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1
00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:11,442
Oh, what?
2
00:00:11,443 --> 00:00:12,779
Now you're going to take the boot side
3
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:13,629
because you decided to
4
00:00:13,630 --> 00:00:14,935
marry a whore.
5
00:00:14,936 --> 00:00:15,768
(grunting)
6
00:00:15,769 --> 00:00:16,649
(punching sounds and grunting)
7
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,140
Get the fuck off you-
8
00:00:18,141 --> 00:00:19,191
Get him
9
00:00:20,356 --> 00:00:22,935
(bomb exploding)
10
00:00:22,936 --> 00:00:25,686
(booming sounds)
11
00:00:27,630 --> 00:00:29,699
Lip balm sticks to kids.
12
00:00:29,700 --> 00:00:32,268
Lip balm sticks kids.
13
00:00:32,269 --> 00:00:34,341
(laughing)
14
00:00:34,342 --> 00:00:37,129
(upbeat music)
15
00:00:37,130 --> 00:00:42,130
Do you live at 1756 West Jones street?
16
00:00:42,986 --> 00:00:45,753
No. I live with my girlfriend.
17
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,262
(stamp hitting table)
18
00:00:47,263 --> 00:00:48,299
(upbeat music)
19
00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:50,649
I'm sorry to do this to your ma'am,
20
00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:52,769
but I can't let you
through the gate right now.
21
00:00:52,770 --> 00:00:54,269
But why is that officer?
22
00:00:54,270 --> 00:00:55,979
I got you this job.
23
00:00:55,980 --> 00:00:57,329
Don't think I won't get your ass fired
24
00:00:57,330 --> 00:00:58,530
if you make me look bad.
25
00:01:01,210 --> 00:01:02,729
Take the trash out,
26
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:05,948
and clean the motherfucking
house on your day off.
27
00:01:05,949 --> 00:01:08,778
I'm sick and tired or
your messy, stinky ass.
28
00:01:08,779 --> 00:01:10,359
A raise?
29
00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:11,289
Listen,
30
00:01:11,290 --> 00:01:12,599
hide this away in the motor pool.
31
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:13,432
All right.
32
00:01:13,433 --> 00:01:14,399
Maybe we should burn them.
33
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:16,459
How did you know they were
a part of the drug ring?
34
00:01:16,460 --> 00:01:17,589
Instincts.
35
00:01:17,590 --> 00:01:19,029
You'll get there.
36
00:01:19,030 --> 00:01:21,329
[Man 1] So like, now what do we do?
37
00:01:21,330 --> 00:01:23,119
We just give it over to CID?
38
00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:23,952
[Man 2] No, no, no.
39
00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:24,785
This is ours. All right.
40
00:01:24,786 --> 00:01:25,909
We're going to see this
whole thing through.
41
00:01:25,910 --> 00:01:26,869
While we on patrol tomorrow,
42
00:01:26,870 --> 00:01:28,879
we're going to make a little pit stop.
43
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:32,529
Someone once told me
that all men's lives
44
00:01:32,530 --> 00:01:34,069
end the same way,
45
00:01:34,070 --> 00:01:36,489
but it's the details of those lives,
46
00:01:36,490 --> 00:01:37,540
that define us.
47
00:01:38,950 --> 00:01:42,563
Some people live long lives
full of love and relationships.
48
00:01:43,690 --> 00:01:45,769
Others, are taken from us,
49
00:01:45,770 --> 00:01:46,923
far too soon.
50
00:01:52,082 --> 00:01:54,749
(buzzing sound)
51
00:02:01,835 --> 00:02:06,479
(feet shuffling)
(heaving sounds)
52
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:07,312
Okay.
53
00:02:07,313 --> 00:02:09,169
Cera, there are a few things
you need to know about
54
00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:10,220
dealing with a perv.
55
00:02:14,053 --> 00:02:16,970
(sniffling sounds)
56
00:02:18,537 --> 00:02:20,380
(music)
57
00:02:20,381 --> 00:02:23,131
(moaning sounds)
58
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:30,329
First thing, stare at their
hands, not their face.
59
00:02:30,330 --> 00:02:32,620
Their face isn't gonna
to pull a gun out on you.
60
00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:38,337
(man farting)
61
00:02:38,338 --> 00:02:40,588
(belching)
62
00:02:42,234 --> 00:02:43,849
(sighing)
63
00:02:43,850 --> 00:02:44,900
Second of all,
64
00:02:44,901 --> 00:02:47,819
they're gonna get off their
pants and looking around,
65
00:02:47,820 --> 00:02:48,870
snatch them up.
66
00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:51,949
Fuck.
67
00:02:51,950 --> 00:02:53,449
They're gonna run speed ultimately.
