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1
00:00:08,590 --> 00:00:11,090
What are you doing?
2
00:00:11,090 --> 00:00:14,100
Oh, Colonel Shulkraut's
Happy Time Circus is in town.
3
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:18,600
Nothing says fun quite like
the name Shulkraut.
4
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:19,600
Well, now, now.
5
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,110
It may not be the biggest
or the brightest...
6
00:00:22,110 --> 00:00:23,610
or the safest circus
7
00:00:23,610 --> 00:00:25,110
but hey, it's all we got.
8
00:00:25,110 --> 00:00:27,610
Plus, I got free tickets
if I put that up.
9
00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:29,610
Oh, count me in.
10
00:00:29,610 --> 00:00:30,610
HELEN:
Hey, Joe.
11
00:00:30,610 --> 00:00:31,610
Hey.
12
00:00:31,610 --> 00:00:34,120
You want to go
to the circus?
13
00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:35,620
I hate the circus.
14
00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:39,620
Bad, bad things happen
at the circus.
15
00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:42,130
Hey, Antonio,
16
00:00:42,130 --> 00:00:44,130
we're all going
to the circus.
17
00:00:44,130 --> 00:00:45,130
You want to go?
18
00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:46,130
Oh, do I.
19
00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:47,630
I've never been
to the circus.
20
00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:48,630
You are kidding.
21
00:00:48,630 --> 00:00:51,630
My father always said
"Why pay for the circus?
22
00:00:51,630 --> 00:00:54,640
"If you want weird smells
and bearded ladies,
23
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:56,140
go visit your Aunt Graziella."
24
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:10,650
(roaring)
25
00:01:10,650 --> 00:01:13,660
(imitates thundering footfalls)
26
00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:17,660
Toot!
27
00:01:22,670 --> 00:01:24,670
Explanation, please.
28
00:01:24,670 --> 00:01:27,670
Well, Emily,
this girl I've been seeing,
29
00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:29,170
is coming in from Boston.
30
00:01:29,170 --> 00:01:32,680
And, uh, I want to make
a good impression.
31
00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:34,680
I hope that puppet's
stuffed with money,
32
00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:37,180
'cause that's your only shot.
33
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:40,180
No, it's for her son,
and I haven't met him yet.
34
00:01:40,180 --> 00:01:41,690
But you know these single moms--
35
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,190
if the kid doesn't like you,
then you're out.
36
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:46,690
So Operation Suck-up
starts tonight.
37
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,190
Oh, and I got tickets
38
00:01:48,190 --> 00:01:51,700
to Colonel Shulkraut's
Happy Time Circus.
39
00:01:52,700 --> 00:01:54,700
Oh.
40
00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:56,700
The circus.
41
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,700
All right, what
is it with you?
42
00:01:58,700 --> 00:01:59,700
Ever since we were kids,
43
00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:01,700
as soon as someone brings up
the circus,
44
00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:03,210
you get all dark and creepy.
45
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:06,710
That's because bad, bad things
happen at the circus.
46
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:08,710
(door closes)
47
00:02:10,210 --> 00:02:11,210
Hey, Helen.
Hey.
48
00:02:11,210 --> 00:02:13,220
So, how was the circus?
49
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:15,220
Well, Colonel Shulkraut,
the ringmaster,
50
00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:18,720
is kind of losing it.
51
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:22,230
I don't know if an 80-year-old
with a top hat and no pants
52
00:02:22,230 --> 00:02:23,730
is the greatest show on earth.
53
00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:29,230
Oh, wasn't...
54
00:02:29,230 --> 00:02:32,740
wasn't that circus
incredible?
55
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:34,740
Oh, Casey...
56
00:02:34,740 --> 00:02:39,740
Casey, it was a magical world
of wonder and illusion
57
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:42,750
and places you shouldn't step.
58
00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:47,750
CASEY:
Hey, Roy, did you have
a good time at the circus?
59
00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,750
(whimpering)
60
00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:53,760
What's his problem?
Oh...
61
00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:56,760
There was a little incident
62
00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,260
involving Roy
and Bippy the Clown.
