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1
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:16,049
♪ There's a time for love
And a time for livin' ♪
2
00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:18,518
♪ Take a chance
And face the wind ♪
3
00:00:18,551 --> 00:00:22,155
♪ An open road and
A road that's hidden ♪
4
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:25,091
♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪
5
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:27,660
♪ There were times ♪
6
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:30,497
♪ I lost a dream or two ♪
7
00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:33,333
♪ Found the trail ♪
8
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:37,170
♪ And at the end was you ♪
9
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:39,706
♪ There's a path you take
And a path not taken ♪
10
00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:42,375
♪ The choice is
Up to you, my friend ♪
11
00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:45,345
♪ Nights are long
But you might awaken ♪
12
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,180
♪ To a brand-new life ♪
13
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:48,715
♪ Brand-new life ♪
14
00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:53,186
♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪
15
00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:02,796
[HUMMING]
16
00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:05,065
All right. All right.
17
00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:07,700
Dr. Bower, we're
ready for the heart.
18
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,069
Ooh, boy.
19
00:01:09,102 --> 00:01:11,237
Oh, Jonathan,
this isn't a heart.
20
00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:12,772
This is a spleen,
21
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,442
but he'll never
know the difference.
22
00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:18,478
If you stretched
your intestines
from end to end,
23
00:01:18,511 --> 00:01:20,713
they reach 25 feet.
24
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:22,615
When I'm
lost in the woods,
25
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:25,285
I'll leave a trail.
26
00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:26,753
That's disgusting.
27
00:01:26,786 --> 00:01:28,555
You're my kind of guy.
28
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,056
Let me have that.
29
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,724
I can't believe Bonnie.
30
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,660
She is so irresponsible.
31
00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:36,696
We're supposed to be
at the Molly Ringwald
film festival,
32
00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:38,331
and she flaked on me.
33
00:01:38,364 --> 00:01:39,666
And for what?
34
00:01:39,699 --> 00:01:41,768
Uh, uh, a date?
35
00:01:41,801 --> 00:01:44,771
No. Some dumb
college prep course.
36
00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:46,539
Ooh, college prep.
37
00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:48,842
Some people have
no priorities.
38
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:51,578
Bonnie's taking
a college prep course?
39
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:54,414
Why aren't you taking
a college prep course?
40
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,449
College is
three years away.
41
00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:58,751
Pretty in Pink
starts in 20 minutes.
42
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,221
You're a sophomore now.
43
00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:04,090
You're going to be taking
your college boards soon.
44
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,326
You should be thinking
about this stuff.
45
00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:09,729
I don't even think
I want to go to college.
46
00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:12,532
What? You don't want
to go to college?
47
00:02:12,565 --> 00:02:14,100
What, are you kidding?
48
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,602
That's insane.
It's crazy.
49
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,770
This is the blackest
day in my--
50
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,507
Could we talk
about this?
51
00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:24,244
There's more
than one way
to get an education.
52
00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:27,814
Maybe Jesse and I
will bum around Europe
a couple years.
53
00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:30,150
Oh, bumming.
That's good.
54
00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:31,251
When you're
finished with that,
55
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:32,785
you can come back
56
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,722
and start your career
as a bag lady.
57
00:02:35,755 --> 00:02:37,690
Who's to say a bag lady
58
00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,726
hasn't learned
from her experiences
59
00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:42,295
and graduated
from the school of life?
60
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,063
I'm to say.
61
00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:46,299
Oh. Oh.
62
00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:48,234
Well, don't you think
there are other options?
63
00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:50,236
Yeah, college or death.
64
00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:53,239
Hey, look,
the day you were born,
65
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:56,075
that's the day
I bought the frame
66
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:57,610
for your college diploma.
67
00:02:57,644 --> 00:03:01,181
You'll be the first
Micelli to go to college.
68
00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:05,151
I'll be the first Micelli
to work to pay for it.
69
00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:11,024
MONA:
Right this way, please.
