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1
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Loneliness, loneliness,
loneliness... hmm!
2
00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:26,685
Miss Taxi Cab Driver,
3
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,054
do you know where I
spent my afternoon?
4
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,388
In a bar?
5
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,890
I was in a bar.
6
00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:35,027
And do you... do you
know what I was doing?
7
00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:36,728
Drinking.
8
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I was drinking.
9
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,366
You know... you know
what I was thinking about?
10
00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:42,767
Loneliness?
11
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:43,902
You too, huh?
12
00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:47,605
Here we are.
13
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,576
Uh, $7.50.
14
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,578
Here. Just keep the change.
15
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:54,913
Oh, thank you.
16
00:01:54,949 --> 00:01:57,894
Are you sure you
can find your plane?
17
00:01:57,918 --> 00:02:03,055
Listen, if I'm late, they're
going to wait for me.
18
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:10,729
Whew.
19
00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:18,937
Park and 63rd, please.
20
00:02:18,973 --> 00:02:20,472
Okay.
21
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,411
Oh...
22
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:29,748
Excuse me, but, uh,
23
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:32,284
does this bring
back any memories?
24
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,419
Gimme an E! Gimme an E!
25
00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:35,754
Gimme an A-S-T!
26
00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:37,267
Gimme an S! Gimme an S!
27
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:38,723
Gimme an I-D-E!
28
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:41,093
East Side, East
Side! Go, team, go!
29
00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:42,861
Yay!
30
00:02:42,897 --> 00:02:44,263
Never heard of it.
31
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:50,002
Elaine O'Connor.
32
00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:51,503
Mary Parker.
33
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:53,105
I don't believe this.
34
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:54,784
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
35
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,441
It's amazing!
36
00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:58,210
After all these years.
37
00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:00,323
You know, I have thought
of you now and then
38
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,781
trying to think what
you might be doing.
39
00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:05,017
Oh, how close did
you come to this?
40
00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:06,718
Not very.
41
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:09,154
I must say, I was
a little startled
42
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:12,157
to see our homecoming
queen driving a cab.
43
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,294
Uh, Mary, uh, I wasn't
the homecoming queen.
44
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:16,795
Oh, who was?
45
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:18,130
You were.
46
00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:19,531
That's right.
47
00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:24,202
Weren't you something, Elaine?
48
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:25,248
Oh, yes!
49
00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:26,716
I was, uh, head cheerleader.
50
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:27,906
Oh, that's right.
51
00:03:27,942 --> 00:03:30,108
And the lead in the
senior class play.
52
00:03:30,144 --> 00:03:31,910
Oh, that's right. Mm-hmm.
53
00:03:31,946 --> 00:03:33,645
I remember... I
wasn't able to be
54
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:34,646
in the senior class play
55
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:36,348
because I was too busy dating.
56
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:42,154
Oh, Elaine, we've got a
lot of catching up to do.
57
00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:44,100
Oh, yeah. Tell
me about yourself.
58
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:46,102
Oh, no, no, no. You go first.
59
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:49,995
Okay. I, uh, own a
advertising agency.
60
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,129
Mm!
61
00:03:51,165 --> 00:03:53,531
I own a co-op in Manhattan.
62
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,601
I take a month or so
in Europe every year.
63
00:03:56,636 --> 00:03:58,570
Oh, and I have a steady fella.
64
00:03:58,605 --> 00:03:59,871
He's an international lawyer
65
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,584
and we're really excited,
because right now,
66
00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:04,809
we're planning a trip
for next spring to China.
67
00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:06,622
Oh!
68
00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:09,147
Maybe I should have gone first.
69
00:04:09,183 --> 00:04:10,915
Well, uh, besides this,
70
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:14,319
I am a receptionist at
an uptown art gallery...
71
00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:15,720
Mm-hmm.
72
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:16,833
And, uh, I'm a divorced mother
73
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:19,157
of two beautiful
children... Mm-hmm.
74
00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:22,327
And I, uh, uh... That's it.
75
00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:27,466
Well... regardless,
you... certainly look nice.
76
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,781
Uh, Mary, you don't
have to feel sorry for me.
77
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:32,837
Sorry for you?!
78
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:33,984
Because there's no reason to.
79
00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:34,973
Well, I know that.
80
00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:36,252
Because I'm very happy.
81
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,809
Oh, you certainly
seem very happy.