63
00:03:00,260 --> 00:03:02,270
A "little" incident?
64
00:03:02,270 --> 00:03:04,770
Casey, it was awful.
65
00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:07,770
Bippy the Clown chose Roy
out of the audience--
66
00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:09,270
totally humiliated him.
67
00:03:09,270 --> 00:03:10,270
ANTONIO:
Oh, come on.
68
00:03:10,270 --> 00:03:12,280
Helen, it's a circus.
69
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,280
It was funny.
70
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,780
You thought it was funny
when he took Roy's hair
71
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,780
and greased his unicycle wheel?
72
00:03:18,780 --> 00:03:20,280
(laughing)
73
00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:22,290
That was hilarious.
74
00:03:22,290 --> 00:03:25,790
Did you think it was hilarious
when he took Roy's belt
75
00:03:25,790 --> 00:03:28,790
and had four clowns
jump rope with it?
76
00:03:28,790 --> 00:03:32,800
Yeah, I spilled my popcorn.
77
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:33,800
And I guess
it was a riot
78
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,300
when he stole
Roy's hot dog
79
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:37,800
and made him beg for it
like a trained seal.
80
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,800
(barking)
81
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:42,310
Maybe you're right.
82
00:03:42,310 --> 00:03:43,810
That wasn't so good.
83
00:03:43,810 --> 00:03:44,810
Are you kidding?
84
00:03:44,810 --> 00:03:45,810
That was funny.
85
00:03:49,810 --> 00:03:50,810
Brian? Hi.
86
00:03:50,810 --> 00:03:51,810
Emily, hey, hey.
87
00:03:51,810 --> 00:03:52,820
Hey, where's Shawn?
88
00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:54,320
I got him a
little something.
89
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:55,820
Oh, that's very sweet.
90
00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:57,320
The pilot's showing him
the cockpit.
91
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,820
He just loves planes.
92
00:03:58,820 --> 00:04:00,320
Great. Then he's got
to love a pilot.
93
00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:02,330
Boy, I can't wait to
meet the little guy.
94
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:06,330
Mom.
95
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,330
Uh...
96
00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:11,830
Why is that man calling you
97
00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:14,340
such a highly
inappropriate name?
98
00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:15,840
Brian, this
is my son, Shawn.
99
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,840
Hey, man.
How's it going?
100
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:18,840
Hey.
101
00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:20,840
Wow, you're a...
102
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:23,850
you're a big boy, aren't you?
103
00:04:23,850 --> 00:04:25,350
I wish. I'd be playing
pro ball right now
104
00:04:25,850 --> 00:04:27,350
instead of going
to medical school.
105
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,350
Brian, why don't you give him
the gift you bought him?
106
00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:33,860
Man, you didn't have
to do that.
107
00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:35,360
So what did you get me?
108
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:38,360
Uh, well, I don't-I don't, uh...
109
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,360
Come on,
what did you get me?
110
00:04:45,370 --> 00:04:46,370
All right.
111
00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:48,370
A beer cozy.
112
00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:49,370
That's right.
113
00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:50,870
Yeah, yeah.
114
00:04:50,870 --> 00:04:54,380
Uh, maybe I should check
on the luggage.
115
00:04:54,380 --> 00:04:56,380
Thanks, honey.
116
00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:58,380
Um, Brian?
Hmm?
117
00:04:58,380 --> 00:04:59,880
Is something wrong?
118
00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:03,890
Oh, he's a great
big boy, isn't he?
119
00:05:03,890 --> 00:05:05,890
Oh, you thought
he'd be younger, didn't you?
120
00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:08,390
Well... yeah.
121
00:05:08,390 --> 00:05:09,890
(pager beeping)
122
00:05:09,890 --> 00:05:10,890
That's my office.
Oh.
123
00:05:11,390 --> 00:05:12,900
I've got a building
in escrow.
Okay.
124
00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:13,900
I'll be right back.
125
00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:15,900
Sure.
126
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,900
Joe, Joe.
127
00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:20,900
I've got a problem.
128
00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:24,910
Emily's kid is really big
and needs a shave.
