Original subtitles

Zero to three, Alzate.

Look at this old man.

Eating his pre-lunch snack.

So, what's up? Are today's scorpions good?

Tasty, tasty?

See you up there, old man.

What's up, Boyacá?

Good morning, Mr. Jesus.

The day starts, Mr. Jesus.

Compadre, if someone sees you from down there,

they might think you're about to kill yourself.

No, my friend. Life is beautiful.

What's ugly is us.

I was just wondering if Sasaima can be seen from up here.

-Sasaima? -Yes.

Haven't you noticed that on a clear day,

the three snow-capped mountains can be seen?

Ruiz, Santa Isabel, and Tolima.

Listen to him.

Santa Isabel peak is on the right side.

No, sir. That's the Tolima peak. I have hiked them.

They can be seen because they're mountains. But Sasaima...

Sasaima is a dump.

Well, I'm going to that dump with my family this holiday.

-Another trip? -Go figure.

By the way, has the engineer arrived? What time is it?

He's with the architect.

Really? I'm going to ask him to approve my four vacation days

so I can stay all week in Sasaima!

I'll see if I can get an appointment to get my back fixed. See you!

Wow, Sasaima?

That man really travels far.

Sasaima?

Is Sasaima warm?

Happy Birthday, Tavito! Have you been pampered today?

Are you eating well? When you left, you were too skinny!

We're too far and we're broke!

But God will allow us to meet again.

I know that you're always busy,

but please come to visit us. Make some time, please. Okay?

What are you doing for your birthday, son?

Mom, once I finish this meeting,

I'm going to invite all the VPs of the company

to a pool party organized by Lupe.

What a clever girl, right?

She's an expert at throwing pool parties.

One-hundred and fifty people,

something modest. I don't like pretending to be a millionaire.

How I wish I could be there with you!

Momma, when are you coming?

We'll welcome you with open arms. You know.

No, no, I don't want to bother you.

Mom, don't be silly.

We have...

plenty of room. The third floor

is pretty much empty. And...

On the terrace, next to the Mediterranean pool and the Jacuzzi,

there are three empty rooms.

All right, maybe I'll accept the invitation.

Who knows, I might be able to make it!

Wait a minute. Your sister wants to say hi.

Mom, stop shouting. I'm not too far from you.

But he is!

What can I do? I only have one hand free.

Let's see...

What's up, sweetie? Happy birthday!

Hello, Mireya.

What's new? And the children?

Fine. The girl is behaving well.

But William...

is a real pain. I don't know what's wrong with him.

I see. And that lazy Alberto?

Fine, sweetie. He's laying bricks, but he's okay.

I see. When are you coming to Miami to visit us?

God knows when.

Just kidding. Whenever we have the chance.

Don't be stingy!

Come and we'll treat you like royalty.

I've been trying to,

but I haven't been able to...

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Hello?

You're such a liar!

Blondie, come here.

That's not the attitude.

It makes me mad! You always do the same.

Gustavo, why do you invite those people?

Come on, baby. Those people are my family.

All right, how are we going to host them?

Two of them can sleep in the car. Also under the trailer,

or in the fridge... if you want.

Honestly. I'll eat my hat if those poor people

can come to the United States of America.

Yes, sir?

Okay, in a minute.

Hello, Yulicita.

Albertico!

How are you, darling?

Fine.

-Working. Yes. -Working a lot?

Okay. I brought something for you to have with your coffee.

You're so sweet.

Yulicita, listen.

Next holiday I'm going with my family to Sasaima.

Sasaima again?

Yes, you know. It's where my heart is.

I need to talk to the engineer because I have four paid days off.

I want to know if I can take that time to stay all week.

How nice.

Let me check if the engineer can see you right now.

You're very nice. Thank you.

The winning moment.

The moment to give away a prize. The mystery prize

that everybody wants to get.

You know that you must answer and say the key phrase:

"I'm tuned to Radio Claridad

twenty-four hours a day."

We're going to call one of our listeners right now.

Remember, only three attempts. If you don't answer then,

we'll have to give another listener the chance.

It's ringing now.

I'm tuned to Radio Claridad 24 hours a day.

Very good! That's the key phrase. That's right, darling. Who's this?

Alberto de Jesús Rubio.

From what neighborhood?

From the Industrial Area.

-Are you ready? -Go ahead, let's see how far we can go.

Okay. First question.

What's Marcelo Cezan's real name?

Edgar Alfredo Gomez. A dentist from Palmira. He was born

on April 13, 1971.

Wow, great! Alberto, that's right!

We're doing good, Alberto. Here comes the second question.

What's the real name of actress Xilena Aycardi?

Her name is Myriam Vanegas.

Oh, my God!

You know everything about the entertainment world!

You could say that, yes.

Since I was little I got interested in the entertainment world because Aunt Doris

wanted to be a singer, so she taught me a lot.

Very good, Alberto!

Let's see how well she taught you. This is our third and final question.

If you answer correctly,

you'll be the winner of the mystery prize.

Are you ready? I guess you are. Alberto,

what is the real name of actress Carmen Villalobos?

Carmen Villalobos?

No, the thing is that...

I'm not familiar with current celebrities. She's rather new.

Can you give me a clue?

No, darling. The clock is ticking.

Then, the last and final question came.

Real name of Carmen Villalobos? You only have a few seconds.

What a long, boring story!

Mom, look.

Make it shorter. It's very annoying.

Yorley del Carmen Villalobos Barrios.

Her name is Yorley?

You just won a prize!

What a name!

-But not many actresses are that good. -That's right.

Darling, why didn't you call me? I would have heard you.

How could I, sweetheart? I was using the phone at the office.

What did you win? A set of towels? A blender?

No, ma'am. It's a different prize.

Really?

Our vacation.

Really?

Dad, I had told you before.

I can't go to Sasaima this year because I flunked Math and I have to study.

William Alberto, you and your big mouth. What had we agreed on?

What do you mean?

Dad, to be honest... we don't want to go to Sasaima anymore.

We're tired of that ugly town.

It's too hot. Besides, Mom, remember that we got a mosquito allergy last time?

I don't remember anything.

Willy and I had said

that we're too old. We want to enjoy our vacation time with our friends.

-No, speak for yourself. -Really?

So, you fail Math and besides you want to stay with your friends?

Don't worry, honey.

I didn't know that these young people hated Sasaima so much.

But don't worry.

You can stay in Bogotá. I won two round-trip tickets to Miami, Florida, U.S.

Honey... what a nice sancocho.

Where to, sweetie?

Two round-trip tickets to Miami, Florida, U.S.

For the two of us alone?

We'll have to go across the pond to visit the Gringos!

I don't want to be a killjoy, Mr. Rubio,

but I have a question.

Do you have a visa?

No, but I can get it.

Yeah, right. It's very easy.

I'm sure people at the Embassy will roll out the red carpet for you.

Probably.

Another question. Do you have a place to stay?

Mom. Gustavo invites us all the time. We'll crash at his place.

I'm talking to Alberto and not to you, daughter.

Mom, Gustavo invites us all the time. We'll crash at his place.

A final question, Mr. Rubio...

Do you have money for the trip?

Miami is not like Sasaima.

All expenses are to be paid in dollars.

Another innocent question...

how many dollars do you have in your savings account?

Listen to this recommendation.

Sell the tickets you won. They're nothing but a burden.

Use that to pay me back some of the money you owe me.

Rubbing it in again, see?

Enough, honey, enough. God will provide.

Darling.

Your coffee. Perfect for this cold weather.

