Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

♪ There's a time for love And a time for living ♪

♪ You take a chance And face the wind ♪

♪ An open road And a road that's hidden ♪

♪ A brand new life Around the bend ♪

♪ There were times I lost a dream or two ♪

♪ Found the trail And at the end was you ♪

♪ There's a path you take And a path not taken ♪

♪ The choice is up to you My friend ♪

♪ Nights are long But you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand new life ♪

♪ Brand new life ♪

♪ A brand new life Around the bend ♪

[♪♪♪]

Could you believe her?

A white blouse with a black bra!

Every guy in school was staring.

Samantha, Samantha,

haven't you been on that phone long enough?

Dad, this is important.

Do you have a black one I could borrow?

He did? [DOOR BELL CHIMES]

[SQUEALS] I don't believe it!

Samantha, neither do I. You think you could keep it down?

Tony, she's a little girl. Little girls squeal.

[CHIMING CONTINUES]

ALL: Hi!

TONY: Hey, what do you say?

Dr. Ferguson, Dr. Schaeffer-- What's up, docs?

[CHUCKLES]

Well, we're engaged.

[BOTH SQUEAL]

That's great, that's great! Come on in.

That's so romantic, huh?

Ooh, Dr. Paul and Isabel Ferguson, a medical corporation.

[CHUCKLING]

I'm so happy for you.

Congratulations!

Oh, I've gotta call Marci and tell her.

Um, I've already told her, Samantha.

[ANNOYED] You did?

Well, I am her father.

But I'm her best friend.

Sorry, I guess I was out of line.

But Sam, she doesn't know that you know.

All right! All right, upstairs.

Okay. Okay.

[GASPS] Well, have you two set a date yet?

We think so.

But I wanted to check it out with you first.

Me? Why?

Because, um...I want you to be my matron of honor.

[BOTH SQUEAL]

I'd love to.

What about Wendy? Now, you've known her longer.

Won't she be hurt? Gee, maybe it should be Wendy.

No way.

I seated you next to each other

at my dinner party. If it wasn't for me,

you would not be getting married.

Maybe you seated them next to each other at your party,

but you know what got these two together?

My Oysters Micelli. Hah, hah!

I believe in giving credit where credit is due,

so, Tony, will you be my best man?

Who me? [SQUEALS]

[BOTH LAUGH]

Your refrigerator is always so excellent.

I'm hoping now that my dad's getting married,

maybe ours won't be so pathetic.

Pathetic, Marci? It's scary.

I remember one time I reached for something,

and it reached back.

Don't worry, we killed that one.

So you don't mind having a new stepmother?

No way!

All you have to do is call 'em "mom"

and they'll give you anything.

Really?

Uh-huh. They think they have to be nice,

or you'll wreck their marriage.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, you know, you're good.

You should have your own talk show.

These invitations-- Oh, they are so nice.

[GASPS] Oh, look at that one. Number 36.

No, no, come on, Angela.

Not with all those curlicues and stuff.

Come on, Tony. This is a wedding.

The invitation should say love and romance.

And when to be there. Come on! Are you kidding me?

Back, back-- [TONY EXCLAIMS]

Number 25. I like number 25.

You know, that is nice, isn't it?

It's settled. We'll go with number 25.

Number 25.

TONY: Write it down. ANGELA: Okay.

Well, now that you two have picked out their invitations,

perhaps you'd like to name their children.

I've always liked Anthony.

Tony, thanks a lot. Angela, bye, bye!

Bye, bye. Miss you.

Aw, they really are great together.

You know, they were good friends for such a long time,

and then one day, Cupid's arrow

just found its mark. [CHUCKLES]

Ain't love funny? Yeah.

It's a real gut-buster.

I know Angela's romances have always been good for a laugh.

[MOUTHS] Mother!

Dad, can I ask you something?

Anything, sweetheart. Anytime, you know that.

As long as it's not about boys, your allowance,

or a cordless telephone.

