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1
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,339
Welcome, uncles
and little uncles.
2
00:00:06,373 --> 00:00:08,608
As the deadliest uncle
in Grouse Lake,
3
00:00:08,641 --> 00:00:12,045
I'm pleased you've come to me
to learn the ways.
4
00:00:12,078 --> 00:00:14,781
First thing you need to know
to be a deadly uncle
5
00:00:14,814 --> 00:00:16,783
is the Uncle Shuffle.
6
00:00:16,816 --> 00:00:19,252
(laughing) So dope!
7
00:00:19,285 --> 00:00:21,654
♪
8
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,523
Start real simple.
9
00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:25,959
You don't want to bust a hip.
10
00:00:25,992 --> 00:00:28,828
Just sway back and forth.
11
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,431
It's about endurance.
12
00:00:31,464 --> 00:00:33,900
Uncles gotta be
on the floor sometimes
13
00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:38,438
from 6:00 PM
right to the neon moon.
14
00:00:38,471 --> 00:00:40,840
Nice moves, Stephen Harper.
15
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:43,009
Add some feet now.
16
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:46,780
Yeah, yeah.
17
00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:48,581
More hips, Lips.
18
00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:49,349
Like this?
19
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:53,053
(laughing)
You're a natural, boy.
20
00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:57,257
Now, the most important part
of the Uncle Shuffle,
21
00:00:57,290 --> 00:01:00,093
the arms.
22
00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:02,028
Whoa, boy!
23
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,497
That's too big, Sterling.
24
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:06,399
You wave your arms
around like that,
25
00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:08,868
how you gonna carry
auntie's purse for her?
26
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,571
♪
27
00:01:11,604 --> 00:01:13,273
She went to the bathroom.
28
00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:17,143
Now, act like
you've just seen a deadly auntie
29
00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:19,913
and point your lips over to her
30
00:01:19,946 --> 00:01:22,449
so the other uncles can see.
31
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:23,683
♪ All night long ♪
32
00:01:23,716 --> 00:01:26,653
Sterling, you're all over, man.
33
00:01:26,686 --> 00:01:30,323
You're pointing at all
the aunties, gettin' greedy.
34
00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:32,725
You're gonna get
run outta town!
35
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,360
Look at Lips.
36
00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:35,361
Such discipline.
37
00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:37,931
♪ In my eyes ♪
38
00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:38,965
(tape recorder turning off)
39
00:01:38,998 --> 00:01:40,900
What the heck
are you guys doing?
40
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:44,270
Is that my purse?
41
00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:46,306
S'up, auntie?
Check out my moves.
42
00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:51,144
Ta-ta-ta-cha-cha-cha-cha.
43
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:53,713
Cha-cha-cha.
44
00:01:53,746 --> 00:01:54,881
Shit.
45
00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:56,082
Too much arms.
46
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:59,986
♪ Yes, I can love you, baby ♪
47
00:02:00,019 --> 00:02:03,756
♪ All night long ♪
48
00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:05,592
Up next,
49
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:08,094
a tale fit
for a Hollywood movie.
50
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,096
A spooky one.
51
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,499
Unless you've been
hiding under a rock,
52
00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:14,067
you've heard of Mr. Witch Face,
53
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,703
the bank robber
who wears a Halloween mask.
54
00:02:16,736 --> 00:02:17,737
Like this one.
55
00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:20,006
♪
56
00:02:20,039 --> 00:02:23,743
Oh, scary.
57
00:02:23,776 --> 00:02:26,713
To date, Mr. Witch Face
has struck 11 banks
58
00:02:26,746 --> 00:02:27,847
across the prairies,
59
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:30,183
with nothing
but a sharpened broom.
60
00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:31,251
This week,
61
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:33,720
the story took a dramatic turn.
62
00:02:33,753 --> 00:02:36,756
Police were finally able
to apprehend Mr. Witch Face,
63
00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:39,626
but while being transported
to prison by plane,
64
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:41,661
Mr. Witch Face jumped out
65
00:02:41,694 --> 00:02:44,097
over the wilds
of northern Manitoba.
66
00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:46,032
I headed to Grouse Lake
First Nation,
67
00:02:46,065 --> 00:02:47,767
a remote fly-in community
68
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,102
400 kilometres northwest
69
00:02:49,135 --> 00:02:50,503
of Winnipeg.
