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1
00:01:39,282 --> 00:01:41,249
Latka!
2
00:01:41,284 --> 00:01:43,117
Oh, Louie, hello.
3
00:01:44,421 --> 00:01:46,655
Just the man I'm looking for.
4
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,623
Do you have the correct time?
5
00:01:48,659 --> 00:01:50,091
My watch stopped.
6
00:01:50,126 --> 00:01:52,427
The correct time is
you're eight minutes late.
7
00:01:52,463 --> 00:01:53,495
Oh, thank you.
8
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:54,830
Hold it, here, hold it.
9
00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:55,975
This is serious.
10
00:01:55,999 --> 00:01:57,844
I hope you got a good
excuse why you're late.
11
00:01:57,868 --> 00:02:00,702
Well, do you think
that helping someone
12
00:02:00,738 --> 00:02:03,705
who was almost killed
in an automobile accident
13
00:02:03,741 --> 00:02:05,407
is a good excuse?
14
00:02:05,442 --> 00:02:06,174
No.
15
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:09,277
Then you're going to hate mine.
16
00:02:09,312 --> 00:02:10,278
Hold it, hold it.
17
00:02:10,313 --> 00:02:11,791
I'll let you off
the hook this time
18
00:02:11,815 --> 00:02:13,360
'cause you're not usually late,
19
00:02:13,384 --> 00:02:14,427
but get to work!
20
00:02:14,451 --> 00:02:15,417
Okay.
21
00:02:15,452 --> 00:02:17,919
Hey, Latka, is everything okay?
22
00:02:17,954 --> 00:02:19,855
Oh, yeah, everything is fine.
23
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:23,057
The reason I was late
is because I was dancing
24
00:02:23,093 --> 00:02:25,260
around my apartment with joy.
25
00:02:25,295 --> 00:02:27,440
Oh, yeah? Hey, what happened?
26
00:02:27,464 --> 00:02:29,664
My beloved grandmother died.
27
00:02:29,700 --> 00:02:31,232
That's good news?
28
00:02:31,268 --> 00:02:33,268
No, that's terrible news.
29
00:02:33,303 --> 00:02:36,304
Bobby, what kind
of a person are you?
30
00:02:36,339 --> 00:02:37,539
No.
31
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,541
The-the reason it's good news
32
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:42,677
is because she left me
something very valuable
33
00:02:42,713 --> 00:02:43,678
in her will.
34
00:02:43,714 --> 00:02:45,246
Oooh.
35
00:02:45,282 --> 00:02:46,593
What? What?
36
00:02:46,617 --> 00:02:48,850
Cookies.
37
00:02:52,022 --> 00:02:54,055
She left you cookies?
38
00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,124
But not just any cookies.
39
00:02:56,159 --> 00:02:58,894
See, people used to
come from miles around
40
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,862
just to eat her cookies.
41
00:03:00,898 --> 00:03:03,865
And so last night I
go to the post office
42
00:03:03,901 --> 00:03:05,867
and I pick up the recipe
43
00:03:05,903 --> 00:03:08,737
and the package
with the ingredients
44
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:11,172
and I baked a batch.
45
00:03:11,207 --> 00:03:13,007
You want to try?
46
00:03:13,043 --> 00:03:14,543
Yeah.
47
00:03:14,578 --> 00:03:16,355
I love grandmothers' cookies.
48
00:03:16,379 --> 00:03:17,679
I love them.
49
00:03:17,714 --> 00:03:19,748
Dig in, I hope you enjoy them.
50
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,453
Well, enjoy.
51
00:03:45,909 --> 00:03:47,809
Well?
52
00:03:47,845 --> 00:03:49,243
What do you say?
53
00:03:49,279 --> 00:03:52,914
Well, they're, uh, not bad.
54
00:03:52,950 --> 00:03:54,449
Did you swallow yet?
55
00:03:57,988 --> 00:03:59,420
Did you swallow?
56
00:03:59,456 --> 00:04:02,924
Mine seems to be getting larger.