Ooh, cordless telephone!

Great idea.

You know, if I had a bigger allowance,

I could buy one and call boys from anywhere.

Samantha, what did you want?

Do you ever think about getting married again?

Uh, gee, I don't know, I--

I mean, I was...I was real happy with your mom.

I sure would like to have that again.

But, hey, things are different now.

You have me, right? That's right.

Let me tell you something. Any woman that I love

would have to love you as much as I do.

What's not to love? [CHUCKLES]

And then, you know, I gotta find a woman

who accepts me for who I am and what I do.

Aw, Dad, you're in big trouble.

Mother, why-- Why would you ask me a question like that?

Because inquiring minds want to know.

Do you or do you not want to get married again?

I don't know!

I'll tell you one thing, if I did get remarried,

it wouldn't be to somebody like Michael.

Thank you, Lord.

He was so threatened by my success.

No... This time, I'd like a man

that would be supportive of my career,

that loves my son,

is sensitive and considerate.

Mm. Gee, where would you ever find a guy like that?

Hey, Angela, want me to go down to the Cub Scouts

and pick up Jonathan so you could get

some work done on that new account?

[PIPE ORGAN PLAYING]

[WEDDING MARCH PLAYING ON ORGAN]

Dear family and friends,

we are here today to join

this man and this woman in matrimony.

Let us take a moment to reflect

upon this forthcoming marriage.

[ORGAN RESUMES PLAYING]

What are we supposed to be doing?

Watching the bride and groom reflect.

What do you think they're reflecting about?

How much loot they're gonna get for wedding presents.

Grandma, what do you think they're reflecting about?

I wish I knew.

Probably the wedding night.

[ORGAN MUSIC CEASES]

Do you take this woman to be your wife,

to love and to cherish for all of your life?

PAUL: I do.

MINISTER: Do you take this man to be your husband,

to love and to cherish for all of your life?

ISABEL: I do.

The rings, please.

With this ring, I pledge you my never-ending love.

ISABEL: With this ring, I pledge you my never-ending love.

In accordance with the laws of the State of Connecticut,

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

[♪♪♪]

[WEDDING RECESSIONAL PLAYING ON ORGAN]

Perfect couple, don't you think?

Perfect couple.

[♪♪♪]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

Wendy, I'm so sorry that Herb couldn't make it to the wedding.

Well, he had to go to a dental convention. Heh!

Of course, he might have come

if his wife had been matron of honor.

You know, your oldest and dearest friend,

a woman who stood by you through two children

and one divorce.

But Angela looks lovely,

although peach is my color.

She's taking it a lot better than I thought.

[ALL EXCLAIMING]

This is so beautiful.

I've forgotten how wonderful weddings can be.

It's almost like there's love in the air.

Aw, come on, Angela. That was-- That was Pine-Sol.

So, um, Angela, did that trip down the aisle

give you any ideas? Yeah, what do you say?

We've got the hall for the rest of the evening.

Oh, hey, what is it with every guy that gets married?

The minute they get married,

they wanna marry every other guy off they know.

Well, misery loves company.

[GASPS] Paul! Oh!

Looks like the honeymoon's over.

[ALL CHUCKLING] See ya later.

Hey, I think I'm gonna go down to the old hors d'oeuvre table.

Ooh! Huh?

Want me to bring you some shrimp puffs?

Would you? And some...

Little egg rolls? Yeah.

And... I'm gonna leave it up to you.

You probably know what I like as well as I do.

Better.

Boy, I'm stuffed.

I can't eat another bite.

May I take that, sir? We're starting dinner soon.

Dinner? Why didn't anyone tell me?

Oh! [BOTH CHUCKLE]

It's not all for me. [CHUCKLES]

Your wife sent you?

Oh, well, yeah, but no, she's not my wife.

This was our first trip down the aisle.

Oh, so you are with her?

Who, Angela?

Is that her name?

No. I mean-- I mean, yeah,

that's her name. I mean, her name's Angela.

