Original subtitles

And here we are, folks, at the famous Polo Grounds. It's been a one -sided

knockdown drag -em -out ball game right from the very first inning.

With the visiting team, the Birdie Gas House Gorillas, giving the home team,

T -Totalers, a shellacking they'll never forget.

Baseball fan. Oh, there goes a screaming liner into left field.

Home team hasn't a chance, but they're in there punchy. Nevertheless.

I'm only 93 and a half years old.

I don't know what could have come over me, sir.

I meant to say, strike.

Listen to that crowd roar as the Gas House Gorillas go up to bat again.

Boy, what a game!

So you think you can beat us all by yourself?

Well, you got yourself a game.

Attention, please.

Attention. There's been a slight change in the teetotaler lineup.

Catching, Bugs Bunny.

Left field, Bugs Bunny.

Right field, Bugs Bunny.

Pitching, Bugs Bunny. Third base, Bugs Bunny. Center field, Bugs Bunny. First

base, Bugs Bunny. Shortstop, Bugs Bunny. Second base, Bugs Bunny.

I think I'll perplex him with my slow ball.

One, two, three, stretch, you're out.

One, two, three, stretch, you're out. One, two, three, stretch, you're out.

Yo, ginger boy.

safe. I said you're out. I'm safe. You're out. Safe. Out. Safe. Out. Safe.

Safe. Out. Safe.

Out. Safe.

Out. I say you're safe. If you don't like it, you can go to the showers.

Okay then, Doc.

Have it your way. I'm safe.

You're out!

What the score, boys?

What did Bugs Bunny do? What's with the Carrot League baseball today?

Bugs Bunny, 96.

Gas House Gorillas, 95.

It's the last half of the ninth with Bugs leading 96 to 95.

The Gorillas have one man on base and two out. A home run now would win the

for the Gorillas.

Watch me pace this pathetic palooka with a powerful, paralyzing, perfect

Pachydermis percussion pitch.

You're out!

I'm out?

That's what the man said. You heard what he said. He said that. You heard what

the man said. He said that. That's what he said. He really said that. That's

what he said.

And that's the end.

Awfully unsporting of me, I know, but what the hay, I gotta have some fun.

And besides, it's really duck season.

It's wabbit season.

Oh, boy, wabbit twacks.

Oh, white wabbit, I know you're there. If you're not out in ten seconds, I'll

blast you out.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Okay, Wabbit.

Now I got you.

What's up, Dad?

I'm hunting wabbits.

It's wabbit season.

Oh.

Wabbit season, huh?

Haven't any luck?

Well, no. As a matter of fact, I haven't even seen a wabbit yet.

You like to shoot me now or wait till you get home?

Shoot him now! Shoot him now!

You keep out of this.

He doesn't have to shoot you now.

He does so have to shoot me now.

I command that you shoot me now.

Let's

run

through that again.

Okay.

Would you like to shoot me now or wait till you get home? Shoot him now. Shoot

him now. You keep on at this. He doesn't have to shoot you now.

Ha! That's it. Hold it right there.

Pronoun trouble.

It's not he doesn't have to shoot you now.

It's he doesn't have to shoot me now.

Well, I say he does have to shoot me now.

time we'll try it from the other end.

Look, you're a hunter, right?

Right. And this is rabbit season, right?

Right. And if he was a rabbit, what would you do?

Yeah, you're so smart. If I was a rabbit, what would you do?

Well, I... Not again.

I'm sorry, fellas, but I can't wait any longer.

Take a peek up and see if he's still around.

Right -o.

Is he still there?

Still lurking about?

I tell you what, you go up and act as a decoy and lure him away.

No more for me, Vance. I'm driving.

Ah, well, like they say, never send a duck to do a rabbit's job.

Okay, come on out. I got you covered.

I...

You're not going to be taken in by that old gag.

Isn't she wuv -wee?

Out of sheer honesty, I demand that you tell him who you are.

Well, haven't you anything to say? Anything?

Out of sheer honesty?

Yes,

I would just love a duck dinner.

I apologize, madam, for suspecting your integrity.

Now's your chance, Hawkeye! Shoot him! Shoot him!

He's got me dead to rights, Doc.

