Original subtitles

"Boy!"

"Boy!"

"I came home and brightened the place"

"Get up, lower the bass and increase the beat"

"Celebrate my arrival with fire clapping, and ululations"

- "I am El Kabeer" - "He is El Kabeer"

"Money, arms, power and an army of 3000 men''

"A hundred times stronger than a bear I roar like a lion"

"As proud as an eagle sly like a fox"

"Mix all of these together and you will have El Kabeer"

- "A dangerous mix" - "A dangerous mix"

"I drank camel milk as a kid not formula or juice"

"That's why I am tough, rough and dangerous"

"Professional PlayStation gamer and can beat any small kid"

- "Or a big kid" - "Or a big kid"

"I can rule any people no matter how many"

"It doesn't matter if they are rich or poor"

"Even if they are scholars, illiterates, or college kids"

"They have to obey me or they will disappear''

"Objection!"

"Yeah"

"Yeah"

"Come on! I really love this country like the fat kid loves the cake"

"And I'll be the new Mayor please just give yourself a break"

"You can't even battle me one on one Mr. Fake"

"My rap is like an ocean while your rap is like a lake"

"Please talk to me in Arabic if you don't mind brother"

"Don't mimic Eminem 50 Cent or Soulja Boy"

"If we compared our Rap to the breeds of dogs"

"mine would be Pitbull and yours will be a stray called Roy"

- "Listen, El Kabeer" - "No, you shut up and listen"

"I am a knight and can lift heavier than you can"

"No way you can beat me no matter how hard you try"

"Even in the Rap challenge I'll always have the final word"

"An apple tastes bitter when you eat it after chocolate"

''End of story!''

"Boy!"

"Episode 7"

- Thomas! Thomas! - Yes?

Check if the lunch is ready I'm so hungry

No, it's not ready yet

- Ok! Thomas! Thomas! - Yes?

- Check what they're preparing for lunch - They're preparing Okra

Ok! What's the result of 5 times 6, Thomas?

Stop it, Johnny! Let me play!

You're playing and I'm playing! We have been doing nothing since we got here

Thomas! Check this out! Guess who added me?

- Who? - It's Robert! He added me on Skype

Really?

He's calling me online, too

Great, talk to him then!

Hey, Robert! How are you doing?

"Hey, Johnny! I'm fine, how are you doing?"

Good, we've been working so hard since we got here

look at under my eyes!

- What are you doing? - "Nothing much"

- "Working and playing football" - "What? Are you still playing?"

- "Of course, I am!" - What about wired Jack?

- Is he still playing like you? - "Of course, Jack is the captain now"

Jack is the captain! No way!

How? He has no talent at all!

"Why are you saying that, Johnny? Jack is talented but you don't know him well"

Of course, I know him! I know him even before you joined the team

This man is like a square! He's puffed in vain

and above all, he's so unbearable!

- "No, he's not, Johnny!" - "Yes, he is! He is!"

And what you don't know about him that he's so jealous of me!

How can I describe it to you? He went nuts when I joined the team

he has no charisma at all! So... what is this?

"Who are you calling a jealous man, loser?"

"Did you forget?"

"You couldn't even enter the field! You were always on the bench, loser"

How silly you are! I really miss your silliness

first, I wasn't on the bench for no reason

that was a strategy! The coach won't let the winning card play from the beginning

he used to keep me for the right moment

to change the whole course of the match!

"This right moment had never come"

"and the coach got rid of you, loser!"

it's so silly to say a joke you're the only one who laughs at it

when did the coach get rid of me? When did he do that?

I didn't even care about football

and look at me! Look, it has been years since I touched a ball

but if I'll play against you I'll win!

"Would you really win? Do you even have a team?"

What? Haven't you ever heard about Al Mazareeta's American football team?

It's the best team in all Africa!

"Al Mazareeta? I've never heard such a name!"

I'm not shocked at all because you know nothing about football

go and google it to know who they are

I would really like to take them to play against your team

but unfortunately, we don't have time! What can we do?

