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1
00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:08,590
Hey.
Hey.
2
00:00:08,590 --> 00:00:10,090
What are you doing?
3
00:00:10,090 --> 00:00:12,600
Making a photo album of
our first year together.
4
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:15,100
Look. Here's you and me
and Brian and Casey
5
00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:16,600
on our wedding day.
6
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,600
And here's you and me
and Brian and Casey
7
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,600
just after
the honeymoon.
8
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:22,610
And here's you
and Brian and Casey
9
00:00:22,610 --> 00:00:24,610
carrying me over
the threshold.
10
00:00:24,610 --> 00:00:26,610
What are
you doing?
11
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,110
That's it.
12
00:00:28,110 --> 00:00:30,110
I am not going
through another year
13
00:00:30,110 --> 00:00:32,120
without a picture
of us alone.
14
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:33,620
Good.
15
00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:34,620
Okay, you ready?
16
00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:36,120
Here we go.
(camera beeping)
17
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,620
Smile.
18
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,120
Oh, hey, look,
they're taking a picture!
19
00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:40,120
Come on.
Hey!
20
00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:41,120
No, wait.
Here we go.
21
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,130
We're just getting
this one...
22
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,130
No! No! No!
23
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:57,640
Roy.
24
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:58,640
Hmm?
25
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,640
Have you tried
cyber-dating yet?
26
00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,150
I'm thinking of answering
this ad.
27
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:05,150
"Six foot, two,
athletic doctor
28
00:01:05,150 --> 00:01:07,150
seeks loving,
affectionate mate."
29
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,650
Let me translate that
for you, Cochran.
30
00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:10,650
"Six foot, two..."
31
00:01:10,650 --> 00:01:15,660
That means five foot,
five in lifts.
32
00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:17,660
"Athletic doctor..."
33
00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:19,660
Flabby shut-in.
34
00:01:19,660 --> 00:01:22,670
"Seeks loving,
affectionate mate..."
35
00:01:22,670 --> 00:01:24,170
Big-time horn dog.
36
00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:27,170
Roy, you are so cynical.
37
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:30,170
There are honest people
left in the world.
38
00:01:30,170 --> 00:01:34,680
"Dear Dr. Gorgeous...
(typing)
39
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:39,680
"I-I-I'm a buff Uma Thurman
look-alike...
40
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:43,190
and I'm ready for my checkup."
41
00:01:44,690 --> 00:01:46,690
Would you forget
about it, Brian?
42
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:47,690
We can't afford it.
43
00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:49,190
But it was the
perfect house--
44
00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:51,700
three bedrooms,
fireplace, a deck.
45
00:01:51,690 --> 00:01:53,700
Yeah, way too much money.
Let it go.
46
00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:55,200
I can't let it go--
Joe and Helen
47
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,700
want us out of the house
by Monday,
48
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:59,200
but there's no other
decent rental on the island.
49
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,700
Would you stop exaggerating?
50
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:03,210
What was wrong with that
cute cottage on Meadow Lane?
51
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:05,210
Nothing. Except
we'd have to take care
52
00:02:05,210 --> 00:02:08,210
of the 500-pound woman
in the back bedroom.
53
00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:10,710
You're right.
That other house is perfect.
54
00:02:10,710 --> 00:02:13,720
I mean, flower boxes
and a porch swing.
55
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,720
A built-in vanity
with a day-night dimmer.
56
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,720
Oh, well. You're just
a big girl, aren't you?
57
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,230
Hey, everybody.
58
00:02:22,230 --> 00:02:24,230
It sure is a great
day, isn't it?
59
00:02:24,230 --> 00:02:25,730
Yeah. What's so
great about it?
60
00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:28,730
Oh, well, the sky is blue,
the birds are a-singin',
61
00:02:28,730 --> 00:02:31,230
I'm having sex
like a jackrabbit.
62
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:33,740
(whistles)
Wow.
63
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:35,740
What's that
setting you back?
64
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,740
No. No. With my
girlfriend Elise.
65
00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:43,250
Elise? Is that still going on?
66
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:44,750
It sure is, baby.
67
00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:45,750
You are kidding.
68
00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:46,750
I mean,
that is just...
69
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,250
Why? Why? Why is it
so hard to believe
70
00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:51,250
that a beautiful woman
like Elise
71
00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:53,260
could fall for a guy
like me?
72
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:56,760
Because your last girlfriend
was a troll and dumped you.
