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1
00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:09,090
Deck the halls
with boughs of holly
2
00:00:09,090 --> 00:00:11,600
Fa-la-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la...
3
00:00:11,590 --> 00:00:12,600
Roy...
4
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:14,100
since when do you have
5
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:15,100
so much Christmas spirit?
6
00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:18,600
Since Susan Connor's husband
dropped dead two weeks ago.
7
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:19,600
I took his place
8
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,100
in the caroling group.
9
00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:22,610
By midnight, this
little drummer boy
10
00:00:22,610 --> 00:00:25,610
will be
parum-pum-pum-pumming.
11
00:00:25,610 --> 00:00:27,610
Hitting on a recent widow?
12
00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:29,110
What about mourning?
13
00:00:29,110 --> 00:00:30,110
Stay over?
14
00:00:30,110 --> 00:00:32,120
Ah, nah, wouldn't be right.
15
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:33,620
She just planted her husband.
16
00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:36,620
So, what are your
Christmas Eve plans, Scarpacci?
17
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:39,120
The usual, huh? A little
beefaroni on a hot plate
18
00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:41,630
and then cry yourself to sleep
in front of the space heater?
19
00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:43,630
That's all right
when you're single,
20
00:00:43,630 --> 00:00:46,630
but this year,
I've got a girlfriend.
21
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:49,130
You mean that thing with Elise
is still happening?
22
00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:51,130
Oh, I can't believe it.
23
00:00:51,130 --> 00:00:52,140
I can't believe, either.
24
00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:53,140
Imagine, a woman like that
25
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,140
still going out
with a guy like me.
26
00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:57,140
It doesn't make sense.
It doesn't make sense.
27
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,140
And yet it's happening.
28
00:00:58,140 --> 00:01:01,140
In fact, I just dropped off
my last fare.
29
00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:04,150
Now I'm going to go home,
take a little shave,
30
00:01:04,150 --> 00:01:06,650
wash my hair,
take another shave,
31
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:07,650
pack an overnight bag,
32
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,150
throw in a couple of razors,
33
00:01:09,150 --> 00:01:11,150
and I'm off to see Elise.
34
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,660
Oh, Sister Mary, you left
your rosary on the plane.
35
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,160
Oh, thank you.
36
00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:20,660
Oh, by the way, do you know
where I can get a cab?
37
00:01:20,660 --> 00:01:21,660
Uh, yeah.
38
00:01:21,660 --> 00:01:23,170
Um, that man
right over there.
39
00:01:24,670 --> 00:01:27,170
Excuse me,
I need a cab.
40
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:29,670
Oh, look, I'd love to
help you out, but, uh,
41
00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:30,670
I'm off duty.
42
00:01:30,670 --> 00:01:32,180
Oh, isn't there any way
43
00:01:32,180 --> 00:01:33,680
you could make
an exception?
44
00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,180
Somebody's
waiting for me.
45
00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:36,180
It's really important.
46
00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:39,180
Oh, guess I'm not the only
one with a hot date.
47
00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:41,180
Okay, doll face,
let's go.
48
00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:50,690
Hey, Casey.
Hi.
49
00:01:50,690 --> 00:01:52,200
How's it going at the
department store?
50
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,700
Boy, am I glad to have a job
for the holidays.
51
00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:57,700
Working is really doing wonders
for my self-esteem.
52
00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,700
I must say, I'm proud of myself.
53
00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:00,700
You should be.
54
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:02,210
Do you have any idea
how many high school kids
55
00:02:02,210 --> 00:02:04,710
you beat out
for that elf job?
56
00:02:04,710 --> 00:02:07,210
Oh, by the way,
this came for you.
57
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,210
Oh, great! I was
getting worried.
58
00:02:09,210 --> 00:02:10,210
It's Joe's Christmas present.
59
00:02:10,210 --> 00:02:13,220
Mail order? I thought
you loved holiday shopping.
60
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:15,220
Oh, I do, but the last
few Christmases
61
00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:16,220
have been so depressing.
62
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:18,720
I've just given up
on the whole holiday.
63
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,720
I told Joe I don't want
to decorate the house;
64
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,230
I don't even want
to get a tree.
65
00:02:22,230 --> 00:02:23,730
We're just gonna stay home,
66
00:02:23,730 --> 00:02:25,730
watch TV, and go to bed early.