57
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:06,094
I feel like I'm going to be
chewing for the rest of my life.
58
00:04:06,129 --> 00:04:08,864
You mean, you don't like them?
59
00:04:08,899 --> 00:04:13,368
Well... it's
just... it's just...
60
00:04:13,403 --> 00:04:15,236
it's just the first taste.
61
00:04:15,271 --> 00:04:17,973
I mean, maybe tomorrow
we could have another bite.
62
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,975
You don't like them.
63
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,676
No, no, no. Latka.
64
00:04:21,712 --> 00:04:24,090
You know, tastes vary.
65
00:04:24,114 --> 00:04:26,915
Tastes very what?
66
00:04:26,950 --> 00:04:27,983
No, no, no.
67
00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:29,696
Latka, what I'm trying
to say is that, you know,
68
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:30,685
maybe the people
69
00:04:30,721 --> 00:04:31,865
in your country would love them,
70
00:04:31,889 --> 00:04:33,366
but they might not taste
the same to the people
71
00:04:33,390 --> 00:04:34,689
in our country.
72
00:04:34,725 --> 00:04:36,435
I mean, that's perfectly
understandable, don't you think?
73
00:04:36,459 --> 00:04:38,827
I think that the
people in America
74
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,395
will love my cookies.
75
00:04:40,430 --> 00:04:42,797
And I think I am going
to sell them in the stores.
76
00:04:42,833 --> 00:04:44,332
That's it, Latka.
77
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:47,903
I told you to get back
to work, you foreign dog.
78
00:04:47,938 --> 00:04:49,738
Now get back to work.
79
00:04:49,773 --> 00:04:51,406
What? Foreign dog?
80
00:04:51,441 --> 00:04:54,242
I don't have to
take this from you.
81
00:04:54,277 --> 00:04:56,222
I don't even need this job.
82
00:04:56,246 --> 00:04:58,046
I have the cookies.
83
00:04:58,081 --> 00:05:00,949
And I am going to
be rich and famous
84
00:05:00,984 --> 00:05:03,129
just like the famous Amos...
85
00:05:03,153 --> 00:05:05,921
The chocolate
chip cookie tycoon.
86
00:05:05,956 --> 00:05:08,189
Oh, yeah? Latka,
I'm warning you.
87
00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:10,136
No, Louie, I'm warning you.
88
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,928
You're warning me
when I'm warning you?
89
00:05:12,963 --> 00:05:14,362
I am warning you.
90
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,397
Yeah? You're warning me?
91
00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:18,033
Yes. I am quitting.
92
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:20,134
Oh, no, you're not, Latka.
You're not going to quit,
93
00:05:20,170 --> 00:05:22,470
because I'm going to fire you.
94
00:05:22,505 --> 00:05:24,684
You cannot fire me
if I am going to quit.
95
00:05:24,708 --> 00:05:27,141
No, no, no. You can't
quit because I'm firing you!
96
00:05:27,177 --> 00:05:29,488
But you cannot
fire me if I quit first.
97
00:05:29,512 --> 00:05:30,857
I quit! You're fired!
98
00:05:30,881 --> 00:05:32,213
I said it first.
99
00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:32,981
No, you didn't.
100
00:05:33,016 --> 00:05:34,060
I quit! You're fired!
101
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:35,383
I said it first again.
102
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:37,686
It doesn't matter
who says it first.
103
00:05:37,721 --> 00:05:39,287
It's who says it loudest.
104
00:05:39,322 --> 00:05:40,622
You're fired!
105
00:05:40,657 --> 00:05:42,669
You're fired! You're
fired! You're fired!
106
00:05:42,693 --> 00:05:43,925
I quit! I quit! I quit!
107
00:05:43,961 --> 00:05:46,439
I can't hear you.
You're fired! You're fired!
108
00:05:46,463 --> 00:05:48,296
I can't hear you.
I quit! I quit! I quit!
109
00:05:48,331 --> 00:05:51,165
You're fired! You're
fired! You're fired!
