Original subtitles

The sun feels so good. It's nice here alone, away from the grabbers. Last night was the

worst. I shouldn't have gone to that party with Artie. Your own brother should have known

the kind of party it turned out to be. And where was Artie when they started to take

off their clothes? That man with the beard who kept tearing at my clothes was so repulsive.

At times like that I think I never want sex. And the woman who kissed me on the mouth was

even worse. Why are people that way? Why does everyone grab at me? The grabbers scare me.

But Billy doesn't scare me. The night he kissed me, it was like a butterfly's wings grazing my lips.

But I felt the electricity right down to my toes. I kissed him back. It was like wine. I had never

kissed a man back in my life. I could fall in love with Billy if it wasn't for Cherie. Cherie is so

lovely. I love her so much. Pure platonic love burning brightly. If I were a candle, I would burn

at both ends. One end burning for Cherie and the other end burning for Billy. But when the flames

meet in the middle, would the candle burn out? There he is, looking at me again. I can always

count on Daddy as my number one audience when I take my clothes off. There she is, with her clothes

off again. I can always count on her taking her clothes off when I'm around. I wonder how long

he'll wait until he makes a pass. I wonder how long she'll wait until she makes a pass. How could I

flip for a guy over 30? How could I flip for a kid not even 16? And my daddy is dead. That girl can't keep her

clothes on, particularly around her father, an exhibitionist with an electro complex. We certainly

have togetherness in this family. Each one loves the other, and we're probably the only Hollywood

family that all go to the same psychiatrist. Here comes Cere, the one who started this merry-go-round.

Was she really 15 when I was pulled into this mixed-up world? Hello, Mom. I told you not to call me that a hundred times. Bad for business. Sorry,

chum. I guess it sort of slips out a bit. You know, like a boozed-up old man trying to ball a tight young

chick. You little cunt. What are you trying to do? Cause a real scandal? Now that's all you really care about, isn't it? Your career.

Miss Sherry Soudain, the superstar. You get a million dollars a flick because every pub kid who can't get laid can sit in the back row and play with himself, while you wiggle around without clothes and glorious technicolor. Maybe, but I didn't try and get in my old man's

pants when I was 15. No, you were too busy in your Uncle Jack's pants. Your tutor is waiting to give you your lesson. Tutor? Hell, he's just a glorified babysitter. I'm too old for that jazz. But he's under 30, darling. That's why you hired him, isn't it, darling?

If you're patterning Simone after your daughter, I could suggest some changes.

You look most enticing that way.

So I'm graduated to practical French.

Don't knock it till you've tried it.

Who's knocking it?

I'm number 69.

No, not even 34 and a half.

You'd like to be hitting me with that riding crop, wouldn't you, lover?

If only your career wasn't built on my legs.

You give me a beating like I never had before.

Why don't you take a chance? Try it.

Maybe I'd like it.

You're the saddest. Not me.

Oh, so gallant, my lover, and so damn phony.

It's not my fault that even today's so-called way-out society

decrees you can't screw your own daughter.

You...

Keep your filthy mouth off me and my daughter.

The pot calling the kettle black?

Or have your socially conscious soul brothers outlawed that word, too?

If you want a divorce to marry your gentleman friend, go right ahead.

Community property laws give me half of all your gold.

But they can't make me act in your films.

And without me, you'll be directing traffic

or writing the hay and feed column for the Egg Harbor Farmers' Weekly.

I like it. It feels so good.

I've got to find out what all the rest is about.

Sandy says it's the greatest.

I wonder if she'll play.

Want me to take off my things?

Why?

Why do you think?

I thought you suggested fun games.

Guessing games are for babies.

So, to make you feel good, I'll take off my clothes.

Uh-uh. Not to make me feel good.

You want to stab me so you can feel good.

You can kiss it, but that's all.

You're unfair to the playboy syndrome.

Oh, balls, and screw you too.

I'd love it.

You're not going to jump me.

Who are you saving it for? Your dear daddy?

This will take his mind off her.