70
00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:12,559
As you can see,
71
00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:15,528
this is a typical Ridgemont
College classroom.
72
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,497
Ample sunlight,
73
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,299
good use of space,
74
00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:23,203
and an unobstructed view
of the men's gym.
75
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:28,641
Where are you going?
Get over there.
76
00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:30,243
The idea of this trip
77
00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:32,712
is to get Samantha interested
in higher education.
78
00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:34,447
All right. All right.
79
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,083
Sam, right
in this very classroom,
80
00:03:37,116 --> 00:03:39,052
I studied Plato,
Aristotle, Spinoza,
81
00:03:39,085 --> 00:03:41,387
all the great thinkers.
82
00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:46,125
Grandma, how come
your phone number's
carved on this desk?
83
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:48,494
I also did
some tutoring.
84
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:53,600
Sam, the idea is that
this isn't just a room.
85
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,268
This is a place
86
00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:57,837
where you can be
whatever you want to be.
87
00:03:57,870 --> 00:04:00,039
I want to be
at the Cineplex.
88
00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:03,476
Sam, look at what
you can study:
89
00:04:03,509 --> 00:04:06,045
anthropology, archaeology,
biogenetic engineering.
90
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,715
Ooh, biogenetic
engineering, eh?
91
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:11,684
That has
a nice ring to it.
92
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,353
Picture this.
93
00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:15,021
You're walking down
the hospital corridor.
94
00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:17,056
You're wearing
your white coat.
95
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,524
Everybody's
saying good morning.
96
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:20,059
"Good morning,
Dr. Micelli.
97
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,561
"Isn't that
Samantha Micelli,
98
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:24,264
our new
biogenetic engineer?"
99
00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:25,632
Aw, Dad.
100
00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:27,567
Or you could be
a movie critic, huh?
101
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:32,572
I'm just saying
that college is
a great place to be.
102
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:35,041
How would you know?
You never went.
103
00:04:35,074 --> 00:04:36,609
Don't take my word.
104
00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:38,678
Take it from
people who know:
105
00:04:38,711 --> 00:04:43,116
magna cum laude
and magna cum rowdy.
106
00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:46,052
Girls, she's all yours.
Work her over good.
107
00:04:46,085 --> 00:04:48,554
You won't have
to work me over.
108
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:50,323
I'm going to college.
109
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:53,226
Maybe biogenetics
isn't such a bad idea.
110
00:04:53,259 --> 00:04:55,662
It could help avoid
future mutants.
111
00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:57,597
Jonathan,
why don't we go
112
00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:00,333
and take a look
at the old globe?
113
00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:02,402
I already know
all the countries
114
00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:04,137
and their capitals--
115
00:05:06,539 --> 00:05:10,243
Sam, my four years
in college
116
00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:13,446
were the most glorious
years of my life,
117
00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:16,549
and believe me, I've had
a pretty glorious life.
118
00:05:16,582 --> 00:05:18,451
Sam, come here.
119
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:21,487
You know, when I
first went to college,
120
00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:24,490
I was a shy
little wallflower.
121
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:25,792
But when I graduated,
122
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,460
I was a woman
123
00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:29,796
who knew something
about the past
124
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:32,699
and was excited
about the future.
125
00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:34,367
I was exposed to ideas
126
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,803
I never
even knew existed.
127
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:39,339
And when I walked
up there
128
00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:40,807
and got my diploma,
129
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:44,143
I had such a feeling
of pride.
130
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:47,413
It was more than just
a piece of paper.
131
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:49,382
It was
thousands of years
132
00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:51,084
of history
and knowledge
133
00:05:51,117 --> 00:05:53,519
and teachers
and students all saying,
134
00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:55,088
"Angela Bower,
135
00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:56,656
you're one of us."
136
00:05:58,591 --> 00:06:01,194
That was
beautiful, dear.
137
00:06:01,227 --> 00:06:03,529
So, sweetheart,
what do you think
about college?
138
00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:04,697
TONY:
I'm going!
139
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:07,533
What did you say?
