Original subtitles

["BRAND-NEW LIFE" PLAYING]

♪ There's a time for love And a time for living ♪

♪ You take a chance And face the wind ♪

♪ An open road And a road that's hidden ♪

♪ A brand-new life Around the bend ♪

♪ There were times ♪

♪ I lost a dream or two ♪

♪ I found the trail ♪

♪ And at the end was you ♪

♪ There's a path you take And a path not taken ♪

♪ The choice is up to you My friend ♪

♪ Nights are long But you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand-new life ♪

♪ Brand-new life ♪

♪ A brand-new life Around the bend ♪

[♪♪♪]

Chin up.

A little to the left.

Okay, now just a little happier.

Ah, that's perfect.

Now please, don't move a muscle, huh?

[PHONE RINGS] Ah! That's Bonnie.

Hello? Oh, hi, Bonnie.

Guess what? I'm posing for a portrait.

Isn't that cool? Samantha, please.

Yeah, it's a surprise for my dad.

See, Angela's throwing him this big party,

because he talked her into starting her own agency,

and it's finally making money.

Yeah, you know adults. They have this gratitude thing.

Samantha, please.

Just a second.

He's not a painter. He's an artist.

He's Greek.

And he's so temperamental.

Samantha, I cannot work this way. Please!

He's doing it now.

Okay, well, I'd better go too.

Okay, I'll talk to you later. Bye.

It was a business call.

Oh, Christos, it's beautiful.

The lines, the form, the texture.

I just barely started.

Well, I know, but I can visualize it in my mind's eye.

I used to paint by numbers.

They're back! They're back!

Oh, no! Mother said she was going to keep Tony out until 4.

Oh, no, it is 4.

They just pulled up front.

Estimated time of arrival: now.

Thanks for the warning.

Christos, quick, you've got to get out of here.

Samantha, go up and change. I'm out of here!

Oh... Oh, Christos, please,

could you just hurry it up a little bit, please?

Okay. Okay. Okay! Please just wait in the kitchen.

Okay.

Hi, everybody. Hi.

Where's Tony? Well, I didn't know

whether or not you'd have Christos out,

so I sent Tony around to the kitchen to unload the groceries.

Pretty smart, huh?

No, I just sent Christos into the kitchen.

No! Oh... Yes!

Hi, Angela.

Got you that great Egyptian shampoo you wanted.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Oh, by the way, there's a man in my kitchen.

A man? Yeah.

You must be mistaken. There's no man in the kitchen.

Oh, that man.

[LAUGHS]

That's not a man. That's the...

Plumber!

Oh. Oh, you must be one of them abstract plumbers.

Impressionist. Oh.

All right, all right, the truth is this is Christos Demos.

And he is an artist. He's not a plumber.

And this is Tony Micelli, my housekeeper.

Mr. Micelli. Christos.

Christos is painting a portrait...

of Jonathan

for Mother's birthday.

And it was supposed to be a surprise.

Surprise, Mother.

Oh!

Well, what a wonderful gesture, Angela.

I'm amazed that you could come up with an idea like that.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

How come I don't know anything about this?

Well, Tony, don't take this the wrong way,

but you've got a big mouth.

How could I take that the wrong way, Angela?

Come on, I can keep a secret as good as the next guy.

Oh, yeah? You're the one who just blabbed

about the man in the kitchen.

Wait a minute.

Since I-- I let the cat out of the bag,

what do you say we take a look at the picture?

[ANGELA STAMMERS]

Well, we could do that,

but there is a very good reason why we shouldn't.

Right, Christos? Right.

The philosophers of ancient Greece, they had an expression:

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

"Never show an unfinished treasure to a domestic."

[MOUTHING]

Domestic. Yes.

Ah, well, you know,

funny you should mention expressions,

because in Brooklyn we got an expression too.

It goes like this-- Ah! No.

No, no, no, no.

Uh, maybe we should head back to the city.

Nice to meet you, Mr. Micelli.

Wait a minute. I used to know a Micelli in Brooklyn.

Marie. Any relation?

My wife's name was Marie.

No kidding? I used to give her art lessons.

Oh, no. Not my Marie.

She didn't take art lessons.

Are you sure? Because this Marie was quite talented

and very beautiful.

She had very long, dark hair, and beautiful dark eyes.

And the smile, it would light up the acropolis.