70
00:02:50,537 --> 00:02:53,973
Just one of the communities
in which Mr. Witch Face
71
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,009
could have landed.
72
00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:58,011
While typically a sleepy town,
73
00:02:58,044 --> 00:03:01,281
the people of Grouse Lake
are now gripped with fear.
74
00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:05,785
Will they come face to face
with Mr. Witch Face?
75
00:03:05,818 --> 00:03:09,289
♪
76
00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:11,891
Did I say "Mr. Witch Face"
too many times?
77
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,460
Ah, screw it.
The editors can figure it out.
78
00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:16,462
(laughing)
79
00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:20,033
(sighing) Classic fuckin' Brian.
80
00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:22,635
And now we gotta stare
at his mug all day?
81
00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:24,237
No, man.
I live for this idiot.
82
00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:25,205
Do you know how fun it was
83
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,940
cutting his International
Woman's Day story?
84
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:30,043
He said a lot of dumb shit
in that pink hat.
85
00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:31,878
How does this guy still have
a job?
86
00:03:31,911 --> 00:03:33,346
I don't know,
but it's awesome.
87
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:36,249
Look at him. It's like he thinks
he's in Jumanji.
88
00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:38,785
Feels like he's gonna bring
out a lion cub on a talk show.
89
00:03:38,818 --> 00:03:41,087
Let's just get this over
and done with, Judah.
90
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:43,957
What do we got here?
91
00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:46,492
Well, technically, I...
92
00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:50,063
I'm sorry.
93
00:03:50,096 --> 00:03:52,332
What was the question again?
94
00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:55,335
I didn't ask you a question yet.
95
00:03:55,368 --> 00:03:56,302
So tell me,
96
00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:58,938
how has the fugitive affected
your business?
97
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:03,009
Well, I'm the general manager
of Sagatay Lodge.
98
00:04:03,042 --> 00:04:06,079
Basically, I had to take
a one year professional hiatus
99
00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:07,213
from this place.
100
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,983
My cousin, Dean, he almost
burnt it down to the ground.
101
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:12,018
But I was able
to turn things around.
102
00:04:12,051 --> 00:04:14,320
- Lodge Guest: Excuse me.
- Hello.
103
00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:19,459
How are you enjoying
our facilities and amendments?
104
00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:20,793
I hate to be a problem,
105
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:23,396
but there's a dog giving birth
in the bathtub.
106
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,832
Ooh, you're gonna wanna
keep your distance.
107
00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:27,567
They can be very territorial.
108
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,135
Oh, no, of course.
109
00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:30,536
I apologize for that.
110
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:33,673
But the Sagatay Lodge,
it could be a unique experience.
111
00:04:33,706 --> 00:04:35,642
There's a lot of history
in this building.
112
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:37,677
Look at this chair.
113
00:04:37,710 --> 00:04:39,012
This chair has been
114
00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:42,282
in my family's history
for over a hundred years.
115
00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:44,150
My great-great-great Mooshum,
116
00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:45,184
when he was fightin'
117
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:47,954
for his land and he needed
to take a load off...
118
00:04:47,987 --> 00:04:50,123
chair was there.
119
00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:52,725
Even today when things get tough
120
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,295
and I need to think
of the ancestors, I--
121
00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:58,765
Oh, my God!
(grunting)
122
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,767
That was witchcraft!
That wasn't my weight!
123
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,403
- (editors laughing)
- Witchcraft, I said!
124
00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:06,839
- It's witchcraft. (groaning)
- (editors laughing)
125
00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:10,043
- Paul: Open a window!
- (editors laughing)
126
00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:11,744
I think it's my femur.
127
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:15,581
Oh, the ancestors, they really
fucked me with this one.
128
00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:17,016
I can't.
I can't!
129
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,652
- Pause it.
- (groaning)
130
00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:21,387
Add it to the pile
of Brian bloopers.
131
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:23,656
Honestly,
I've got hours of this shit.
132
00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:24,691
Paul:
Open a window!
133
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:26,326
Tiana:
Okay, let's just move on.
134
00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:30,563
By the looks of this guy,
he lives on a bus?