68
00:02:53,450 --> 00:02:54,419
Roger that.
69
00:02:54,420 --> 00:02:55,409
Finally,
70
00:02:55,410 --> 00:02:56,359
if you're going into a scene
71
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,739
and it's chaotic
72
00:02:58,740 --> 00:03:00,910
deal with the guy
without a shirt on first,
73
00:03:00,911 --> 00:03:02,573
(breathing heavily)
74
00:03:02,574 --> 00:03:04,374
He's probably causing the problems.
75
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,120
Is that last one a real thing.
76
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,962
Yeah.
77
00:03:09,963 --> 00:03:10,979
That's literally what I just said.
78
00:03:10,980 --> 00:03:12,030
Yeah.
79
00:03:12,031 --> 00:03:13,769
Go through the back.
80
00:03:13,770 --> 00:03:15,370
We'll breach the front and rear.
81
00:03:19,907 --> 00:03:22,740
(heavy breathing)
82
00:03:23,990 --> 00:03:25,040
Well, go.
83
00:03:32,903 --> 00:03:34,466
Oh hey.
84
00:03:34,467 --> 00:03:35,849
Senora Butts,
85
00:03:35,850 --> 00:03:36,949
That's me.
86
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,922
Yes. I got two stuffed
crusts, cheesy bread,
87
00:03:38,923 --> 00:03:42,110
Alfredo bread roll and chicalote.
88
00:03:42,111 --> 00:03:43,161
Great. Great.
89
00:03:44,788 --> 00:03:47,091
Here.
90
00:03:47,092 --> 00:03:52,092
Hold your bag.
91
00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:57,869
Hey am playing a little
call of duty in there
92
00:03:57,870 --> 00:03:59,689
and I know you're working right now, but
93
00:03:59,690 --> 00:04:01,250
we'll you hit the sticks with me.
94
00:04:02,270 --> 00:04:03,320
No.
95
00:04:04,290 --> 00:04:06,889
Okay. I have a, an Atari as well.
96
00:04:06,890 --> 00:04:08,639
We can, you could watch me
play pitfall or you know,
97
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,343
you can play pitfall. Okay?
98
00:04:11,989 --> 00:04:13,039
Gracias.
99
00:04:20,104 --> 00:04:22,687
(upbeat music)
100
00:04:55,110 --> 00:04:57,860
(dramatic music)
101
00:05:55,101 --> 00:05:59,259
[Laptop] Hello and
welcome back to part three
102
00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:00,909
of your penis and you.
103
00:06:00,910 --> 00:06:02,449
Let's get into position,
104
00:06:02,450 --> 00:06:03,599
stretch your legs.
105
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,179
Cross your body, perpendicular
to the floor and your spine.
106
00:06:06,180 --> 00:06:07,879
Push gently.
107
00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:09,080
Don't hurt yourself now.
108
00:06:09,221 --> 00:06:11,309
If you have a spotter,
109
00:06:11,310 --> 00:06:12,929
now's the time to use them.
110
00:06:12,930 --> 00:06:14,280
Inch towards that man meat.
111
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:17,650
That's my big boy.
112
00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:21,753
(dramatic music)
113
00:06:49,398 --> 00:06:51,279
(blows)
114
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:52,330
Run, go.
115
00:07:06,857 --> 00:07:08,739
All team, on me.
116
00:07:08,740 --> 00:07:10,469
Okay. We're going to go to
the left side of the building.
117
00:07:10,470 --> 00:07:12,988
We're going to throw some Claymores.
118
00:07:12,989 --> 00:07:13,821
Oh shit.
119
00:07:13,822 --> 00:07:15,369
I just got a kill streak. Okay.
120
00:07:15,370 --> 00:07:16,202
Guys.
121
00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:17,459
Mikey, Mikey, come with me.
122
00:07:17,460 --> 00:07:19,489
We're going to go over there.
We're gonna to outflank him.
123
00:07:19,490 --> 00:07:20,532
[On Phone] Fuck you.
124
00:07:20,533 --> 00:07:22,409
Why don't you flank your Dad's dick?
125
00:07:22,410 --> 00:07:23,679
Loser.
126
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,537
You fucking idiot.
127
00:07:25,538 --> 00:07:28,442
(video game gun shots blaring)
128
00:07:28,443 --> 00:07:29,969
Stop right there.
129
00:07:29,970 --> 00:07:31,849
Put the weapon down or
I'll shoot you in your
130
00:07:31,850 --> 00:07:32,799
boobs.
131
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,433
I'll fucking cut him. Get back.
132
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,673
Get back or I'll cut him. Get back.
133
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,033
Get back and shut up.
