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1
00:00:09,590 --> 00:00:12,100
Excuse me, ma'am,
but there's a line.
2
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:13,600
You'll have to wait your turn.
3
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:15,100
I'm Eleanor Kingsbury.
4
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,100
(crashing)
5
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:18,600
Eleanor Kingsbury
6
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:21,600
as in the Nantucket
Kingsburys?
7
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:22,610
Oh, my.
8
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:24,110
I'd like to charter a plane.
9
00:00:24,610 --> 00:00:26,110
May I speak to whomever
is in charge?
10
00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:28,610
Oh, yes, that would be, uh...
11
00:00:29,110 --> 00:00:30,610
it's on the tip of my tongue.
12
00:00:30,610 --> 00:00:31,610
Um...
13
00:00:31,610 --> 00:00:34,620
they're brothers.
14
00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:36,120
May I see them?
15
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,620
Oh, uh-uh, yes, ma'am.
Right this way, ma'am.
16
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:40,120
They're right in here--
Oh! Hackett-- that's it!
17
00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:42,630
Joe and Brian Hackett.
18
00:00:42,630 --> 00:00:46,130
I'm sure you'll be very
impressed with them.
19
00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:00,640
Brian... Joe...
20
00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:03,150
this is Eleanor Kingsbury.
21
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:06,650
BOTH:
Eleanor Kingsbury!
22
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:09,650
Fay, a little help here.
23
00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:11,650
(grunting)
24
00:01:11,650 --> 00:01:15,660
Uh, Joe, Ms. Kingsbury
25
00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:17,660
is interested in
chartering a plane.
26
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:21,670
I'll be leaving now,
if it's all right.
27
00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:25,170
Ms. Kingsbury,
it's an honor to meet you.
28
00:01:25,170 --> 00:01:27,170
We grew up on the island,
so we've heard
29
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:28,670
the Kingsbury name
all our lives.
30
00:01:28,670 --> 00:01:29,670
I'm sure you have.
31
00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:31,670
Hello? Blacking out here.
32
00:01:31,670 --> 00:01:33,180
Excuse me.
33
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:35,180
I guess you're
probably wondering
34
00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:36,680
why we're hanging
from this thing.
35
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,680
Well, you know
how, sometimes,
36
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,180
you're lying in bed at night
37
00:01:40,180 --> 00:01:41,690
watching an infomercial,
and you say to yourself,
38
00:01:42,190 --> 00:01:44,190
"Hey, Harvey Korman really
seems to be enjoying that."
39
00:01:44,190 --> 00:01:47,690
Mr. Hackett... the charter?
40
00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:49,690
Oh, yes, right,
how can we help you?
41
00:01:49,690 --> 00:01:54,700
My father, Harrison Kingsbury,
passed away last night.
42
00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:57,200
ELEANOR:
I want you to fly
down to Miami,
43
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,700
pick up his body
44
00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:01,700
and bring it back to Nantucket
for the memorial service.
45
00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:03,710
I'll need you
to leave right away.
46
00:02:03,710 --> 00:02:08,710
Oh, um, well, that could be
a little bit of a problem.
47
00:02:08,710 --> 00:02:12,220
We have scheduled flights
and a lot of valued customers
48
00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:14,220
who depend on us.
49
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,720
Fay...
50
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,720
Cancel all flights.
51
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:25,230
And, uh, if anybody
says anything, call security.
52
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,730
My father's body
is being prepared.
53
00:02:29,230 --> 00:02:31,230
It'll be waiting for you
at Miami Airport.
54
00:02:31,230 --> 00:02:33,240
You'll fly back
tomorrow morning.
55
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:34,740
Your overnight
accommodations
56
00:02:34,740 --> 00:02:35,740
will be arranged.
57
00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:36,740
Thank you.
58
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:37,740
On behalf of Sandpiper,
59
00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,740
we'd like to express
our deepest sympathy.
60
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,750
Yes, please accept
our condolences.
61
00:02:41,740 --> 00:02:43,750
Thank you.
62
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,760
BOTH:
Miami! Oh, yeah!
63
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:56,760
Oh, yeah! Miami!
