Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

♪ There's a time for love And a time for living ♪

♪ You take a chance And face the wind ♪

♪ An open road And a road that's hidden ♪

♪ A brand new life Around the bend ♪

♪ There were times ♪

♪ I lost a dream or two ♪

♪ Found the trail And at the end was you ♪

♪ There's a path you take And a path not taken ♪

♪ The choice is up to you My friend ♪

♪ The nights are long But you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand new life ♪

♪ Brand new life ♪

♪ A brand new life Around the bend ♪

Listen, Dad, this one's tough.

Two trains are a mile and a half apart.

Train A is traveling at three- fourths the speed of train B.

They'll collide in four and a half minutes

How fast is each train going?

Well, I don't know, but it sounds

like the passengers have a great lawsuit.

Ah. Ahem. Thank you.

[CHUCKLES]

Come on, Dad. How am I supposed to figure this out?

Hey, Samantha, I could tell you this in a hot second,

but that's not gonna do you any good.

I'm not one of these parents

that does their kids' homework for them.

Couldn't hack it, huh?

I blanked out right after train A.

Oh, I forgot English was always your best subject.

You ain't just whistlin' Dixie there, mama. Ha.

Angela, what are you doing here?

I thought you were driving to the mountains today

with what's his face.

It's Geoffrey. He's not here yet.

Oh, his train must be late.

Perhaps it was train A.

Angela, you're about to go on a romantic date.

Why are you eating onion dip?

Well, the truth is, Mother, I'm a little nervous.

You see, Geoffrey said that he has something

very important to ask me,

something that would affect both our futures.

Mother,

I have this feeling he's going to pop the question.

Have some more dip, dear.

All right, Mother. I know how you feel about Geoffrey.

I thought I covered my contempt rather well.

No, you never actually spit on him.

Hmm.

Mother, come on. Geoffrey's a wonderful catch.

He's successful and handsome, and intelligent,

and witty and...

What else could I possibly want in a man?

Passion, spontaneity... Lust.

Train A and train B are about a mile and a half apart, right?

Now, train A is moving

three-fourths as fast as train B.

[IMITATING TRAIN]

No, no, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute,

it was train B is moving three-fourth as fast as tr--

Ah, take the bus.

[RHYTHMIC KNOCKING]

Come on in, Geoffrey, it's open.

Hey, Tony, my main man, huh? Hey.

Ah, ah, power shake, huh?

Right on there, soul buddy.

Angela. Hi, Geoffrey.

Hi, Angela.

[ANGELA GASPS]

Must be a new one. She is so hip.

Yeah, I think she's gonna host Saturday Night Live.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Tony, uh, are you busy?

Well, I-- I, was gonna go weigh myself. Heh, heh.

Can that wait? Ha.

Tony, uh, I'd kind of like to talk to you. Just guy to guy.

Oh. Sure, what's up, guy? Ha.

Me. Tony, you know, I have given some serious thought

to our relationship and where it's going.

Aw, but Geoffrey, I haven't even met your parents yet.

Come on, Tony. I'm talking about Angela and me.

I-I have made a decision that could affect our future.

Oh?

Yeah. I-I am going to ask Angela to join me

in a timeshare in the Catskills.

Oy.

Tony, take a look at this place.

Listen. If-if-if Angela invests with me,

we could be spending wonderful weekends together

plus every fourth national holiday.

Oh, I hope you pull Flag Day. Heh, heh.

You, uh, you don't-- You don't think

I'm rushing the relationship too much, do you?

Oh, no. What, are you kidding me, Geoffrey?

Hey, you know what they say,

"Nothing ventured, nothing capital gained."

[BOTH LAUGHING]

I like that. I'm gonna use it.

I knew you would.

Hi. I'm all ready.

Your carriage awaits, my lady.

Ah, thank you, kind sir.

Off we go to frolic in yon forest.

[CHUCKLES]

Off I go to barf in yon basin.

Geoffrey, this is just beautiful.

It's just like you to pick the perfect setting.

That's right.

Solid as a rock.

