All language subtitles for Beverly.Hills.90210.S10E20.Ever.Heard.the.One.About.the.Exploding.Father.1080p.PMTP.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-iRMAS_track3_[eng]

(Maddy crying)

She's been crying for hours.

It's been 35 minutes.

Honey, sweetie,
I need you to unlock the door.

I'm gonna do it, Steve.
I'm gonna pick her up.

No, no, no, no.

Chapter seven, page 114.
Hold on, hold on.

"To learn to sleep
without being held

"or rocked, the child
must be gradually weaned

from the behavior."

Aah!

(grunts)

She needs me, Steve,

and you're being a big meanie.

Don't make me the bad guy.

Ryan already made me
the bad guy.

Ryan is 19,
and if he can't sleep,

he can get up and watch TV.

He used to read books.

Oh, he used to be
a straight-A student.

Now he's a college dropout.

What happened?

Ask him.

(Steve sighs)

(Maddy continues crying)

Can I trust you to wait here?

Yeah, right. Come on.

(Maddy continues crying)

(sighs)
So, where you been, Ryan?

Out.

Ryan, do you know
what a big decision this is?

Do you know
what you're missing out on?

- An education.
- And frat parties

and four-day weekends

and geographically-confined
coeds. Huh? Huh?

(Maddy continues crying)

Is there something going on here
I don't know about?

In Steve's own
incredibly peculiar way,

- he's just trying to help.
- That's right.

That's why you and I should
sit down and we should

write a letter to the dean
and explain the situation.

What do you think?

I think Maddy's crying.

What do you say
we go get something to eat?

No, it's better if we stay put.

You know, I've been in
the Witness Protection Program

for seven years now.

I've been under the thumb

of a U.S. marshal,

so I understand feeling trapped.

I saw your life, Jack.

I saw your house.

Looks a lot cozier
than the, uh...

the urn I picked out for you.

Was I supposed
to see the explosion?

Is that how it works?

I walked to the car.

An FBI agent grabbed me,
threw me in a van.

I didn't know where or when.

You knew you were leaving.

You had to give 'em some kind
of information to make a deal?

They gave me a chance,
and I took it, yes,

but it meant walking away
from every part of my life,

including you.

So, why are you here?

Because you came after me.

Christine Pettit tell you that?

No, Kelly called me,
and I'm glad she did

because it gives me
a chance to tell you

how sorry I am, Dylan.

Look, I only have a few days.

You got less than that.

Get out.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Welcome home, baby ♪

♪ It seems like forever ♪

♪ So glad you're back
into my life ♪

♪ I've really missed you, baby ♪

♪ My poor heart was breakin' ♪

♪ So glad you're back
into my life ♪

♪ You were there for me ♪

♪ You picked me up
off the ground ♪

♪ When I was feeling low ♪

♪ You led the way and then
I found the answer, baby ♪

♪ It reached
my heart and soul... ♪

I sent the press kit to every
publication on this list.

Well, how many people RSVP'd?

Uh, these editors
have confirmed,

- and the question marks
are maybes. -Cool.

I hope you've been on the phone
promising favors.

What kind of favors?

Free clothes,

uh, Laker games,

dinners poolside
at the Mondrian.

Uh, I-I don't know about that.

They'll show up for the clothes,
not because of favors.

I just got a call
from WTRL in New York.

They want to fly me out tonight
for an interview.

- David, that's amazing.
- KELLY: Wow.

How long has that
been in the works?

It hasn't. I-I don't know.

I guess a-a producer
was in town,

and-and he heard my show on the
radio in the car. I don't know.

I'm set up tonight at 10:00
to fly on the red-eye.

- How does that happen so fast?
- I don't know.

Um, I got to pack, all right?

But, uh...

I'll-I'll call you
in like an hour. Wish me luck.

Hey, we'll all meet up about
7:00 and give you a send-off.

See you at the club.

Wow. New York.

It's far, huh?

We've been together a month.

If he gets this job,
we're finished.

MATT:
As far as I can tell,

it seems like a simple
breach of contract.

It felt more like
a breech birth.

"Breach-breech."
That's-that's very good.

So, Mr. Durka, the club owner,
signed you up

for a six-week stint and
you only performed one night?

Oh, yeah, yeah. You ever been
to the Chuckle Factory?

That's longer than most
of the roaches stick around.

Bing! Where'd they go?

Yeah, uh, Durka said
that I cost him

all of his two-drink minimums
and canned me.