Something new always fascinates Billy.

I'm ready with this surprise.

Run away, lover.

I wonder why I always go back to him.

I guess I know.

Can I take my coat off?

Naturally.

Charlie, you're not making the team with me.

You know, for one sole round, you're awfully square.

My daddy told me it wasn't right to let anyone make me.

That's the trouble with our old-fashioned puritan heritage here in America.

Unlike the Europeans or our Middle East brethren, we think that screwing is something sacred.

I remember a story my dad told me that he'd read in a magazine many years ago.

It was about a critic who thought that everything he saw on stage was dirty,

that civilization was going to hell because a bosom was exposed or a nasty word was used.

When he died and went to heaven for the big interview...

Excuse me. My nose seems to be in the way of your fist.

Well, I certainly can't give this place much of a rating.

It doesn't look authentic at all.

I'm sorry about that, but you're coming into the earth entrance.

We don't seem to get too much traffic through these things.

It's been a couple of thousand years since we had a VIP.

I shouldn't wonder with the way people down there are obsessed with sex and nudity.

Well, don't just stand there. Aren't you going to ask me?

Oh, sure.

I should think that a critic of my standing, syndicated, you know,

would get a bigger reception.

Who are you?

I'm a helper.

Where is Saint Peter?

He's on vacation.

When will he be back?

Oh, 49 weeks.

That's a pretty long vacation.

Oh, well, we're unionized now, you know.

Must you smoke that foul weed?

I'm sorry about that.

Now, what can I do for you?

I'm supposed to ask you that.

My mission on earth is to help humanity by protecting them from the evils of seeing their own bodies

and from the horrendous evils of fornication.

But you're not on earth anymore.

If you people up here knew what was happening on earth,

you'd do something about it.

There must be terrible inefficiency up here.

No one evidently is reading my articles.

What kind of articles do you write, Mr. Crinic?

I expose nudity and intercourse.

But without intercourse, you couldn't have any humanity anymore.

Without intercourse, you couldn't have any humanity anymore.

Ah, that's just the point.

I want you people to see the sordid things going on on earth.

And then I'll tell you how humanity should be continued in the future.

Without taking your clothes off?

Without taking your clothes off.

That sounds kind of dull.

Don't you think our top people know what kind of a subsidiary they started?

Look down below and see.

♪

You know that nudity and fornication are unnecessary

as a means of continuing the human race.

But everybody isn't as sick as that last fellow.

Society is obsessed with sex.

The books must be banned.

The plays closed.

The films burned.

Sex itself must be eliminated so that the human race

can find a sexless means of reproduction.

Is it all right if I sit in my chair?

If you're going to do something about S-E-X.

I'm gonna put it all in my report.

Good.

And what do you recommend, Mr. Crick?

Start by abolishing nudity.

But that's gonna make it awful difficult to make children.

Then they'll have to make children some other way.

What other way?

Something people do every day

without taking their clothes off.

Something clean, something they don't think about.

Like what?

Like, like, like shaking hands.

And another 2,000 years passed.

Excuse me.

My nose seems to be in the way of your fist.

Certainly can't give this place much of a rating.

Doesn't look authentic at all.

Well, I'm sorry about that,

but you're coming in through the wrong door.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not.

You're coming in through the earth entrance.

We don't seem to get much traffic this way anymore.

It's been at least a couple of thousand years

since we had a VIP.

Well, I shouldn't be surprised

with the way people down there are obsessed

with sex and nudity.

Well, don't just stand there.

Aren't you going to invite me in?

Oh, sure.

You'd think that a critic of my standing,

syndicated, you know, I'd get a bigger reception.

Who are you?

Oh, I'm a helper.

Where is St. Peter?

On vacation.

When will he be back?

In 49 weeks.

That's a pretty long vacation.

Oh, we're unionized now.

Must you smoke that foul weed?

Well, I'm sorry about that.

Oh, man.

Now, what can I do for you?

I'm supposed to ask you to do that.