135
00:05:30,596 --> 00:05:34,600
So, Dean, you've been holed up
in this bus bunker
136
00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:36,669
since news
of the fugitive broke.
137
00:05:36,703 --> 00:05:39,972
When's the last time
you saw the light of day?
138
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,107
What did ya mean?
139
00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:43,676
Well you must be so scared
of the fugitive.
140
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:44,944
(grunting)
141
00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:46,479
Whoa, heads up.
142
00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:48,281
Pass me that can
of butter, bro.
143
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:49,749
Wait, you mean this?
144
00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:51,217
Yeah, man, butter.
145
00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:56,289
♪
146
00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:01,828
So, back to the interview,
if I may?
147
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:04,197
How has your life changed?
148
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:06,032
Well, I guess I'm busier, bro.
149
00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:08,935
I'm hooking up people
with movies like crazy
150
00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:11,537
because now everybody wants to
see Hocus Pocus or Teen Witch.
151
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:14,140
So, so, you're saying
life is better?
152
00:06:14,173 --> 00:06:17,643
There's only one motherfucker I
got to watch out for, Lil' Tony.
153
00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:19,512
He thinks he's the movie man,
154
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:22,849
but his Mom only lets him
have the clean versions
155
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:23,950
of the movies.
156
00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:25,818
No nudity.
157
00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:27,320
That's your movie man?
158
00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:30,990
His Basic Instinct is too basic.
159
00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:37,029
So tell me about the fugitive.
160
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,698
That poor guy.
161
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:39,899
Don't tell anybody, but,
162
00:06:39,932 --> 00:06:42,902
I've been leaving a plate of
food out for him every morning
163
00:06:42,935 --> 00:06:44,604
just in case.
164
00:06:44,637 --> 00:06:47,273
So, you're worried about him?
165
00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:49,542
I know what it's like
to be in the bush alone.
166
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,978
My parents forgot me
on a camping trip.
167
00:06:53,379 --> 00:06:55,281
Okay, we're good.
168
00:06:55,314 --> 00:06:57,917
If you ever find that witch,
can you tell me if he's okay?
169
00:06:57,950 --> 00:06:59,819
And if you see my parents,
170
00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:02,054
can you tell 'em
I'm still in Grouse Lake?
171
00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:05,124
Brian: So, before we get started
if we could just--
172
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:06,359
Don't worry.
173
00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:09,695
The name's Roger Laughingstick
and you spell it like it sounds.
174
00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:10,630
Oh, good.
175
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:12,331
Well, it sounds like
you've done this before.
176
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:13,800
Amen, brother.
177
00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:17,003
You and me,
we're in the same business, eh?
178
00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:19,539
Did you know I was
the first one to report
179
00:07:19,572 --> 00:07:21,107
the fugitive on the loose?
180
00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:22,675
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
181
00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:26,045
People really count on me
to deliver the news around here.
182
00:07:26,078 --> 00:07:29,849
I may sleep a lot but there's
no rest for the Laughingstick.
183
00:07:29,882 --> 00:07:31,150
Okay, well,
so for my first question--
184
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,018
And let's be honest,
185
00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:34,520
when something bad
happens in the world
186
00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:36,155
that's pretty good
for our business, eh?
187
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:40,026
Well you know what they say,
"If it bleeds, it leads!"
188
00:07:40,059 --> 00:07:42,662
I mean you don't win awards
for a headline that reads,
189
00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:44,897
"Bank Not Robbed
by Sharp Broom."
190
00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:49,168
- (both laughing)
- Right on!
191
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,938
Oh, hey, are you getting me
and the mic in the shot here?
192
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,172
Oh, don't worry.
193
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,541
We'll pick up some shots of you
doing your thing live on the air
194
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:56,776
after the interview.
195
00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:59,879
- We are live on the air, man.
- (microphone button clicking)
196
00:07:59,912 --> 00:08:02,381
We're talking about the witch
on the loose with our guest,
197
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:06,319
Brian, so if you have
any questions, just call in.
198
00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:09,455
You... you mean
we're on the air now?
199
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,525
Yeah, I had to move bingo
for you.
200
00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:13,860
- (phone ringing)
- Oh, look at that.
201
00:08:13,893 --> 00:08:15,394
We got a caller already.
202
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:16,896
- (phone ringing)
- Go ahead.
