,530 --> 00:06:28,790
That's how they got extinct.
172
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,240
Okay!
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00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:31,760
So fun!
174
00:06:31,860 --> 00:06:34,260
Now, don't forget... bedtime is 7:30.
175
00:06:34,330 --> 00:06:36,370
Well, I mean, you know that.
176
00:06:36,470 --> 00:06:38,230
- You have the list.
- Memorized.
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00:06:38,340 --> 00:06:40,969
You two go enjoy your night.
This is nothing for us.
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00:06:40,970 --> 00:06:43,240
We'll get her down and have
time to clean your kitchen,
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00:06:43,340 --> 00:06:45,680
- which needs it.
- Hi.
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00:06:45,980 --> 00:06:47,980
There you go. Aww...
181
00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,980
I'm surprised to see the
daughter of a dentist
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00:06:50,050 --> 00:06:51,319
using a pacifier.
183
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,620
That's what I say.
184
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:55,600
Everybody knows that the
suck leads to buck.
185
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,840
Teeth. Buck teeth.
186
00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:01,290
We really need this night out.
187
00:07:01,390 --> 00:07:02,460
Hey, guys,
188
00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:03,990
you're really good with babies.
189
00:07:04,060 --> 00:07:06,180
Do you think maybe you
could wean her off it?
190
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,230
- Hallo-wean her off it.
- No problem.
191
00:07:08,330 --> 00:07:10,800
We got Eddie to take
the paci in one night.
192
00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:13,970
♪ That with the sun's love ♪
193
00:07:14,070 --> 00:07:16,340
♪ In the spring ♪
194
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:20,140
♪ Becomes the rose ♪
195
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,550
Emery was even easier.
196
00:07:28,650 --> 00:07:29,966
Don't forget... you're looking at
197
00:07:29,990 --> 00:07:33,039
a couple of seasoned baby whisperers.
198
00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:34,800
Now, go neck in the
woods, you crazy kids.
199
00:07:34,860 --> 00:07:36,630
We got this.
200
00:07:36,730 --> 00:07:38,730
Thank you.
201
00:07:38,830 --> 00:07:40,640
Put it back in! Put it back in!
202
00:07:44,940 --> 00:07:46,340
Oh!
203
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:47,700
- Gosh!
- Uh.
204
00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:50,470
This baby's broken!
205
00:07:52,060 --> 00:07:53,580
We've sung "The Rose" eight times,
206
00:07:53,610 --> 00:07:55,200
and she still cries for the pacifier.
207
00:07:55,210 --> 00:07:57,000
- You must not be in key.
- Don't worry.
208
00:07:57,070 --> 00:07:58,870
Costume number two
should do the trick...
209
00:07:58,910 --> 00:08:01,600
Kuato from "Total Recall."
You just don't recognize me
210
00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:03,126
without a mutant baby coming out of me.
211
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,240
This chest hole will be
comforting like the womb.
212
00:08:05,270 --> 00:08:06,900
She won't even miss the paci.
213
00:08:07,180 --> 00:08:08,520
Open your mind.
214
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,620
I was wrong! Get her out!
215
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,380
- Put her down! Put her down!
- Get her out! Ohh!
216
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,120
I don't understand what's happening!
217
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,559
It was so easy with Eddie!
218
00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:17,060
The truth is...
219
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:19,340
it might not have been as easy
with Eddie as you thought.
220
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,830
♪ The rose ♪
221
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:39,979
Louis! You were completely
undermining my parenting.
222
00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:41,120
I wasn't undermining.
223
00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:43,620
I was collaborating while
you were not in the room.
224
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,790
Besides, I only did it once or twice.
225
00:08:45,820 --> 00:08:47,220
A night.
226
00:08:47,290 --> 00:08:49,540
- For a year or so.
- Oh, my God.
227
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:50,970
Well, you were finally
getting some sleep.
228
00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:52,530
I didn't want him to wake you.
229
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,330
Eventually, he outgrew the pacifier
230
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,630
and no one was the wiser.
231
00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:57,600
Not being wise is being dumb!
232
00:08:57,670 --> 00:08:58,830
You made me dumb!
233
00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:00,226
Trick or treat!
234
00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:01,886
I put a sign on the door!
235
00:09:01,910 --> 00:09:02,970
Damn this holiday!
236
00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:04,656
Okay, you take Halloween.
I'll take the baby.
237
00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:06,790
Apparently, I'm the only one
of us who has the stomach
238
00:09:06,810 --> 00:09:08,410
to do the hard work of good parenting.