129
00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:27,410
Well, look, Brian,
130
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:28,910
if you're going to be
in a relationship with her,
131
00:05:28,910 --> 00:05:29,910
the kid is part of the deal.
132
00:05:29,910 --> 00:05:31,910
So you're just going to have
to close your eyes
133
00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:34,420
and play with him anyway.
134
00:05:38,420 --> 00:05:39,420
No, no, no.
135
00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:42,430
I mean that he's got to be
at least 21 years old.
136
00:05:42,430 --> 00:05:43,930
So?
137
00:05:43,930 --> 00:05:45,430
Well, so, if he's 21,
138
00:05:45,430 --> 00:05:47,930
then that means that
she's got to be...
139
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:50,930
Five...
140
00:05:50,930 --> 00:05:53,440
Over 21.
141
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,940
Brian, if you want to find out
how old Emily is, just ask her.
142
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,940
You can't just ask a
woman what her age is.
143
00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:00,940
Why not? I asked Fay.
144
00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:02,450
She's 49.
145
00:06:04,450 --> 00:06:05,450
You're making a big deal
out of this.
146
00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:06,950
Stop being such a baby.
147
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,450
Oh, I'm a baby?
148
00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:10,450
When's the last time
you went to...
149
00:06:10,450 --> 00:06:12,960
the circus?
150
00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:16,460
The circus.
151
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:19,460
The circus... no.
152
00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:20,960
So is everything
okay at the office?
153
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,470
Great.
154
00:06:22,470 --> 00:06:23,470
They're not going
to bother us
155
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:24,970
for at least a week.
156
00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:25,970
Oh, great, great.
157
00:06:25,970 --> 00:06:27,970
Because I'm really
looking forward
158
00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,470
to hanging out
with you some.
159
00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:31,980
I mean, there's so much
I still don't know about you.
160
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:33,480
Like, for instance,
161
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:36,980
uh, I've never seen
your driver's license.
162
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:38,980
I'm 41, Brian.
163
00:06:38,980 --> 00:06:40,980
Oh, where did you
get that from?
164
00:06:40,980 --> 00:06:42,990
No, I just wanted to know
165
00:06:42,990 --> 00:06:45,490
if you were an organ donor,
that's all.
166
00:06:45,490 --> 00:06:46,490
Well, bad news.
167
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,490
Our luggage didn't make
the flight.
168
00:06:48,490 --> 00:06:49,490
Oh, no.
169
00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:50,990
Don't worry about it.
170
00:06:50,990 --> 00:06:51,990
I'll stay here
and wait for it.
171
00:06:51,990 --> 00:06:54,000
They said it's going to be
on the next flight.
172
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,000
Okay, thanks, sweetie.
We'll meet you at the hotel.
173
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,500
Yeah, and great meeting you,
Shawn.
174
00:06:56,500 --> 00:07:00,000
And next time you hoist one
with that pup... that beer cozy,
175
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,510
think of me, huh?
176
00:07:09,010 --> 00:07:11,010
Excuse me,
how's the chili?
177
00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:12,520
I don't work here.
178
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:14,020
Oh, sorry.
179
00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:16,020
It stinks.
180
00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:18,520
What about the cheeseburger?
181
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:20,520
Don't go there.
182
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,030
Coffee?
183
00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:24,030
Oh, uh...
184
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,530
well, what do you recommend?
185
00:07:29,530 --> 00:07:31,530
Eating someplace else.
186
00:07:31,530 --> 00:07:32,540
Okay.
187
00:07:32,540 --> 00:07:34,540
But I don't know the island.
188
00:07:34,540 --> 00:07:36,540
If you're not doing anything
right now,
189
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,540
would you like to join me?
190
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:40,040
Oh, you know, I don't know...
191
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,050
I guess I'm free.
192
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,560
Ah.
193
00:07:58,560 --> 00:07:59,560
Good morning.
194
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,060
Oh, it is now.
195
00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:02,570
Want some coffee?
196
00:08:02,570 --> 00:08:04,570
Yeah, I'd love some.
Okay.
197
00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:06,070
Good morning, Brian.
198
00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:07,070
Oh, sorry.