64
00:02:57,260 --> 00:03:00,760
Chappel, what are you
trying to do
65
00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:02,270
kill me with this chili?
66
00:03:02,270 --> 00:03:05,770
My mouth's on fire.
67
00:03:05,770 --> 00:03:08,270
Oh, Roy, it's the same chili
you had for breakfast.
68
00:03:09,270 --> 00:03:10,770
No, it isn't.
69
00:03:10,770 --> 00:03:12,280
This stuff is lethal.
70
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,780
I haven't had
any other complaints.
71
00:03:13,780 --> 00:03:14,780
Oh, yeah?
72
00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:16,280
Well, here, wait.
73
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,280
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, lady.
74
00:03:18,780 --> 00:03:23,790
I want you to try
a snoutful of this.
75
00:03:23,790 --> 00:03:26,290
See if it doesn't set
your nose hairs on fire.
76
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,290
Go on.
77
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:29,790
Excuse me.
78
00:03:29,790 --> 00:03:32,300
You know,
you look familiar.
79
00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:35,300
Who are you, toots?
80
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:36,800
I'm Eleanor Kingsbury.
81
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:42,310
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
82
00:03:48,310 --> 00:03:50,810
Hey, you guys
know who that was?
83
00:03:50,810 --> 00:03:51,810
Yeah, Eleanor Kingsbury.
Yeah!
84
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,320
So what did she want
the charter for?
85
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:57,320
Get this--
Harrison Kingsbury is dead.
86
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,820
Oh, no, that's terrible.
87
00:03:58,820 --> 00:04:01,320
Yeah, she hired us to go down
to Miami to pick up the body.
88
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,830
Wow, Harrison
Kingsbury is gone.
89
00:04:04,830 --> 00:04:06,330
I don't believe it.
90
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,830
Kingsbury was
an institution
on this island.
91
00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:11,830
I had my first kiss
on Kingsbury Point.
92
00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:15,840
I lost my virginity
on Kingsbury Point.
93
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:19,340
I lost my virginity
on Kingsbury's couch.
94
00:04:21,340 --> 00:04:25,350
His niece was my prom date...
a great prom date.
95
00:04:25,350 --> 00:04:28,350
Oh, Antonio,
did you hear the news?
96
00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:29,850
Harrison Kingsbury is dead.
97
00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:32,860
(spits):
That rat bastard.
98
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,860
I hate that man.
99
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:39,360
I once spent a whole day
driving him
100
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,360
from one appointment
to the next.
101
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:42,870
He did nothing but abuse me.
102
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,370
Made me feel
like a piece of dirt.
103
00:04:45,370 --> 00:04:46,370
Oh, come on, Antonio
104
00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:48,870
you're a little
oversensitive about this.
105
00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:50,370
No, no, he would say,
106
00:04:50,370 --> 00:04:52,880
"Hey, piece of dirt,
take a left at the light."
107
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,880
Then...
108
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,880
after all that,
I drove him home
109
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:01,880
and he skipped out on me--
no tip, no fare, no nothing.
110
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,390
So, great,
now the old geezer's dead
111
00:05:04,390 --> 00:05:06,390
and I'll never collect my money.
112
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:08,390
Excuse me.
113
00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:09,890
I need a cab.
114
00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:13,400
Okay, okay, but it's going
to be cash up front, buddy.
115
00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:21,900
(groans):
Oh, my head.
116
00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:23,910
Relax. Relax, Joe.
117
00:05:23,910 --> 00:05:25,410
You'll be home
in a minute.
118
00:05:25,410 --> 00:05:26,910
Why did I drink so much?
119
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:29,910
Because you're
a married man,
you're out of town,
120
00:05:29,910 --> 00:05:31,910
and you're a cliche.
121
00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:34,920
Shut up
and just drive, okay, Brian?
122
00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:36,420
(groaning)
123
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,420
Be quiet. Shush, shush.
Keep it down.
124
00:05:38,420 --> 00:05:39,920
You're gonna scare
our passenger.
125
00:05:43,930 --> 00:05:45,430
Hey, Joey...