Ha. Yes. Ha-ha-ha.

Angela, you and I have been seeing each other for, what now?

A hundred and sixteen days.

I think-- I think that it's time that we talk about our future.

Oh, you want to talk about that now?

Nothing ventured, nothing capital gained.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Oh, Geoffrey, you are so clever.

It just came to me.

Angela, we are perfect for one another.

We fit...just like this tongue and groove floor.

Tongue and groove?

What I'm trying to say, Angel...

No, no, Geoffrey, just wait.

[SIGHING]

Go ahead.

Angela, my love, will you be my partner in this timeshare?

[SCOFFS]

Timeshare? That-- That's what you're asking me?

Think about it, Angela.

Eighteen thousand dollars buys us a week

prime time in perpetuity.

But-but there's more to it than that.

We'll-we'll have a partnership, a joint account.

This will take our relationship to new levels of-of commitment,

and indebtedness. Angela, Angela, I know, I know,

I'm pushing, pushing kind of hard,

but I think our relationship can handle it.

Angela, not only will we have this wonderful cabin

in the mountains, but we'll have a terrific tax write-off.

What do you think? Angela?

Whoa!

You don't like the mountains?

How about a nice place at the beach?

[CROWD SHOUTING]

Mash 'em, bash 'em, hit 'em in the groin!

Boy, that Ted Koppel's getting better all the time.

Hey, what's with you, Mona?

You can't sleep?

Just thought I'd wait up and see how Angela's evening went.

Oh, you mean the big question

that Geoffrey's gonna ask her, huh?

You know?

Of course I know. What are you kidding me?

Me and Geoffrey are like this.

Wow, you seem to be taking it very well.

Doesn't it bother you?

Bother me? Why? Hey, if it doesn't work out,

she could put it right back on the market, hey.

I mean, you don't care if Angela gets married to Geoffrey?

Married? To Geoffrey?

Now wait a minute, wait a minute, Mona,

I think you have your signals crossed.

Geoffrey told me the question he's gonna ask her is

whether or not she wants to be his partner in a timeshare.

Yeah? Yeah.

Oh, no. Angela thought he was going to propose.

Oh, my poor, stupid baby.

Oh, she's going to come back here just totally crushed.

She's really gonna need somebody to talk to.

Good night, Tony.

Angela, would you at least talk to me?

I mean, you haven't said a word since you tried

to set me on fire.

What gives? What did I do that was so wrong?

Shh. Everyone's sleeping.

GEOFFREY [LOWER VOICE]: I-I took you to a romantic spot,

we had a wonderful gourmet dinner,

I made a terrific proposal, and I-I...

Oh, my God. You thought--

No, I didn't.

Oh, Angela, do you mean,

that you would actually consider a marriage proposal from me?

A few hours ago I might have.

Oh, that's wonderful.

I would love to marry you!

ANGELA: Well, I didn't ask you.

I'm asking you. I'll get down on one knee.

I'll get down on both knees.

Angela, I love you.

Will you marry me?

I have to think about it.

[GEOFFREY GASPS AND KISSES]

Oh, Angela, you've made me the happiest guy in the world.

Now I will leave so you can start thinking.

♪ In dreams I kiss Your hand, madame ♪

♪ Your dainty fingertips ♪

♪ And while In slumberland... ♪

[DOOR CLOSES]

[BOTH SCREAM]

Tony.

So, what's new?

[♪♪♪]

Well, I guess you heard everything.

Oh, no, no, uh, just the dainty fingertip song.

I heard that. And a little bit before that where--

Will you marry me. But that's it.

I didn't hear nothing else.

Well, you can imagine how surprised I was, heh.

Well, you don't need to imagine, you were right here.

I didn't mean to be right here.

You know, I could leave right now.

No, that's okay.

I'm...gonna go upstairs and get some sleep.

I-I'm gonna lock up.

Oh, good.

Angela? Yeah?

Good night.

[♪♪♪]

[STATIC HUMS]

WOMAN [ON TV]: Something very special--

[♪♪♪]

MAN [ON TV]: And high tide was at 4:18 today.