82
00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:39,956
Yes, well, I'm even
happier than I seem!
83
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,313
Happier!
84
00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:43,593
Because, uh, you see,
I have a steady guy too.
85
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:44,760
Oh, great. Yeah.
86
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:45,850
What's his name?
87
00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:49,021
Uh... it's, uh... Billboard.
88
00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:50,066
Bill Board.
89
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:51,090
Bill Board.
90
00:04:52,426 --> 00:04:54,192
Well, tell me about him, Elaine.
91
00:04:54,228 --> 00:04:55,193
What does he do?
92
00:04:55,229 --> 00:04:57,595
Uh, he's a professor
at Columbia.
93
00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,264
Oh?
94
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,367
Must be brilliant.
95
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:04,847
He is, and not at all stuffy.
96
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,716
He's, uh, he's
charming and witty,
97
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:09,852
and, uh, he's also the most
romantic man in the world.
98
00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:12,177
Oh, he sounds wonderful.
99
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:13,223
He is.
100
00:05:13,247 --> 00:05:14,679
Oh, I have an idea.
101
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:15,791
Why don't we all get together
102
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:17,549
for dinner tomorrow
night, the four of us.
103
00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:18,716
Oh-oh-oh, no, Mary.
104
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,730
Uh, we're all tied
up till the weekend.
105
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,620
Oh, I see, well,
perhaps another time.
106
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,389
We'll play it by ear.
107
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:26,891
Right. I would love
to meet your man.
108
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,726
Me too.
109
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:34,999
Hey, Elaine. Hey.
110
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:36,768
Hey, Elaine, how you doing?
111
00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:38,103
Don't talk to me.
112
00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:39,837
I hate everything today.
113
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:41,339
I mean, look at me.
114
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:42,840
I'm a mess.
115
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,176
Oh, yeah.
116
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:46,356
I hardly even know you.
117
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,880
You know, I was so depressed
when I woke up this morning,
118
00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:50,282
that I barely made it in here.
119
00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:52,584
I mean, I didn't feel
like doing anything.
120
00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,097
I swear to God, I
didn't even floss.
121
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:57,355
Come on, Elaine,
we're just kidding.
122
00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:58,523
Hey, come on, Elaine.
123
00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,525
Now, what got you so down, huh?
124
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:01,960
Oh, I don't know.
125
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:03,695
It all started last night
126
00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:06,264
when I picked up
Mary Parker in my cab.
127
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,433
Who's Mary Parker?
128
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,835
Does she, have, uh...
129
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:14,639
frizzy blonde hair,
granny glasses
130
00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:17,742
and smoke French cigarettes?
131
00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:19,244
No.
132
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,879
Well, if you run into
somebody like that,
133
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:23,348
I'd like to meet her.
134
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:29,787
Mary Parker is this girl I
went to high school with
135
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:32,257
you know, that I haven't
seen for a long time.
136
00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:34,571
Well, she's beautiful,
she's rich, she's successful,
137
00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:36,072
she's dating this great guy.
138
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,429
So, here we were,
139
00:06:37,464 --> 00:06:39,509
sitting in my cab... right?
- -talking about our lives,
140
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:41,399
and, uh, she has all this
141
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,801
and the most exciting
thing that's happened to me
142
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:44,914
is I bought this new cushion
143
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:47,339
that keeps me from
sticking to the seat.
144
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:49,018
Hey, you know, Elaine,
when you're a cab driver,
145
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,253
you know, it's a little natural
146
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:52,755
to occasionally run into someone
who's better off than you are.
147
00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:53,745
Yeah, well...
148
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:56,314
People you run over
are better off than you.
149
00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:58,250
See, you don't understand.
150
00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:00,785
What don't we under... What
are you talking about, Elaine?
151
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:02,554
See, this isn't just somebody.
152
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,055
I mean, this Mary and I
153
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,424
were real competitors
in high school.
154
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:08,860
Where can I get one of those?
155
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:12,664
One of those what?
156
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:13,965
One of those things
157
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,635
to keep you from
sticking to your seat.
158
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:22,807
I'll get you one, okay?
159
00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:23,708
Thanks.
160
00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:25,644
Anyway...
161
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:28,880
seeing Mary again just
reminded me that I...
162
00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:33,017
that I once expected more
from myself, you know?
163
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:36,555
See... I never told
you guys this before,
164
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,190
but, in the yearbook,
165
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:41,359
I was voted "Most
Likely to Succeed."
