Original subtitles

♪ There is more to life than what you living

♪ So take a chance and face the wind

♪ An open road and a road that's hidden

♪ Brand new life around the bend

♪ There were times,

♪ I lost a dream or two

♪ Found the trail

♪ And at the end was you

♪ There's a path you take and a path not taken

♪ The choice is up to you my friend

♪ Nights are long but you might awaken

♪ To a brand new life

♪ Brand new life

Yeah!

Oh, gee, too bad, Dad, you left the 10 pin.

What? Oh, wait, wait. Look, look.

It's teetering. It's teetering.

Go, go, baby. It's going, it's... It's down!

It's a score! We win the championship!

How did he do that?

Ah, it's the shirt, my boy.

Dr. Wittener's Drill Team. Huh.

You named your team after a dentist?

He's the best bowler on the team, Sam.

And besides, he bought the shirts!

Well, greetings friends in scruffy attire.

Mona is hear for all to admire.

Oh, hey, great, Mona.

You decided to go bowling with me, after all, eh?

Any other night, Tony.

Well, Mona, look, it's your choice.

It's either the glamour and excitement

of Madison Avenue's star studded awards ceremony

or a couple of sweaty guys rolling strikes and swilling beer.

Hmm, no, well, I promised Angela I'd go with her.

Anyway, she's going to mention me several times in her acceptance speech.

-You read it? -I wrote it.

See, the award ceremony's pretty boring.

But it's the party afterwards where I'm going to make memories.

Ooh.

Ho! Ho!

Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for.

For best TV commercial, the nominees are a lot of people

who don't have a prayer and this year's winner of the Maddy,

Angela Bower.

-Oh, Tony! -Hey!

Hey, hey, how about a few words for the folks back home, Angela?

It's an honor just being nominated.

Oh, can the humility!

You have earned it.

And you want it so bad, you can taste it. Admit it!

-I am not that competitive a person, mother! -Ha.

You still have never gotten over the spelling bee you lost in the third grade.

Well, that was clearly unfair. They gave me "forsythia".

And they gave Beth a laugher like "chrysanthemum".

Phew, sounds like the fix was in.

What nine-year-old can spell forsythia.

Forsythia,

F-O-R-S-Y-T-H-I-A, forsythia.

Who asked you?

Let me tell you something, though.

You don't have to spell to be an advertising genius.

And your campaign for rat poison, it was inspired.

-Oh, Tony. -No, no.

I love those little rats on the motorcycle.

Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom.

Rodent Warrior.

Hey, Angela, how'd you find a rat who looks like Mel Gibson.

Yeah.

Well, it wasn't easy, they had to cap his teeth.

Angela, where is your cashmere cape?

It's in the hall closet, but I'm not sure whether I'm going to wear it.

Oh, you're not. I am.

So, Angela, I guess the odds are pretty good you're gonna win tonight.

Whoa, you bet your life they are. Are you kidding me?

Well, I'm up against a lot of other commercials that are extremely adequate.

Even one by Shirley Grant.

The girl who learned everything she knows from me

and then went to work for my nearest competitor. The tramp.

Well, forget her. Forget her because I predict

that later tonight, this table will be groaning

under the weight of two awards.

Your Maddy, and my bowling trophy, eh?

The city's gonna have to condemn this.

Unsafe due to the victory.

-I'll get it.

Hello?

It's Dr. Wittener, Tony.

Oh, my man, Herb, watch out, baby.

Hey Herb, what's happening, the Sultan of strikes?

The Sheikh of spares, the Lord of lanes?

What? Oh, no.

One of his patients bit his thumb.

Oh, the thumb that was born to bowl?

Well, how swollen is it?

What you stick it in there for?

Oh, should the children be hearing this?

It's his thumb, Mother. Some kid bit it.

-Oh. -Oh.

Herb's our ace. Without him we don't stand a chance.

-I'm not even gonna go. Forget about it... -Oh, Tony,

life isn't about winning or losing.

You do your best and then you accept victory or defeat with class.

The limousine is here for the Bower party.

Hmm, well, this evening's off to a fine start.

I'm Mona.

And this is Angela, my sister.

Well, Tony, keep it out of the gutter.

Yeah, you too, Mona.

Jonathan, what are you doing?