Low tide at 6:19.

High tide tomorrow will be at 4:19.

Low tide at 6:20.

Winds from the northeast at 15 to 20 knots.

And some swells with wave heights

up to 6 feet are expected.

[♪♪♪]

There's an upper level low-pressure system

developing which could lead

to possible late afternoon precipitation.

Late night fog. Visibility reduced to 1 mile.

And a small craft advisory will be in effect

from Manasquan to Cape...

JONATHAN: Hi, Mom.

Oh, well, hi, you two. Gee, you're up and out pretty early.

Sam invited me over to the pond

to play Crack the Whip with the big kids.

Oh. Um...

Sam, honey, would you mind if Jonathan caught up with you?

I need to talk to him for a minute.

Mmm, sure. I guess we could find somebody else to crack.

There, there. I want you to sit down, sweetheart.

I wanna talk to you about Geoffrey.

You mean, what's his face?

Jonathan.

Well, that's what Grandma calls him.

Never mind about Grandma.

Now-- Now, you tell me honey, do you--

Do you like Geoffrey?

Well, he's okay.

He never yells at me, and he gives me good investment advice.

Maybe you could spend more time with him?

You know, like pal around together,

go to baseball games, play catch...

I already do that stuff with Tony.

Well, maybe you could study the new tax laws together.

I already know them.

Oh. Heh, heh.

Can I go now, Mom?

My long johns are starting to itch.

Yeah, you go ahead. You have a good time.

[PHONE RINGING]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Uh...

Angela, the phone's ringing.

I know.

Hello. Yeah, oh, hi, hi, Geoffrey...

Yeah, she's, uh, she--

[INAUDIBLE]

Um, no, no, no, she-she's in the shower, Geoffrey. Yeah...

Uh, no, no, I'm not in there with her...

[LAUGHS]

Yeah, okay,

I'll tell her it's real important. Yeah. Okay, bye.

Guess who?

Well, I'm just not ready to talk to him yet.

I'm gonna make this decision

the way I make all my important decisions.

Eenie, Meenie, Miny, Moe?

No.

One potato, two potato? No!

No, I'm making a list. I'm putting all the pros

in one column and all the cons in the other.

Oh, well, it's good to keep them separate.

Ahem.

Let's see, ahem. He's neat, punctual,

belongs to the Audubon Society.

Ah, he's so witty.

Oh, I almost forgot. He's a great cook.

Geoffrey?

Yeah, actually, he's a better cook than I am.

Oh, now there's a bake-off I wouldn't wanna miss.

All right, now going over the cons column,

uh, the only thing I have so far is that

he over-indulges me. Um, what else.

Can't think of anything. Can you?

Well, I mean, just off the top of my head,

Is-- Well, is he--

Is he any good around the house? I mean,

is he gonna put laundry detergent in the dishwasher?

Of course he would. He knows what he's doing.

No, uh, Tony, I meant, um...

I meant more, uh, personal things.

You know, the-the kind of qualities

that you would look for in a husband.

Oh. Well, uh, so then,

how is he in the...

...garage?

The garage?

Yeah, you know, uh, a man... A man,

should be able to fulfill your automotive needs.

Well, there's no problem there. He has his own metric tool kit.

Well, looks like Geoffrey certainly has a lot to offer.

Hey, Angela, if this guy's such a great deal,

then why didn't you just say yes the first time?

Tony, you don't rush into these things.

You've got to think them through.

Oh, yeah, Angela? Well, maybe that's your problem.

See, you don't think these things, you feel them.

See, I remember when I asked Marie to marry me,

she didn't think.

She just yelled up to her parents up on the third floor,

"Hey, Ma! Hey, Pa! I'm marrying Tony!"

She didn't even care that I was playing class D ball

in some-- Some two-bit town,

and the owner's checks were bouncing.

Of course her father did, but-- But-- But she didn't.

She just jumped in my arms and said, "Yes."

You see, we didn't have to think things through.

We knew.