166
00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:42,894
You know, uh...
167
00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:45,297
I was voted "Most Talented."
168
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:49,067
What obedience
school was that, Bobby?
169
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:51,369
While we're patting
ourselves on the backs here,
170
00:07:51,405 --> 00:07:53,505
I had perfect
attendance my junior year
171
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:56,174
and I was elected
president of the biology club.
172
00:07:56,210 --> 00:07:58,154
That's because you
could take your brains out
173
00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:00,178
and pass 'em around the room.
174
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:05,883
Blue.
175
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:08,486
Blue?
176
00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:13,174
I'd like a blue thing to
keep me from sticking.
177
00:08:13,209 --> 00:08:15,543
It's my favorite color.
178
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,278
Right, Jim, right.
179
00:08:17,313 --> 00:08:18,279
Blue.
180
00:08:18,314 --> 00:08:20,715
Hey, Elaine, Elaine.
181
00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:22,150
Come on, Elaine.
182
00:08:22,185 --> 00:08:23,262
Look at me, look
at me, look at me.
183
00:08:23,286 --> 00:08:24,519
Now, come on. Cheer up, huh?
184
00:08:24,554 --> 00:08:25,687
Now, wait a minute.
185
00:08:25,722 --> 00:08:28,690
Just a minute.
186
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:32,360
There's only... is one
thing you need in life
187
00:08:32,395 --> 00:08:37,098
and to make... make you
happy, and that is friends.
188
00:08:40,403 --> 00:08:44,839
That's all you need is
friends, and then you be happy.
189
00:08:44,875 --> 00:08:47,175
Right, Latka.
190
00:08:47,210 --> 00:08:50,779
If you have friends,
you be happy... happy...
191
00:08:50,814 --> 00:08:52,480
happy person.
192
00:08:54,551 --> 00:09:00,655
You-you also need
the food and clothes.
193
00:09:00,691 --> 00:09:02,724
You need, you need
food and clothes
194
00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:06,094
and you need the friends
and the food and clothes,
195
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:07,528
then you be happy person.
196
00:09:07,564 --> 00:09:09,042
Thank you.
197
00:09:09,066 --> 00:09:10,665
And a nice car.
198
00:09:12,669 --> 00:09:14,602
So, if you have
199
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:18,406
friends and the food and
clothes and the nice car,
200
00:09:18,441 --> 00:09:20,408
it is all you need.
201
00:09:20,443 --> 00:09:23,311
You don't need anything else.
202
00:09:23,346 --> 00:09:26,047
Except a home.
203
00:09:26,083 --> 00:09:27,448
You need the home.
204
00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:29,650
A nice house, and
when your friends
205
00:09:29,686 --> 00:09:31,920
come over to visit you,
206
00:09:31,955 --> 00:09:36,091
they might want to take a
dip, so you need the pool.
207
00:09:36,126 --> 00:09:38,659
So, let's add this up:
208
00:09:38,695 --> 00:09:42,330
You need the friends
and the food and clothes
209
00:09:42,365 --> 00:09:45,666
and the car and the
house with the pool.
210
00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:54,008
And a beautiful woman,
uh, who have a nice body
211
00:09:54,044 --> 00:09:58,346
that make you, uh, foam,
foaming at the mouth.
212
00:10:01,051 --> 00:10:03,184
And she will sit by the pool
213
00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:04,819
in the bathing suit.
214
00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:06,866
That's all, you don't
need anything else.
215
00:10:06,890 --> 00:10:09,124
You need the friends
216
00:10:09,159 --> 00:10:10,792
the food and the
clothes, the car,
217
00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:13,094
the house with the
pool, the beautiful woman
218
00:10:13,130 --> 00:10:17,365
that make the... the foam
come out of the mouth...
219
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:22,336
You know, as long as you
have the house with the pool,
220
00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:25,306
the car and the
beautiful woman...
221
00:10:25,341 --> 00:10:27,408
the friends would
only get in the way.
222
00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:31,212
Forget I said anything.
223
00:10:31,248 --> 00:10:33,714
I don't know what
I'm talking about.
224
00:10:36,186 --> 00:10:37,551
Elaine, Elaine...
225
00:10:37,587 --> 00:10:39,832
See, see, I just
can't figure this out.
226
00:10:39,856 --> 00:10:41,700
I mean, it doesn't add up.
