Original subtitles

"Boy!"

"Boy!"

"I came home and brightened the place"

"Get up, lower the bass and increase the beat"

"Celebrate my arrival with fire clapping, and ululations"

- "I am El Kabeer" - "He is El Kabeer"

"Money, arms, power and an army of 3000 men''

"A hundred times stronger than a bear I roar like a lion"

"As proud as an eagle sly like a fox"

"Mix all of these together and you will have El Kabeer"

- "A dangerous mix" - "A dangerous mix"

"I drank camel milk as a kid not formula or juice"

"That's why I am tough, rough and dangerous"

"Professional PlayStation gamer and can beat any small kid"

- "Or a big kid" - "Or a big kid"

"I can rule any people no matter how many"

"It doesn't matter if they are rich or poor"

"Even if they are scholars, illiterates, or college kids"

"They have to obey me or they will disappear''

"Objection!"

"Yeah"

"Yeah"

"Come on! I really love this country like the fat kid loves the cake"

"And I'll be the new Mayor please just give yourself a break"

"You can't even battle me one on one Mr. Fake"

"My rap is like an ocean while your rap is like a lake"

"Please talk to me in Arabic if you don't mind brother"

"Don't mimic Eminem 50 Cent or Soulja Boy"

"If we compared our Rap to the breeds of dogs"

"mine would be Pitbull and yours will be a stray called Roy"

- "Listen, El Kabeer" - "No, you shut up and listen"

"I am a knight and can lift heavier than you can"

"No way you can beat me no matter how hard you try"

"Even in the Rap challenge I'll always have the final word"

"An apple tastes bitter when you eat it after chocolate"

''End of story!''

"Boy!"

"Episode 10"

"Kate!"

- "Yes?" - "you are not afraid to fly anymore?"

"you are thinking of your little stone cottage?"

"It's on a hillside next to a beautiful vineyard"

"But that's not really what I'm thinking about"

"What are you thinking about?"

"You!"

"And I am thinking you should not be flying anywhere"

- "I shouldn't?" - "In fact, I'm sure of it"

- "I'm thinking..." - What's wrong, Johnny?

- "I want you..." - It's such a moving scene!

- It's touchy! - Ok, but I guess that you're exaggerating!

We've seen this movie many times before!

- What happened to you this time? - I don't know!

- I don't feel well! - You don't feel well, right?

- You... are you sick? - No!

I feel I'm Mr. Lonely most of the time

I also feel that I'm Mr. Tired most of the time!

What nonsense are you saying now, Johnny?

Where did this come from? How could you be Mr. Lonely? We're together 24/7!

It's actually my fault that I shared this with you! You teenager boy!

Ok, don't get mad about it! Tell me, what's wrong?

Thomas, I haven't been in a relationship for a year now!

Where is my woman? Where is she?

I really miss spending time with a girl...

so that we talk and laugh together I want to enjoy her presence!

- I want to fall in love, Thomas! - Oh! You want to fall in love!

- Ok, do that! - How would I?

Women are everywhere, man! Do you know what?

Do like I do, enjoy your time! I spend most of my time on Facebook...

- and I'm enjoying my time this way! - I don't want to have an online relationship

I want to fall in love with a real girl that I can see and be around!

So that we can enjoy a pillow fight or take a day use together!

I want us to enjoy our time together! I want to feel alive!

Yes, I got it! Ok, why don't you search for a nice girl in the village?

Do you mean in Al Mazareeta? Would I have a pillow fight here? Come on!

Why not, man! Did you give it a try?

You didn't look for a nice girl here do it and you'll find her!

- You just have to put it in mind! - That's what any mother would say!

"You just have to put it in mind!" That's what moms say!

- It's only nonsense and I know that! - Take my advice this time!

Shall I?

Although you're imitating me and doing this move...

I'll replay to you with your moms' style and say...

"I'm begging you!"

"A 1000 mile journey starts with a..." "let's start the hunt''

We've been having caraway tea for 2 hours now!

We didn't even see one girl!

Johnny, calm down! What's the rush? By the way...

many pretty girls have passed by but you were too picky, to be honest!

What are you saying? They're all... look! They're wearing black clothes only!

They're not wearing anything but black clothes! What details?

But you don't know what's underneath those black clothes, my friend!

That's the problem! I want to know what's underneath them!

Ok, why don't you be patience? I feel like we...

look!

She's so cute!

Her face is... what's that?

It seems that only her upper half is cute!

- But she needs to lose about 85 kgs! - She's a little fat, right?

And as for the way she walks I feel like she's walking heavily and slowly

- what is this walk called? I don't know! - It doesn't matter!

Ok, but actually... listen, Johnny...

look at that hot girl over there!

- Oh, my God! Listen! - What?

- Ask Zuhair how she is! Hurry! Come on! - Zuhair!