239
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,660
Stomach? If that's a
dig at my Kuato hole,
240
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,200
you're taking it a step too far.
241
00:09:14,690 --> 00:09:15,980
Okay, here it goes...
242
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,790
sales pitch.
243
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,750
I'm guessing you're a man who runs hot.
244
00:09:20,790 --> 00:09:23,170
You know I am. You make
me sit on paper towels
245
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:24,736
when I come over for "Crash Bandicoot."
246
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,530
Okay, just... You're not Trent.
247
00:09:26,540 --> 00:09:27,730
You're my pretend customer.
248
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,300
Yes, yes. Please go on.
249
00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:30,870
So, you sleep hot,
250
00:09:30,930 --> 00:09:33,840
but say your wife gets easily chilled.
Yes, my wife,
251
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:35,440
Sarah Michelle Gellar, runs cold.
252
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,640
I call her "Buffy the
Thermostat Slayer."
253
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,200
Fine.
254
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,710
You and your wife, the
gorgeous, famous actress,
255
00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:43,550
will both love this hybrid model
256
00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:45,550
with our patented
hot-away foam on top...
257
00:09:45,650 --> 00:09:46,960
Shh!
258
00:09:48,390 --> 00:09:49,720
D-Did you hear that?
259
00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,580
Relax. It's just the vibrating function.
260
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,070
The only thing you should be scared of
261
00:09:55,090 --> 00:09:57,190
is a delivery fee, which we waive.
262
00:09:57,260 --> 00:09:59,390
I wasn't scared. Besides,
we're safe here.
263
00:09:59,460 --> 00:10:00,780
I locked the door when I came in.
264
00:10:00,830 --> 00:10:02,660
Trent! How am I supposed
to sell a mattress
265
00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:03,770
if the door is locked?
266
00:10:03,830 --> 00:10:06,600
Not by making excuses like that.
267
00:10:09,140 --> 00:10:10,940
Trick or treat!
268
00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:12,510
Hello, friends. What have we here?
269
00:10:12,580 --> 00:10:15,460
Britney Spears. Hit me
baby one more time?
270
00:10:17,380 --> 00:10:18,950
And three Harry Potters!
271
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,299
Please compliment your
mothers on your scar makeup.
272
00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:22,940
I did mine myself.
273
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,380
Mm.
274
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:31,440
Trick or treat!
275
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,700
Weren't you just here, Britney?
276
00:10:34,770 --> 00:10:36,280
I don't know what you're talking about.
277
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:37,656
I'm Hermione Granger.
278
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,400
Candy-loriam! Chocolatose!
279
00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:42,300
Mulder? A word.
280
00:10:42,770 --> 00:10:44,570
What do we do? It's the same girl.
281
00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,370
Dad said one piece of candy per person.
282
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,210
What if she's telling the truth, Scully?
283
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,110
I want to believe.
284
00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:52,280
Fine, but if we run out of candy,
285
00:10:52,350 --> 00:10:53,550
the egging is on you.
286
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,020
Sorry about my partner, Scully.
Such a skeptic.
287
00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:58,580
Trick or treat.
288
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,090
I solved the trick-or-treat problem.
289
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,530
Snipping wires is not as stressful
290
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,180
as they make it seem in the movies.
291
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,040
Permission to sniff your bottom?
292
00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:12,900
You brought the baby list?
293
00:11:12,970 --> 00:11:15,240
Uh, no, this is... our will.
294
00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:16,880
I wrote it up while you were gone.
295
00:11:17,070 --> 00:11:18,360
You don't believe in wills.
296
00:11:18,420 --> 00:11:20,520
You said you want to be buried
with everything we own.
297
00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:22,110
Give me that.
298
00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:23,950
You dug through our trash?
299
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:25,180
I was afraid I'd need it.
300
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:26,796
Funny, I thought you were
the only parent here
301
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,140
who had the stomach for all this.
302
00:11:28,350 --> 00:11:29,580
Okay, fine.
303
00:11:30,550 --> 00:11:32,850
I may have cut a few corners with Emery.
304
00:11:44,630 --> 00:11:46,100
Shh.
305
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:50,440
_
306
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:54,620
You made my mother night-nurse my son?
307
00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:55,990
Yes, because of you!
308
00:11:56,060 --> 00:11:57,960
You tricked me into
thinking Eddie was perfect.
309
00:11:58,030 --> 00:12:00,210
I didn't want people to think there
was something wrong with Emery.