126
00:05:45,430 --> 00:05:47,430
did you ever see one?
127
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,930
See what?
128
00:05:49,930 --> 00:05:50,930
A dead guy.
129
00:05:50,930 --> 00:05:52,940
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
I'm not...
130
00:05:52,940 --> 00:05:53,940
Come on.
131
00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:55,440
One little peek-ski.
Come on...
132
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:56,440
Forget about it, Brian.
133
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,940
I'm not looking
at a dead guy.
134
00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:00,440
I didn't even like looking
at Grandpa when he was napping.
135
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,450
Well, I'm looking.
Take over.
136
00:06:02,450 --> 00:06:03,950
Brian...
137
00:06:03,950 --> 00:06:04,950
I can't even believe
138
00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:06,950
you're not the
least bit curious.
139
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:08,950
Look, I saw his picture
in the paper.
140
00:06:08,950 --> 00:06:12,460
Long gray hair, gray beard,
yellow teeth.
141
00:06:12,460 --> 00:06:15,460
I really doubt death is going
to pretty him up.
142
00:06:15,460 --> 00:06:16,460
Hey, Joey...
143
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,960
I think you ought
to check this out.
144
00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:20,460
Would you forget it, Brian?
145
00:06:20,460 --> 00:06:22,970
I'm not looking
at Kingsbury's corpse.
146
00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:25,970
Neither am I...
147
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:29,470
unless he's 4'10"
in a sequined gown
148
00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:31,470
and a really tasteful brooch.
149
00:06:31,470 --> 00:06:33,480
Brian, no,
I'm not going to do it.
150
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:34,480
I'm serious, Joe.
151
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:35,480
Hit the auto-pilot.
152
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:36,980
I really, really think
you ought to see this.
153
00:06:43,990 --> 00:06:45,490
All right, there are
two possibilities here.
154
00:06:45,490 --> 00:06:46,490
Uh-huh.
155
00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:49,490
Either Harrison
Kingsbury was a woman
156
00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:52,500
or we've got the wrong body.
157
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,000
(both screaming)
158
00:07:05,510 --> 00:07:07,510
What are we going to do?
What are we going to do?
159
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,010
All right,
can I just say something?
160
00:07:09,010 --> 00:07:10,510
I don't know
if it'll help...
Yeah. What? What?
161
00:07:10,510 --> 00:07:12,020
This is so your fault.
162
00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:14,020
I told you to
stop saying that.
163
00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:15,520
Hey, it's not my fault.
164
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,520
Hey, I was nowhere
near the body.
165
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,520
I was refueling the plane.
166
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:20,520
You're the one
who signed for Kingsbury.
167
00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:22,530
Yeah, that's ri...
Yeah, that's right, I did.
168
00:07:22,530 --> 00:07:24,030
And I have the, uh...
169
00:07:24,030 --> 00:07:26,030
got the paperwork
right here
170
00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:28,030
so I can prove this
was not my fault.
171
00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:29,030
You see?
172
00:07:29,530 --> 00:07:31,030
"Acknowledge receipt
for the transfer
173
00:07:31,030 --> 00:07:35,040
of the body of...
Mrs. Pearl Nadelman."
174
00:07:35,540 --> 00:07:37,040
If she's here,
then right now,
175
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,540
Harrison Kingsbury
is surrounded
176
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:42,050
by a lot of people
eating noodle kugel.
177
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,550
What are we going
to do, Brian?
178
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:45,050
We are in big trouble.
179
00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:46,550
Oh, gee, you think?
180
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,050
Brian, they got laws against
this-- body snatching.
181
00:07:49,050 --> 00:07:50,550
This is body snatching.
182
00:07:50,550 --> 00:07:52,060
Brian, I can't
go to prison.
183
00:07:52,050 --> 00:07:53,560
I hear they do bad things
184
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,560
to people that wear
shower slippers.
185
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,060
Stop! Stop, stop!
186
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,060
Okay? Relax.
187
00:07:58,060 --> 00:07:59,060
I will call Miami Airport
188
00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:01,060
and I will try to track down
exactly what happened.
189
00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:03,570
We're fine
as long as no one knows.