140
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:09,035
I'm going to college.
141
00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:11,571
Tony Micelli
is going to be
one of them.
142
00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:16,175
Hi.
Hi.
143
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,010
Um, let's see...
144
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,212
Dad.
Yeah?
145
00:06:19,245 --> 00:06:21,080
You know, I've been thinking,
146
00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:22,715
Ridgemont looks like
a really nice college.
147
00:06:22,749 --> 00:06:25,718
But if you get in
and then I decide to go there,
148
00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:28,154
then you'll be a junior
when I'm a freshman,
149
00:06:28,187 --> 00:06:30,156
and we might end up
in the same class.
150
00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:33,526
Oh, boy, won't that be great?
151
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:35,361
No.
152
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,296
Wait, what do you mean, Sam?
153
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:39,298
Come on, hey,
we could have lunch together.
154
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:40,600
We could hang out
in the student union.
155
00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:42,034
We could be study buddies.
156
00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:45,772
Or we could pretend
we don't know each other.
157
00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,507
Good thinking, Dad.
That might work.
158
00:06:49,842 --> 00:06:52,111
Sam if I don't finish my essay
for my application,
159
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,279
you're not going
to have to worry
160
00:06:53,312 --> 00:06:55,047
whether or not
I'm going to college.
161
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,449
Okay, I'll go quietly.
Okay.
162
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:58,117
[SLURPS]
163
00:06:59,619 --> 00:07:02,221
In the living room.
Thank you, sweetheart.
164
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,756
Okay. Okay.
All right.
165
00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:06,058
This is good.
166
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,227
I hope.
167
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,695
How are you doing?
168
00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:12,598
Oh, working away.
Working away.
169
00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:15,034
I've been working
on my math
170
00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:17,170
and on my essay
171
00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:19,372
and on my
vocabulary skills too.
172
00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:21,040
Angela, I'm
intensely cognizant
173
00:07:21,073 --> 00:07:23,776
of your pulchritude
this eventide.
174
00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:25,778
Well, thank you, Tony.
175
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:28,681
You look foxy too.
176
00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:31,284
Wow! You know
what I said.
177
00:07:31,317 --> 00:07:33,419
College education.
178
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,055
You know,
if I get in,
179
00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:37,690
we could
have more of these
conversations,
180
00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:39,025
although
who'd want to?
181
00:07:39,058 --> 00:07:40,092
[LAUGHS]
182
00:07:42,161 --> 00:07:44,764
You've been working
night and day
for two weeks.
183
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:47,066
I'm really proud of you.
184
00:07:47,099 --> 00:07:48,534
With us Micellis
185
00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:50,636
it's
nothing half-hog.
186
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:53,272
It's the whole pig
or nothing.
187
00:07:57,543 --> 00:08:01,180
Hey, check out
what I've gleaned
from these tomes.
188
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:03,683
That means
learned from
these books.
189
00:08:03,716 --> 00:08:05,651
Oh, very good.
Very good.
190
00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:07,286
Come on. Ask me
some questions.
191
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:11,257
Okay. I'll test you
on your verbal skills.
192
00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:14,727
All right, "Glove is to hand
as sock is to..."
193
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,395
Foot.
194
00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:17,597
Correct.
195
00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:20,766
Give me something
a little harder.
196
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,703
Give me
something to flex
my brain cells on.
197
00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:25,104
Okay.
198
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:27,773
Oh, here's one.
199
00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:31,410
Desk is to book
as bench is to...
200
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:33,479
Judge.
201
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,015
No. No, of course not.
202
00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:37,483
Not judge.
203
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,552
Uh, uh...park.
204
00:08:39,585 --> 00:08:43,155
"Desk is to book
as bench is to..."
205
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,458
All right.
I know what
the question is.
206
00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:49,128
All right, don't get rattled.
Just concentrate.
207
00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:50,363
As bench is to...
208
00:08:50,396 --> 00:08:52,031
basketball.
209
00:08:52,064 --> 00:08:53,533
No.