My mission on earth is to help humanity

by protecting them from the evils of seeing their own hands

and the horrendous evils of fornication.

But you're not on earth anymore.

If you people up here knew what was happening on earth,

you'd do something about it.

There must be terrible inefficiency up here.

No one apparently is reading my articles.

What are your articles about, Mr. Critic?

I expose nudity and intercourse.

But without intercourse,

you wouldn't have any humanity anymore.

Ah, that's just the point.

I want you people to see the sordid things

that are going on on earth.

Then I'll tell you how humanity

should be continued in the future.

Without taking your gloves off?

Without taking your gloves off.

That sounds kind of dull.

Don't you think our top people know

what sort of a subsidiary they started?

Look down below and see.

♪♪

Terrible, isn't it?

Society is obsessed with sex,

and the nudity of the hands.

The books must be banned.

The play is closed. The film's burned.

Take a look below at that despicable scene.

You know, you really are the greatest.

It's never as good with anyone else.

I know.

Why isn't it always that way with us?

It used to be.

Your daughter is one reason.

My daughter happens to be yours.

You raped me when I was only 15.

Ah, you told me you were 16.

Still statutory rape.

It was.

Past the statute of limitations now.

Besides, I met an honest woman of yours.

If I'm an honest woman, why do you taunt me every time I go to Artie's?

Is he better in the hay than I am?

Does that worry you?

I haven't proved my subconscious that far.

Would you believe me if I told you that Artie and I never went to bed together?

I suppose it would take me a long time to hypnotize myself into that belief.

If you'd ever bothered to ask, I'd have told you.

We agreed that in these times, and in our business,

it was silly not to act like human beings, modern human beings.

Then why do you stick in the ship every time I go to Arties?

Maybe because I miss this.

that you have my daughter here to take my place.

Don't get bitchy.

Not in a town like this.

Stop being bitchy.

Just factual.

Junior hates my guts because I occasionally share your bed,

which is what she wants to do.

But she hasn't.

Wouldn't you like it if she could?

Aw.

Now you're talking semantics.

You know I couldn't make love to my own daughter.

No matter how hard a feeling of lust might arise.

Just talking about it is making it arise right now.

Are you changing the subject of why you go to Artie's?

No, and I don't go to Artie's.

I seem to forget his sister lives with him.

Lou Jean?

A lovely virginal Lou Jean,

who you make a pass at every time you get a chance.

Not that I really blame you.

I can understand how you feel.

How well can you understand?

I could go for it too.

Have you ever?

Never mind.

Is that what you really want?

You haven't answered my question.

You haven't answered either of my questions.

Well I can think of better things to do than hear them talk.

Wanna shake hands again?

Do they still kiss in the 40th century?

It's not the 40th century yet.

Feel what you do to me.

It feels so nice.

Take it out.

Yes, sir.

Do you like it in you?

I'd like it, but I'm not going to do it.

Don't stop.

It feels so nice.

Will you kiss it?

I never have.

Put your hand back while I think about it.

Nothing to fear.

You can't get a baby that way.

So I've heard.

Not even flattening.

That I've never heard.

How do you do it?

Just get down on your knees and kiss it.

Would you like to do it to me first?

Why don't you do it to me first?

No calories.

All protein.

If you're not so hung up on show wing,

what's the big deal about going to see Lou Jenner so much?

I like her.

In what way?

Every way.

Is she like you?

Yes.

Are you making it with her?

No.

You want to?

Would you mind?

Doesn't the husband usually object when the wife strays from the family heart?

Come on, chum, this is 1972, not 1872.

And I'm not talking about making it with another fella, just another girl.

One you dig yourself.

Look, I'm modern, you know that.

And I know that Dr. Pierce's latest survey shows that

87% of all females have latent lesbian tendencies.

But it's a shock.

Because I thought you were all woman, not half and half.

I don't know what I am. I think I'm at least 98% woman.

Up until today I was 100% woman.

And you've been the only man in my life contrary to Hollywood standards.