203
00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:17,897
You're live on the air
204
00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:21,133
with Laughingstick and Brian
in the afternoon.
205
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,202
Caller: You cancelled bingo
for this shit?
206
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,705
You better hope that witch
gets you before I do.
207
00:08:25,738 --> 00:08:28,608
You know what?
That's a great question.
208
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:31,210
You should probably
answer that, Brian.
209
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:33,479
Uh...
(stammering)
210
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,382
- (multiple phones ringing)
Hold on a second, Gramps.
211
00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:39,919
The board's
really lighting up here.
212
00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:41,587
Do you mind if we do this later?
213
00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:45,391
You're really
upsetting everyone.
214
00:08:45,424 --> 00:08:50,463
Tiana: Did he honestly say,
"If it bleeds, it leads."?
215
00:08:50,496 --> 00:08:53,833
- So greasy.
- Tiana, he always says that.
216
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,301
He said that
in the Woman's Day piece.
217
00:08:55,334 --> 00:08:58,271
I mean is there a story here?
This is dumb, right?
218
00:08:58,304 --> 00:08:59,972
Judah: We got enough
for Funniest Home Videos.
219
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:04,977
- Oh, my God!
- We are fucked.
220
00:09:07,146 --> 00:09:08,981
I heard that there was this
white guy at the gas bar
221
00:09:09,015 --> 00:09:10,650
in Duck Bay and that
he looked witchy as hell, too,
222
00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:12,818
but that could just be
because he was in Duck Bay.
223
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:14,587
Nah, boy, that was our cousin.
224
00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:16,689
He's just pale skinned is all.
225
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:18,624
♪
226
00:09:18,658 --> 00:09:21,294
Brian: And how scared
of the witchman are you?
227
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:22,628
I like sugar.
228
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:34,340
Okay, real simple question.
229
00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:37,643
How has the witch hunt
changed your life?
230
00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:40,479
This interview I guess.
That's big.
231
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:42,615
- Like, I get to meet TV Head.
- TV Head?
232
00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:44,817
Yeah, your head's
always on TV, bro.
233
00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:48,454
Okay, so as the band constable,
234
00:09:48,487 --> 00:09:50,957
what safety precautions
have you taken?
235
00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:53,993
I'm just doin' my duty,
keeping everyone safe,
236
00:09:54,026 --> 00:09:57,663
checking the perimeters
and the vicini...ties.
237
00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:59,765
Sometimes I do
the perimeters twice.
238
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:02,368
And when I do,
I use this big guy.
239
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:08,074
It's my prized possession.
240
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:10,509
- The flashlight?
- Yeah, man.
241
00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:12,845
You imagine what that witch boy
would do if he saw this thing
242
00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:15,147
shining at him in the bush?
243
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:18,084
Shh, shh, shh!
You hear that?
244
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,052
It's gotta be him.
245
00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:22,088
Hey!
Hey!
246
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,489
Smarten up!
247
00:10:23,522 --> 00:10:25,358
Better not be
robbing banks out there!
248
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:26,459
Drop the broom!
249
00:10:26,492 --> 00:10:29,862
Ah. (sighing)
Got away.
250
00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:30,896
This is why we need
251
00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:33,299
better training up here.
252
00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:34,367
(editors laughing)
253
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,468
Judah: Tiana, check this out.
254
00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:37,670
Tiana: What the fuck is this?
255
00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:38,871
Brian does this all the time.
256
00:10:38,904 --> 00:10:41,607
He likes to film his tennis
stroke to try to fix his form.
257
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:42,742
Please fast forward this.
258
00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:44,677
Judah: Yeah, sure.
I've got hours of this.
259
00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:46,879
- I could send it to you.
- Don't.
260
00:10:46,912 --> 00:10:48,681
Oh, that's the Chief.
261
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:53,886
(playing electric guitar)
262
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,589
Cool.
Thanks.
263
00:10:56,622 --> 00:11:00,359
(playing electric guitar)
264
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:01,494
I think we got it!
265
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:07,166
(Chief clearing throat)
266
00:11:07,199 --> 00:11:10,770
As Chief, what safety steps
have you taken on the rez?
267
00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:12,571
Now, you can tell
all your friends
268
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:16,742
that you heard Eagle Heart
live at work today.