Not basketball.
210
00:08:53,566 --> 00:08:55,234
Um...uh....
211
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:57,570
I could use
some help here.
212
00:08:57,603 --> 00:08:59,405
Tool.
Oh, tool.
213
00:08:59,438 --> 00:09:01,374
Why did you tell me?
214
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:02,608
All right.
215
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:03,743
Let's just
switch gears.
216
00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:05,711
We'll go on to math.
217
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:08,147
I know you knew.
Sit down.
218
00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:12,084
Tool. I should
have known that.
219
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:14,287
All right.
220
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:18,157
"You have a jar
of red and green
jelly beans.
221
00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:21,460
"The ratio
of red jelly beans
to green jelly beans
222
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:22,995
is 5 to 3."
223
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:23,996
5 to 3. Okay.
224
00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:28,234
"If the jar contains
a total of 160 jelly beans,
225
00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:30,469
how many of them
are red?"
226
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:32,271
Red. Okay.
227
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,307
Okay, 5 to 3...
228
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:35,741
160.
229
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:37,410
Carry the bean.
230
00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:41,113
Uh...
231
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:43,149
60.
100.
232
00:09:43,182 --> 00:09:45,618
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
No way.
233
00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:47,353
She's right, Tony.
234
00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:51,157
She's right? Yeah?
235
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:52,458
Then answer this one.
236
00:09:52,491 --> 00:09:55,461
A girl's a half-hour
late going to bed.
237
00:09:55,494 --> 00:09:57,063
Her allowance is $15.
238
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,497
What does she lose
239
00:09:58,531 --> 00:10:00,366
before saying
good night?
240
00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:01,734
Good night.
241
00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:03,736
Good luck
tomorrow, Dad.
242
00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:06,105
Thanks. I'm
going to need it.
243
00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:08,307
What are you
talking about?
244
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,043
You don't need luck.
Everything's fine.
245
00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:14,814
Maybe I'm not cut out
to be a college man.
246
00:10:14,847 --> 00:10:17,583
Because you
flubbed two questions?
247
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,052
You're overreacting.
248
00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:21,053
But, Angela,
it's just...
249
00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:23,055
something about me
and tests.
250
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:25,091
You know
what I mean?
251
00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:27,660
I never do good
on them.
252
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:29,128
You don't do well.
253
00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:31,764
See?
No, you'll do well.
254
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:34,100
You'll do good.
255
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,234
Stop fretting.
256
00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:36,602
All right.
257
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,570
Okay. Come on.
258
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,573
[LAUGHS]
I get it.
259
00:10:43,442 --> 00:10:45,411
Oh, gosh.
260
00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:03,229
Do you know
the answer to that one?
261
00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:04,730
Haven't got a clue.
262
00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:06,365
I know.
263
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,702
Figures.
264
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:11,370
Miss Goody Two-shoes.
265
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:12,638
Nice hair.
266
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,041
I hope she
doesn't ask me.
267
00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:17,043
Yeah. Me either.
268
00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:19,145
That's one tough
battle-ax.
269
00:11:20,479 --> 00:11:22,148
All right.
270
00:11:25,384 --> 00:11:27,186
Anthony.
271
00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:29,755
Uh...who, me?
272
00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:33,526
Daydreaming again,
Anthony?
273
00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:35,461
No, Sister.
What was the question?
274
00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:39,632
How many
jelly beans are red?
275
00:11:39,665 --> 00:11:42,068
Uh...what jelly beans?
276
00:11:42,101 --> 00:11:43,769
Where's the jar?
How should I know?
277
00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:45,538
You know. Help me.
278
00:11:45,571 --> 00:11:47,073
Help me! Help me!
279
00:11:48,607 --> 00:11:50,509
It wouldn't be fair.
280
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,480
I'm waiting,
Anthony.
281
00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:56,315
Well, uh...
282
00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:58,384
Does anyone else
know the answer?
283
00:11:58,417 --> 00:11:59,518
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
284
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,020
Samantha.
