Original subtitles

(intense ominous music)

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

(peaceful ethereal music)

(lively heavy rock music)

(lively heavy rock music continues)

(lively heavy rock music continues)

(controllers cheering and applauding)

(gentle orchestral music)

Satellite, this is Shuttle.

We are almost at your location.

We're, uh, getting closer to the docking area

and we plan to make dock in just a few minutes.

There seems to be something unusual happening

with the orbit of the satellite.

Look out! It's coming right for you.

Satellite, this is Shuttle. Is everything okay?

We're getting some strange readings.

Satellite, is that you?

Hello? Does anyone read us?

Hello? Anyone there?

(radio static crackles)

(radio rapidly changing stations)

(radio rapidly changing stations)

(meteoroid rumbling)

Not even a nibble today! (water splashes)

What the heck is spooking all the fish?

(ominous orchestral music)

(water splashes)

(fisherman sighs)

Guess they don't like the rock and roll!

Well, I'm not giving up that easily.

Got that tartar sauce and the breadcrumbs,

and the french fries.

I'm feasting on something tonight.

(meteoroid roaring)

What is that light?

It's coming right at me. Oh, man!

Oh, my God!

It's coming right at me!

(meteoroid roaring)

(meteorite thumps)

(ominous music)

(dramatic orchestral newscast music)

Reports coming in tonight that wreckage from the doomed

Gamron satellite did in fact crash near a populated area.

It appears, though, that the wreckage landed not on land,

but in water.

Yes, we acknowledge that our recently-launched satellite

had an unfortunate accident in space.

The satellite has crashed to earth,

but we can assure the public that no individuals

or property were harmed.

Some additional small pieces are falling to earth

that will burn out upon reentry, with no harm to the public.

Thank you.

We await confirmation,

but it seems that no one was hurt, at this time.

(groans) Enough with the dumb news!

Like, when are they gonna announce the concert?

News is always played at the top

and the bottom of every hour, you spaz.

I know, but don't they know the big news we wanna hear

is the announcement about Gelatin Skeleton touring Canada?

They had better announce an Ottawa date.

Of course they will. They're from here.

They won't miss a hometown show.

When do you think they'll come? Summer?

I hope so. Be better for the tailgate parties.

Oh, the news is over. Stop talking, spaz.

(sighs) You're the spaz.

Thanks, Buck, for the news.

And now right before we play their latest single,

we have a surprise announcement

about everyone's favorite local glam metal band,

Gelatin Skeleton!

(sighs) It's not that much of a surprise.

Everyone's expecting a tour announcement.

Shh!

Gelatin Skeleton will be touring Canada

next month with shows starting in Prince Edward Island

and ending in Vancouver.

Come on, Ottawa!

But for anyone expecting a date

right here in Ottawa, I have some surprising news.

Uh-oh.

Gelatin Skeleton will be holding

a special performance to kick off their tour

with a surprise show at the Brass Monkey in,

wait for it, in two days.

What? Two days?

That's right, tickets go on sale tomorrow

with all proceeds going to the local children's hospital,

but we, loyal listeners,

will be giving away two pairs of tickets for free.

We have to win those tickets!

Okay, hold on! Listen!

Winning tickets is easy

with the Gelatin Skeleton Scavenger Hunt Ticket Giveaway.

Scavenger hunt? Scavenger hunt?

All you have to do is call us

within the next five minutes.

Two random callers will be given a list of items

that they need to gather.

If they arrive at the Brass Monkey in two days

with proper identification

and the items from the scavenger hunt,

they get to see Gelatin Skeleton for free.

Get ready to call! Phone lines are open now!

Call us now at 555-ROCK.

That's 555-7625.

Phone lines are open now!

Where's the phone? Where's the phone?

Don't panic! I've got it right here!

What's the number? What's the number?

Oh, hold on. I've got it in my contacts.

There, there, there.

(sighs) It's busy.

Try again!

It's still busy!

Again!

(gasps) It's ringing!

Hello, caller. You made it through!

Oh, my God! Did we win?

You're the first

of our randomly selected callers.

Hi there. What's your name?

I'm Lita! And Doro.