73
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,260
She wasn't a troll.
74
00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:01,260
She lived under a bridge
and had a beard.
75
00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:03,270
What would you call her?
76
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,770
Well, I don't care
what you think.
77
00:03:05,770 --> 00:03:08,270
As I said to Elise
this morning
78
00:03:08,270 --> 00:03:10,270
when I woke up
at her apartment,
79
00:03:10,270 --> 00:03:12,780
you know, in her arms
in her bed,
80
00:03:12,780 --> 00:03:14,780
I said, "Boy, we sure had
81
00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:17,280
a lot of sex last night,
didn't we?"
82
00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:18,780
Antonio,
83
00:03:18,780 --> 00:03:20,280
we get it.
84
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,790
You're spending all
of your time at Elise's.
85
00:03:22,790 --> 00:03:25,290
Wait a minute. So that means
that you're never home,
86
00:03:25,290 --> 00:03:26,290
doesn't it?
87
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,790
Right. And that's
because we're having great...
88
00:03:28,790 --> 00:03:31,290
Yeah, I know,
I know, I know.
89
00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:33,300
But, uh...
90
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,800
Who looks out for
your stuff, huh?
91
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:36,800
Who takes in your mail?
92
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,300
Who waters the plants?
93
00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:41,300
Sounds like you could
use some... roommates.
94
00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:42,810
Yeah. Roommates.
95
00:03:42,810 --> 00:03:46,310
Well, wh-who would want
to move into my place?
96
00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,310
I only have room for one bed
97
00:03:48,310 --> 00:03:50,810
and my bathroom
is really just a toilet
98
00:03:50,810 --> 00:03:53,320
with a courtesy drape.
99
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,820
Um, what exactly
is a courtesy drape?
100
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,320
Uh, actually,
I was boasting.
101
00:03:58,820 --> 00:04:01,320
It's really more
of a thin sheet.
102
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,830
When the light hits
it a certain way,
103
00:04:03,830 --> 00:04:06,330
you might as well
be on stage.
104
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,330
Uh...
105
00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:10,330
anyhoo...
106
00:04:10,330 --> 00:04:11,840
uh, Antonio...
107
00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:13,340
we have got
an extra bedroom
108
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:15,840
in this great new house
we want to rent.
109
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,840
Why don't you just move in
with us?
110
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:20,340
Yeah, it's a great house
in a beautiful neighborhood.
111
00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:21,850
Why don't you come
and take a look?
112
00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:25,350
Well, I guess it might be
nice to live on a street
113
00:04:25,350 --> 00:04:27,850
where a car isn't
on fire every night.
114
00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:29,850
What-what's
the rent?
115
00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:33,360
Um, 50 bucks less than
what you're paying now.
116
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:36,860
Whew! That, plus what
I'd save on rat poison
117
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,860
and gopher bait,
118
00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:41,360
could add up to some
serious dough.
119
00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:49,370
So, how do you
want to celebrate
120
00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:51,370
our first night
living alone?
121
00:04:51,370 --> 00:04:53,380
I don't know.
Let's do something
that we couldn't do
122
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:54,880
when Brian and Casey
lived here.
123
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:56,380
Okay.
124
00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:57,880
I know, let's get
in the hot tub.
125
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,880
What's so special
about that?
126
00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,380
We did that all the time
when they were here.
127
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:02,890
Not in the nude.
128
00:05:02,890 --> 00:05:06,390
Naked in the hot tub.
129
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:08,390
I can get my behind
behind that.
130
00:05:08,390 --> 00:05:09,890
Where are you going?
131
00:05:09,890 --> 00:05:11,390
Upstairs to take off my clothes.
132
00:05:11,890 --> 00:05:12,900
Why go upstairs?
133
00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:15,900
There are no designated
non-naked areas anymore.
134
00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:17,900
You're right.
135
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:21,400
From now on,
it's all nude all the time.
136
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,410
You know, Brian,
I have to admit
137
00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:30,910
getting Antonio
to move in
138
00:05:30,910 --> 00:05:31,910
was a stroke
of genius.
139
00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:33,920
He's the perfect
roommate.
140
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,920
I mean, he's quiet, clean,
considerate.
141
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,420
And never, ever here. Huh?
142
00:05:38,420 --> 00:05:39,420
You know, I was thinking,
143
00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:41,420
we could turn his room
into a home gym.
