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1
00:00:01,201 --> 00:00:03,370
[jjj]
2
00:00:06,873 --> 00:00:09,909
♪ There's a time for love
And a time for living ♪
3
00:00:09,909 --> 00:00:12,645
♪ You take a chance
And face the wind ♪
4
00:00:12,645 --> 00:00:16,149
♪ An open road
And a road that's hidden ♪
5
00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:19,853
♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪
6
00:00:25,158 --> 00:00:27,927
♪ Nights are long
But you might awaken ♪
7
00:00:27,927 --> 00:00:31,097
♪ To a brand new life
Brand-new life ♪
8
00:00:31,097 --> 00:00:35,668
♪ A brand new life
Around the bend ♪
9
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:40,040
[jjj]
10
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:43,376
♪ Drinkin' rum
And Coca-Cola ♪
11
00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:46,279
♪ Go down Point Koomahnah ♪
12
00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:49,249
♪ Both mother
And daughter ♪
13
00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:51,684
♪ Workin'
For the Yankee dollar ♪
14
00:00:51,684 --> 00:00:53,553
[GRUNTING]
15
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,155
Get-- Ow! Ugh.
16
00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:56,856
Ow.
17
00:00:56,856 --> 00:00:59,559
All right, now you're really
getting me mad.
18
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,327
Hey, knock it off.
19
00:01:01,327 --> 00:01:03,963
Why are you sitting
on my brother?
20
00:01:03,963 --> 00:01:05,799
Hi, Mona. How was your day?
21
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:06,900
BOY:
Ow. Ow.
22
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,701
Beat it, you big bully.
Ow, ow, ow.
23
00:01:08,701 --> 00:01:09,702
Why don't you go home
24
00:01:09,702 --> 00:01:11,304
and help your mother
set the table?
25
00:01:14,674 --> 00:01:17,777
Well, I guess I showed him.
26
00:01:17,777 --> 00:01:20,080
Yeah. His fist couldn't take
much more.
27
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,881
Well, he said you kissed
Jimmy Wilson
28
00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:23,850
in the backseat
of his father's Hudson.
29
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:26,519
That's not true.
30
00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:27,987
It was a Studebaker.
31
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,724
MOTHER:
Mona! Cornelius!
32
00:01:31,724 --> 00:01:35,795
Time to wash up for dinner.
33
00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:36,796
All right.
34
00:01:36,796 --> 00:01:39,199
♪ Go down Point Koomahnah ♪
35
00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:42,001
♪ Both mother
And daughter ♪
36
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:46,272
You won't tell Mom
I've been fighting, will you?
37
00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:47,407
Depends.
38
00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:50,210
[SCOFFS]
What do you want money for now?
39
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:52,512
Betty Grable bathing suit.
40
00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:54,214
[GIGGLES]
41
00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:55,682
How will you hold it up?
42
00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:58,718
Mom, guess what Cornelius--
43
00:01:58,718 --> 00:02:00,386
Okay, okay, okay.
44
00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:02,989
It's a deal.
45
00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:05,024
Deal.
46
00:02:05,024 --> 00:02:06,025
Cornball.
47
00:02:06,025 --> 00:02:08,361
Don't call me that.
48
00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,663
You don't know
who you're fooling with.
49
00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:13,633
Who? Superman?
50
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,668
Yeah.
51
00:02:15,668 --> 00:02:19,372
Up, up and away!
52
00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:25,145
So you can fly. Big deal.
53
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,647
Hey, watch out for the barn!
54
00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,349
[BANGING]
55
00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:36,189
Oh, brother.
56
00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:40,827
And then the dumb alarm
went off.
57
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:41,828
[GIGGLES]
58
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,563
That was a great dream,
Mona.
59
00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:45,532
What do you think it meant?
60
00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:47,834
I think it was one of those
sibling rivalry,
61
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,036
wish-fulfillment things,
you know? Heh.
62
00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:51,504
That or the burrito
63
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,306
I wolfed down at midnight.
Heh.
64
00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:54,841
[TONY CHUCKLING]
65
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,010
I guess
I've always seen Cornelius
66
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,612
as someone
who aimed for the stars.
67
00:02:59,612 --> 00:03:01,781
Heh. Well, at least
he hit the broadside of a barn.