How nice, sweetie.

A tasty, delicious coffee.

When did you wake up, baby? I didn't notice.

I stayed up late.

-I was thinking and thinking... -Really?

What were you thinking? That smile is suspicious.

Nothing in particular, baby.

Is that right?

Mireya...

would you leave the kids here alone

to go with me to Miami, Florida, U.S., to enjoy and rest?

You, I, William and Mabel should go together.

Either the whole family travels or nobody does!

-Oh, honey! -Yes.

No, no, no. How will we afford the tickets,

the visa and the food? Those kids eat like pigs!

You're in charge of asking your brother Gustavo to host us.

Got it. This is how we can afford the rest of the trip.

This is for the rest of the trip.

-See? -What, honey?

The smurf?

No, darling.

This is your life, darling.

Nobody's going to pay what this old car is worth. No, sir, no.

So? We've spent our entire lunch hour

and you haven't talked. Say something at least.

Compadre, I'm sure this car was hit before.

I said no, sir! Do I have to say it again?

I bought this car from an old lady, who only drove it to get to Mass on Sundays

until she couldn't drive anymore.

Compadre, look. Look at the bubble. It's inclined that way.

Don't give me that line. You dropped this level from the tenth floor.

Look, look. Just try it. Come here, brother. Come here.

Try it. Enjoy it. Come on in.

Sit comfortably. Feel the fury of that beast!

All papers in order.

Pinzon! Please save two soups for me.

All right, Cucalón!

Okay.

Original horn.

Everything is original.

What do you say?

Compadre, are you sure this is what you want to do?

The thing is, I need the money for the trip.

Exactly, it's just a trip. Don't spend all your money on it.

Benitín, what's the best thing to leave behind for your children?

Education. Invest it on the kids' college tuition.

Yes, that's okay. But there's something that nobody will ever take away from them.

Good memories, my friend.

You can bring good memories from Sasaima, too.

Yes, we have good memories of Sasaima. We have photo albums full of memories.

But I'm talking about something else.

It's the opportunity to go out and see the world.

Poor kids, they've never left the country.

You know how to get the best education? By traveling abroad.

What does Mireya say?

She says yes.

So, do we have a deal?

Compadre, what if we take it for a ride first?

I... I didn't understand well, Mireyita. Can you say it again?

Yes!

Just what you've heard, brother.

We'll see you in Miami in the blink of an eye.

Are you sure?

I mean, what I'm saying is...

Is everything organized? Is everything set up?

Is there anything left to do?

Picture this. My lovely Afro-descendant husband won some tickets

and we have to take advantage of this opportunity.

Yes, that's right. You must do it.

Listen... what are your plans?

I was going to tell you that we're traveling with the kids.

I don't think that's a problem, is it?

No, no, no.

On the contrary. That's great!

Your house is too big.

We probably won't even meet when we wake up.

-Hello? -Hello?

-Hello, hello? -Gus?

Phone lines are overloaded.

Honey, listen. No more lies.

Not even one. I'm going to work. Be careful!

Good luck.

Bring me some pork ribs.

Why are you supporting your Afro-descendant husband's crazy decision?

Mother, don't get me mad.

We discussed it already and I don't want to talk about it anymore.

Mireya, you'll go further into debt!

What will you get from it?

Do you know what we will get? Pictures.

What are pictures? Memories.

Can memories be used to buy groceries, and pay for utilities,

the rent and the money you owe me?

Besides, so many people at your brother's? He's a very busy man.

He's full of businesses, meetings and work!

So what, Mom? We're not going to his emporium.

We're just going to stay at his house. He's invited us many times.

I don't agree. If I were you, I would talk to that irresponsible husband of yours.

You know what, mother?

I'm going to make some coffee.

Mireya, don't leave me talking to myself. Mireya! Damn it!

Yes?

Hello, Mom? Don't say it's me.

I don't have much time.

I have a very important meeting.

It's really important.

Don't worry, son. What is it?

The thing is...

I was talking to Mireya,

and she told me that they're coming to Miami.

Yes. I was there, yes.

That's wonderful. I love it!

I'm very excited to have them here!

But, Mom, right now, at this very moment,

I'm extremely, extremely busy.

Look. Some Japanese, Korean, and even Filipinos are coming.

No, Mom... This is hurricane season.

Florida becomes very dangerous.

I understand, sweetie.

So... I couldn't tell her anything. I was embarrassed to tell Mireya.

You know she's very sensitive.

So... Mom, could you please help me?

Get them to give up that idea.

Listen, darling. They may have the tickets.

They may even get the money for the trip.

But getting the visa... that will happen when pigs fly!

Mom, listen to me.

Nowadays, a nobody can get a visa, too.

Don't worry, son.

I think I know how to get their visa denied.

Okay, family. Here we are together. We'll give the best of ourselves

because the adventure of the Rubio Cucalón family,

and others, to conquer the American land starts here!

Well said, honey! Yes!

This silly man thinks that he's in a reality show.

We're getting the visa.

If the Rubio Cucalón family applies for a visa...

-The visa is approved! -The visa is approved!

Let's go, winners.

-Take that, darling. Take all of that. -Let's go, winner.

Come here, darling.

-Let's go, honey. -Come here, darling.

Good morning in the morning. First of all,

my name is Alberto Rubio Murillo. This is my wife. Speak, darling.

Mireya Cucalón de Rubio, at your service.

-My daughter. Say hi, dear. -Mabel Rubio Cucalón!

-My son. Say hi, dear. -William Rubio Cucalón!

And we are the Rubio Cucalón family.

I'm Erecinda Fuertes, widow of Cucalón.

All right, dear consul. First of all, let me tell you

that our family is very healthy.

We like playing sports.

Sir, if I were you, I wouldn't trust him.

This man doesn't mean well.

He doesn't have any properties.

He lives in my house, and he never pays the rent on time. Besides,

he works as a construction worker.

No, ma'am. I'm a welder and metal worker.

He doesn't have a permanent job, and he doesn't earn much.

Besides, his financial support is a savings account with negative balance.

Do you know what I mean? You heard him. He won the tickets in a contest.

If you let him in, he'll stay as an undocumented worker.

Mother!

Are you done?

No.

I'm sorry, dear consul. This poor woman

didn't take her pill this morning. She's a bit crazy.

Not as much as your mother!

-She's aggressive, too. -Hold her, honey.

Dear consul, we don't want to bother you. Don't give her the visa.

But we need it for our six-day visit. Right?

-All right. -Yeah.

Your visas have been approved. Okay?

Ethan, your sandwich is in the trunk.

-Lupe. -Over there, yes.

Please, pay the bills.

-Yes, sir. -And close the pool every day.

And change the code of the house every day.

-Code, yes. -Alarm code.

Sorry, sorry.

Okay.

Bye, Ms. Thompson. Bye!

Honey, what are you doing here? Why do you scare me like that?

Wow, blondie, you look pretty.

Lupe...

we're in trouble.

What did you do now?

I need you to tell me why you're here. I get nervous every time you come.

I have many things to do. I have to clean the kitchen,

there's a mess upstairs. I have many things to do.

My sister and her family are coming to Miami.

I told them they could stay at home.

What? Are you out of your mind?

-Are you crazy, honey? -No, no.

Look, I was too embarrassed to say no. My mom couldn't avoid it either.

Just call your sister and tell her that they can't come because

we're too busy. Just tell her that. Period.

Lupe, they don't understand

that I'm this close to achieving the American dream.

They think that I'm a magnate and you know that I'm this close to that.