We have an international match everyday, everyday!

we're now going to play against Mozambique

"You don't have to come to me"

"I'll come to you!"

Where would you come? It's a long journey from America to Cairo to here, it's so long!

"No, next month we have a match in Dubai"

"we'll finish it and come to you right away"

- "Deal?" - Deal!

"What about the loser?"

Since you're going to lose choose what will happen to you

"The loser will eat the ball we'll play with in front of both my and your team!"

Ok!

"You would better not eat much on that day"

"because you'll have a stomachache when you'll eat the ball, loser"

What a silly man! He's really unbearable!

He's so unbearable!

Johnny, are you crazy?

Do you really want to play against Jack?

Johnny, you've always been a bench player

and Jack was the best player in the team how would you win?

Listen, Thomas, that was because I wasn't so much into football

I was a teenager! All I cared about were breakdancing, water ballet, hot chicks

and acne! These were my interests I wasn't focusing about playing

but if I'll focus on that I can beat ten men of Jack's kind

Ok! So, you can beat 10 men of Jack's kind

now, where is Al Mazareeta team the best team in Africa...

and which is going to play against Mozambique today?

We can certainly find people who play American football in Al Mazareeta

No one plays American football in all Egypt!

How would there be anyone play it in Al Mazareeta?

- No one plays it in all Egypt! - No one, man!

- No one at all? - No one!

- This is really ridiculous! - Ridiculous or not...

what are you going to do?

- I'll create a team! - "Join Al Mazareeta's American football team"

- What is this, mayor? - Guess what?

it's an ad! We want to make an American football team

from Al Mazareeta village!

What's wrong, guys? Why aren't you excited?

American football!

Do you know that game in which the players wear pads on their shoulders?

They wear helmets like the ones you wear when you ride a motorbike

where a player holds a ball and all of them hit one another

- Do you mean that Cucumis melo-like red ball? - Exactly!

No, I don't know it

- Thomas! - Ok!

Here it is!

This is American football

this is the team we want!

Ok, who will join the team will have a free helmet

or 2 free American football uniforms from America! They're really cool!

Well, a camel liver sandwich

- We just have 3 men! - Give them more food

2 Liver sandwiches with Tahini

I'm in!

We have only 4 men!

- Let's go somewhere else - Let's go!

- Maybe, we'll get lucky - You're great!

What's up, Bro? What's up?

"Al Mazareeta's Youth Center"

Oh my God!

Is this Al Mazareeta's Youth Center?

- Yes - Where's the youth?

There are either kids or oldies

- And what do they mean by youth center? - They mean like...

A sport center or a gym!

- Really? - Yes

Check this out! Isn't that Hamdi Kata?

Yes!

Do as I do!

Well, let's talk to him!

First and foremost is focusing!

You should focus!

You have to put your full strength in this hand

then, you get ready...

and you hit the...

What are you doing, Hamdi? Wouldn't you stop these action moves?

No... Hello! Welcome, mayor! What a nice surprise, sir!

- How are you, Hamdi? - I'm fine! Kids, go to the swamp to shower!

Go! Welcome, sir!

You really honored the center! When you step inside here...

- the place gets so bright and I see a light... - Hamdi! Hamdi, stop it!

Stop this nonsense! Stop this nonsense, please!

That's too much! You caused me a headache!

I'm looking for American football players I'm making a team

- You mean folk art! We have here... - No, Hamdi! Hamdi, I'll explain to you!

He means an American football team

- I know it - Do you have players?

Of course! If we don't have we'll got new players for you, mayor!

- But, excuse me, what is this sport? - Why did you say that you know it, then?

You were so confident! How do you know it?

In this game, there are players wearing helmets...

running and holding a ball that looks like a Cucumis melo

I knew it! The game where players beat the hell of each others

- Exactly! - Actually, it's not available in the center now

but we send a request and told them that we want it here

we're working on the papers now and it's nearly done

and they'll install it here in May 1st

What would they install? I'm not talking about a water pump, Hamdi

I said I want... listen, forget it all!

Do you have someone who can play this game?

A body building champion a weight lifting champion

a gymnastic champion a water ballet champion, or any champion!