68
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:02,715
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
69
00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:04,984
Mother.
70
00:03:04,984 --> 00:03:06,753
Mother, I put together
a care package.
71
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,054
Oh, well, thank you, dear,
72
00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:10,290
but I'm only going to New York
for the weekend.
73
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,524
No,
it's for Uncle Cornelius.
74
00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:13,359
I thought after all that time
in the service,
75
00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:16,129
that he might enjoy some things
like a little bowtie,
76
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:19,299
see, and a golf cap, hmm,
and...
77
00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:21,868
Oh, a Hawaiian shirt. Huh?
78
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:22,969
And, uh...
79
00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:24,504
Argyle socks.
Gee,
80
00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:26,339
he'll be the best-dressed guy
in Manhattan.
81
00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:28,208
[CHUCKLES]
82
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,543
Mona,
you must be so excited.
83
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,612
How long has it been
since you two got together?
84
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:34,614
Well, it must be
over three years.
85
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:37,317
Gee, Mona, that's a long time
not to see your own brother.
86
00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:39,052
No, it's just about right.
87
00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:45,858
[♪♪♪]
88
00:03:50,129 --> 00:03:53,566
Alrighty,
here you go, folks.
89
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:54,901
Here are your vouchers.
90
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,370
Now, they entitle you
to a window seat on the bus
91
00:03:57,370 --> 00:04:01,174
and a free
"I love New York" visor.
92
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,309
Adjustable. Ha, ha.
93
00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:04,944
Here we go, right this way.
94
00:04:04,944 --> 00:04:07,947
Now, you can tell the driver
Don West sent you.
95
00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:10,149
He'll take real good care
of you.
96
00:04:10,149 --> 00:04:12,619
Do we get to see
the Statue of Liberty?
97
00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:14,487
What for?
It's on every postcard.
98
00:04:14,487 --> 00:04:17,290
Believe me, you're gonna have
a great time in the South Bronx.
99
00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:22,495
We are the world.
100
00:04:24,163 --> 00:04:25,298
Ah!
101
00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:27,500
I just love helping people.
102
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:29,302
And getting a $10 kickback.
103
00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:31,137
I love that too.
104
00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:32,605
Don, you have no class.
105
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:33,873
Oh, no?
106
00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:35,642
Well, uh...
107
00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:36,976
check it out.
108
00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:39,379
What do you say, Kitty,
you and me, tonight,
109
00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:41,114
opening of the ballet?
110
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,583
Then we drop back to my place
and have some real fun.
111
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:45,285
Will you get it
through your head?
112
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,619
I am not your type.
113
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:49,555
I'm not a pushover.
I'm not one of your bimbos.
114
00:04:49,555 --> 00:04:51,057
But you can change.
115
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,826
[SCOFFS]
116
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,033
Oh!
117
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:02,135
Here we are at last. Ahem.
118
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,837
Welcome to the Nottingham.
119
00:05:04,837 --> 00:05:06,873
You know what,
they once made a movie here.
120
00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:09,275
What was it? The Shining.
121
00:05:10,943 --> 00:05:11,978
Guest alert.
122
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,046
[DESK BELL DINGS]
123
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,214
Now, enjoy your stay here,
and, uh, ahem,
124
00:05:15,214 --> 00:05:17,817
if a pigeon gets caught
in your room,
125
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,952
they like to be scratched.
126
00:05:19,952 --> 00:05:21,187
Right here.
127
00:05:22,722 --> 00:05:24,290
Uh-huh. Heh.
128
00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:25,491
Hi.
Hi.
129
00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:26,592
I'm Kitty McClaren,
130
00:05:26,592 --> 00:05:27,694
and I'm here to welcome you
131
00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:29,295
and make your stay
a pleasant one.
132
00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:30,330
Oh, good.
133
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,999
I'd like a room,
without a pigeon.
134
00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:36,235
Oh, you're Mona Robinson.
135
00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:38,237
Mona Robinson?
136
00:05:38,237 --> 00:05:40,406
Welcome.
I'm the concierge,
137
00:05:40,406 --> 00:05:42,975
and your wish is my command.
138
00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:46,179
I have this effect on men.