But I'm not with her, I'm sort of with her, heh.

Modern women... Never quite know where you stand, huh?

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

I'm Geoffrey Wells.

Nice to meet you, Jeff. That's Geoffrey, with a "G."

Hi, I'm Tony, with a "T."

Uh, you're all alone, huh?

Shows, huh? It's the plate.

You know, nothing's sadder than hors d'oeuvres for one.

Well, I guess I'm still looking for the right woman.

Where is that perfect combination of attractiveness,

intelligence, sensitivity and humor, huh?

Table six. Hah, hah.

WENDY: You want another rumaki?

Oh, maybe just one.

I'll pay you back when Tony gets here.

Thank you so much.

And, uh, I promise,

the first bunny hop is yours.

Oh. Sorry it took me so long. Oh!

You must be starving, huh? Aw, me? Don't be silly.

Oh, hi. I'm Tony Micelli.

Oh, this is Fred and Ginger.

Not the Fred and Ginger.

[ALL LAUGH]

Thanks for clearing that up.

[ALL LAUGH]

They're Isabel's cousins from Buffalo.

Oh, well, then you must be very happy.

Oh, yes, we love Buffalo.

Uh, Tony, you didn't bring Angela any rumaki.

Angela doesn't like rumaki. I love it.

Well, you never eat it when I make it.

Uh-oh.

Well, sometimes the liver's a little dry.

My liver's dry? Tony,

I don't think this is the place.

Oh, sure. Tell a guy you hate his liver, then drop it.

He's very sensitive about his organs.

So how long you two been together? Heh-heh-heh!

Two years. You'd think you'd know a person.

Well, marriage is like that. Heh-heh-heh.

Full of surprises. [BOTH LAUGH]

Oh, they're not married.

They just live together and raise each other's children.

Well, maybe you should get married. Fred, shh!

Think of the kids.

What do they tell their little friends.

I believe the minister's still here.

Perhaps he'd give you a discount.

Two sacred vows for the price of one.

[CHUCKLING]

And if you act right now, we'll throw in a matron of honor.

[ALL LAUGH]

Would you like to dance, Angela? I'd love to.

Excuse us, won't you?

[♪♪♪]

I guess we did sound a little like a married couple.

Heh, heh. Yeah.

Hey, what about that trip down the aisle, huh?

Man, that was weird.

Certainly was. [CHUCKLES]

What do you mean, "weird"?

I don't know. I mean, nothing bad, heh.

Just...

Weird. Yeah.

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

[IN UNISON] Have you...?

[CHUCKLES] Go ahead.

No, no, no, please. No, go ahead.

No, no, you. No, you. Go ahead.

Angela, speak. Okay.

I-- I was just...wondering if you ever...

thought about getting married again.

Huh! That's funny, because that's what I was gonna ask you.

No. Yeah.

Well, hav-- Have you ever thought about it?

Me? Yeah.

Not really.

How 'bout you?

Well...

No. Never.

Well, I admit, I might have had a...

You know, a thought cross my mind every once in a while.

But you can't hold a guy responsible

for every thought that ever crosses his mind.

I mean, hey, he'd get arrested before he was out of puberty.

[BOTH LAUGH]

I, uh...

...may have had a stray thought or two in my time.

Yeah, well, you know.

Let me ask you, um...

You know, while your thoughts were straying,

how far did they go?

Well, they, um...

...might have gone down the bridal path, but, uh...

...only with the right person.

Yeah.

Only with the right person.

[MUSIC STOPS]

Hey, you guys!

Yes, honey.

The band's taking a break.

Huh. Then I-- Heh. I guess we should stop dancin'.

Thanks. Excuse us.

I am so embarrassed.

Don't be.

Look, they're probably just losing their hearing.

Uh, sorry if I made you two uncomfortable.

I-- I'm a today kind of guy. [CHUCKLES]

We can see that, Fred.

