Original subtitles

And that's Orville and Adele,

my great grandparents on my mother's side.

Voila, that's the Smith family tree.

(kids clapping)

Okay, so, who would like to present their family tree?

Yeah, you. Blue. Come on up.

Thanks, Donna.

Okay. Let's-- Let's do it like this, I think...

(chuckling)

I'll start here with my great-great-great-great-great

Granny Marie.

She had one leg bigger than the other.

My great-great-great-great...

...my cousin Will.

...great-great-great gran...

...my great-great-great-great great-great...

...great-great-great...

Cousin... ...Grandpa Cyril...

...my great-great-great...

...my great-great-great cousin Teddy, Auntie Fred.

...great-great Grandpa Rick.

And then finally there's me.

But both my legs are the same size.

(kids clapping lethargically)

Wow. That was very...

...extensive.

And now to explain my mum's side.

Kids: No!

(kids groaning)

♪ Yes, I can love you, baby ♪

♪ All night long ♪

Roger: Welcome to Treaty Days,

where the Res shuts down for a weekend of fun,

friendship, and deadly competitions!

Don't forget to drop by at the RCMP tent

to pick up your treaty money.

Nothing like getting five bucks a year for signing

an old tapeanak treaty back in the 1800s.

I haven't collected my treaty in 20 years.

I'm about to get a big pay day.

Five bucks a year for 20 years? You'll be rich!

Don't worry, I won't let it get to my head.

I'll still be the movie man.

That reminds me. You got my USB?

You won't believe it.

I was walking over with your USB

and my pants caught on a log.

A wolf came out of nowhere, real hungry looking.

It was me or the USB.

That's the second USB you said got eaten, Ed.

You're cut off!

You can't cut me off.

Lil' Tony already cut me off.

Let me make it up to you. I got a hot tip.

The treaty line actually starts over here this year.

Really?

You look tired. If you wanna sleep for a while,

I'd be happy to keep our spot in line.

You're still cut off, Ed.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Rest your eyes, sweet prince.

I'll wake you up when the Mounties come.

(gasping)

What the fuck?

Ed!

Hey! Shouldn't-a banned me.

(groaning)

Hey, Jo. That exercise machine you ordered

came in on the barge.

Oh. That's great news, Brady. Thanks.

Uh, there is something else.

The band office didn't make the last payment,

so there's still $1000 owing.

Dammit, Deedee.

Sorry, but North Store policy states that if it doesn't get

paid in the next two days, it goes up for sale.

Dammit, Brady.

It's okay, I get it.

So long as nobody else is interested, I'll be fine.

There is someone else in the mix.

This is Laughingstick in the morning

saying I am in the mix.

What the hell, Roger?

Ol' Laughingstick's gotta get buff,

cause he's got a photo shoot for his annual

Hot Babe of Grouse Lake Radio calendar.

Just buy it and put in the gym so everyone else can use it!

Nah, I'd really like to be the only one getting jacked.

Hello, how else am I gonna make the cover?

It's your own damn calendar!

(groaning)

Damn it, Mom. Deedee was supposed to make the last

payment on the workout machine and she bailed.

We still owe 1000 bucks.

Chickadee: Damn, mom.

All you talk about is that skinny teen machine.

Jo: I made a promise.

As a band councillor you're supposed to help your people.

The only thing that can help those teens now

is Lightning Legs.

We need to go sign up with Rita.

Who's Lightning Legs?

Agnes: Tell her.

No one's called me Lightning Legs in a long, long time.

It was 2002.

Your Uncle and I were a big deal in pairs jigging.

Across Indian Country we were known as

Lightning Legs and Bannock Boy.

Uncle was a great dancer, but he was always late,

'cause he's lazy and selfish.

Make some-- Give me some room up here.

Jo: The competition was about to start.

Seriously? Would it kill you to be on time?

Jo: He was sick of me, I was sick of him.

Go on then! Go on!

Jo: He quit jigging on the spot.

Chickadee: So that's why he only does eating contests now?

Jo: There's more.

I needed a partner fast,

so I went to the person who taught me.

- (narrating) He had fast legs. - Faster!

Faster!

Go faster!

But I made him go too fast.

He's too fast.

(audience clamouring)

You're going to kill him!

- (exploding, crowd screaming) - Paul: He exploded!

I vowed never to jig again.

Roger: They're struggling really hard,

and the yellow flag is still in the middle,

and they're getting closer,

and they won!

Why you lookin' all sad arse?

Jo's all pissed at me because I let Roger put

his name in for the exercise machine,

but that's just store policy.

Okay, you're a grown man,

you've got to stop whining and shoot your shot.

You think I have a shot?

No.

Oh.

