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1
00:00:06,090 --> 00:00:08,090
Oh, yeah, all right.
Bases loaded.
2
00:00:08,590 --> 00:00:10,590
Mo Vaughn
is at the plate.
Yeah.
3
00:00:10,590 --> 00:00:12,100
(bat strikes ball)
4
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:13,600
(both hollering)
5
00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:15,100
Grand salami!
6
00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:18,600
Ung, ungawa,
Red Sox got the power.
7
00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:21,100
Uh! Uh! Uh!
8
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:24,610
What's the score?
What's the score?
9
00:00:24,610 --> 00:00:26,610
4-3 Sox, Vaughn just hit
a grand slam.
10
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:29,610
Ung, ungawa,
Red Sox got the power.
11
00:00:29,610 --> 00:00:30,610
Uh!
12
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,120
Oh, oh.
13
00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:36,620
Oh! The ball just
beaned that poor guy
14
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,120
in the bleachers.
15
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,120
Oh, great, they're
going to show it again.
16
00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:41,630
(gasping)
17
00:00:42,130 --> 00:00:44,630
That guy who got beaned
looks like Stuart.
18
00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:46,130
Your husband Stuart?
19
00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:47,130
Yeah!
20
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:50,130
Look, they're showing it again
in slow motion.
21
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:05,650
(screams)
Oh, it is Stuart!
22
00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,650
Oh, God, after seven years
of marriage
23
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:10,150
I would recognize
those klutzy reflexes anywhere.
24
00:01:10,650 --> 00:01:11,650
Casey, calm down.
25
00:01:11,650 --> 00:01:13,160
Don't tell her to calm down,
26
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:14,160
not after the way
he treated her.
27
00:01:14,660 --> 00:01:16,160
That deadbeat vanished
two years ago
28
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,160
with every dime I had.
29
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,660
Look, there he is...
30
00:01:18,660 --> 00:01:20,160
right there!
31
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,170
Oh, I could just get
my hands around his neck,
32
00:01:22,170 --> 00:01:26,170
I will kill you.
I will kill you!
33
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:27,670
Casey, I don't know
what you did there,
34
00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:29,670
but keep it up--
I think you unscrambled HBO.
35
00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:31,670
Brian, come on, you're
taking me to Boston.
36
00:01:31,670 --> 00:01:33,180
(chuckling):
You know...
37
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:35,680
there's a way
to ask for a favor,
38
00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:38,180
and there's a way to ask.
39
00:01:38,180 --> 00:01:40,180
You're right.
40
00:01:42,690 --> 00:01:45,690
Brian, would you kindly
fly me to Boston
41
00:01:45,690 --> 00:01:49,190
so I can murder my
rat bastard husband?
42
00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:50,690
See, was that so hard?
43
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,700
Hey, Scarpacci.
44
00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:02,710
How would you like
to earn some extra money?
45
00:02:02,710 --> 00:02:04,710
I know what this is about.
46
00:02:04,710 --> 00:02:08,210
You saw me take that Happy Meal
out of the trash.
47
00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:14,720
Listen, that kid just took
one bite and threw it away.
48
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:15,720
Look, here's the deal.
49
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,720
A cruise ship is going
to dock off the island
50
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,220
for a couple of days.
51
00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:22,730
It is going to be crawling with
elderly widows and divorcees.
52
00:02:22,730 --> 00:02:25,230
They're going to need a few
good men for some chitchat
53
00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:26,230
and some dancing.
54
00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:27,730
There's one problem:
Huh?
55
00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:29,730
I don't know how to dance.
56
00:02:30,230 --> 00:02:31,230
What are you talking about?
57
00:02:31,230 --> 00:02:33,240
My father didn't think
it was macho.
58
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:35,240
He said, "No son of mine
59
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,240
"is going to be dance around
like a sissy.
60
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,740
You go work with your Uncle Sal
after school."
61
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:40,740
What did your uncle do?
62
00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:42,750
He ran a girdle shop.
63
00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:45,750
Women's delicates.
64
00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:47,750
Some hosiery-- that was my idea.
65
00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:51,250
Lucky for you,
I am a great dancer.
66
00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:53,260
I'll teach you.
67
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,760
Listen, Roy, I don't
dance with men.
68
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,760
You're going to have
to learn somehow.
69
00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:01,260
I don't know what it is
about these old widows,
70
00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:03,270
but once they put
a husband in the ground,
71
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,770
it makes them want to mambo.