144
00:05:41,420 --> 00:05:42,430
No, no, no.
145
00:05:42,430 --> 00:05:44,430
I've got big plans
for that room.
146
00:05:44,430 --> 00:05:46,930
Plans? What plans?
147
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,930
That room's going to be my...
148
00:05:48,930 --> 00:05:51,430
recording studio.
149
00:05:51,930 --> 00:05:53,440
What are you going to record?
150
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,940
Sounds I make.
151
00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:01,940
CASEY:
Antonio?
152
00:06:01,940 --> 00:06:03,450
What are you
doing here?
153
00:06:03,950 --> 00:06:04,950
What do you mean?
154
00:06:04,950 --> 00:06:06,450
I live here.
155
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,450
Oh... no, you don't.
156
00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:09,950
You pay rent here.
157
00:06:09,950 --> 00:06:11,450
You live at Elise's.
158
00:06:11,450 --> 00:06:12,960
Not anymore.
159
00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:16,960
She dumped me.
160
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,960
Oh, Antonio,
that's terrible.
161
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,960
Now where are you
going to live?
162
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,980
Hey, Joe, you want bacon
with your eggs?
163
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:41,990
Helen, what is with that apron?
164
00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:44,490
I thought we agreed nude--
nude, totally nude.
165
00:06:44,490 --> 00:06:45,490
Hey.
166
00:06:45,490 --> 00:06:48,990
Hey, I am not making
bacon naked.
167
00:06:48,990 --> 00:06:51,490
All right, but the second
you're done cooking,
168
00:06:51,490 --> 00:06:52,500
that apron comes off.
169
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:54,500
You don't have to twist my arm.
170
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:55,500
I don't think I was
really living
171
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:57,500
till I was living nude.
172
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,000
Well, think about it.
173
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,500
If it wasn't
for Brian and Casey,
174
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:03,510
we'd still be trapped in
our clothes, living the lie.
175
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:06,010
You know, we should
really look into one
176
00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:08,010
of those colonies
for our next vacation.
177
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,010
They're all over the place.
178
00:07:10,010 --> 00:07:12,010
Oh, okay, where would
you like to go?
179
00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:15,520
I wouldn't mind
being nude in Europe.
180
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:16,520
Wait a minute, Joe,
181
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,020
I don't mean to be
a flag waver, but...
182
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:20,020
see America nude first.
183
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:21,020
(doorbell chimes)
184
00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:22,020
I'll get it.
185
00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:23,030
Oh.
186
00:07:29,530 --> 00:07:32,040
Hey. Hey, guys, what
can I do for you?
187
00:07:32,030 --> 00:07:33,540
Hey, we live
in the neighborhood.
188
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,540
I'm Spencer.
This is Judd.
189
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,040
Uh, Joe,
maybe the boys
190
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,540
could come back later.
191
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:41,040
Yeah, guys, it's really not
a good time right now.
192
00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,040
Yes, it is.
193
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,550
(chuckling)
194
00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:47,550
See, we've got something
you might be interested in.
195
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,050
We were working on our
astronomy project for school
196
00:07:49,550 --> 00:07:51,050
and we were taking
some pictures of the sky
197
00:07:51,050 --> 00:07:55,560
and, well, did you know we saw
a full moon last night?
198
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,060
Yeah.
199
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,060
Two of them.
200
00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:00,560
(snickering)
201
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:02,570
Oh, my God.
202
00:08:02,570 --> 00:08:05,070
It's pictures of us
taking our hot tub nude.
203
00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:06,570
And us barbecuing nude.
204
00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:09,070
And me cleaning
the rain gutters nude.
205
00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:10,570
I don't remember that.
206
00:08:10,570 --> 00:08:13,580
You were in the kitchen
cleaning the oven nude.
207
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:16,080
Okay, boys, we are
going to tear these up
208
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,080
and we're going to
call your parents.
209
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:21,580
Okay, but I've scanned those
pictures onto my computer.
210
00:08:21,580 --> 00:08:22,590
One push of a button
211
00:08:22,590 --> 00:08:26,090
and you'll be cruising
buck-naked down the Internet.
212
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,090
(snickering)
213
00:08:29,090 --> 00:08:30,090
Unless...
214
00:08:30,090 --> 00:08:31,590
(snickering)
215
00:08:31,590 --> 00:08:32,600
Unless...
216
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:33,600
(imitating snickering)
217
00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:35,600
What?