269
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:18,210
Eagle Heart?
What's that?
270
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:20,613
Are you serious?
Big Makwa?
271
00:11:20,646 --> 00:11:22,615
That, uh, doesn't ring
any bells, Chief.
272
00:11:22,648 --> 00:11:25,051
Come on.
We were huge in the nineties.
273
00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:26,719
- I'm sure you were.
- Ugh!
274
00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:30,589
Eagle Heart was our biggest hit.
275
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:33,626
It's about a boy
with an eagle heart.
276
00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:37,596
Ringing any bells?
277
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:40,266
Judah: I... I gotta look up
Eagle Heart.
278
00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:41,734
No way.
You found it?
279
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:43,769
(eagle screeching on video)
280
00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:46,138
♪ The doctor said no ♪
281
00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:50,643
♪ From the start ♪
282
00:11:50,676 --> 00:11:51,677
♪
283
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,547
♪ This kid can't have ♪
284
00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:58,451
♪ An eagle heart ♪
285
00:11:58,484 --> 00:11:59,685
♪ No! ♪
286
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:00,653
♪ His numbers ♪
287
00:12:00,686 --> 00:12:02,655
♪ Are off the charts ♪
288
00:12:02,688 --> 00:12:05,858
♪ 'Cause this boy
has animal parts ♪
289
00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:07,393
♪
290
00:12:07,426 --> 00:12:10,162
♪ This kid can't have ♪
291
00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:13,332
♪ An Eagle heart ♪
292
00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:16,635
♪
293
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:20,005
- Brian: Hey, you two!
- Judah: (laughing) TV Head!
294
00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:21,640
(both laughing)
295
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:23,542
Got you a lot
of good footage, right?
296
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,045
Yeah, you really knocked it
out of the park.
297
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:28,647
This just reeks
of that Brian magic.
298
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:29,715
And good news,
299
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,618
I just talked them into
making this story a feature.
300
00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:33,786
Tiana: A feature?
301
00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:35,054
It's just that
there's nothing here.
302
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:35,955
Yeah, who knows?
303
00:12:35,988 --> 00:12:39,225
This could be
my next Golden Mic Award.
304
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:41,660
Oh, it's gotta feel good
to be on Team Brian, eh?
305
00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:44,263
Oh, feels good.
Feels real good.
306
00:12:44,296 --> 00:12:45,965
Well, I'll let you two
get to it.
307
00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:48,400
I, uh, I gotta get to
a Freedom Convoy thing
308
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,569
on the other side of town.
309
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:51,937
Covering or attending?
310
00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:54,340
I can't wait to find out.
311
00:12:54,373 --> 00:12:57,176
Brian: As one of the more
elderly people up here,
312
00:12:57,209 --> 00:12:58,677
you must be losing sleep
313
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:00,379
and staring out
your windows at night
314
00:13:00,412 --> 00:13:03,349
now that there's a fugitive
out there dressed like a witch.
315
00:13:03,382 --> 00:13:05,217
What size are you guys?
Medium?
316
00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:07,686
I think that you would look
very handsome
317
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,488
in this sweet...
318
00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:12,625
Meech Lake Accord hoodie.
319
00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:14,660
I think I'm good, thanks.
320
00:13:14,693 --> 00:13:17,596
So, you're one of the more
vulnerable people up here.
321
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:18,931
- And...
- (stammering)
322
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:23,035
I've got these Big Mukwa hats,
but don't tell Deedee.
323
00:13:23,068 --> 00:13:25,671
Ho'lee!
She tried to sue me.
324
00:13:25,704 --> 00:13:26,939
- (laughing)
- No kidding.
325
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:29,375
So if I could just ask you
a quick question--
326
00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:34,413
Okay, okay.
This just came in.
327
00:13:34,446 --> 00:13:35,447
And on the back it says,
328
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:38,784
"I ain't afraid
of no Witch Face."
329
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,286
- So, what's it gonna be?
- (stammering)
330
00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:44,123
- (door opening and closing)
- What?
331
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,158
They broke my chair
and didn't help me.
332
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:47,760
Who did that to you?
333
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:51,397
All of them.
334
00:13:51,430 --> 00:13:53,232
You should be ashamed
of yourself!
335
00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:56,268
- No, no, it was an old chair.