227
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,903
Why should all this great stuff
228
00:10:43,927 --> 00:10:45,526
happen to Mary Parker?
229
00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:47,406
I mean, I'm a nice person.
230
00:10:47,430 --> 00:10:49,742
I work hard. Where's my reward?
231
00:10:49,766 --> 00:10:51,177
Elaine, Elaine, you're
not going to let this
232
00:10:51,201 --> 00:10:52,211
get you down like this, are you?
233
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:54,969
Oh, I'm trying
not to, Alex, but...
234
00:10:55,005 --> 00:10:56,682
Well, the worst part of it
235
00:10:56,706 --> 00:10:58,350
is that Mary felt sorry for me.
236
00:10:58,374 --> 00:11:02,476
Oh, she... she tried to
deny it, but I know she did.
237
00:11:02,512 --> 00:11:06,281
Well, I couldn't stand
that, so, uh, I started lying.
238
00:11:06,316 --> 00:11:09,317
Lying?! What'd you lie about?
239
00:11:09,352 --> 00:11:11,264
Well, I couldn't
lie about my job,
240
00:11:11,288 --> 00:11:13,587
so, uh... I lied
241
00:11:13,623 --> 00:11:15,868
about having this
great steady guy.
242
00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:17,292
Oh...
243
00:11:17,327 --> 00:11:19,005
She kept pressuring
me to get together,
244
00:11:19,029 --> 00:11:20,039
so she could meet him.
245
00:11:20,063 --> 00:11:23,664
Ew... But I really,
really had to squirm
246
00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:25,499
to get out of it.
247
00:11:25,535 --> 00:11:27,668
Alex, I don't believe it.
248
00:11:27,704 --> 00:11:30,049
I'm ashamed of my own life.
249
00:11:36,079 --> 00:11:38,112
Sunshine Cab Co.
250
00:11:38,148 --> 00:11:40,181
Who? Yeah, she's here.
251
00:11:40,217 --> 00:11:42,183
Who may I say is calling?
252
00:11:42,219 --> 00:11:44,819
Oh. Hey, Elaine,
it's that Mary Parker.
253
00:11:44,855 --> 00:11:48,356
You know, the woman whose
life is so much better than yours.
254
00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:53,461
Hi!
255
00:11:53,496 --> 00:11:58,066
Yeah. Uh, it was great
seeing you last night, too, Mar.
256
00:11:58,101 --> 00:12:00,668
Oh, yeah, it's a shame, I know,
257
00:12:00,703 --> 00:12:04,272
but we're all tied up
through the weekend.
258
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:06,241
Uh, next week? Uh, no.
259
00:12:06,276 --> 00:12:08,142
Next week, we're going
260
00:12:08,178 --> 00:12:10,311
out of town for the whole week.
261
00:12:10,347 --> 00:12:13,781
Oh, yeah, and the week after...
262
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:17,919
Uh... Mary...
263
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:20,554
I have a little confession
to make. Um...
264
00:12:20,590 --> 00:12:22,991
No, no, no, just
give me a chance
265
00:12:23,026 --> 00:12:26,527
to say this 'cause
it's kind of hard. I...
266
00:12:26,562 --> 00:12:28,241
Hello, Mary, uh,
I'm sorry to interrupt.
267
00:12:28,265 --> 00:12:29,441
I'd just like to say hello.
268
00:12:29,465 --> 00:12:32,133
Hello.
269
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,369
Oh, who am I? I'm Elaine's guy.
270
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,852
What do you say? You
want to get together?
271
00:12:39,876 --> 00:12:41,876
How about Saturday night?
272
00:12:41,912 --> 00:12:43,544
Fine. Great.
273
00:12:43,579 --> 00:12:45,213
It will be a pleasure.
274
00:12:45,248 --> 00:12:47,493
Okay. Can't wait for it. Bye.
275
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:48,983
Hmm?
276
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:52,086
Alex, I appreciate
what you're trying to do
277
00:12:52,122 --> 00:12:55,456
but you don't know
what you got yourself into.
278
00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,428
Alex, that was great.
279
00:13:00,463 --> 00:13:01,829
You really think so?
280
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:05,433
Yeah. Now...
281
00:13:05,468 --> 00:13:08,269
if they can just
invent something
282
00:13:08,305 --> 00:13:11,672
to keep me from
sticking to my shorts.