139
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,049
Mona?
140
00:05:50,049 --> 00:05:51,184
Cornelius!
141
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,185
BOTH:
Oh!
142
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,986
Mona.
MONA: Oh.
143
00:05:53,986 --> 00:05:55,722
[CORNELIUS CHUCKLING
AND MONA SMOOCHES]
144
00:05:55,722 --> 00:05:57,323
You look great.
145
00:05:57,323 --> 00:05:59,158
A little thinner up here,
Yeah.
146
00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:00,893
a little thicker down here.
Whoa.
147
00:06:00,893 --> 00:06:02,295
Well, you're looking fit.
148
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:03,296
A little flamboyant,
149
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:04,797
but I lost that battle
years ago.
150
00:06:04,797 --> 00:06:07,266
You certainly did, Cornball.
151
00:06:07,266 --> 00:06:08,267
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
152
00:06:08,267 --> 00:06:09,936
[MOUTHS]
Cornball?
153
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:11,871
Don't call me that.
154
00:06:14,006 --> 00:06:15,975
Well?
Well, what?
155
00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:18,611
Well, I cannot wait
another minute.
156
00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:20,446
What is the big surprise?
157
00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:21,914
You're standing in it.
158
00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:24,817
No, no, no, I--
159
00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:29,689
I mean my hotel.
160
00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:31,858
Did you say your hotel?
161
00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:33,559
As in you bought it?
162
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:36,362
Heh. Yeah, lock, stock
and bed sheets.
163
00:06:36,362 --> 00:06:38,364
Do you like it?
164
00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:40,400
Well, it's, uh...
165
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:44,003
It's really something. Heh.
166
00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:45,538
Yeah,
that's what all the guests say.
167
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:47,140
MONA:
Ah.
168
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:50,209
This is the worst hotel
I have ever stayed in.
169
00:06:50,209 --> 00:06:52,812
I'm terribly sorry,
Mrs. Padnick.
170
00:06:52,812 --> 00:06:54,847
Why don't I give you
another night at no charge?
171
00:06:54,847 --> 00:06:56,616
No. No, not another night.
172
00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:02,255
Excuse me. I am the owner.
173
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,623
How may I help you?
174
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:05,191
We've been here three days,
175
00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:09,128
I had a shower in cold water,
and we never saw a maid.
176
00:07:09,128 --> 00:07:11,931
I had to walk five blocks
to Woolworth's to buy a towel.
177
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:13,266
Oh, no.
178
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:16,002
There's a Pick 'n Save
right around the corner.
179
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,372
Please try to understand.
180
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:21,040
We're still working out
the bugs.
181
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,442
And that's another thing.
182
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,143
Come on, Irwin.
183
00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:28,781
I don't get it.
184
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:32,185
Some people don't appreciate
a fine hotel.
185
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:36,656
Well,
call me crazy, Cornelius,
186
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:38,391
but if you buy a hotel,
187
00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:40,393
shouldn't you know something
about running it?
188
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:42,962
I do.
189
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:48,568
This is the perfect business
for a retired military officer.
190
00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:50,803
You billet the troops,
you run the mess hall,
191
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:52,271
you live on the base,
192
00:07:52,271 --> 00:07:56,142
and best of all,
everyone wears a uniform.
193
00:07:56,142 --> 00:08:00,246
Well, why didn't you just buy
West Point?
194
00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:03,382
You know, I don't understand
your attitude.
195
00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:05,418
I mean, you're the one
who always said,
196
00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:07,820
"Loosen up.
You know, take a chance."
197
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,322
I did.
198
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:12,525
I thought you,
you of all people,
199
00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:14,126
would be happy for me.
200
00:08:14,126 --> 00:08:16,529
Well...
201
00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:19,298
if this is what you want,
I am.
202
00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:21,467
You mean it?
203
00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:23,002
Of course I do.
204
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,071
I am happy for you.
205
00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:26,072
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
206
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:27,406
Good. Heh.
207
00:08:27,406 --> 00:08:28,641
I'm happy you're happy.
208
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:30,443
Aw.
209
00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,778
And we'll be happy all the way
to the bank.
210
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,014
We?
211
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:36,082
Yeah.