285
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,055
I know, Sister.
That's easy.
286
00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:04,657
It's 54.
287
00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:06,358
That is correct,
Samantha.
288
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,094
And just for that,
289
00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:10,730
you can go to
the Molly Ringwald
festival.
290
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:15,134
Oh, thank you, Sister!
291
00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:18,137
I believe it's my duty
to say that...
292
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:21,240
Anthony tried to get
the answer from me.
293
00:12:21,273 --> 00:12:23,075
Ooh.
Ooh.
294
00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:24,510
No. No.
295
00:12:25,644 --> 00:12:27,046
I didn't do it.
296
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:28,581
Well, Anthony...
297
00:12:28,614 --> 00:12:32,485
I'm going
to have to call
the Mother Superior.
298
00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:34,553
That's it for you.
299
00:12:35,721 --> 00:12:38,624
[BELL RINGS]
300
00:12:38,657 --> 00:12:40,092
BOY:
Uh-oh. You're dead.
301
00:12:46,165 --> 00:12:48,467
Is there
a problem, Sister?
302
00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:52,171
Is it Anthony again?
303
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:56,075
Yes, Mother.
304
00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:58,310
I'm afraid he
doesn't test well.
305
00:12:58,344 --> 00:13:00,045
Wait a minute, Sister.
306
00:13:00,045 --> 00:13:01,280
Sister...
307
00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:03,182
I wrote
my essay good.
308
00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:05,551
It's "well,"
Anthony.
309
00:13:05,584 --> 00:13:08,554
Anthony,
this page is blank.
310
00:13:08,587 --> 00:13:10,122
No, it can't be.
311
00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:12,324
Sister, I know
I wrote it.
312
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:14,326
I wrote it good.
313
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:17,730
Anthony, I am afraid
you're in over your head.
314
00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:19,632
He'll never
be a student.
315
00:13:19,665 --> 00:13:20,733
You're wrong.
316
00:13:20,766 --> 00:13:22,401
In over your head.
317
00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:23,736
Never be a student.
318
00:13:23,769 --> 00:13:25,137
You're wrong.
319
00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:26,572
Never be a student.
320
00:13:26,605 --> 00:13:28,574
You're wrong.
You're wrong.
321
00:13:28,607 --> 00:13:30,576
You're wrong.
322
00:13:30,609 --> 00:13:32,578
You're wrong.
323
00:13:32,611 --> 00:13:34,380
You're right.
324
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,333
[HUMMING]
325
00:13:54,366 --> 00:13:56,335
Hi.
Hi.
326
00:13:56,368 --> 00:13:59,238
You should be
taking your test.
327
00:13:59,271 --> 00:14:02,007
Well, uh...I decided
not to take it.
328
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:03,676
What are you
talking about?
329
00:14:03,709 --> 00:14:06,145
What made you
change your mind?
330
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:09,281
You and that superior
mother of yours.
331
00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:11,483
I don't understand.
332
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:14,019
Angela, I'm just
not going to college.
333
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:16,055
Things would
fall apart here.
334
00:14:16,088 --> 00:14:18,057
First dust balls,
then dirty dishes,
335
00:14:18,090 --> 00:14:20,793
then a bad case
of grout mold.
336
00:14:20,826 --> 00:14:23,128
Tony, we've already
discussed this.
337
00:14:23,162 --> 00:14:25,698
Your housework's
finished
in three hours.
338
00:14:25,731 --> 00:14:27,032
Spend the rest
in your classes.
339
00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:29,568
Angela,
let's forget it.
340
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,237
I made my decision.
341
00:14:40,779 --> 00:14:43,816
If you won't
listen to me,
listen to yourself.
342
00:14:43,849 --> 00:14:45,784
Not my essay.
It's terrible.
343
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:47,219
"College.
344
00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:51,423
"It means different things
to different people.
345
00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:53,259
"To some, it's a way
to meet girls
346
00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:56,095
and blow 50 grand
of your parents' savings."