110
00:05:51,201 --> 00:05:53,501
Okay.
111
00:05:53,536 --> 00:05:54,936
But I quit.
112
00:05:56,707 --> 00:05:58,607
You're fired.
113
00:06:05,716 --> 00:06:06,915
I'm fired.
114
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,116
You quit!
115
00:06:08,151 --> 00:06:09,651
Thank you very much.
116
00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:20,695
How you doing, Jeff?
117
00:06:20,731 --> 00:06:22,497
The engine's back together.
118
00:06:22,532 --> 00:06:24,833
Got a few pieces left over.
119
00:06:29,372 --> 00:06:30,839
Close enough.
120
00:06:30,874 --> 00:06:33,407
I'll give this cab to Wheeler.
121
00:06:34,945 --> 00:06:36,210
Louie.
122
00:06:36,246 --> 00:06:38,947
I don't know what I'm doing.
123
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:41,850
It's only temporary... Just
until I can find somebody
124
00:06:41,885 --> 00:06:44,585
who will work as
cheap as the guy I fired.
125
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,320
He quit!
126
00:06:50,894 --> 00:06:52,639
Hey, Lou, want to have
127
00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:54,173
one of Latka's cookies?
128
00:06:54,197 --> 00:06:56,798
I don't want any of
his crummy cookies
129
00:06:56,833 --> 00:07:00,201
and I don't his name
mentioned in this garage again.
130
00:07:00,236 --> 00:07:01,480
Why, Lou?
131
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,038
You miss him?
132
00:07:03,073 --> 00:07:06,041
I had gas I miss more
than the guy I fired.
133
00:07:06,076 --> 00:07:07,776
He quit!
134
00:07:12,315 --> 00:07:15,950
You know, I'm really
starting to like these.
135
00:07:15,986 --> 00:07:19,921
I don't actually like them,
but they're fun to chew.
136
00:07:19,956 --> 00:07:21,522
Yeah, I know what you mean.
137
00:07:21,558 --> 00:07:23,224
They kind of grow on you.
138
00:07:23,259 --> 00:07:25,526
And they last
forever in your mouth.
139
00:07:25,562 --> 00:07:28,262
I put one on the
bedpost last night.
140
00:07:28,298 --> 00:07:30,531
Started on it
again this morning.
141
00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:32,712
Grandma Gravas'
cookies might catch on.
142
00:07:32,736 --> 00:07:36,015
I understand there are four
stores willing to try them out.
143
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:38,217
Hmm? Yeah.
144
00:07:38,241 --> 00:07:39,974
Can you imagine Latka rich?
145
00:07:43,580 --> 00:07:44,913
I'm back!
146
00:07:44,948 --> 00:07:47,381
Hey, Jim!
147
00:07:48,852 --> 00:07:50,618
Hey, Jim, welcome back.
148
00:07:50,653 --> 00:07:52,553
So how was your trip?
149
00:07:52,589 --> 00:07:53,855
Ah, great.
150
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:57,025
Omaha is lovely
this time of year.
151
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,794
I thought you were
hitchhiking to Washington.
152
00:07:59,829 --> 00:08:03,598
I did too, but I
ended up in Omaha.
153
00:08:03,633 --> 00:08:07,268
I must have used
the wrong thumb.
154
00:08:07,304 --> 00:08:10,371
All right, let's get some
cabs on the road here.
155
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,340
Nardo, 316!
156
00:08:12,375 --> 00:08:14,375
Yeah, just a second.
157
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:17,345
Wheeler, 441!
158
00:08:17,380 --> 00:08:19,547
Banta, 221!
159
00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:21,216
Rieger, 544!
160
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,384
See you guys.
161
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,919
Hey, Jim.
162
00:08:24,954 --> 00:08:25,965
Uh-huh?
163
00:08:31,661 --> 00:08:34,061
It's great to be back!
164
00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:42,036
Well, boss... I'm
back from my vacation.
165
00:08:42,071 --> 00:08:44,049
You didn't happen
to run into your brains
166
00:08:44,073 --> 00:08:46,174
while you were
out there, did you?