Hey, look, pal,

me and my wife were pretty close, you know what I mean?

So if she was taking art lessons,

I would have known about it.

Well, it was a long time ago.

Perhaps you are right.

Hey, Dad, what...

Oh, hi.

No, no, I was right. That is the smile.

Hi, Tone.

Hi, Mone.

Hey, uh, how was the circus?

Oh, it was okay.

Who was your date?

Some clown.

I left him there.

He'll be better off in the long run.

So, what are you making?

Making pancakes. Well, don't you think

they'll be kind of cold by tomorrow morning?

They're not for tomorrow morning.

They're for Tuesday.

We're having French toast tomorrow morning.

Look, this is just off the top of my head,

but, Tony, is something troubling you?

That guy Christos is bugging me, Mona.

Trying to tell me I didn't know my own wife.

I mean, if she was taking art lessons, Mona,

she would have told me about it.

Yes, that's right, Tony.

I mean, Marie didn't even like art.

I mean, she never even appreciated

those bullfighters on black velvet.

Well, then, there you have it.

See, it couldn't possibly have been her.

Oh, are you crazy? It had to be her, Mona.

Why wouldn't she tell me?

What is the big deal? So she took a few art lessons.

It's not like she was having an affair.

Now wait a minute. You cannot be serious.

Tony, you're jumping to conclusions.

Guess what Greek artist just made a pass at me?

I knew it.

Well, it took me by surprise.

There we were, stopped at the tollbooth

at the Triborough Bridge,

I didn't have any change.

He leaned across me to pay,

and the next thing I knew, my earlobe was in his mouth.

You call that a pass?

I must have gotten a little fuzzy there,

because the next thing I remember,

there were all these horns honking

and traffic was backed up for miles.

Angela, how could you let this happen?

I mean, didn't you tell him you were involved with Geoffrey?

Well, yes, but he said that's okay.

He's involved with someone too.

That sleaze.

Oh, no. No, Tony. Don't be too hard on him.

I mean, after all, in a certain light,

my hair probably did look like spun gold.

Guess he didn't notice the lead roots.

You still think I'm jumping to conclusions?

Yes, I do. Now, why on earth would Marie run around

when she had a big, strong ballplayer like you at home?

Because I was never home.

I was always on the road.

Hey, Jonathan, you want to shoot some hoops?

No, I got to work on my speech for Tony's surprise party.

Oh, how's it coming?

Fantastic. I've got some great new jokes

from a Dean Martin celebrity brisket.

Jonathan, that's a celebrity roast.

Anyway, you want to hear some? No.

Okay, but you're missing out on some boffo yuks.

Hey, pal, where are you going?

Nowhere. Nowhere.

Let me know when you get there.

Hey, Dad, you want to shoot some hoops?

Whoa, look at you. Sure, sweetheart.

You know something, Sam?

You remind me of your mother more and more every day.

She had a good jump shot?

Nah, you got that from me, sweetheart.

What, are you kidding me?

Speaking of me, Sam,

do you remember when you were young and I was away a lot?

Oh, yeah.

I remember the first time Mom told me

you were on the road.

I started crying.

I was afraid you'd get hit by a truck.

Oh, that's-- That's nice of you.

You worried about me, huh?

Speaking of worrying, Sam,

you know, I used to worry about you and Mom being alone.

We weren't always alone.

You weren't?

No. My friend Steffie would come by all the time,

and we'd play dolls.

She liked to dress Ken in Barbie's clothes.

Well, uh, speaking of dressing up,

did you and Mom ever dress up and go out?

Sure. I mean, we'd go grocery shopping and to the park.

And every week we'd go next door to Mrs. Rossini's.

Oh, well, what'd you do there?

Oh, we had so much fun playing cards and watching TV.

Oh, I used to have the biggest crush on Potsie.

Well, what about Mom?

She never stayed.

Oh?

Yeah, but I loved that one episode

where Ralph and Potsie got stuck in the meat locker.

Or was that Jack and Mr. Furley?

Samantha, when--

When your mother didn't stay, where did she go?

You know, she must have gone pretty far,

because sometimes she didn't pick me up

till the next morning.

Huh?

Dad, are you okay?

Oh, yeah, I'm fine.

Tony, come on up.

TONY: Three steps at a time.

Only three?

Getting old.