- I want a champion! - Do you mean champions? You didn't say that!

- We have a lot of champions here - I just want one!

We have Africa's world champion in weight lifting

he's from here! From Al Mazareeta!

- And he's still here? - Of course!

Captain Tawfiq!

Captain Tawfiq!

Wow! Look at his body!

- Where is he? - That's him!

- Do you mean that cowboy? - He's amazing! He's amazing!

This is Captain Tawfiq, guys!

He's the world champion in 74

and he was the champion for 3 years in a row

in 74, 75, and 76

Are you sure that it was 1974? or was it 1874?

- I'm not sure about this - It must be in 1874!

- Shake the mayor's hand, Captain! - How are you, mayor?

I'm a big fan! I'm a big fan!

Go and have a rest, old man! Go and rest!

God bless you! I want someone alive, Hamdi! Alive!

He's alive and breathing!

Listen to me, sir anything living creature will do

- Tawfiq! Tawfiq! - I don't want him! I don't want him!

I don't want Tawfiq! I want someone younger

Why didn't you say that from the beginning?

- Do want a young boy? A cup! - Yes, I want a young boy

He said a cup instead of a cub let's get out of here, man! We're wasting time

Johnny, be patient!

I really trust Hamdi Kata... what is this?

Shikabala!

This is Shikabala! He's the future

he can bounce the ball for 3 hours straight and never gets bored

Bounce it, boy let the mayor see what you got

Of course he can bounce it as long as he wants he's holding it with a net!

Darling, don't listen to this crazy man and go with your friends to the swamp, go!

Why did you say that? I'm his coach!

He's young but he's promising!

Yes, that was clear!

Who is that man?

Who is that giant?

Yes! This is Captain Manaa!

He's the Discus throw world champion

- And where is the discus? - I took it from him!

I let him train without it because he made a lot of trouble with it

when he throws it, it either gets out of the center

or breaks a window or...

- he is the one who shoot down Lockerbie's plane - Oh my God!

Ok, ok, I want Manaa! I want him!

of course! Anything you want, mayor!

I'll give you Manaa and Tawfiq as an offer

- Captain Tawfiq! - I don't want Tawfiq!

Go, old man! I don't want Tawfiq!

If you want to give me something with Manna give me the discus

I won't take Tawfiq!

He's an old poor man! And he was a champion

- Don't break his heart - Don't play with my emotions, Hamdi!

Please, he'll help you! He won't cost you a lot just his food, drink and cigarettes!

And medical treatment and catheterization I know that he'll cost me a lot!

For your information, sir...

this man was raised well and fed on animal ghee

so, his health is better than mine and yours

and he's also an expert!

He's a poor man, take him!

- He's old and this game is all about hitting... - Believe me, he'll work

if he broke down, give him to me and I'll take him and give you someone else

Ok, alright, I'll take Manaa and Tawfiq

- but give me his box and charger - What?

Look, man, I prepared a more than professional playfield

by the way, yesterday, Hagras and I worked so hard to paint the layouts

You always like to exaggerate the efforts you make!

You did nothing, you just got some paint and made the layouts on a field...

a poor peasant has been working on his entire life

Ok, it was easy! In fact, we also put 2 goals! Look!

Ok, go and stand with the team! You forgot who you are

your position is underneath me! I'm the coach! Stand there!

- Come on, Guys! Stand up! - What are you doing? Are you crazy?

How dare you give them orders? You'll stand behind!

Go and stand behind them! Stand there!

What are you doing? Are you crazy? Are you copying me?

- No! No, no! - Do you think you can take my place?

Go there! I'm the coach!

No one gives orders but me!

Anyway, I'll give you a brief explanation

This game is between 2 teams

the team with the ball

they will do their best to cross the other part of the field

and take the ball to the other half

ok?

Once you get there, you score 6 points

if you would throw it between those 2 sticks which is the goal area

you'll score an additional point

and thus, 7 points

I think it's easy and a very interesting game

well, do you have a question?

- Do you have a question? Ok, ask! - What's the meaning of sticks?