What do you want me to do, then? Tell me what you want me to do.

How long will your bosses be away?

One month.

One month. And you're in charge of the house.

Yes.

One week. Give me one week in this house

and I swear I will forgive all your humiliation.

It's my last word. I swear.

Food. How much are hot dogs?

All right. Look, Dad. They have some special combos with guacamole,

-bacon... -Something soft. Something simple.

-Just hot. -Okay.

With a soda, they're 5 dollars.

Five dollars times 4, that's 20. Six days, 20 times 6, is 120.

We eat twice... that's 240.

Two-hundred and forty dollars. Food: 240.

Dad, are we going to eat hot dogs every day?

-I don't eat processed meat, pasta... -Don't worry, baby.

There must be variety. We will have it.

How much are hamburgers?

Why don't we check how much it is to rent a red convertible?

You're so sweet. No.

Instead... entertainment. Let's see how much it is.

What are the zoo admission prices?

-Entertainment. -Zoo.

Thirty dollars each.

-Got it. Multiplied by four. -Don't even do the math, darling.

The zoo is canceled.

Wait.

-Let's do this. One of us goes in. -Yes.

He takes pictures, and then he shows the others in the evening.

-Yes. -You know why? Because pictures are...

-Memories. -Memories.

All right.

Nice.

What a cheap trip.

Look what I found.

Great, son!

Our day on the beach is solved. For free, as we like it.

Yes!

-Hey... -I'm getting tanned.

Gustavito has been living in Miami for 20 years

and these are the presents we get?

Such a penny pincher. Maybe that's why he has money.

Honey, why don't we check the parks? The parks.

See how much.

No, stop. Stop, honey! That's for Gringos only.

What do you say about the car?

I said no!

Baby, yes! I'll be there soon.

I was tired because Dad always chose those beaches

in the south. I wanted to go to the north, to a more Americanized area.

Yes, yes. I know it's between you and me. I know all about it. I know.

Just listen to me. Listen.

I solemnly swear that...

Mabel Rubio is absolutely up for it, baby.

All right, all right. Talk to you later.

Baby, I have a question to ask.

Are people actually as pretty as they are in movies?

I can't believe it!

I can't even imagine! I can't picture it at all, baby.

All right! Miami, Florida, U.S.!

Get ready because the Rubio Cucalón family is coming!

You must thank me for lending you the money.

Otherwise, you wouldn't be in the line to take the plane.

Could you be any louder?

That's why I didn't want to ask your mother for a money loan.

She's always rubbing it in. It's not like I won't pay the money back!

Enough, honey. Don't listen to her.

Listen, Mother. Let me ask you something.

Please, don't start arguing.

Don't you dare tell the clerks all those atrocities you said at the Embassy.

-That's right. Look at her. -By the way, Mr. Rubio.

Don't declare victory yet. You still have to go through immigration in the U.S.

-Why don't you take her out for a while? -Rude man...

Mom, stop! At least for today, let's make peace, all right?

-Good, honey. Don't worry. I'm at peace. -I know.

I'll go with you to the end of the world, no matter what I have to carry.

How dirty!

Oh, Mom.

Listen, Ms. Erecinda. We're ambassadors of Colombia around the world.

Careful with your actions.

Because of ambassadors like you, we're screwed.

She's lying, honey. You're a great ambassador!

Yes!

Put your faith in it, Colombian! Hurrah for Colombia!

-Hurrah! -Hurrah!

-Our turn. -Hello!

-Good morning. Who are you traveling with? -How are you?

Be careful with your grandmother.

The Rubio Cucalón family and a gatecrasher.

I mean, with my mother-in-law.

Honey, if things don't go well, we'll lose everything!

Attitude, Lupe, attitude. No pictures of your bosses downstairs?

No, only this one. That's it.

Now we need to get polished.

Honey, I don't know. I feel strange wearing these clothes.

I don't know if this looks good.

-You look really good, hottie! -Really?

What about this one? This is the one.

Let me see.

-Damn. Too tight? -Let me help you.

No, no, I like it. You look very nice, darling.

-Right? -Yes, I like it.

What time are we leaving?

To the airport?

-Yes. -We have plenty of time.

How will we get there?

How will we get there?

By car.

Really? Which one?

Your bosses' car.

No, I don't know.

That piece of metal is sitting in the garage doing nothing.

What if something happens to us?

Lupe, you're with me. Should we take a cab then?

We have no money.

We wouldn't look so good.

Right? Imagine that.

Hey, darling, good clothes are what we need, right?

You look very nice, honey!

-Cool. -Yes.

Why is this so tight?

Because you got fat.

Get away from me, Satan, you'll get nothing of me.

On the day of the Holy Cross, I said one thousand times:

"Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus..."

This is the most important day for the Rubio Cucalón family.

It's the first time that a member

of the Rubio Cucalón family steps on American land.

And when the Rubio Cucalón steps on new land...

-They colonize it! -They colonize it!

-Next! -Through that gate!

Grandma.

Passport.

William, darling. Put your six levels of English into practice.

-Come here, son. -Go now!

Stop fooling around, William!

-Don't be so shy. -Oh, yes!

-Hi! -Passport.

Oh, yes! Passport.

Passport.

Oh, this...

Yes, yes.

Colombian people...

Rubio Cucalón!

Where in Miami you will be staying?

Miami? Yes.

He showed his Gringo side.

You want to enter more than 10,000 dollars in cash in the United States?

Oh, yes. Yes, yes.

What is he asking, son?

He wants to visit Colombia.

See? All of us want to travel.

Tell him that he's invited to our house.

How can you say that? Of course, you're not paying for that.

We have to be nice to people.

Do you want to stay here illegally?

Yes!

Yes, yes!

-Yes! -Yes!

-Yes? -Yes.

-Yes! -Yes!

-Yes! -Yes!

Guys!

Gays, come, come with me.

-Gays? -See? You could do it, son.

-That's normal here, Mom. -Really?

Hi, my gays!

-Move! Move, come on! -Okay.

Come on! Move, guys!

Now, wait...

What happened, officer?

Not like that. No!

Be gentle!

Yes, sir. Everything you want. I will even take my clothes off.

-No problem. -All bags up here.

We're good people.

We're poor... but honest.

How could we carry 10,000 dollars? We don't have that amount!

Besides, how could someone want to stay here illegally?

That wasn't a nice welcome.

That's what the boy said out there.

-What? -What is he talking about?

What did you say?

-The man spoke too fast! -Fast? What are you saying?

See, officer?

I paid for six English levels

at the Madison Institute, and that's what this silly boy does?

Oh, I can't believe it! We're in Miami! Grandmother, look!

Don't worry, son. I'll clean your drool shortly.

So, tell me, how was the flight?

-Good, good. -There was a lot of movement!

I was praying all the way.

Oh, the turbulence. And immigration is a real pain. How was it?

It was a mess

-because we didn't speak English. -Our son almost fainted,

and he started to drool.

Dad, look at that car!

Hey.

Hello, Uncle!

-Oh, that's Gustavo! -Hello!

-Hello! -Hello!

Hey, family!

-Hello, son! -What's new, Gustavo?

Want me to keep an eye on your car?

Oh, honey! We're really poor.

Don't be so amazed, darling. This is just looks.

These houses are destroyed by strong winds.

Take that, Mr. Rubio.

Your jaw just dropped! Close it! You'll still be able to see.

So, brother-in-law, how did you like the house?

-It's also yours. -Yes.

Can you believe him?

It's not like we live in a palace.

You know what?

I prefer exposed brick, because the white finish gets dirty very easily.