[PANTING AND CHUCKLING]

Fast as ever, huh?

Yeah, sure.

[LAUGHS]

Tony, Tony! Mrs. Rossini.

It's so good to see you.

But you're wasting away. [LAUGHS]

Well, not you, Mrs. Rossini.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Hey, I'm sorry I had to drop by

on such short notice, but--

Short notice.

That's Connecticut talking.

My door is always open.

Sit. Have some pasta.

Well, to tell you the truth, Mrs. Rossini,

I really want to talk to you.

What? You can't talk with food in your mouth?

Maybe-- Maybe just a little.

Whatever you say.

[SIGHS]

So how's life in Connecticut?

Good.

Good? Just good?

How about the fresh air and the greenery and the Protestants?

They're all good.

Tony, what's happened to you?

You're so quiet.

You used to talk till your hands got tired.

I got something on my mind.

So tell me.

It's about Marie.

God rest her soul.

Mange.

I can't mange.

I heard things that bother me.

About my veal?

No, about Marie.

I met this guy.

He says he knows my wife Marie from some art class.

He says he gave my wife art lessons.

It's true, isn't it? I can see it in your face.

My face is my curse.

Joe takes one look at me

and knows we're having veal for dinner.

Of course, we always have veal for dinner.

Mrs. Rossini, what am I going to do?

I-- I thought I knew my wife.

Tony, it's not that terrible.

It's not that terrible? She was unfaithful to me.

How dare you?

I could box your ears for that.

Marie would never, ever...

I can't even say it.

Come on, Mrs. Rossini.

Where was she all those nights she left Sam with you?

She was learning to paint.

All night? What was she doing,

waiting for the paint to dry?

Come on, Mrs. Rossini.

Sam said she didn't pick her up till morning.

That was because Marie didn't want to wake Samantha up.

What was the point?

She'd come in, have a cup of coffee,

a little veal.

She'd kiss Sam good night, then go back to your apartment.

Oh, come on. If it was just painting,

why didn't she tell me about it?

She tried to, but you wouldn't hear it.

You kept cutting her off. You wouldn't let her--

I don't cut people off!

She told me you thought art lessons were silly,

that you wanted her home taking care of Sam.

Don't you remember?

Well, not exactly, Mrs. Rossini. It was such a little thing.

Tony, that was the problem.

To you it was a little thing, but to Marie it meant a lot.

Are you telling me there was a whole part of Marie

that I didn't even know about?

Maybe there was a lot I didn't know about Marie.

It wasn't your fault.

You were young, you were foolish.

You were a man.

I thought of her as just a wife and a mother.

But I guess there was a lot more.

Tony, you shouldn't feel bad.

You loved Marie and she loved you.

Everyone in the building knew that.

Yeah? Sure.

The walls were thin.

Look, Tony, it was years ago.

You can't change the past.

Yeah, Mrs. Rossini,

that's what's killing me.

She's gone. I can't make it up to her.

But you don't have to make it up to her.

She loved you the way you were.

She wouldn't want you sitting around feeling guilty.

She'd want you to move forward,

to be happy, to eat.

Have some veal.

ALL: Surprise!

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ Even without a tie ♪

[ALL CHEER]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What's all this?

It's not my birthday.

No.

This is the Tony Micelli gala appreciation party

and testimonial salute.

I can see why you didn't put that on the banner.

[LAUGHS]

For the first time since its founding,

the Bower Agency is operating in the black.

[ALL CHEER] All right.

Way to go.

But, hey, what's that got to do with me?

Oh, and he's humble too.

ALL: Aww!

Tony, if you hadn't talked me into opening my own agency,

I wouldn't have been able to do it.

And without your help and support,

I wouldn't be where I am right now.

Turning a profit.

Or paying taxes. [LAUGHS]

Oh, Geoffrey, you sentimental fool, you.

May I take your jacket, Mr. Micelli?

So are you okay? Yeah.

Where you been?

I went down to Brooklyn and had a talk with Mrs. Rossini.

And?

You were right.

I was just jumping to conclusions.

I had a terrific wife.

It's too bad she couldn't say the same about her husband.

[NOISEMAKERS BLOWING RHYTHMICALLY]

Seat of honor. Here you go.

ANGELA: Come on.

Sit.

To start off the evening, I would like to introduce

our roastmaster general, Jonathan "Shecky" Bower.

