Original subtitles

♪ There is more to life than what you're living

♪ So take a chance and face the wind

♪ An open road and a road that's hidden

♪ Brand new life around the bend

♪ There were times I lost a dream or two

♪ Found the trail and at the end was you

♪ There's a path you take and a path not taken

♪ The choice is up to you my friend

♪ Nights are long but you might awaken

♪ To a brand new life

♪ Brand new life

♪ Brand new life around the bend ♪

Si, si, bene.

Bene. Si, bene.

Si, bene.

Si, bene.

Come sta? Scusi?

Can you speak Italian, Sam?

Well, I know a few words

but I'm not allowed to say any of them.

Si, si, bene.

Who's Benny?

Ana?

Oh, yeah, yeah, oh, Capisc'. Capisc'.

Quando... Come si chiama?

Arriva?

He's sending my cousin to America.

Really?

Either that or I just bought a Ferrari.

-Dad, which cousin? -What? Ana.

Oh, she's coining here for a wedding.

Either that or she died and they're sending her body to be buried in Brooklyn.

Well, you're just a font of information.

A font? What's a font?

Well, hey, my vocabulary's a little weak,

but my pronunciation... Forget about it.

-When is she coming? -That I do know.

Sometime between now and the Festival of the Saints.

When's that?

Hey, what do I look like here? A font of information?

Font, you like that?

Whoa! Good sandwich.

See ya later, Dad.

Now, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, ho, ho, ho, hey.

Where do you think you're going, young lady?

I was just going to go over to...

Oh, you were probably talking to Samantha.

-Well? -Everyone's meeting at the mall.

Everyone? I'm not meeting at the mall.

Angela, are you meeting at the mall?

Well, actually, I'm meeting Wendy there.

Sam, do you want a ride?

-See, Dad? -What about lunch?

Oh, I'll pick up something there.

Oh, that was probably another one for Samantha.

Samantha, I know all the major food groups,

and chocolate chip cookies isn't one of them.

Now, there's a chicken sandwich waiting for you in the kitchen.

Dad, I was not going to have cookies.

I'll have a corn dog.

Or a chicken sandwich.

-Hey, hey, hey, hey. -Well, we are off to the mall to see a movie.

Yeah, what are you going to see?

Can we see that new science fiction movie?

Lust in Space?

No, I think there's too much sex in that.

I wonder how that works when you're weightless.

Mother.

Well, what do you want? It's either sex or violence.

Oh, Mother, why don't you just go see Bambi?

Okay, that's a nice G-rated, wholesome, family film.

What do you think?

Yeah. I love when the hunter wastes Bambi's mother.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're off.

Goodbye.

Ready, Angela?

Samantha, you're supposed to eat the sandwich,

not store it up for the winter.

Excuse me. I'm looking for Tony Micelli.

Come on in. That's my dad over there.

And I thought I was going to understand you Americans.

Ana? Cousin Ana?

-You are Tony? -Yeah!

Oh, put this down. Come in. Come in.

Look at you. Oh, my goodness.

I've got a snapshot of her, she's this big.

Unbelievable.

Buongiorno. Come stai?

-I speak English. -Oh, that's right. I just heard you.

And you speak it beautifully.

Thank you. I studied very hard to come to America.

Well, welcome to our fair shores.

Ana, I want you to meet Angela Bower, my boss.

Miss Liberty.

Hello. How do you do?

And this is my daughter, Samantha.

-Hi. -Hi.

I guess you're here for a wedding,

because you sure don't look dead.

Thank you.

-So, who's getting married? -Me.

Oh, isn't that wonderful?

Didn't my father explain on the phone?

Oh, well, he probably did, but my Italian's a little rusty.

"A little rusty"?

It stinks.

My father has sent a letter which will explain everything.

Oh, I got a letter here.

It's in Italian.

Well, you could help me translate a couple of these words, right?

How about these right here. What's this?

"Dear Tony."

Okay, well, look, why don't you sit down here

and translate this for me, okay?

My pronunciation.

"I am sending you my youngest daughter..." That's me.

"...to watch over and take care of

"until her marriage takes place in two weeks.

"I have entrusted you with a treasure."

-I guess that's me again.

"Keep it safely.

"Your uncle, Aldo."

That's Papa.

"P.S.: Thank you for inviting her to stay in your home."

Oh, did I say that?

It's amazing.

I must know a little bit more Italian than I thought.

Is it okay, Angela?

Well...

Mi casa es su casa.

So, are you excited about your wedding?

Yes, I am. I cannot wait to meet my fiance.

Meet him?

You've never met him?

No, but Carlo's family comes from our village.

After we are married, Carlo will import the olive oil my father makes.

It will mean a lot of money for my family.

Well...

Isn't that romantic.

Angela...

No, it's lovely, really.

She'll never be out of salad dressing.

Come on, Ana. You can share my room. This'll be so awesome.

Awesome?

Yeah, it'll be radical.

You know, gnarly.

We'll go to the mall, and scarf down junk food.

And you'll teach me to speak teenage?