199
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:08,570
I didn't know
you had company.
200
00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:10,570
Emily, this is
my roommate, Casey.
201
00:08:10,570 --> 00:08:11,570
Hi.
Hi.
202
00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:13,080
Nice to meet you.
203
00:08:14,580 --> 00:08:16,580
Morning.
204
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:18,580
Shawn?
205
00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:19,580
Mom?
Mom?!
206
00:08:19,580 --> 00:08:21,080
Shawn?
207
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:36,600
Brian... what exactly
happened this morning?
208
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,100
Well, I don't know,
but it was a little weird.
209
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:41,100
Well, you know, I guess it
wasn't that weird, really.
210
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:43,610
I mean, let's...
let's break it down.
211
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:45,610
We're dating a mother
and her son.
212
00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:48,110
If we marry these people,
you will be my stepfather,
213
00:08:48,610 --> 00:08:50,110
and my sister is already married
to your brother
214
00:08:50,110 --> 00:08:53,620
and we have slept together.
215
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,120
Oh, God.
Somebody's going to end up
216
00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,620
with a two-headed kid.
217
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,120
Oh, God.
218
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,620
What are we
going to do?
219
00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:02,630
Well, there's only
one thing to do.
220
00:09:02,630 --> 00:09:04,130
You have to dump Shawn.
221
00:09:04,130 --> 00:09:05,630
Forget it!
I haven't found
222
00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:07,630
a guy I like this
much in a long time.
223
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,130
You dump Mommy.
224
00:09:09,130 --> 00:09:11,130
No, no, no.
No, Mommy's a keeper.
225
00:09:11,130 --> 00:09:12,640
We're just going
to have to stay
226
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,640
out of each other's way,
that's all.
227
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:15,640
How are we going
to do that?
228
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,640
I mean, we live in
the same house.
229
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,640
All right, all right.
Whoever's home first
230
00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:21,140
just has to put a signal
on the door
231
00:09:21,140 --> 00:09:23,150
to warn the other couple
not to come in.
232
00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:25,650
For instance,
if you're home with Shawn,
233
00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:28,650
you just put out
a sign that says...
234
00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:30,650
"Baby on board."
235
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:38,160
Okay. And if you're
there with his mommy,
236
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:42,670
and you're settling in
for a night of Matlock...
237
00:09:42,670 --> 00:09:46,170
you know, you can just
put out her teeth.
238
00:09:49,670 --> 00:09:51,670
Look...
239
00:09:51,670 --> 00:09:53,680
why don't we just do
what we did in college:
240
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,680
Put a tie on the doorknob.
241
00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:59,680
Oh, okay. I will do it,
but it's just so juvenile.
242
00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:01,180
Oh. Got to go.
243
00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:03,690
I'm meeting Shawn
at the video arcade.
244
00:10:05,190 --> 00:10:06,690
(knocking on door)
245
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:08,190
Yeah?
246
00:10:11,190 --> 00:10:12,700
(voice quavering):
I'm, uh...
247
00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:14,700
I'm sorry to bother you,
but, uh...
248
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:16,700
I got some Sandpiper
mail by mistake.
249
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,200
Here you go.
250
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,700
Again, I'm sorry
251
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,200
if I disturbed you.
252
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,210
(moans softly)
253
00:10:23,210 --> 00:10:25,210
Are you okay?
254
00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:26,710
(voice breaking):
Uh-huh.
255
00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:32,210
It's the circus,
isn't it?
256
00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:36,720
Oh, forget it, Hackett.
257
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,220
You wouldn't understand.
258
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:41,720
Maybe I would.
259
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,230
It was that clown Bippy.
260
00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:46,230
He took away my dignity.
261
00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:49,230
He humiliated me
in front of all of those people.
262
00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:50,730
It was hell.
263
00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:52,240
I told you, Roy--
264
00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:55,240
bad, bad things
happen at the circus.
265
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:58,240
What happened to you
under the big top?
266
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,740
I don't want
to talk about it.
267
00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:02,250
Oh, come on, Hackett.
268
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,250
I can see it's eating
you up inside.
269
00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:12,760
It was an elephant.