72
00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:08,770
ANTONIO:
Fay.
73
00:03:10,270 --> 00:03:11,780
Are you a good dancer?
74
00:03:12,780 --> 00:03:15,780
I knew this was coming.
75
00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:18,780
I've been wondering when you
were going to get up the nerve
76
00:03:18,780 --> 00:03:21,780
to make your move.
77
00:03:22,290 --> 00:03:25,290
Don't think I haven't noticed
those smoldering glances
78
00:03:25,290 --> 00:03:26,790
from across the terminal.
79
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:28,790
Uh, Fay...
(laughs)
80
00:03:29,290 --> 00:03:31,290
I must say, I'm quite flattered.
81
00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:34,300
And don't think that the thought
hasn't crossed my mind.
82
00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:36,800
But why risk a friendship
83
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:41,800
for a few nights of wild,
uninhibited passion?
84
00:03:44,310 --> 00:03:46,310
So... in answer
to your question,
85
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:50,810
yes, I do dance,
but, alas, not with you.
86
00:03:51,310 --> 00:03:55,820
Let's do us both a favor
and never speak of this again.
87
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:57,820
No problem.
88
00:04:04,330 --> 00:04:05,830
Casey, what happened?
Did you find Stuart?
89
00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:07,330
Yeah. I had the
little weasel
90
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,330
right in my hands,
but he got away.
91
00:04:10,330 --> 00:04:12,340
Helen, I got so close.
92
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:13,840
Look, I even got
a fistful of his hair.
93
00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:15,840
Stuart has hair now?
94
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,340
Plugs.
95
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,340
I could kill Stuart
for what he did to you.
96
00:04:19,340 --> 00:04:20,840
Killing is too good for him.
97
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:22,850
I would like to rip his heart
out with my bare hands.
98
00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:23,850
Cut it up.
99
00:04:23,850 --> 00:04:25,350
Yeah, and then, boil it up.
100
00:04:25,350 --> 00:04:26,850
And mash it up,
Yeah.
101
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:28,850
and mash it up
102
00:04:28,850 --> 00:04:33,360
till it's really, really...
mashed up.
103
00:04:34,860 --> 00:04:36,360
Oh, Brian,
104
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,860
I can't believe
I let that little worm
105
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:39,360
slip through my fingers.
106
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:40,860
I'm never going to have
a chance like that again.
107
00:04:43,870 --> 00:04:44,870
Well, you never know.
108
00:04:45,370 --> 00:04:46,370
Life's funny.
109
00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:49,370
Hello, Casey.
110
00:04:51,370 --> 00:04:52,880
Stuart.
111
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,880
I'll bet you didn't expect
to see me again.
112
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,380
No, I didn't.
113
00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,380
But I'm glad
you're here.
114
00:05:01,380 --> 00:05:02,390
Really?
115
00:05:02,390 --> 00:05:04,890
(grunts)
116
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,890
Stuart, I can't even
begin to describe
117
00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:12,900
how deeply you have hurt me.
118
00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:15,900
I am so...
filled with questions,
119
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,900
I don't even know
where to start.
120
00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:20,900
Okay, here's one.
121
00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:22,910
Where the hell's my money?!
122
00:05:22,910 --> 00:05:24,410
Plugs, plugs.
123
00:05:25,910 --> 00:05:28,910
Release the plugs,
and I will tell you
124
00:05:28,910 --> 00:05:30,410
what happened to the money.
125
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:34,920
All right, tell me!
126
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,920
There is no money.
127
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,420
(groaning)
128
00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:41,930
What do you mean,
there's no money?
129
00:05:42,430 --> 00:05:45,930
You mean that you just ran off
and spent every dime we had?
130
00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:48,930
No. We were broke
before I left you.
131
00:05:51,430 --> 00:05:52,940
My business collapsed.
132
00:05:52,940 --> 00:05:56,940
The bottom fell out
of the whole corn pad market.
133
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,940
What?!
134
00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:00,940
Podiatry has become
very advanced.
135
00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:02,450
They use lasers now.
136
00:06:02,450 --> 00:06:05,950
Corn pads just aren't "sexy"
anymore.
137
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,450
Wait. That doesn't explain
138
00:06:09,450 --> 00:06:10,950
where you've been
for the past two years.
139
00:06:11,450 --> 00:06:13,460
I mean, you just vanished
off the face of the Earth.