And I'm here with my friend Doro.

What are we going to do to win?

All you guys need to do

is gather the items for the scavenger hunt.

Don't forget to bring them to the Brass Monkey in two days

and then just get ready to rock with us.

Oh, my God. That's so amazing!

I just need to get your phone number.

Nice try, buddy. I'm not falling for that one.

Not for me. For the contest, you cuckoo kids.

You know, to confirm that you two are the winners,

and to text you the list for the scavenger hunt.

Okay. That makes sense.

555-02367.

Lita, Dora, we'll see you in two days

at the Brass Monkey!

(screams) Oh, my God!

Gelatin Skeleton!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God.

What do you think is on that scavenger hunt list?

Oh, uh, let's have a look.

(birds chirping)

Are you getting through?

No. Still busy.

Keep trying.

I am. I'm not giving up.

Is it an all-ages show?

I think so. I hope so.

Do you think Mom and Dad will drive us there?

I don't know yet. One thing at a time.

First, we have to get through to this radio station.

Okay.

(gasps) Oh, man. It's ringing.

All right! Hello, listener.

Good news!

You're the second randomly selected caller!

Cool. Do we win?

Wait a minute. How old are you?

Uh...

18?

Me too.

Uh-huh, and uh, what grade are you in?

Grade two of college.

Okay, that checks out!

So, uh, what do we do?

I'll just send you two

a list of the scavenger hunt items.

Just bring them to the Brass Monkey with your proper ID,

and you two guys are ready to go.

Awesome!

Just give me your cell number

and I'll give you set with that list,

to rock with Gelatin Skeleton.

I can't believe it. My first concert!

(dog barks)

Skippy!

(dog barks)

Skippy! Stop your stupid barking.

(dog barks)

Skippy, why do you keep on running around,

exactly where I'm watering?

I just wanna get the darn lawn watered.

Why are you trying to make me frustrated?

Dumb dog.

(dog barks)

This sucks!

I don't wanna water the dumb lawn.

I don't wanna take out the dumb garbage.

I don't even wanna be a house husband.

I wanna be a content creator.

(birds chirping)

(dog barks)

What the heck?

(lively heavy rock music)

Oh, where's my phone?

Holy cow!

Is that a shark man walking through the suburbs?

Where the heck does he think he's going?

I can't believe my dumb luck. I'm gonna go viral.

(lively heavy rock music continues)

(dramatic orchestral newscast music)

People in a sleepy suburban neighborhood

were disturbed today by what can only be described

as a giant shark man

walking through their once safe streets.

The shark man is said to be wearing hip waders

and a red Mohawk.

It is approximately 10 feet tall.

If you see him, do not approach.

His current location is unknown. Be on alert.

What's on the scavenger list?

I'm just opening it now.

What's that?

Some sort of notification. A video link.

Of what? I don't know, let's see.

(static crackling)

(scoffs) Shark Man walks down suburban street.

Dumb.

Looks fake. (Lita sighs)

Okay.

So, we need to find a photograph of a tattoo, a drum stick

and a music cassette, whatever that is.

(engine humming) (dramatic orchestral music)

(typewriter clacking)

What news do you have, Major?

Any updates on the satellite crash?

It might be nothing, sirs,

but it's actually kind of strange, if you ask me.

Well, what kind of strange?

Well, as you know, the satellite that went down

was carrying some experimental

mutagenetic materials on board.

For what reason, for God's sake?

It's all above my pay grade,

but I gather it has something to do with seeing the effects

that zero gravity has on the experimental materials.

Frankly, it's all Greek to me.

So, what is your update then?

Well, it's probably a hoax,

but a video was recently uploaded

to the social media platforms and is now trending.

Hashtag.

What kind of video?

A shark man, walking through the suburban neighborhood.

A what?

A shark man!

Approximately nine feet tall,

with a Mohawk and hip waders.

Are you trying to pull our legs, Major?

No, sirs.

Our video experts are analyzing the video as we speak.

The only reason I bring this up is because

the suburban neighborhood in the video

is only a 30-minute walk from the satellite crash.

Are you insinuating that our satellite went down

with a mutagenic material on board,

somehow caused a mutation to form this shark man,

walking through the suburbs?