Doesn't matter if everyone left.
He signed the agreement.

We'll get you the cash.

And that crowd was so horrible,

we should countersue
for combat pay.

Whoa, careful!

People have no idea,
do they, what goes on

with the spotlights,
the sweaty hands, the heckling?

Oh, who told you what goes on
in my bedroom?

Get out of here. What?

Point is, you are an artist,

and your craft
should be respected.

You had one bad night. So what?

I wouldn't call it
a bad night.

It was more like
comedius interruptus.

There may not have been
a laugh in the house,

but no one has the right to fire
you because they say you stink.

Talent is subjective.

Ask my mother.

She's a blind house painter.

Bong-bong.

Right.

Hey.

I left you two messages.

You were there, right?

I mean, I chose
not to contact my father.

You knew my decision.

Dylan...

Answer me.

You're mad.

I knew you would be.

And I... I don't blame you.

Yeah, well, I'm glad
you're at peace with it.

Is he here in town?

- He's at some motel.
- Why don't you go see him?

Because if I wanted to see him,

I would have knocked on his door
when we were in Arizona.

You got scared of something
you want too much.

Dylan, he's your father.

He is risking his life
to see you again.

Yeah, after seven years.

Well, I've seen what those years
have done to you.

Well, then, you should know it's
not going to be fixed in a week.

And that's how long he's here.

Your life can change
in a second.

Just go to him, Dylan.

Tell him everything
you've ever wanted to tell him.

Even if it's just good-bye.

(dance music playing)

Bartender, can I...?

Excuse me. Can I...?

Hello? Am I invisible?

Hardly.

Yeah, well, get
the bartender's attention

and you'll be
my new favorite person.

Really?

Noah.

Ryan. How you doing, man?

- What's going on?
- What's up?

What can I get you?

Whatever the lady here desires.

Uh, two red wines.

You got it.

Who are you?

I'm Ryan--
your new favorite person.

(chuckles)

I'm Sheila.

Hi, Sheila.

My friends and I have a table
over in the corner,

if you'd like to stop by.

Yeah. Yeah.

Two red wines. Here you go.

No, no, no. No friend of Ryan's
pays for a drink here.

Oh.

Definitely stop by.

Okay.

Guess if you know the bartender,
you move

- to the head of the class, huh?
- (laughs) That's right.

When are you going
back to Amherst?

Uh, I'm not.

Really?

What are you going to do?

We're-we're still waiting
over here.

I... the barback called in sick.

He's got a tattoo infection.

Appealing and hygienic, huh?

- Right.
- Hey, you know, Noah,

if you need someone
to help out around here...

How hard is it to hand us
a couple beers?

Can you handle that?

- Piece of cake.
- All right.

You got a job. Get back here.

I put in a call to Jane Thayer

at the L.A. Chronicle
about the party.

Actually, Jane's assistant
RSVP'd. Thanks.

Oh, she constantly double-books.

Trust me.

I was her researcher at Verve.

Yeah, I know.

You said that a few times.

I have contacts you can use.

Aren't we all on the same team?

Yeah, we, uh...
we appreciate your help.

- We do.
- Mm-hmm.

Excuse me.

There is something
so know-it-all about that girl.

Doesn't it bug you
just a little?

No, not at all.

(chuckles)

MATT: Okay, so they got
the physical thing going on,

but, see, what makes or breaks
a relationship is humor.

Mmm. Then why are we
still together?

Oh!

Oh, boy. Okay, hold on a sec.

I got a joke. I got a joke.

- Here we go. (clears throat)
- Okay.

All right, this drunk
goes before a judge, right?

And the judge says,

"Hey, you've been brought here
for drinking."

And the drunk says,
"Okay, when do we get started?"

Okay, we're dancing now.

(slow rock instrumental plays)

Hey.

DAVID:
Mmm. Thank you.

I'll be right back.

All right.

Hi.

Hello.

(David laughs, Donna chuckles)

- You know what I was just
thinking about? -Hmm?

Do you know
how enormous our phone bills

are going to be
if you move to New York?

(David sighs)

Yeah. You know what?

If I do actually
get a job there,

I'm sure it'll end up being
the late, late shift.

So I probably won't be able
to call you from the office.

We can e-mail each other.

Yeah?

Um, has Camille said anything
to you?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, she's, um, worried
it's too soon

for a long-distance
relationship.

She's probably right.