310
00:12:00,230 --> 00:12:01,580
Well, now Marvin and
Honey are gonna think
311
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:02,730
something's wrong with us!
312
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:06,040
We promised we'd wean
Maria off the pacifier.
313
00:12:06,140 --> 00:12:08,140
We don't deserve to be godparents.
314
00:12:08,210 --> 00:12:10,440
We were barely even parents.
315
00:12:10,540 --> 00:12:12,010
We need a hand.
316
00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:18,120
I hear someone can't sleep.
317
00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,000
Trick or treat.
318
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,320
Welcome back, Hermione Britney.
319
00:12:25,430 --> 00:12:27,890
As if. I'm Cher from "Clueless."
320
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,360
Mulder?
321
00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:32,720
She's back for a third time
322
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:34,380
tricking us for treats.
323
00:12:34,530 --> 00:12:36,230
This is everything Dad warned us about.
324
00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:38,170
What if she's a clone? It's Halloween.
325
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,240
Strange things happen.
326
00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:41,670
It's your show, Mulder.
327
00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:47,650
We need you to wean her off the pacifier
328
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:48,680
like you did with Emery.
329
00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:50,119
_
330
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,420
Well, can you take off the knife gloves?
331
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:53,690
No.
332
00:12:53,790 --> 00:12:55,019
Well, then just tell us.
333
00:12:55,020 --> 00:12:56,600
_
334
00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:59,780
_
335
00:12:59,810 --> 00:13:01,980
_
336
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,560
You gave Emery whiskey?!
337
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:06,260
_
338
00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:08,030
- No whiskey.
- Well, that's it.
339
00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:09,370
We're all out of tricks.
340
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:10,940
Wait. We still had one more baby.
341
00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:13,140
- What did we do with Evan?
- Evan was perfect.
342
00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:14,770
He never even took the pacifier!
343
00:13:14,870 --> 00:13:16,486
Damn you, perfect Evan!
344
00:13:16,510 --> 00:13:17,510
- Aah.
- Ohh.
345
00:13:17,511 --> 00:13:19,820
_
346
00:13:21,580 --> 00:13:23,480
That was our only pacifier!
347
00:13:23,550 --> 00:13:24,750
Well...
348
00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:32,300
Now, we call this pillow
the faux-down hoedown.
349
00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:35,430
Just close your eyes and relax.
350
00:13:37,430 --> 00:13:39,340
What was that?!
351
00:13:39,460 --> 00:13:41,200
The phone?
352
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,600
The call is coming
from inside the store!
353
00:13:47,940 --> 00:13:49,400
You got to chill, man!
354
00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:50,600
That could've been a customer!
355
00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:52,480
Or a killer on the premises.
356
00:13:52,550 --> 00:13:55,080
Do you know how many people
die from pillow suffocation?
357
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,510
Every witness to every murder
358
00:13:56,580 --> 00:13:58,650
who happens to be in the
hospital, for starters!
359
00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:00,080
I'm gonna go get a mop.
360
00:14:00,150 --> 00:14:01,940
Try not to mess anything else up.
361
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:10,130
Hi! I'm looking for a bed.
362
00:14:10,170 --> 00:14:11,930
I work a graveyard shift
and sleep all day,
363
00:14:11,940 --> 00:14:14,400
and my futon from college sucks.
364
00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:17,540
Graveyard, sleep all day, sucks?
365
00:14:17,580 --> 00:14:19,570
You're a vampire! I
didn't invite you in!
366
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,210
Spirito spirito santi!
367
00:14:21,310 --> 00:14:22,640
Spirito spirito santi!
368
00:14:22,740 --> 00:14:24,340
Take Eddie! He's full of blood!
369
00:14:24,410 --> 00:14:26,880
I'm uncomfortable. So...
370
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:30,950
Wait! No!
371
00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:37,360
Damn it, Trent. This is my job!
372
00:14:45,330 --> 00:14:47,600
I found six cigar cutters,
a maritime compass,
373
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:49,070
but not a single pacifier.
374
00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:50,416
Shh! It's okay. It's okay.
375
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,000
I tawt I saw a puddy tat.
376
00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:53,650
Are you kidding me?
377
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,570
I thought the distraction
would be good for her.
378
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:57,880
Okay, for me.
379
00:14:59,050 --> 00:15:01,280
Why can't I find another pacifier
380
00:15:01,380 --> 00:15:02,910
in this entire house?
381
00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:04,320
This is all your fault.
382
00:15:04,420 --> 00:15:06,550
This all started with you
sneaking in with Eddie,
383
00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:08,920
and it ends here with
us failing at Maria.