212
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:38,417
Yes,
that's the other surprise.
213
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:40,486
I put your savings in it
too.
214
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:46,659
You put my savings
in this rat hole?
215
00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:49,328
Mona.
Get a grip on yourself.
216
00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:50,396
[GROANS]
217
00:08:50,396 --> 00:08:51,697
I'm telling you
that this hotel
218
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:52,999
is a model of efficiency.
219
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:54,233
[WHISTLE BLOWING]
220
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:56,068
Taxi!
221
00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:00,873
Missed my stop again.
222
00:09:02,441 --> 00:09:04,110
Oh, brother.
223
00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:12,285
How could you do
such a thing?
224
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:15,555
I mean, what on earth
were you thinking about?
225
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,689
Your future.
226
00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:19,759
As what? A bag lady?
227
00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:22,662
It only needed
a few minor repairs.
228
00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:24,597
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
229
00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:33,239
Here we are.
230
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:36,642
And very close
to the second floor.
231
00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:39,478
I know.
We have a few problems,
232
00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:41,447
but I got a great deal.
233
00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:43,616
Good. Then you can give me
my money back.
234
00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:44,917
Oh, come on.
Give it a chance.
235
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,652
You haven't even seen
the roof garden yet.
236
00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:48,421
How do we get there?
Climb a rope?
237
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,890
Mona.
It's just like you, Mona.
238
00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:54,293
I'm willing to sit down
and talk logically.
239
00:09:54,293 --> 00:09:55,695
Oh, you want logic, hmm?
240
00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:58,698
A, this place is a dump.
B, you bought it.
241
00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:00,366
C, I hope it falls on you.
242
00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:05,304
Well,
I think I've made my point.
243
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,241
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
244
00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:10,476
MAN: Come on. No. No.
Aah!
245
00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:12,011
Come on, baby.
246
00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:14,747
Mama needs a new pair
of wedgies.
247
00:10:14,747 --> 00:10:16,449
Whoo! Oh, blow on these.
248
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,517
Woo-hoo! Here it goes.
249
00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:20,086
[SHRIEKING AND LAUGHING]
250
00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:22,221
Snake eyes.
I'll take that.
251
00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:25,091
Well, thanks for nothing.
Who invited you?
252
00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:26,892
Wait a minute.
253
00:10:26,892 --> 00:10:28,227
You're not a guest, are you?
254
00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:30,096
Uh, more like a hostage.
255
00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:31,964
Uh-oh. She is a guest.
Later.
256
00:10:34,066 --> 00:10:35,901
Give me a hand, will you?
257
00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:39,472
Oh, man, I'm getting too old
for this. Heh.
258
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:42,308
Yeah, a woman your age
should have her own crap table.
259
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:46,012
Uh, tell me something,
260
00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:49,982
does the owner know
about this little game?
261
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:52,852
Old Blood 'n Guts?
262
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:55,154
No, he's too busy
gluing ashtrays
263
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,223
to the nightstands.
264
00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:58,391
[CHUCKLES]
265
00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:01,560
Well, am I hallucinating
266
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,562
or, I mean,
is this room a knockout?
267
00:11:03,562 --> 00:11:05,164
It sure is. Heh.
268
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:06,966
That's why
I take my naps here.
269
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:08,300
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
270
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,536
Oh, I'm Tessie,
the head housekeeper.
271
00:11:10,536 --> 00:11:13,539
I'm Mona,
old Blood 'n Guts' sister.
272
00:11:13,539 --> 00:11:17,043
Oh, yeah,
I see the resemblance.
273
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:25,484
Tell me, Tessie,
are there more rooms like this?
274
00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:29,789
Yeah, but not in this hotel.
275
00:11:31,490 --> 00:11:34,860
Then why is this suite
so elegant?
276
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:38,631
Well, that Mr. Ratcliff,
he was the former owner,
277
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:41,400
he was a real
Don Juan Capistrano.
278
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,469
[CHUCKLING]
279
00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:47,339
He used to keep
his main squeeze here.
280
00:11:47,339 --> 00:11:49,875
Ooh, that sounds juicy.
281
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:50,876
Yeah. Heh.
282
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,012
Oh.
Then you're gonna love this.