Tavito, don't listen to him.

He thinks he's an architect.

What a nice piece of furniture!

-Come here, Mother. -Darling...

-What? -Do you really think

that this gets dirty easily?

No, honey. I'm just counting. One, two, three, four, five

scaffolds just to change a light bulb.

No, it's not worth it.

-A pool? -What?

-Come here, son! -William!

-William, what are you going to do? -What are you going to do?

Don't get in the pool with those clothes on!

He hasn't been on a trip for a while, honey.

Yes.

Gustavito, with all due respect... Is she a natural blond?

Or is she a fake?

Natural, my friend.

Really?

Thanks for welcoming us into your home.

-Honestly. Thank you. -Don't say that. You're my family.

Can I make a confession?

Sure.

I didn't think that the American dream was true.

Your mother said that you were succeeding here. You know what?

I thought you were struggling.

But you're not. Congratulations. You're a very brave man. You really are.

Thank you. Honestly, thank you.

I've had to work hard.

It's been tough.

But this country is full of opportunities.

You have to look for them. You must have...

Yes, my friend. You clearly have it. Just look at your house, it's a palace.

Look at your wife and everything else.

It makes me want to bring my family.

It's all yours.

You know what? It makes me want to bring my whole family.

Good.

-Good. -Right?

Gustavito, listen.

If I decided to stay, would you take me?

I mean... just as I settle.

Sure! Of course, my man!

-Come here. -I knew it.

-Cheers. -Cheers.

So, Albertoski?

Hung over?

No, not even a bit. What a great drink! You were right.

What are your plans for today? Don't you want to go out early?

Of course. We'll go shopping!

We have to buy some sneakers for Williamcito.

I also have to buy a swimsuit.

The one I brought is 20 years old. It's from our honeymoon.

There's a good mall nearby. A very stylish one. Right?

How can we take the Transmi?

-What? -The Transmi.

The public transport, blondie.

No, you can just walk. It's really close.

Gustavito, you can take them, right?

Seriously, Gustavito?

In that case, I have another favor to ask.

Don't say no, please.

Tell him!

What is it, brother-in-law?

Gustavito, will you let me drive your car?

My mouth is watering.

Go ahead, Tavo. It's not so hard.

Go ahead.

No, no, no!

Oh, boy! It's such a beauty!

This is too far.

Careful, I might hit someone.

Wait.

Son of a... This is too much!

No!

She's registering everything already.

-Move! -And the black blouse...

I want to wear it on top of the strapless.

We're going to look amazing!

That's all. How much is it?

The price is...

How much is it?

-What? -How much is it? How much?

She doesn't get anything.

-Hi, how are you? How much is everything? -Hello, ma'am. How are you?

It's 3577 dollars.

Three-thousand... How much is that?

It's a lot of money. Wait, I'll do the conversion.

The exchange rate is 3000 pesos.

-Son of a...! -Son of a...!

Can we get a discount? That's too much. It's impossible.

Oh, Mom, see how much it is

-in Colombian pesos? -What?

You know what? You didn't lose a sale.

You lost a client. A satisfied customer returns, but we will never come back!

So, please leave everything aside,

and I'll come back next week.

Mom, she doesn't understand!

This merchandise is probably Chinese. Let's get out of here, son.

Let's go, let's go.

It's just that the prices...

We should've gone to Sasaima.

There's a shop there where swimsuits are 8000 pesos.

You said this is a sunny city?

Sasaima is sunnier.

Honey, activate the wipers. Otherwise, we'll crash.

But I don't know this car!

I see why they gave those tickets away.

Stop the drama. Can't you see this is Miami? It's tropical rain.

It's not like it's raining gold. Listen to her.

I prefer Sasaima.

Baby, yes. Everything's under control. Don't worry.

Well, just tell me.

Tell me what I have to do. I've just arrived in Miami

and I don't know how to get around town.

Seriously?

No, I don't know.

I have to hang up. All right. We'll talk later. Bye!

-Come here. Don't be like that. -No.

Ladies and gentlemen...

May I have your attention, please?

The three-time world diving champion,

the Colombian Alberto Duque Rubio Cucalón

and his unbeatable jump in the style of a Magdalena River fish!

Show us what you got!

-Go ahead! -Here I come.

Oh, that must hurt!

He has a cramp!

Honey, help your dad!

A cramp!

No!

One, two, three!

No!

Lupe!

What is going on here?

You made me lose my job!

So, you're...

The maid! What else?

I was! Now I lost my job.

Didn't you say they would be back in a month?

Honey, it was your fault!

You took the car out, and the neighbor noticed everything!

Gustavo, that's not correct!

Selling the idea of the American dream based on a lie?

That's why I didn't believe anything you said!

Where do we go now?

God, this weather is too hot! I'm scorched, honey.

Two days without taking a shower.

We're very unlucky. The trailer broke down and we ran out of water.

Because you're a bit darker, nobody notices that you haven't showered.

Thankfully, Ms. Erecinda, there's plenty of water around. There's sea all around.

Darling, get some soap, shampoo and towels ready.

Mabel, did you fall asleep?

What, Dad? Will you make us bathe with sea water? What's wrong with you?

You're so uncouth!

You also make us wake up early when we only want to enjoy our vacation.

Exactly! We're on vacation in Miami, Florida, U.S.!

That doesn't happen too often.

The zoo visit is today!

Yes, honey, you said so.

Only one of us is going.

Where are the cards?

-William, the cards? The deck? -Right there!

-There! -Check your backpack, darling.

It's where you put all your stuff.

The one who gets the highest card is the winner.

No, Mireya, this is being extremely cheap.

Good luck. Let's not talk about cheap people. This house has plenty.

No, please. Don't start. It's too early!

You know what? I'm not going. I'll stay.

-Yes, Mom. You should stay. -I can't stand your annoying husband.

You're always fighting.

What happened, Ms. Erecinda?

Will you stay here to walk through the mansion's gardens?

Stop it! Darling, stop stirring up the hornet's nest!

Don't disrespect me in front of our kids.

Whoever goes to the zoo must take a lot of pictures,

and then tell us what happened. You know why?

Because life is full of memories. And memories are?

Pictures.

And those who don't go to the zoo, what will they do?

I said it already. We're going to the beach.

Nice!

-How pretty! -I'm so happy.

It's really beautiful.

Mom, stand over there! I'm going to take a picture.

Forget about the picture. We're late to cook our sancocho.

Bring the corn. We'll start to remove it from the cob.

Later. I want to take some pictures with all of this.

Did you bring soap and shampoo, honey?

Yes, darling. But you know what? I forgot the salt.

Oh, boy!

What a serious problem. Look, there's water all around!

Look, Dad.

The sign says: "No alcohol, no beach fires, and no loud music."

All right, baby.

Listen! Do I speak a different language? Why don't you understand?

You can't drink alcohol,

start a fire, or play music.

So? How am I going to cook this sancocho?

Let's just ignore that. You know what?

That's just American nonsense to give tourists a hard time!

Where's the guard? Where are the snitches?

Let's go! Let's just go!

You insist on doing what you do by the pool

-in Sasaima. -Stop being so annoying!

You're at the beach! Why are you complaining?

My friend, want a sip? Go ahead!

Go ahead!

Cover yourself, honey.

It's a nice view, isn't it?

Darling, I'm starving to death.

Are you tipsy?

No, just a bit... I feel good.

-Come here, honey. -No, darling.

Let's dance for a while. Let's teach these Gringos what good partying is.

No, no, darling. The plantain is too hard.