67
00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:27,730
So, what'd you get him?
68
00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:29,230
Something he's been
hinting at for months.
69
00:02:29,230 --> 00:02:31,740
I can't wait to
see him in it.
70
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:35,740
Boy, you are one
understanding wife.
71
00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:37,240
No, they made a mistake.
72
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,740
I ordered him a beautiful
leather flight jacket.
73
00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:42,750
Shoot. What am I
going to do now?
74
00:02:42,750 --> 00:02:45,250
It's too late
to get him anything else.
75
00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:47,750
We've got some beautiful flight
jackets down at the store.
76
00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:50,250
Plus, I get a 25%
employee discount.
77
00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:51,760
You know, why don't I
just put one aside
78
00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:53,760
for you in the storeroom,
then you can come down
79
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:55,260
right before they close
and pick it up.
80
00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:56,260
Perfect, perfect.
81
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:57,760
Thank you, Casey.
82
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,260
So, what are you going
to do with this?
83
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:03,770
Well, I didn't get
Brian anything...
84
00:03:09,270 --> 00:03:12,780
Hey, I really appreciate
your taking one more fare.
85
00:03:12,780 --> 00:03:13,780
Ah, no problem.
86
00:03:13,780 --> 00:03:15,780
You said it was
important.
Mm.
87
00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:18,280
So, who's the lucky guy?
88
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,280
Actually, there isn't one.
89
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:21,790
I don't have a date.
90
00:03:21,780 --> 00:03:23,790
Oh, that's a shame.
91
00:03:23,790 --> 00:03:25,790
Good-looking chick
like you.
92
00:03:25,790 --> 00:03:26,790
Tell you what.
93
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:29,790
Why don't I drop
you off at Hickey's?
94
00:03:29,790 --> 00:03:32,800
It's... it's the hottest
singles bar on the island.
95
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,300
Huh, what do you say?
96
00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:35,300
Any interest?
97
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:37,300
Sorry. Nun.
98
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,300
Oh, come on.
99
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:42,810
You slap on a little lip gloss,
you're not going home alone.
100
00:03:42,810 --> 00:03:45,310
I'm a nun.
101
00:03:45,310 --> 00:03:46,810
Sister Mary McKenna.
102
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,810
Little Sisters of Hope.
103
00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:51,810
That's the one that's going
to take me down.
104
00:03:51,810 --> 00:03:56,820
Listen, uh, wherever you want
to go, uh, it's on the house.
105
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,820
I-I'm not charging you
for the ride.
106
00:03:58,820 --> 00:03:59,820
Works for me.
107
00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:02,830
This nun job isn't
the financial bonanza
108
00:04:02,830 --> 00:04:05,330
I thought it would be.
109
00:04:05,330 --> 00:04:08,330
Oh, okay, here we are.
110
00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:09,830
The west...
west end of town.
111
00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:13,840
Uh, what's the address
we're looking for?
112
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:15,840
I don't know.
113
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,340
You have it written down
somewhere?
114
00:04:18,340 --> 00:04:21,850
No. Actually,
I had a dream.
115
00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:24,350
Well, more of
a vision, really.
116
00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:27,350
Uh-huh.
117
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:30,350
I dreamt that there's
someone on this island
118
00:04:30,350 --> 00:04:32,360
that needs to be saved.
119
00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:34,860
That's why I've come.
120
00:04:34,860 --> 00:04:37,360
Uh, let me get
this straight.
121
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,860
Uh, what you're saying is
122
00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:41,360
that you came here
to save someone
123
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:45,870
but you have absolutely no idea
who they are,
124
00:04:45,870 --> 00:04:48,870
where they are,
or how to get there.
125
00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:49,870
Exactly!
126
00:04:50,370 --> 00:04:52,880
And I thought this was gonna
be hard to explain.
127
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,380
(sighs)
128
00:04:54,380 --> 00:04:56,880
Listen, I hope
you don't have any regrets
129
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:57,880
about taking me.
130
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,380
None.
131
00:05:04,390 --> 00:05:05,890
Hey, Brian,
we caught a break.
132
00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:07,390
I just got off the phone
with Helen.
133
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:08,390
She's gonna be late.