167
00:08:46,209 --> 00:08:49,076
No, but I wasn't really looking.
168
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:53,892
Well, I'll have a cab for you
169
00:08:53,916 --> 00:08:55,394
in a minute, Gulliver.
170
00:08:55,418 --> 00:08:56,751
Okay.
171
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:01,088
What's all these cookies?
172
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:03,924
They were baked
by a guy I fired.
173
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,426
He quit!
174
00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:12,667
Ooh!
175
00:09:12,702 --> 00:09:17,505
They got a nice
little surprise inside.
176
00:09:17,541 --> 00:09:20,041
What are you talking about?
177
00:09:20,076 --> 00:09:22,610
Well, I could be wrong...
178
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:25,146
but I detect something in here
179
00:09:25,182 --> 00:09:28,616
that's a lot more
powerful than oatmeal.
180
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:32,665
What's in them? What's in them?
181
00:09:32,689 --> 00:09:35,490
Well, let's check this out here.
182
00:09:47,470 --> 00:09:49,136
Coca leaves.
183
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:52,006
Coca leaves?
184
00:09:52,041 --> 00:09:53,608
Uh-huh.
185
00:09:53,643 --> 00:09:55,321
You mean, the stuff
they make cocaine out of?
186
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:57,445
Yeah.
187
00:09:57,480 --> 00:10:02,550
Yeah, from, uh... South America.
188
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,499
Peru, I believe.
189
00:10:27,677 --> 00:10:29,510
Southern Peru.
190
00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:33,214
'74, before the rains.
191
00:10:45,161 --> 00:10:48,062
Poignant, but not overbearing.
192
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,967
Are you telling me
193
00:10:53,002 --> 00:10:55,703
that Latka is selling
cookies with drugs in them?
194
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:56,837
Yeah.
195
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:03,778
Well, my duty as a
citizen is clear-cut.
196
00:11:03,813 --> 00:11:04,823
Yeah. Jeff?
197
00:11:04,847 --> 00:11:07,025
Get the police on the phone.
198
00:11:07,049 --> 00:11:09,850
What do these, uh,
coca leaves do to you?
199
00:11:09,886 --> 00:11:12,287
Well, if you chew
them for a while
200
00:11:12,322 --> 00:11:16,357
you get a feeling of euphoria,
201
00:11:16,393 --> 00:11:19,694
increased energy,
strength and stamina.
202
00:11:21,498 --> 00:11:26,367
It's also rumored to
heighten your sexual desires.
203
00:11:28,237 --> 00:11:30,605
And it makes you see beauty
204
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:33,874
in the most repulsive things.
205
00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:53,194
Did anyone ever tell you
206
00:11:53,229 --> 00:11:56,964
that you have the
most adorable ear?
207
00:12:03,039 --> 00:12:05,250
Police are on the phone, Louie.
208
00:12:05,274 --> 00:12:08,142
Tell them to mind
their own business.
209
00:12:34,270 --> 00:12:36,371
Oh, Elaine?
210
00:12:38,541 --> 00:12:40,074
She's not here.
211
00:12:40,109 --> 00:12:41,275
What you got there, Lou?
212
00:12:41,310 --> 00:12:42,510
Ah, nothing.
213
00:12:47,884 --> 00:12:49,183
Hey, Lou!
214
00:12:49,218 --> 00:12:51,786
Have you been noticing
anything strange about me lately?
215
00:12:51,821 --> 00:12:53,521
Uh... strange?
216
00:12:53,556 --> 00:12:54,856
Yeah.
217
00:12:54,891 --> 00:12:56,591
No, no, no.
218
00:12:56,626 --> 00:12:57,870
Nothing strange.
219
00:12:57,894 --> 00:12:59,137
I don't know.
220
00:12:59,161 --> 00:13:02,463
Feel like I'm sort of... happy.
221
00:13:02,499 --> 00:13:04,910
I got all this energy, you know?