With a Mohawk and hip waders?

That's not my call to make, sirs.

Just giving you updates, as requested.

My mind is blown!

Well, where is this shark man now?

Well, this video was taken this morning,

and we haven't had a sighting of the creature since.

Can't this just be a stunt of some kind?

Or some kind of hoax?

Would you like me to keep you posted

as to what our video experts say?

Why not?

Keep us posted. You are dismissed.

Thank you, sirs.

(officer sighs)

"Shark man". (scoffs)

(birds chirping)

What do we need for the scavenger hunt?

We need to find a photo of a tattoo, a drum stick

and a cassette tape, whatever that is.

I think Dad has some of those.

It's like he spins them around, pencil or somethin'.

This is gonna be easy. Don't jinx it.

All right, let's go.

(bearded man laughs)

Okay, give me the keys. You're too drunk to drive.

No, I'm fine! I've had like two beers.

They were light beers. I can drive!

Better safe than sorry.

What the heck is that?

(plane engines roaring)

Is, is, is that a giant shark man?

That's a shark man.

I wouldn't say he was that big.

(electronic tone pulsating rapidly)

(shark man growls)

You know what? On second thought, that's pretty big.

Maybe you should drive.

I'm not driving, we're getting a cab right now

and we're getting the hell out of here.

Yeah.

(heavy rock music) (building rumbling)

(glass shattering)

(glass shattering)

(building thumps)

(debris crashing)

(pedestrians screaming)

(glass shatters)

(dramatic orchestral newscast music)

And that is how mustard is made.

Count me out.

In other news, more reports are coming in

about the shark man that was seen walking

in what has now become a viral video.

The latest update seemed to indicate

that the shark man has grown to giant size

and is causing untold destruction.

Giant shark is being described as...

Do we really need to describe it?

Is anyone going to confuse it for another giant shark?

Are you kidding?

It is described as having a red Mohawk and hip waders.

Repeat. The giant shark has a red Mohawk and hip waders.

This all sounds pretty fishy, if you ask me.

No pun intended.

(news anchor sighs)

A giant shark man?

This is it!

It's finally my time to shine!

They all said I was crazy,

but I'll prove to them I'm no mad man!

I'll be vindicated in the eyes of the scientific community!

They'll definitely have to call me

to help stop this giant shark menace!

They will realize that I, and only, I hold the solution.

They'll call.

They have to call.

So, the first item on the scavenger list is a tattoo.

Yeah. Oh, I have one right here.

Snap a pic. Coolness.

Perfect.

Okay, so now all we need is a drum stick,

and a cassette tape.

Oh, uh, the thrift store downtown

actually has cassette tapes.

Groovy, dude. Let's go!

(dramatic orchestral music) (typewriter clacking)

The latest intel shows that the shark man

has somehow grown to massive size!

How is such a thing even possible?

Well, who knows?

This sounds like something straight out of a B movie.

B movie? Not even.

More like, like, like a Z movie.

Well, if you wanna split hairs.

(chair thuds)

(Major sighs)

Sirs!

More information about the shark man.

Well, Major, let's have it!

Our scientists have determined a radio signal

emanating from the monster.

A radio signal? What kind of radio signal?

It sounds like rock and roll music.

Rock and roll music?

Yes, sirs.

We've determined that, due to its rural clothing,

that this creature may have originally been a fisherman,

listening to rock and roll music,

before he was transformed into the creature.

Well, how could such a thing happen?

Please don't say it's our satellite.

Please don't say it's our satellite.

Well!

Given the logical solution,

based on this illogical situation,

it looks like it was indeed our satellite.

(officer sighs) Geez!

Mutagen, whatever!

And now (sighs) this making them giant?

Definitely B movie material.

So, what about this radio signal?

Well, it seems like the shark man is walking

all over the globe, following this rock and roll signal.

All over the globe?

We're looking for a pattern,

but it seems to be rock and roll related,

and given the creature is massive now,

it makes tracks quicker than expected.

(sighs) I need a coffee.

(mug clacks)

(mug scrapes)

Very good. Keep us updated, Major.