- Zuhair! Come here! - What can I do for you, sir?

Come here now! Listen...

who's that woman who has a donkey?

- That's Om Salah! - Om Salah!

Is that her name or does she has a son called Salah?

Salah is her son! Her son is called Salah!

- He's sitting over there! Salah! - Yes?

Nothing! Nothing! Have a seat!

She has a son called Salah, man and his dad looks Vietnamese!

Johnny, listen!

"Wait and you'll get what you wish for!"

- "Be patient and you'll be rewarded" - Once again?

You're doing it again and talking like a mother! "Be patient and you'll be rewarded"

all that is nonsense! Like: "A cat would never eat its babies"!

Believe me! Believe...

Oh, my God!

Look!

Ok!

This one has... a nice face and...

- let's take a closer look! - Let's go!

- How much are those? What? - 7 EGP

Why do they cost 7 EGP you crook?

- If you don't like the price, don't buy! - What? Are you saying I shouldn't buy them?

I'll beat you up so hard in front of everyone, you fraud!

- Calm down, woman! Don't be so rude! - What did you call me?

How can you call me so, you moron?

I won't buy anything!

- Is there a problem? - No! There isn't!

Come on, let's go!

I told you that I wouldn't find a nice girl here that was the cutest girl in the whole village!

That was the cutest girl around! She doesn't actually need a man in her life!

Alright then let's get back home

You can go home, Thomas! Go! I want to stay alone a little

- Let's go, Johnny! - I want...

Yes! You're feeling lonely, right?

Just go!

- Hi, Thomas! - Hi, Ashly!

Thomas, where's Johnny? I haven't seen him since the morning

He's looking for his dream girl

- What are you talking about? - I'll explain it to you

Johnny has been feeling like Mr. Lonely and Mr. Isolated...

and he's seeking Ms. Tenderness! He's in a weird condition!

That was of no use, by the way!

- Where is Johnny? - I don't know! I left him 2 hours ago...

in the village looking for a girl to love or something!

Johnny!

What is this? What happened to you?

Oh!

You wouldn't guess what happened to me! You wouldn't!

Ok, why are your clothes wet?

I fell in love so, I got my clothes wet!

No! Did you really find her?

It's her! She's the one! She's the one!

Tell us! Tell us everything!

Where did you meet and how? Tell us all theses details!

I'll tell you the whole story!

"While I was taking a walk..."

"among the goods, the jars..."

"and the simple good people of the village..."

"guess what?"

"I looked up..."

"and I found her!"

"Her face was beaming like a full moon! Indeed!"

"She was glowing among them white clothes..."

"that were making a beautiful contrast..."

"with the blue sky!"

"And that was absolutely harmonious..."

"with her black hair"

"I wonder is her name Alaa..."

"or Safaa?"

"But before I know the answer..."

"she poured some water over me!"

"What a nonsense!"

That's all! I got back home...

but my heart is still there with her!

Wow! This is great! Amazing!

What happened, Mr. Johnny? Why did you get so wet like that?

I just told them the whole story!

I won't tell it once again now it's such a long story!

long story? Tell me what happened to you?

Johnny fell in love and found his dream girl here, in Al Mazareeta!

It's good news! How wonderful!

I'm so happy to know that Mr. Johnny will marry a girl from our village!

What are you saying? Who said anything about getting married?

I just met her how would we get married?

I didn't get to know her or touch her hands!

We didn't go on a date or run together in the fields!

What date? And what fields?

That only happens in your country, America!

- But here, you have to marry her immediately! - I don't care about any of that!

These are the traditions here, Mr. Johnny! And you should follow them

By the way who's that lucky girl?

What are you saying? Are you presenting a TV show, Hadeya?

She's just a girl that I saw and liked! But she was so beautiful!

Where does she live?

Somewhere... I don't remember exactly where it is

there was a roof and she was hanging the laundry

and there was some Egyptian pets in that street...

a duck, a goose a small goat and a hamster

Just find out where she lives and who her father is...

I'll immediately ask for her hand on your behalf

She won't give up! She just won't!

How would I explain it to them? Are you crazy?

"If you don't want to help me, it's fine..."

"but don't blame me later''

"nothing is guaranteed here didn't you said that to me before?"

"I told you that so you'd get back to your job...''

"not to let you get me in a big trouble! You can leave!"

I wouldn't get married this way, man! No way!

- Alright then, forget about the whole thing! - I can't!

I can't! You didn't see that girl! She was absolutely charming!

She's got that Oriental beauty that you see in Orientalists' paintings...

illustrating girls in positions like this and this with a bunch of grapes...

That's enough! Since you mentioned grapes then, you should go straight to her!

Do you want me to assault her? What are you? An Animal?

It's love I'm talking about and it's not a physical thing!

Johnny, you misunderstood me!

