Original subtitles

♪ There’s a time for love And a time for livin’ ♪

♪ Take a chance And face the wind ♪

♪ An open road and A road that’s hidden ♪

♪ A brand-new life Around the bend ♪

♪ There were times ♪

♪ I lost a dream or two ♪

♪ Found the trail ♪

♪ And at the end was you ♪

♪ There’s a path you take And a path not taken ♪

♪ The choice is Up to you, my friend ♪

♪ Nights are long But you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand-new life ♪

♪ Brand-new life ♪

♪ A brand-new life Around the bend ♪

Hey, Henry, it’s me, Tony.

I’m bringing the whole crew down for dinner tonight,

five hungry hombres ready to chow down

on your Peking duck.

Make a lot, ’cause Sam’s coming.

And don’t forget, no chopsticks for Angela.

Still on the ceiling, huh?

Yeah, okay, Henry, I’ll see you later.

Keep on "wokking."

It wasn’t my fault.

Their ceiling is low.

Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.

Hey, Jonathan, are you going to order octopus again?

Yeah. It’s great when they squeeze that little pouch,

and the ink squirts all over the rice.

It looks like black spit.

Anyone for Italian?

Ho!

Oh, Monska!

Ooh, hey! All decked out

for Henry’s Peking duck, huh?

No, for Henry.

He slips the cutest little fortunes into my cookies.

Hi, guys. Got to change.

You don’t have to.

We’re going to the Shanghai Nosherie.

It’s totally casual.

I can’t make it. Jesse and I have plans.

Come on, Jesse again?

You’re spending every spare minute with that kid.

You even canceled the Ranger game with me.

Dad, don’t worry, I’ll spend time with you tomorrow.

Oh, no, can’t tomorrow. How about Sunday?

Oops, no, not then either.

Ah, we’ll keep in touch.

Yeah, I’ll have my people call your people.

Come on, Sam. What are you, kidding me?

I hardly see you anymore. I miss you. We all do.

I don’t.

Sweetheart, it’s good to be honest about your feelings,

but we don’t want to hear them.

Dad, come on. This is important.

We’re going to the observatory.

Saturn aligns with Antares tonight.

That happens once every hundred years.

Can’t you catch it next time?

Dad! All right, all right.

I hope you and your planets will be happy.

Great. Come on, help pick an outfit

that’ll look great in the dark.

You’ll run rings around Saturn.

Hmm.

Gee whiz, Mona.

This relationship is serious.

She never turned down Peking duck before.

Congratulations, Tony.

You’re the proud father

of a perfectly normal teenage girl.

Let me tell you, it’s murder.

It’s murder, I tell you.

How did you ever get through these years with Angela?

Easy. I sent her to school in Switzerland.

All right. What’s the scoop?

How did you know?

I knew you wouldn’t ask for fashion advice.

Everything I wear matches.

This is really important,

something only a fellow woman would understand.

You came to the right fellow.

No person over 15 has ever heard this.

Jesse asked me to go steady.

Oh!

Oh, that’s so wonderful.

I’m so happy for you.

I just love Jesse. He’s so cute and smart.

He has a real social conscience.

We had to walk out on Snow White

because of its degrading portrayal of dwarfs.

Don’t tell him I saw it seven times.

I don’t know. It’s weird.

I always pictured myself

with the captain of the football team.

How did I fall for someone with depth?

Well, that’s often the way it is.

The guy you fall in love with

isn’t anything like the guy you fantasize about.

You had a dream man?

As a kid, it was the Good Humor man.

There’s something about a guy with a change belt.

I kind of had eyes for the warm pretzel man.

When I got older,

I had this romantic vision of an investment banker.

He was very Brooks Brothers--

Blue pinstripe suit, vest, club tie...

white sweatshirt-- I mean, a white...

a white dress shirt.

Sam, did you cop my Rangers jacket again?

Yeah. Sorry, Dad. Here it is.

I hope you don’t mind Chanel number 5.

No. No. It will go good with my Brut.

Is everything okay up here?

I thought I heard a squeal.

It was me.

I thought I saw a mouse,

but it was Sam’s bunny slippers.