134
00:07:48,265 --> 00:07:52,015
(grunts and heavy breathing)
135
00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:54,230
Thank you.
136
00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:58,479
You could have just used your taser.
137
00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:02,499
I am so fucking high right now.
138
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:04,839
Come on, get on the bed.
139
00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,669
Come here, oh yeah, those are for you.
140
00:08:07,670 --> 00:08:09,199
Those are for you big boy.
141
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,679
You're fucking booked.
142
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,000
Am gonna fucking wreck you.
143
00:08:13,380 --> 00:08:15,009
Woo. We did good.
144
00:08:15,010 --> 00:08:17,489
Alright guys. We are
looking pretty good right now.
145
00:08:17,490 --> 00:08:19,938
We just need to push this
offensive and we are gonna...
146
00:08:19,939 --> 00:08:21,933
God damn it.
147
00:08:22,691 --> 00:08:24,769
Dylan,
148
00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:28,869
I told you to scout for snipers.
149
00:08:28,870 --> 00:08:31,220
[On Phone] How about
I scout your mom's cunt.
150
00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:35,642
(indistinct mutter)
151
00:08:51,904 --> 00:08:54,396
(dramatic music)
152
00:08:54,397 --> 00:08:57,619
... hey mic fat fatty fat fuck.
153
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,069
Am gonna fuck fuck your mom.
154
00:08:59,070 --> 00:09:00,120
Do you hear me?
155
00:09:00,932 --> 00:09:02,829
Do you hear me you little piece of shit.
156
00:09:02,830 --> 00:09:03,969
Dylan.
157
00:09:03,970 --> 00:09:05,949
I am going to come down there.
158
00:09:05,950 --> 00:09:07,819
Break into your home,
159
00:09:07,820 --> 00:09:09,679
face fuck your father
160
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:11,889
until your mother falls in love with me
161
00:09:11,890 --> 00:09:15,680
and you're getting a new
step daddy, brother. Fuck!
162
00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:18,391
[On Phone] If I find you home
am gonna fuck your shit up.
163
00:09:20,932 --> 00:09:23,682
(dramatic music)
164
00:09:37,594 --> 00:09:40,269
God, I couldn't be
more proud of you boys.
165
00:09:40,270 --> 00:09:43,749
Cera, oh, showing so much courage
166
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:44,799
and boys,
167
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:47,009
backing up your battle
buddy Lawrence there.
168
00:09:47,010 --> 00:09:48,759
Oh and Lawrence,
169
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:50,059
I don't even know how you walk around
170
00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:53,409
with those big gorilla balls
hanging in between your legs.
171
00:09:53,410 --> 00:09:54,479
You know, I just um,
172
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:55,969
tape them into my legs, so...
173
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,063
Yeah, and I help.
174
00:10:03,810 --> 00:10:04,860
All right.
175
00:10:06,180 --> 00:10:08,089
Well, I'm telling you what,
176
00:10:08,090 --> 00:10:09,929
you couldn't make me look any more
177
00:10:09,930 --> 00:10:13,465
better than I do on the
front of the army times.
178
00:10:13,466 --> 00:10:14,298
Whoo.
179
00:10:14,299 --> 00:10:15,466
Look at you.
180
00:10:17,892 --> 00:10:19,359
All right, listen guys.
181
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:20,529
You're killing it.
182
00:10:20,530 --> 00:10:22,799
Keep up the good work. All right.
183
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,209
Go out there and have some fun.
184
00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:25,899
- Thanks Sergeant.
- I'll see you around.
185
00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:27,100
Lawrence. Hold up a sec.
186
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,450
Talk to you for a second.
187
00:10:30,740 --> 00:10:31,919
Hey, listen.
188
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,879
I know how you and Cera are,
189
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,699
sister sisters or whatever
your handshake is,
190
00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:40,230
but you're non commissioned
officer now, right?
191
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:42,069
You're gonna learn,
192
00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:44,429
it's difficult to be a friend
193
00:10:44,430 --> 00:10:46,313
and an NCO at the same time.
194
00:10:46,451 --> 00:10:49,209
You follow what I'm saying?
195
00:10:49,210 --> 00:10:51,822
- I do. I understand Sergeant.
- Right.
196
00:10:51,823 --> 00:10:52,655
Well, why don't you get
197
00:10:52,656 --> 00:10:55,829
you and your big old
donkey dick outta here.
198
00:10:55,830 --> 00:10:56,662
Yes Sergeant.
199
00:10:56,663 --> 00:10:57,679
All right.
200
00:10:57,680 --> 00:10:58,512
Donkey what?
201
00:10:58,513 --> 00:10:59,563
Donkey...