I meant that you should wait for her until she leaves her house...

then, you go talk to her & tell her you want her to be your girlfriend

How smart! Do you want me to stop her when she leaves her house...

in front of the coffee shop that is full of tough men...

who have RBG's, at least?

and I tell her then "hey, baby, let's go somewhere"?

Do you know what will happen to me? They'll cut me into pieces!

Those people don't care about the mayor the 911 or the FBI!

- What are you going to do? - I don't know!

But that's not how I would get married! It's my final decision!

Ok! Hold on! I like this part! It's so beautiful! It's so beautiful!

"That spring... spring rose..."

- Oh, my God! - "Let's lie down..."

"I'm sorry! I love you!"

"Will you marry me?"

- "To apologize..." - "You can hit your head against the wall!"

Oh! Oh!

I just came up with such an amazing idea!

- "Your lover, Johnny! I love you so much!" - Stop right here!

She'll be surprised & amazed once she sees it from her balcony

For sure, my friend!

But wait? Are we going to keep standing here? When will she come?

We need something to make her come out

We didn't think about this she really needs a motivation

I have an idea! Listen...

in all of the movies and series even cartoon...

when the man wants his girl to come out he throws a stone

and she always comes out the mom or dad never come out

- Nice idea, ok - Hold this

- Is she a heavy sleeper? - Use a bigger stone!

- Oh my god! - "I love you so much"

- Who's outside? - Who's that?

I don't know but he has a deep voice and he looks like Hulk and apparently he'll kill us

Who are you? Who's outside?

What's this? I can see you you son of an idiot!

You're big as a wall yet you're throwing rocks and stones!

Go to hell both of you!

and then I threw a stone which broke the window and hit someone inside by accident

we heard screaming and he got so nervous that he lost the balloons

after few seconds a man that looks like the Hippo opened the door

started cursing us and shouting at us so we ran away

You should thank God that no one saw you

Thank God he only curse us only, he could've caught us & biffed us, he looked so violent

Who dared to curse you, Mr. Johnny?

I can't believe this! Look how old he is and his ears are like a satellite dish!

No, I mean what I said! Who insulted you?

- He's the father of the girl that Johnny loves - What?

He loves her!

I'm so happy to hear this!

You're now all grown up and falling in love and want to get married, Mr. Johnny

Get married! Who said anything about marriage in the first place?

- Don't you love her? - Yes

Then you have you marry her

No, just because I love her doesn't mean I have to marry her

There're a lot of things we have to do before marriage

I know that, I know that

Aren't talking about talking to her parents and buying the furniture...

- the pottery and all those things, I know that - You don't know anything, you're an idiot!

Well, who's this girl that you have your eyes & intention on?

I don't have intention I just saw her while she was hanging laundry

I meant to say, who is her father?

I don't who exactly her father is but I kind of know where she lives

you know the cafe? 2 blocks away to the right, there's a chicken slaughterhouse

chicken slaughterhouse that kills the chicken and waxes them

Does the house has a green door?

- Green, exactly! - Yes, yes, yes

- it's Abbas Al Bahtiti's house - What's that? Do you know him?

Yes, he's a poor man...

- he has some land he farms and lays - What's that? Why doesn't he lay in his house?

- No, lay means that he plants them - Listen, he's free to do what he wants

But he's a man may God protect us from him

- Is he a hunted man? - No, his eye slashes the stone

and the girl who was hanging the clothes is his daughter

- What's her name? - Her name...

I don't... wait... yes, yes...

Salaa, Sa... Sa... Sabha, Sabha

Oh my! Did you hear? Sabha! It sounds fresh!

Well, we want to do something what can we do?

You should do as the customs say go to her dad and ask for her hand

if her father knew about what is going on here

it will be a disaster a huge disaster!

Ok, you can say it once, I got it

apparently, there's no other solution

- I have to ask for her hand in marriage - What? Have you lost your mind?

You haven't even talked to her yet

So What, guys I mean logically, she's a good girl

decent, I have my eyes on her

that's enough, listen, guys I made my mind! I love her and I'll marry her

This marriage will happen over my dead body what does Johnny want from me?

- Does he want to upset me? - Why is that, Kabeer?

Johnny wants to get married in a traditional way

And he couldn't find another girl but Abbas Al Bahtiti's daughter to marry?

- What's wrong with Abbas Al Bahtiti's daughter? - Nothing but I meant her dad

he's a jealous and envious man

Is he going to marry the man or his daughter?

He will marry the girl and I will be stuck with her father!

he will visit us everyday and sit in my house

and he'll stare at everything that come and leaves the house, we don't need to be poor

It's ok ,Kabeer we should be a little patient with her father

since there's nothing wrong with girl and the guy wants her then it's settled

- What do you want from me now? - To go with him and ask for her hand

I have nothing to do with that who plays with fire will get burned

What do you mean, Kabeer? You won't go with him!