And talking of shocks,

how do you think I felt when I read Junie's diary

and found out the man that she was drooling over

was none other than her father?

Her father happens to be your husband.

And I'm not going to make love to anyone else but you.

Man, woman, or child.

I'm very well taken care of.

What about Lou Jean?

I admit I'm attracted to her.

Do I have your permission?

Do I have yours?

You keep talking about everything else to keep the conversation away from Junior.

What are you going to do about her?

Stay as far away as possible.

Why do you think you're taking this matter seriously enough?

What can I do about it?

Most girls are in love with their fathers.

Freud stated that in his theory of infantile sexuality.

Just like most boys are in love with their mothers.

What is latent in most girls has surfaced in Junior.

I feel sorry for her.

But if I show her complete rejection,

it might be most disadvantageous to her mentally.

But you react to her. I can tell. I've seen you.

Of course I do.

And Dr. Abrams has told me that it's normal and usual.

Any virile male is going to react to a beautiful young girl.

Particularly if she's trying to raise that reaction.

Even if the girl is your own daughter?

Even if.

Well, Dr. Abrams has told me that she hates me

because I share your bed occasionally,

which is what she wants to do.

Yes, that's partially true.

And also because you're the successful sex symbol.

You've arrived.

You're the competitor that's won the race

before she ever had a chance to get started.

Well, even if she hasn't started with you,

I imagine she'll start with Charles.

Any second now.

I caught the making out in the guest house the other night.

Did she go all the way?

Not after I broke it up.

Did you talk to her?

I haven't ever been able to talk to Daddy's baby.

Every time I've tried to discipline her,

she's run to Daddy and snuggled in his lap for protection.

Well, I guess I'd better go talk to her.

Keep your legs crossed.

Hello, Daddy.

Daddy arrived just in time to save me from a fate worse than death.

Put your clothes on and don't put me on.

My sweet, handsome, beautiful Daddy.

Ken's isn't mad at his little baby, is he?

If your mother sees this, she'll flip her lid.

My mother flips her lid every hour on the hour.

She's just jealous because you love me instead of her.

That's not true. I love your mother very much.

Oh, for I love thee, Sonara, in my passions.

I told you not to do that.

Do you love your baby?

You know I love her.

Then God damn it, kiss me and kiss me for real.

That's enough, Janet.

Okay, if that's the way you want it,

she's got you so hypnotized with her twitchy bottoms

that you can't even kiss your own daughter.

Well, I know where I can get kissed all I want.

You'll be sorry.

Junior, listen.

And don't call me that silly name anymore.

The two of you deserve each other.

Honey, it's just that a daughter doesn't kiss her father that way.

You did before.

Yeah, just once.

I was drunk, you know that.

In the dark, lying in the bed.

I thought you were your mother.

I'll never forget that kiss.

When Mr. Wright comes along, you'll kiss him that way.

How corny can you get?

Play the game the way she wants to, chum,

and I'll show you the men I can get.

Men I can get.

I'll show you the men I can get.

Men, I said.

Not overgrown kids like Charles.

Sophisticated men.

Men older than you and bigger than you, too.

At your last party, Sir Harry kissed me.

Kissed me good.

Sir Harry's pushing 60.

He's on his fifth wife.

Correction.

He's off his fifth wife,

and he wants to be on his sixth wife.

Me.

You talk of marriage like it's a revolving door.

Marriage is squares, Bill.

Outdated.

I'd just as soon shack up with Sir Harry

if you promised not to stick the fuzz on me.

I promise nothing of the sort.

Well, then you better be nice to me instead of your wife.

She's your mother.

A biological accident.

I hate her guts.

And besides, she's over 30.

So am I.

Well, I've got news for you, chum.

At times like this, you don't win any popularity contest with me.

Oh, sweetheart.

I love you dearly.

Don't be that way.

You don't show it.

I love you as a daughter.

I can't love you any other way.

Why?

It's...

It isn't done. It's against the law.

Society doesn't approve.

Why?

Well, it's...

It's incest.