Yes, sir.

(muffled glam rock music)

♪ Salty water runs down your face ♪

(shark man growls)

(lively heavy rock music)

(pedestrians murmuring)

(lively heavy rock music continues)

(explosion roars)

Shark!

Shark!

(lively heavy rock music continues)

Run through your life. Evacuate the city.

Don't stop to gather belongings.

Evacuate the city immediately.

(glass shattering) (building rumbling)

Okay, so we're one item down. We have one cassette tape.

Well, I bought a bunch,

and you can give that lousy one that you chose

to the radio station, but I'm keeping these.

What did you get?

I got Winger, Warrant, Britny Fox.

I like them.

Sweet FA, Cold Sweat.

Babylon AD.

Some pretty obscure stuff in there.

It'll get us in the mood for the Gelatin Skeleton concert.

Uh-oh.

What is it?

Looks like a news warning.

About what?

Remember that dumb shark man video?

Yeah?

It looks like it might be a real thing.

There's a video attachment.

(dramatic orchestral newscast music)

Word from our sources is that the shark man

has grown exponentially and is now kaiju size.

What the heck is a kaiju?

Can't I just say giant size?

Well, the cat is outta the bag anyway.

Who is writing this?

(news anchor exhales sharply)

The shark's motivation is unclear at the moment,

but officials are telling us that events

focused on rock and roll,

or the playing of loud rock and roll music,

should be avoided and canceled at all cost.

I'm here to respond to speculation in the press

that the giant glam metal shark is somehow connected

to our fallen satellite.

I'm here to deny those allegations.

I mean, come on.

A giant glam metal shark?

Are you kidding?

In local news, this young calf enjoys a birthday cake.

Oh, no!

This better not mean the concert's canceled.

Well, are we doing this scavenger hunt for nothing now?

(Doro groans)

Let's just go see what we can find out!

Okay.

(muffled glam rock music)

Oh, my God!

Is that a giant shark man?

Oh, it's coming.

And it's possessed by the love of rock and roll!

(passenger screams)

Reports are coming in of a shark-like creature

attacking the city.

Residents in the area are being encouraged

to ignore any righteous tunes

that the creature might be rocking.

And to please report immediately

to your nearest disaster center.

I don't think this is what the radio station meant

by a drum stick.

They weren't specific. This should be fine.

Maybe we should get a wooden one, just in case.

I don't think Chicken Hut sells wooden ones.

(dramatic orchestral music) (typewriter clacking)

Awaiting your order, sir.

Well, Major, we've given it some thought

and the time for inactivity has passed.

We've seen the destruction that this shark man has caused.

As you can see, look at the screen.

You need to press play.

I, I know that.

This is the scene outside of a record store.

(building rumbling) (glass shattering)

This is the scene outside of a local music festival

where something called glam metal rock is being played.

Whatever that is.

It's a style of rock and roll music, sir,

with catchy hooks, flashy-dressed musicians,

and killer guitar solos, sir.

I see.

Bitchin'.

This is quite enough destruction!

We need to bring in some of our best people

to take care of this!

Meaning what, sir?

Meaning we have some of our people

that have just finished training.

Let's put them on the choppers and see what they can do.

(chuckles) This is one of my favorite parts.

One of your favorite parts, sir?

Yes! A training montage!

(button clicks)

(dramatic orchestral music)

(dramatic orchestral music continues)

(dramatic orchestral music continues)

God, I love a good training montage.

What now, sir?

Well, let's get those boys airborne

and see about putting this shark man to bed!

Oh, yes, sir!

(tense percussive music)

Good morning, Corporal. Good morning, sir.

We're getting some choppers in the air now.

We've located the shark man. He's in this area.

(helicopter blades whirring) (tense music continues)

You're coming up to the shark, any minute now.

(helicopter blades whirring) (tense music continues)

Do you have a visual?

(glass shattering) (debris crashing)

(helicopter blades whirring) (tense music continues)

Dear Lord, that thing's bigger than I thought.

Let's take the sucker down.

I have the shark man in my sights.

Preparing to open fire.

Fire!