283
00:13:32,662 --> 00:13:34,929
Bill Board?
284
00:13:34,965 --> 00:13:41,302
Hey, you came this close
to being Karmen Ghia.
285
00:13:41,338 --> 00:13:43,438
Look, the important
thing is that we just relax
286
00:13:43,473 --> 00:13:44,738
and have a good time, right?
287
00:13:44,774 --> 00:13:46,874
And that we're not pitied.
288
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:47,909
Elaine, damn it.
289
00:13:47,944 --> 00:13:49,555
I don't want to hear
any more talk like that.
290
00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,324
Now, no one's going
to pity you tonight.
291
00:13:51,348 --> 00:13:52,413
Okay.
292
00:13:52,449 --> 00:13:53,781
You told your friend Mary
293
00:13:53,816 --> 00:13:56,217
that you had a guy that
was crazy about you?
294
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,886
You're going to have a
guy who's crazy about you...
295
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,089
Who will worship the
ground you walk on.
296
00:14:01,124 --> 00:14:03,757
Okay. May I have
a glass of water?
297
00:14:03,793 --> 00:14:06,353
What's the matter?
Your arm's broken?
298
00:14:07,030 --> 00:14:08,807
All right, all right, all right.
299
00:14:08,831 --> 00:14:11,232
Hello.
300
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,400
Mary!
301
00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,735
Hi. Mary, this is Bill Board.
302
00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:15,736
Hello.
303
00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:16,637
Bill, this is Mary Parker.
304
00:14:16,672 --> 00:14:17,571
How do you do? Hi, there.
305
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:18,650
And this is Michael Edwards.
306
00:14:18,674 --> 00:14:19,640
Hello.
307
00:14:19,675 --> 00:14:21,487
Elaine Nardo and Bill Board.
308
00:14:21,511 --> 00:14:22,977
How do you do? Hi.
309
00:14:23,013 --> 00:14:25,146
Why don't you two sit down?
310
00:14:25,181 --> 00:14:26,614
Yes, sure.
311
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,429
You look lovely.
312
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,919
OH, thank you.
313
00:14:33,523 --> 00:14:36,357
Would you care for cocktails?
314
00:14:36,393 --> 00:14:38,137
Uh, martini up, please.
315
00:14:38,161 --> 00:14:39,627
That sounds good.
316
00:14:39,662 --> 00:14:41,107
Bill, why don't
you order for us.
317
00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:42,430
All right.
318
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:43,431
I think we'll start
319
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:45,111
with a bottle of your
finest champagne.
320
00:14:45,135 --> 00:14:46,901
Yes, sir.
321
00:14:46,936 --> 00:14:49,970
It's kind of an
anniversary for us.
322
00:14:50,006 --> 00:14:52,507
It was nighttime when we met.
323
00:14:52,542 --> 00:14:53,508
Same.
324
00:14:53,543 --> 00:14:55,676
That's sweet.
325
00:14:55,711 --> 00:14:58,279
That's a very unusual
name... Bill Board.
326
00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,347
Yeah.
327
00:14:59,382 --> 00:15:01,682
I'm sure you get
a lot of kidding.
328
00:15:01,717 --> 00:15:04,185
Well, I don't have
as much trouble
329
00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:07,021
as my two brothers:
Clip and Switch.
330
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:14,962
Madame, sir.
331
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,933
Our very finest.
332
00:15:18,968 --> 00:15:20,268
Thank you.
333
00:15:20,303 --> 00:15:21,802
Oh, remember, darling?
334
00:15:23,806 --> 00:15:25,440
Thank you.
335
00:15:25,475 --> 00:15:28,008
Well... Well...
Here's to old friends.
336
00:15:28,044 --> 00:15:29,677
And to new ones.
337
00:15:29,712 --> 00:15:31,112
And to Elaine.
338
00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:36,484
Good martini.
339
00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:37,751
Not bad.
340
00:15:37,787 --> 00:15:39,753
But you know where they make
341
00:15:39,789 --> 00:15:41,722
the best martinis in the world?
342
00:15:41,757 --> 00:15:44,525
This little bar in Hong
Kong called Cecil's.
343
00:15:44,561 --> 00:15:46,527
Have you ever been there?
344
00:15:46,563 --> 00:15:49,063
No. We don't really
travel very much.
345
00:15:49,099 --> 00:15:50,898
Oh, we do.