218
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,100
We want to invite
our friends over
219
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:41,100
and use your house
for a party.
220
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:43,110
A make-out party.
221
00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:44,110
Uh-huh. Well, I'll
tell you what.
222
00:08:44,110 --> 00:08:47,110
If you think we are going
to be blackmailed
223
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,610
by a couple
of snot-nose
224
00:08:48,610 --> 00:08:50,610
little Peeping Toms,
you're crazy.
225
00:08:50,610 --> 00:08:52,120
That's right.
You're messing with adults here,
226
00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:54,620
adults that are
a lot smarter than you.
227
00:08:54,620 --> 00:08:57,120
Hey, there's someone looking
in your window.
228
00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:00,620
(snickering)
229
00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:01,620
Thank you.
230
00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:13,640
"Don't worry, Casey.
231
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,640
"He spends all of
his time with Elise.
232
00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:17,640
He'll never even be there."
233
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,140
You know what
really helps
234
00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:22,140
in a situation like
this, Casey? Sarcasm.
235
00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:24,150
Whoa-ho-ho.
236
00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:25,150
Oh, guys.
237
00:09:25,150 --> 00:09:28,650
Don't take this
the wrong way, but...
238
00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:31,650
you got a nasty
stink on you.
239
00:09:31,650 --> 00:09:32,660
Oh, great.
240
00:09:32,660 --> 00:09:34,160
Now it's on our clothes.
241
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,660
Roy, if you must know,
it's garlic.
242
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:37,660
Oh...!
243
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:40,160
Antonio likes to cook
when he's depressed.
244
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,660
You know,
it's not so much
245
00:09:41,660 --> 00:09:43,170
the cooking
that bothers me.
246
00:09:43,170 --> 00:09:45,670
It's not even that
he lays around all day
247
00:09:45,670 --> 00:09:47,170
in those ratty pajamas
248
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,670
moaning and wailing
and sobbing...
249
00:09:49,170 --> 00:09:51,670
And rocking and whimpering
and blubbering.
250
00:09:51,670 --> 00:09:54,680
It's not even the
thumb sucking or...
251
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:55,680
the drooling
252
00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:57,680
or the self-mutilation.
253
00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:01,180
It's the singing.
254
00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:05,690
Oh, that same stupid song,
over and over again.
255
00:10:05,690 --> 00:10:07,190
Their song.
256
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,690
"Cherish."
257
00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:13,200
Oh, I like that song.
258
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,700
Cherish is the word
259
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:18,200
I use to describe...
260
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,700
All the feelings
that I have
261
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:22,210
Hiding here for you
262
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,210
Inside.
263
00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:25,210
Hey.
264
00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:26,210
That sounded good.
265
00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:29,210
Yeah, we should sing a duet
down at the V.A. hall
266
00:10:29,210 --> 00:10:30,210
on karaoke night.
267
00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:31,710
That's a great idea.
268
00:10:31,710 --> 00:10:32,720
Yeah.
269
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,720
Just what those
veterans need...
270
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,720
more pain in their lives.
271
00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,720
BRIAN:
Ahh!
272
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:41,720
Well, look who's here.
273
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,230
You got out of
your jammies, buddy.
274
00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:45,230
Well...
275
00:10:45,230 --> 00:10:46,230
you know, you...
276
00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:47,730
you got to make
an effort.
277
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,230
(sobbing)
278
00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:50,730
Oh, well, good for you.
279
00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:53,240
Glad to see you're
back on your feet.
280
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,240
Okay. Okay.
281
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,740
That's enough self-pity.
282
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,240
(snorting)
283
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,740
I'm going to
make it up to you.
284
00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:03,250
I'm cooking dinner.
285
00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:05,250
Um, actually,
Antonio, I can't
286
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:07,250
because I've got
a date tonight.
287
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,250
Uh...
288
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,750
Really? I got
a date, too.
289
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:10,750
Huh.
290
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:11,750
Oh. I see.
291
00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:13,260
You both have dates.
292
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,260
Okay, so we're
five for dinner.
293
00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,760
Uh, look, Antonio.
294
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,760
Could I just explain
this to you?
295
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:24,270
I haven't had a date
in a really long time--
296
00:11:24,270 --> 00:11:25,770
in a really...
297
00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:28,270
really long time.
298
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:31,270
So... tonight...