347
00:14:56,128 --> 00:14:58,163
I know what I wrote.
348
00:14:58,197 --> 00:15:01,767
"When I was a kid,
I'd look up at the stars
349
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,536
"and think, 'there's
a lot more out there
350
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,739
"'than I can see,
351
00:15:06,772 --> 00:15:10,643
and there's more to each
of us than we know.'"
352
00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:12,444
Angela, you're
embarrassing me.
353
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:14,280
"My friend,
Frankie Pesce,
354
00:15:14,313 --> 00:15:16,048
"had an encyclopedia set
355
00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:18,784
"that his mother
bought at the market.
356
00:15:18,817 --> 00:15:22,755
"I got up to volume C,
and then he moved away.
357
00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:24,790
"I know everything
about aardvarks,
358
00:15:24,823 --> 00:15:27,526
"Bastille Day,
and Samuel Clemens.
359
00:15:27,559 --> 00:15:31,363
"But there's still
lots of questions
I need answers to.
360
00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:35,034
"To me,
college is a place
to dream out loud.
361
00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:39,071
A place to catch up
on volumes D through Z."
362
00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:42,041
Dad, you wrote this?
363
00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:46,111
All these years
you could've been
doing my book reports.
364
00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:49,782
Tony, it's a
beautiful essay.
365
00:15:49,815 --> 00:15:52,051
It's sincere,
eloquent,
and honest.
366
00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:54,219
Well...
you do think so?
367
00:15:54,253 --> 00:15:55,254
Yes.
368
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,556
The first joke
could be sharper,
369
00:15:57,589 --> 00:15:59,325
but it builds nicely.
370
00:15:59,358 --> 00:16:01,593
Shouldn't you be
at your test?
371
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,962
Ah...
372
00:16:04,563 --> 00:16:08,267
your father's
decided not to go
to college.
373
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,768
You're not serious.
374
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,603
There's nothing
you wanted more.
375
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:14,206
Maybe I don't want it.
376
00:16:14,239 --> 00:16:16,675
You just made up
this stuff you wrote?
377
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,243
Well, no.
378
00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:20,779
If I didn't
know you better,
379
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,581
I'd say
that you were--
380
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,584
What?
381
00:16:25,617 --> 00:16:27,419
Nothing. Nothing.
382
00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:29,188
Go ahead and say it.
383
00:16:29,221 --> 00:16:30,689
Chicken.
384
00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:32,758
How could you say that?
385
00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:37,663
Dad, it's okay.
386
00:16:37,696 --> 00:16:41,467
Just do what you
tell me to do
when I have a test.
387
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:46,605
Take a deep breath,
count to 10, and jump in.
388
00:16:46,638 --> 00:16:48,307
I said that? Gee.
389
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,309
Sounds
kind of feeble.
390
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:53,312
That's what I thought.
391
00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,114
But it worked.
392
00:16:57,149 --> 00:16:58,317
Yeah?
393
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:01,086
Maybe I'm smarter
than I thought.
394
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,188
Well, I think so.
395
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,290
But just in case,
396
00:17:05,324 --> 00:17:07,593
here's my lucky number 2
led pencil.
397
00:17:07,626 --> 00:17:09,328
Oh, gee. Thanks, Angela.
398
00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:11,130
But, gee, it's...
399
00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:13,332
it's all chewed up.
Yuck.
400
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:16,001
You're not the only one
who gets scared before a test.
401
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,736
Hey, I'm not scared.
402
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,004
I'm, uh...
403
00:17:22,074 --> 00:17:24,176
I'm chicken.
404
00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:27,046
Hey, but I'm going.
405
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:28,614
I'm out of here.
406
00:17:28,647 --> 00:17:31,383
Hey, brain don't fail me now.
407
00:17:31,417 --> 00:17:32,584
Hey, hey.
408
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:34,086
I'm going.
409
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:35,487
I'm going.
410
00:17:35,521 --> 00:17:36,588
[DOOR CLOSES]
411
00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:38,457
Mail call.
412
00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:40,359
Gangway!