Would you like to shoot him here or wait till you get home?

Oh, no, you don't.

Not this time.

Wait till you get home.

All right.

You're despicable.

What do they do on a rainy night in Rio?

What do they do when there is no starry sky?

Oh, starry sky.

Where do they go when they can't go for a walk?

Do they stay home and talk?

Or do they sit inside?

Oh, my gal is a highborn stepper ginger with salt and pepper. She's a fancy

stepper when she dances. Go and see her as she gives us in Francis. My gal don't

do much talk and dances, even when she's walking. One and two and three and

four, she dances all day long.

Oh, my gal is a highborn stepper ginger with salt and pepper. She's a fancy

stepper when she dances. Go and see her as she gives us in Francis.

What's up, Jack?

Also a rabbit hater.

Oh, well.

Uh -oh.

Of course you know this means war.

Thank you.

Bye.

Hurry, hurry, hurry.

Step right this way, friends. Right this way.

Yes, sir, ladies and gentlemen. The greatest aggregation of talent ever to

presented on any vaudeville stage.

Fifteen sensational acts.

Fifteen elaborate scenes.

Pardon me.

Flipping is in clumsy. The world's false jugglers.

Fearless Freep and his sensational high diving act.

Fearless Freep!

That's my boy!

Wee -wee!

Stay beside, son. You're part of me.

Yes, sir, gentlemen.

Fifteen sensational acts for fifteen cents.

Give me a ticket.

Give me a whole mess of them.

I'm a splurgeon.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, let me direct your attention to the high -diving

platform 500 feet above the stage.

From this dizzy height, fearless freak, the wild's most daring high -diving

artist, will execute his death -defying dive into a bucket of water laced upon

the stage below.

Now, ladies and gentlemen... Oh, uh, pardon me just a minute.

Hello, Graham.

Delayed by storm. Stop.

Arrive... tomorrow. Signed, Fearless Freak.

Ladies and gentlemen, due to an unfortunate delay, Fearless Freak will

unable to perform his high -diving act today.

What?

I paid my four bets to see the high -diving act, and I'm gonna see the high

-diving act.

Well, you see, friend, the fellow that... Oh, yeah?

Well, someone's gonna do it.

That someone's a -gonna be you.

Me?

Oh, no, Doc, not me.

You see, I'm scared of high places. I get dizzy spells.

Goosebumps are my goosebumps.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you talked me into it.

No stalling. Now keep a -moving.

Close your eyes while I put on me bathing suit.

Oh, all right. But make it snappy.

Ready!

Splash!

Bug!

And gentlemen, for our next attraction... I said I aim to see you

-a going to.

Well, here I go again.

One for the money, one for the show, three to make ready, and four to go.

Bon voyage.

Uh -oh.

Forgot to fill the tank with water.

Well, where is he?

Where's the critter at?

What's up, Doc?

Great horny toad, what are you doing down there upside downy?

I'm not upside down, Doc. You are.

Just a minute, you.

Them's fighting words.

Yeah, them's fighting words.

I dashed you to step across this line.

I'm a -stepping.

I hate you.

Open up that door.

You notice I didn't say Richard?

Come on, open up or I'll bust her down!

Uh -uh.

You're...

Let's see you get out in this one.

This time you're a diamond.

I know this defies the law of gravity, but, uh, you see, I never studied law.

Boop boop!

Cotton -picking minute.

This don't look like the Coachella Valley to me.

I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.

Oh, well, I'll just ask this gent in the fancy knickerbockers.

I think it was... Pardon me, sir, but could you direct me to the shortest

route to the Coachella Valley at the Big Carrot Festival, Darian?

Stop steaming up my tail!

What are you trying to do, wrinkle it?

Let's see now, uh, Coachella Valley.

Hmm.

Into Las Vegas, San Bernardino.

Of course you realize this means war.

Meet public.

What a gullible.

What an in -cow poop.

Okay, Taro. Whenever you can spare the time.

What an imbecile. What an ultra maroon.

Uh -oh.

Hooray for Hollywood.

That's Rooey Valley, hooey Hollywood.

Where any office boy or young mechanic can be a panic with just a good looking

pan.

Start talking. It's your nickel.