270
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:13,760
(gasps)
271
00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:15,260
I was six years old.
272
00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:17,260
My father took me
to the circus.
273
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,260
I'd been looking forward
to it for weeks.
274
00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:21,760
There I was,
sitting in the front row
275
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:24,770
with my Orange Crush
watching the Flying Zambinis.
276
00:11:24,770 --> 00:11:26,270
Tough break about
most of those guys.
277
00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:28,270
Yeah, I know.
278
00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:32,270
Anyway, suddenly, I felt
this tugging at my drink.
279
00:11:32,270 --> 00:11:34,780
I looked over
and there it was--
280
00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:39,280
a big, hairy elephant trunk
inhaling my Orange Crush.
281
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:40,780
I'll never forget
282
00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:44,290
the slurp, slurp, slurping
sound it made.
283
00:11:44,290 --> 00:11:45,290
(slurps)
284
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:48,290
And then...
285
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:49,790
and then...
286
00:11:49,790 --> 00:11:52,300
Come on, Hackett,
get it all out.
287
00:11:52,290 --> 00:11:54,300
And then it sneezed.
(gasps)
288
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:57,300
I ran out of there
289
00:11:57,300 --> 00:12:00,800
and I never set foot
in that evil place again.
290
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,810
Wow, how can you get over
something like that?
291
00:12:02,810 --> 00:12:04,310
I didn't...
but you can, Roy.
292
00:12:04,310 --> 00:12:05,810
It's not too late.
293
00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:07,310
The circus is still in town.
294
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:10,810
You go back there and demand
an apology from that clown.
295
00:12:10,810 --> 00:12:11,810
I can't.
296
00:12:12,310 --> 00:12:13,320
You have to, Roy.
297
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,320
You don't want
to wind up like me,
298
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,320
paying 30 cents extra for gas
299
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,820
'cause you're too scared to use
the self-service hose.
300
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:27,830
Helen... Helen.
301
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,330
I've made a decision
in my life
302
00:12:30,330 --> 00:12:33,840
and I don't want you
to talk me out of it.
303
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:37,340
I'm going to run away
and join the circus.
304
00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:44,850
Well, normally,
I'd say that's insane,
305
00:12:44,850 --> 00:12:46,850
but we're talking
about you here
306
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,350
so best of luck.
307
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:50,850
I've given this
a lot of thought,
308
00:12:51,350 --> 00:12:53,860
so I'm not going to go
do something stupid
309
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,860
or something
I'm unqualified for
310
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:58,860
like trapeze artist
or lion tamer,
311
00:12:58,860 --> 00:13:02,370
but... how much
skill does it take
312
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,370
to be fired
out of a cannon?
313
00:13:04,370 --> 00:13:05,370
Huh?
314
00:13:05,370 --> 00:13:08,370
I mean, if a ball
of lead can do it...
315
00:13:10,370 --> 00:13:12,880
You know, normally
I'd say that's crazy
316
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:14,380
and you're risking
your life for nothing,
317
00:13:14,380 --> 00:13:15,380
but best of luck.
318
00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:16,880
(laughs)
319
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,380
That's what I thought.
320
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:22,890
My career is about to take off.
321
00:13:22,890 --> 00:13:24,390
(imitates cannon firing)
322
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:41,400
Hey, Antonio,
323
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:42,400
where are you going
so dressed up?
324
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,410
I'm trying out for
the human cannonball.
325
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,910
Would you like me
to light a fire?
326
00:13:49,910 --> 00:13:51,410
Oh, God, yes!
327
00:13:51,410 --> 00:13:52,920
I... I mean...
328
00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:56,920
Sure. That would be nice.
329
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:09,930
(chuckles)
330
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:10,930
Oh, yeah.
331
00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:13,440
Feels good.
332
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,440
Oh... yeah.
333
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,440
Feels more good.
334
00:14:21,940 --> 00:14:23,450
Oh, mama!
335
00:14:23,450 --> 00:14:24,450
Yeah, sweetie?
336
00:14:24,450 --> 00:14:25,450
(screams)
337
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:26,450
(both scream)
338
00:14:30,450 --> 00:14:31,450
What the hell happened?