(laughs) Maybe I'll ask her
to move to New York with me.

(David laughs)

Hi.

Hey.

- Mmm.
- Mmm.

You okay?

Mm-mm.

(knocking)

Went to a church once in Rome,
and I prayed for you.

Seemed pointless.

I didn't want to talk to God.

I wanted to talk to you.

I'm listening.

Well, you better step back,

'cause I'm pretty pissed.

(Dylan sighs)

I don't know where to start.

Well, I, uh...
I heard you went to Europe.

When did you get back?

What are you doing now?

Easing into things.

Easing out.

It's hard.

(phone ringing)

Go ahead.

Hello.

WOMAN:
Oh, hi. I'm glad I caught you.

- Hi, honey.
- How'd the meeting go?

Everything's fine here.

WOMAN:
No problems there?

JACK:
No. It-It went well.

- Really?
- It did.

Listen, sweetheart,

it's, uh... it's late.

I know. I know, but, uh,
you should get some sleep.

I-I'll be back in a day.

- WOMAN: I love you.
- I love you, too.

Bye.

Who was that, your wife?

Lisa.

What's your son's name?

Jack.

Your namesake.

Course, not a lot
of people know that.

Does she?

JACK:
Yes, she does.

I didn't tell her about this,
though, because, uh...

'cause there was a risk.

She'd have been frightened.

So, it's just a business trip?

You told her you were a crook,

in bed with the Feds?

Yeah.

Yeah, I did.

But you didn't tell her

about me.

It's been a long time, Jack.

I forgot
where your priorities are.

(Maddy crying)

STEVE:
She won't eat.

She won't take her pacifier.

Maybe she's wet.

- She's exhausted.
- Mmm.

By the time
she cries herself out,

she can't get enough sleep.

Well, you know
this is the right approach.

Right, like your approach
to Ryan?

Ah, higher education,
looser women.

You know what?

Four years of casual sex
is a terrible thing to waste.

He'll get his degree.

That's the most important thing.

(sighs)

Hey.

Close the club again?

All in a day's work.

And Noah gave me a job.

You're working at the club?

Yep.

Oh, by the way, um,

I'm crashing at Noah's
until I get a place of my own.

(crying continues)

(knocking)

Did you see your father?

This is not a follow-up call
you want to make-- believe me.

Listen, I know that it
was difficult and awkward...

No. Awkward is hearing your
own father deny that you exist.

That's awkward.

Why don't you tell me
what happened?

I grieved over him for years.

I lost my wife, 'cause I-I
was filled with hatred

and wanted revenge.

You know, it-it was my life
that ended

when that car blew up, not his.

And you, you just keep
pushing me into that.

- I'm just trying to...
- (phone ringing)

Hello.

JACK:
Dylan, I need to talk to you.

Meet me at the beach tonight.

It's my father.

He wants me to meet him tonight.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I thought Kelly was picking up
the party supplies.

Um, yeah, but she had
to go see Dylan,

and it was on my way, so...

Mmm. Well, Jane Thayer called
from the L.A. Chronicle.

She can't make it to the party,

but I'll take her to lunch
when she gets back from Paris.

Or you could just set it up
for Kelly.

She is my publicist.

Donna, I do her a favor,
and all I get is attitude.

What's with her?

(phone ringing)

Now Wear This.

DAVID:
Donna, hey, it's me.

(gasps)
Hi!

Um, uh, well,
when's your big interview?

They rescheduled for tomorrow.

- That's a bad sign, right?
- No.

No, it just means they had
to reschedule it.

DAVID: I'm supposed
to have coffee with one

of the producers
in a few minutes.

Get a lay of the land, you know,

so I don't make an ass
of myself.

Oh, well, they'd be lucky
to have you.

I got to go. Um...

Oh, well...
well, thanks for calling.

And good luck
with everything, and...

and if you get a chance,
just call me later tonight.

- Donna.
- Yeah?

Um, is... is Camille there?

(chuckles)
Sure. Hold on.

Sorry. It... it's David for you.

Okay.

- Hi.
- Hey.

I miss you.

I miss you, too.

I'm just going to...

DAVID:
You'd love it here.

CAMILLE:
I know.

The, uh, shows, the restaurants.

I think I'm a New York girl
at heart.

Uh, if we were together,
I'm sure I'd find

some way to keep warm.

CAMILLE (laughs):
Good, good.

That's the whole point.

The defense is free
to call its first witness.

The defense calls Stuart Patton.