For sure.

Come on, go ahead. I got your bag. Don't worry.

Yes, you just make yourself comfortable.

It's so good to have you here.

Tony...

An arranged marriage is right out of the Middle Ages. It's cruel.

It's barbaric. It's...

It's the way my parents got married.

Oh.

Now, look, I know you don't do things like this in Connecticut,

but in the old country, it's a way of life.

It's custom. It's tradition.

If you start singing from Fiddler on the Roof, I'm leaving.

Angela, now seriously,

hey, my uncle has given me a sacred trust

and it's my duty to see that it gets carried out.

He wants everything done here just like it's done in Italy.

-It's so unenlightened... -Hey.

But I guess you're just doing this for your uncle out of love and respect.

It's called a food processor.

Not the machine. Tony.

Oh, well, I am a pretty amazing machine myself.

The men in my village don't work in the kitchen.

Well, uh,

there are a lot of things that are done differently here.

-Weddings for instance are... -Not nearly as much fun.

Nobody passes out in their ravioli.

Really?

This is it. That's Carlo.

How do I look?

Now, Angela, would you please leave this to me?

Well, what could I say? I'm just a woman.

Thank you.

You look beautiful.

Hello. You must be Carlo Garabaldi.

I've been looking forward to meeting you.

-Are you Ana? -No, no, no.

No, no, she's Angela Bower and I'm Tony Micelli

and this...

This is Ana.

Oh, good.

So, come on in. Come on in. Let me have your coat.

Come in, sit, we'll talk.

I am very happy to make your acquaintance.

I am very happy to make yours.

Ooh, and you said it wouldn't work out.

Okay, look, we'll have a little antipasto, huh.

Excuse me, excuse me, a little further, that's good.

Okay. Sit, sit.

Would you pour the wine, Ana?

So, Carlo,

Ana tells me you're in the import-export business.

Yes, it's a family business.

Grazie, grazie.

I also own a small apartment building and a house in New Jersey.

Three bedrooms.

Great place to start a family, huh?

Tony, Ana may not want to start a family right away.

Why?

Is there something wrong with her?

No, no, there's nothing wrong with her. Is there, Ana?

Oh, I am very healthy.

I can have lots of babies.

So can rabbits.

She doesn't understand how these things take place.

Well, there's one thing I understand.

These two people probably want to be alone.

-Absolutely not. -No, no, no.

You can't leave these people alone.

Why not?

They're engaged.

Sam, you think you'll ever get married?

Yeah, probably.

I want a husband just like my dad.

What about you?

Yeah. I want a wife just like your dad too.

Hey, we're home.

Well, hey, hey, hey.

And how was the date?

It was grand. It really was grand.

I mean, Carlo took us to a really fine restaurant.

Then we went out for some cappuccinos

and then we did a little dancing.

How nice.

Did he kiss you good night, too?

Not on the first date, Angela!

He's saving himself, dear.

Come on, Ana, you tell us.

Did you like Carlo?

He is very nice.

But I'm afraid he doesn't like me very much.

What? Why? Why do you say that?

He didn't talk to me all night.

Get out... Hey, hey.

Come on. I saw him lean over and whisper in your ear.

Yeah, he said,

"If you're not going to finish your meatballs, I will."

Oh, yeah, well, you should've seen the look in his eyes when he said that.

Tony, I'm just a simple girl from a small village.

When I look at American women like Mona and Angela and Samantha,

I feel very plain.

Did you hear that, Dad? She called me a woman.

Well, she's Italian, she exaggerates.

Ana, you're very lovely just the way you are.

But if you wanted to be a little bit more American, that would be very easy to do.

-Really? -No, no, no, not really.

Sure.

All you need to be more American is a little make-up,

some different clothes and a charge card at Bloomingdale's.

Ladies, ladies, I'm not so sure this is such a good idea.

Come on, Tony.

If she's going to live in America

what's wrong with having her look a little bit more like an American?

Tony, Tony, I want so much for Carlo to like me.

My father is counting on this marriage.

My seven sisters are counting on this marriage.

The whole village is counting on this marriage.

Tony, please.

ALL: Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.

Oh, all right, all right.

Boy, I'll tell you, this being a nanny is no bed of roses.

Thank you.

Well, maybe it ain't so bad.

Carlo, hey, how are you, my friend?

Nice to see you. Ana's almost ready. I hope.

-Well, you know women.

Who told you that?

No, I didn't mean it that way.

Here. Sit down. Have a glass of wine.

Let me tell you something, Carlo.

You are one lucky guy.

I mean, this Ana.

I mean, she's the perfect girl to bring home to Mama.

I know.

They broke the mold when they made her.

Yeah, Ana's terrific.

Not Ana. Mom.

But Ana's the next best thing.

A nice old-fashioned, Italian girl.

Hey, here's to old-fashioned girls.

Salute!

Carlo...

Ciao, baby.

Don't I look totally awesome?

Isn't she a beauty?

She's very American.

What did you do with Ana?

No, no, no. This is...

This is Ana.

This is Ana.

