Original subtitles

♪ There is more to life than what you're living

♪ So take a chance and face the wind

♪ An open road and a road that's hidden

♪ A brand new life around the bend

♪ There were times when I lost a dream or two

♪ Found the trail and at the end was you

♪ There's a path you take and a path not taken

♪ The choice is up to you my friend

♪ Nights are long but you might awaken

♪ To a brand new life

♪ Brand new life

♪ Brand new life around the bend ♪

Okay...

There...

Gin, Grandma.

You owe me exactly $1 million.

Would you settle for a triple scoop of

chocolate-chocolate-chip ice cream?

No, I'll take the cash.

What exactly did you say to the man when he cut you off?

Oh, that was Italian for "have a nice day."

Hi, darling.

Hi, Mom.

Gin, again.

Mom, I need a good tax shelter.

Most kids say, "Hi, Mom, what'd you bring me?"

This kid of yours has just fleeced me out of $2 million.

It's like babysitting for Nick the Greek.

Sweetheart, were there any calls for me?

Yes, Jim Peterson, from the office,

called at 4:00 to say he'd be at 555-4545 until 5:00.

Then he called at 5:00 to say he'll be at

555-6789 until 6:00.

Then he called at 6:00 to say he's home.

You have the number.

What a memory. Give me some skin.

Don't leave me hanging.

That was great! That was great.

-Did you do your homework? -Oh, I forgot.

Oh, and Tony, a guy called you about Nick Milano.

-Grandpa? -Yeah.

They said his parole hearing's been changed.

What's parole?

-It's... -It's when you get out of jail.

But you must have heard wrong

'cause my grandpa is in Florida.

Yeah, there's no parole from Florida.

Uh, honey, you sure that wasn't for me?

The man must have said payroll.

Payroll! Payroll, right? Payroll.

Okay, then Nick Milano's payroll hearing

has been moved from the courthouse to the jail.

Thanks, pal.

-Dad? -Yeah.

Jonathan, why don't we go upstairs.

I'll help you with your homework.

Okay, you can color Ecuador.

Fabulous.

Dad,

is Grandpa in jail?

Yeah, he is, honey.

You said he was in Florida.

Well, I... I guess I should have said penitentiary

instead of Pensacola.

My grandfather is in prison?

Yeah, right here in Connecticut. Nearby. Near...here...

How come? What happened?

Well, you see, your grandfather

made a lot of money selling used auto parts.

So?

The people that owned them weren't quite through using them, yet.

Yeah. And then he asked this judge to go easy on him

and just like Grandpa, he thanked him in advance, in cash.

He fenced hot auto parts and bribed a judge?

Yeah, yeah, and then once you're there

it's just a hop, skip and a jump to tax evasion.

Right there.

Why didn't you tell me?

Well, I... Hey, I wanted to,

but your grandfather, Nick, he made me promise... He begged me.

He didn't want his only granddaughter getting the wrong impression.

My grandfather's a crook!

That's the impression he didn't want you to get.

I can't believe you lied to me.

Sweetheart, I was just trying to protect you.

Dad, I don't need to be protected.

I'm 13 years old.

Yeah, well, you were only 12 when he got sent up.

-Nice try. -Oh!

Hon, look, I know I should've leveled with you,

I'm sorry. But hey, he's your grandfather.

I never want to see his face again.

Come on, Sam.

She took that better than I thought.

you coming along with me, Angela.

Oh, sure, Tony,

I just wanted the parole board to know that

Nick's got some good, solid law-abiding citizens in his corner.

I hear this place allows conjugal visits.

Well, they probably haven't had you know what since lunch.

-Here comes Nick!

-MEN: Nick, Nick, Nick... -You know something?

Wait till you see Nick. You ain't gonna believe it.

Something weird has happened to him.

He got nice.

-Hey! My friends. -My man!

My friends...

Isn't it a glorious day to be alive?

Willie got the chair.

All right, for the rest of us then.