JUDGE GONDEK:
Mr. Patton, I must remind you

that you are still sworn in.

Yes, sir.

Judge.

ATTORNEY:
Mr. Patton,

why did my client hire you?

I am a stand-up comedian.

The contract was for comedy.

And would you define comedy
as any joke,

satire or humorous performance
designed to make people laugh?

No. That would be

the before and after pictures
of Linda Tripp.

(Stuart chuckles)

Uh, I guess so.

- Yes.
- Well,

we have a 12-member audience
right here.

Why don't you take
your best shot?

Objection.

ATTORNEY:
Your Honor,

whether or not Mr. Patton
is funny

is the central question
in this case.

Mr. Durning has doubts
about his client.

Overruled.

Mr. Patton, one joke
from your performance

at the Chuckle Factory
should be sufficient.

Sure, that's fine.

Hey, everybody.

Uh... so,

um...

these two peanuts walk
into a bar,

and one of them is accosted.

Shoot. Um...

He's bothered.

Uh...

Assaulted?

Your Honor, I'd like to move
for a continuance.

(music playing,
indistinct chatter)

How do you do that?

It's a trade secret.

Which I will trade you
for your number.

Call me.

I will.

(chuckling)

Yeah.

Nice job perk.

Ryan, I think we should talk.

About what?

About this. It's no life.

Looks pretty good to me, man.

You know what I mean.

Ryan, you're too good for this.

Why don't you grab your stuff

and come back to the house?

He's okay with me.

You're not
helping me here, Noah.

Look, Noah gave me a job.

Yeah, but you're underage.

I'm a barback--
which means I can serve drinks;

I just can't pour them.

Which is what I do legally here
at my job.

STEVE:
You know what?

You can do whatever
you want to do,

yet you choose
to make gin and tonics.

I'm sorry,
but that pisses me off.

It's my life, Steve. My choice.

Get your stuff.

Steve, I don't want to step
on your toes, but...

Well, then don't.

You know what, Noah?
This is my brother,

and I don't want him to turn out
like you, okay?

So, if you want company,
go to an AA meeting.

KELLY: So, you're happy
with the media response

to the party?

Oh, yeah.

You did a great job.

Tell that to Camille.

Does she think I can't write
my own press release

and that I can't talk
to editors?

She just has her own opinions
about what works.

Very strong opinions,
just like you.

(chuckles)
Only opposite.

Which, by the way, makes you
feel oh, so comfortable.

Look, if she seems
kind of pushy...

Well, she certainly pushed
her way into David's world.

Oh, look at that.

I seem to have forgotten
the salad dressing.

You know, after you broke up
with Noah and Gina left,

you and David
started hanging out a lot.

- Your point being?
- Mmm.

I just noticed that he's not
calling after midnight anymore.

Yeah, that's 'cause Camille
asked him to.

Which, I mean, she's right.

He really shouldn't be calling

some ex-girlfriend
at 2:00 in the morning.

"Ex-girlfriend." Wow.

I haven't heard you say that
in a while.

Usually, guys are just friends.

We are.

Well, then, she shouldn't
be jealous, should she?

No, she shouldn't.

I think... she just knows
that I want what she has,

which is a great guy.

It's just not David.

Pretty serious guy.

Well, he's almost
as talkative as you are.

Look, what is it you want?

I want us to be together.

You're about
seven years too late.

I know I made
a thousand mistakes, all right?

And this isn't fair to you.

But unfortunately,
we don't have time

for your incredibly justified
anger to pass.

I just want you
to consider this for a moment.

- I just want you to...
- Well, I can't.

What, you're here one minute,
then you're gone again?

- I'm not gonna do that.
- It's not gonna happen again.

How am I ever supposed
to believe you, Jack?

(vehicle approaching)

Because, this time, I'm willing
to bet my life on it.

I'm leaving
the Witness Protection Program.

Or you're coming in.

Those are the choices.

It's time to go.

I saw the car.

Turned back out onto PCH.

Well, it took its time
going through the lot.

It also slowed near you.

Think about it.

Just... think about it.

Sheila wants juice;
and you know what?

I want whatever Sheila wants.

(chuckles)

What's this?

Organic chemistry.

Yeah, I found it in your stuff
when I was cleaning up.

Guess what.

I can't understand a word of it.

(chuckles)

Noah, you party all night,
and you hang out all day.

Trust me, buddy,
you don't have to.