283
00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:54,947
[TESSIE GIGGLING]
284
00:11:58,684 --> 00:12:00,386
I found her diary. Heh.
285
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:02,621
And it tells everything.
286
00:12:02,621 --> 00:12:03,689
[GIGGLING]
287
00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:05,291
We always knew
when they were up here
288
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:07,593
because the chandelier
in the lobby used to quiver.
289
00:12:07,593 --> 00:12:09,195
[BOTH LAUGHING]
290
00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:12,598
A diary, huh?
Heh.
291
00:12:12,598 --> 00:12:13,866
Well...
292
00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:16,535
you mind
if I take a look at this?
293
00:12:16,535 --> 00:12:18,938
Well, all right,
but I want it back.
294
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:22,308
I was thinking of selling it
to Judith Krantz.
295
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:26,011
Everything but a trapeze.
Heh.
296
00:12:26,011 --> 00:12:28,914
March 29th.
297
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:34,587
[WHISTLING]
298
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,322
Room service!
299
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,259
Coming.
300
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,667
Hi, Mrs. Robinson.
301
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:55,941
I'm Eddie, the bellhop.
302
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:58,711
Uh, doesn't the waiter
usually bring room service?
303
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:01,080
You're right.
I'm also Eddie, the waiter.
304
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,081
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
305
00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:03,182
See, your brother figured
306
00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:04,350
he'd give me the chance
307
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:06,719
to learn as many jobs
as I could at one time.
308
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:09,488
Gosh, that man
has so much knowledge.
309
00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:11,857
Yes, he's full of it. Heh.
Mm.
310
00:13:11,857 --> 00:13:13,893
Yeah.
311
00:13:13,893 --> 00:13:16,095
Oh.
Heh.
312
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,732
Here you go, Eddie.
This is for you.
313
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:21,333
Five bucks?
314
00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:23,302
That's the biggest tip
I ever got.
315
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,471
Are you sure
you're his sister?
316
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:29,108
Don't you see
the resemblance?
317
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:30,943
[SCOFFS]
No way.
318
00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:32,545
Here's another buck.
319
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:34,413
[CHUCKLES]
320
00:13:34,413 --> 00:13:35,815
[KNOCKS ON DOOR]
321
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,683
Well, I'd love to chat,
322
00:13:37,683 --> 00:13:39,552
but I have to get to work.
Oh.
323
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:40,986
Thank you, Eddie.
324
00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:42,788
Thank you, Mrs. Robinson.
325
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:45,724
You're the best.
326
00:13:50,262 --> 00:13:52,998
Mrs. Robinson?
I'm Jim Ratcliff.
327
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,367
Oh. Well, come in.
328
00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:57,603
[CHUCKLES]
329
00:13:57,603 --> 00:14:00,105
And, uh, call me Mona.
330
00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:01,240
Mona.
331
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,708
What a nice name.
332
00:14:02,708 --> 00:14:03,909
Old-fashioned
333
00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:05,678
but it's got a hint
of excitement. Heh.
334
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:09,648
That's me.
Jane Austen in a hot tub. Heh.
335
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:14,954
Thank you for coming
on such short notice.
336
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:17,790
Well, it's nice to visit
my old hotel.
337
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:20,626
I bet this room
brings back memories.
338
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:26,799
How can I help you?
339
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:30,436
Okay, now, here's the deal.
340
00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:34,974
You sold my brother a business
he does not know how to run.
341
00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:37,576
Now, I want you
to buy it back.
342
00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:40,913
Or you will leave me
with no choice
343
00:14:40,913 --> 00:14:43,616
but to show your wife this.
344
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:46,619
By the way, my compliments.
345
00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:49,855
Thank you.
346
00:14:49,855 --> 00:14:52,024
It beats a rowing machine.
347
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:56,662
Champagne?
348
00:14:56,662 --> 00:14:59,632
Well, I don't usually indulge
in the afternoon.
349
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:01,400
Ha!
350
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,409
[HUMMING]
351
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:12,978
If you're gonna do it,
do it right.
352
00:15:18,217 --> 00:15:21,820
So, what do you think
of my little scam?
353
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:23,222
Great execution.
354
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:26,592
The only problem
is my wife already knows.