I mean, if you two wanna live together,

it's no skin off of my nose.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, that's, that's real big of you there, Freddie, heh,

but we don't really live together,

at least not the way you think. I'm Angela's housekeeper.

Uh, oh. Well then, I guess

marriage is out of the question.

Hold it right there, Ginge.

As you well know, good husbands are hard to find.

[FRED CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

Especially ones who do windows.

[ALL LAUGH]

Oh, well, then again I guess it might be nice

having a husband who didn't work.

FRED: Well, I wouldn't mind living off of the little lady for a while,

as long as my allowance was big enough.

[CHUCKLING] Right, Tony?

Anyone try the cracked crab?

Excuse me, but if you think

Tony doesn't work for a living,

you are sorely mistaken. Oh, no, Angela, please.

Lighten up. I don't need you to defend me.

I'm not defending you. I simply wanna point out

that you have a very challenging job.

[TONY GROANS]

Takes a lot of know-how, and organizational skills

to be an effective housekeeper.

Stuffed mushrooms, anyone?

Tony works hard. He works damn hard.

And he has the dishpan hands to prove it.

Wendy, he does not. He wears rubber gloves.

[FRED & GINGER LAUGH]

Well, I guess that's part of the know-how.

[FRED LAUGHS]

I think I could use a refill.

You wanna get me one too, Tony?

Sorry, Fred.

It's my day off.

More champagne, sir?

Champagne's not exactly my style.

You got a beer around here?

I'll check with the chef.

Thanks a lot.

[♪♪♪]

Can I talk to you?

Sure. Talk.

I'm sorry about what I said back there. I didn't mean it.

I mean, I-- I did mean it,

it's just that when I heard myself saying it,

I-I just couldn't believe

that I was saying it s-so badly.

Sort of like right now. [CHUCKLES]

Exactly.

The whole thing was so awkward.

Now, look, let's just forget about it.

They were just joking around.

I don't think it was very funny.

Are you kidding me, come on?

What's funnier than marrying your housekeeper?

That's not what I meant.

Come on, let's think about it.

A big success like you...

Who wouldn't get a kick out of that?

Tony, just because I'm a success

doesn't mean I'm a snob.

I don't give a fig newton what people say.

Angela, watch your language.

Now, let's face it.

We both gave a little fig.

Yeah.

[SMACKS GUMS] Hey, what are we--

What are we talking about marriage for, anyway?

I mean, what is it with weddings, huh?

They make people crazy.

You-- You think it's crazy?

Sure.

Don't you?

Sure.

[BAND MEMBER TAPS ON DRUMS]

WENDY: All right, all right, all you lucky single women,

gather 'round.

Time to scramble for the bouquet.

Hey, look, tomorrow the newlyweds

will be on their honeymoon,

and we can stop thinking

about this weddings and stuff, huh?

Ab-absolutely.

[SIGHS]

Excuse me.

You look like an attractive, intelligent, sensitive woman.

[CHUCKLES] Well, you're very perceptive.

Good sense of humor too.

May I add "good dancer" to the list?

Well...

I don't know.

Well, sure. You're a great dancer.

Go ahead, show 'em.

Look, I understand if you're in the middle of something.

No, no, no, it's okay. We're through.

Yes.

I guess we are.

Thanks, Tony.

I think I owe you a finder's fee on this one.

We are going to look great on the dance floor.

[LAUGHS]

Don't be too sure. Fred and Ginger are out there.

Tony?

Everything okay?

Sure, Mona.

You know the old saying, right?

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

Hey, Mone, care to dance? I'd love to.

These feet will never dance again.

Here, let me.

So let me ask you,

are you gonna see Geoffrey with a "G" again?

Mm, probably.

Friday night. Dinner and a Broadway show.

Well, I think it's great you're seeing other people.

I think I should be seeing people.

We both should be seeing people.

Not the same people. [LAUGHS] Right.

Different people.

[SIGHS]

Oh, Tony, you're so good.

[♪♪♪]