-That's what I mean. Come on. -Stop!

Stop it! Move!

I'll have to ask an American to dance with me.

Alberto de Jesús!

If you do it, you won't sleep with me tonight.

What?

Unbelievable.

Honey, look...

-This is all yours. -Stop it!

Oh, my God.

Yes or no?

Why did you throw it so far?

-Dad... -I can't run.

The Frisbee got close to those buoys.

Why the drama?

There's a "No swimming" sign, Dad. You can't swim there. It's dangerous.

See?

Just ignore it. Ignore it.

No, sir. What if the other side is full of sharks?

You watch too many movies, honey.

Let me finish brushing my teeth... and I'll go.

Why did you do that?

I'll get your Frisbee back.

Pay attention. I'll swim as if I were in the Sumapaz River.

See?

-It was your fault. -Why do you hit me, Mom?

Why did you wear that watch? It's going to get steamed up.

It's waterproof, Mom. It's the first thing I thought about when I bought it.

What do you mean by "waterproof"?

Hello, chick!

Come here, would you like some peanuts?

Do it for Daddy.

Oh, almost.

The last one, chick. The last one.

Go ahead, chick. It's the last one. Open up!

Open up! Chick!

I told him, baby.

I told him not to go that far. But you know your Dad.

And when he's drunk...

But you've told me that nothing happens to drunks.

Yes, honey. But what if a shark ate him?

Mom, don't say that!

What if a buoyage sucked him up?

A what?

A buoyage. Didn't you say that's how they're called?

Those are buoys, Mom!

Why don't we pray?

I fooled all of you!

See? I'm not afraid of still waters.

I was baptized in the Magdalena River.

Alberto!

What did I do?

Alberto!

Alberto, don't run! It's worse!

We demand the presence of the Colombian consul

in Miami, Florida, U.S.!

Dad, please shut up! You'll make things worse. I beg you, please!

Why, baby? We have rights and we have to demand them.

Have you ever seen a Colombian who remains silent before injustice?

Injustice?

What injustice, Dad?

The sign on the beach said that drinking wasn't allowed, and you drank like a fish!

It said that music wasn't allowed, and you turned it up!

It said that you couldn't swim beyond limits,

and that's where you went! You made us believed you drowned!

You scared Mom and I to death!

Is this an injustice?

Willi knows about justice. Now I understand why he is like that.

So, according to you, I'm a criminal.

Do you think the same? Won't you stand up for me?

What do you want me to say?

Our daughter is right!

My own relatives turned their back on me.

I demand the presence

-of the Colombian consul... -You guys will ruin this country.

Walk, walk!

Oh, son.

-Come on. -What happened?

Go in.

Go in!

What happened? What happened, son?

-What happened? -Ask the kid.

What happened?

You can't go. I have to open a file.

You have to sign some paperwork, and then you can go.

Let me tell you something. I don't know how things work in your country,

but here in the United States,

laws were made to be followed.

-In Colombia, too. What do you think? -Don't shout at me!

No, sir. I just have to speak loud.

We also have laws in Colombia and we respect them.

Put that into practice next time!

Yeah! Breaking the laws at a beach as a joke

can bring legal consequences! Keep that in mind.

What the kid did at the zoo is serious! You hear me?

What did he do?

He's responsible for the death of an endangered parrot.

William.

You're always doing something wrong!

-What happened? -Just say it!

The chick wanted to kill itself.

What?

The chick wanted to kill itself.

-My dad just arrived, wait. -From 7:30 a.m.

You've been locked in the bathroom for 14 minutes, get out now!

So? How long is that?

Okay.

You can't imagine what my family and I have been through. Karma exists, I swear.

Well, all right. I'll call you later because my minutes are...

What are you doing down there?

I lost an earring... but I found it.

Seven thirty!

This one's for Mabel.

This one's for William.

-Take one out, honey. -This card's for me.

I won. An ace!

-Oh, Mom. -Luck of the devil.

What? How did I do?

Not good.

You have to be punctual. Either be here at 7:30 sharp, or don't.

My mother got the ace and she's doing

a yacht cruise along the bay to see the homes of the celebrities.

I'll take a lot of pictures to bother someone

who I don't want to mention, someone I'm looking at.

Daddy, why did you do the contest without me?

You know it was one of my dreams.

Yes, baby, but the laws are to be followed by everybody. You have to be punctual.

Where are the others going?

You should stay here because of what you did yesterday.

Thanks to your mom, you're going out with us.

Stop it, Dad, control your chakras. Count to ten, will you?

One, two...? Ready?

So, what are we doing?

Yes, honey. What are we doing?

-Today? -Yes.

Today...

Today we're visiting Carlos Vives and compadre Egidio.

What?

Can you imagine Carlos Vives' joy when he sees others Colombians at his house?

What?

-What happened, Gustavito? -What's wrong with him?

Excuse me, excuse me.

I'm sorry, ma'am. Are you okay?

Yes, yes.

I'm sorry.

I'm doing fine, thanks.

You look pale.

It's because I'm excited.

I haven't been in Miami in a long time.

Now that I'm here...

Are you saying that Carlos Vives is not home?

-Nor compadre Egidio? -That's right.

I hope you're not lying. If you're lying

and Carlitos finds out that we were here but you didn't open,

you'll get in serious trouble.

You don't know who I am!

Get that device and tell Carlos Vives that the Rubio Cucalón family is here.

We're not leaving until he comes out.

-Do you want to get fired? -Stop it, honey.

Don't play hard, because I play hard, too!

Stop it!

Here, ma'am, this will be good for you.

It's water, lemon and a bit of pepper. It's great for seasickness.

May the Lord repay you.

I suppose you're traveling alone.

On this boat, I am.

How lucky, there's two of us now.

Are you Colombian?

A proud one.

Horacio Castillejo, nice to meet you.

Erecinda Fuertes, widow of Cucalón, at your service.

Do you feel better now?

Much better, thank you.

You're not going to do anything? All right! You know what we'll do?

We're going to the bridge to sing the Colombian anthem.

Once Carlitos listens to us singing,

he'll come out and you'll get in trouble!

That's when you'll ask for my help! Did you hear me?

Don't...

You got my husband mad! Moron!

Sorry!

It's over, honey.

Look, that is Carlos Vives' house here in Miami.

So pretty! It looks very fresh.

Every time I've been here, I've wanted to meet him.

People do anything

to meet celebrities, right?

Carlos Vives!

Yes. People do all sorts of crazy things.

Look at them.

Let me tell you... Can I talk to you in a familiar way?

Of course, we haven't argued yet.

I swear I've seen worse things.

Really? Do you take this tour often?

Honestly...

since I became a widower, I travel alone frequently everywhere.

But I always have the distant hope of finding a soul mate,

who brings light back to my life.

No, honey. The house is too far, he can't hear us.

He won't come out.

But we'll keep on trying. We won't leave until Carlos comes out.

-What? -Yes.

-Are you serious? -Yes.

-Wasn't that enough? -No.

We sang the national anthem, we whistled, we called him and nothing.

I feel a burning bunion pain, and it's sizzling hot!

-You know what we're doing? -What?

We're going to sing "La Gota Fría." That'll melt his heart, you'll see.

Dad, the anthem was enough.

Mom, why did you feed me? Why didn't you let me die

when I was little?

Listen to this. It was 1992, and there was a band called La Provincia,

where Carlos Vives sang.

That year they released Escalona's hits, and he sang "La Gota Fría,"

which made him famous around the world. See?

From that moment on,

he's been making tons of money. That's using your talent properly.