299
00:11:31,270 --> 00:11:34,780
please, I beg you,
stay quietly in your room.
300
00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:36,780
Even if you hear me scream...
301
00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:41,780
...don't come out.
302
00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:49,290
You have got such
a cute place, Brian.
303
00:11:49,290 --> 00:11:51,790
Ahh, it's a lot cuter
since you got here.
304
00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:53,800
If you didn't have
such a great smile,
305
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,300
that would be
really cornball.
306
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:56,800
You know, Rhonda,
if everything goes well,
307
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,300
we'll have a great story
to tell our grandkids.
308
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:01,300
"When I first laid eyes
on your grandma,
309
00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:03,310
"she was trying
to stuff a coffee cake
310
00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:05,310
into her purse
without paying for it."
311
00:12:05,310 --> 00:12:06,810
Will you stop?
312
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:08,810
I just bent down
to pick up my keys.
313
00:12:08,810 --> 00:12:10,310
I was going
to pay for it.
314
00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:11,810
Sure. Sure.
(doorbell chimes)
315
00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:14,820
(shrieking):
That's for me!
316
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:17,320
(clearing throat)
317
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,820
Hi, Tom. I thought
I heard the bell.
318
00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:20,820
Won't you come in?
319
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:22,830
Thank you, Casey.
320
00:12:22,830 --> 00:12:25,330
Um, this is my
roommate Brian
321
00:12:25,330 --> 00:12:26,330
and his date Rhonda.
322
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:27,830
Hi, how are you?
Hey.
323
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:28,830
Nice to meet you.
Hi.
324
00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:30,830
I brought a little
housewarming gift.
325
00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:32,340
Oh, that's so sweet.
326
00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:34,840
Would you guys like
to join us for a drink?
327
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:35,840
Uh, sure.
328
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:36,840
Okay. Brian,
329
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,340
would you please
do the honors?
330
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,840
I got to go finish
getting ready.
331
00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:42,850
I don't think you could
look any prettier.
332
00:12:42,850 --> 00:12:44,350
Hold that thought.
333
00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:46,350
I'll be right back.
334
00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:48,850
Uh, well, uh, I'll go
crack this baby open.
335
00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:52,360
Rhonda, why don't you tell Tom
the story of how we met, huh?
336
00:12:52,350 --> 00:12:53,860
It's really pretty funny.
337
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,860
I've never done this before
338
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:58,360
but I was about to steal
this coffee cake
339
00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,860
and I was bending over...
340
00:12:59,860 --> 00:13:01,360
Sorry, I...
341
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:03,870
I didn't think there
was anyone still here.
342
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:04,870
Hi, there.
343
00:13:04,870 --> 00:13:06,870
You must be Casey's
other roommate.
344
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,870
No, no, no, no,
I don't exist.
345
00:13:08,870 --> 00:13:09,870
I'm not here.
346
00:13:09,870 --> 00:13:11,870
Just came to get
the TV Guide.
347
00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:14,380
There's a good movie
on tonight--
348
00:13:14,380 --> 00:13:16,880
Shattered, Fatal,
Broken Promises.
349
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,380
Oh, here it is.
350
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,880
Hey, I've got
to get this one.
351
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,890
Look. "Classic shows
we all cherish."
352
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,890
(voice breaking):
Cherish.
353
00:13:29,890 --> 00:13:31,390
Something wrong?
354
00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:33,900
(falsetto):
No.
355
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:34,900
No.
356
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:35,900
Are you sure?
357
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:38,400
Would you like
to talk about it?
358
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,400
Can't.
359
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,900
Well, it's okay.
360
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:43,410
You don't really
have to talk about it.
361
00:13:43,410 --> 00:13:44,410
My girlfriend
dumped me!
362
00:13:44,410 --> 00:13:45,410
(sobbing)
363
00:13:45,410 --> 00:13:48,910
Oh, no. You poor man.
364
00:13:48,910 --> 00:13:50,910
Hey...
365
00:13:50,910 --> 00:13:52,920
Hey, we've all
been there.
366
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,420
In fact, it just happened
to me three months ago,
367
00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:56,920
right... out of the blue.
368
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,420
You have to give
yourself time.
369
00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:01,420
Yeah, I'm still not
over my old girlfriend.
370
00:14:01,420 --> 00:14:03,930
We went out for six years.
371
00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:05,930
I try dating other women,
372
00:14:05,930 --> 00:14:09,430
but it-it's
just pointless.