Who?

Disassociated Press.

The public has been demanding my life story.

Well, I can tell it to you right over the phone.

You got your pencil ready?

First, I was born, which goes without saying. But even in the hospital, the

I arrived, I knew I was different from the other kids.

I couldn't figure out why at first. Then suddenly it came to me. I was a rabbit

in a human world.

I soon displayed a talent for music.

My parents gave me a toy piano to play with, and I took to it right away.

When I was a little older, I was sent to dance in school.

At school recitals, I was always selected to demonstrate various dances.

After graduation, I was ready for the big time, and offers poured in.

Gee, this will never be a hit.

After much consideration, I finally accepted an important part in the hit

Girl of the Golden Vest.

Oh, we are the boys of chorus, we hope you like our show. We know you're

for us, but now we have to go.

Then came Wearing of the Grimm.

Oh, we are the boys of the chorus. We hope you like our show.

We know you're rooting for us, but now we have to go.

Then my big smash, Rosie's Cheeks.

Oh, we are the boys of the chorus. We hope you like our show. We know you're

rooting for us, but now we have to go.

Finally, my big chance came.

The star was sick, and I was to take his place.

through with show business until I get the right part.

Things were tough that year.

A lot of actors were out of work.

Hey, fellas.

Here comes Elmer for that big Vonderville star.

I hear he's looking for a partner for his act.

Mammy. Mammy.

Here's a sunny boy.

Nobody else is.

Look at me, Mammy.

Mammy. Mammy.

Mammy. Mammy.

Mammy.

every evening ain't we got fun not much money but oh honey ain't we got fun you

must have been a beautiful baby bugs

funny why are you hanging around with these guys they'll never amount to

anything you got too much talent i need you in my act I'll give you equal

billing. You'll be a star.

You're great. You're wonderful.

I need you. What do you say, Bugs? We rejoiced the act and opened in Peoria.

I don't know, Mr. Fudd. What is it that has four legs and flies?

A horse in summertime, stupid. I

give

up, Mr.

Fudd. Why is the state of Ohio different?

Because it's high in the middle and wound on both ends.

Ohio!

I

think I'll try

some changes in the act to mix performance.

Hey, Pinhead, do you know how to make antifweez?

Yeah, hide a nightgown.

Meh, what's up, Doc?

We got something, Doc. Let's do it again.

Meh, what's up, Doc?

This hit.

Offers poured in from all over the country.

And then came Hollywood and Warner Brothers where I was launched on my film

career.

Okay, roll them.

Hey, what's up, Doc?

What's cooking?

What's up, Doc?

Oh, you're looking for bugs, bunny bunting. Doc is gonna hunting just to

rabbit skin, but now the rabbit's gonna get... What's up?

Especially for me.

Whoops. I'm due on the set. Goodbye.

We hope you like our show. We know you're rooting for us. But now we have

You were terrified.

Yeah, yeah.

Pete Puma.

And there he is now.

I'd know that grimy paw anyways.

You wait over here, Buster. I'm going up and give that Joker a workout.

as long as I can keep the big phony in front of me. And I ain't gonna turn my

back on him.

What's up, Doc?

I got a little rabbit in this hole, and I'm gonna catch the little rabbit and

eat him up.

It's often me. What do you think you're doing?

Well, you told me to, you told me to, you told me to.

How about having a cigar?

Gee, thanks.

Hmm, nice.

Well, I think I'll have to be going now.

Oh, no, you can't leave yet.

You gotta have a nice cup of tea with me.

Associable as a nice cup of tea.

I always say.

How many lumps do you want?

Oh, three or four.

Oh, dear. I gave you one too many.

Well...

Better see you home, shorty. On account of I don't trust that sneaking puma no

footer than I could throw the big mo.

Darling, come to your mama.

I'm Mrs. Rabbit.

You want us to pull a fast one on Pete.

Well, okay, Shorty. Now this is what we'll do.

cousin Paul, Puma. I just dropped by for a little social call, cuz.

Say, mighty tender -looking little rabbit squab you got there?

Yeah!

Well, what are we waiting for?

Let's start the fire and frigazium.

You start the kindling and I'll get the coal.

a whole lot of lumps.