346
00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:53,568
Well, you know, as
a matter of fact, uh,
347
00:15:53,603 --> 00:15:56,170
we don't really
need to go places.
348
00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:57,983
I mean, we have our entire world
349
00:15:58,007 --> 00:16:00,119
right here in New York City.
350
00:16:00,143 --> 00:16:02,154
I mean, we have each other.
351
00:16:02,178 --> 00:16:03,677
Well, we don't travel
352
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,980
as much as we used to.
353
00:16:07,984 --> 00:16:12,286
A cab driver and
a college professor.
354
00:16:12,322 --> 00:16:15,089
How did you two meet?
355
00:16:15,124 --> 00:16:16,790
How did we meet?
356
00:16:16,826 --> 00:16:19,627
Well, uh... Yes, well, you know,
357
00:16:19,662 --> 00:16:22,263
actually, it's a very
interesting story.
358
00:16:22,298 --> 00:16:24,243
Well, actually, I was browsing
359
00:16:24,267 --> 00:16:26,934
in the Metropolitan
Museum of Art one day
360
00:16:26,969 --> 00:16:28,302
and, uh, I came upon
361
00:16:28,338 --> 00:16:30,282
the most exquisite work of art
362
00:16:30,306 --> 00:16:32,017
I've ever seen in my life.
363
00:16:32,041 --> 00:16:35,676
I mean, I couldn't
take my eyes off her.
364
00:16:35,711 --> 00:16:39,780
I just stood there, stunned.
365
00:16:39,815 --> 00:16:41,026
By the time I was able to speak,
366
00:16:41,050 --> 00:16:42,350
well, it was too late.
367
00:16:42,385 --> 00:16:44,051
She vanished.
368
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:47,555
So, I went home
and tried to forget her
369
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:51,025
but I just couldn't get
her out of my mind.
370
00:16:51,060 --> 00:16:53,394
So I found myself, the
next Saturday afternoon,
371
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:56,297
right back there at the museum.
372
00:16:56,332 --> 00:16:58,244
I started spending
all of my spare time
373
00:16:58,268 --> 00:16:59,612
in museums all over the city,
374
00:16:59,636 --> 00:17:02,637
just on the one
chance in a million
375
00:17:02,672 --> 00:17:04,750
that I would get
to see her again.
376
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:07,175
How long did this go on?
377
00:17:07,210 --> 00:17:08,442
What?
378
00:17:08,478 --> 00:17:10,778
How long did this go on?
379
00:17:10,813 --> 00:17:13,981
Oh, two, three years.
380
00:17:18,321 --> 00:17:19,987
Three years?
381
00:17:20,022 --> 00:17:22,456
Yeah. Time had lost all meaning.
382
00:17:22,492 --> 00:17:23,824
And then, one day...
383
00:17:23,859 --> 00:17:26,138
I remember, it was a Thursday...
384
00:17:26,162 --> 00:17:29,096
I'd spent the entire
day at the museum
385
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:31,832
and I decided,
oh, well, that's it.
386
00:17:31,867 --> 00:17:33,434
It had been a dream.
387
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,836
I imagined the whole thing.
388
00:17:35,871 --> 00:17:38,250
So I went out to the street
389
00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:40,908
and I remember it was raining.
390
00:17:40,943 --> 00:17:42,310
I hailed a cab.
391
00:17:42,345 --> 00:17:45,479
And guess who
was driving that cab.
392
00:17:45,515 --> 00:17:46,780
Me?
393
00:17:50,786 --> 00:17:52,687
That's incredible.
394
00:17:52,722 --> 00:17:54,900
So I finally got the
opportunity to say
395
00:17:54,924 --> 00:17:57,491
what I'd been waiting
to say for three years...
396
00:17:57,527 --> 00:17:59,371
That I couldn't
live without her.
397
00:17:59,395 --> 00:18:01,962
That's lovely.
398
00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:04,298
Oh, that's lovely.
399
00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:09,136
So, uh, where did you two meet?
400
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:11,205
We were sunbathing on a beach
401
00:18:11,241 --> 00:18:12,806
in the Mediterranean.
402
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:14,442
Cannes.
403
00:18:14,477 --> 00:18:15,954
I don't think it
was Cannes, dear.
404
00:18:15,978 --> 00:18:17,278
Where was it?
405
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:19,291
It was Nice. I've
never been to Cannes.
406
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:20,214
Well, dear, it
doesn't really matter.