140
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:16,960
I was moving around
from one odd job to the next--
141
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,460
you know, waiting tables,
painting houses,
142
00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:22,970
being a guinea pig for
a dicey pharmaceutical company.
143
00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:28,470
For a few weeks in January,
I had breasts.
144
00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:30,470
Yeah, but what about the yacht?
145
00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:32,480
You must've gotten money
for that.
146
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:33,980
As soon as I hit open water,
147
00:06:33,980 --> 00:06:36,480
the Princess Casey was repo'd
by the bank.
148
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,480
Well, that explains
what happened to the money,
149
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,990
but it still doesn't explain
what happened to you.
150
00:06:42,990 --> 00:06:44,490
Why did you leave me?
151
00:06:44,490 --> 00:06:45,990
I was ashamed.
152
00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:47,490
I felt like a failure.
153
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:49,490
I couldn't provide for you
anymore.
154
00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:52,000
So you just ran away?
155
00:06:51,990 --> 00:06:54,000
I was afraid if I didn't
have any money
156
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,500
you'd stop loving me.
157
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:57,000
Oh, Stuart.
158
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,000
Oh, come on!
159
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,500
You really thought that's what
our relationship was about--
160
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,510
just the money
and the big house,
161
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:05,010
and the European vacations,
162
00:07:05,010 --> 00:07:08,510
and the omelet chef
on Sunday?
163
00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:11,010
I miss Raoul.
164
00:07:13,020 --> 00:07:15,520
No, wait, you ran away from me
at the baseball park.
165
00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:18,020
Why did you come back here?
166
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:20,520
When I was running away
from you,
167
00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:22,530
I realized two things:
168
00:07:22,530 --> 00:07:25,530
One: I'm really out of shape.
169
00:07:25,530 --> 00:07:27,030
(laughing)
170
00:07:29,030 --> 00:07:31,530
And two:
171
00:07:31,530 --> 00:07:34,040
you deserved to know the truth.
172
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:37,040
Casey, I'm sorry for all
the pain I caused you,
173
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,540
but don't worry.
174
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:40,540
I'm out of your life now
for good.
175
00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:42,550
The divorce papers
will be in the mail.
176
00:07:43,050 --> 00:07:44,050
Stuart, wait.
177
00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:47,550
Oh, my God!
178
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,050
Stuart?
179
00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:51,550
You slimeball!
180
00:07:52,050 --> 00:07:53,560
No! No!
181
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:58,560
Helen. Helen, don't...
don't hurt him!
182
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:00,060
Oh, you're right.
183
00:08:00,060 --> 00:08:02,570
I'll hold him;
you hurt him.
184
00:08:02,570 --> 00:08:04,070
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
185
00:08:04,070 --> 00:08:06,070
I don't want
to hurt him.
186
00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:07,570
He's my husband,
and I...
187
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,570
I'm giving him
another chance.
188
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,590
The coast is clear, Scarpacci.
189
00:08:25,590 --> 00:08:28,090
Come on out.
190
00:08:29,090 --> 00:08:30,090
Come on.
191
00:08:30,090 --> 00:08:33,100
I just hope nobody sees us.
192
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:35,600
Hey, look, if you
are going to work this cruise,
193
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,100
you have got to learn to dance.
194
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,100
Now, come on.
195
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,110
All right.
196
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,610
Show me what you got.
197
00:08:44,610 --> 00:08:46,110
I was looking at that book
you gave me,
198
00:08:46,110 --> 00:08:50,110
and I think... think I got
the fox-trot down.
199
00:08:52,620 --> 00:08:55,120
One, two... step together.
200
00:09:02,630 --> 00:09:04,630
One, two, step together.
201
00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:09,130
One, two, step together.
202
00:09:09,130 --> 00:09:10,630
(whistles)
203
00:09:10,630 --> 00:09:12,140
Come here.
(gentle music begins playing)
204
00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:13,640
No. I really
don't think...
205
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,640
I said... come here.
206
00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:26,150
One, two,
step together.
207
00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:28,650
Try to be a little lighter
on your feet.
208
00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:31,150
One, two, step...
step together.
209
00:09:31,150 --> 00:09:32,660
I said lighter
on your feet.
210
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,160
One, two, step...
211
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,660
Ow! Oh, oh...
212
00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:37,160
Sorry, Roy, I...
213
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,160
I... I... I can't do it.