-Do something. -What do you want me to do?

Let's see how things are, let's talk to these people.

What do you want?

Will you announce me? I want to see Carlos Vives or compadre Egidio.

Look! The authorities are here!

Just look at that.

Did you think that calling the cops on us would make us run away? No, sir!

I'm from Sasaima!

No, no, no. Unbelievable! Mr. Cucalón, in trouble again?

Imagine. I came to say hi to a compatriot, and these people won't announce me!

What do you think?

Calm down, calm down! I wasn't making any scandal.

The tables are turned!

The man here said that you shouted at him.

I was just singing the National anthem. Is that forbidden, too?

You can't, sir, this is a residential area.

No, you can't eat, or have some chorro here.

What's that?

Drinking liquor.

No music on the beach, even though it's public.

No swimming on the sea, when you have plenty of it.

No singing on the streets... No, sir!

This was supposed to be a country of freedom.

I came to spend my dollars here, and you treat me as a second-class citizen.

It's Mr. Carlos Vives.

-What? -Carlitos Vives?

-See? See? -Talk to him.

If you allow me, officer.

Hello?

-Yes! -Hey, my friend!

Alberto de Jesús Rubio.

From the Rubio Cucalón family, from Sasaima.

We're on vacation here in Miami, Florida, United States.

We're in front of your house, my man!

Come out! Come out to the window!

What?

No... so, we just crossed each other.

Oh, he's out.

It's so sad.

No, I don't think we're coming back in a long time.

Hey, say hi to Claudia Elena, say hi to the children.

Wait, I'll put my daughter through.

Carlos Vives, I love you! I'm your fan!

Hi, Charlie!

Don't speak English!

Stop acting like a fool.

Hello? Carlitos? Hello?

He ran out of credit.

-Hey! -What?

He sends his regards. But he's in Santa Marta and can't come for a month.

You'll get in trouble with him.

He feels insulted because you were very rude to us.

He'll kick your butt all the way to Faca.

-Just so you know. I told you. -Take that!

Officer, let's do something.

Can you get us a cop to come with us and tell us what we can, and can't do?

We're tired of seeing you chasing us all the time.

Think about it.

Mom! For God's sake, speak!

-Mom, what happened? Were you robbed? -Oh, Mom!

Yes! Who, Mom? Where? Breathe!

A Colombian on the yacht.

Sure? No way! A Colombian?

Wait, wait. What did he take?

My money...

The worst thing!

...my camera...

-The camera? -Yes.

...my cell phone, and my illusions.

Son, are the passports there? Please check.

If you see a Colombian in Miami, run.

Don't be like that, Gustavo, don't be so hard on us.

A bad apple doesn't make all Colombians thieves.

Blondie, hasn't the same happened to us with Colombians?

With all due respect. It depends on who you're involved with.

You don't get involved, you need to be careful.

No.

My mother is really sad, honey.

I'm sorry for Ms. Erecinda. I'm just saying.

It's a shame she lost the camera.

Son, that doesn't matter. Pictures can be taken with a cell phone.

Honey, what if we take her to eat out?

She enjoys eating, I'm sure she'll feel better.

I'm dying for a bandeja paisa.

Oh, yes. Those beans with chorizo.

I know, I know.

There's a restaurant called La Nostalgia Colombiana.

-I can find out where it is. -Let's go.

We have no money, darling.

We can ask for an egg instead of the main ingredient.

That way all of us can eat. I'll do anything

to help my mother-in-law overcome her sadness.

Are you sure this isn't in pesos?

Impossible, Dad, we're in Miami.

The exchange rate is 3000 pesos?

No, macroeconomics is screwing us. Oil issues.

But this is a Colombian restaurant.

They accept pesos here. For the Rubio Cucalón family,

every penny earned...

-Must be respected. -Must be respected.

-Hello. -How are you?

The boy chews loudly and the girl swallows without chewing.

Eat, darling!

What a terrible thing.

This way.

What's wrong, honey?

Honey, what did you see? What is it?

Honey!

Hey! It's like he saw Satan himself. What is it?

Varguitas.

Varguitas!

Don't you remember me? Alberto de Jesús Rubio,

from Sasaima.

Don't you remember?

Rubio, from Sasaima?

-Yes, Varguitas! -What's up, Canchilas?

-You remembered! -Sure!

How elegant, Varguitas!

Thank you, my friend. You look just the same, just as poor.

Hello, Celmira, how are you doing, kids? Vacationing in Miami? It's wonderful.

-Mireya. -Mireya.

-Yes, yes. -Yes.

What's new, Vargas? Your daughter's all grown up.

Daughter?

Come here.

Let me introduce you to my wife.

Your wife, Vargas?

What do you mean? What happened to comadre Yolanda?

Well, comadre Yadira, the thing is...

-Mireya. -Exactly.

Well, here in Miami, things weren't easy for us.

The weather, the mosquitoes... and it was over.

But come join us! Let's have dinner. My treat.

-Yes! Mom... -Come here, young lady.

No, Vargas, we're embarrassed.

Embarrassment is not good at all.

-Let's go! -Let's go, honey.

You can order anything you want. The most expensive dish.

Take your hands out of your pockets

and those legs out of your mind. Understood?

Yes, ma'am.

Let's go.

Deyanira! Come here! Come!

-Mireya. -Yes, exactly.

Listen, Canchilas, talking about abundance,

I've been doing great in this country. I don't want to brag,

but I have plenty of money, I'm full of it.

And I'm in love.

It shows, Varguitas.

-Does it? What about you? -Of course.

-No, sir. -We're tired of each other.

I mean, where are you staying?

At my brother's house.

Yes, it's a bit overcrowded, but it's okay.

Overcrowded?

No, no, no. That's all you had to say.

You can stay at my place tonight. I have a great house.

-Seriously? Thanks! -No.

No.

Thanks, Vargas. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

Why, Urbeida? Why are you so embarrassed?

-Mireya! -Mireya!

Exactly, exactly.

Let me do it for Canchilas.

We're almost like brothers. I really love this fool.

Gustavo, thanks for your hospitality.

We don't want to make you uncomfortable, and your house is too small.

Instead, Varguitas has a mansion.

Mother, are you sure you don't want to come?

There's plenty of space over there.

No, darling. I don't want to. I don't want to bother people who aren't family.

I didn't know that about you.

Anyway, we hope to see you there. They do have an Olympic pool.

Too many goodbyes, do you really want to leave?

-Bye, mother-in-law. -No, stop it.

You know what?

Some people here can actually achieve the American dream.

-Enough, honey. -I'll see you there.

-Bye, honey. -Oh, queen. Allow me.

All right, Mom.

I'll gladly help you. We're going to your palace.

Careful with your leg. You look great in that color.

Standing on your tiptoes?

What's wrong? Bye!

-Goodbye, Lupita. Bye! -Goodbye, Lupita. Take care of Gus.

-Get in! -God bless you.

Goodbye...

All right, Varguitas, any time.

Wake up!

With all due respect,

is she a natural blond, or a fake?

To be honest, Canchilas...

She's a fake blond, but I don't care.

No, she's very pretty.

I feel I experienced this moment before.

That's a déjà vu, a déjà vu.

No, my friend, it's a bad memory.

Varguitas, tell me the truth. We're close friends.

Sure.

Did you win the lottery? Please say yes.

Almost. When I arrived here, I got involved

in the construction business. And then... I invested in an apartment.

Then... on a house.

Then... a building, a mall,

and then I became a millionaire.

That's when you married the blond girl.