- Did you even crack a window?
336
00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:58,671
Nope.
Even after I told them to.
337
00:14:00,873 --> 00:14:03,275
Brian: Uh, if you could
just give us your name.
338
00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:06,812
Uh, Josephine, but, uh,
people call me "Chief."
339
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:10,850
Uh, my, my name is not Chief.
340
00:14:10,883 --> 00:14:11,784
My name's Joe.
341
00:14:11,817 --> 00:14:14,420
I don't know why
I just said that.
342
00:14:14,453 --> 00:14:17,156
You were the one who asked.
343
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:20,526
As band councillor, you must
deal with this kind of stuff
344
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:21,627
all of the time.
345
00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:23,863
Violence, death, and witches...
346
00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:27,199
I'm gonna stop you right there.
347
00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:29,235
I see what you're trying to do.
348
00:14:29,268 --> 00:14:33,939
You want me to give you some sad
story about how shit the rez is,
349
00:14:33,973 --> 00:14:37,409
pushing this old,
tired narrative.
350
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:41,046
Why don't you come out here
and shoot the good stuff?
351
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,549
Like our acres
of protected land,
352
00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:44,984
or the fact that Blue--
353
00:14:45,017 --> 00:14:47,119
--I mean,
one of our community members
354
00:14:47,152 --> 00:14:50,155
just won the national
spelling bee!
355
00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:52,024
But, no,
356
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:55,828
you wanna continue
perpetuating this idea
357
00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:59,732
that all we're about
is asking for handouts!
358
00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:02,768
Did somebody say handouts?
I wouldn't mind a handout.
359
00:15:02,801 --> 00:15:04,503
Not now, Ed!
360
00:15:04,536 --> 00:15:06,672
I'm not letting you
come into my community
361
00:15:06,705 --> 00:15:09,408
to shoot some
poverty porn bullshit!
362
00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:11,043
I was in a poverty porn once.
363
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,544
Oh, God!
That's sick.
364
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:14,380
Eds, get out!
365
00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:18,617
And now, for an exclusive.
366
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:21,287
Joining us
is local store manager,
367
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,688
Brady Clark.
368
00:15:22,721 --> 00:15:24,757
Brady, thanks for being here.
369
00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:26,392
Sorry I wouldn't
let you in the store.
370
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:27,526
I got confused.
371
00:15:27,559 --> 00:15:29,228
I thought you had
the witch with you.
372
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:32,097
Oh. (laughing)
Oh, no, no, no.
373
00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:33,565
But he could be anywhere.
374
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,501
You don't have to say that.
375
00:15:35,534 --> 00:15:37,303
Maybe just stop.
376
00:15:37,336 --> 00:15:39,672
Wait, is the witch
in the studio with you?
377
00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:41,941
Did my ex-wife tell you
that I shit myself
378
00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:43,475
during The Blair Witch?
379
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:45,110
Is this one of those things
380
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:47,780
where you know I have
a lifelong fear of witches?
381
00:15:47,813 --> 00:15:51,350
So you're gonna being 'em out
here, so I can face my fears?
382
00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:53,886
Oh, shoot.
That would have been good.
383
00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:56,088
Maybe for sweeps.
384
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:57,289
So tell us, Brady,
385
00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:59,959
what's the mood like
in Grouse Lake right now?
386
00:15:59,992 --> 00:16:02,695
Oh, no one's taking it
seriously at all.
387
00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:04,897
These people don't care
about witches.
388
00:16:04,930 --> 00:16:07,700
They have bigfoot
and little people to deal with.
389
00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:10,302
But obviously
you are taking it seriously.
390
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:12,204
Yeah, because I'm white!
391
00:16:12,237 --> 00:16:14,673
I don't want people
to think that I did this.
392
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:16,608
Did you know
that most bank robbers
393
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,345
and most witches are white?
394
00:16:19,378 --> 00:16:21,013
But I don't know this guy.
395
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:22,881
He doesn't represent us.
396
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,416
I'm not a witch!
397
00:16:24,450 --> 00:16:26,852
I-I-I'll take a DNA test.
398
00:16:26,885 --> 00:16:27,853
Oh!
399
00:16:27,886 --> 00:16:31,757
I'm Rose Sinclair,
but call me "@rezzyandreal."