373
00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:10,930
Oh, what's the use?
374
00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:11,930
I'm not ready.
375
00:14:11,930 --> 00:14:13,940
I'm just not ready.
376
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,940
Okay, Tom, I'm ready.
377
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,940
I can't.
378
00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:21,440
It's just...
379
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:22,440
too soon.
380
00:14:24,450 --> 00:14:25,950
I'm-I'm sorry, Casey.
381
00:14:25,950 --> 00:14:26,950
Wait, where are you going?
382
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,950
What about our date?
383
00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:30,950
(growling):
What did you say to him?!
384
00:14:32,450 --> 00:14:34,460
Okay, here we go, everybo...
385
00:14:35,460 --> 00:14:36,460
Antonio.
386
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,960
What the hell are you doing out?
387
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,460
Don't talk to him that way.
388
00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:43,470
Can't you see, he's hurting.
389
00:14:43,470 --> 00:14:45,970
It's okay.
I'm used to it.
390
00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:48,470
But you're supposed
to stay in your room.
391
00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:50,970
How did you move
that bookcase?
392
00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:52,480
I don't believe this.
393
00:14:52,470 --> 00:14:54,480
You barricaded him
in his room?
394
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:56,480
Yeah, well,
I've got just cause.
395
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,980
He stinks up the joint,
he whines all the time
396
00:14:58,980 --> 00:15:00,980
and he's a huge pain in the ass.
397
00:15:00,980 --> 00:15:02,490
Come on, Rhonda,
let's get out of here, okay?
398
00:15:02,990 --> 00:15:05,490
I'm not going
anywhere with you,
399
00:15:05,490 --> 00:15:07,490
you insensitive creep.
400
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,490
Are you going to be okay?
401
00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:11,490
Call me in a day or two.
402
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,500
Wait. Wait, Rhonda.
403
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,000
Rhonda, please.
404
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,500
Uhh... Rhonda,
Rhonda, wait.
405
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:19,500
What just happened here?
406
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:21,000
I'll tell you
what happened.
407
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,510
I said, "Get a dead bolt."
408
00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:24,510
You said, "He'll never be able
to get past that bookcase."
409
00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:27,010
That's what happened.
410
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,010
Hey. Hey,
listen, uh...
411
00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:30,510
I'm sorry about your evening.
412
00:15:30,510 --> 00:15:31,510
Yeah, right. Okay.
413
00:15:31,510 --> 00:15:33,520
Come on, Casey,
let's go.
414
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:35,020
No, listen.
Listen, um...
415
00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:38,520
if you feel that
I'm to blame for this,
416
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,020
maybe I should be the one to go.
417
00:15:43,030 --> 00:15:47,530
No, really.
418
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:52,530
Maybe I should just
pack up my things and move.
419
00:15:55,540 --> 00:15:57,540
Seriously.
420
00:15:57,540 --> 00:16:00,540
Maybe I should just
clear out of here
421
00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:02,540
and look for someplace else
to live.
422
00:16:06,050 --> 00:16:08,550
Fine, you've said enough.
I'm out of here.
423
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,060
Roy, have you
seen Antonio?
424
00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:21,560
He took off
last night
425
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,570
and we haven't
heard from him since.
426
00:16:23,570 --> 00:16:25,070
Last night, huh?
427
00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:29,070
Do you know there was some
pounding on my door.
428
00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:31,570
And some crying,
and some moaning,
429
00:16:31,570 --> 00:16:36,080
and I heard a voice begging,
"Please, please, let me in.
430
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:37,580
"I'm desperate.
431
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,580
I have no where to go."
432
00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:41,580
Hmm. I figured it was the wind.
433
00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:43,590
I went back to sleep.
434
00:16:45,090 --> 00:16:46,090
Hi, Brian.
435
00:16:46,090 --> 00:16:47,090
Hi, Casey.
436
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:49,090
Antonio!
437
00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:50,590
We are so sorry.
438
00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:51,590
Ah, please.
439
00:16:51,590 --> 00:16:53,100
I should be thanking you.
440
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,600
Thanking us?
441
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,100
After I left last night,
I drove around for awhile
442
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,100
and I ended up at
an all-night diner
443
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:00,600
and who should I run into?
444
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:01,600
Elise.
445
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,610
We talked for hours,
446
00:17:03,610 --> 00:17:04,610
then we went back
to her place.