413
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,461
Did it come?
414
00:17:42,494 --> 00:17:44,029
I haven't gone
through the mail yet.
415
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,330
Let me do it.
Let me do it.
416
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,736
Oh, it didn't come.
417
00:17:50,769 --> 00:17:53,038
Look what I found
in my other hand.
418
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,808
Give me that!
419
00:17:55,841 --> 00:17:57,776
Oh. Oh.
I can't open it.
420
00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,244
I can!
421
00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:00,679
Get your mitts off.
422
00:18:00,712 --> 00:18:03,749
Hey, my whole life
is in here.
423
00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:06,218
If I scored 450
or better,
424
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:07,519
I go to college.
425
00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:09,221
If I didn't,
426
00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:10,756
they retire my mop
427
00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:14,259
and put me in the
housekeeper's hall of fame.
428
00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:15,561
Come on, 450.
429
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,463
Come on, 450.
430
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:23,035
And it's a...2.
431
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:25,604
200?
432
00:18:25,637 --> 00:18:27,573
No. 2.
433
00:18:33,245 --> 00:18:34,613
Gee.
434
00:18:36,815 --> 00:18:40,652
That was some
lucky pencil
you gave me.
435
00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:44,756
Well, well, well.
436
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,026
Well.
437
00:18:49,328 --> 00:18:51,330
Well?
438
00:18:51,363 --> 00:18:53,599
You couldn't
have scored a 2.
439
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:56,768
Nobody
is that stupid.
440
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,570
We know that,
Mr. Mackey.
441
00:18:58,604 --> 00:19:00,239
What is the problem?
442
00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:03,976
See where it says,
"Don't mark this space"?
443
00:19:04,009 --> 00:19:05,177
He marked that space.
444
00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:09,214
Wait a minute.
Let me see that.
445
00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:12,217
Oh. So I started
marking my answers
446
00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:13,552
on the wrong line.
That's right.
447
00:19:13,585 --> 00:19:15,287
[LAUGHS]
448
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:19,124
You threw
that computer
into an awful tizzy.
449
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,693
Well, then, hey,
I didn't get a 2, huh?
450
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:23,061
I don't know what you got.
451
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:25,097
The computer can't score it.
452
00:19:25,130 --> 00:19:27,533
Could you
score it by hand?
453
00:19:27,566 --> 00:19:30,235
I don't see why not.
454
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:34,173
You mean right now?
455
00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:36,341
If it's not
too much trouble.
456
00:19:36,375 --> 00:19:37,643
All right.
457
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:46,185
You know,
this reminds me
458
00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:48,587
of days before
we had the computer.
459
00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:50,088
We did everything by hand.
460
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:54,459
Worked much better.
And faster.
461
00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:56,495
Yeah, well...
Mr. Mackey, please.
462
00:19:58,297 --> 00:19:59,531
All right.
463
00:19:59,565 --> 00:20:01,533
Oh, this will amuse you.
464
00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:04,436
You know, several years ago
Harry Truman paid a visit--
465
00:20:04,469 --> 00:20:06,305
[WHIMPERS]
466
00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:07,773
All right.
467
00:20:07,806 --> 00:20:09,274
You're in a hurry.
468
00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:10,509
Yeah.
469
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,110
[MURMURING]
470
00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:19,685
[THEME FROM JEOPARDY! PLAYING]
471
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,683
All right.
472
00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:53,719
Now we'll add it up.
473
00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:58,323
[HUMS]
474
00:20:58,357 --> 00:20:59,725
100.
475
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:02,327
[HUMS]
476
00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:03,629
200.
477
00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:05,030
200.
478
00:21:05,063 --> 00:21:07,165
[HUMS]
479
00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:09,268
300.
Ho! 300.
480
00:21:09,301 --> 00:21:11,336
[HUMS]
481
00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:12,537
400.
482
00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:14,673
400.
Come on, 450.
483
00:21:14,706 --> 00:21:15,774
Come on, 450!