222
00:13:04,934 --> 00:13:06,100
Uh-huh.
223
00:13:06,135 --> 00:13:07,635
So last night
224
00:13:07,670 --> 00:13:09,615
I had a little trouble
falling asleep,
225
00:13:09,639 --> 00:13:11,105
so I wrote an opera.
226
00:13:14,477 --> 00:13:16,477
An-an opera?
227
00:13:16,513 --> 00:13:19,046
Yeah. I never thought
about writing an opera before,
228
00:13:19,081 --> 00:13:20,526
but it sounded
like it would be fun.
229
00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:23,250
It was. I'm going to
write another one tonight.
230
00:13:26,923 --> 00:13:28,701
It just looks like, to me
231
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,969
that you're in a good mood.
232
00:13:30,993 --> 00:13:32,092
Yeah, well, maybe.
233
00:13:32,128 --> 00:13:34,368
I wonder if any of the
others are feeling this way?
234
00:13:50,212 --> 00:13:52,146
I haven't noticed anything.
235
00:13:52,181 --> 00:13:53,681
Hi, guys.
236
00:13:58,020 --> 00:14:00,421
Hey, Bob!
237
00:14:00,457 --> 00:14:01,622
What are you doing?
238
00:14:01,658 --> 00:14:02,757
Huh?
239
00:14:02,792 --> 00:14:04,425
What are you doing?
240
00:14:04,461 --> 00:14:06,060
Afternoon Of The Faun.
241
00:14:09,666 --> 00:14:12,733
There is definitely something
weird going on here.
242
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,301
Hello.
243
00:14:14,337 --> 00:14:15,503
Oh, Elaine.
244
00:14:15,538 --> 00:14:18,606
Listen, uh... Uh... Nardo.
245
00:14:18,641 --> 00:14:19,907
Have a cookie?
246
00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:22,276
Oh, yes, thank you.
247
00:14:22,311 --> 00:14:23,444
I've run out.
248
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:25,057
Louie, I've been having
249
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,526
the most incredible
perceptions today.
250
00:14:27,550 --> 00:14:31,352
Do you realize the entire
human experience of the universe
251
00:14:31,387 --> 00:14:33,888
can be summed
up in one sentence?
252
00:14:33,923 --> 00:14:35,490
Do I! Hold that thought.
253
00:14:35,525 --> 00:14:38,926
Why don't you come
on into my cage here
254
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:41,195
and we'll talk about that...
255
00:14:41,230 --> 00:14:42,797
and sit right there...
256
00:14:42,832 --> 00:14:47,368
and we'll have some cookies...
257
00:14:47,403 --> 00:14:49,370
and a touch of the bubbly
258
00:14:49,405 --> 00:14:53,708
to wash them down
your pretty little gullet.
259
00:14:53,743 --> 00:14:55,275
No, no, no, Louie.
260
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,611
Louie, I'm serious.
261
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,313
I don't know why I
never saw it before.
262
00:14:59,348 --> 00:15:02,316
I have verifiable proof
of the existence of God.
263
00:15:02,351 --> 00:15:04,952
Later, later...
This stuff gets flat.
264
00:15:14,030 --> 00:15:17,197
Damn it, I'm telling you
there's something wrong here.
265
00:15:17,233 --> 00:15:20,568
Bobby Wheeler is
turning into a gazelle...
266
00:15:20,603 --> 00:15:23,538
Elaine Nardo is in the
chamber of horrors...
267
00:15:23,573 --> 00:15:25,740
Here's the
weirdest thing of all.
268
00:15:25,775 --> 00:15:28,943
I'm standing here in
the garage on my day off.
269
00:15:28,978 --> 00:15:31,546
And I came in here just
because I wanted, uh...
270
00:15:31,581 --> 00:15:36,350
some more cookies... Hey, Lou!
271
00:15:36,385 --> 00:15:38,853
There's something
wrong with these cookies.
272
00:15:38,888 --> 00:15:40,766
Rieger, you're
being a real drip.