202
00:11:00,890 --> 00:11:01,990
Can I help you, sir?
203
00:11:02,950 --> 00:11:05,903
Well, you can start by
addressing me properly, Sergeant.
204
00:11:12,590 --> 00:11:14,909
Hmm? Outstanding.
205
00:11:14,910 --> 00:11:16,419
Sergeant a word please.
206
00:11:16,420 --> 00:11:17,639
Absolutely, sir.
207
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:20,419
Lawrence, go kick rocks.
I'll talk to you later.
208
00:11:20,420 --> 00:11:21,470
Thanks.
209
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:30,639
You must be the new Lieutenant.
210
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:32,289
Bridges, Geoffrey.
211
00:11:32,290 --> 00:11:33,709
Nice to meet you, sir.
212
00:11:33,710 --> 00:11:35,289
Your name is Jeff Bridges.
213
00:11:35,290 --> 00:11:38,099
Geof but yes. Why?
214
00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:40,173
It's awesome. Jeff bridges. The actor.
215
00:11:42,210 --> 00:11:44,633
He played the dude, the big Lebowski.
216
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,559
I don't, I don't get the reference.
217
00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:48,610
Oh.
218
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,099
And your name? Sergeant?
219
00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:52,959
Dean. James Dean.
220
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:54,803
Haha, like the little sausages?
221
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,019
No, that's Jimmy.
222
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:59,089
I'm just James. Jimmy, James.
223
00:11:59,090 --> 00:12:00,140
Right?
224
00:12:01,090 --> 00:12:03,309
Well, Sergeant Dean,
225
00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:04,269
do you think you could assist me
226
00:12:04,270 --> 00:12:06,409
as to the whereabouts of my office?
227
00:12:06,410 --> 00:12:09,010
I think you're right
across the hall from me, sir.
228
00:12:09,870 --> 00:12:10,963
Excellent. Alright.
229
00:12:11,990 --> 00:12:13,913
Oh, and before I forget, I have a,
230
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:17,809
package for you.
231
00:12:17,810 --> 00:12:19,823
Is it a rug or a briefcase?
232
00:12:21,380 --> 00:12:22,650
No, it is nei...
233
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:25,319
Look for the movie.
234
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:26,359
I haven't seen that movie.
235
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:27,329
What is this?
236
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:29,749
Berets of course.
237
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:30,939
I noticed your men weren't wearing any,
238
00:12:30,940 --> 00:12:33,819
so I took the Liberty
of ordering some, again.
239
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:35,169
I did send another package,
240
00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:37,659
am not sure what happened
to that one, Sergeant.
241
00:12:37,660 --> 00:12:39,493
Also a memo. Did you read it?
242
00:12:41,290 --> 00:12:43,159
Sir, my guys don't wear black Berets.
243
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,399
Oh, is that right?
244
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,353
Well Sergeant, my guys do.
245
00:12:54,709 --> 00:12:57,939
(phone ringing)
246
00:12:57,940 --> 00:12:59,140
You gonna answer that?
247
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,507
Or they can leave a message.
248
00:13:03,717 --> 00:13:08,459
Well, it was so
wonderful to meet in a gym.
249
00:13:08,460 --> 00:13:09,459
I have much work to do,
250
00:13:09,460 --> 00:13:13,009
but I look forward to seeing
my guys in proper uniform
251
00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:14,060
tomorrow.
252
00:13:18,260 --> 00:13:19,310
Other way, sir.
253
00:13:23,330 --> 00:13:24,923
Other other way, sir?
254
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:27,750
I literally can't find...
255
00:13:31,970 --> 00:13:33,020
Dean.
256
00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:35,570
Hello.
257
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,669
Who's never seen the big Lebowski?
258
00:13:41,670 --> 00:13:43,658
[Phone Voice] Please
try your call again later.
259
00:13:43,659 --> 00:13:44,709
Goodbye.
260
00:14:27,696 --> 00:14:29,946
(giggling)
261
00:14:34,243 --> 00:14:36,826
(upbeat music)
262
00:14:43,855 --> 00:14:46,688
(inhaling loudly)
263
00:14:48,987 --> 00:14:51,404
(soft music)
264
00:15:16,130 --> 00:15:18,213
(laughs)
265
00:15:44,362 --> 00:15:48,195
(video game gunshots blaring)
266
00:16:03,347 --> 00:16:07,180
(indistinct voice on speaker)
267
00:16:38,936 --> 00:16:41,769
(phone vibrating)
268
00:16:47,203 --> 00:16:49,786
(upbeat music)
269
00:17:31,531 --> 00:17:34,031
[Announcer] Present forward.
270
00:17:34,081 --> 00:17:38,631
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