Oh! It's so wonderful

-to be back in the bosom of my family...

And friends.

Ladies, I want you to meet my colleagues.

This is Howard, and Myron, and Torch.

This is Mona

and Angela, and you all know my son-in-law, Tony.

-Tony. -Hey, Torch, what's cooking?

Hey,

you're pretty.

Thank you, Torch.

Mrs. Robinson,

let me feast my hungry eyes upon thee.

He makes up stuff like that all the time.

I don't know. Prison brings out the poet in me.

I'll tell you something. These gray walls can change a man.

I can't wait to get out of here.

I'm gonna make my family proud.

You...

And my little Sambina.

Uh, Nick, funny you should mention Samantha.

I can't wait to see her, Tony.

You know, I've been sunning in the rec yard every day

Does she also know my Swiss bank account number,

Mr. Ratfink informer?

Hey, hey, what happened to Saint Nick?

Oh, never mind. You may not care what Samantha thinks of me,

but she's my only granddaughter.

I don't want her to think I'm a crook.

-You are a crook. -Picky, picky, picky.

I ask you to tell one lousy little lie

and you can't even do that right.

Hey, hey, hey, don't you lay this on me.

I tried to cover your tracks, but you leave big tracks.

-Ah! Stool pigeon! -Jailbird!

Loser!

BOTH: Oofa!

This man...

This man is so beautiful.

He took a rotten bum like me

and turned him into something that I just...

I never thought I'd be...

A friend.

Thanks, cupcake.

-Cupcake? -Shh!

He must work in the prison bakery.

Thank you, Torch.

Let it be noted Mr. Milano

has established an excellent rapport

with his fellow inmates.

Hi, Angela.

Oh. Yo, Torch.

But the parolee must also demonstrate

that he has good relations with his family.

Are any of Mr. Milano's relatives present?

Yeah, I am.

I'm Tony Micelli,

I'm Nick Milano's son-in-law

and I probably know him better than anyone else here.

I'll give you the real truth on him.

Tony, Tony, Tony, please. Tony, please.

Um. For years the name Nick Milano has meant three things to me.

Thief.

Liar.

And all-around rotten guy.

Thanks.

But since I've been coming here

and you know, I've seen him change.

I've seen a change come over Nick Milano,

and now I'm proud to call him...

Nick.

Well, so he's made a few mistakes.

Is that a crime?

Well, in this case it is.

But that's the great thing about this country.

You make a mistake, you pay for it,

they give you another chance.

I mean, hey,

is this the face of a hardened criminal?

If you believe in truth,

if you believe in justice,

if you believe in the good old American way,

you give Nick Milano another chance!

Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!

Oh, Tony, you were wonderful.

Just like Jimmy Stewart in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.

I was glued to my chair.

Come on, you're probably sitting in gum.

Order, order, please, order.

After hearing the testimony

and considering all the evidence,

the board has made a decision

concerning the early parole of Nicholas Milano.

Oh, this is it, fella.

Nick, you're out of here, baby.

Parole denied.

When I see injustice like that in the world,

it makes me so mad I just wanna...

Nick, how did you get out?

-How did you get in? -How'd you get here?

I took a cab.

You took a cab, or you took a cab?

I hailed the cab, I rode in it, I paid for it.

Tony, this turkey is a tad dry.

Got any mayo?

I'll give you dry. Listen to me!

You broke out of jail, Nick?

You're not supposed to do that!

You're supposed to stay there.

That's what the bars are for.

There ain't a minimum security prison built

that Nick Milano can't break out of.

Nick, I'm new at the prison game,

but it seems to me the parole board felt pretty strongly

that you should hang around for a few more months.

Those guys wouldn't know a reformed man

if he hit 'em over the head with a lead pipe.

So, I took it to a higher court.

-What higher court? -The big guy upstairs.

I went back to my cell,

I knelt on that cold hard cement floor

and said, "Lord,

"if you want me to stay

"in this rotten stinkin' hole,

"give me a sign."