134
00:05:08,390 --> 00:05:09,390
So, we're gonna
have plenty of time
135
00:05:09,890 --> 00:05:11,390
to finish up everything
before she gets here.
136
00:05:11,890 --> 00:05:13,900
Oh, this is gonna be
the Christmas
137
00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:15,400
that she always wanted.
138
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:16,900
I cannot wait to see her face
when she comes in that door.
139
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,400
She's gonna be so surprised.
140
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:19,900
You know something?
141
00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:23,410
Spending Christmas Eve
as a family has...
142
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:24,910
has really put me
in the holiday spirit.
143
00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:26,410
Hey, I'm glad.
144
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:27,410
Hmm.
145
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:30,410
(phone rings)
146
00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:33,420
Hello? Yolanda?
147
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:36,920
Yeah, I'll be there, hour,
hour and a half, tops.
148
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,420
Well, I'm dying to see you, too,
149
00:05:38,420 --> 00:05:40,420
but I don't think
I can get out any sooner...
150
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:42,930
You'll do what?
151
00:05:45,430 --> 00:05:47,430
Okay, I can be there
20-25 minutes, tops.
152
00:05:48,930 --> 00:05:49,930
What's that?
153
00:05:49,930 --> 00:05:51,430
We're going to
trim the tree.
154
00:05:51,430 --> 00:05:53,440
No good!
155
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,440
Isn't that the type of thing
you want to do with Helen?
156
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,440
No, I want to do it
for Helen.
157
00:05:58,440 --> 00:05:59,940
That's the whole
point of the surprise.
158
00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:01,440
Why are we standing
around here?
159
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,450
Let's move, move, move!
Come on!
160
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:04,950
Where the hell's that tinsel?
161
00:06:08,950 --> 00:06:10,950
Hey, Brian!
162
00:06:10,950 --> 00:06:12,460
Remember Christmas Teddy?
163
00:06:12,460 --> 00:06:15,960
Oh, this was our favorite
ornament when we were kids.
164
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:17,460
Oh, God!
165
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:19,460
This thing must be 30 years old.
166
00:06:20,460 --> 00:06:21,970
(clattering)
167
00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:26,470
(gasping)
168
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:27,970
(voice quavering):
Christmas Teddy!
169
00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,470
(doorbell chimes)
170
00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:30,970
Christmas Teddy!
171
00:06:30,970 --> 00:06:32,480
Christma...
172
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,480
Christmas Teddy.
173
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:35,980
Christmas Teddy.
174
00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:38,980
No, Hanukkah Lou.
175
00:06:38,980 --> 00:06:40,980
Lou, what are you doing here?
176
00:06:40,980 --> 00:06:42,990
Nice to see you, too.
177
00:06:42,990 --> 00:06:44,490
Shouldn't you be at the home?
178
00:06:44,490 --> 00:06:46,490
Oh, Christmas Eve at the home.
179
00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:47,990
What a festive day.
180
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:50,990
We string lights
to everyone's wheelchair
181
00:06:50,990 --> 00:06:55,000
and the Korean kid
pushes us down the hall.
182
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,500
Look, Lou, I'd love
to invite you in, but...
183
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,500
I understand, I understand.
184
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,010
Well, gee, come on in, Lou.
185
00:07:03,010 --> 00:07:04,010
I didn't come empty-handed.
186
00:07:04,510 --> 00:07:06,010
You like fruitcake?
No.
187
00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:07,010
This is fruitcake.
188
00:07:10,010 --> 00:07:12,010
"Merry Christmas, Lou.
189
00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:14,020
From the Morning Pill Lady."
190
00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:18,020
Joe, you got more tins...
191
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,520
Ahh!
192
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:23,530
What the heck's Yoda doing here?
193
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:26,030
Lou's just here
for a short visit.
194
00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:27,030
Very short.
195
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,030
Sure, sure, sure.
Real short.
196
00:07:29,030 --> 00:07:31,030
Listen, are you going
to offer me something?
197
00:07:31,030 --> 00:07:33,540
(sighing):
Uh, offer you something?
Like what?
198
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,040
Well, it's the holidays.
199
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,540
I-I feel like something...
200
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,540
rich.
201
00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:42,050
You got any clear broth?
202
00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:52,560
Oh, I like this.
203
00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:55,060
Oh, I want this.
204
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:56,060
Oh...