273
00:15:40,790 --> 00:15:42,701
No, I'm telling you,
Lou, it's the cookies;
274
00:15:42,725 --> 00:15:44,324
they're doing something to us.
275
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,361
No, everybody's just
having a good time.
276
00:15:49,632 --> 00:15:51,365
Look at Banta, here.
277
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:52,678
He's eaten a billion of them.
278
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:53,946
There's nothing
the matter with him.
279
00:15:53,970 --> 00:15:55,335
Tony, how you feeling?
280
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:56,448
I'm fine.
281
00:15:56,472 --> 00:15:57,988
Eh!
282
00:15:58,023 --> 00:15:59,991
Ah, well, maybe you're right.
283
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:02,627
Maybe I am imagining it.
284
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,228
Anybody want any coffee?
285
00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:05,863
Yeah, I'll have some.
286
00:16:53,362 --> 00:16:55,028
Whoo!
287
00:17:05,341 --> 00:17:06,640
Sixteen.
288
00:17:10,913 --> 00:17:12,546
Come in.
289
00:17:17,987 --> 00:17:20,621
Latka... Hello, Alex.
290
00:17:20,656 --> 00:17:21,755
How are you?
291
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:26,360
Fine. Lat... About 24
bags by tomorrow...
292
00:17:26,395 --> 00:17:29,630
supermarket, you
know... Look, Latka...
293
00:17:29,665 --> 00:17:31,832
Isn't it wonderful
how so much success
294
00:17:31,867 --> 00:17:33,712
I'm having with these cookies?
Everyone loves them so much!
295
00:17:33,736 --> 00:17:36,103
You know, and I'm going
to be rich and famous
296
00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:37,438
like Famous Amos, you know,
297
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,173
but, you know, I
would trade it all
298
00:17:39,208 --> 00:17:42,143
if I would only stop
talking for one minute.
299
00:17:42,178 --> 00:17:45,379
Latka, Latka, stop.
300
00:17:45,414 --> 00:17:46,780
Latka, listen to me.
301
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:48,160
There's a drug in those cookies.
302
00:17:49,218 --> 00:17:53,654
No... no.
303
00:17:53,689 --> 00:17:55,300
No... Now, Latka,
304
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:57,136
Jim says there's
coca leaves in them.
305
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,125
What?
306
00:17:58,161 --> 00:17:59,126
Coca leaves.
307
00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:01,162
Coca leaves?
308
00:18:03,599 --> 00:18:06,867
Oh... that must be
the secret ingredient.
309
00:18:06,902 --> 00:18:08,079
Right.
310
00:18:08,103 --> 00:18:10,471
That means it's
going to ruin me.
311
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:12,806
I will not be able to sell
my cookies anymore.
312
00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:14,219
Well, I'm sorry about that.
313
00:18:14,243 --> 00:18:16,377
Now I cannot do it
and my dream is gone.
314
00:18:16,412 --> 00:18:17,744
Oh. No.
315
00:18:27,390 --> 00:18:29,956
This explains why my
grandmother's cookies
316
00:18:29,992 --> 00:18:32,152
were so popular with
musicians in my country.
317
00:18:35,398 --> 00:18:38,699
Latka, you think your
grandmother knew
318
00:18:38,734 --> 00:18:40,934
that there was a
drug in these cookies?
319
00:18:40,969 --> 00:18:42,814
Oh, no, no, no. She
would not know that.
320
00:18:42,838 --> 00:18:45,439
She was a very good woman, Alex.
321
00:18:45,474 --> 00:18:47,941
A very busy, good woman.
322
00:18:47,976 --> 00:18:50,277
She was always knitting
doilies, you know?
323
00:18:50,313 --> 00:18:51,990
A doily here, a
doily there, Yeah.
324
00:18:52,014 --> 00:18:53,347
Doilies everywhere.
325
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:56,283
"Merry Christmas, Latka.
Here is a doily for you."
326
00:18:56,319 --> 00:18:58,096
Oh, everywhere
you look is doilies.