Okay, I'll help you out,

but you're way too predictable

and way too available.

But I'll help you again.

I will start a rumour.

Oh, yeah? What kind of rumour?

Are you going to, like, make up girlfriend for me or something?

Yeah, get this,

you and Rita are an item.

Oh. Um...

Not sure that's the kind of rumour I need.

(groaning)

Hey, Movie Man, how's the weather back there?

(groaning)

You greasy son of a bitch.

Whoa, somebody left a full

pot of coffee over here in the bush.

(sniffing)

Still smells fresh.

I'm not falling for it!

Where's the coffee then, boy?

Hey, who here's been screwed over by Ed?

Ed: You're gonna turn on me?

After all the money I borrowed from you?

Fuck off, Ed.

Nobody fucks with the Movie Man.

(ringing bell)

Hey! Lookin' good, brother.

Did you get a new hat at the big noggin store?

What do you want, Jo?

Nothing.

I'm just saying hi to my baby brother

who I miss doing fun stuff with.

Fun stuff?

Like the time you set my ant farm on fire?

(chuckling) You're so funny, Paul.

Sometimes at night

I can still hear them screaming.

Hey, here's a crazy idea,

wanna sign up for pairs jigging?

(laughing)

I hate asking for favours,

and I need the prize money to help the skinny teens.

What do you say?

You're being the one that's funny.

Lightning Legs and Bannock Boy back together?

Are we all forgetting that the last time that

you jigged with somebody, he literally exploded?

Plus, my plate is full with eating contests.

It's my payday today, not yours!

I'm not the one that's going to explode!

Yeah you are!

Besides, I don't even have my outfit.

It's at the old school, in my old locker.

In the scary part.

Uncle chicken shit over here.

No one's scared of the old school. Right, ma?

Yeah, for sure.

I go in there all the time.

Unlike Paul who's scared of everything.

As if.

Boo.

Get out of here!

(laughing)

Yeah, it's all true. I snagged myself a young man

and he's got a good job, too.

Sign me up for singles.

Oh, I'm sorry. Singles is full.

Only pairs left.

Roger: Looks like old Iron Stomach is in the lead again,

and there's no chance for Grumps.

(crowd cheering)

(slapping table) Cheque please!

Fucken', Iron Stomach.

Sign me and Paul up for pairs.

Rita: Oh!

Lightning Legs and Bannock Boy!

It's a Treaty Days miracle.

(dinging)

Mm, cheque please!

- (dinging) - Mm, cheque please!

I don't think I can go on.

Just kidding!

Mm, cheque please!

Get another fucking catch phrase

Unbelievable. Congratulations, man.

Hey, can we talk?

I can't. I gotta go do this interview.

Paul, your fans want to know,

what's your secret?

You know, you can't leave anything on the table.

You know? Like, we train for this

all summer long with hunting dogs.

I lived as one of them.

Very disciplined. We would eat until we threw up.

Shout out to the boys.

Sparky, Shadow, Buddy.

We did it! (laughing)

Yes, you did it. Congratulations, man.

♪

We should get outta here.

We need to find Paul's costume.

My mom's entering this jigging contest for you hot rods.

- (rattling) - (gasping)

Fuck sakes.

Yeah, me and the North Store manager

got a good thing going.

Oh, and he's a good lover,

puts my needs first.

And he got me pregnant too.

My grandkids are going to be uncles.

(laughing)

That Rita stuff was just a dumb rumour.

I didn't get her pregnant. I only like her as a friend.

How could you?

Just hear me out.

I signed us up for pairs jigging.

I'm done with that shit!

Plus, I just ate nine pounds of pie.

Please?!

I need that prize money.

Well, you should have thought about that before you decided to

become a giant arsehole your whole life.

Those skinny teens aren't your responsibility

and they sure as hell ain't mine.

You should try responsibility sometime.

I don't just get everything handed to me.

Like the lodge.

That's bullshit, Jo.

You've never wanted that lodge.

You always thought you were better than me,

so why should I help you?

Hey! You guys better stop fighting about

shit that doesn't matter.

I know some ants that did and they got burned alive.

I miss them every single day.

Man: Excuse me, young man.

May I?

My arthritis is bad.

Oh, yeah. Sure. Yeah. Okay. No problem.

Ed?

Get the fuck outta here, Ed.

Fucking Edna.

(knocking)

Hurry up, it's freaky in here.

Would you hold still?

Boy: Think I saw bat shit.

(eerie whispering)

That bat said my name.

I'm in.

Eerie Voice: Murder.

There's nothing there.

(knocking)

Both: Holy shit.

That wasn't even scary.

Boy: Woo!

Roger: This is Laughingstick coming at you

live from pairs dancing.

It's elimination style.