Oh no you don't. I'll help myself.

My baby.

My mechanical masterpiece.

So nearly complete. So nearly perfect.

If you only had a living brain.

Wee bits more.

But it will have to do.

What's up, Doc?

What's going on around here?

Where am I, anyway?

Oh, dear.

Delays. Delays. Nothing but delays.

Rudolph. There is a rabbit loose in the castle, Rudolph.

Return him to me and I shall reward you with a spider goulash.

Bobby pins, please. But the most interesting ones are the monsters. Oh,

that'll never stay. We'll just have to have a permanent.

Now, I've got to give an interesting old lady a manicure. But I'll be back

before you're done.

Well... That's that.

Hey! What the... What's going on? Who, what, where are these...

Never send a monster to do the

work of an evil scientist.

Now be a cooperative little bunny and let me have your brain.

Sorry, Doc, but I need what little I've got.

Nighty night.

Nighty night.

nightmare.

sanctuary in a hurry.

Those hunters will make possum pepper out of me.

Too

bad

to disappoint those eager nimrods.

What's up, Mac?

Trying to pull an X -gate, 777 -174, huh?

Oh, you're mistaken, Mac. You see, I'm not 777 -174. I'm only three and a half.

Three and a half?

Okay, so you're three and a half.

Yeah, my mother told me there'd be days like this.

or my name ain't Sam Schultz. Hey, prisoner escaping.

Quick!

Oh, no, I'm not. I'm outside.

You're inside.

I am?

Well, then get in here.

Boo -hoo.

Now I'll never see my wife and titties again. Boo -hoo.

up if you weren't wearing a uniform.

Oh, I wouldn't, huh?

Right on.

Lift the door.

I guess you would, all right.

and what you've done for Mary and her kids, see?

Here, follow the map inside and you can't go wrong.

What is the meaning of this?

I won't stand for any more of your nonsense! Come get out! Out!

some good reports about you.

Oh, pardon me. Have a light.

Warming up for you, Schultz?

Yes?

I've got all the top jewelry I'm going to take from you. Quiet!

One more slip and you'll break both heads and you'll be looking for another

Now get out!

Am I not magnificent?

Hello,

Colonel Corny speaking.

Nope, I don't need another animal act.

What? A performing rabbit?

Fah! He can do what?

Okay! Send him right over. I'll put him in the act with Bruno, my acrobatic

bear. Bah!

Nobody shares this... with Bruno the Magnificent, especially a stinking

rabbit.

little partner.

I was afraid something terrible had happened to you.

What you know about that?

Now, who you suppose put that envelope there?

Hmm. Innocent is a newborn baby.

Baby rat, that is.

Did somebody call my name?

Here, someone wants you on the phone.

Here.

Hello.

Hello, Bruno.

What you doing way up there in the air all by yourself?

Goodbye.

Good.

than one too skinny rabbit.

Swing!

I don't know how you do this, but if you could do it, Bruno could do it better.

That does it. You've ruined the act. You're too clumsy.

From now on, I'm on my own.

What you think you gonna do?

Oh, me?

Oh, I think I'm gonna dive 200 feet off in this platform into a tank of water.

Goodbye.

Nobody could outdo Bruno the Magnificent. I dive 300 feet into bucket

water.

feet into a damp sponge.

And I, Bruno, will dive 1 ,000 feet into a block of cement

on my head yet.

Say, that's a good stunt. I'll buy that. But the star goes first.

Here I go.

One way to wind this up with a bang.

Now, true as you, sir, turn left at Cucamonga till you hit Los Angeles.

Then straight out Wilshire Boulevard to the La Brea Tar Pits.

Hmm.

Don't look much like Los Angeles to me.

I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.

Look at that horrible monster attacking

that poor old lady.

He put up a terrific battle, ma 'am. But clean living prevailed.

You've ruined my pipes.

I'm going to... Hey, wait a minute.

You're no woman. You're a man.

Certain I'm a man. And what's wrong with that?

What's wrong?

What's wrong, he says?

Well, you can't go around like that.

It's indecent.

Indecent?

It ain't got no two pair of pants, but it'll do till you get home.

Now... Now, one good point deserves another.