205
00:07:56,060 --> 00:07:57,560
Oh, and I need
three of these.
206
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:58,560
Oh...
Three of these.
207
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:00,560
Oh, and I must have
this cat clock.
208
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,070
Fay, just 'cause
Casey gets a discount
209
00:08:03,070 --> 00:08:05,570
doesn't mean you have
to buy everything in sight.
(door opens)
210
00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:09,070
You know, after spending
the whole day
211
00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:11,570
surrounded by little children
visiting Santa,
212
00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:13,580
I just have to say one thing:
213
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:15,580
I'm having my tubes tied.
214
00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:17,080
Come on, guys, we're locking up.
215
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,080
No, no, no! Time!
I need more time!
216
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,580
You have everything
you need.
217
00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:22,090
Besides, it's kind
of creepy down here,
218
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,090
and they're closing
the store. Let's go.
219
00:08:24,090 --> 00:08:25,590
Let's go.
220
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:29,090
Oh, wait,
this is strange.
221
00:08:29,090 --> 00:08:30,590
Here, let me try.
222
00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:35,100
It's locked.
223
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:36,600
What?!
(knocking)
224
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:37,600
Hello?
225
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,600
Hello?!
226
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,600
Oh, no!
227
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:41,600
They must have
closed the store.
228
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,110
Everyone's gone home.
229
00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:44,110
Are we locked in?
230
00:08:44,110 --> 00:08:45,610
Well, you know,
only till the store
231
00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:48,110
opens again...
on Thursday!
232
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,120
We got to get
out of here.
233
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,120
We got to get out of here.
234
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,120
CAROLERS:
'Tis the season
to be jolly...
235
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,120
Listen.
236
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,630
Fa-la-la-la-la...
237
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:04,630
Carolers!
Oh!
238
00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:05,630
ALL THREE:
Hey! Hey!
239
00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:07,630
(Fay, Helen and Casey screaming)
240
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,630
Oh, my God,
it's Roy!
It's Roy!
241
00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:10,630
Roy!
242
00:09:11,130 --> 00:09:12,130
Roy!
243
00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:13,140
Roy!!
244
00:09:13,140 --> 00:09:14,640
I can't get his attention.
245
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,640
Here! Help me!
246
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,640
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
247
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,640
Strike the harp
and join the chorus...
248
00:09:21,140 --> 00:09:22,140
Roy!
249
00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:23,650
Roy! Roy!
250
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,150
Follow me in
merry measure...
251
00:09:25,150 --> 00:09:26,150
HELEN (screams):
Help!
252
00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:27,650
SUSAN:
Hey, whose hand
was that?
253
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:30,150
ROY:
Ow! Hey! I'm just
trying to comfort a widow.
254
00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:31,650
No!
HELEN: Roy!
255
00:09:32,150 --> 00:09:33,160
Ohh!
256
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,660
Don't leave us!
Roy!
257
00:09:34,660 --> 00:09:35,660
Roy!
258
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:37,660
Roy!
259
00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:39,660
Roy!
260
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:47,670
Brian.
261
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,670
Brian, Brian,
Brian, Brian!
262
00:09:49,670 --> 00:09:52,180
You're just throwing
that tinsel on without thinking.
263
00:09:52,170 --> 00:09:53,680
Hey, hello.
264
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,180
There's a human being
sitting out here.
265
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:58,180
Yeah, well, we could
debate that all night.
266
00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,180
What do you want, Lou?
267
00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:00,180
I just want you to know
268
00:10:00,180 --> 00:10:01,680
I'm finished with my Wheat Thin.
269
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:03,690
(doorbell chimes)
270
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:08,190
Who are you?
271
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,190
Nice greeting.
272
00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:12,200
You make a person
feel warm and toasty.
273
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,200
I came here
to pick up Lou.
274
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,700
I'm his brother.
275
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:20,200
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!
276
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,200
No, no, no, no.
You don't do that in here.
277
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,210
You go outside with that.
278
00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:26,710
Harry?
279
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:27,710
Lou?
280
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,710
I've nothing to say to you.
281
00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:33,720
Lou, we haven't seen
each other for 30 years.
282
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:34,720
It's time we talked.
283
00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,220
Okay, I'll go first.
284
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:38,220
You screwed me.