You dance 'til you can't dance no more.

Give it up for tonight's judge, Lips.

(crowd cheering)

Let's have a clean dance.

Nothing slips by Lips.

You hear?!

What the hell, Lips?

First place prize is a thousand bucks.

(audience cheering)

Second place, a big ass ham.

(applauding)

This is pairs, so, if you're not a pair,

get off the floor.

I'm looking at you, Jo.

Hey, I was already looking at you.

Okay!

(gasping)

Roger: Wait! What's this?

It's Bannock Boy! I can't believe it!

Lighting Legs and Bannock Boy are back together!

(cheering)

Nice to see you come out of retirement.

How'd you get your old outfit back?

Oh, uh, a little birdie helped me out.

Let's go!

Dancers on your marks.

Will Jo push Paul to the grand prize

or to the nursing station?

For me, I hope it's nursing station,

cause papa wants a workout machine.

And go!

- (cheering) - (music playing)

You're dead! You're going down, Jo!

Shut up, Beanpole!

♪

We're down to the last two teams.

It's Lightning Legs and Bannock Boy

Versus The Furious Steppers.

♪

(people cheering, clapping)

♪

I need a break.

There are no breaks, Paul.

Push it!

I'm so sorry, sister.

I know I'm a shit brother.

I know I'm spoiled, but it's-- it's just--

it's so hard to be good at anything

when you're good at everything.

It's not about you, Paul!

Go faster!

Go faster.

Faster!

Faster, come on!

Paul: You're going to kill him!

(exploding)

Faster!

Push it!

Push it!

You better not even...

(retching)

He exploded!

The machine is mine!

(cheering)

The winners are the Furious Steppers!

Next time you see me,

I'mma have a gold fucking tooth.

Whoo!

Roger: Now everyone, give it up for Jo and her big ass ham!

Hey, um, don't tell my mom I said this,

but thank you for at least trying.

I knew we wouldn't get the exercise machine.

Hey, the great ones always explode.

Sorry I let you down.

Here, take this.

No, that's your money.

It's the easiest money I ever made.

The teens need that machine.

Thanks, but it's still not enough.

Don't worry.

I got all the answers to your problem right here.

I haven't collected my treaty money in over 20 years.

You know what that means?

That you have $100?

That's it?

Fuck.

Well...

you can have it.

Uh, thanks, but we're still short.

Now it's time for the freestyle!

My girl, slam the ham.

It's not over until you're finished dancing.

♪

You're doing good, my dear. You're doing really good.

Looks like the community's throwing down tribute.

♪

(crowd cheering)

Everyone! Excuse me, everyone.

Hi, uh, there's been a lot of talk about my love life today,

and I just want to just say, for the record,

all the rumours are true.

Rita and I are definitely a thing.

She's having my child.

And I can't wait for us to start our new life together.

(crowd exclaiming)

That was a nice thing you did for your sister.

I dunno.

It kinda feel like I'm growing up in real time.

I'm glad you said that, because I think I'm pregnant.

(retching)

Ew!

Jo: So, Rita, eh?

Oh, um...

We're not really together.

I know.

I just think it's really sweet of you to play along.

Uh, thanks.

Josephine.

Stay the heck away from my man.

Oh. I'm so sorry, Rita.

Yeah, I talked to Agnes.

I'm happy to make Jo jealous, but just to let you know,

you're just a friend.

I know, Rita.

Yeah, just a friend, no benefits.

I get it, Rita.

Can I tell you something?

Of course.

I think I'm going to run for Chief.

Hells yeah!

Can I tell you something?

I think I'm going to be a dad.

Damn.

Hey.

You're gonna make a great Chief.

And you know what?

You're gonna be a dad.

Thanks?

Roger: Another Treaty Day celebration has come and gone.

No gettin' buff machine for Laughingstick,

but no sweat. It's times like these,

that I find myself reflecting on the season

that is coming to a close.

What a wild ride we've been on,

Grouse Lake.

I believe this belongs to you.

Hey, speaking of wild rides,

how many of you been bucked off a bison?

Lines are open.

♪ Held my tongue in a code of silence ♪

♪ Assessed the worth of the Oka violence ♪

♪ And it's been a fight for what is right ♪

♪ Ancient treaties denied ♪

♪ 1990 calling, Indian Summer ♪

♪ You could feel the beat ♪

♪ Of a distant drummer ♪

♪ So strong with pride ♪

♪ Side by side ♪

♪ We shared a social changing tide ♪

♪ Got to run as one now ♪

♪ It's begun, and I feel the beat ♪

♪ Of a different drum ♪

♪ And close our ranks ♪

♪ And give our thanks ♪

♪ To the spirit up above ♪

♪