(guns firing rapidly) (missiles whooshing)

(missile whooshing)

(explosion roars) (debris crashing)

Whoops.

Let's try it one more time, boys.

(helicopter blades whirring)

Clear. (guns firing rapidly)

(explosion roars)

(glass shattering) (building rumbling)

(tense orchestral music continues)

(debris crashing)

Damn it.

(building rumbling) (glass shattering)

(building rumbling) (glass shattering)

(gardener sighs)

You better not ruin my dinner party.

(shears snipping)

(dramatic orchestral music) (typewriter clacking)

(Major sighs)

Hello, sir.

I'm afraid the operation

to take down the shark man has failed.

Yes, sir. Helicopters.

Big ones.

No, sir.

I, I'm afraid he was able to walk away without a scratch.

As for public property?

(Major inhales sharply)

I'll have to get back to you about that.

Yeah. Thank you, sir.

Yes, sir!

Yikes.

So, I heard on the radio news update

that the shark might be heading this way.

Maybe we should just go to the venue

and see if they're canceling the concert.

What's on the scavenger hunt list?

Might as well get everything we need on the way there.

Just a drum stick.

Easy peasy and rockin' like Dawkin.

I know a guy who has tons of 'em.

Sweet!

All right. This will be a breeze!

So, let's get the last item on the list,

on the way to the venue.

All right, let's go. Let's go.

(bell ringing) (stone crumbling)

(heavy footsteps thumping)

(shark man roars)

Hey, of course I can get you a drum stick.

That ain't no problem.

Hey, first I wanna show you something.

Come with me.

And here we go.

All right.

I wanna show you somethin'.

Ain't gonna be no problem getting you a drum stick.

(friend chuckles)

All right.

This is a lifetime of work, right here.

Yeah.

You can see I'm on my way.

Get you a drum stick here.

All right.

Yeah, of course. Go right over here.

Let's see.

Yeah.

So, we got plenty for you to choose from,

but of course I can find you a stick.

(drum sticks rattling)

How about two?

So, what I'm gonna do is

I'm gonna put these in my mailbox outside.

It's way too dangerous to go outside.

I don't do that no more.

But anyway, hope these do you some good.

(birds chirping)

(door clicks open)

(suspenseful music)

Just once.

Just wanna come out and enjoy a beer in peace.

(suspenseful music continues)

(heavy footsteps thumping)

(stone crumbling) (heavy footsteps thumping)

(shark man howling)

(walking stick clatters)

(stone crumbling) (heavy footsteps thumping)

All right, you bastard.

(shark man howling)

Come on.

(heavy footsteps thumping)

Um...

What's that sound?

(gasps) Oh.

(heavy footsteps thumping) (suspenseful music continues)

Gettin' outta here.

(heavy footsteps thumping) (birds chirping)

(heavy footsteps thumping) (suspenseful music continues)

(muffled glam rock music) (heavy footsteps thumping)

(dramatic orchestral newscast music)

In a special update,

we can confirm that the giant shark has entered Canada.

It is important that nobody panic.

We suggest you hide in your basements and perhaps write

a strongly-worded letter to your local politicians.

But whatever you do, don't panic.

Should I panic?

Hopefully this doesn't mean that the band's

not coming to town.

I'm 10 years old.

I may never have the chance to see them again.

Come on. Let's go find out what's going on.

(typewriter clacking) (muffled glam rock music)

(building rumbling) (glass shattering)

(siren wailing)

(heavy footsteps thumping) (distant sirens wailing)

The sheer amount of destruction is insane!

Surely to goodness they will call now!

They must realize that only my creation

can stop this Kaiju Glam Metal Shark attack!

If they don't realize...

Should I call them?

No.

Stand your ground! You are proud!

You are a genius!

They will realize

and then we will put you into action.

(dramatic orchestral music) (typewriter clacking)

I have an update, sirs. Go ahead, Major.

Our scientists are working on a theory.

What kind of theory?

The shark man seems to be attracted to loud music.

It is drawn to it, it appears.

Yes, and?

There's a concert scheduled to happen

in Ottawa soon.

Should be pretty loud.

If we can lure the shark towards it,

we might be able to set a trap for it.