400
00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:32,825
That's my handle.
401
00:16:32,858 --> 00:16:34,193
Oh, just your real name is fine.
402
00:16:34,226 --> 00:16:36,161
It's where I teach
beauty hacks on the cheap.
403
00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:39,365
Follow, like, and subscribe
for all my videos.
404
00:16:39,398 --> 00:16:41,100
So tell me, Rose,
405
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:44,303
the phones must be ringing
off the hook here.
406
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:45,237
Not really.
407
00:16:45,270 --> 00:16:47,539
Come on!
They gotta be.
408
00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:52,644
Rose, can we do
this question again,
409
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:55,147
but this time I want you
to give me a real sense
410
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,383
of the fear
running through Grouse Lake.
411
00:16:57,416 --> 00:16:58,217
Do you know what I mean?
412
00:16:58,250 --> 00:16:59,651
And if you could just,
if you could--
413
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,286
I got you.
I got you.
414
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,688
This will get you some hits.
415
00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:04,523
- Okay.
- Ask me again.
416
00:17:04,556 --> 00:17:06,992
So tell me, Rose,
how have things changed for you
417
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:10,162
here at the band office
since the news came down?
418
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:12,498
Oh, yeah.
419
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:16,468
The whole place
is just running scared.
420
00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:18,504
Can't even go out alone.
421
00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:22,574
Great!
That was great!
422
00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:25,244
Okay, now we just wanna
get you answering the phone,
423
00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:26,211
as you normally would.
424
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:29,248
- Easy peasey.
- Okay, okay. (clearing throat)
425
00:17:29,281 --> 00:17:30,516
Ring, ring.
426
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:33,952
Hello, Grouse Lake band office.
427
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:36,288
Wait.
Slow down.
428
00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:39,792
Uh-huh.
No, not Gerry!
429
00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:42,528
Please, not Gerry!
430
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:45,197
But he was so young!
431
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:48,133
I just talked to him yesterday!
432
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:51,270
What about his kids?
433
00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:53,906
What about the kids!?
434
00:17:57,109 --> 00:17:58,210
How was that?
435
00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:00,546
I can go bigger.
436
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:03,115
No.
437
00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:04,550
It's perfect!
438
00:18:05,451 --> 00:18:07,953
Brian:
How's the dream team doin'?
439
00:18:07,986 --> 00:18:10,522
Hard hitting stuff, right?
440
00:18:10,556 --> 00:18:11,590
I don't know, Brian.
441
00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:13,659
We've gone through
all the footage
442
00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:17,229
and there is no story here.
443
00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:18,864
Are you serious?
444
00:18:18,897 --> 00:18:20,466
I mean everything you need
is right in there.
445
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:21,667
No, you're...
446
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:23,001
No, you're just not
looking hard enough.
447
00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:24,336
Here, get up.
Get up.
448
00:18:24,369 --> 00:18:26,338
Yeah, up, up, up.
Get up, get up.
449
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,609
- Okay.
- So I'm off the story now?
450
00:18:30,642 --> 00:18:31,844
Yep, I got it from here.
451
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:34,580
Ugh!
Classic fuckin' Brian.
452
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:35,581
B-B-Both of us?
453
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:38,050
Yeah.
You can go.
454
00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:39,184
Sweet.
455
00:18:39,218 --> 00:18:41,286
Hey, it's all yours, TV Head.
456
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:51,430
Now, what's the...
457
00:18:53,665 --> 00:18:55,134
Female Anchor (on TV):
Congratulations are in order
458
00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:58,237
as Winnipeg celebrates
its one millionth pothole.
459
00:18:58,270 --> 00:18:59,605
Never been on TV before.
460
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:02,307
I hear a lot of people
get discovered on the news.
461
00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:05,344
(gasping)
What if I get a sneaker deal?
462
00:19:05,377 --> 00:19:07,479
(Laughing)
'Ever, slack.
463
00:19:07,513 --> 00:19:11,150
As if anyone ever got a sneaker
deal from buckling a chair.
464
00:19:11,183 --> 00:19:12,184
Man, shut up, Dean.
465
00:19:12,217 --> 00:19:13,652
Female Anchor: A northern
community is torn apart
466
00:19:13,685 --> 00:19:16,522
by danger lurking nearby.