Steve tells me
you're a smart kid.

Yeah.

Sheila wants juice,
Sheila gets juice.

- Hey, I'm a genius.
- Ryan.

Your brother says you have a lot
of opportunities right now.

Look, I don't care
if he's right or wrong,

but I'm here to tell you,
I had a lot more.

Believe me.

Somewhere along the line,
I got...

thrown off the road
and never got

- back on track.
- What happened?

It's not important
what happened.

Yeah, it is.

- Look, Noah, we're friends.
- Yeah, we are friends.

But your friend here gave up an
Ivy League education for what?

For this?

Look, I told myself

I'd go back after a year.

Guess what.

I never did.

I want you to realize
how important and permanent

this decision could be
for you, man.

(knocking)

(chuckles):
Hey, hey.

Hey, Dad...
people remember you here.

Apple fritters from Stan.

Did you hear what I said?

You keep coming here,
people are gonna recognize you.

Your little brother
is gonna love Stan's.

So you decided.

I can't ask you to give
everything up to be with me

when I'd give nothing up
to be with you.

Except your safety.

The guys I testified against
are either dead or in jail.

- I should be fine.
- Should be?

What about that car
the other day?

That driver was looking
for a place to park.

For that,
he got the third degree.

Yeah, by people
who are supposed to protect you.

Look, any protection
I'm getting now,

we can afford
to pay for ourselves.

I can be safe, free
and in your life.

What does your wife say
about it?

I haven't told her about it yet.
I thought maybe

you, me, we tell her together.

You'll like her, Dylan;
she's a good person.

What about little Jack?
What do we tell him?

I'll tell him
he's got a big brother.

Down the road, he'll have
questions; I'll answer them.

But he's four.
And in another year,

he'll have no memory
of life without you.

Just forget his past, huh?

We work hard enough,
we can forget ours.

(clapping)

Okay.

I thought you said
being funny didn't matter.

Well, legally, it doesn't,
but we're practicing

because a giggle or two
can't hurt, okay?

Now, look at the bright side:

The jurors
can't walk out on you.

Hey, guys, can we hurry up?

We got some work to do.

- Oh.
- Come on.

(clears throat)

Ladies and gentlemen,
Stuart Patton.

(applause)

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you very much.
Oh, you're too kind.

I've been fighting this, uh,
stage fright, you know.

Been talking
to a shrink about it.

Guy never says a word.

(panting softly)

And, um, so I said...
I said, uh, finally,

"What-what...
what do you think, Doc?"

And he says...

"I think...
I think you're crazy."

And I said--
naturally, I said, um...

- (quietly): Is he kidding?
- Shh.

Um...
(chuckles)

"I'd like a second opinion."

And he says, "Okay..."

- "You're ugly, too!"
- (Ryan and Noah laugh)

- Shh.
- I'm sorry.

(stifled laughter)

That's right.

I want to drop the case.

That's no joke.

Not that you could
tell the difference.

Look, forget about this.

This was a bad idea.

You can't give up;
you still have a case.

Maybe, but it's pretty clear
I don't have a career.

(Maddy crying)

Ryan's not gonna call.

You know that as well as I do.

He's gonna meet some girl
at the bar, he's gonna take her

back to Noah, and I'm not gonna
hear from him all night.

I can't stand this anymore.

How do you think I feel?!
He's my brother!

Your brother's gonna be fine.

Your daughter, on the other
hand, may be scarred for life.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

She's just testing us.

If you pick her up, she's gonna
stop crying immediately.

Because she'll be comforted.

She's got to learn
to comfort herself.

Steve, she's 16 weeks old.

Right, right, right.

And if you go up there,

you're gonna be
rocking her to sleep

until she's 16 years old, okay?

Look at Ryan.

Kid's off track.
And the older you are,

the harder it is
to get back centered again.

I don't want that
happening to Maddy.

There's a picture of you
in the CU yearbook,

in drag, hanging upside down
from the KEG House roof.

I got a lot of dates
from that picture. (laughs)

My point is,
you were on the idiot track.

I beg your pardon.

I was the president
of the KEG House.

Okay, so you were
the idiot in chief.

(sighs)

But look at you now.

You're back on track.

Sort of.

Ryan will be, too.

(Maddy continues crying)

I can't stand this anymore.

I'm going for a walk.

(phone ringing)

Hello.

DAVID:
Donna, I got it.

You what?

I got the job.

Oh, my God, that's unbelievable!