285
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:40,220
I didn't screw you.
286
00:10:40,220 --> 00:10:42,730
You screwed me blue.
287
00:10:42,730 --> 00:10:45,230
30 years, reunited.
288
00:10:45,230 --> 00:10:46,730
Isn't that
a beautiful thing?
289
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:48,230
Okay, here we go, double time,
out the door.
290
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:49,230
I'm not going
anywheres with him.
291
00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:52,740
Well, I'm not leaving here
until we've had this out.
292
00:10:52,740 --> 00:10:54,740
No, no, no, you-you
cannot do this in here.
293
00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:57,240
We are about to sit down
to a nice family dinner.
294
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,740
Hey, Joey,
the turkey's all...
295
00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:03,750
Oh, my God, they're multiplying.
296
00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:10,750
Okay.
297
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:12,760
Let's... recap.
298
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:19,260
Now... you say someone
on this island needs saving.
299
00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:20,760
Now, this person...
300
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:21,760
Or persons.
301
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:24,270
Right, right.
302
00:11:24,270 --> 00:11:26,270
They're on this island,
303
00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:29,270
but they're not
on the West End,
304
00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:31,270
they're not on
the East End,
305
00:11:31,270 --> 00:11:33,780
they're not on
the South End,
306
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,780
and unless
they're an otter,
307
00:11:35,780 --> 00:11:37,780
they're not on
the North End.
308
00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:40,280
Well, let's see.
309
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:43,790
In my dream,
there was a lighthouse...
310
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:44,790
Oh, yeah?
311
00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:46,790
And a harbor...
312
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:47,790
Yes?
313
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:52,800
And what appeared to be
a large, angry cantaloupe.
314
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,300
(sighs):
Okay.
315
00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:56,800
That's it, that's it.
316
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,300
Show's over.
317
00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,300
You know what?
318
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,810
I don't believe
you had a dream.
319
00:12:02,810 --> 00:12:06,310
I don't believe there's someone
you have to save.
320
00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:08,310
I don't even believe
you're a nun.
321
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:10,810
Antonio, I am a nun.
322
00:12:10,810 --> 00:12:13,320
Okay, then, pop quiz.
323
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,320
Number of days
Jesus spent in the desert?
324
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:16,820
Forty.
325
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:19,820
Okay, that was a gimme.
326
00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:22,330
Try this:
327
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,830
Who was the lying apostle?
Judas.
328
00:12:24,830 --> 00:12:25,830
The doubting apostle?
Thomas.
329
00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:28,330
The cute apostle?
Paul.
330
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:29,830
Listen--
331
00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:31,830
I could play
"Stump The Nun" all night,
332
00:12:31,830 --> 00:12:34,340
but, clearly, I'm taking
advantage of your good nature,
333
00:12:34,340 --> 00:12:36,340
so why don't I
just get out here?
334
00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:37,840
No, no, no, no.
335
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,840
No way am I going
to drop off a nun
336
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,840
alone on the docks
on a Christmas Eve.
337
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,850
You don't come back
from Karma like that.
338
00:12:44,850 --> 00:12:46,350
Ugh!
339
00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:48,350
I was supposed to be
at my girlfriend's
340
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:49,850
ten minutes ago.
341
00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:51,850
I-I got to find a phone.
342
00:12:51,850 --> 00:12:52,860
Here. Use mine.
343
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,360
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
344
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,360
A nun with a cellular phone?!
345
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:03,870
Beheaded by Salome...
346
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:04,870
John the Baptist.
347
00:13:04,870 --> 00:13:07,370
Call your
girlfriend, Antonio.
348
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:13,880
Ohh.
349
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,880
Oh, my stomach's
on fire.
350
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,880
What the hell
did you serve me?
351
00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:21,880
A low-sodium Saltine.
352
00:13:22,890 --> 00:13:24,890
Same old Harry.
353
00:13:24,890 --> 00:13:27,390
Still a pain
in the rump.
354
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,890
Why can't you be more like me?
355
00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:33,400
Brian, what are
we gonna do?
356
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:34,400
Helen is gonna be
here any minute.
357
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,900
We have got to
get them to leave.
358
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,400
All right, all right.
359
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,900
Um, I got an idea.
360
00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:41,900
Why don't I go?
361
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:43,410
And?