She looks great, doesn't she?

No.

This is not the Ana I agreed to marry.

Ah, now, wait a minute, Carlo. Wait a minute.

If I wanted an American, I would've married Linda Evans.

As far as I'm concerned, this wedding's off.

Aw, now wait a minute.

Uh...

Jonathan, let's go upstairs.

But I want to hear.

Don't worry, we will.

You.

-Me? -You.

You couldn't wait to get your hands on Ana.

Oh, it's just that Ana...

Samantha...

Mother...

-Well... -No, no, no, it wasn't them.

It was you.

You were the ringleader.

But when my uncle gets here and there's no wedding,

who do you think he's going to blame?

Me?

No, me.

Thanks to you.

Don't you think he'll understand?

-Understand? -Yeah.

My uncle? Understand?

Do you think he'll be peeved?

"Peeved"?

My uncle don't get peeved, my uncle gets mad.

My uncle explodes.

My uncle's Mount Vesuvius.

It's the last days of Pompeii.

Forget about it. We're swimming in lava.

And, and... Now look what you did.

-Oh, there, Ana, Ana, don't worry.

Everything's going to be okay.

My father will never understand.

I'll go back to Italy disgraced.

All the villagers will hate me.

All the olive oil will rot on the shelves.

Well, it beats swimming in lava.

Tony, I'm sorry. You're right.

I never should have gotten involved.

It was none of my business.

-What's our next move?

Carlo, I knew you would understand.

I mean, let me tell you. Ana did all those things just to make you happy.

Ana wants what you want.

I want a good old-fashioned Italian woman.

-They know how to take care of a man.

The women here, they want it all.

Education...

Career, fulfillment.

Oh, right, right.

They ain't got time for what really matters.

Us?

Right.

I want a wife like in the old country.

Who knows her place.

-In the kitchen? -Right.

-Barefoot? -Yeah.

-Pregnant? -Now you got it, paisan.

Well, I guess that about covers it.

Why don't you take a walk, huh, Carlo?

I beg your pardon?

Hit the road, paisan.

The wedding's off. You ain't fit for Ana or anybody else,

and let me tell you something, you can forget about Linda Evans.

You can't call the wedding off.

I got a contract with her father.

Oh, yeah. Well, let me tell you something about contracts.

They were made to be broken and so is your face.

Well, like you said, I'm out of here.

Carlo?

Ciao, baby.

"Ciao, baby."

He didn't want me, did he?

Oh, no, no. He wanted you, he wanted you.

But... But you don't want him.

I don't understand.

He doesn't want a wife. He wants a slave.

His thinking, it's out of the... I don't know. The, uh...

Middle Ages?

All right, all right.

Including a family and a man that you love.

-Yeah. -I guess Carlo is sort of a nerd.

-Yeah, yeah. -Isn't this wonderful?

You followed your conscience and everything turned out fine.

-Yeah. -Except one thing...

Yeah.

I forgot. Uncle Aldo.

You.

Uncle Aldo, the guy was a chump.

He came here. He doesn't care about your daughter, he...

Ti prego di parlare in italiano.

He wants you to speak Italian.

All right, all right, all right, let me see, let me see.

Carlo non buon,

uh, come si chiama...

Marito... Disgraziato.

Basta. Basta. Basta.

He says, he's an old man. He doesn't have time for you to speak Italian.

Okay, well, then you just tell him that he picked out a crummy husband for you.

You sure that's what you want to say?

Oh, yeah, good thinking.

Ah!

Tell him that the husband he picked tricked us all

and I was only doing

what I know my wise uncle would have done to protect his daughter.

Is that better?

We'll see.

He didn't go for it, huh?

ANA: Papa! Papa! Papa!

-Basta. -Ana!

Career, education, fulfillment!

Fulfillment!

Fulfillment. Yeah, that's right.

What'd he say?

He says I've never stood up to him before.

Oh.

He probably thinks it's all my fault.

He says it's all your fault.

Please.

American?

You like?

Si, Papa. Molto. Molto. Very much.

This sounds good.

-You understand him? -Uh-uh, but he ain't yelling.

He says, it's one thing for me to be American, but what about his business?

No problem.

Ana could run your business.

Ana... Ha, ha, ha!

He says, "Ana... Ha, ha, ha!"

Angela runs a business.

Angela... Ha, ha, ha!

-He said, "Angela..." -That's okay, I get the gist.

She's very good at languages.

Angela is the president of a big advertising agency.

Plop, plop, plop.

Fizz, fizz, fizz.

Don't you squeeze my Charmin.

Hey, where's the beef?

So, that's the big business that paid for this whole house.

Si, Papa.

-Okay? -Okay.

Grazie, Papa!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What did he say? What did he say?

He said, if the skinny one can do it, so can I.

Graziano.

TONY: Who's the Boss? will be back in a moment. Stick around.

He's very impressed with your beautiful house.

Grazie.

That's very nice of you to say,

but since we're talking about the house,

I've got to take some of the credit because I am the housekeeper.

Housekeeper?

He's very proud of me.