I told you a million times,

when you’re not wearing them, lock them up.

Well, look, let’s go

’cause my egg drop soup is getting cold.

When are you going to break the news

to Mr. Chanel Number 5?

That’s what I wanted to ask you about.

What do I say? What’s he going to say?

Where do I hide?

He’ll be fine.

Just be direct and honest.

I know. I’ll tell him...

maybe the next time Saturn aligns with Antares.

Sam, don’t underestimate your father.

He loves you,

and he wants only the best for you.

He still thinks of me as a little girl.

He thinks milk and cupcakes make me happy.

Works for me.

Sam, listen, your father may surprise you, you know.

People learn. People grow. People change.

People explode.

Hey, what is the holdup?

My grandson is hungry.

No, I’m not.

If I say you’re hungry, you’re hungry.

Hey, what’s the holdup?

They’re doing girl things.

I didn’t want to rush them.

Well, I’ll give them a little hint.

Thanks. I’m sorry.

Angela, get your butt down here!

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I got it. I got it.

Oh, hey, Jesse.

How are you doing?

What’s new in the produce biz?

Rough day. The Henderson kids got loose again.

They put McIntosh with Delicious,

Winesaps with Pippins. An apple nightmare.

Oh, I saw the movie.

What have you got?

Something for Sam and something for you.

Ah, Jesse, you shouldn’t have.

They’re beautiful.

They’re really you, Tony.

Sam’s going to love that melon too.

I’ll take that.

Jonathan, come on.

We’re hungry.

So did Sam tell you about our plans?

Yeah, sure.

And?

At first, I was upset.

I’m going to miss her,

but it’s more duck for me.

Well, I guess that’s one way of looking at it.

Hi, Jesse.

Hi, Sam.

These are for you.

Thank you.

Well, we better get going.

Bye, Tony. Thanks for being understanding about things.

Things? What things?

Well, about us.

You talked to him about us?

He said it was cool.

He said it was more duck for him.

He’s so colorful.

Duck? I don’t think

we’re talking about going steady here.

Going steady? Going steady?

Who said anything about going steady?

He did. I did?

You didn’t? No.

I said we should have

a mutually exclusive paired relationship.

A what? A what?

Where did you get that from?

New York Times magazine, the "About Men" column.

You should’ve read "About Sam,"

’cause I want to go steady.

No.

But that’s so conventional.

I don’t see it that way.

Let’s get the opinion

of an impartial third party.

My dad, impartial? He’s been turned down

for jury duty eight times.

Tony, we need some advice.

Don’t go steady.

JESSE: That’s exactly what I’m saying.

Who needs those labels?

Yeah, Sam. Those labels, they’re so yesterday.

You know, Jesse,

you are wise beyond your years.

Dad, you’re pushing it beyond belief.

Jesse, what’s wrong with going steady?

That goes against my philosophy.

Mine too. We should have

a mutually exclusive paired relationship.

Absolutely. What is that?

A psycho-spiritual interfacing

of goals and values.

In English.

We only hang out together.

Isn’t that the same thing as going steady?

Yeah!

I never thought of it that way.

Sam, if it makes you happy,

let’s just go steady.

Oh, Jesse, that was beautiful.

I accept.

Thank you, Dad.

Thanks a lot, Tony.

You’re wise beyond your years.

Ugh.

If we’re going steady, I’ll need a ring.

How about my Save the Whales pin?

Close enough.

[DOOR CLOSES] I was doing fine

until that interfacing stuff.

Ooh.

Sam, everybody at school is talking about you and Jesse.

It’s only the romance of the century.

That’s how we see it.

So did your dad freak out when he heard you’re going steady?

Are you kidding? It was practically his idea.

He is so cool.

I’d love to have him for a father...

if I couldn’t have Billy Joel.

Of course, if Billy Joel were my father,

Christie Brinkley would be my mother

and I’d be beautiful, so I wouldn’t have problems.

Bonnie, let’s get back to reality here.

I figured Jesse and I will have

a combination high school graduation/June wedding.

Dad’ll cater, this way we’ll save money

for the honeymoon in Tahiti.