407
00:18:20,250 --> 00:18:21,482
It was a beach, right?
408
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:22,828
Yes, dear, it was
a beach, but...
409
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,263
When Elaine and I met,
410
00:18:24,287 --> 00:18:26,721
I'd become the
perfectly happy man
411
00:18:26,756 --> 00:18:29,257
and she's the most
wonderful person
412
00:18:29,292 --> 00:18:31,125
I've ever met in my life.
413
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:32,460
And, every day,
414
00:18:32,495 --> 00:18:34,962
she makes me more
certain of that fact.
415
00:18:34,997 --> 00:18:36,964
Would you like to order now?
416
00:18:36,999 --> 00:18:37,999
Yes.
417
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:40,301
I'd like one of him.
418
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,244
Bill?
419
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:51,579
Yes, darling?
420
00:18:51,614 --> 00:18:54,148
Do you think you
could let go of my hand,
421
00:18:54,183 --> 00:18:55,949
so I could cut my meat?
422
00:18:55,985 --> 00:18:58,085
Oh.
423
00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:02,423
Well, I guess you have to eat.
424
00:19:02,458 --> 00:19:04,492
I'll give it right back.
425
00:19:04,527 --> 00:19:05,826
Promise?
426
00:19:05,861 --> 00:19:07,141
Okay.
427
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:15,670
We know we're silly,
but I don't know...
428
00:19:15,705 --> 00:19:17,271
whenever we get together,
429
00:19:17,307 --> 00:19:19,385
you know, we just
have this strange habit
430
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:22,109
of forgetting everybody
else in the room.
431
00:19:22,144 --> 00:19:25,479
Uh, so, how do you get along
with Elaine's children, Bill?
432
00:19:25,515 --> 00:19:27,225
Oh, I love her
children. I love them.
433
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:29,684
And Elaine is a
wonderful mother.
434
00:19:29,719 --> 00:19:32,386
Surprise, surprise.
435
00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:34,262
You know, as a matter of fact,
436
00:19:34,290 --> 00:19:36,535
one of my favorite
children's stories
437
00:19:36,559 --> 00:19:38,404
is about Elaine's son, Jason.
438
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:39,827
Do you mind, darling?
439
00:19:39,862 --> 00:19:41,295
No. Not at all.
440
00:19:41,331 --> 00:19:42,463
Okay.
441
00:19:42,498 --> 00:19:44,164
Um, Elaine had told Jason
442
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,467
that God answers
all your prayers.
443
00:19:46,502 --> 00:19:48,902
So, one night,
before he went to bed,
444
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:52,105
Jason prayed to God
and asked for a train set.
445
00:19:52,141 --> 00:19:54,052
Well, the next day,
he came to Elaine
446
00:19:54,076 --> 00:19:56,377
and he said he'd
prayed for a train set
447
00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:57,712
and didn't get one.
448
00:19:57,747 --> 00:19:59,891
And Elaine was very worried.
449
00:19:59,915 --> 00:20:02,416
And she said, "I'm sorry, Jason,
450
00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:05,052
that God didn't
answer your prayers."
451
00:20:05,087 --> 00:20:06,387
And Jason said,
452
00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:09,657
"Oh, but he did answer
my prayers, Mommy.
453
00:20:09,692 --> 00:20:11,058
He just said no."
454
00:20:11,093 --> 00:20:14,462
That was two or three years ago.
455
00:20:14,497 --> 00:20:16,063
I know, darling.
456
00:20:16,098 --> 00:20:17,798
I didn't remember that story.
457
00:20:17,834 --> 00:20:18,932
How did you remember it?
458
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:22,002
I remember everything.
459
00:20:26,843 --> 00:20:28,141
Oh, listen.
460
00:20:28,177 --> 00:20:32,045
They're playing our song.
461
00:20:34,617 --> 00:20:36,450
May I have this dance?
462
00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:37,785
Of course.
463
00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:39,319
Would you excuse us?
464
00:20:39,355 --> 00:20:41,889
Excuse us, please.
465
00:21:03,312 --> 00:21:06,414
Would you care to dance?
466
00:21:06,449 --> 00:21:11,051
Why don't we wait
until they play our song?
467
00:21:13,055 --> 00:21:15,556
What is our song, dear?
468
00:21:15,591 --> 00:21:19,393
We don't have one.