190
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,070
Oh. You're back.
191
00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:06,570
How was the trip?
192
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:08,070
Fine.
Miami.
193
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:09,570
Great city.
Home of the Dolphins.
194
00:08:09,570 --> 00:08:10,570
Well, Eleanor Kingsbury called.
195
00:08:11,070 --> 00:08:12,580
She wanted to know
the moment you returned,
196
00:08:12,580 --> 00:08:14,580
so she could send someone
to pick up her father.
197
00:08:14,580 --> 00:08:15,580
I'll go tell her you're back.
198
00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:17,080
No!
No!
199
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,080
Is something wrong?
200
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,080
Wrong? Of course
nothing's wrong.
201
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:23,090
Why would anything be wrong?
202
00:08:23,090 --> 00:08:26,090
We picked up the wrong body!
That's what's wrong.
203
00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:28,590
Oh, you're a rock, you are.
204
00:08:28,590 --> 00:08:30,090
Oh, my God!
205
00:08:30,090 --> 00:08:33,100
How could you pick up
the wrong body?!
206
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:34,600
Long story,
his fault.
207
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:35,600
Come on, Fay.
208
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,100
The Kingsburys will
understand, right?
209
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,600
They're people, just
like you and me.
210
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,600
No! They're people who squash
people just like you and me.
211
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,610
Don't you remember what happened
to Sconset Air?
212
00:08:44,610 --> 00:08:45,610
What's Sconset Air?
213
00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:47,110
They had the counter
here before us.
214
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:48,610
They went out
of business.
215
00:08:48,610 --> 00:08:50,610
And do you know why?
216
00:08:50,610 --> 00:08:52,120
Because they misplaced one
of Eleanor Kingsbury's bags.
217
00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:54,120
During the 11 minutes
it took to find it
218
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,120
she had their bank loan
called in,
219
00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,120
their line of credit revoked,
220
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,120
and the owners were last seen
221
00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:02,130
making slushies
at the Stop 'n' Shop.
222
00:09:04,130 --> 00:09:07,130
Oh, that was for losing
a piece of luggage.
223
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,130
Hey, imagine what she'll do
224
00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:10,130
when she finds out
we lost her daddy.
225
00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:13,140
(Brian and Joe screaming)
226
00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:21,140
HELEN:
Oh, my gosh.
227
00:09:21,140 --> 00:09:22,650
It's Wilson Kingsbury.
228
00:09:22,650 --> 00:09:25,150
You mean, "banana head"
Kingsbury? Where?
229
00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,150
Hey, his head filled out.
230
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:32,150
Remember when we were kids,
he would not leave me alone?
231
00:09:32,150 --> 00:09:33,660
He was so weird and creepy
232
00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:36,660
with his sweaty hands
and that whiny voice?
233
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,660
(whining):
Helen, how are you?
234
00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:40,660
I mean it,
how are you?
235
00:09:40,660 --> 00:09:42,170
Oh, God, don't
let him see me.
236
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:43,670
(whining):
Helen...
237
00:09:44,670 --> 00:09:46,670
Helen! How are you?
238
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:48,670
I mean it,
how are you?
239
00:09:48,670 --> 00:09:51,170
Good. Good to see you.
240
00:09:51,170 --> 00:09:53,680
I guess you heard
my grandfather died.
241
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,180
Yes. I'm very sorry
to hear that.
242
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:57,680
It's very sad.
243
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:58,680
Nothing can ease the pain;
244
00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:00,680
not even the fact
that I'm going to inherit
245
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:03,190
$10.5 million.
246
00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:06,190
Wilson Kingsbury.
247
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:09,190
Why, I'm Helen's
sister Casey.
248
00:10:09,190 --> 00:10:10,690
Remember me?
249
00:10:10,690 --> 00:10:12,200
No.
250
00:10:12,190 --> 00:10:14,200
Anyway, Helen,
it's been so long.
251
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,700
What you been up to?
252
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,700
Well, let's see...
253
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,200
I got married.
254
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,200
Joe Hackett.
255
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,200
Got married to Joe.
256
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,210
I'm, uh, very married.
