Original subtitles

room service to send us up some refreshments oh that would be nice

hello john yeah

it's me two bottles of the usual please

Oh, yeah, great.

What's the score?

6 -0.

6 -0. 6 -0.

But... But, I love... Which team?

because somebody stole the boat.

They say our socialist government is like a beacon in a shining bright.

I say it's more like a fiddle. It's held by the left, but it's played by the

right.

How hard is the president? He loves poor people. That's why he has saved so

many. But you could spend all day in the bar with him. You wouldn't know that he

has any.

But he has married a beautiful wife with a figure too lovely to hide.

And now we put her on our post.

We all licked the wrong side.

Now the leader of the opposition escaped from prison by digging a tunnel.

He tried to blow up the president's luxury liner, but he burnt his mouth on

funnel. So to keep him quietly president, gave him the best apartment

It's about the bank, and now his assets over ten million pounds.

Don't worry, you're pretty in the head. Just drink a bottle of tequila before

you go to bed.

You'll be too drunk to notice them for the first half of the night.

And for the second half, those musky dogs will be too drunk to bite.

So come to Costa Coco, where girls buy Tupperware brands with their cats.

They say they don't elevate and they don't separate, but they keep what

got nice and fresh.

And so it is that when there's a storm, you will go to any old port. Why don't

you come to golf, sir? Go, go, because it's the last resort.

In a little weather hut, there lived a weather bear.

They'd like to be together, but life is so unfair.

For though the boy adores the girl, they have never met.

Cos she comes out when the sun shines, he comes out when it's wet.

She tends her flowers in... the sunshine, but goes back in again.

When air the clouds are overcast, and there's a hint of rain, that is when the

boy comes out, when the rain comes pouring down.

But for him, that's the umbrella.

again the sun comes out it was time that he was gone but the rain continued

falling although the sun still shone as they watched a beautiful sun shower the

first they'd ever seen the weather boy and weather girl went into their routine

And there they stayed together through wind and rain and hail.

They struggled to release themselves, but was to no avail.

They thus remained through the wind and through winter's bitter chill.

Through sleep and snow and for all I know, they remained there still.

Yeah, what's that?

Could you possibly direct me to the post office? The post office, yeah. You go

down there, you come to a little kid throwing a switchblade at the telegraph

pole. Turn right, and you'll come to a tart in red with great big knockers

outside a pub.

Now then, keep straight on till you come to the sex shop, then turn left, and

it's opposite the porno cinema. You can't miss it.

Oh,

give me some of that!

What's that?

My son.

Why don't you turn your back on this wicked life?

Give up your evil ways, abandon all these pleasures of the flesh.

What? Start a new life.

Follow me, and I will lead you into the kingdom of heaven.

The kingdom of heaven?

You don't even know where to bleed and post, obviously!

was the ladies.

Even as a wee laddie, he loved them passionately.

They, alas, did not reciprocate.

It was all to no avail.

And then one day, into his life, came Allison.

It was all too much for poor old Jamie.

And so, Alison remained faithful to her husband.

After all, better an old husband than a lover who's a nervous wreck.

Members of the jury, you've heard counsel for prosecution and defense.

And you have all read Arnold Plinger's book, The Scarlet Woman.

If you find it liable to corrupt and deprave, then you must bring in a

of guilty.

If you do not find it liable to corrupt or deprave, then you will bring in a

verdict of not guilty.

How do you find?

We find the defendant guilty, my lad.

Is that the verdict of you all?

No, no!

Country Brigade, overwork and underpaid. Twenty -seven to attend.

No wonder half of us are rich.

Killers fighting men are we. Who longs to kill the enemy?

Could you kill a man, Henri?

I suppose I could, eventually.

We have been fighting for...

Say, where could we go?

Auntie Lil runs a restaurant at Sidesville.

Everyone loves Lily's pasta.

If you're in a hurry, she'll make you a curry and after.

I should have to run a little faster.

But I've heard that men of treachery go there in search of lechery.

Kitting the girls and drinking wine some night till the last night.

I'm on guard till eleven.

But I'm on duty.

I could not leave my post, you see.

No matter what you promise me.

Love will someday take you by the hand And lead you off into a

wonderland

I've heard that there's a room upstairs.

where girls act like they're on their honeymoon.

There are two single babes in there.

They are located inside of the room. The carpet in between is

worn and torn and threadbare, held there by one hand.

They don't know it's cause of the quick dash across or the

slow...

That's why people fight.

That blood there, it killed my brother Joe.

Ten weeks ago, he killed poor Joe.

Was he several or in Malika?

No, he was behind the ball.

When he fell off the wall and... It killed my brother.

shine up above.

I live for Carmen and Vern.

Dividing ruby limbs and silken hair.

I turn my heart to you where?

Carmen, oh!

Carmen, how can you grow up with another man when I adore you so?

Yes, I adore you and I implore you to stay with me. and I will bring you

joy forevermore.

Every day and every night I pray that if you go away, you will come

back.

It's mine. It's mine.

It's mine.

Come, come, come, come, come.

Look, I went and I bought that hat. So it's mine, isn't it?

You're right.

But I lent him the money.

So it's mine, isn't it?

You're right.

Hang on, hang on. I said I went and bought the hat. You said I'm right.

And you say you lent me the money. You say he's right.

They like beer and football and smoking.

Here, guess what, then? Your eight draws have come up. You're joking!

Excuse me. Do you drink?

Certainly not. Good.

any other men in your life?

Oh, no, darling. Only you.

What? No one at all?

No.

Not even one?

Not even one.

Thank you,

Paul.

Shall we take a walk to the boat?