Tahiti? Wait, it gets better.

We’ll both go to the same university,

one with high academic standards

and a salad bar in the cafeteria.

And, of course, there has to be a day care center

for Jason and Jennifer.

Who are they?

The twins.

You don’t expect us to take them to class, do you?

I guess not.

Oh, Sam, I’m so jealous.

I know. It’s a wonderful life.

How does this sound? Samantha Micelli Nash.

Too long.

Sam Nash?

Sounds like a private eye.

How about this one?

Samantha Nash-Micelli with a hyphen?

Ooh, good.

Ethnic and yuppie.

You know, it’s kind of long.

I hope it fits on our gold American Express card.

So after Jason and Jennifer,

are you going to have more kids?

Lots. It makes Christmas more fun.

And, anyway, we’re going to need a big family

to help work on the organic farm.

Farm? Yeah.

Jesse wants to live close to nature.

But don’t worry, we’re going to have a condo in the city,

because I want to live close to Bergdorf’s.

♪ Sam and Jesse Sitting in a tree ♪

♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪

Of course, we could rent kids for Christmas.

First comes love, then comes marriage,

then comes Sam with a baby carriage.

Keep it up, and you’ll miss my wedding.

Oh, you’re breaking my heart.

Well...

kissy kissy.

So, what do you want to do now?

Tie Jonathan to an ant hill

and pour syrup on him.

After that.

Let’s go to the mall.

I’ll pick a China pattern

and get a corn dog.

Where are you off to?

We’re going to check out flatware.

See you.

Flatware?

It must be a new group.

Tony, you are one tough trainer,

but I love that feeling

when you’ve pushed yourself to the limit.

It gives you a real sense of accomplishment.

Maybe next time you’ll go the whole block.

Hey, don’t push it, bub.

At least I got jogging partners

now that Samantha doesn’t have time for her old man.

She’s not spending all her time with Jesse.

She’s spending time with Bonnie,

she’s hanging out at the mall.

And reading New Bride Magazine?

Look at this.

"Ten tips for a happy honeymoon."

And it’s dog-eared.

I can’t believe this is happening.

All little girls fantasize like this.

But that doesn’t make it right.

If you’re this upset,

why don’t you talk to her?

I feel funny talking to her about bride things.

Want me to do it?

No!

Tony, this isn’t at all what you think.

This is very innocent. Listen.

"Make travel plans early.

"Never hang your panty hose on the shower rod.

Always go to bed with a smile."

The trick is how to wake up with a smile.

Would you go home?

Go home. Go home. Would you go home?

Maybe I’m not meant to be

the parent of a teenager.

You’re doing just fine.

It’s like a runaway train.

The brakes are shot.

Why does she have to go steady?

She could look around,

see other guys, stay home.

These are difficult years,

but you should be glad

Sam’s going with a guy like Jesse.

He’s still a guy.

He’s not a guy like Brian James.

Who’s he?

A quarterback at Sam’s school.

Suffice it to say

when he yells, "touchdown," he’s not talking football.

When did you start keeping stats

on high school jocks?

Sam mentioned it when we talked about going steady.

Oh, she, uh... she talked to you about going steady?

When?

Right before she...

told you.

Oh, Tony, don’t be upset.

Come on.

You’re a wonderful father.

You are, but you just can’t be

everything to your daughter.

Sometimes she just needs a woman to talk to.

Well, what’s wrong with me?

Wait, Sam. Don’t go in yet. I want to show you something.

What? Have a seat.

Know what this means?

You like hopping on benches?

That’s pretty literal, Sam.

My spirit is uplifted.

A certain buoyancy has permeated my being.

You mean you’re happy?

You really cut through it, Sam.

Well, happy anniversary.

We’ve been going steady for 19 hours.

And they said it wouldn’t last.

I had my doubts about this steady thing.

I thought I’d feel trapped and labeled,

but I don’t.

I feel free and alive.

Don’t you?

Yeah.

Do I detect a note of bummed-out here?

I don’t know.

Something’s missing.

Since we’ve been dating,

things have changed.

I know what it is.