Are you sure this will work?

We sure hope so.

It's really all we have to go on, so far.

All right.

Make it so!

(officer sighs)

Yes, sir!

(dramatic orchestral newscast music)

Be aware, the tickle bandit is still at large.

In other news, the Kaiju Glam Metal Shark

has made its way to Canada's capital city of Ottawa.

Are you sure it isn't supposed to say Toronto?

Really?

I always thought it was Toronto.

I guess you can call this educational content.

At any rate, the giant shark is in Ottawa.

The public is asked to stay indoors

and to avoid crowded areas.

If you see the giant shark, don't pause for selfies,

don't stop to point to the sky and say, "Ah."

Just get to safety.

In other news, gnus.

(crickets chirping) (distant dog barks)

Is that Mom and Dad?

No, it's the news.

They're saying that rock and roll shows

are getting canceled.

Not ours, I hope. I hope not too.

What's going on?

Giant shark man.

It's always somethin'.

Who knew that a giant shark

would come into Ottawa of all places?

Beats me.

Come on, let's go get the next scavenger hunt item.

(phone rings)

Your phone beeped again.

It's a news notice. What's it say?

The shark is getting closer.

What should we do?

Let's go to the venue to see if the show's canceled.

But what about the final piece of the scavenger hunt?

It's a photo of a tattoo.

We should be able to find one at the venue.

(heavy footstep thumps)

What was that noise? Is it an earthquake?

It must be the shark man.

Look!

(tense percussive music)

(shark man roaring)

(shark man roaring)

(tense music continues)

(hurried footsteps clacking)

(car crashes)

(car smashes)

(tires screeching)

(car smashes)

Look out!

(hurried footsteps clacking)

(tense music continues)

That was close. What should we do?

Let's go.

(heavy footsteps thumping) (tense music continues)

(heavy footsteps thumping) (hurried footsteps clacking)

(sign thuds)

(heavy footsteps thumping)

(building crumbling)

(plane engines roaring) (tense music continues)

(passenger sighs)

(shark man roaring)

(tense music continues)

(plane engines roaring)

Oh, my God.

Hey!

No!

(explosion roars)

(heavy footsteps thumping)

All right! No more messing around!

It's time to bring out the big guns!

(tense orchestral music) (soldiers chattering)

(phone rings)

Fire missiles!

(heavy footsteps thumping) (tense music continues)

(missiles whooshing) (gentle ethereal music)

(keyboard clacking)

(tense orchestral music)

(missiles whooshing)

(heavy footsteps thumping) (tense music continues)

(soldiers chattering)

(missiles whooshing)

(officer sighs)

(explosion roars)

I don't believe it. It's still alive.

Damn it! We'll have to go with a land assault!

(tense orchestral music continues)

(helicopter blades whirring)

(tank canon thumps)

(explosion roars)

(helicopter blades whirring)

(helicopter thuds)

(helicopter blades whirring)

(helicopter scraping and clunking)

(flames roaring and crackling)

(tense orchestral music continues)

(tank canon thumping) (explosions roaring)

We're left with the truck?

(shark man roaring)

(inventor giggles)

Helicopters won't work, you idiots!

Missiles, tanks, throw everything you've got at it!

You'll soon see I am the only solution that you'll need.

My mechanical creation.

Soon.

Soon!

Take out the garbage!

Not now, Mom!

(inventor sighs)

(tense orchestral music)

(children panting)

Where is everyone?

I think they evacuated the area.

Well, it was great they let us know.

Come on. Let's go.

(shark man roaring) (suspenseful orchestral music)

(hurried footsteps clacking)

(stone crumbling)

I'm going this way.

No! Don't split up!

(heavy footsteps thumping)

(ominous orchestral music)

(shark man roaring)

Oh, my God!

This is worse than I could have imagined.

Let's get somewhere safe, quick.

Go!

Doro!

(concrete crumbling)

(buildings crumbling) (glass shattering)

(buildings crumbling) (glass shattering)

(building crumbling) (glass shattering)

(buildings crumbling) (debris crashing)

(buildings crumbling) (debris crashing)

(ominous orchestral music continues)

(concrete crumbling)

We have not been able to stop

the monster's forward movement, sir.