(music stops)
214
00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:42,170
You know, you're still
the same scared little kid
215
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,670
who worked
in your uncle's girdle shop.
216
00:09:44,670 --> 00:09:46,670
You take that back.
217
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:48,670
Make me.
218
00:09:51,670 --> 00:09:53,680
(music begins playing)
219
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,180
One, two,
step together.
220
00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:01,180
One, two, step together.
221
00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:02,690
One, two...
222
00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:12,200
You're really picking
this up, Scarpacci.
223
00:10:12,190 --> 00:10:15,700
Well, I've had
a wonderful teacher.
224
00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:17,700
A teacher's only as
good as his student.
225
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,200
Flatterer.
226
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,200
Dip.
227
00:10:23,210 --> 00:10:25,210
228
00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:57,740
229
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,260
(song ends)
230
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:15,760
Okay.
231
00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:18,760
You're good enough
to fake your way through.
232
00:11:22,770 --> 00:11:24,770
(applause on TV,
Stuart laughing)
233
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:41,280
Hi, Joe.
234
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:42,790
Stuart.
235
00:11:42,790 --> 00:11:44,290
(sighing)
236
00:11:44,290 --> 00:11:46,290
Mm-mmm. Hey, Joe,
Joe, Joe, relax.
237
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:47,790
Leave that
for the cleaning lady.
238
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:50,290
I am the cleaning lady.
239
00:11:50,290 --> 00:11:52,290
Well, in that case,
you ain't getting a raise,
240
00:11:52,290 --> 00:11:54,300
because this place is a pigsty.
241
00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:55,800
(laughing)
242
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,800
Ooh, ooh, it's 7:30--
You know what that means?
243
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,300
Yeah. Wheel's on.
244
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,800
Come on,
sit down and watch.
245
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,310
This is a special episode--
"Live from Sea World."
246
00:12:04,310 --> 00:12:06,310
Hey, hey, hey.
247
00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:08,310
Looks like you could
use a hand there.
248
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:09,810
I sure could.
249
00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:10,810
Mmm...
250
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,320
Your chips are in
the other bag.
251
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:16,320
Oh!
252
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,320
Family size!
253
00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:19,820
(laughing)
254
00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:22,830
You got
to keep her here, Joe.
255
00:12:24,830 --> 00:12:26,830
Helen, I read somewhere
256
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:31,830
where you can have
anybody killed for $10,000.
257
00:12:31,830 --> 00:12:33,840
Joe, don't be ridiculous.
258
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,340
We only have $6,000 in the bank.
259
00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:38,340
Yeah, but I bet
we could get a loan
260
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,840
if I tell them what it's for.
261
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,840
Look, I'm not crazy
about him living here either,
262
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,350
but we have to keep remembering
why we're doing this.
263
00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:45,850
Why?
264
00:12:45,850 --> 00:12:46,850
"Why?"
265
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,850
Why?!
266
00:12:50,350 --> 00:12:52,860
Why?
267
00:12:52,860 --> 00:12:54,360
Oh, for Casey, for Casey.
268
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,360
She thinks he's just going
through a little phase,
269
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:57,860
and he'll snap out of it
270
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,360
and the two of them will be
back on their feet again.
271
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,860
Or he'll eat himself
to 1,000 pounds,
272
00:13:01,860 --> 00:13:05,370
be forklifted out of here
and buried in a piano crate.
273
00:13:05,370 --> 00:13:07,870
For Casey's sake,
let's just be patient with him.
274
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:10,870
Excuse me, but I see
you people only use
275
00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:13,380
non-wax floss.
276
00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:16,380
I have a little problem
with that.
277
00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:17,380
Do you, Stu?
278
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:19,380
Thank you so much for
pointing that out.
279
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:20,880
Well, FYI, next time.
280
00:13:22,890 --> 00:13:25,390
Stuart, I washed
the shirt for you.
281
00:13:25,390 --> 00:13:26,390
Oh, honey, thanks.
282
00:13:26,390 --> 00:13:27,390
That's my shirt.
283
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:30,390
I accidentally spilled
some grape juice on it.
284
00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:31,890
Hey, it almost came out.
285
00:13:31,890 --> 00:13:34,400
Come on, Helen, let's go.
286
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,400
Where you going?
287
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,900
To the bank.
288
00:13:45,410 --> 00:13:48,410
(humming rumba rhythm)
289
00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:51,910
Oh, it looks as if you two
had a good time.