Could you point out to me the shortest route to the La Brea Tar Pits in Los

Angeles?

La Brea Tar...

It's been in the family for years.

Oh, McCrory.

Put you on my property.

I'm displeased, McCrory.

You shouldn't have shoot my rabbits.

Your bunny rabbit didn't belong to you.

At dinner?

No, at dinner.

Want to bet? No. We'll settle this in true Scots tradition.

At games.

Games?

pigeon. Sit down.

No, no. We didn't play that game.

Is there another one?

Golf. Golf?

Aye, golf.

Choose your weapons.

Have it your way, Mac.

But don't you get a little tired running them 18 bases?

A hole in one.

Not bad.

Four! Four?

Three and a half.

A hole in one?

Why, you little kiddie, you little four -flusher, why you can't...

Uh -huh.

Two.

Two?

Fifty -five.

Fifty -five? The gentleman in the pittamore bed's fifty -five. Do I hear

Going at 55. Going at 55.

40. Do I hear 25?

Do I hear 10?

Do I hear 5?

Do I hear 2?

I'll make it 1, and that's my final offer.

1 it is.

I win.

That was a dirty bit of cheating.

Cheating? Why, that identical situation occurred in the New Hebrides Open.

Caduffa plays Vosha's Fuddle in 1918.

And what about Frannis, Vosha's Skin Fritter?

Huh, Bisbo, Vosha's Storgen in the Casablanca Amateur.

Cheating indeed.

Huh, the noise.

Display that the weight of evidence is greatly against me.

But you still cannot beat me at the pipes.

There's nothing like a Westville vacation in the mountains.

Oh, boy, peace and relaxation.

Yellowstone National Park, a Westville retreat.

Oh, boy, now for a real good rest.

Welcome to Jell -O -Stone, Doc. A restful retreat.

Oh, brother.

Doggone you, schoolie with a wasco. I'll get you.

Now for a nice west.

Goodness, I must have overslept. It's night already.

I've got to get to bed.

Well,

I'll be doggoned. Morning already.

How time flies.

I do this kind of stuff to them all through the picture.

What a grand view of the canyon from up here.

Up here! Uh -oh.

Say, you had a close call, Doc.

Yeah, somebody must have twerked me.

You know, Doc, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if it was me that tricked you.

Say, I believe you.

When confronted

by a quiz, we bear white flat on the ground and pray dead.

Above all, we remain absolutely motionless.

West will we tweet.

Bologna. I'll show you.

Take that. And that. And that.

Peace and we waxation, huh?

Wubbish. Take that. And that. And that.

And... Hello?

Well,

anyway, I'm rid of that grizzly bear and screwy wabbit.

West and we waxation at West.

Pardon me, but how long you in for, Doc?

Pardon me, but how long you in for, Doc?

On this platform, I stand for union.

Union suits and union stations.

For the little people.

There's enough fresh air and sunshine in this great country of ours for

everybody. And I'll see to it that you'll get your share.

TV'd ought to get me a lot of...

I hate that rabbit.

Nobody will vote for a flattened out rabbit skin.

I always say.

I like you, Rabbit.

You're a good Joe.

Someone knocking at your front door, Rabbit.

Excuse me, Doc. I'll be right back.

In little bitty pieces.

That was someone for you, Sam.

She said to mention St. Louis.

St. Louis?

Stupid rabbit!

Anyone for Russian roulette?

Welcome to my shop. Let me cut your mop. Let me save your crop.

Daintily.

Daintily.

Hey, you.

Don't look so perplexed. Why must you be mixed?

Can't you see you're next?

Yes.

How about a nice glow shave? Teach your whiskers to behave. Lots of lather, lots

of soap. Please hold still, don't be a dope. Now we're ready for the scraping.

There's no use to try escaping.

Yell and scream and rant and rave. It's no use, you need a shave.

Ooh, ouch, ouch, ooh, ouch, ooh, ooh, ouch. There, you're nice and clean.

Although your face looks like it might have gone through a machine.

What would you want with a wabbit?

Can't you see that I'm much sweeter?

I'm your little senorita.

You are my type of guy.

Let me straighten your tie and I shall dance for you.

No. No.