339
00:14:31,450 --> 00:14:32,960
Didn't you see the tie?
340
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:33,960
There was no tie!
341
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,460
You forgot to
leave a signal!
342
00:14:35,460 --> 00:14:36,960
That tie was
some kind of signal?
343
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,460
I should have known that
you would screw this up.
344
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,960
You are always
screwing up my life.
345
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,460
I swear, one day
when you least expect it,
346
00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:43,970
you're just going to...
you're just going to get it.
347
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:46,470
She has very deep
emotional problems.
348
00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:49,970
The state pays me
to let her live here.
349
00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:50,970
You know, obviously,
350
00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:53,480
this is a little awkward
for all of us.
351
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:54,980
Uh... yeah.
352
00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:56,980
So instead of avoiding
the situation,
353
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,480
let's just deal with it.
354
00:14:58,480 --> 00:14:59,980
Okay? Why don't we all
355
00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:01,480
go to dinner together
tomorrow night.
356
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:02,990
Huh, Brian?
357
00:15:02,990 --> 00:15:03,990
Sure. Sounds good. Yeah.
358
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:04,990
Okay. That's fine.
359
00:15:04,990 --> 00:15:06,490
Yeah, that's
a great idea.
360
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:07,990
I mean, after all,
361
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,990
there's nothing that
weird going on here.
362
00:15:09,990 --> 00:15:10,990
Oh, stupid me.
363
00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:13,500
I forgot my helmet.
364
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,000
They're going to give me
365
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,500
something called
a brain impact test.
366
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,000
Be home late...
367
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,000
unless they aim the cannon
this way.
368
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:34,520
So the shoe salesman says,
"Lady, you're an eight
369
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:38,020
but with a bigger set
of knockers, you'd be a ten."
370
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:40,020
(chortling)
371
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:42,020
Hey, hey, that's a smart joke.
372
00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:43,030
You guys suck.
373
00:15:43,030 --> 00:15:44,530
Get out of here.
374
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,030
(knocking)
375
00:15:49,030 --> 00:15:50,030
Excuse me. Mr. Bippy?
376
00:15:50,530 --> 00:15:52,530
Could I talk to you
for a minute?
377
00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:55,040
Oh, uh, Pauly told me
it'd be another week
378
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,040
before he sent in his goons.
379
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,540
My name is Roy Biggins.
380
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:00,540
You pulled me out
of the audience
381
00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:01,540
during one of your shows.
382
00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:02,540
You remember me?
383
00:16:04,550 --> 00:16:06,050
Yeah, well, I should.
384
00:16:06,050 --> 00:16:08,050
I must've gotten a hernia.
385
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:09,050
(laughing)
386
00:16:09,050 --> 00:16:10,550
See? He's mean.
Let's go.
387
00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:13,560
No. Come on, come on, there,
buddy, you can do this.
388
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:15,560
Look, I don't have any idea
who you are.
389
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:18,560
I do two shows a day
for three weeks straight...
390
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,060
and I drink.
391
00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:23,070
So I get what you call "lapses."
392
00:16:23,070 --> 00:16:26,070
Well, maybe I can refresh
your memory.
393
00:16:26,070 --> 00:16:28,570
(barking like a seal)
394
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:30,070
Oh! Oh! Big guy, third row!
395
00:16:30,070 --> 00:16:31,570
That was a good night.
396
00:16:31,570 --> 00:16:32,570
Man, I was on fire.
397
00:16:32,570 --> 00:16:35,580
Do you have an idea what
you've done to this man?
398
00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:37,580
Hackett, if this is
going to mean anything,
399
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,080
I got to handle it
by myself.
400
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:40,580
That's okay, Roy,
I'm here for you.
401
00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:42,080
No...
402
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,090
really, it's okay.
403
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,590
(elephant trumpeting)
404
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:50,590
Please don't make me
go out there.
405
00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:52,590
Come on, Hackett!
406
00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:54,100
You can do it.
407
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,100
Come on.
408
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:56,600
(elephant trumpeting)
409
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,600
Oh, for cryin' out loud...
410
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,600
Get out...