- Do you know the meaning of points? - What?

Ok! You know nothing at all!

Well, let's do some fitness exercises, guys!

Stop!

Yes! Come on!

Great! Great, Mr. Tawfiq!

20 meter in 2 hours and 45 minutes great!

No, no, I'm tired!

- That's too much! - Stars of the future!

Field's monsters!

We're now done with fitness exercises!

We're done! No more fitness exercises!

Now, we can play real American football

come on, get up! Get up!

Stand in line, come on!

Come on, monsters!

Come on, come on! Come on, let's go! Line up! Line up!

Line up with your friend!

Come here, Manaa, Come! Manaa is a good boy!

He'll make us all proud! Stand here!

Look, since you're a discus throw champion and so...

I'll toss the ball to you

and Hagras will run

I want you to throw it above all players and give it to him

so, he can score a goal, ok?

Come on!

Ready!

Steady!

go!

Why did you do that, Manaa?

Why did you do that, Manaa? I wanted the ball to stay inside the field!

And inside the city!

Go get us another ball!

Easy, keep it inside the field!

Hagras will go so throw it to him

come on!

Ready!

Steady!

go!

What's wrong with you, man?

go!

- Ouch! - I hope you're!

- Come on, Hagras! - Ouch!

Easy, easy!

- I hope you're fine, Mr. Johnny! - Ouch, guys, don't exaggerate

- it's just a minor injury! - Put coffee on it!

- What? - Put coffee on it!

What coffee? He's not injured!

Listen, Mr. Johnny put a toothpaste on it!

Are you going to talk nonsense? What's with the nonsense, guys!

What's with the medical nonsense?

Since I came here and everyone is talking nonsense!

If anything happens they say boil guava peel...

put "AXE BRAND" on the injury what even is this "AXE BRAND" thing?

- Ouch! - Excuse me, sir!

I didn't mean to!

Don't worry, Manaa don't worry!

But, man...

we're not going to fight a war it's just a game, take it easy

Guys, guys this's all nonsense talk!

We're going to take a 10 minutes break...

and he's fine, by the way don't worry!

- Have you lost your mind? - I know he's, what's going on?

- I'm the coach! I'm the coach! - Ouch!

I'm the only one who can give a break!

I'm fine, guys take 5, everyone!

Here is some coffee put it on the injury whenever you want to

- Can I put Nesquik? No, never mind! - What?

Come on, guys, take a break I think I'll get humiliated, for real!

- I found out something, man! - What?

Our team is useless!

Look at the full half of the glass, dude we have Manaa...

he's a good player and he'll get better with practice

we have Fazzaa he's fast and strong!

- That's it - Ok, we have two

how about the rest of the team?

We'll find them, we found those two so we'll find the others!

- Tell you what, Johnny - What?

Are you going to play against America for real?

Yes, America, for real!

Because it's so weird that America will come all the way here to play against Al Mazareeta!

No, I'll explain to you! We're not going to play against the American team...

we're going to play against Johnny's university team

By the way, it's a really strong team!

It's the strongest team in Texas!

Yes, so it's a real American team with American players, right?

- Yes, that's right! - Then, you're playing against America!

I hope you win and beat them I really hope so!

And where will this game be broadcasted?

On Al Mazareeta TV, MAZ TV

but if you want to watch it live then come watch it!

- Seriously? Can I come? - Sure!

Mrs. Hadeya!

Yes, Baazaq, how are you?

I'm fine, do you need anything?

You came at the right time I want four gas canisters

Four, ok!

What? Who's he?

This's Baazaq, Mrs. Waheda's son who delivers gas canisters

- His name is Baazaq! - By the way, he might be useful!

- Useful with what, man? - Please, let him join your team, he's kind...

- but he's not that smart - What do you mean?

They say when he was a baby he fell right on his brain!

- Oh! - So, he's retarded a little

I'll go get the money to pay him when he gets back...

tell him to put the canisters in the kitchen

It's so hard to fall right on your brain do you know what this means?

It means that the first thing to touch the ground is your brain!