327
00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,187
I'd like to give you
a doily, you old bag!
328
00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:01,322
I'll give you a doily!
329
00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:03,224
I'll give you a doily!
330
00:19:03,259 --> 00:19:05,226
Latka, Latka, Latka,
calm down. Calm down.
331
00:19:05,261 --> 00:19:08,696
Oh, oh, oh, but what is
happening to me, Alex?
332
00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:11,532
I used to be such a sweet man.
333
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:14,635
I used to be so cute
you could eat me up.
334
00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:15,836
Yes, yes, yes.
335
00:19:15,871 --> 00:19:17,082
I know you were.
I know you were.
336
00:19:17,106 --> 00:19:20,474
But that's what happens to
you when you take that drug.
337
00:19:20,509 --> 00:19:23,644
Really?
338
00:19:23,679 --> 00:19:25,346
That's why you got to kick it
339
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,013
right now, right tonight.
340
00:19:27,049 --> 00:19:28,682
You hear me? You
got to get rid of this.
341
00:19:28,718 --> 00:19:30,351
How am I going to do it?
342
00:19:30,386 --> 00:19:31,663
Well, look, first
of all we got...
343
00:19:31,687 --> 00:19:32,897
No more cookies. Yeah?
344
00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:35,055
We're going to get
rid of all these cookies.
345
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:36,056
That's a good idea.
346
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:37,202
We'll start with this one.
347
00:19:37,226 --> 00:19:39,025
No, no, no.
348
00:19:39,061 --> 00:19:41,027
Latka, sit down. Sit down.
349
00:19:41,063 --> 00:19:42,429
Listen to me. Look...
350
00:19:42,465 --> 00:19:46,600
It's going to be a very
tough night for you.
351
00:19:46,636 --> 00:19:47,946
I mean, you're
going to get nervous,
352
00:19:47,970 --> 00:19:48,980
you're going to get anxious.
353
00:19:49,004 --> 00:19:50,036
You might even get sick.
354
00:19:50,072 --> 00:19:54,040
You might even have
hallucinations, delirium.
355
00:19:54,076 --> 00:19:55,887
Latka, you're looking at
the worst night of your life.
356
00:19:55,911 --> 00:19:57,256
Now, I don't want
you to worry about it.
357
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:58,679
I'm going to be right here
358
00:19:58,714 --> 00:20:00,847
going through the
whole thing with you.
359
00:20:00,883 --> 00:20:02,750
Thank you very much.
360
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:05,653
Alex, all my dreams are gone.
361
00:20:05,688 --> 00:20:08,555
I thought I was going
to be rich and famous
362
00:20:08,591 --> 00:20:10,557
like the Famous Amos. See?
363
00:20:10,593 --> 00:20:12,025
But now is nothing.
364
00:20:12,060 --> 00:20:17,765
I thought I was going to
finally get out of the garage.
365
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,544
You know, I did
not want to be rich
366
00:20:19,568 --> 00:20:22,013
for the same reasons that
other men want to be rich.
367
00:20:22,037 --> 00:20:24,015
Oh, you mean not for the
houses, the cars or the women?
368
00:20:24,039 --> 00:20:28,074
Oh, maybe it was
the same reasons.
369
00:20:30,879 --> 00:20:33,057
But you know, I want to think...
370
00:20:33,081 --> 00:20:35,716
but... you know... you know...
371
00:20:35,751 --> 00:20:37,028
Let's try to get
some sleep, all right?
372
00:20:37,052 --> 00:20:38,363
I'll try. I don't
know if I could.
373
00:20:38,387 --> 00:20:41,822
I'm going to stay up and
watch you all night, okay?
374
00:20:41,857 --> 00:20:43,223
All right, thank you.
375
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,441
Famous Amos.
376
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:21,144
I... I don't believe it.
377
00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:24,448
What's happening, Latka?
378
00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:25,783
I don't know.
379
00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:28,452
What's happening to you?
380
00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:31,054
Boy. Welcome to my home.