290
00:13:51,910 --> 00:13:54,420
Oh, boy, did we.
291
00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:57,420
You must have been
quite a hit with the ladies.
292
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:58,920
Nope, couldn't
get arrested.
293
00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:01,420
The cruise had
too many escorts.
294
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:03,430
Yeah, but that
band, oh!
295
00:14:03,430 --> 00:14:04,930
It was too good
to go to waste.
296
00:14:04,930 --> 00:14:06,430
So, show her, Roy.
297
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:09,930
We took first place
in the rumba contest.
298
00:14:10,430 --> 00:14:12,940
Really?
299
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,940
Well, right now I have
a picture of you two in my mind
300
00:14:15,940 --> 00:14:18,940
that I'd give anything to lose.
301
00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:20,940
Ha!
302
00:14:20,940 --> 00:14:23,950
(humming rumba rhythm)
303
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:24,950
JOE:
Oh, hey, Casey,
304
00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:27,450
do you mind if I talk
to you for a minute?
305
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:28,450
Sure. What is it?
306
00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:29,950
Well, you know how much
307
00:14:29,950 --> 00:14:31,950
I want to help you
and Stuart, and...
308
00:14:31,950 --> 00:14:33,460
well, I think I've come
up with a solution.
309
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:34,960
Really?
310
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,960
How does Stuart
feel about Georgia?
311
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,460
I don't really know.
312
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,960
Okay, how does he
feel about peaches?
313
00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:41,460
Oh, he likes them,
314
00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:43,970
especially sliced
with a little fresh cream.
315
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:47,970
Good. How does he feel
about picking 'em?
316
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:49,470
What?!
317
00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:50,970
Hear me out, keep an
open mind on this, okay?
318
00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:52,480
There was a guy on
one of my flights.
319
00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:54,480
He owns a couple of
orchards down in Georgia.
320
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:55,480
He needs hands.
321
00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:56,980
It's a couple
of months' work.
322
00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:00,480
He'll be done in time for the
linseed harvest in Alabama.
323
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:03,490
Isn't it amazing how this
all just fell into place?
324
00:15:03,490 --> 00:15:06,990
Are you suggesting that Stuart
become a migrant farmworker
325
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,990
in the Deep South?
326
00:15:08,990 --> 00:15:11,990
Well, hey, you got to
go where the work is.
327
00:15:11,990 --> 00:15:15,000
Look, Joe, I know how you feel
about Stuart, but fortunately,
328
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,500
not everyone in the family
feels that way.
329
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,000
Oh, Joe, did
you tell Casey
330
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,500
about the peach plan?
331
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:24,010
Helen, is that how little
you think of Stuart?
332
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:25,510
No. Absolutely not.
333
00:15:25,510 --> 00:15:27,010
We think a lot of Stuart.
334
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:30,510
It must be killing
that proud and great man
335
00:15:30,510 --> 00:15:32,010
to be living on our couch
336
00:15:32,010 --> 00:15:35,520
with his fist stuck
in the Pringles' can.
337
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,520
Come on, Stuart's trying.
338
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:41,020
In fact, he's at a job interview
even as we speak.
339
00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:43,030
Yes. He is applying
for a position with the city
340
00:15:43,030 --> 00:15:44,530
in traffic management.
341
00:15:44,530 --> 00:15:46,030
Traffic management.
342
00:15:46,030 --> 00:15:48,030
What exactly is that?
343
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:51,530
It's a crossing guard, okay?
344
00:15:51,530 --> 00:15:55,040
Hey, I know you don't have a lot
of faith in Stuart, but I do.
345
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,040
He has a lot more ambition
than you think.
346
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,540
You watch:
Stuart Davenport will rise again
347
00:15:59,540 --> 00:16:01,040
like the phoenix.
348
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:02,550
Oh, yeah? Does the
phoenix wake up at noon,
349
00:16:03,050 --> 00:16:05,550
scratch its ass and
eat a four-egg omelet?
350
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:10,050
Hey... hey, Casey,
guess what? Guess what?
351
00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:11,550
This morning,
the cruise ship
352
00:16:12,050 --> 00:16:13,560
passed this yacht
in the harbor
353
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,560
and it's called
the Princess Casey.
354
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:18,060
Wasn't that the name
of your boat?
355
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,560
Um... yeah.
356
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,560
Boy, that's
a coincidence.
357
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,570
I mean, I guess
somebody liked the name.