- He's probably retarded! - Oh, man!

Oh, my God!

- Four canisters! - Man, he's in our team, without question!

I was about to say the same thing!

- Tell you what, Thomas, Tom, Thomas - What?

- Thomas, go tell him, he's in! - What?

- Go, tell him! - No, of course I won't!

Am I stupid? If I talk to him he might hit me with a canister!

You go, haven't you heard her say he's not that smart?

Maybe it's a good thing he's big his brain will be big too!

- Go, just go, tell him, go! - No, tell you what, it non of my business

- if you want to tell him, you go! - I honestly can't guarantee...

I can't guarantee... listen, let's talk to him from a far!

- Yes! - Baatar!

- Baazaq! - Baazaq!

Baazaq!

- Go and put the canisters in the kitchen! - No!

I won't until Mrs. Hadeya say so!

- Ok! - No, she asked me to tell you...

- to go and put the canisters in the kitchen - No!

I won't until Mrs. Hadeya say so!

- Enough! - She asked me to tell you...

to go and put the canisters in the kitchen!

Oh, my God!

Good boys!

Well done!

You beasts!

Stop!

Gather around, come, come!

No, you stay there!

Ok!

Listen, guys give me the ball!

Good boy, Good boy!

Listen, guys we'll play a game called Fishermen

it means a fish dish

Yes! He means fishermen...

as you know, he doesn't speak Arabic very well Mr. Johnny as you know...

Are you trying to be smart? Go over there...

or I swear I'll kick you out!

As you wish, sir!

It's called Fishermen as I said...

this game strengthen the player's ability to catch!

I want you all to be great catchers! I want you all to be catchers!

Listen, guys I'll simply throw this ball...

at anyone of you...

if his teeth fell out when it hit him, then he's weak!

sissy boy and I'll kick him out!

I don't need him!

But if he catches it!

Then he'll have an egg!

Come on, guys stand by!

I'm an egg! I'm an egg!

- Egg, egg! - Man, come here!

- You stupid! - Egg!

The egg should be inside the game, not outside!

What am I seeing, man? Baazaq is here!

What am I seeing? Ok, then...

tell him to take of his cloak so he won't fall down when he plays, go!

Tell who, man? Of course not! Am I crazy?

- Come on, go and tell him! - No, of course not, you tell him!

Man, I'm the coach, you're my Vizier you should take care of this silly stuff

I make good players and do something helpful to humankind, come on, go, go!

Come with me, then!

- You need Johnny with everything! - It's ok!

What's up, man?

He wants to talk to you!

Listen, man we're forming a team...

we're playing a football match and you'll join us...

and the team we have rehearsals and matches...

so you have to take off for theses things!

- Explain well! Explain, you stupid! - Your cloak, don't you want to join us?

I'm sure you do, right? But if you don't then it's fine!

What? You want me to play with you!

- You'll let me play with you! You will! - Yes!

You will! You want me to play with you!

- Johnny! Johnny! - You'll let me play!

Enough, enough! Calm down! Calm down!

- Are you happy? - Yes!

- You're in La La Land! So cute! - Of course!

- Come with me, come! Come with daddy - Of course!

- Let me play with you! Let me! - Ok! Ok!

Listen, guys we'll split...

throw me the ball!

Good boy!

- Baazaq, I... - Yes!

- I have a ball... - Yes!

- I'll try to go over there! - Are you going to be late?

It depends on the traffic so cute!

Focus, Baazaq and stop talking!

Listen, I'll take the ball and go there...

all these people will try to stop me!

Your job is to stop them from stopping me!

I don't get it!

- Aren't we friends, Baazouq! - Yes!

They want to hit me!

They want to kill me!

Stay like this, stay! Listen!

When I go, they will try to stop me kill them!

Smash them, this's great! I'll take Fazzaa and Manaa

and I'll take...

who are you? Come here, come!

- My team is ready, now! - What do you mean?

- No, that's not fair! - No, it's fair!

- Of course, not fair, you have more players - Of course it's fair, dear!

I'm the coach and I'll kick you out, still not fair?