This isn't right! What would people say about us?

Let them say whatever they want do you want me to go there, girl...

so he would look at me and envy me then I would return on a stretcher?

- God forbid, Kabeer - That doesn't help!

Did you forget what happened to that boy Amjad he bought a new goat...

then he walked in front of Al Bahtiti he just walked in front of him

he brought her into the corral and then it kicked him and broke his pelvis

You have to go, Kabeer

- Do you mean that he should go... - I'm not going, End of discussion

Fine, Kabeer Do you know something...?

let's let Johnny go to deal with her father and we'll find many solution for the engagement

Do whatever you want

Is this the house you told me about?

Then why would I be knocking it, Uncle Jabir? Am I playing around?

Listen, Mr. Johnny! I need you to sit comfortably when we go inside

and don't approve on everything that this man says, no

we have to negotiate with him so he doesn't think that you're a soft guy

We didn't go inside yet and I really really, regret bringing you with me

- and the hell are you holding? - A bunch of bananas

Were we supposed to come and visit the man empty handed or what?

Bananas! Bananas, Uncle Jabir? Are we visiting a monkey?

- You could have brought chocolate or roses! - This's what I found

- Is the house empty or what? - Yes, don't hit on the door, yes!

- The mayor! Welcome - Good morning

Welcome, welcome, come inside welcome, Uncle Jabir!

- Come in, welcome - Go inside

Welcome, welcome this way, sir

welcome, mayor welcome, Uncle Jabir

Welcome to my house I'm so happy to have you here

welcome, welcome have a seat, I'm so happy that you're here

here, brother, sit here

- You didn't have to do this, Uncle Jabir - You deserve it, Uncle Abbas

Those bananas look so good they must be from the mayor's garden

yesterday while I was walking I took a look at the garden...

I found that there're so many bananas and they looked so delicious that's so amazing

No, I got them from Khamis the fruit seller

and we got you five kilos and we paid five pounds per kilo

What? Is that for real? what a strange coincidence with number five!

That's so nice of you, Uncle Jabir we're so happy that you came to visit us

- Thanks man - Listen, Abbas!

We're here today to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage to the mayor, Johnny

The mayor wants to marry my daughter!

Why are you refusing already? What did we say wrong?

- Where do you know her from? - It's an amazing story!

- I was walking when I saw her... - What?

He meant to say that he asked about her and people told him that you're good people

so he was sure that there's no one better than Mr. Abbas to marry his daughter

- What do you think? - Does it need thinking?

who's better than the mayor to give our daughter to? It would be our honor!

Then it's settled congrats, Mr. Johnny! congratulation!

- What? Are we done? - Of course!

- Can I express my happiness now? - Yes!

Let's talk about the marriage payments now

No, let's take it step by step, Uncle Jabir

we'll drink some juice and wait for my wife to get back then we'll decide on everything

- we're so happy to have you here - I'm happy to be here as well

Welcome, welcome

I can't believe how beautiful this is

she's very kind and polite

which one of them is his wife and which one is his daughter?

Thank you, Uncle Jabir

- My wife is here, so now we can talk - She's his wife!

Listen, Mr. mayor we're not greedy people

we'll take 50000 pound as a dowry

What 50000 pound are you talking about Mr. Abbas? Why 50000 pound? No!

- This is too much! - We'll help with the wedding preparations

- It's enough, Uncle Jabo! Enough! I accept - Ok

the apartment and its paint are on the groom

the bedroom, the dining room and the saloon are on the groom

the chandeliers and the carpets are on the groom

Yes, yes, yes

the electrical appliances just the simple things

I mean the fridge the washing machine and the cooker...

the DVD and receiver are on the groom

What's this? What's going on, Abbas? This is too much!

What is left for you to bring?

We'll bring the thistles the spoons, the cups and the dishes

the mops, the dandelions, the wipes the sheets, we'll buy all these things!

let's not forget something, sir that fortunately El Kabeer Awi...

- had left you a lot of properties - He'd left him 55 thousand pound...

and 5 investment certificate

Uncle Jabo, you noticed there's a relationship between you and number five?

Listen, man! I'm ok with everything you said

but we need to finish this in 5 minutes

Yes, the gold

we want 6 venetian golden twisted bracelet, a snake and a full set

I know the golden twisted bracelet...

and I've seen the snake here twice...

the first time it was hunting me in the field then I saw Hadeya wearing it as gold

but what is this full set exactly? Is it an ointment?

No, we'll find it at the jewelry store and don't worry...

we'll come with you and we'll refer to what we want

If we'll find it at the jewelry store, then it's fine

Why didn't El Kabeer come with you? We really miss him!

- He's busy with the life concerns as you know - Ok, it's fine

tomorrow we'll have lunch at your house

and we'll set the engagement date and say hello to him

Ululate!

Subtitled by: eArabization