384
00:15:08,940 --> 00:15:11,720
You're the one who outsourced
our parenting to my mom.
385
00:15:11,790 --> 00:15:13,390
Besides, we wouldn't
even be in this mess
386
00:15:13,430 --> 00:15:14,959
if you hadn't tried to ruin Halloween.
387
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,580
Well, you're not helping
with the outfits.
388
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:17,899
Every time she sees you, she thinks
389
00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:19,560
you're a terrifying, new stranger.
390
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:24,240
Don't cry!
391
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,540
It's me... Honey!
392
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,820
I-I-It's me, an older dentist
393
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,100
who loves floral shirts
and was in the Navy.
394
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,300
In my day, you were only allowed to cry
395
00:15:33,310 --> 00:15:34,680
if a bone broke through the skin.
396
00:15:34,780 --> 00:15:36,950
Mama loves you!
397
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,120
Mama wore a halter top the
day after you were born!
398
00:15:39,130 --> 00:15:40,850
What's going on here?
399
00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:44,660
Oh, sweetheart!
400
00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:47,580
It's okay. Mama's home.
401
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,460
Now, I've had a few,
402
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:51,100
but did we do a body switch?
403
00:15:54,340 --> 00:15:56,820
Okay, she's down for the night.
404
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:58,770
We are so sorry. Louis especially.
405
00:15:58,780 --> 00:16:01,040
- The clothes were his idea.
- We'll get them washed.
406
00:16:01,110 --> 00:16:03,110
Maybe Jessica will ask
my mother to do it.
407
00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:05,180
The pants are dry clean only.
408
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,050
Whatever's going on between you two,
409
00:16:07,150 --> 00:16:08,720
can it go on in your own home?
410
00:16:12,140 --> 00:16:13,600
This is yours.
411
00:16:19,460 --> 00:16:21,130
I know the timing's not great for this,
412
00:16:21,150 --> 00:16:23,430
but I could really use a pee buddy.
413
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,770
Storage room is real dark.
414
00:16:25,780 --> 00:16:28,000
Trent, just go to the cemetery.
415
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:30,940
I can't. Look, the truth is...
416
00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,880
I'm scared.
417
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,600
Yeah, I got that.
418
00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:37,180
Why do you care so much
about selling a mattress?
419
00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:39,096
I just wanted to prove that
I could make it in a job
420
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,950
that wasn't handed to me by my dad.
421
00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:44,820
You know what?
422
00:16:44,890 --> 00:16:46,150
I'll buy a mattress from you.
423
00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:48,090
Trent, you don't have to.
424
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:49,679
I want to. You really sold me
425
00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:51,159
on that hot-away foam earlier.
426
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,630
As my body is changing,
427
00:16:52,660 --> 00:16:55,040
there's a heat radiating
from down south.
428
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,030
How much for this bad boy?
429
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,270
- $4,000.
- On sale?!
430
00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:01,940
But the gently-used twin
in the corner is only $75.
431
00:17:03,270 --> 00:17:05,640
- I'll take it.
- Thanks.
432
00:17:06,110 --> 00:17:07,780
I won't tell the gang you were scared.
433
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:10,310
Honestly, the cemetery just
sounds cold and boring.
434
00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:12,310
And to tell the truth, kind of scary.
435
00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:13,680
- Trent, I know!
- Right, right.
436
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:18,270
Trick or treat!
437
00:17:18,340 --> 00:17:20,240
Ugh, Britney? Again?
438
00:17:20,310 --> 00:17:22,610
No, I'm Mary Katherine Gallagher.
439
00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:25,010
Superstar!
440
00:17:27,510 --> 00:17:29,880
Mulder, this has gone too far.
441
00:17:29,950 --> 00:17:31,180
You're right. It's weird.
442
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,560
The only explanation...
she's a shape-shifter.
443
00:17:34,550 --> 00:17:36,650
Wake up, Mulder!
444
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,520
Sorry, that was Scully, not me.
445
00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:41,290
But I am done with your
crazy conspiracy theories.
446
00:17:41,390 --> 00:17:42,590
The truth isn't out there.
447
00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:44,730
It's right in front of your face!
448
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:47,740
It's the same girl, and she's
not getting any more candy!
449
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,400
Scram, Britney. We know it's you.
450
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:51,960
Case closed!
451
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,770
You guys are the worst!
452
00:17:59,650 --> 00:18:00,990
Ready, girls?
453
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,880
Ready, Mother.
454
00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:04,920
That last house didn't
give me any candy.