The station manager-- this guy
is just... he's incredible.

I mean, we agreed on everything.

Oh, that is so great
and completely deserved.

Hello? David.

Yeah.

Where'd you go?

It just hit me that, um...

that I'm moving.

Yeah, you are.

I'll miss you.

I'll miss you, too.

So, um, what did Camille say?

Haven't told her yet.

Really?

I just kind of picked up
the phone and dialed.

Me.

Yeah.

Well, maybe we should,
um, hang up

so you can call
and tell her the great news.

Do you mind if, uh,
we just talked a little more?

No, not at all.

- Hey.
- Hi.

How'd it go?

Um, really well.

- Yeah?
- Uh, yeah, I think, yeah.

Good, good.
Tell me all about it.

Listen, um,

you did this for me.

I mean, I-I walked away,

but you made it happen.

So, what's next?

Well, he's-he's gonna
leave the program.

Really? Is that allowed?

Yeah. Witness Protection
is a courtesy.

I mean, you can walk away
anytime you want.

It's also a precaution.

Are you worried?

Well, his testimony
is pretty much old news.

And today, we met with
this private security firm,

and you will be amazed
at the coverage money can buy.

What about his family?

I mean, his other family.

Well, we're gonna fly
and see them tomorrow night.

I'm so happy for you.

Yeah. And you know what?

I'm-I'm just happy,

for the first time
in a long time.

That's good to hear.

Yeah.

Thank you.

I didn't do anything.

You did everything.

And I don't know
if I've mentioned it lately,

but, um... Matt's a lucky guy.

(door opens)

STEVE:
Hey.

Ryan home?

Yeah.

He's still sleeping.

I left a message.

Actually, I left a message
for the both of you.

Hey, I would've called you back,
Steve, except I didn't want

to get lectured
on how pathetic my life is.

Remember?

I said those things because I
was afraid of losing my brother.

I exaggerated to make a point,
and I did it at your expense.

I'm sorry, Noah.

(chuckles softly)

Apology accepted.

(door opens)

Got any coffee?

Yeah, it's on the counter.

Sheila, this is
my brother, Steve.

He's the one that's trying
to get me back on track.

On track for what?

Exactly.

Would you excuse us, please?

(sighs)

See Maddy's still
keeping you up late.

Yeah.

We've been going by this book.

Or at least I-I thought we were.

Till I realized
I missed the section

about how you have to treat
some kids differently.

Look, I'm not a child, Steve.

I know.

I missed that, too.

You know, that's funny.

You quoting a book
about parenting.

(chuckles softly)

Ryan, whatever you want to do
with your life is fine with me.

Even if it means

staying in business
with this fool.

(laughs)

Come on, Steve,
go easy, will you?

RYAN:
Listen, uh,

why don't you hang out
and stick around for breakfast?

I've got to get to work.

I love you, Ryan.

I love you, too, Steve.

- Thanks, buddy.
- All right, Steve.

See you, buddy.

(knocking)

Agent Williams.

I remember.

Will you come with me, please?

The defense recalls
Stuart Patton to the stand.

You can do this.

I told you I wanted
to drop it.

Mr. Durning, your client's been
called to the stand.

I know, Your Honor, but, um...

uh, well, to be honest,

he's a little intimidated
right now.

After all, he is surrounded
by lawyers.

You can always tell
when we're lying.

Our lips move.

Objection!

Which, uh... which reminds me
of this fertility case.

Yeah, it turns out lawyers
and sperm have a lot in common.

Both have about
a one-in-three million chance

of becoming a human being.

Seriously, folks, I-I...

I know that this can all be
very confusing.

But there's good news.

No matter how complicated
the case,

you'll always know
what to call a lawyer

with an IQ of 50-- "Your Honor."

- (chuckles)
- No, seriously,

Your Honor, my client, Stu,

has all the love
and respect for the court,

and he hopes that you will soon

recover from
your charisma bypass. Whing!

(all laughing)

Now, I'm glad that you all
find this amusing.

And so does my client.

Because it's his material.

Hello, Dylan.

What do you want, Christine?

Your father's in danger.

That's a step up.

Last time I was here,
you told me he was dead.

We picked up his name
in a conversation

we were monitoring.

Not that I believe anything
you say, but go on.

The conversation was between
two guys he testified against.

They know he's alive, Dylan.

So I'll be sure and mention that

to the private security company
that we hired.

Are we through?

He needs our protection, Dylan.