362
00:13:43,410 --> 00:13:47,410
And... maybe they'll
follow me out shortly...
363
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,410
thereafter.
364
00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:51,410
You know, I am starting
to get the feeling
365
00:13:51,410 --> 00:13:52,920
that you don't
want to be here.
366
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:54,420
Where's your
Christmas spirit, Brian?
367
00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:57,420
Now help me throw
these old goats out
in the street!
368
00:13:57,420 --> 00:14:00,920
So, what's the story
on these two?
369
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,430
What do you mean, what's
the story? They live here.
370
00:14:03,430 --> 00:14:04,930
They live here?
371
00:14:04,930 --> 00:14:05,930
What are they?
372
00:14:05,930 --> 00:14:08,430
A little funny?
373
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:09,930
No. If they were really funny,
374
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:12,940
we'd be eating like kings.
375
00:14:12,940 --> 00:14:14,940
JOE:
Listen, you guys,
376
00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:18,440
(sighs)
whatever happened
30 years ago,
377
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,940
let it go.
378
00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:21,440
It couldn't have been that bad.
379
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:24,450
You really want to know
what happened?
No.
380
00:14:24,450 --> 00:14:25,450
I'll tell you
what happened.
381
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,950
30 years ago, we opened up
a delicatessen--
382
00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:31,450
Lou and Harry's Delicatessen--
it was in New York.
383
00:14:31,450 --> 00:14:32,960
It was in New York.
384
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,960
Didn't I just say
it was in New York?
385
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,460
Would you just
tell me what happened?
386
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:39,960
30 years ago, we opened up
a delicatessen...
387
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:40,960
Lou and Harry's
Delicatessen.
388
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,970
Lou and Harry's
Delicatessen...
389
00:14:42,970 --> 00:14:44,470
Ay!
390
00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:52,480
HELEN:
You sure you're
all right, Fay?
391
00:14:52,470 --> 00:14:54,980
Well, I haven't
done this in a while,
392
00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:56,480
but it's like
riding a bike.
393
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,480
It all comes
back to you.
394
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,480
HELEN:
Oh, gosh. (grunts)
395
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,480
CASEY:
Yeah, well, I'm not all right.
396
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,990
I'm afraid of heights
and Fay won't stand still!
397
00:15:04,990 --> 00:15:07,990
Well, your little pointy elf
shoes are digging into my ear!
398
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:09,490
We're almost there.
399
00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:10,990
Just one more...
400
00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:11,990
(groans)
401
00:15:11,990 --> 00:15:13,500
Just... one... more.
402
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:14,500
(screams)
403
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:21,500
Okay, new plan.
404
00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:31,510
Whatever made me think
a beautiful woman like Elise
405
00:15:32,010 --> 00:15:36,020
would sit around
on a Christmas Eve
waiting for me?
406
00:15:36,020 --> 00:15:38,020
Antonio...
407
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:41,020
it sounds to me
like you need a little faith.
408
00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:43,030
Oh, I have faith--
I have faith
409
00:15:43,030 --> 00:15:45,530
that I'm going to spend
every Christmas of my life alone
410
00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:47,530
with a can of beefaroni.
411
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:50,530
First of all,
I'm concerned about your diet.
412
00:15:50,530 --> 00:15:54,040
And second of all,
I'm seeing a pattern here.
413
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,040
You don't believe I'm a nun.
414
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,540
You don't believe
in your girlfriend.
415
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:00,540
You don't believe
in much of anything.
416
00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:02,040
(snorts)
417
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,050
There's not much to
believe in, is there?
418
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:05,050
I mean, look at you--
419
00:16:05,050 --> 00:16:07,050
running around in
the middle of the night,
420
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:09,050
following
some wacko dream.
421
00:16:09,050 --> 00:16:10,050
Faith?
422
00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:11,550
I don't think so.
423
00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:13,560
Antonio...
424
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:14,560
pull over.
425
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:16,060
I'm here.
426
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:17,560
Really?
427
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,560
Are you sure?
428
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,560
Oh, yeah.
429
00:16:23,570 --> 00:16:25,070
Antonio...
430
00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:28,070
I've only known you
for six-and-a-half hours,
431
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,070
but in that short time,
432
00:16:30,070 --> 00:16:35,080
I've seen that you are
a kind and generous man.