What do we do now?

We may have one option, sir.

Make it so.

(officer sighs)

(phone rings)

It's the call!

(phone rings)

Soon, my mechanical creation,

you will rise up and enter battle!

(phone rings)

Y'ello!

Yes, I knew you would call.

Yes, my creation is ready for battle.

For

500

thousand dollars,

I will send my robot after this Kaiju Glam Metal Shark.

Will you meet my terms?

Excellent.

I will activate the robot, after the funds are transferred.

(phone clacks)

(squeals) Yes!

(inventor pants)

(heavy footsteps thumping) (tense orchestral music)

(shark man roaring)

(heavy footstep thumps)

(shark man roaring)

(shark man roaring)

(heavy footstep thumps)

Let him have it, boys.

(heavy footstep thumps) (tense music continues)

(heavy footstep thumps)

(vehicle smashes)

(explosion roars)

(hurried footsteps clacking)

(Doro gasps)

(foot thumps)

(child groans)

I just saw a lady get smooshed!

So did I.

Let's go.

(heavy footsteps thumping) (tense music continues)

(heavy footsteps thumping) (tense music continues)

We have the asset.

The asset is in position, sir.

Give him hell!

(robot motors whining)

(shark man roaring)

(robot motors whining)

(heavy footsteps thumping) (tense music continues)

(robot laser guns whining)

(shark man roaring)

(robot lasers zapping)

(robot motors whining) (robot lasers zapping)

(shark man roaring) (explosion roaring)

Surely it couldn't have survived that!

(shark man roaring) (tense music continues)

(robot motors whining)

For God sakes, give 'em hell!

Rain the hell down on all of them!

Go get him, boys!

(shark man roaring) (tense music continues)

Yes!

Show that thing who's boss!

(robot motors whining)

Fury! (inhales deeply)

(robot lasers zapping)

Surely he could not have survived that!

(drone chirps and bleeps)

(drone chirps and bleeps)

(drone chirps and bleeps)

Kick his butt!

(drone lasers zapping)

(drone chirps and bleeps)

(explosions roaring)

(drone chirps and bleeps)

(shark man roaring)

Good!

Good! That's it, my robot!

Surely he could not survive that!

(shark man roaring)

Oh, no!

(shark man roaring) (tense music continues)

(flames roaring)

Fire breath.

Most unexpected.

(robot motors whining) (robot feet thudding)

(flames roaring)

(drone bleeps and chirps)

Oh, no!

(explosions thumping)

(drone bleeps and chirps)

Not my robot!

(robot motors whining) (robot feet thudding)

(shark man roaring)

Poopy.

(foot thumps)

(shark man roaring)

(Lita panting)

(foot thumps)

(heavy footsteps thumping) (tense music continues)

(heavy footsteps thumping) (somber orchestral music)

(heavy footstep thumps) (car smashes)

(shark man roaring)

(somber orchestral music continues)

(rubble crashing)

(heavy footstep thumps)

(heavy footstep thumps)

(hurried footsteps clacking)

There's the venue. Let's go inside.

All attempts to stop the creature have failed.

The band has agreed to play early.

We'll use them as bait.

It's in the hands of rock and roll now.

(upbeat glam rock music)

(muffled upbeat glam rock music)

(shark man roaring)

(shark man roaring)

♪ It was back in the summer of '89 ♪

♪ Back when the ladies were lookin' real fine ♪

♪ Requesting Warrant on the radio station ♪

♪ And countin' days till the summer vacation ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ It's a change in the weather ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Things can only get better ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ And you don't need a reason ♪

♪ But it's a change in the season ♪

♪ VHS ♪ ♪ It was a very hot summer ♪

♪ We marched to a different drummer ♪

♪ VHS ♪ ♪ It was a very hot summer ♪

♪ And when it ends it can only be a bummer ♪

♪ We'd go to the mall to scoop on the ladies ♪

♪ That's the way we did it back in the '80s ♪

♪ Grab the suntan oil and head to the beaches ♪

♪ Say no more books and no more teachers ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ It's a change in the weather ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Things can only get better ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ And you don't need a reason ♪