(thud)
411
00:17:03,610 --> 00:17:05,110
So what do you want
with me, huh?
412
00:17:05,110 --> 00:17:07,610
This isn't one of those
nuisance suits, is it?
413
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:10,610
'Cause if it is...
414
00:17:10,610 --> 00:17:11,610
I want an apology.
415
00:17:11,610 --> 00:17:13,120
Oh, come on, for what?
416
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,620
I was just doing my job.
417
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:17,120
Is your job preying
on people's weaknesses
418
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,120
and humiliating them in public?
419
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:21,620
Yeah.
420
00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:24,130
Well, then it's vicious
and abusive.
421
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,630
And if what you need to do
is make other people feel bad
422
00:17:26,630 --> 00:17:30,130
so you can feel good,
you must be a very unhappy man.
423
00:17:30,130 --> 00:17:32,130
What makes you think
I'm unhappy, huh?
424
00:17:32,130 --> 00:17:33,640
'Cause I'm living in luxury.
425
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:38,140
I'm pulling down
almost six Gs a year.
426
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:39,640
Don't give me that sob story.
427
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,140
I don't care about any of that.
428
00:17:41,140 --> 00:17:42,140
Why would you?
429
00:17:42,140 --> 00:17:43,650
You hotshot types
never care,
430
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:46,650
with your hundred-dollar suits
and your fancy coifs.
431
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,650
(chuckling)
432
00:17:49,650 --> 00:17:52,150
Well, maybe your life
isn't so great.
433
00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:53,160
"Isn't so great"?
434
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,660
Look at me, I'm about
as low as you go.
435
00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:58,660
No, actually, there was
this schnook cab driver
436
00:17:58,660 --> 00:17:59,660
who came in the other day
437
00:17:59,660 --> 00:18:04,170
wanting the human
cannonball job, all right?
438
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:06,170
That's as low as you go.
439
00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:13,680
CASEY:
Mmm!
440
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,680
Now, remember, there is
nothing strange about this.
441
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,180
That's right--
442
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,680
we're just having dinner
with our dates...
443
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,180
Mrs. Palmer...
444
00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:21,680
And her son.
445
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,690
(doorbell rings)
446
00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:25,690
Okay.
447
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,690
(clears throat)
448
00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:31,690
Hi.
449
00:18:31,690 --> 00:18:32,690
Hi.
450
00:18:32,690 --> 00:18:33,700
Oh.
451
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,200
Hey!
Hey!
452
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,200
Hi! Come on in.
453
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,200
Nice.
454
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,200
Yeah.
455
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,710
Sit down.
456
00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:44,210
(groaning)
457
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:45,210
(chuckling)
458
00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:53,720
This is really nice.
459
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,720
Lovely.
460
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:59,220
Nice...
461
00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:01,220
Okay, you know what, you guys?
We can do this.
462
00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:03,730
I think we're just trying
a little too hard.
463
00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:04,730
Yeah, Casey's right.
464
00:19:04,730 --> 00:19:06,730
I think we should just relax
465
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:09,230
and just have a regular...
a regular conversation.
466
00:19:09,230 --> 00:19:11,230
Yeah.
So, Shawn, you're in
medical school, man, right?
467
00:19:11,230 --> 00:19:12,740
That's pretty
impressive.
468
00:19:12,730 --> 00:19:14,240
I'm really proud of him.
469
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,240
He's worked so hard.
470
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:16,740
You're telling me.
471
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:17,740
It's a real grind.
472
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:21,240
That's why I've decided
to take next year off.
473
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,250
What?
474
00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:27,250
Casey and I are going to
bum around South America.
475
00:19:29,250 --> 00:19:31,750
Shawn's a little burned out
after medical school,
476
00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:34,760
and, well, after my three months
at the department store,
477
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,260
well, I'm fried.
478
00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:39,760
I-I don't believe
what I'm hearing.
479
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:43,770
Do you know how hard it was
to get him into medical school?
480
00:19:43,770 --> 00:19:45,270
Mom, it's my life.
481
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:47,270
Not while I'm paying for it,
it's not.
482
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,270
Now, now, now.