433
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,080
If you don't believe
in anything else,
434
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,580
at least have faith in yourself.
435
00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:40,580
Uh-huh, uh-huh, okay.
436
00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:42,580
Don't forget
your phone, Sister.
437
00:16:42,580 --> 00:16:45,590
(ringing)
438
00:16:45,590 --> 00:16:48,090
Hello.
439
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:50,090
It's for you.
440
00:16:51,090 --> 00:16:52,600
Hello.
441
00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:54,600
Elise. Finally.
442
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,600
Merry Christmas, Antonio.
443
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:05,610
Okay...
444
00:17:05,610 --> 00:17:07,110
this time, it's
going to work.
445
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:08,110
Swing me, Casey.
446
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,120
(grunting)
447
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:17,120
All right,
do it again.
448
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,120
(grunting)
449
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:21,120
Fay, let go
of the rope!
450
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:24,130
Oh, you did it!
You did it! Wow!
451
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:25,130
HELEN: Okay, all
I have to do
452
00:17:25,130 --> 00:17:28,630
is just pull up
and open the window.
453
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:30,130
Okay...
454
00:17:30,130 --> 00:17:31,130
I'm pulling...
455
00:17:31,630 --> 00:17:33,640
I'm pulling...
456
00:17:35,140 --> 00:17:36,140
Nope. I'm wrong.
457
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,140
Okay, third
time's a charm.
458
00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:41,140
Fay, strap on
the helmet.
459
00:17:43,150 --> 00:17:44,150
(knocking)
460
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,650
CASEY: Look up there!
FAY: Oh, my gosh!
461
00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:48,650
HELEN: We're saved!
We're saved! We're saved!
462
00:17:51,650 --> 00:17:55,160
And that brings us
to the year 1964
463
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,160
in which we introduced
the pocket knish.
464
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,660
We did very well.
465
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,660
We did very well.
466
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,170
We did okay.
467
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:08,670
Please, I beg you--
468
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:12,170
get to the part
where something happens.
469
00:18:12,170 --> 00:18:14,680
What, I'm, I'm not
entertaining you?
470
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,680
Oh, no, it's...
it's fascinating.
471
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:21,180
Tell us again about the
great coleslaw scare of '62.
472
00:18:21,180 --> 00:18:24,690
You, I hate.
473
00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:27,690
Just... just tell me
474
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:30,690
why you two haven't
spoken in 30 years.
475
00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:32,190
All right.
476
00:18:32,190 --> 00:18:34,700
In 1965, he bought
he out for bupkes
477
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:36,700
and two months
later, he sold it.
478
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,700
So?
479
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,700
He sold it
for a fortune.
480
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:42,200
He knew he was
getting an offer,
481
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,710
and that's why
he bought me out.
482
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:45,710
For 30 years, I've been
telling you, I didn't know.
483
00:18:45,710 --> 00:18:47,710
You knew.
I didn't know.
484
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:48,710
You knew.
485
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,210
And don't think
because I'm talking to you now,
486
00:18:50,210 --> 00:18:52,720
that I'm talking to you now.
487
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,720
Lou, I'm trying
to make it right.
488
00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,220
Nothing you say
can make it right.
489
00:19:00,220 --> 00:19:02,730
Lou...
490
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,730
here's a check
for your half of the sale.
491
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,230
All right, then.
492
00:19:12,230 --> 00:19:13,740
Good. Good.
493
00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:14,740
Now that's settled.
494
00:19:14,740 --> 00:19:17,240
Now, if you don't
mind, we are gonna
495
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,740
try to have our
family Christmas.
496
00:19:19,740 --> 00:19:21,740
(phone ringing)
497
00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:22,740
Harry,
that's for me.
498
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:24,250
Hello.
499
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:26,250
BRIAN:
Harry...
Yolanda?
500
00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:28,250
Calling a guy for a date?
501
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:29,750
You must be a real beast.
502
00:19:30,250 --> 00:19:31,250
BRIAN:
No, no, no,
wait, wait.
503
00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:33,260
No, no, no! What are you doing?
Harry!
504
00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:34,760
Hello? Hel...?
505
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:36,260
So that's it? That's why
506
00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:37,260
you've been
rushing around all night?
507
00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:38,260
It's Christmas Eve.
508
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,260
You're going to bail
to meet some girl?