257
00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:25,210
Well, not me.
258
00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:26,210
I'm still single.
259
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:27,710
Single and looking.
(clacks teeth and barks)
260
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:29,710
(laughing)
261
00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:31,710
Boy, it's hard to believe
262
00:10:31,710 --> 00:10:33,220
somebody didn't
just snap you up.
263
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,220
That's what Mother says.
264
00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:37,220
Oh, I love mama's boys.
265
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:38,720
I am not a mama's boy!
266
00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:39,720
Okay, okay.
267
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:43,230
Didn't know that was going
to be such a red flag...
268
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:44,730
Banana Head.
269
00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:46,730
Anyway, Helen,
270
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:48,730
this is going to be
a pretty rough day for me
271
00:10:48,730 --> 00:10:50,730
and I was wondering--
272
00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:52,240
would you mind going
to Grandpapa's funeral?
273
00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:54,740
Sure would be nice
to see a friendly face.
274
00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:57,240
Oh, I'm sorry, Wilson,
I won't be able to.
275
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,240
Thanks.
Well...
276
00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,740
I know it's a lot to ask
277
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,750
and I know you didn't like me
very much.
278
00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:04,250
That's okay, nobody did.
279
00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:07,750
It's just that I always thought
of you as a friend.
280
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,750
Oh, well.
281
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:11,250
Bye-bye.
282
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,260
Oh...
283
00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:17,760
Is that a "yes"?
284
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,260
Yes.
285
00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:21,260
Oh, good! Then I'll see you
at 4:00 up at the house.
286
00:11:21,260 --> 00:11:24,270
And thank you.
I mean it-- thank you.
287
00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:27,770
Oh, oh... oh, you can!
288
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,270
Can what? Can what?
Can what?
289
00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:30,270
Oh, man, I owe you.
290
00:11:30,270 --> 00:11:31,770
Owe? Owe? What do we owe?
What do we owe?
291
00:11:31,770 --> 00:11:32,780
We'll pay anything.
292
00:11:32,780 --> 00:11:34,280
Easy, Buttercup.
293
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,280
Everything's under control.
294
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,280
Seems that Kingsbury's
body showed up
295
00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:41,280
at the Nadelman
funeral in Brooklyn.
296
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:42,790
So I was just talking to
a pilot buddy of mine.
297
00:11:42,790 --> 00:11:45,290
He said he could pick up
Kingsbury, fly him back here
298
00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:47,290
and then bring Pearl back.
299
00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:49,290
Said he can be up here
in, like, two hours.
300
00:11:49,290 --> 00:11:51,790
Oh. Oh, great.
Oh, man. Whew!
301
00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:53,800
You see, I knew
everything would work out.
302
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,300
Oh, and, uh, by the way--
303
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,800
never call me
Buttercup again.
304
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:02,810
What's going on?
305
00:12:02,810 --> 00:12:04,810
Did they find the body?
306
00:12:04,810 --> 00:12:06,310
(mock whimpering)
Fay, Fay,
wait-wait, you're...
307
00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:07,810
you, you-you-you're
so excitable.
308
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,310
Just relax.
309
00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:11,810
Everything is completely
under control.
310
00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:12,820
Oh.
311
00:12:12,820 --> 00:12:14,320
Well, thank goodness,
312
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:15,820
becuase Eleanor Kingsbury's
chauffeur is outside.
313
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:17,820
He wants the casket now.
314
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:18,820
Now? Now?!
315
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,320
He can't...
316
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,330
He can't have it now.
We don't have it now.
317
00:12:24,330 --> 00:12:25,830
It's not gonna be here
for two hours!
318
00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:26,830
Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait!
319
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,330
Okay. All right.
320
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:32,330
He wants a casket,
we'll give him a casket.
321
00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:35,840
Well, you can't
give him that casket.
322
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:36,840
Why not?
323
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,340
Yeah, why not?
324
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:41,840
Because the viewing
is at 4:00.
325
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,350
Viewing? What are
they viewing?
326
00:12:43,350 --> 00:12:46,350
Him. It's an open casket.
327
00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:47,850
Open casket?!