358
00:16:23,570 --> 00:16:25,070
Here's another coincidence.
359
00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:27,070
Stuart was on it.
360
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:30,070
He, uh, he had
a pitcher of margaritas
361
00:16:30,070 --> 00:16:32,070
and he was doing a samba.
362
00:16:32,070 --> 00:16:35,080
Not a bad dancer,
if I may say so.
363
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,580
Of course, he's no Roy.
364
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,590
I thought the Princess Casey
was repossessed.
365
00:16:44,590 --> 00:16:46,590
I thought Stuart
was broke.
366
00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:48,590
Hey, did you guys
tell Casey the idea?
367
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,090
Is ol' Stuey leaving
368
00:16:50,090 --> 00:16:53,600
on that midnight train
to Georgia, huh?
369
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,600
Come on, Brian, we
got a boat to catch.
370
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,100
Just once would it
kill you to say please?
371
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,110
Ow!
372
00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:10,110
I don't believe it!
373
00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:11,610
This is our boat!
374
00:17:11,610 --> 00:17:12,610
Ooh...
375
00:17:12,610 --> 00:17:14,120
Oh, I love this boat.
376
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,620
Oh, I love everything
about this boat!
377
00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:18,120
There's got to be
some explanation.
378
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:20,120
Oh, I know.
379
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:22,630
Remember when Stuart sent
Helen out for lottery tickets?
380
00:17:22,620 --> 00:17:23,630
Well...
381
00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:25,630
maybe one of them hit,
you know,
382
00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:27,130
and he bought the boat back
to surprise me.
383
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:30,130
Or maybe he just screwed you.
384
00:17:30,130 --> 00:17:31,630
What?
385
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:34,640
(gasps)
386
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,640
Excuse me.
387
00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:40,640
Knock, knock.
388
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,140
Casey! Hi!
389
00:17:42,140 --> 00:17:43,150
Casey...
390
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:44,650
uh, listen, um,
391
00:17:45,150 --> 00:17:47,150
you're... you're probably
wondering about all this.
392
00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:50,150
Guess what?
393
00:17:50,150 --> 00:17:52,150
I got the crossing
guard job.
394
00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:54,160
I had no idea
how well it paid.
395
00:17:54,660 --> 00:17:55,160
Wow!
396
00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:57,160
So, um, let's celebrate.
397
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,160
Champagne? Caviar?
398
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,660
I could have Raoul
make you an omelet.
399
00:18:00,660 --> 00:18:02,660
Oh, Stuart.
400
00:18:02,660 --> 00:18:05,170
I knew you wouldn't
stay down for long.
401
00:18:05,170 --> 00:18:06,170
Oh, God. I'm so happy.
402
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:08,670
This is everything
I've ever wanted,
403
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:10,670
and this is everything
you stole from me,
404
00:18:10,670 --> 00:18:12,670
you lying creep!
(grunts)
405
00:18:12,670 --> 00:18:15,180
Ow...! Ow!
406
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,180
I've just got a couple of
questions for you, fella.
407
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,690
Number one: where's
the switch to the hot tub?
408
00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:25,690
And number two:
are suits optional?
409
00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:27,190
You go right ahead, Brian.
410
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,690
This is half my yacht.
411
00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:31,190
The switch you want will be
the green one near the sauna.
412
00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:34,200
Wha... you got
a sauna here?
413
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,700
Oh, cool.
414
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:37,200
Hey, hey, hey!
415
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,700
You take one more step
416
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,700
and this whole bag
goes out the window.
417
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:41,200
You wouldn't do that.
418
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:42,700
All right!
All right!
419
00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:44,210
You would! You would!
Casey, calm down.
420
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:46,710
Relax. Relax. Just tell me,
what do you want from me?
421
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:49,210
I want to play a little game.
422
00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:53,220
It's called, "Tell the truth,
you lying sleazebag!"
423
00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:56,720
Question number one for $10,000!
424
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,720
Is this the money you emptied
out of our bank account?
425
00:19:00,220 --> 00:19:01,220
No!
426
00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:03,230
I found that on a bus.
427
00:19:03,230 --> 00:19:04,230
(imitates buzzer)
428
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:06,730
(moans)
429
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:09,230
You didn't tell the truth,
you lying sleazebag!
430
00:19:09,230 --> 00:19:10,730
This is...
431
00:19:10,730 --> 00:19:12,230
This is ridiculous.