355
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,227
Aw, rats.
356
00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:30,296
It was even in the tabloids.
357
00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:32,731
Hotel tycoon attacked
by wife
358
00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:35,334
as nude mistress
hangs from ledge.
359
00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:37,469
Was that you?
Mm.
360
00:15:37,469 --> 00:15:40,906
They always use
the worst picture, don't they?
361
00:15:40,906 --> 00:15:43,575
My wife left me
right after that.
362
00:15:43,575 --> 00:15:46,478
And my nude mistress did
too.
363
00:15:46,478 --> 00:15:49,481
So I'm afraid
this extortion thing
364
00:15:49,481 --> 00:15:50,749
is just a no-go.
365
00:15:50,749 --> 00:15:52,051
Sorry, Mona.
366
00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:55,187
Well, that's all right.
367
00:15:55,187 --> 00:15:58,257
It was my first blackmail.
368
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,328
And you were very gentle.
369
00:16:06,565 --> 00:16:09,101
And you're a charming woman.
370
00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:11,203
Maybe there's some way
I can help.
371
00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:12,471
Really?
372
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:16,175
All right, what are you
doing here, Ratcliff?
373
00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:19,044
Well, he was doing very well
till you showed up.
374
00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:21,347
What's the matter, Rockwell?
375
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:23,248
Are you afraid
I'm gonna steal an ashtray?
376
00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:25,551
Well, go ahead and try.
377
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,822
All right,
get out of my hotel.
378
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,056
Oh, you're talking
pretty big
379
00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:33,192
for a guy who's in hock
up to his eyebrows.
380
00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:34,560
In hock?
381
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,462
You're already late
on your first payment.
382
00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:37,563
Late?
383
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:38,897
You'll get your money,
don't worry.
384
00:16:38,897 --> 00:16:40,099
I don't have to worry.
385
00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:42,368
I can foreclose
any time I want.
386
00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:43,502
Foreclose?
387
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:45,204
Now you're really
getting me mad.
388
00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:48,073
Cornelius, this man
is trying to help us.
389
00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:49,375
Oh, I know how he helps.
390
00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:52,011
Yes, but not with my sister,
you don't.
391
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,179
All right, out.
392
00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:55,447
[CHUCKLING]
393
00:16:55,447 --> 00:16:56,682
Well,
let me show you the door.
394
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:57,816
Get your hands off me.
395
00:16:57,816 --> 00:16:59,151
Ah.
396
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:01,987
Don't push me.
397
00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:04,456
Hey.
398
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:07,459
Nobody pushes me.
399
00:17:07,459 --> 00:17:08,994
Don't touch me.
400
00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:09,995
Hey, come on.
401
00:17:09,995 --> 00:17:11,597
Oh! Oh, my goodness.
402
00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:12,598
[CORNELIUS MUMBLING]
403
00:17:12,598 --> 00:17:13,599
I'm sorry, Mona,
404
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,634
but if he ever reenlists,
call me.
405
00:17:15,634 --> 00:17:18,303
Oh.
Oh, Ugh.
406
00:17:18,303 --> 00:17:21,507
Cornelius,
you are such a handful.
407
00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:23,675
Here, sit down here. Sit.
408
00:17:23,675 --> 00:17:25,944
Let me take a look at that.
Mm. Mm.
409
00:17:25,944 --> 00:17:27,579
Ah.
Ugh.
410
00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:30,749
Mona. You know I have a low
pain threshold.
411
00:17:30,749 --> 00:17:33,652
More like a low brain
threshold.
412
00:17:35,187 --> 00:17:38,323
I'm sorry that this visit
didn't work out.
413
00:17:38,323 --> 00:17:41,326
I'm sorry that I invested
your money without asking.
414
00:17:41,326 --> 00:17:44,663
But I am not sorry
that bought this hotel.
415
00:17:44,663 --> 00:17:47,232
This represents
a whole new chapter in my life.
416
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:49,768
Does it have to be
chapter 11?
417
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,172
Look, all you see
are torn carpets,
418
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:55,474
dingy drapes,
and a broken elevator.
419
00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:57,776
Don't forget the sprinklers
in 310
420
00:17:57,776 --> 00:18:01,246
that go off
when you flush in 412.