447
00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:07,610
If you two hadn't
been so mean to me
448
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,110
and kicked me out,
449
00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:12,620
Elise and I never would
have gotten back together.
450
00:17:12,610 --> 00:17:13,620
So, thank you.
451
00:17:13,620 --> 00:17:15,120
Listen, you don't
have to thank us.
452
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:18,120
We only want
what's best for you.
453
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,620
Oh, yeah--
just one more thing.
454
00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:23,630
Elise and I have decided
to move in together
455
00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:26,130
so you'll have to find
another roommate.
456
00:17:26,130 --> 00:17:29,130
Oh, and by the way--
the microwave? Keep it.
457
00:17:29,130 --> 00:17:32,640
Cherish is the word
I use to describe...
458
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,140
Bye-bye.
459
00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:40,140
Bye-bye.
460
00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:41,640
I give up.
461
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,150
We've been interviewing
people for what--
462
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,150
three days?
463
00:17:45,150 --> 00:17:47,650
We are never going to
find a roommate in time.
464
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,150
Face it.
This is hopeless.
465
00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:50,150
(Brian groaning, doorbell rings)
466
00:17:50,650 --> 00:17:52,150
Ahh! Break over.
467
00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:53,160
Let the sideshow continue.
468
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,160
Casey, who's next?
469
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:58,660
(imitating Robin Leach):
Is it Gorgo, the dog-faced boy?
470
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:02,160
(sighing)
471
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,170
Hi. I'm here about the room.
472
00:18:04,670 --> 00:18:06,170
Hi. Well, come on in.
473
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:07,670
I'm Casey.
474
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:08,670
This is Brian.
475
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:09,670
Matthew Evans.
476
00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:11,170
Wow. This place is great.
477
00:18:11,170 --> 00:18:12,680
BRIAN:
Thanks, uh, listen.
478
00:18:12,670 --> 00:18:14,180
Just a few questions.
479
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,680
Are you currently employed,
can you give us references
480
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,180
and do you have
a steady girlfriend
481
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,680
where you can
spend all your time?
482
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,180
(chuckling):
Well, okay.
483
00:18:21,180 --> 00:18:22,690
Uh, I have a steady job,
484
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,190
I can send you references,
and right now
485
00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:26,190
I'm between girlfriends.
486
00:18:26,190 --> 00:18:27,690
When can you
move in?
487
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:29,190
Uh, as soon as possible.
488
00:18:29,190 --> 00:18:31,190
I'm staying
at this awful motel
489
00:18:31,690 --> 00:18:34,200
down at the wharf--
the Just Washed Inn.
490
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,700
Oh, no. That place
is horrible.
491
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:37,200
Oh, please.
492
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,700
That's why I'm willing
to pay whatever you want
493
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,700
to get out of that place.
494
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:42,200
When can you move in?
495
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,210
(doorbell rings)
496
00:18:43,210 --> 00:18:44,710
Uh, excuse me.
497
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,210
Uh!
498
00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:51,210
Hi, Brian, I just came
to pick up a few things.
499
00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:52,720
Oh, sorry. I didn't
know you had company.
500
00:18:52,710 --> 00:18:53,720
No, that's fine,
that's fine, that's fine.
501
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:54,720
Antonio,
502
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:56,220
this is Matt Evans.
503
00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:57,720
He's here about
renting the room.
504
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,220
Oh. Oh, well,
it's a great room.
505
00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:01,220
I'm sure you'll love it.
506
00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:02,220
Excuse me.
507
00:19:02,220 --> 00:19:03,730
So, Matt, how
about a tour, huh?
508
00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:06,230
You know,
I think I know that guy.
509
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:08,230
Yeah, he's staying
at the Just Washed Inn.
510
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,730
Who, Antonio? No, no, no.
511
00:19:09,730 --> 00:19:11,730
He lives with his girlfriend.
512
00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:12,730
I-I'm sure of it.
513
00:19:12,730 --> 00:19:14,740
He's across the hall from me.
514
00:19:14,740 --> 00:19:19,240
Yeah. All night long,
I hear this wailing and weeping.
515
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:22,750
And, oh, the cooking smells--
my God.
516
00:19:22,740 --> 00:19:25,750
Sometimes my eyes
literally water.
517
00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:27,250
Brian, do you know
what this means?
518
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,750
Antonio made that
whole story up.
519
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:29,750
He's not back
with Elise.