Sweetie and I aren't married.

But we live together.

Varguitas, what happened to Yolanda?

Let's not talk about that.

No problem.

-Don't tell me anything. -Yes, yes! Don't worry.

I don't mind. Yolanda...

was a good woman, but...

she was a hog beast.

No, no, no. Why stay with a monster,

if I can have my sweetie pie?

You should do it, too.

Come to live in the United States.

Maybe you can get a blondie like mine. What do you think?

No, my man! I won't.

I won't. First of all,

Mireyita is the mother of my children. I respect her and I love her.

Second, in my opinion,

she's the prettiest woman there is. Mireya!

Hottie! I'm looking at you!

See? She gets me.

That's why I wouldn't change her for the world.

Wow.

Yes, yes. Anyway, you know what?

Canchilas, keep in mind what I told you. Think about it.

Come to the U.S., I need tough people to work.

I'm offering you the opportunity to come and work with me.

I'm your compadre. A compatriot. A brother.

Go ahead! Come on!

Baby, hello. I'm sorry for not writing or calling before. I didn't have time.

Tomorrow?

No. You just caught me off-guard. I didn't think it would be so soon.

I told you it was okay already. Stop stressing me out.

Please tell me how I can get there. I didn't bring my driver's license.

All right.

No, no. It's okay. I'll be there.

Honey, do you see?

Did you clean your glasses well?

These Gringos are tough. They even built bridges over the sea!

We only have Puente Aranda back there.

Stop drooling.

Listen, people, you came to Miami and you're not going to the parks?

That would be a sin. Remember, sweetie?

Yes, I do.

Do you remember the water park? That one is awesome.

-Let's go, let's go. -No, Varguitas, those tickets

cost an arm and a leg. Right, honey?

Right, we can't afford it.

What's wrong, my friend?

Don't say that! I'm your rich friend!

Comadre, don't say you're embarrassed. Okay?

You're too nice.

I hang my head in shame.

I'll hang you from something else.

Why are you laughing?

Who would have thought that Williamcito would be

the first Rubio Cucalón to go down the slide here

-in Miami, Florida, United States? -Mom, he's trying to say something.

Yes, baby? Honey, did you teach him how to swim?

I gave him money to take lessons at the institute.

Which one?

Which one? Madison Institute. That's all I could afford.

-Where he learned English? -Where he learned English?

Does he have to swim?

-Oh, son! -Baby!

Oh, son!

Baby!

It's okay, son. It's okay.

It's all over. It's over, my baby.

-Spit it, spit it. -Oh, my!

How many fingers do you see?

Say it!

Very good. Very good, son.

So, you learned how to swim at the Madison Institute?

You didn't learn English or how to swim.

If you continue like this, you'll waste your whole life.

No, Dad! Look at those long lines. I want to ride the attraction now.

What can we do, baby? What can we do?

I'm getting something.

Stop, honey. If you couldn't go to the bathroom, just use the slide.

Don't worry, Mabelcita.

-Colombians don't make a line. -What?

Wait a minute, compadre. We're not cutting in line, no, sir.

So? Of course. These Gringos are stupid. Go, baby, do what I told you.

Like I taught you.

Give me your hand, we're going in. We are going in.

Hey, hottie! Hottie! Wait in line, baby!

Your loss! Sorry for you!

My loss? I'll make you lose more.

What did you say?

Why are you treating my wife like that?

What do you mean? Didn't you see she's cutting in line?

Cutting in line? She's been there for a while!

Can you believe this guy?

Listen, my man. I've been waiting here for three hours.

I won't allow any fool to cut in line.

-How did you call her? -Fool!

-Fool! -Hold this, I'll take care of him.

You know what?

What do you want?

Just say it...

I'm mad at you! Look at that black eye. You're a piece of work!

-Enough. -Why would you fight with those men? Look.

Oh, God, that black eye! Is it a good example for our kids? No.

Family has to be respected. I wasn't leaving Varguitas alone.

What? It was his fault! Along with that slut he hangs out with.

She always gets in trouble. They started it.

You know what, honey? Yes, you're right.

Of course.

I wanted to talk to you about something else.

What?

I was thinking...

What if we lived here in Miami, Florida, United States?

What if we stayed?

-Really? -Really.

Really?

Just like that? Without any documents?

Varguitas has a friend who can get them for us.

You know that I don't trust that man, darling.

Why don't you like Varguitas? He's doing great.

Look at those diamond curtains.

Look at those speakers for listening to vallenato.

-He's got lots of money. He's doing great! -Yes. Of course.

Wrongfully acquired wealth, honey. Wrongfully acquired wealth.

That's defamation, we don't know that.

Really? Honey, I remember who Vargas was in Colombia.

He was a lazy drunk who wandered around the streets.

Yes.

-But things worked out well for him. -Right.

As Maturana says...

Honey, what if things work out for us, too?

Darling, that scares me, honestly. The kids, everything...

Let me convince you.

There are cameras here, I saw them.

You can't just take me like that! No, sir!

No, no, no! You won't get me on a boat!

No, no, no. Damn! I can't believe it!

You again?

Hello, officer! Finally a familiar face! It's nice to see you.

Listen, officer, I'm very scared.

Please, tell me what happened!

This time you're in serious trouble.

Mr. Heriberto Vargas, your friend...

No, that man isn't our friend.

Well, that man is charged for collecting illegal money,

money laundering, and conspiracy to commit a crime.

Didn't I tell you? He looked like a thief.

-Varguitas? No way! Oh, my God! -Yes.

Officer, what you mentioned... What was it called?

-Collecting illegal money. -Yes.

-Is that the same as a pyramid? -Exactly.

That's what you want us to do in Miami?

And Ms. Laura Jaramillo, a.k.a. Lauren,

is linked to the Japanese Yakuza.

She surely looks like someone who likes trouble.

-Who? -The Japanese Yakuza.

No, I don't know her, I'm sorry.

No, sir, it's the Japanese mafia.

Its headquarters and recruitment

operations are based here in Miami. They're involved with human trafficking.

Imagine that. He takes young girls and makes them do nasty things here.

We're going to the station right now.

Do you know what, officer? You can do anything!

I'm tired of this situation!

-Let's go! -Do anything you want with me!

-Pardon me? -Oh, Mom!

What were you saying?

What? Do you want to be like that slut?

-That's just... -Shut up!

You should be embarrassed.

Police.

You can go.

-Really, Sánchez? -Yes.

We were investigating Vargas, he doesn't have a criminal record, so, you can go.

I don't ever want to see you.

Let me tell you something, my friend.

Stay out of trouble. Okay?

I'm begging you. I don't ever want to see you again.

Yes, sir.

Can I have the lid back?

Bye! Sorry for everything.

You're gonna get us tased.

So, I ask:

"Why did we come to Miami, Florida, United States?" Answer, young people.

-To be with Uncle Gus. -To be with Uncle Gus.

To be with Uncle Gus. As a family.

So, I ask again:

"What are we doing at Vargas' place then?"

-Nothing. -Nothing.

Exactly! He may have a large luxury house,

but you know what?

We're missing this, we need to be close.

Don't be a liar, Mr. Rubio.

Seriously, Ms. Erecinda.

Family is family, blood is thicker than water.

Aren't you back because your friend Vargas

is in jail? He's a con man.

Brother, we saw the news.

We saw how your friend Vargas had a clash with police.

Varguitas?

Unbelievable!

-Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. -Alberto, stop it!

No more nonsense!

Hello, blondie.

What's up, sister-in-law?