Nothing happened, so I left.

I know just how you did it, too, huh?

The guards, they think you're asleep

in your crummy rotten cell. But that ain't you.

It's a life-like dummy made up of newspaper and spit.

But by the time the cops find out,

see you've flown the coop and you're suckin' free air, baby! Huh?

-Is that what happened? -Close.

I borrowed this uniform and I went out the back door.

I... I just couldn't stay in there

knowing that my little Sambina hated me.

Nick,

your sentence was up in eight months.

You could have strolled out a free man.

Now they're gonna be after you with dogs and guns.

Coming here? To my house?

It's worth the risk.

I'm not sure.

Gee, you know, it's awfully bright in here.

Uh, Tony, would you make sure

that it's not too bright in the rest of the house?

Angela, it's not like the cops are gonna surround us.

Well, I'm sorry, Tony. I'm just not as calm as the rest of you.

This happens to be my first fugitive.

Don't... Don't think of me as a fugitive.

Think of me as self-paroled.

I don't mean to be an ungracious hostess.

But would you go back to prison immediately?

Angela, please don't ask me to do that.

I gotta make it right with my little Sam, you know?

Oh, come on. What are you trying to do?

You're trying to break a grandfather's heart?

-Nick, you know... -Tony, we have to talk.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

-Now? -Now!

Be back.

Tony, I know this is very painful for you,

but you have got to turn him in.

Angela, it's not that simple.

I mean, where I come from, you don't rat on family.

Not even in-laws.

I mean, hey, this is the code of the street.

Well, Tony, where I come from,

a good citizen cooperates with the police.

And that is the code of the cul-de-sac.

All right, tell me all about it then.

What was the worst thing about doing time?

I...

I think it was the mixer with the women's prison.

Those girls are mean.

Not like you.

You've got style.

You've got grace.

You've got all of your teeth.

He's a fugitive.

Angela, he's family.

Well, Tony, I have a family myself to think about

and you're putting us all in jeopardy.

Oh, come on, Angela, just let him stay long enough to see Samantha.

You're putting her in jeopardy, too.

Tony, you have got to talk to him.

Angela, I just walked in the room.

I've got to work up to this.

Hi, Nick, hit the road.

I had a feeling it was gonna happen.

I guess I'm gonna have to be going.

Nick.

Where will you go?

I don't know.

Whatever hellhole fate dumps me in.

Probably Rio.

That settles that.

-Have a nice flight. -Oh! Oh, no! Wait a minute, Angela! Angela!

Come on, Tony, talk to her, will you?

Hey, talk to her yourself.

Come on, Angela, talk to me yourself.

Please, don't let me go like this.

I mean I just wanna see my little Sambina.

One more time, okay?

That's my only wish.

-SAMANTHA: Dad I'm home.

Thank you.

Could I have one more wish?

Dad, listen to me, I've got great news.

Sambina.

Hey, look who came to see you.

Your grandpa!

I don't have a grandpa.

-Sam.

-Samantha... -What?

Hey, remember, yesterday you said

you didn't want to be treated like a kid anymore?

-Yeah, so? -All right.

I'm gonna ask you to do something very grown-up.

-Go talk to you grandfather. -Forget it.

TONY: Wait! Wait a minute. What happened to grown-up?

That's the beauty of being 13. You could go either way.

This is your grandfather and he cares what you think.

Yeah? If he cares so much, why does he do all those rotten things?

-Sam, I don't know, because... -Because?

NICK: Because...

That's who I am.

Tony, please, could I?

Hey, it's not up to me.

It's okay, Dad.

I'll talk to him.

Kids are growing up fast these days.

NICK: Sambina,

Sam,

look...

There are two kinds of people.

The good kind and the bad kind.

Now your father,

he's the good kind.

The best kind.

Don't you dare tell him I ever told you that.

As for your grandfather...

I'm just no good.

I mean, if there's a right choice or a wrong choice,

I will pick the wrong choice.