Oh, my God.
328
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,350
Brian, what are we
going to do?
329
00:12:49,350 --> 00:12:50,850
I got no more ideas.
I'm out of ideas.
330
00:12:50,850 --> 00:12:52,360
Well, think,
think, think.
331
00:12:52,860 --> 00:12:54,860
I'm thinking, I'm thinking,
I'm thinking, I'm thinking...
332
00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:56,360
Ah! I got it, I got it.
333
00:12:56,360 --> 00:13:00,360
Okay, I saw this
on the Twilight Zone once.
334
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:04,370
All we have to do...
is stop time.
335
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:10,870
That's your idea?
Stop time?
336
00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:12,380
Well, uh... I haven't
heard anything from you.
337
00:13:12,370 --> 00:13:14,380
Okay, you're a moron.
There, you heard it from me.
338
00:13:14,380 --> 00:13:15,880
Oh, I'm the moron?
Who lost the body?
339
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,880
Oh, you're gonna
bring that up...?
Oh, yeah!
340
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,880
Hey! Pull yourselves together.
341
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,380
We've got a job to do here.
342
00:13:21,380 --> 00:13:22,380
Where's the casket?
343
00:13:22,380 --> 00:13:23,390
In there.
344
00:13:23,390 --> 00:13:24,390
Show me.
345
00:13:24,890 --> 00:13:25,890
Now!
346
00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:33,900
JOE:
What are you... what
are you doing, Fay?
347
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,400
You got an idea?
348
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:39,400
Maybe this body will do.
349
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,900
People look very different
when they pass on.
350
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:43,910
Kingsbury was a recluse.
351
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,910
No one's seen him in years.
352
00:13:45,910 --> 00:13:47,910
Now let's see
what we've got here.
353
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:48,910
Pop the hood.
354
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:57,920
Well, this dame's
not gonna cut it.
355
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,920
This is bad,
this is very bad.
356
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:02,430
You work all your life
to build a business
357
00:14:02,420 --> 00:14:03,930
and you lose one lousy corpse,
358
00:14:04,430 --> 00:14:06,430
and-- ptth!
it's all down the drain.
359
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:09,430
You know, from this picture,
it's really hard to tell
360
00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:11,430
what this Kingsbury
guy looks like.
361
00:14:11,430 --> 00:14:13,940
Oh, Brian, would you
put down the paper
and help me think?
362
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:16,440
Now, I mean, between
the beard and the hair
363
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,440
you can hardly even
see his face.
364
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,940
Who cares?
We need a plan.
365
00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:21,440
I got a plan.
366
00:14:24,450 --> 00:14:26,950
Get in the box, Joe.
367
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,460
What do you mean,
get in the box?
368
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,960
What, are you nuts?
369
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,460
Fay, tell him
he's crazy.
370
00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:44,470
Well, let's see...
371
00:14:44,470 --> 00:14:48,470
with the right foundation
and the right wig and beard...
372
00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:51,470
Get in the box, Joe.
373
00:14:51,470 --> 00:14:52,980
I'm not getting
in the box.
374
00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:54,980
Come on! It's only
for a couple hours.
375
00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:56,980
And by that time,
Kingsbury's body
will be back here.
376
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,480
I'll drive it over;
we'll make the switch.
377
00:14:58,480 --> 00:14:59,480
Nobody has to know.
378
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:00,980
Get in the box, Joe.
379
00:15:00,980 --> 00:15:02,990
No, I don't want to get in
the box; you get in the box.
380
00:15:02,990 --> 00:15:04,990
Hey, my screw-up,
I get in the box.
381
00:15:04,990 --> 00:15:06,990
Your screw-up, etiquette
dictates you get in the box.
382
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:08,490
Wait a minute.
What about her?
383
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:09,490
(imitates buzzer)
384
00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:11,490
Substitution-- Hackett
in for Nadelman.
385
00:15:11,490 --> 00:15:13,000
Get in the box, Joe.
No.
386
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:17,500
No! There is no way I am getting
in that box.
387
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:22,000
JOE:
I can't believe
I got in the box.