Guadalupita...

can we stay here again?

I'll do the dishes.

My daughter.

My daughter.

Honey...

Honey...

Honey!

Officer, I'm innocent!

-Honey! -What's up?

Our daughter...

What happened to our daughter?

She isn't anywhere. Our girl's gone!

What? Mabelita?

What does it say?

It asks us not to look for her. She doesn't want to come back.

She says she'll be fine, and she'll get in touch as soon as she can.

She'll be fine? With who? Where?

That's the thing, Mother.

She didn't say.

Please, Lord, get my daughter back!

Don't worry, Mireya.

Don't worry, Mireya. Don't worry.

We'll call the police, the DEA, the NASA...

Anyone, honey. She'll turn up no matter what.

I have Mabel's Facebook password.

Oh, darling!

Lord of glory,

blessed heavenly Father!

Really?

The what, son?

Her Facebook password.

Oh, darling!

Well done!

What does it say?

There's a conversation about Miami

and an appointment at Collins Ave.

Yes, it's Collins Avenue. That street is really close.

Let's go!

-It's half an hour away. -Let me borrow a pen.

I have some pens here. If you need to write something down.

Where's my shirt, dear?

Back there, back there.

Honey!

-What? -Come here.

-What happened? -Come.

Read this.

"Protocol models."

With Japanese people?

Lorena, when is the yacht coming with all the people and the party?

Baby, it won't take long. They'll be here soon.

-Baby... -What?

Just between you and me, don't you think that these people are acting strange?

No.

Why strange? Just relax.

They don't look like successful business people.

Remember I told you I had worked

with some business people in Bogotá? They were very different.

Well, they're different because they're Japanese.

You know that Asian people look alike.

-Do you think so? -I do.

All right. This is very itchy.

-I have never worn extensions before. -Don't scratch.

What's the yacht party like? Tell me.

-You'll love it. -What?

There are huge poles where you can dance. You'll like it, I know.

Poles? I don't understand.

Mabel!

I don't...

I don't know what she's doing here. Mabel!

Mabelita!

Mabel, dear!

-Lore... -What happened?

You know that I don't like annoying people. But this looks really strange.

Why are you so impatient? What's gotten into you?

I'm not impatient. But there's no yacht, music, people,

businessmen, or anything.

We've been sitting here for two hours and they haven't even given us some water.

Stop it.

Are you getting cold feet? After calling me?

I'm not getting cold feet.

Again, honey!

The more I learn about the Japanese, the less I understand them.

Just look at them. There's no yacht, businessmen, or anything, Lorena.

Lore, look! Isn't that the police?

There she is! There she is!

Lorena, you're going to kill me! That's my dad.

There!

This is the Police Department! Come out, now!

Don't push me!

Hey!

You're pulling my hair! Easy! Easy!

Mom! Dad!

Shut up!

Lorena, what mess did you get us into?

It's your dad's fault!

He is the stupid one who got us into this!

My dad is not stupid!

He is trying to help us!

Surrender! There's no way out!

-Did you see, Lorena? -Your stupid dad got us involved in this.

Surrender!

What are they saying?

If we don't leave, they'll shoot Mabel and her body will be thrown to the crocodiles.

-What? -What?

How do you know that?

I didn't learn English, I learned Japanese.

What? Why?

I want to study electronics in Tokyo.

That doesn't matter now! Translate.

Tell them what I told you!

-What? -No.

No.

-What? -What?

They're going to kill her and throw her body.

Or the other way around, I didn't get it clearly.

Keep him busy. I'll go through the back entrance.

No, no, are you crazy?

I'd be crazy if I allowed them to hurt her.

This is full of crocodiles!

I was raised in the Magdalena, surrounded by alligators.

-Honey, your blessing! -My blessing, darling.

May God bless you.

You'll take full responsibility for this.

What do you think?

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! Jesus, Jesus!

Darling, sink its mouth!

Sink it!

Tell them that if they release the girls, we'll let them go.

-I said that some time ago! -What?

Thank you, Jesus.

-Great! -Awesome, Dad!

Surrender! Surrender!

Great, darling!

-Darling! -He's coming for you!

Get some air! Go get the girl!

Go, Dad!

Quick!

Dad!

Oh, Dad!

Oh, Dad! You saved us, Dad!

I don't...

I don't understand. I can't figure out why,

but the government and the city of Miami are not only thankful to you, Mr. Rubio...

-Not only? -No.

We had been trying to catch this group

of pimps and thanks to your help and courage, we were able to take it down.

So? Is there a reward, like in cowboy movies?

Some money would be nice.

There's something better than that.

Unbelievably, Miami wants you to live here and work as a civilian policeman.

We would be in charge of everything. I will personally oversee the paperwork,

get a good university

and school for your children,

and we would negotiate a salary so that you can have a decent life.

What do you think?

Good!

Look at that picture. My brother-in-law next to the mayor.

I have to admit that this time he did his best.

He did his best. He was unbelievable.

Imagine, the mayor of Miami

gave him a huge plaque in a ceremony.

-Do you want to know what he said? -What?

That he was going to bring Carlos Vives to sing,

but Carlos was giving a concert in Santa Marta!

It doesn't matter. What you did was wonderful. Right, honey?

-Yes. -You even have a picture with the mayor.

But we haven't told you the best part. We're going to live here like kings!

We'll have a convertible like the one you had.

-But a real one. -But a real one.

Did they tell you where in the city you're going to settle?

No, Gus, but I guess it'll be on Miami Beach.

-No? -That's great!

Awesome! Brother-in-law,

with all due respect, let's forget about the past.

Since you're an important man in this city,

-get me a job! -Yes.

You're going to need an assistant, and I know the city like nobody else.

Of course, of course.

Honey, what do you say?

Don't leave me hanging.

I don't think that we'll stay in Miami, Florida, United States.

What? What are you saying?

It's a nice city and a nice country.

The mayor and the police were very polite, trying to make us part of this society.

But I'm Colombian, and Colombians must live in Colombia, right?

Rubio, this country is full of opportunities.

Ms. Erecinda,

people shouldn't leave to find a country full of opportunities.

We have to work hard in our country,

so that it also becomes a land of opportunities.

Imagine if all Colombians who have the chance left the country.

Who would be left?

For God's sake, think about your children.

I'm thinking about them.

Now, if my kids want to stay here,

they can do it. We'll support you, right, honey?

But in my case, I'm going back to my country.

You may have everything here.

But we don't need much, right, darling?

To me...

Colombia is the best place to live in the world.

Honey, you know something?

It is for me, too.

I'm going back to Colombia with you.

And me.

Oh, no.

No, I want to stay in Miami.

Good! Good!

Oh, no! I was lying!

Why did you say that?

No way!

My heart almost stopped.

Did you believe it? Did you?

Oh, my God!

The alligator wanted to take my shirt off. It was fighting aggressively.

I was wondering if someone was hitting my daughter. I lifted it

and hit it...

The mayor even wanted me to stay

as a civilian policeman in Miami, Florida, United States.

Why didn't you stay?

I thought about it.

But I said, "This is my thing."

I'm Colombian, my friend.

Sure, and you're doing great here.

Stop talking gibberish.

Gibberish.

Let's have some soup.

If you don't believe me, why did you ask?

I don't believe you, I don't.

You don't believe me either, compadre?

Of course I do.

Tell me, is that place as pretty as you said?

Well, it's really nice.

It's very organized. People throw trash, but it's always clean everywhere.

But let me confess something, compadre.

I like Sasaima better.

Seriously?

I swear to God.