I mean, nothing good ever came out of me...

Except your mother.

And you.

Hey, Sam,

do you really hate me?

Oh, Grandpa.

I don't hate you.

I just hate the things you do.

But I guess you were my grandpa before you were a crook.

Let me see...

I guess I was.

But now everything's great because you made parole.

Right... Wrong, wrong!

Look, Sam, about the...

Isn't that funny?

Happens to me every time I try to tell the truth...

Sam, the truth is...

I was in prison

working undercover for the government.

Stop that!

I didn't make parole.

I broke out of prison.

You escaped?

To see you.

I love you, Sam.

I love you, too.

But you escaped?

Talk about a wrong choice!

JONATHAN: Hey, Mom, open up. The door's locked.

It's Jonathan! What should I do?

Well, Angela, when you were a child

what I usually did was open the door.

Perhaps that's where I made my mistake.

Mother, I'm a little concerned about him.

There is a fugitive in the house.

You know he's very impressionable.

He could be psychologically damaged.

Hi, Tony. Hi, Mom. Hi, Grandma.

-Hi, Nick, how was prison? -It was a drag, kid.

Yeah, so is school. See ya.

Jonathan, let me borrow that radio.

Maybe there's some news about that

psychologically damaging fugitive.

That's some little girl we've got in there.

She's so good, she's so honest.

Well, she got that from my side of the family, Nick.

She wants me to go back to prison.

She wants me to finish my sentence.

I hope you said you would.

I told her I'd think about it very hard.

This is a very tough decision.

Prison... Rio...

Prison... Rio...

Prison... Rio.

Adios, amigos.

Nick, just once can't you do the right thing?

It is out of my hands.

Nick, adios.

Every time I see a Carmen Miranda movie,

I'll think of you.

Chickie, chickie boom chick!

Hey, hey, Nick.

There's something about the prison. Wait a minute.

What? Did they mention my name?

No, no, no. It's not about you. It's about...

The prison is so crowded that the Governor is gonna be letting people out.

A general amnesty?

That's just what he said.

Well, how general is this amnesty?

Anybody who's sentence is up within a year

should be out by the end of the week.

-That's me. That's me! -Yeah!

I'm free. I'm free from prison.

-But you're not in prison. -Uh-oh!

Oh, I think breaking out of prison

is going to affect your parole status.

No! Not if they don't know I escaped.

Bed check isn't until 10:00.

Well, Grandpa, did you think about what we talked about?

I did, sweetheart. I did. And I am going back to prison.

Fast! Taxi!

I'm going to give him a lift.

You can never get a taxi when you're breaking into prison.

Oh, I'm so glad Grandpa's going back to jail.

You know,

I feel I helped him make the right decision.

You did, baby.

-I'm gonna say goodbye. -I love you.

I love you, too.

How about that news report just when we needed it.

Unbelievable.

Go figure.

You think Nick's going to be mad

when he finds out I made it up?

You mean you lied?

There was no general amnesty?

That wasn't the Governor you heard?

No, but the Jets are up by seven at the half.

TONY: Who's the Boss? will be back in a moment.

Stick around.

They're here. They're here.

Tony and Sam are here.

Mom, how come Sam got to go to prison and I didn't?

Because Sam's grandfather is a convict, dear.

None of our relatives went to prison.

What a gyp.

Hey, we're back from the slammer.

Oh, hi. How'd you do? Is Nick talking to you yet?

Oh, yeah, he's talking to me. Sure.

He had plenty to say.

Most of it was Italian for "Have a nice day."

Look what Grandpa gave me.

Oh, neat! Did he make it himself?

No, no, his friend made that, you know.

His friend's in maximum security.

Grandpa is minimum security.

He makes business cards.

-He made you this one. -Oh!

"Nicholas Milano.

"Hardened Criminal."

Hey, Angela, I also have something for you.

A note from a secret admirer.

Who's that?

-Torch.