[ALL APPLAUD]

Good evening, ladies and germs.

I'd like to say a few words about a great guy,

but they told me I had to talk about Tony Micelli.

[IMITATES RIM SHOT]

Tony's cooking is so bad.

ALL: How bad is it?

It's so bad he serves Tums for after-dinner mints.

ANGELA: Yes!

And now here's someone we've known for years.

A beautiful human being, my grandmother and yours.

Here's Mona.

[ALL APPLAUD]

Hey, come here. That was terrific, pal.

You helped Mom, you take care of me.

You're beautiful, babe.

Okay, thank you, Jonathan.

I have a lot of warm and wonderful things

to say about Tony,

but Angela's better at the sappy stuff.

But I do want to say

you're the best,

and don't let anybody ever tell you different.

And now to put a damper on the festivities,

here's Geoffrey.

Yay!

Thank you for that heartfelt introduction, Mona.

I don't know what to say.

And I'm not a member of the family.

At least not yet.

But-- But...

I-- I tell you this about Tony.

Even though I haven't known him very long,

I feel as close to him as I do to my own cousin...

once removed.

[LAUGHS]

Speaking of being removed...

Get the hook! [BLOWS RASPBERRY]

All right, all right, all right.

Tough room.

Anyway, I-- I would just like to say,

thanks for helping to make Angela so successful.

And now, without further hype, here she is,

the lovely and solvent, Angela Bower.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

MONA: Madam President.

Thank you. Thank you.

I-- I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

Um, I just...

[SOBBING] ...feel so lucky to have someone

like you in my corner!

[SIGHS]

Um...

when I lost my job,

I truly did not know what I was going to do.

But you helped me find my way.

You knew that I was scared

and that I had doubts in my own ability.

But you always believed in me.

And you made me believe in myself.

So I would like to propose a toast.

To Tony Micelli,

a man who sees in us not our limits,

but the stars.

MONA: Hear, hear.

That's-- That's very nice folks,

but you sure you got the right Tony Micelli?

Oh, I know we do.

And as a token of my love and appreciation...

[NOISEMAKERS BLOWING RHYTHMICALLY]

Right here. Stand here. Okay?

Ready?

Samantha, that's you.

Good eye, Dad.

Samantha, you're beautiful.

Oh, Angela, isn't she beautiful?

Oh, everybody, isn't my daughter beautiful?

Oh, she's beautiful.

I'm speechless.

Well, uh, then maybe Samantha would like to say something.

Well, I just want you to know

that because you're such a great guy,

I sat still for this, missing countless phone calls,

important social engagements,

and a major sale at the mall.

[ALL LAUGH]

Now, that really means a lot to me.

Mom always said we were both real lucky to have you.

She was right.

I love you.

Speech!

ALL: Speech! Speech!

Come on...

I don't-- I don't know what to say.

Give your MVP speech.

You were an MVP?

No, but he had a real good speech.

I guess, uh, I want to say thank you

for all the nice things you've said tonight.

This comes at a time when...

well, let me just say that, uh, it sounds real good right now.

You know it's hard trying to be all you'd like to be

to the people you love.

But if...

if you're lucky, you end up hitting more than you miss.

Tony, in our book,

you're batting a hundred.

[CLEARS THROAT]

I hope that's a thousand, Angela.

Oh!

[LAUGHS]

Well, this is only the beginning.

In your honor, we've made you a big Italian dinner.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. A dinner? And big and Italian?

And we made all your favorites. Veal.

Veal piccata.

Veal scaloppine.

Veal marsala.

Veal Parmesan.

Enough talk. Let's eat.

[ALL CHATTERING]

ALL: ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly... ♪

I can't believe how much she looks like Marie.

Well... [SCOFFS]

...you know, Marie would be very proud

of how wonderful you're bringing up Sam.

I'm not doing a bad job, huh?

[LAUGHS]

But I'm gonna do better.

From now on she's gonna have art lessons too.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, if she wants them.

You know, um,

I logged a few hours in art class myself.

You did?

Really? Well, I'd love to see some of your work sometime.

You would? I just happened to have something right here

that I found in the attic.

Now just look at it and be brutally honest.

Why, it's terrific, Angela.

What a beautiful tree.

It's a self-portrait.

Oh, yeah.

[♪♪♪]