509
00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:41,760
Joey...
510
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,770
Yolanda is not
just some girl.
511
00:19:44,770 --> 00:19:45,770
She's French.
512
00:19:46,270 --> 00:19:47,270
She's a circus performer.
513
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:50,770
She can pull a quarter
out of her ear with her toes.
514
00:19:50,770 --> 00:19:52,770
We've been planning
this dinner for two weeks.
515
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:54,780
I didn't know she was
gonna show up in town.
516
00:19:54,780 --> 00:19:55,780
You knew.
I didn't know.
517
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,280
You knew!
I didn't know!
518
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:58,280
You knew.
I didn't know.
519
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:00,280
(doorbell chimes)
Don't you move.
520
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:05,790
(wheezing)
521
00:20:05,790 --> 00:20:07,290
(wheezing)
522
00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:08,790
Hey, Hackett.
523
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:10,290
Merry Christmas.
524
00:20:10,290 --> 00:20:11,790
What happened
to you?
525
00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:13,800
Oh, nothing, really.
526
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,300
It was just
a little incident
527
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,300
involving a pack
of wild carolers.
528
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,300
Do you think I could stay here
for a couple hours or days
529
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:21,300
until this thing
blows over?
530
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,310
No, no. There's no way, Roy.
531
00:20:23,310 --> 00:20:24,810
We're about to have
a family dinner.
Thank you, thank you.
532
00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:25,810
You're a lifesaver.
No, Roy...
533
00:20:25,810 --> 00:20:27,310
My fault?
534
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:28,810
How was this
my fault?
535
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,310
Because you
should have known
536
00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:32,310
what time the store
was going to close!
537
00:20:32,310 --> 00:20:35,320
Oh, yeah? Well, I am an elf,
not a night watchman!
538
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,320
Hey, Fay, what are
you doing here?
539
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:38,820
Ca-Casey,
where is Helen?
540
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:41,820
Hey, Hackett, you got
a turkey burning in here.
541
00:20:41,820 --> 00:20:43,330
Oh, great.
542
00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:45,330
Now what are we going
to do for food?
543
00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:49,330
Now what are we
going to do for food?
544
00:20:49,330 --> 00:20:50,830
All right.
545
00:20:50,830 --> 00:20:51,830
That's it.
546
00:20:51,830 --> 00:20:53,340
That is it!
547
00:20:53,340 --> 00:20:54,840
As far as I'm concerned,
548
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:56,340
you can all go!
549
00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,340
Or you can all stay.
550
00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:01,340
(stammering):
I-I really don't care.
551
00:21:01,340 --> 00:21:03,350
All I was trying to do
552
00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:05,350
was make a beautiful
Christmas for Helen.
553
00:21:05,350 --> 00:21:06,850
And now, thanks to all
of you, it's too late.
554
00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:08,850
So just forget it.
555
00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:10,350
Joe...
556
00:21:10,350 --> 00:21:12,350
the house...
557
00:21:12,350 --> 00:21:13,860
it's beautiful.
558
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,860
Did you do this?
559
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:19,360
Do you like it?
560
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:22,360
I love it.
561
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:24,870
Oh, and you didn't
forget anything.
562
00:21:24,870 --> 00:21:26,370
The tree...
563
00:21:26,370 --> 00:21:28,370
and the lights...
564
00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:31,870
and the two old guys
sitting on the couch.
565
00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:36,380
Well, uh, they were sort
of a last-minute touch.
566
00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:39,880
CAROLERS:
Merry Christmas to you,
wherever you are
567
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,380
Good tidings for Christmas
FAY: Oh, listen--
568
00:21:42,380 --> 00:21:43,890
And a happy New Year
carolers.
569
00:21:43,890 --> 00:21:45,390
We wish you
a merry Christmas
570
00:21:45,390 --> 00:21:47,390
We wish you a merry
Christmas
571
00:21:47,390 --> 00:21:49,390
We wish you
a merry Christmas...
572
00:21:49,390 --> 00:21:51,890
Aw, you know this is
the first time all night
573
00:21:51,890 --> 00:21:53,900
it's really felt like Christmas.
574
00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:55,900
CAROLER:
Hey, look!
There's Biggins' car!
575
00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:57,900
He must be
around here somewhere!
38761
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