♪ But it's a change in the season ♪

♪ VHS ♪ ♪ It was a very hot summer ♪

♪ We marched to a different drummer ♪

♪ VHS ♪ ♪ It was a very hot summer ♪

♪ And when it ends it can only be a bummer ♪

(wailing guitar solo) (glam rock music continues)

(energetic dual guitar solos) (glam rock music continues)

♪ It was back in the summer of '89 ♪

♪ Back when the ladies were lookin' real fine ♪

♪ Requesting Winger around the radio stations ♪

♪ And countin' days till the summer vacation ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ It's a change in the weather ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Things can only get better ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ And you don't need a reason ♪

♪ It's a change in the season ♪

♪ VHS ♪ ♪ It was a very hot summer ♪

♪ We marched to a different drummer ♪

♪ VHS ♪ ♪ It was a very hot summer ♪

♪ And when it ends it can only be a bummer ♪

♪ VHS ♪ ♪ It was a very hot summer ♪

♪ We marched to a different drummer ♪

♪ VHS ♪ ♪ It was a very hot summer ♪

♪ And when it ends it can only be a bummer ♪

♪ VHS ♪

♪ VHS ♪

(audience cheering and applauding)

(high-pitched electronic tone pulsating)

(audience cheering and applauding)

The shark creature has vanished.

Rock on, General.

Rock on, soldier!

Rock on!

Man, that show was awesome.

Yeah, it's weird how they didn't ask

for any of the scavenger hunt stuff.

Hey, maybe they have bigger fish to fry.

No pun intended.

It sucks how those ladies got smooshed, though.

Yeah.

Look.

♪ Don't come in if the van is a-rockin' ♪

♪ If I only had myself a time machine ♪

♪ I would travel to ♪

(dramatic orchestral newscast music)

Peace has returned to the country, and indeed the world,

at the news that the Kaiju Glam Metal Shark

has ended its reign of terror.

Here's a comment from a representative of the space agency

whose crashed satellite is believed

to have created the creature.

We at the space agency are pleased that the rampage

of the Glam Metal Shark has come to an end.

We once again deny any connection to its creation.

In fact, we are going to relaunch our satellite into space

and we anticipate that all will go well.

I mean...

What could go wrong?

Many questions remain.

Where is the shark now? Who will pay for all the damage?

And does this mean a return to the fun,

bombastic style of music that the creature's name suggests?

One can only wait to see.

Rest assured, though, that when important news happens,

we will be there to report it.

And now, fluffy puppies.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat glam rock music)

♪ Well, you stepped in my face, broke my heart ♪

♪ You looked at me with hate ♪

♪ And you seek disguise for a trend ♪

♪ Can't look me in the eye ♪

♪ Mistreater, deceiver ♪

♪ Go straight to hell ♪

♪ If you see Kay, tell her ♪

♪ I don't want her ♪

♪ If you see Kay, tell her ♪

♪ I don't care ♪

♪ If you see Kay, I'm over ♪

♪ Oh, like water ♪

♪ If you see Kay, I'm done ♪

♪ With despair ♪

♪ You used this as a knife, tore me apart ♪

♪ You won't be taking my life ♪

♪ And you tried to waste, broke my heart ♪

♪ You need two to replace me ♪

♪ Destroyer, enjoyer ♪

♪ I don't wish you well ♪

♪ If you see Kay, tell her ♪

♪ I don't want her ♪

♪ If you see Kay, tell her ♪

♪ I don't care ♪

♪ If you see Kay, I'm over ♪

♪ Oh, like water ♪

♪ If you see Kay, I'm done ♪

♪ With despair ♪

(lively guitar solo) (glam rock music continues)

♪ If you see Kay, tell her ♪

♪ I don't want her ♪

♪ If you see Kay, tell her ♪

♪ I don't care ♪

♪ If you see Kay, I'm over ♪

♪ Oh, like water ♪

♪ If you see Kay, I'm done ♪

♪ With despair ♪

(dramatic orchestral music)

(dramatic orchestral music continues)

(dramatic orchestral music continues)

(dramatic orchestral music continues)