We’ve fused.

You’ve lost your sense of self.

You’ve become a mere shell of a person,

an empty vacuum of nothingness.

No, I don’t think that’s it.

I didn’t think so.

Well, is it me, Sam?

Do I have annoying habits?

A few.

But I don’t think that’s it, either.

Well, is there another guy?

No.

Of course there isn’t.

I mean... when would you have time?

We spend almost every moment together.

That’s it.

That’s what’s bothering me.

Spending time together?

No, Jesse.

There is another guy.

Hi, Dad.

Got a minute?

Yeah. I got the dust balls cornered.

What’s up?

I wanted to talk about Jesse and me.

Have a seat.

Anything wrong?

No.

Well, he did want

his Save the Whales pin back,

but he gave me his Amnesty International tie clip.

But everything’s fine.

Good. Good.

So you want to borrow a necktie?

Dad, this "going steady"

is a really big deal for me,

and it’s great,

but I don’t know...

something’s missing.

Like seeing your other friends

or other guys?

No.

You.

I never got to talk to you about it.

I raced by you on that.

I know.

I still have tire marks on my face.

Dad, you and I have been together

for a long time.

You’ve always been there

for the major moments.

Hey, that’s my job.

Do you remember when I was in the school play?

I forgot a line, and everybody started laughing.

You threatened to beat up

every member of the audience...

individually.

That was so sweet.

Hey, but you would have got that standing ovation anyway.

I really like growing up

and being independent

and making my own decisions.

Yeah?

Do I hear a "but" in there?

It’s kind of a "but."

I guess I just miss knowing

that you’re out there in the audience.

Honey, I’m still there.

I just don’t have those good seats anymore.

I’m sitting in the back.

So from where you’re sitting,

how does this "going steady" thing look?

Sam, it’s too late to talk about it.

Better late than never.

Dad, I really want your opinion on this.

If you don’t want me to go steady with Jesse,

I won’t, but you’ll break our hearts.

Well, as long as there’s no pressure.

Ah.

So you want my honest opinion, right?

Right.

I don’t want you to.

Do I hear a "but" in there?

You’re getting good, Sam.

See, the "but" is that, uh...

even though I’m not wild about the idea,

it’s not my decision.

Good.

Of course, I’d be happier if you were happier.

Oh, well, I’m happy enough.

If you got to go steady,

I’m glad it’s with Jesse.

I can’t think of a better steady-in-law.

Thanks, Dad.

You’re better than Billy Joel.

Thanks, honey.

I love you just the way you are.

Dad, is it okay if I go out tonight?

Yeah, I guess, sure. You’re a free agent.

Well, almost.

Good.

Would you like to take

an almost free agent out for Peking duck?

Just me and you?

You got it.

I’ll have the prettiest girl in town.

Come on, now.

Let’s go chow.

We’ll see if Angela’s food

is still on the ceiling.

You know, with Sam getting so interested in astronomy,

I might buy her a telescope for her birthday.

Make that two.

There’s a hunky widower down the street

with a broken window shade.

Oh...oh...

my favorite family all together, huh?

Where’s my favorite daughter?

Come on, everybody.

I want to show you

what I learned at the observatory.

The sky is so beautiful.

There’s a jillion stars out.

If I would’ve had my druthers,

I would have been an astronomer.

Or maybe an astronaut.

Or maybe ALF.

Do we have to go now? Grandma’s on the ropes.

Gin.

Let’s see those stars.

Wait a minute.

You sat in the dark with Jesse

and just looked at stars?

Yeah, Mona. That’s my girl.

I love stargazing.

Makes you realize we’re just a speck of dust

on the head of a pin

in the pincushion of the universe.

Yeah, that’s funny, because I always think of us

as a stitch on the baseball

in the big guy’s glove.

There’s the Big Dipper.

JONATHAN: You know, it’s amazing.

This is the same sky

that the cave men looked at.

Yeah, and the people in the ’50s.

It looks like a diamond tiara.

It looks like a giant connect-the-dot puzzle.

It looks like Rockefeller Center at Christmas.

Oh, I love this galaxy.

[♪♪]