467
00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:20,893
Brian Granway brings us a story
on a very special edition...
468
00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:23,228
- of Granway Investigates.
- Oh, shh, our story's on!
469
00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:25,631
I spoke with the frightened
people of Grouse Lake
470
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:30,669
to see how they're adjusting
to the threat of Mr. Witch Face.
471
00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:34,573
A bank robbing witch
prowling in the woods nearby.
472
00:19:34,606 --> 00:19:36,275
What about his kids?
473
00:19:36,308 --> 00:19:38,377
What about the kids?
474
00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:40,779
There's only one mother(beep)
you gotta watch out for.
475
00:19:40,812 --> 00:19:42,014
You're gonna wanna
keep your distance.
476
00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:43,782
Shh, shh, shh.
It's gotta be him.
477
00:19:43,815 --> 00:19:45,484
They can be very territorial.
478
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:48,687
Most bank robbers
and most witches are white.
479
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,022
I'm white.
I'm white.
480
00:19:50,055 --> 00:19:52,925
- It doesn't represent us.
- (Witch cackling effect)
481
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:57,262
Wise words
from a white man, indeed.
482
00:19:57,296 --> 00:20:00,299
I'm Brian Granway
for Granway Investigates
483
00:20:00,332 --> 00:20:02,234
coming to you from Grouse Lake,
484
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:06,538
a broken community,
reeling from fear.
485
00:20:06,572 --> 00:20:08,040
They may never recover.
486
00:20:08,073 --> 00:20:09,575
- I think it's Witch...
- Brian: ..Face.
487
00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:11,210
I wouldn't mind a handout.
488
00:20:11,243 --> 00:20:14,780
(groaning)
489
00:20:14,813 --> 00:20:16,481
Female Anchor:
Thank you, Brian.
490
00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:17,950
Chilling.
491
00:20:17,983 --> 00:20:20,552
All: Fuck!
492
00:20:22,654 --> 00:20:24,389
(audience applauding)
493
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:27,059
Wow.
Uh, uh...
494
00:20:29,094 --> 00:20:34,166
I, uh, I humbly accept this
humanitarian award in journalism
495
00:20:34,199 --> 00:20:37,236
on behalf of the people
of Grouse Lake,
496
00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:41,073
for I am the voice
of the voiceless.
497
00:20:41,106 --> 00:20:42,908
But, uh...
498
00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:45,911
there is someone
I really need to thank.
499
00:20:45,944 --> 00:20:50,015
Someone... who's kept me going
all these years.
500
00:20:51,149 --> 00:20:54,653
Giorgio, my tennis pro.
501
00:20:54,686 --> 00:20:57,956
♪
502
00:20:57,990 --> 00:20:59,358
We did it, man!
503
00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:00,692
We did it!
504
00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:06,098
♪ Ricky was different ♪
505
00:21:06,131 --> 00:21:09,167
♪ He wasn't like the rest ♪
506
00:21:10,902 --> 00:21:15,374
♪ 'Cause this kid
has a bum heart ♪
507
00:21:15,407 --> 00:21:17,442
♪ In his chest ♪
508
00:21:19,344 --> 00:21:21,847
♪ The boy got advice ♪
509
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,049
♪ From a real deadly auntie ♪
510
00:21:24,082 --> 00:21:26,218
And this just in,
we've received the results
511
00:21:26,251 --> 00:21:28,787
from Brady Clark's DNA test.
512
00:21:28,820 --> 00:21:31,590
Turns out, 25 percent witch.
513
00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:32,624
What?!
514
00:21:32,658 --> 00:21:33,859
No!
515
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,129
♪ The doctor said no ♪
516
00:21:37,162 --> 00:21:41,500
♪ From the start ♪
517
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:45,404
♪ This kid can't have ♪
518
00:21:45,437 --> 00:21:48,974
♪ An eagle heart ♪
519
00:21:49,007 --> 00:21:50,375
♪ No! ♪
520
00:21:50,409 --> 00:21:52,110
♪ His numbers are ♪
521
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:53,512
♪ Off the charts ♪
522
00:21:53,545 --> 00:21:55,247
♪ 'Cause this boy ♪
523
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:56,715
♪ Has animal parts... ♪
59131
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