520
00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:31,250
No, no. No, no, no, no.
He didn't make anything up.
521
00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:33,260
He's living with Elise.
522
00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:34,760
They're happy. They're solid.
523
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:36,260
Those two kids
are going to make it.
524
00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:38,760
He's obviously confusing him
with someone else.
525
00:19:39,260 --> 00:19:41,760
And this stupid song
he keeps singing
526
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,270
over and over again...
527
00:19:43,270 --> 00:19:44,770
"Cherish."
528
00:19:45,270 --> 00:19:47,770
Hey, Matt, why don't you
take a look at the bedroom.
529
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:50,270
Yeah, sure.
Right around there.
530
00:19:50,270 --> 00:19:52,780
By the way, I've
got season tickets
to the Celtics,
531
00:19:52,770 --> 00:19:54,780
so anytime you guys want
to go, let me know.
532
00:19:54,780 --> 00:19:56,780
(inhaling deeply)
533
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,780
Oh, I like him, Casey.
534
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:00,780
I like him so much.
535
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,290
Yeah, well, so do I,
but we can't let Antonio
536
00:20:03,790 --> 00:20:05,290
go back to the Just Washed Inn.
537
00:20:05,290 --> 00:20:08,290
I guess that's everything,
so I got to be going.
538
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,790
See you.
539
00:20:09,790 --> 00:20:11,790
No, Antonio, um, look, um,
540
00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:14,800
we were wondering
if you could maybe
541
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,800
move back and live here
with us again.
542
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,800
What?
543
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,300
Uh, no, I'm sorry.
544
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:23,810
Elise and I are
doing very well.
545
00:20:23,810 --> 00:20:24,810
Thank you.
546
00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:26,810
Well, that's that, then.
So long.
547
00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:28,310
No, uh, please, Antonio.
548
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,810
I mean, um...
549
00:20:30,810 --> 00:20:32,810
I know that we don't deserve it,
550
00:20:32,810 --> 00:20:35,820
but you'd be doing us
a huge favor.
551
00:20:35,820 --> 00:20:39,820
We just can't find anyone
suitable to live with us.
552
00:20:39,820 --> 00:20:43,330
Do you guys mind if I paid
you six months rent in advance?
553
00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:45,330
(whimpering)
554
00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:49,330
Um, Matt... Matt, um,
I really don't think
555
00:20:49,830 --> 00:20:51,330
this is going
to work out after all.
556
00:20:51,330 --> 00:20:53,840
But, what? I thought that...
557
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:54,840
Please.
558
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,340
Just go.
559
00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:58,840
Could I possibly
change your mind
560
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,340
if I paid you an extra
100 bucks a month?
561
00:21:01,340 --> 00:21:02,340
Oh...
562
00:21:02,340 --> 00:21:03,350
(whimpering)
563
00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:05,350
I'm sorry, Matt.
564
00:21:10,850 --> 00:21:12,850
I see what you mean.
565
00:21:12,850 --> 00:21:15,360
Lot of losers out there.
566
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,360
(sobbing)
567
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:18,860
Hey, hey, it's okay, bro.
568
00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:22,360
Of course I'll stay.
Of course.
569
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:24,370
You know, I...
570
00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:26,370
tell you the truth,
571
00:21:26,370 --> 00:21:28,870
I think I can
do better than Elise.
572
00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:30,370
I've said it before,
and I'll say it again,
573
00:21:30,370 --> 00:21:31,870
women come and go,
574
00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:35,380
but friends are the things
we must always cherish.
575
00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:39,880
Cherish is the word
I use to describe...
576
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:41,380
Come on, Casey.
577
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,390
All the feelings
that I have
578
00:21:43,390 --> 00:21:46,390
Hiding here
for you inside
579
00:21:46,390 --> 00:21:50,390
ALL:
I don't know how many times
I wish that I could hold you...
580
00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:58,400
Hey, look. There's a new
Nantucket website.
581
00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,400
Pull it up.
582
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,400
Let's see what we got.
583
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,410
Look. Oh, look at that.
584
00:22:05,410 --> 00:22:07,910
There... There
are nude people on here.
585
00:22:09,910 --> 00:22:12,910
Oh, my God. It's...
586
00:22:12,910 --> 00:22:15,420
(gasps)
587
00:22:15,420 --> 00:22:19,920
Well, them sure are
some clean rain gutters.
39779
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