If he comes out of the program,
he won't have it.

Are we finished?

He's only doing this for you.

(sighs)

So if something goes wrong,
it's all my fault?

Can you live with that?

You don't leave me much choice.

You may not like what I did,

but I did it to protect Jack,
no matter how I felt about him.

Can you honestly say
that you're doing the same?

(Maddy crying)

JANET:
Are you sure about this?

Yeah, but you do it.

Hi, little peanut.

Hi. You want to come see me?

That's why
Mommy and Daddy are here.

Hi. Oh, hi.

You know what this means.

What does this mean?

It means a lot of hours
rocking her to sleep.

I know, but I can't think
of anything else

that I'd rather do. Can you?

No.

Hey.

Is this a bad time?

No.

Come on in.

I, uh... I wanted
to say good-bye.

Where you going?

I'm gonna travel.

Maybe spend some time in Europe
with Dad.

And then I'm gonna enroll
in CU.

- Really?
- Yeah. You know,

I thought about it, and I put

way too much pressure on myself
the first time around.

So I thought I'd, uh,

get a little perspective
before going back.

I think that's
a really good idea.

Are you sure

- this is what you want?
- Absolutely.

I mean, for God's sake,

someone in this family
has got to be a professional.

- (Janet chuckles)
- Hey. I'm a professional.

I may not act very professional,
but I'm a professional.

(chuckles)

Why don't you two professionals
go out and celebrate tonight?

You know, flaming shots
are my specialty.

- Really? Huh.
- (Janet laughs)

And I thought you wouldn't learn
anything working at a bar.

(knocking)

You're late. Let's go!

Come on!
Plane leaves in an hour!

Justin Imperioli.

Frank Rugarello.

- Does that ring a bell?
- Yeah.

Two guys I helped
the, uh, Feds nail. Why?

They know you're alive.

So, uh, you want
to use La Cienega

or 405 this time of day?

I heard a tape, Jack.

They know you're in Los Angeles.

And if you stay here,
they'll find you.

We agreed to use
private security.

Yeah, when we thought that
your testimony was old news,

and obviously it's not.

Christine tell you this?

She wants you to be safe.

So do I.

We'll never see each other
again, Dylan.

(voice breaking):
I hated you for a long time.

You don't know what it's like
to hate your father.

It ruins everything.

I don't hate you anymore.

Come with me.

- You got a plane to catch.
- Dylan, come with me.

- Shut up.
- Dylan.

I got to make this work.

(sobbing softly)

It works.

Now it works.

No more interviews, please.

Well, you're the one paying
for the publicity.

I've never seen so many

big-name editors in one place
at one time.

Well, your designs are
responsible for that, not me.

Any word from David?

Well, you said he was coming
straight from the airport.

I can't believe he took the job.

I mean, I understand why he did,

but God, I'm just
so sad about it.

Mmm, excuse me.

Kelly's done a really great job,
don't you think?

Yeah, yeah,
she really pulled it off.

Yeah, well, maybe you should
tell her how you feel.

Oh, Donna, I'm sorry.

You're right.

My mind has been elsewhere.

Yeah, right. On-on David.

Um, Camille, about that, it's...

uh, you've known David,
what, a month?

I mean, we've all known David
practically his whole life.

And just try to understand
and keep in mind

that it's gonna be really hard
on all of us when he leaves.

So, you're telling me
that you convinced a jury

of Stu's peers that he's funny?

Well, I convinced them
that his material was funny

and that he has a bright future
in sitcoms.

- How did you do that?
- I am glad you asked.

See, there was this lawyer,
and his mother said to him...

What are you doing?
No, this is good.

This one's good.

(David sighs)

You just can't shake
some people, can you?

You know, it's funny.

You think you can,
you think you have,

and you travel across country
for the job of a lifetime.

You just realize there's no way.

MAN:
Yeah, thanks a lot!

You gonna take the job?

- Uh-uh.
- Because of Donna?

You going in?

I don't think so.

CAMILLE:
Hi! Hi!

I missed you!

I missed you, too.

How's this for a surprise?

I'm dating Henny Youngman.

Question:
Can you suddenly realize

that a breakup was stupid?

I mean, a really old breakup?

Is there some sort of statute
of limitations?

- What are you talking about?
- Well, what if

I'd looked everywhere else,
only to finally realize

that what I want
is right in front of me?

Are you saying
that's what it is?

I think maybe I'm still
in love with him.