Giving Grover a home perm.

Let that set for 20 minutes

then come back and I'll comb you out.

I'm worried about you, Jonathan.

I just want him to look nice when Mom brings the trophy home.

There's the limo! They're here. Turn on the music.

Where's the trophy?

Oh, was is it great? Oh, tell us all about it.

It was an honor just being nominated.

Well, the chicken was a little rubbery.

But other than that, it was a lovely ceremony.

Huh, you didn't win, Mom?

Shirley Grant won.

That cow.

Guess what?

Make some room on the trophy table.

Look what followed me home?

You won?

Hey, they don't give you one of these babies for losing.

I should get another trophy just for trying to pick it up!

Wow, you actually won?

Sam, you should have seen me. I was terrific.

I mean, I bowled a 240.

-240? -240.

I threw more strikes than the New York City sanitation workers.

Aw, you guys are so great. How'd you know?

Well, actually that was for Angela.

That's right, Angela! Congratulations!

Hey, let's put my trophy right next your Maddy, huh?

Where's your Maddy?

It was an honor just being nominated.

Oh, Angela, you didn't win?

Worse than that, she lost.

To a cow.

You mean, Shirley Grant won?

Really, it's not all that important.

It was an honor...

ALL: Just being nominated.

I really feel bad about this, Angela.

Oh, no, no, don't be silly.

Really, I look on the bright side.

I still have my health.

And, uh, I have my lovely family,

and my lovely home, and my friends.

The only thing you don't have is a trophy.

Yes, thank you for pointing that out, Mother.

Well, look, Angela, let's think of my trophy as our trophy.

Gee...

Goodness me. This is even... This is even better.

It's got wood. Yes.

-Yes, and plastic... -Well, a little plastic there, yeah.

Yes, yes, and a little man holding a little bowling ball.

-You like that? -Yes, yes.

This is enough trophy for one household.

You know, another one would just clutter up the living room.

Come on, Dad. Tell us all about it. And don't leave anything out.

All right, all right, look, I'll fill you guys in later.

But right now, these two have a big party to go to.

Oh, no, it's been such a full day, I think I'll call it a night.

Oh, then, you don't mind if I make other plans?

Not at all.

See ya.

How does she do that?

All set, Mona?

You're really going out?

I'm sorry, dear. But life and the good times do go on.

Oh, well.

Come on, Dad. I want to hear how you won.

Oh, listen, um, I'm not so sure,

you know, considering I won, and you know who you know what.

Oh, no.

Tony, please. I want to hear about it. I'm happy for you.

Wow, you're really taking this well, Angela.

Oh, these things happen.

Yeah?

All right, all right, look. It was terrific, right?

As soon as I threw that first strike in the first frame,

I got this weird feeling come over me...

Like tonight was going to be Tony Micelli's night,

like it was destiny or something.

Oh, I'm getting goose bumps.

All right, so I'm throwing strike after strike.

Boom, boom, they're going down.

And the crowd starts to gather I mean, like...

Um, I can finish this up later.

Maybe, maybe next week.

No, Tony, please. It's absolutely riveting.

Yeah, go ahead.

Okay, now it's the last frame, okay?

We need one more strike.

All right, so I pick up my ball.

I look down that alley. And I let her go.

I threw the ball so hard, it didn't even hit the pins. The pins saw it coming.

"Ahhh," they jumped out of that way!

I knew you'd do it, Tony!

And then, they presented me,

Strike Micelli with this.

Which I deserve.

Dad, let's see how it looks on the trophy table.

Yeah! Great.

Um, is that okay, Angela?

Please, of course.

-Yeah?

-Oh, is it beautiful? -It is!

Angela, look at this. Come here, come here.

I mean, you know, this is just what this room needed.

I mean, you know, something big, something bold,

something that says, a winner lives here, huh?

What do you think, Angela?

I hate it!

I hate the table. I hate the trophy.

I hate the little man holding the little bowling ball.

And most of all, I hate your shirt.

Please, be honest.

Inhale, exhale.

Again.

Exhale.

I'm sorry, Tony.

No, Angela, I'm sorry.

I'm going to keep that trophy in my room.

I'm gonna keep it in the closet... In the back of the closet.

Gee, Dad, I don't know.