421
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:03,048
Well,
you can't rush these things.
422
00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:06,318
You can if you're in 412.
Uh...
423
00:18:06,318 --> 00:18:08,087
It's on the list.
424
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,888
I know, I know,
it's a long list,
425
00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:12,791
but this hotel used to be great.
Argh.
426
00:18:12,791 --> 00:18:14,793
And it could be great again.
427
00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:16,962
Look at this.
428
00:18:16,962 --> 00:18:20,132
This is a picture
of the Nottingham
429
00:18:20,132 --> 00:18:22,601
when she was young
and beautiful.
430
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:28,307
Look, they had cotillions,
and balls, tea dances.
431
00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:32,277
This was the finest hotel
in town.
432
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,247
Oh, look,
433
00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:38,517
there's a string quartet
in the lobby.
434
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:41,320
Oh, that man certainly
has a nice fiddle.
435
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,088
Oh, don't be naughty.
436
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,925
Cornelius,
437
00:18:46,925 --> 00:18:50,529
really it wasn't
such a bad visit.
438
00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:54,366
You were very sweet
to invite me down. Hmm.
439
00:18:54,366 --> 00:18:57,336
And this room is charming.
Heh.
440
00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:58,837
Don't worry about the money.
441
00:18:58,837 --> 00:19:01,140
You'll pay me back someday.
442
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,074
Or else.
443
00:19:03,742 --> 00:19:05,043
Oh. Mm.
444
00:19:05,043 --> 00:19:06,945
Here, here, hold that there.
445
00:19:06,945 --> 00:19:08,013
All right.
446
00:19:08,013 --> 00:19:10,382
Now, just sit here
and try to stop bleeding,
447
00:19:10,382 --> 00:19:12,084
and I'll get you some ice.
Okay.
448
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:13,986
Don't worry.
449
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,388
You'll think of something,
hmm?
450
00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:20,125
Just keep your chin up.
451
00:19:20,125 --> 00:19:21,560
[SIGHS]
452
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,132
[CORNELIUS SNIFFLES]
453
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:41,280
[♪♪♪]
454
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,293
[GRUNTING]
455
00:19:56,295 --> 00:19:57,796
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
456
00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:05,671
Mona. Hi.
Oh, there you are.
457
00:20:05,671 --> 00:20:06,905
Hello, Kitty.
458
00:20:06,905 --> 00:20:09,408
Uh, could you send a bucket
of ice up to my suite?
459
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:11,443
Sure.
Are you having a party?
460
00:20:11,443 --> 00:20:13,178
Hardly. Heh.
461
00:20:13,178 --> 00:20:17,783
You know,
in a twisted kind of way,
462
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,651
I'm gonna miss this place.
463
00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:21,620
You're not leaving, are you?
464
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:23,956
Well, I was only meant
to be here for the weekend.
465
00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:26,258
I know, but I was thinking
you might wanna stick around.
466
00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:28,227
I kind of saw you
as the Great Red Hope.
467
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,228
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
468
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,662
And, you know, Mona,
469
00:20:30,662 --> 00:20:33,165
I think your brother feels
the same way.
470
00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:35,367
Oh, come on.
He'll be glad to be rid of me.
471
00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:36,868
I don't think so.
472
00:20:36,868 --> 00:20:39,171
I could have booked your suite
for the rest of the month,
473
00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:40,439
but he wouldn't let me.
474
00:20:41,506 --> 00:20:44,243
Do you mean
that that old cheapskate
475
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,510
would do that for me?
476
00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:46,845
It's amazing, isn't it?
477
00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:48,480
[BOTH LAUGH]
478
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:51,850
You know, Kitty,
I might need a little favor.
479
00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:53,652
Do you have any plans
for this evening?
480
00:20:53,652 --> 00:20:58,290
No. Oh, but you've got to swear
you won't tell Don.
481
00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:04,763
[CHUCKLES]
482
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:08,667
[♪♪♪]
483
00:21:11,336 --> 00:21:14,039
Up and at 'em, Flyboy,
0600.
484
00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:18,277
Gonna lay around in bed
all day? Come on.
485
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:19,378
What's going on here?
486
00:21:19,378 --> 00:21:21,713
We need you downstairs.