- Of course it's fair! - Come on, Manaa, come on!

Take a Kick-off mode lower your head like this!

- Oh, my God! - Mr. Johnny!

No, no! Come with me, come, come, come!

Come, come, come! Calm down! Calm down! Calm down!

Calm down! I told you to stop them not execute them!

Calm down, it's just a game!

It's not war!

Come on, good boy!

Come on, you take a kick-off mode, all of you!

- Come on - Ok, ok!

Come on!

Mr. Johnny!

Did I ask you to do this?

- Did I ask you to do this? - Stay away from me!

- Oh, my God! - Is he in a rage?

Hello!

Haven't you seen Fazzaa, woman?

- No, I haven't! - What? Did he vanish?

- When was the last time you saw him today? - What?

What are you watching, woman?

Are you going to be just like those crazy people that Johnny gathered?

Yes, Kabeer what do you want? I'm all ears!

When was the last time you saw that dump named Fazzaa, today?

- I haven't seen him all day! - What?

Why did he disappear?

Maybe he's training with Johnny because the match is getting closer

- Did he join Johnny? - Yes, didn't you know?

- Fazzaa joined the team! - What an amazing news!

Fazzaa Joined the team! I'm thrilled! No, I'll go congratulate him myself!

Trill out, woman! Trill out, buffalo!

What am I a charity?

I'm feeding this donkey and growing him up

- so he burn it all in the team - Don't get upset, Kabeer

They're going to play against America and probably win!

Johnny wins against America! If he does, with what?

- With silliness and stupidity! - What, Kabeer?

- Aren't you going to cheer for them? - What cheering?

Why are you so excited, woman?

Hadeya, don't you dare have any benefit or any link to do with that matter!

Do you hear me?

"Fazzaa joined the team!"

Amazing, amazing, amazing!

Amazing!

Amazing!

How are you man? you were great

look, you have to do it this way, like this

how? Yes! Exactly!

- Your mother must be thrilled with you! - What's going on?

Are you hiding? I can see you!

I can see you however you go, right or left

you're like a goat, God bless you!

- Come here, man! - Come with me, come!

Don't be scared, don't be scared I'm the mayor! dude, I'm the mayor! Come on!

Baazaq is also with you! I hope you enjoy!

Now, the idiots team is complete!

- Please don't let him electrify me! - Calm down! I'm the mayor!

- Yes! - Come, sweet boy!

Come, buffalo!

As you wish, sir!

I won't let you talk to any of my team members this way!

- I'm the coach here! - Don't think that you're doing something great!

You gathered a few animals and named them a team!

You're keeping them away from their jobs farmlands and making them take off their clothes

You're standing in your underwear, fool! Your underwear!

- It's the rehearsals outfit! - Are you talking back at me?

- Rehearsals outfit! Do you believe this? - Of course!

You're ignorant you don't understand what we're doing!

We're going to play against America and we'll win!

You won't! The whole world couldn't do it but you can!

- Al Mazareeta! - If everyone thinks like you, we'll never win!

Stop giving us a negative energy stay positive!

I mean, cheer for us, play with us!

Are you crazy, man?

I play with you? Do you call this playing?

Holding each other and touching each other!

What's wrong with you? What game is this?

Why didn't you tell me, Kabeer that you're so scared?

You're right! Only men play this game!

What did you say, dude?

I mean, this game is tough!

You can gather 30 team with this one and I'll beat them on my own!

I can eat you, all, like food!

What a team!

Go, put something on! You want to face America with your underwear!

Minion! Minion! You have no personality!

Come on, guys let's move on!

Hurry up, Hagras, little faster

Go a little farther, Baazaq, Baazaq!

Go a little farther faster, Hagras, faster, Hagras, come on!

Ok!

- Do you think they got here? - Yes, they're here I just talked to the driver

he told me, they have arrived the village they'll be here in five minutes

- what are we going to do without Fazzaa? - No problem!

Don't worry, I know how to get him back I have my ways!

There they are! They're here!

Johnny!

Who are they?

Who are they?

Subtitled by: eArabization