483
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,770
It's not necessarily
484
00:19:49,770 --> 00:19:51,270
set in stone.
485
00:19:51,770 --> 00:19:54,280
Have you kids thought
this plan through?
486
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,280
Traveling through
South America
487
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,780
can be pretty expensive.
488
00:19:59,780 --> 00:20:01,780
We know that--
we're not idiots.
489
00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:04,790
We're going to sell huaraches
by the side of the road
490
00:20:04,790 --> 00:20:07,290
and, like, grow
our own food and stuff.
491
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:10,290
Oh, my God, you are not
going anywhere, young man.
492
00:20:10,290 --> 00:20:13,300
You're finishing medical
school, like we planned.
493
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:14,800
"We"?
494
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:15,800
You can't run
our lives!
495
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,800
Don't take that tone
with us, young lady.
496
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:19,800
Oh, God!
497
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,800
We do not want
your bourgeois lifestyle.
498
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:26,310
Have you forgotten what
it's like to be our age?
499
00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:29,810
What are you talking about?
I am your age.
500
00:20:29,810 --> 00:20:30,810
No, you're not.
501
00:20:30,810 --> 00:20:32,310
Casey's only 24.
502
00:20:32,310 --> 00:20:34,320
(stifling a sob)
503
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,320
BRIAN:
Ho!
504
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:38,820
You've got chutzpah, lady.
505
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,830
She's 34, and that's
what she'll admit to.
506
00:20:43,830 --> 00:20:45,330
Is that true?
507
00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:46,830
I... I can't believe
508
00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:49,830
I ever slept with you!
509
00:20:49,830 --> 00:20:52,330
You slept with my
son's girlfriend?
510
00:20:52,330 --> 00:20:53,840
Well, uh, yes...
511
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:56,340
But she wasn't his
girlfriend at the time.
512
00:20:56,340 --> 00:20:58,340
She was my...
sister-in-law.
513
00:20:58,340 --> 00:20:59,840
Exactly.
514
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,840
Honey, are you sure you want
to quit medical school
515
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,350
for this woman?
516
00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:05,350
I mean, she's so much
older than you.
Oh, now, wait a second,
517
00:21:05,350 --> 00:21:06,850
wait a second, we don't
necessarily have to make
518
00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:08,850
age an issue here.
519
00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:10,350
I mean, you're a whole
lot older than me
520
00:21:10,850 --> 00:21:12,350
and I got over it.
521
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,860
"Got over it"?
522
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:18,860
I didn't think
it was a problem.
523
00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:20,860
Well, it's not anymore.
524
00:21:20,860 --> 00:21:22,360
"Anymore"?
525
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:24,870
Any more... wine?
526
00:21:24,870 --> 00:21:26,870
Come on, Shawn.
We're leaving.
527
00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:27,870
Hey! Shawn's not
528
00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:29,870
five years old,
and he's not just
529
00:21:29,870 --> 00:21:31,870
going to "go home
with his mommy."
530
00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:34,380
If you stay in med school,
I'll buy you a new car.
531
00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:35,380
Bye!
532
00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:40,880
Mama's boy!
533
00:21:43,890 --> 00:21:46,390
Well... that got ugly.
534
00:21:46,390 --> 00:21:49,390
Yeah... and faster
than usual.
535
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,400
How you doing, Roy?
536
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,400
I made a friend.
537
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,400
How about you, Hackett?
538
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,400
It was incredible.
539
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:02,910
I had a complete
breakthrough.
540
00:22:03,410 --> 00:22:04,410
I met the lion-tamer,
541
00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:06,410
I watched the jugglers
rehearse...
542
00:22:06,410 --> 00:22:08,410
Look, I'm drinking
an Orange Crush!
543
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:10,410
Good for you, Hackett.
544
00:22:10,410 --> 00:22:12,410
Listen, I really
got to thank you
545
00:22:12,410 --> 00:22:14,420
for making me
come with you.
546
00:22:14,420 --> 00:22:16,920
I feel like...
after all these years,
547
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:20,420
my circus nightmare
is finally over.
548
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:24,930
(slurping)
36673
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