Let me have that.
432
00:19:12,230 --> 00:19:13,740
Hey! Hey!
I'm not kidding.
433
00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:15,240
You cross that line
434
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:16,740
and it's cash ahoy!
435
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,740
All right, Casey, Casey,
listen to me.
436
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:20,240
That's our money.
437
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,750
You're only hurting yourself
by tossing it out.
438
00:19:22,740 --> 00:19:24,250
Oh, you're right.
439
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:27,250
In that case,
I'll only toss out your half!
440
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:31,250
Question number two
for another $10,000.
441
00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:34,260
Why did you really
come back here?
442
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:36,260
Because I love you,
I missed you,
443
00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:38,760
and I couldn't live without you.
444
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,260
Oh, Stuart.
445
00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:43,770
(imitates buzzer)
446
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:47,270
Maybe I didn't explain
the rules of our game
447
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,770
quite clearly enough.
448
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:51,270
The more you lie,
the more you lose!
449
00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:53,780
This is such a bad game.
450
00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:57,780
I don't mean to interrupt,
but...
451
00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:02,780
I am enjoying a Denver omelet
like I never have.
452
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:07,290
This Raoul is a magician.
453
00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:14,800
Now... are you ready
to tell the truth?
454
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,300
Why did you come back here?
455
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,300
Because I wanted a divorce.
456
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:23,810
And why didn't you
just ask me for one?
457
00:20:23,810 --> 00:20:26,310
Because I didn't want
to hurt you!
458
00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:27,810
(imitates buzzer)
459
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:28,810
All right, you want the truth?
460
00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:31,310
I wanted to trick you
461
00:20:31,310 --> 00:20:32,820
into thinking I was broke,
so you'd divorce me
462
00:20:32,810 --> 00:20:34,820
so I could keep the boat
and all the money!
463
00:20:34,820 --> 00:20:36,320
I never thought
you'd stay with me
464
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:37,820
when you thought
I was such a loser.
465
00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:41,320
The Casey I knew would have
dumped me in a heartbeat!
466
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:44,830
You're not the woman I married.
467
00:20:44,830 --> 00:20:46,330
God, Stuart!
468
00:20:46,330 --> 00:20:48,330
You know, part of me
has spent these last two years
469
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:52,330
wondering if I had done
something to drive you away.
470
00:20:52,330 --> 00:20:53,840
Well, now I know the truth.
471
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:57,340
You're just
a really awful human being.
472
00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:58,340
(alarm sounds)
473
00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,340
Oh! What's that?
474
00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:01,340
All right, look,
475
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,350
a couple of bad things
just happened.
476
00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:06,350
Um, there are two green
switches by the hot tub,
477
00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:08,850
and the one that I
pushed... the bad one...
478
00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:11,350
Oh, my God!
You've reversed the bilge pump.
479
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:12,350
We're taking on water.
480
00:21:12,350 --> 00:21:13,860
Yes, we are,
but not to worry
481
00:21:13,860 --> 00:21:15,360
'cause Raoul is
on the phone
482
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,860
to the Coast Guard
right now, and by the way
483
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,860
have you tried his
cheeseless frittata?
484
00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:21,360
Oh! Good job, Brian.
485
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:24,370
Now they will be towing
my boat into the harbor.
486
00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:25,870
No, no, no, no,
it's not your boat or my boat,
487
00:21:25,870 --> 00:21:27,370
and soon as they get
their hands on it,
488
00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:29,370
it's going to
be the government's boat!
489
00:21:29,370 --> 00:21:31,370
I haven't paid taxes
in five years.
490
00:21:31,370 --> 00:21:32,370
I got to get
out of here.
491
00:21:32,370 --> 00:21:33,880
Give me that!
Give it!
No!
492
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,880
Give me this!
(yells)
493
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,880
(screams)
(screams)
494
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,380
Was that the money?
495
00:21:39,380 --> 00:21:41,380
Yes!
Yes!
496
00:21:41,380 --> 00:21:42,890
No!
497
00:21:44,390 --> 00:21:46,390
Well, I hope you're happy!
498
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:48,890
Not yet.
499
00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:50,890
(screams)
500
00:21:50,890 --> 00:21:52,890
(splashing)
501
00:21:52,890 --> 00:21:55,400
Now I'm happy.
502
00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:03,910
(music playing)
503
00:22:28,930 --> 00:22:30,930
(song ends)
34624
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