455
00:18:08,490 --> 00:18:09,700
You were right, Scully.
456
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,560
I let myself get carried away.
457
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,760
Like my sister was carried
away by those aliens.
458
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,790
Thanks for keeping me grounded.
459
00:18:15,900 --> 00:18:17,760
That's why we're a good team, Mulder.
460
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:33,050
We really put our worst
godparent foot forward
461
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:34,159
- last night.
- Up late.
462
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:35,600
Almost overslept. Gotta get to work!
463
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,080
Maybe I'm the reason
Eddie's a bad sleeper.
464
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,520
I'm lucky Emery broke his whiskey habit.
465
00:18:42,590 --> 00:18:44,790
I'm gonna draw lines on
all our liquor bottles
466
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,220
just in case.
467
00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:48,530
Did we just pass Eddie in a tie?
468
00:18:48,630 --> 00:18:50,680
For a minute there, I
thought you got a valet.
469
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,480
If you want us to step
down as godparents,
470
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:57,740
we totally get it.
471
00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,600
Oh, of course, we don't want that.
472
00:18:59,670 --> 00:19:01,099
I mean, yes, we did come home
473
00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:03,370
to a real diaper show last night,
474
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,410
but it made us feel better
475
00:19:05,420 --> 00:19:06,980
about the hard time we were having.
476
00:19:07,050 --> 00:19:08,750
Really? We thought we'd blown it.
477
00:19:08,820 --> 00:19:11,820
No. You two are the
best parents we know.
478
00:19:11,890 --> 00:19:14,820
Honestly, it was a relief to see
you having a tough time, too.
479
00:19:14,890 --> 00:19:17,720
So, the fact that we were
so bad made you feel better
480
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:20,260
- about also being so bad?
- Exactly.
481
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,360
And as a little thank you,
482
00:19:22,430 --> 00:19:23,840
I made my upside-down cake
483
00:19:23,860 --> 00:19:25,860
- you love so much.
- Ohh.
484
00:19:25,970 --> 00:19:27,730
You guys are amazing godparents.
485
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,070
There's no one we'd rather have
486
00:19:29,170 --> 00:19:30,550
take care of this little butterball
487
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:33,000
when Honey and I go to that
big Thanksgiving in the sky.
488
00:19:33,070 --> 00:19:34,140
Oh!
489
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,240
We got to go.
490
00:19:35,310 --> 00:19:38,340
Maria's got seashell
class in 10 minutes.
491
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,180
It's what you think it is.
492
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,240
No idea what they're doing.
493
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:47,750
No idea.
494
00:19:47,850 --> 00:19:49,320
But neither did we.
495
00:19:49,350 --> 00:19:51,060
And our kids turned out pretty great.
496
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,090
'Cause we always had each other's back,
497
00:19:53,190 --> 00:19:55,660
even if it was behind each other's back.
498
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,380
So, should we share
everything we've done
499
00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:59,540
without each other knowing?
500
00:20:01,030 --> 00:20:02,379
Of course not. That would be crazy.
501
00:20:02,380 --> 00:20:03,460
Nothing to tell.
502
00:20:06,820 --> 00:20:08,570
Special delivery for Mommy.
503
00:20:08,670 --> 00:20:10,670
One Evan hug with a side of cheek peck.
504
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,280
What was that for?
505
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,550
After embodying Agent
Dana Scully for a night,
506
00:20:15,650 --> 00:20:17,110
I have a new respect for women.
507
00:20:17,220 --> 00:20:19,120
It is not easy for you.
508
00:20:19,220 --> 00:20:20,920
Let me bus these wrappers.
509
00:20:24,290 --> 00:20:26,890
- Are you sure you didn't...
- I never snuck in.
510
00:20:26,990 --> 00:20:28,090
- I swear.
- You?
511
00:20:28,190 --> 00:20:29,530
Never, not once.
512
00:20:29,630 --> 00:20:32,100
Huh. We really nailed it with Evan.
513
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,300
- We did. We really did.
- Mm-hmm.
514
00:20:42,010 --> 00:20:43,870
Hey, Evan. Can't sleep?
515
00:20:43,980 --> 00:20:45,110
Me neither.
516
00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:47,880
I'm not scared, but I
thought you might be.
517
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:50,710
Your big bro Eddie is just a night owl.
518
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,300
Man, you won't believe what went down
519
00:20:54,350 --> 00:20:56,020
on "Thirtysomething" tonight.
520
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,420
The Steadmans have asbestos.
521
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:03,680
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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