381
00:21:31,089 --> 00:21:35,158
Thank you, but
I'm not really here.
382
00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:36,527
You're hallucinating.
383
00:21:36,562 --> 00:21:39,029
Oh... I'm only in your mind.
384
00:21:39,064 --> 00:21:41,142
Well, then welcome to my mind.
385
00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:42,933
If I knew you were coming
386
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:45,146
I would have
cleaned it up a bit.
387
00:21:45,170 --> 00:21:49,940
Listen, man, I heard what
happened to your cookies.
388
00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:51,675
It's a tough break.
389
00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:54,277
Oh, that's nice of you to say.
390
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:57,348
I came by because
I wanted to say that
391
00:21:57,383 --> 00:22:01,284
success, fame,
fortune... All that stuff...
392
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,320
It's truly overrated.
393
00:22:03,356 --> 00:22:04,521
Oh.
394
00:22:04,557 --> 00:22:05,922
I wanted to tell you
395
00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:08,525
that the really
important things in life
396
00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:10,126
are the simple things.
397
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,562
Oh, the simple things.
398
00:22:11,597 --> 00:22:13,230
A sunset. Yeah.
399
00:22:13,265 --> 00:22:16,199
The smelling of a flower. Mmm...
400
00:22:16,235 --> 00:22:19,770
I'd like to tell you all
of those things, Latka,
401
00:22:19,805 --> 00:22:21,616
but I can't. Why?
402
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:22,680
'Cause it's a crock.
403
00:22:22,708 --> 00:22:23,674
A crock?
404
00:22:23,709 --> 00:22:24,709
That's right, a crock.
405
00:22:24,744 --> 00:22:27,378
Hey, man, success
is wonderful. Yeah?
406
00:22:27,413 --> 00:22:30,146
Cash is out of sight. Oh...
407
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:32,683
Do whatever you
can to be successful
408
00:22:32,718 --> 00:22:33,995
'cause it's great. Great.
409
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:38,154
And if it happens
overnight, it's even better.
410
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,557
Hey, your cookies went
down the tubes... big deal.
411
00:22:40,593 --> 00:22:41,558
Big deal.
412
00:22:41,594 --> 00:22:42,893
Try cupcakes.
413
00:22:42,928 --> 00:22:43,928
Try jelly rolls.
414
00:22:43,962 --> 00:22:45,529
Aluminum siding.
415
00:22:45,564 --> 00:22:46,742
Aluminum siding.
416
00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:47,931
What's the difference?
417
00:22:47,966 --> 00:22:49,666
Nothing at all.
418
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:52,436
Just get rich.
419
00:22:52,471 --> 00:22:54,271
These are wonderful words.
420
00:22:54,306 --> 00:22:55,751
Man, I just want to
try to help, you know?
421
00:22:55,775 --> 00:22:56,740
Well, thank you very much.
422
00:22:56,776 --> 00:22:57,776
Give me five.
423
00:22:59,978 --> 00:23:01,678
Keep the change.
424
00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:15,893
Bye-bye.
425
00:23:15,928 --> 00:23:18,228
Bye-bye, Famous Amos.
426
00:23:18,263 --> 00:23:21,565
Thank you for the hallucination.
427
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,233
It was wonderful.
428
00:23:23,268 --> 00:23:26,069
Maybe we do it again sometime.
429
00:23:26,104 --> 00:23:27,270
Oh, boy.
430
00:23:27,306 --> 00:23:28,605
Alex. Alex, wake up.
431
00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:29,885
Alex, wake up. Hmm?
432
00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:32,208
I have something to tell you.
433
00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:35,879
I just found out something
very important about myself.
434
00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:38,381
Alex, I want to be
richer than anything.
435
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:40,884
I want to be richer
than the Joneses.
436
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,720
I want to make lots of
money, as much as I can.
437
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:45,422
I want to be rolling in money.
438
00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:50,928
Alex... you know something?
439
00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:53,363
I just became an American.
440
00:24:31,170 --> 00:24:32,730
Night, Mr. Walters.
27794
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