388
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,010
I want to thank you
for coming again, Helen.
389
00:15:25,510 --> 00:15:26,510
It really means a lot.
390
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,010
That's okay, Wilson.
391
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,010
Oh, God.
392
00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:31,010
There he is.
393
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:32,010
Oh, look at us.
394
00:15:32,510 --> 00:15:35,020
We're walking right up
to the body, aren't we?
395
00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:37,520
Hello, Grandpapa.
396
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,020
It's me, Wilson.
397
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,020
Wilson? I remember that dweeb.
398
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:43,530
He used to have the hots
for Helen.
399
00:15:43,530 --> 00:15:45,030
Well, he looks peaceful.
400
00:15:45,030 --> 00:15:46,530
Helen?!
401
00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:49,030
I just can't believe
that he's gone.
402
00:15:49,030 --> 00:15:50,030
There, there.
403
00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:52,030
Oh, it's just so hard.
404
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:01,040
Wilson, what are you doing?
405
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:02,550
What's he doing?
406
00:16:02,540 --> 00:16:05,550
Wilson, I told you,
Joe and I are married.
407
00:16:05,550 --> 00:16:07,050
Oh, Joe, Joe, Joe.
408
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:08,550
What's the big deal
with Joe?
409
00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:11,550
Your hair smells so yummy.
410
00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:13,060
Wilson... Wilson!
411
00:16:13,060 --> 00:16:14,560
You don't have to be
such a tease-- come on.
412
00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:15,560
Cut it out!
413
00:16:16,060 --> 00:16:16,560
Oh!
414
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:18,060
Ow! Oh!
415
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,060
What did I do?
416
00:16:25,570 --> 00:16:27,070
Helen, you've got
a lot of explaining to do.
417
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,070
(screams)
418
00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:31,570
Helen, don't scream.
It's me, Joe.
419
00:16:31,570 --> 00:16:33,080
(screams)
420
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:35,580
Miss, are you
all right?
421
00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:36,580
Are you kidding me?
422
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:40,580
I'm... I'm just in shock.
423
00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:44,590
He's gone.
424
00:16:44,590 --> 00:16:46,590
It's terrible.
425
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,590
Joe, what are you
doing in there?
426
00:16:50,090 --> 00:16:51,090
We lost Kingsbury's body.
427
00:16:51,090 --> 00:16:52,600
Brian's bringing him.
428
00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:54,100
No, what are you doing
in the coffin?
429
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,600
What are you doing
coming here with Wilson?
430
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:56,600
Oh, don't change the subject.
431
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,600
What? You'll get your turn.
Where's he going?
432
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,110
Madam...
433
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:07,110
your, um, stepmother
has arrived.
434
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:09,110
Oh, wonderful.
The grieving widow.
435
00:17:09,610 --> 00:17:15,120
Oh, I came as soon I could get
a connecting flight from Vegas.
436
00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:19,120
Oh, why?
437
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:23,130
Why did this have to happen
to my husband Harrison?
438
00:17:23,130 --> 00:17:26,630
He was only 92
and in such good health.
439
00:17:26,630 --> 00:17:29,130
He was on
his third heart.
440
00:17:31,130 --> 00:17:34,640
Harry!
441
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:38,140
Harry!
442
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:41,140
No, too soon, Harry!
443
00:17:41,140 --> 00:17:42,650
Too soon!
444
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:44,650
No-o-o!
445
00:17:44,650 --> 00:17:46,150
No, Harry!
446
00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:49,150
All right, honey,
give the man some air.
447
00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:50,150
Huh?
448
00:17:50,150 --> 00:17:52,150
Uh, I mean,
it looks like
449
00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:54,160
that-that you
need some air.
450
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,660
Wipe that smile
off your face.
451
00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:58,660
I'm so sorry
for your loss.
452
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,160
It is a tragedy
453
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,670
and I don't know
how I'm going to go on.
454
00:18:02,660 --> 00:18:05,670
Hey, would you like
to go bar hopping later?
455
00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:07,170
There you are, dear.
456
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,670
Ah, thank you.
457
00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:11,670
Enjoy the funeral.