469
00:21:26,936 --> 00:21:28,335
Boy, we did it. We did it.
470
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,438
We were wonderful,
Elaine, wonderful.
471
00:21:30,473 --> 00:21:32,640
They bought it
hook, line, and sinker.
472
00:21:32,675 --> 00:21:34,374
You know, I was a
little worried at first
473
00:21:34,410 --> 00:21:35,676
that our act wasn't convincing,
474
00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:37,812
but boy, I'm telling you,
you were something else.
475
00:21:37,847 --> 00:21:39,324
Okay, Alex. Huh?
476
00:21:39,348 --> 00:21:41,527
Come on. What do you
mean, come on? What?
477
00:21:41,551 --> 00:21:43,161
Come on, you can
admit that it was
478
00:21:43,185 --> 00:21:44,897
a little more than an act.
479
00:21:44,921 --> 00:21:45,886
What are you talking about?
480
00:21:45,922 --> 00:21:47,032
I don't know what
you're talking about.
481
00:21:47,056 --> 00:21:47,855
What are you talking about?
482
00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:49,356
You're not that good an actor.
483
00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:50,357
What?!
484
00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:51,692
Alex, it's okay.
485
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:55,395
You can confess that
you were a little moved.
486
00:22:00,369 --> 00:22:02,080
Elaine, I hate to
disillusion you,
487
00:22:02,104 --> 00:22:04,404
but all that drivel I
did was for your sake,
488
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:05,473
and your sake only.
489
00:22:05,508 --> 00:22:06,985
Drivel?! Oh, Alex, be honest!
490
00:22:07,009 --> 00:22:08,186
What? Come on!
491
00:22:08,210 --> 00:22:09,387
I saw that look on your face.
492
00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:12,847
I know that that look
means... you were excited.
493
00:22:12,882 --> 00:22:14,281
Oh..!
494
00:22:14,316 --> 00:22:16,016
Get out... You're crazy!
495
00:22:16,051 --> 00:22:17,195
You were.
496
00:22:17,219 --> 00:22:18,418
I was not!
497
00:22:18,454 --> 00:22:19,753
Alex, you were.
498
00:22:19,789 --> 00:22:21,199
Come on. How can you
stand there and pretend
499
00:22:21,223 --> 00:22:23,401
that you didn't feel anything?
500
00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:24,157
How can you lie like that?
501
00:22:24,193 --> 00:22:25,270
Elaine, what are
you talking about?
502
00:22:25,294 --> 00:22:27,305
You were crazy about me.
503
00:22:27,329 --> 00:22:29,441
I'm the most
exquisite work of art
504
00:22:29,465 --> 00:22:31,409
you've ever seen in your life!
505
00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:34,602
Oh, that! No, I'd
say that to anybody!
506
00:22:34,637 --> 00:22:36,136
Oh, Alex, come on.
507
00:22:36,171 --> 00:22:38,606
I've been out with enough men
508
00:22:38,641 --> 00:22:41,375
to know that no
man can get me...
509
00:22:41,410 --> 00:22:44,578
excited like that
if he's just acting.
510
00:22:44,614 --> 00:22:46,480
When we were kissing,
511
00:22:46,516 --> 00:22:48,582
you weren't turned on?
512
00:22:48,618 --> 00:22:50,484
I was playing a part.
513
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,352
Oh, here, I'll show you.
514
00:22:52,388 --> 00:22:54,788
Here, I'll do it again.
515
00:22:56,659 --> 00:22:58,091
See? Nothing.
516
00:22:58,127 --> 00:22:59,259
Nothing?
517
00:22:59,294 --> 00:23:00,460
Nothing.
518
00:23:20,650 --> 00:23:22,215
Nothing.
519
00:23:25,487 --> 00:23:28,321
Oh, really?
520
00:23:28,357 --> 00:23:30,323
Nothing.
521
00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:35,262
Well... I guess I was wrong.
522
00:23:35,297 --> 00:23:36,797
Good night, Alex.
523
00:23:38,634 --> 00:23:40,868
See you.
524
00:23:42,137 --> 00:23:43,971
Good night.
525
00:23:48,377 --> 00:23:51,845
Well, I better go now.
526
00:23:51,881 --> 00:23:54,314
It was nothing.
527
00:23:54,349 --> 00:23:56,116
Nothing.
528
00:24:29,918 --> 00:24:31,496
Night, Mr. Walters.
33217
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