The back of the closet is already crowded with trophies.

You remember all those trophies you got from high school?

And the Rookie of the Year Award?

-Oh, and that JC Citizenship Trophy? -Inhale, exhale.

Inhale, exhale.

Oh.

Uh, Jonathan, will you help me with this?

All right, it's beautiful!

-Whoo, it's heavy! -Will you get that trophy out of here? Inhale...

Inhale, exhale...

Oh.

Oh, Tony, I really don't know what came over me.

I don't hate the table. And I really don't hate your trophy.

How about my shirt?

It's lovely.

Well, look, you're just upset because you lost.

Yes, you're right. I am upset because of that.

I mean, hey look. That's the way it's supposed to be, Angela.

I mean, when you win, you feel good.

Like me, I feel great!

-But you know, when you, you know... -The L word.

Well, yeah, I mean, you feel like just a miserable shell of a human being.

-Tell me about it. -Yeah, you know, like your life isn't worth living.

Right.

Like you want to crawl under a rock and hide.

-I'm going to bed. -Hey, wait a minute, and miss a great party?

Tony, I'm new at losing.

-I'd just as soon be miserable in the comfort of my own home. -Now wait a minute, Angela.

Remember that pep talk you gave me about winning and losing?

Well, I went out there and I won a trophy.

Tony, there are no other trophies for me.

Other people have them now. That is the problem.

Angela, let me tell you a little story.

Why are you torturing me?

Angela, when I was 12 years old,

I had this good friend, Philly Cartuccio.

And a week before his big birthday bash,

he goes and steals my girlfriend, Bambi Mistraco.

She was gorgeous and very nice. But mostly gorgeous.

Anyway, I felt as bad as you do.

Well, maybe not that bad.

But, um, I went to his party, anyway. And I brought a present.

And that made you feel better?

That, and letting the air out of his bicycle tires.

Oh, Tony, I don't think I can.

I don't think I can go to the party. I can't face all those people.

All those people? Or Shirley Grant?

I have nothing against Shirley Grant. That sow.

Angela, you've got to go. You gotta go and congratulate her.

You know what I mean? You gotta show the world

that even though Angela Bower doesn't have a Maddy,

she's got something more important.

She's got class. What do you say?

All right, Angela. Go to bed. See if I care.

-Good night. -All right, all right, all right.

I care, I care. I admit it.

All right, look, you are the president of Wallace and McQuade.

You're, you're the queen bee. You know, all those little worker bees?

They look up to you.

I mean it, you gotta go, Your Majesty.

-I don't know, Tony. -All right, all right, I'll go with you.

What good will that do?

Oh, hey,

they know you lost. This way they won't think you couldn't get a date.

Okay, I made an appearance.

And you were right. I feel a lot better. Let's go.

Angela, wait a minute.

-You haven't even spoken to anybody yet. -That isn't part of the deal.

Come on, come on, just, just be sincere.

I don't think I can.

Sure, sincerity's easy. Just fake it.

Hello, congratulations, so good to see you.

Angela, that's the waiter.

-Oh no, oh no, that's Charles Brighton. -Who's he?

He's the president of Brighton and Bartholomew. He's obnoxious.

Well, then, this a good chance for you to grow as a person.

Go over there and show him some class. Come on, go ahead. Go, go.

Charles, yoo-hoo!

Why, Angela, you are the last person on Earth I expected to see here.

Well, I'm here to celebrate with tonight's winner.

Amazing! Considering that you lost.

Big!

-Charles? -There, there, Angela!

Yes, Angela?

Give my best to Phyllis and the kids.

Uh-huh.

You did it! That's great!

The winner of the First Annual Angela Bower Class Award is...

-Angela Bower! -Angela Bower!

I do have class, don't I?

That's right. You're loaded with it. You're loaded with it.

There's Shirley Grant.

That heifer.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I just don't know how a woman with no neck can be creative.

All right, all right, she has a neck.

It's just short.

Which is so often the case with women with thick ankles.

Would you stop!

Angela, the board is seriously considering taking back the Angela Bower Class Award.

Oh, no, no. I can handle this. I really can.

I was just temporarily blinded by the hefty bag she was wearing.

Where do you think she got it?

Salvation Army fire sale?

All right, all right. Look, just watch me.