458
00:18:29,190 --> 00:18:31,190
Hey, Kingsbury.
459
00:18:31,690 --> 00:18:33,700
Remember me, huh?
460
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,200
Antonio Scarpacci?
461
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:41,200
The cabbie who drove you around
all freaking day?
462
00:18:43,210 --> 00:18:45,210
What did I get for it?
463
00:18:45,210 --> 00:18:47,210
Well, bupkes.
464
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:51,710
You stiffed me, you stiff.
465
00:18:51,710 --> 00:18:53,720
Hey, nice watch.
466
00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:03,730
In fact,
467
00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:06,230
that ought to just about
cover your tab.
468
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:07,730
Cut it out, Antonio.
469
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,730
(moans)
470
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:21,240
Next.
471
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,750
(through clenched teeth):
Joey, it's me.
472
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:29,750
Brian.
473
00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:32,250
I got Kingsbury out back.
474
00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:37,760
We'll make the switch outside
before they go to the cemetery.
475
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,260
We're all set.
476
00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:41,760
Thurmon,
477
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,270
tell my chauffeur
not to bring my car around.
478
00:19:44,770 --> 00:19:46,270
I'll be riding with father.
479
00:19:46,270 --> 00:19:47,770
Uh-oh.
480
00:19:49,770 --> 00:19:51,270
Brian, if she's riding
in the car,
481
00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:52,780
how are we going
to make the switch?
482
00:19:52,770 --> 00:19:54,780
Can't.
483
00:19:54,780 --> 00:19:56,780
You got to go through
with it.
484
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:03,790
Brian?
485
00:20:03,790 --> 00:20:04,790
Get me out of here.
486
00:20:04,790 --> 00:20:06,790
Okay, okay, okay, okay,
okay... relax, relax.
487
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:08,290
I got an idea.
488
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:10,790
Stay here. Stay here.
489
00:20:10,790 --> 00:20:13,300
Oh, Antonio, hey.
490
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:15,800
Great. Listen, I need
you to give me a hand
491
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:17,300
with something
out in the car.
492
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:18,800
Huh?
493
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:22,300
You know, for a dead guy,
he's got one helluva grip.
494
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,310
Ladies and gentlemen,
495
00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:26,810
can I have
your attention?
496
00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:28,310
Thank you all for coming.
497
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,310
And now, if you'll excuse me,
498
00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:33,320
I'd like a moment alone
with my father.
499
00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:45,330
(door slides shut)
500
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:50,330
Well, Father, this is it.
501
00:20:50,330 --> 00:20:53,340
I'm never going
to see you again,
502
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:56,340
you horrible little man.
503
00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,840
I was loyal to you
for all those years.
504
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:02,340
I gave up everything for you.
505
00:21:02,340 --> 00:21:04,850
How could you even think
of leaving all of it
506
00:21:04,850 --> 00:21:07,350
to that bimbo,
you horny, old goat?!
507
00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:13,860
Well, at least I've spared you
and the entire family
508
00:21:13,860 --> 00:21:14,860
from embarrassment.
509
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:18,860
I was the one who sent you
the poisoned cognac.
510
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,370
So long...
511
00:21:23,370 --> 00:21:24,870
Father.
512
00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:28,870
Not so fast!
513
00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:30,870
(screams)
514
00:21:30,870 --> 00:21:32,370
What's going on here?
515
00:21:32,370 --> 00:21:33,380
She killed me.
516
00:21:33,380 --> 00:21:34,380
No! You're not my father!
517
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,380
What have you done
with my father?!
518
00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:37,380
Somebody call the police!
519
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,380
Yeah, somebody call the police,
520
00:21:39,380 --> 00:21:41,380
and while you're at it,
and have them check out
521
00:21:41,380 --> 00:21:42,380
Harrison Kingsbury's
bottle of cognac--
522
00:21:42,380 --> 00:21:44,390
the one she poisoned him with.
523
00:21:44,390 --> 00:21:46,390
Oh!
524
00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:49,390
Oh, great.
525
00:21:49,390 --> 00:21:51,890
You couldn't wait
just five more minutes!
35840
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