487
00:21:21,713 --> 00:21:22,914
Come on. March.
488
00:21:22,914 --> 00:21:25,150
I'm-- I got--
I'm in my jammies.
489
00:21:25,150 --> 00:21:27,919
Oh, hut, hut.
Hut, two, three, four.
490
00:21:27,919 --> 00:21:29,855
[PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC]
491
00:21:47,105 --> 00:21:48,340
[CORNELIUS GASPS]
492
00:21:48,340 --> 00:21:52,010
Well, what do you think
of the old girl now?
493
00:21:52,010 --> 00:21:54,146
It looks
just like the picture.
494
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:55,914
[MONA CHUCKLES]
495
00:21:55,914 --> 00:21:56,848
[GASPS]
496
00:21:58,216 --> 00:21:59,217
Great uniforms.
497
00:21:59,217 --> 00:22:00,752
[CHUCKLES]
498
00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:03,488
How did you do all this?
499
00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:06,391
This friend of mine in Jersey
is an interior decorator,
500
00:22:06,391 --> 00:22:08,593
and a Teamster.
501
00:22:08,593 --> 00:22:12,564
It was Mrs. Robinson's idea,
but we all pitched in.
502
00:22:12,564 --> 00:22:15,701
You are such a suck-up.
503
00:22:15,701 --> 00:22:19,004
Well, you can send it all back
because I-- I can't pay for it.
504
00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:20,772
No, no,
I paid for it, Cornelius.
505
00:22:20,772 --> 00:22:23,175
It is not going to cost
you a nickel.
506
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:25,110
Why?
507
00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:26,645
Why did you do this?
508
00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:28,680
Because you wouldn't.
509
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,450
And, uh,
if we're going to succeed
510
00:22:31,450 --> 00:22:32,751
in the hotel business,
511
00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:34,353
we have got to do it right.
512
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:35,354
We?
513
00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:37,222
That's right. We.
514
00:22:37,222 --> 00:22:40,325
A girl has got to protect
her investment, hasn't she?
515
00:22:40,325 --> 00:22:43,261
Look, you've got my money,
so now you've got me. Heh.
516
00:22:43,261 --> 00:22:45,464
Oh, Mona.
517
00:22:51,770 --> 00:22:53,238
Well, ahem,
518
00:22:53,238 --> 00:22:56,208
there may be room
for a silent partner
519
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:57,376
in this establishment.
520
00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:59,144
Me? Silent?
521
00:22:59,144 --> 00:23:01,246
No way. Heh.
522
00:23:01,246 --> 00:23:02,247
That's what I thought.
523
00:23:02,247 --> 00:23:03,448
MONA:
Hmm...
524
00:23:04,516 --> 00:23:05,851
So?
525
00:23:05,851 --> 00:23:06,852
So? So what?
526
00:23:06,852 --> 00:23:09,020
So do we have a deal
or what?
527
00:23:16,928 --> 00:23:18,296
Deal.
528
00:23:19,364 --> 00:23:21,366
ALL:
Yeah!
529
00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:24,903
All right.
530
00:23:32,277 --> 00:23:34,246
Come on, bro, let's boogie.
531
00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:35,747
No, no. No, no, no,
532
00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:37,282
we're not gonna boogie
in this lobby.
533
00:23:37,282 --> 00:23:38,784
I'm not gonna scuff up
these floors.
534
00:23:38,784 --> 00:23:40,118
Stop the music!
535
00:23:40,118 --> 00:23:42,621
Now, everyone disperse
and return to your stations.
536
00:23:42,621 --> 00:23:43,889
We have a hotel to
run.
537
00:23:43,889 --> 00:23:45,991
CHEF: Right away, Mr. Robinson.
TESSIE: Yes, sir.
538
00:23:55,734 --> 00:23:58,036
Okay, guys, hit it.
539
00:23:58,036 --> 00:23:59,971
[PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC]
540
00:24:06,344 --> 00:24:08,246
CORNELIUS:
Mona!
541
00:24:08,246 --> 00:24:10,582
I know what you're doing.
542
00:24:18,423 --> 00:24:22,360
[jjj]
543
00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:48,420
Closed Captions:
Katie Radford
36194
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