-I'll show you how it's done. -Okay.

Miss Grant, I just want to say congratulations

and that the award was well deserved.

Oh, thank you.

-You're Shirley Grant? -Yes.

-This is Shirley Grant? -Yeah.

Congratulations, Shirley.

Oh, Angela, thank you so much.

Congratulations. Tony Micelli.

Oh, Tony, thank you so much.

Oh! I'm so thrilled! Oh!

So...

So thrilled for you.

Oh, I feel like I'm gonna burst!

I feel like I'm going to burst for you.

What a pair. Oh, here I am, Shirley Grant,

new kid of the block, winner of tonight's Maddy.

And here you are, Angela Bower,

battle scarred veteran of the advertising wars.

Oh, Shirley, how vivid.

Hey, Shirley, how about an interview?

Another one? Oh, I hope I haven't run out of clever things to say.

Success. What a feeling!

Enjoy it.

Angela, you did it!

I did it.

-I did it! I do have class, don't I? -Yeah.

Did you see those shoes she was wearing?

So, uh, Lisa, are you in the ad game, too?

Yes, maybe you've seen my latest commercial for Super Wax Floor Cleaner?

Is that the one with the great pair of legs

that are reflected up in a high glow shine?

That's your concept?

No, my legs.

Ah.

Ah, yeah, well, you know I didn't recognize them without the mop.

Tony!

Oh, hi, Angela, how are you?

Um, so tell me now, Lisa, what else have your legs been in?

Tony!

Excuse me, Lisa.

Stay right here. I'll be right back.

Hi, gee, where'd you go? I was so worried about you.

I went out for some air.

Guess where I found it?

In Shirley Grant's tires.

-What? -I let the air out of her tires.

And you were right. I feel wonderful!

What do you mean, I was right?

You remember the story with Phil, and Bambi, and the bicycle.

I was 12 years old, Angela.

And besides, I don't think Shirley came on a bike.

Nope, yellow convertible, four flat tires.

I don't believe I'm hearing this.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please?

I'd like to present to you the winner of this year's

Madison Avenue Advertising Award,

Shirley Grant.

I can handle anything she says.

Thank you all.

Winning the Maddy was wonderful.

All I hear is hissing air.

But there is a one person, one very special person, I must thank.

Let her gush.

A person who embodies excellence,

both as a professional and as a human being.

This ought to be good.

Angela Bower!

What?

Angela, come on up here!

-What? -Go on up. Go ahead, go say something.

Do I smell like stale tire air?

-Yeah. -Oh!

Angela, you taught me everything I know.

This award is as much yours as it is mine.

Speech! Speech!

Speech!

Go on, say a few words.

It was an honor just being nominated.

Does she have class or does she have class? Hey!

You know, Tony, I've always been a sore loser.

Well, Angela, that's why you're so successful. I mean, hey, you play to win.

Oh, but Shirley did a great job.

And I should be able to recognize that.

Of course, she didn't have to sell rat poison.

Why quibble?

You know, I should march in there.

I should order champagne for everybody.

And I should toast Shirley on her Maddy.

No, no, no. You can't do that, Angela.

-Why not? -It's your turn to pump.

TONY: Who's the Boss? will be back in a moment. Stick around.

Hi.

Oh, hi, Mom. Guess what?

I'm going to be in a Spelling Bee.

Oh, sweetheart, isn't that wonderful!

Wonderful.

W-O-N-D-E-R-F-U-L, wonderful.

That is great!

That right. You just practice, practice, practice!

Practice...

P-R-A-C-T-I-C-E, practice.

He has been doing that all afternoon.

Please, do not encourage him.

Encourage...

E-N-C-O-U...

-Here, Tony. -Thanks, buddy. Hey, do me a favor?

Put this asparagus in the refrigerator, please?

Asparagus.

A-S-P-A-R-A-G-U-S,

asparagus.

Jonathan, you're getting obnoxious.

Obnoxious.

O-B-N-O-X-I-O-U-S, obnoxious.

Jonathan!

JONATHAN: Goodnight, Mom.

ANGELA: Goodnight, sweetheart.

JONATHAN: Sweetheart.

S-W-E-E-T-H-E-A-R-T,

-sweetheart.

Slam.

S-L-A-M, slam.