484
00:21:15,807 --> 00:21:17,175
410.
485
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:18,377
Hoo! 10, 10!
486
00:21:18,410 --> 00:21:19,544
420.
487
00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:20,646
20! 20!
488
00:21:20,679 --> 00:21:21,713
400...
489
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:25,384
430.
490
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:26,652
430, 430.
491
00:21:26,685 --> 00:21:28,654
440.
492
00:21:28,687 --> 00:21:31,390
Would you come on!
493
00:21:31,423 --> 00:21:33,725
Well, he's
driving me crazy!
494
00:21:33,759 --> 00:21:36,395
You made me
lose my place.
495
00:21:36,428 --> 00:21:38,664
I'll have to start
all over again.
496
00:21:38,697 --> 00:21:40,399
What?
497
00:21:40,432 --> 00:21:41,700
Just kidding.
498
00:21:41,733 --> 00:21:43,235
[LAUGHS]
499
00:21:43,268 --> 00:21:45,103
Just kidding.
500
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,638
Just kidding.
501
00:21:46,672 --> 00:21:50,609
Young people
don't have a sense
of humor nowadays.
502
00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:53,412
Let's see.
Your score is...
503
00:21:53,445 --> 00:21:55,647
445.
504
00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,384
Oh, hold your horses.
505
00:22:00,719 --> 00:22:03,655
I forgot
to carry the one.
506
00:22:03,689 --> 00:22:07,225
What does that mean,
means I got 446?
507
00:22:07,259 --> 00:22:10,595
Your final score
is 545.
508
00:22:12,197 --> 00:22:14,099
545?
509
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:17,269
545!
510
00:22:17,302 --> 00:22:18,670
I'm in! I'm in!
511
00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:21,173
I love you!
512
00:22:23,775 --> 00:22:26,678
Oh, Tony, Tony,
you did it.
513
00:22:26,712 --> 00:22:29,247
Oh, thanks, Mr. Mackey.
514
00:22:29,281 --> 00:22:31,083
Angela, we did it.
515
00:22:31,116 --> 00:22:34,653
Hey, Angela, you feel
like having a brew
at the Rathskeller
516
00:22:34,686 --> 00:22:37,055
with a college man?
517
00:22:38,423 --> 00:22:41,326
Rah-rah, sis-boom-bah.
518
00:22:43,795 --> 00:22:45,364
Mr. Mack.
519
00:22:48,834 --> 00:22:50,335
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Oh, boy!
520
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:52,604
Ooh,
I love college life.
521
00:22:52,637 --> 00:22:56,141
The student union,
the library,
522
00:22:56,174 --> 00:22:58,443
the beer nuts
at the Rathskeller.
523
00:22:58,477 --> 00:23:00,579
Even the nuts
taste smart.
524
00:23:00,612 --> 00:23:02,614
You ought to be a genius.
525
00:23:02,647 --> 00:23:04,149
You ate a pound of them.
526
00:23:04,182 --> 00:23:06,685
Very good, Angela.
Excellent hyperbole.
527
00:23:06,718 --> 00:23:08,253
[LAUGHS]
528
00:23:08,286 --> 00:23:10,288
College, college.
529
00:23:10,322 --> 00:23:12,057
Looks like you two
530
00:23:12,090 --> 00:23:14,292
have been celebrating
the big 545.
531
00:23:14,326 --> 00:23:15,627
TONY:
That's right, Mona.
532
00:23:15,660 --> 00:23:18,296
Now that
I'm matriculating,
533
00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:21,299
I'm doing
the Joe College things.
534
00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:25,370
In that case,
quit the partying
and hit the books.
535
00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:29,608
Oh, get her.
What a kidder, huh?
536
00:23:29,641 --> 00:23:32,577
I am not kidding,
Anthony.
537
00:23:33,712 --> 00:23:36,047
Anthony, I am not kidding.
538
00:23:37,849 --> 00:23:39,351
She's back!
539
00:23:50,462 --> 00:24:20,859
[♪♪]
35200
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