That's so sweet.

But it's just, it's different for me.

You know, you were young and foolish.

And in love.

Tony, love alone does not a marriage make.

Remind me to embroider that on a pillow.

Tony, what are you saying?

Hey, Angela, I'm not saying anything.

Tony, please.

Your opinion is important to me,

I-- Uh, I mean, as a friend.

Well, that's just it, Angela.

I'm not just a friend. I'm-- I'm your housekeeper.

Well...

Guess it's all down here in black and white.

And you know, now that I've made the decision, I feel great.

[COUGHING]

[HOARSELY] Thank you, Doctor.

Oh, well, what'd he say?

He said I have laryngitis.

And that I shouldn't talk.

I should stay in bed, I should get plenty of rest,

I should drink fluids, and I'll feel better in a couple of days.

He told me to come back and that I should--

Angela. Angela, shut up.

Doctor's orders.

[RHYTHMIC KNOCKING]

GEOFFREY: Angela. Are you decent?

TONY: Yeah.

GEOFFREY: You sound terrible.

Oh, Angel.

Hey, look, uh, Angela, if you need me, I'll be--

Oh, um, Geoffrey's here.

Are you okay? I was so worried when you didn't call.

I would have called you back,

but I didn't wanna seem too anxious,

so I rushed right over.

Hi. TONY: Hey, Mona.

Hey, uh, congratulations,

It looks like you're gonna be a mother-in-law again.

What?

That's right. Uh, they're up there right now.

He's proposing, and she's accepting.

Well, what are you doing down here?

Why aren't you breaking it up?

Mona, I can't do that. It's-- It's her life.

You're going to leave something as important as that up to her?

Well, Mona, if that's the way you feel,

how come you don't go up there and talk to her?

Tony, don't you know anything?

She's not going to listen to me.

I'm her mother.

Mona, I-I just don't-- This is not my place.

Sure it is. She trusts you.

She respects your opinion, I'll give you a hundred bucks.

Angela, I-I-I know you need time

to think about my proposal, and I-I don't wanna

pressure you, but I have to have your answer now.

[HOARSELY] Thank you for not pressuring me.

I'm going crazy. Just a simple yes or no.

Think about it. We're perfect for one another.

We have so many things in common.

See, I even made a list.

A list?

Yeah.

Here's your copy.

So, what do you say?

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Geoffrey, the answer is on!

I mean-- I mean, no, I can't marry you.

Well, I-I really didn't have to have an answer today.

Oh, Geoffrey, I'm afraid

the answer would be the same tomorrow.

You are a very special man,

but you don't get married to somebody

because it looks good on paper.

You want a somebody who'll leap into your arms and shout, "Yes."

No, I don't. I want you.

No. No, Geoffrey, you deserve

somebody who's gonna make you happy.

Aw, Angela, you make me happy. You're the one still searching.

I'm sorry.

We're not going to see each other again, are we?

Bye, Geoffrey.

I guess the timeshare's out of the question, huh?

[MOUTHS] Yeah.

[♪♪♪]

[KNOCKING]

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Tony. Tony. Ha, ha!

[GRUNTING]

Oh!

Oh, you must be freezing.

No, no, I'm-I'm-I'm fine, really. Really, I'm fine.

Nice day for window cleaning.

I see you got your voice back.

Yeah, it's a funny thing.

It came back to me when I was saying, "No."

So, you're, uh, you're not gonna marry him?

No.

[LAUGHING] All right.

And I'm not gonna see him anymore.

Gee, that-- That's a shame, because, you know,

he was such a nice guy, and so very witty. Heh, heh.

[LAUGHS]

If you thought he was such a nice guy,

how come you were out there

pleading with me not to marry him?

Oh, hey. Hey, ho, Angela.

I was not out there pleading.

You asked me to give you my advice,

and at the last second, I thought I'd give it to you.

I'm glad you did.

You think you made the right decision?

Tony, Tony, you don't think

about these things, you feel them.

Oh.

[♪♪♪]

Closed Captions: Sara Meyer