I know that's what you squares call it,

but it's been practiced all over this world for centuries.

This is 1972.

Even in this enlightened country up in those Tennessee hills

where they don't read your laws so well or care to.

What harm can it do anyway?

Children born of such union are usually not normal.

Who's normal today?

Who wants children?

Not this kid.

The water feels so good against my body.

I feel so free.

No inhibitions now.

I wish I could just stay here, safe,

away from the world, away from problems,

away from taboos, hatreds, prejudice.

The water caresses my body.

Such peace.

We're born naked.

Adam and Eve were naked in the Garden of Eden.

Only when they left the garden did they wear clothes.

Are clothes the invention of the devil?

I wonder what it is like to be loved.

Most girls my age have already found out.

Some nights, like tonight, I wonder why I'm waiting.

It must be the grabbing men.

Grabbing men scare me.

All but Billy.

He's so gentle.

But he belongs to Cherie.

And Cherie is my only friend.

Cherie is so beautiful.

I think I would like to kiss Cherie.

Is that wicked to want?

Hi.

Hi.

I'm so glad you could come and visit with me.

Junior and Billy had a big fight today, and to prove he really loved her,

Billy decided to take Junior for a big night on the town.

Without you?

Without me.

Why?

I'm my daughter's rival for my husband's affections.

I've a confession to make.

Billy's the only man I've ever liked.

Were you in love with him too?

I don't know.

That's all right. You can tell me.

Why don't you come in? The water is fine.

I'd like to take a swim, but I don't have a suit.

Well, why don't you wear the same one I'm wearing?

Daddy, I had a ball tonight.

Sweetheart, I've told you.

I love it when you call me sweetheart.

I love it when I have you all alone.

I love, I love, I love.

Life is a long shot waiting for its close-up.

What did you say?

Oh, just a corny line I wrote once.

What did you write?

Life is a long shot waiting for its close-up.

That's lovely.

Sheer poetry.

You're so, so romantic.

I wish this night would never end.

What I meant by that line

is that your close-up hasn't arrived yet.

You're still acting in the long shot.

You can't base your life on me, baby.

Oh, I love it when you call me baby.

Am I really your baby?

It's almost two o'clock.

Past your bedtime, baby.

That baby I'm not anymore.

Let's go someplace and have some fun.

I've been waiting almost 16 years for this night.

Everything will be closed in a few minutes.

Well, we can take the car down to the beach

and I'll go and get a blanket.

That's me, off and away.

And that's you, chasing after me.

I wonder where you're going.

Junior!

Junior!

I'm going to get the blanket.

We're not going to get the blanket.

Why not, Daddy?

We're home for the evening.

We're not going to get the blanket and go to the beach.

And if all the people think we're going there,

then make love.

All right, let's stay home so no one can see us.

I'll get the champagne to celebrate the occasion.

You've had enough to drink.

What occasion?

You know, it's like that book you once gave me to read,

Never Enough.

And the occasion being, for the first time in our lives,

I have you all to myself.

And I fully intend to take advantage of it.

You know, I wish I could swim as well as you do.

Well, come, I'll show you how.

OK.

That's it.

Just lie on my hand.

I'll hold you up.

Now, kick your legs.

One, two, three, four.

Point your toes.

Don't bend your knees.

That's it.

One, two, three, four.

That's fine.

Now, move your arms.

That's it.

One, two, three, four.

Hey, that's great.

You're marvelous.

You're not mad, mad at me?

Why would I be mad at you?

Can I kiss you?

I've never kissed a girl before.

Neither have I.

I never liked kissing boys.

It's different with you.

Didn't you ever kiss Billy?

No.

But I know you like him.

I like him better than anyone.

Except you.

You've had enough to drink.

Just one more.

Time for beddy-bye, baby.

Okay, let's go to bed.

That's not what I mean.

I mean you're gonna go to bed in your own room,

and I'm gonna go to bed in my own room.

Separate rooms, I saw that flick.

I'm not kidding.

You've gone right up to the very limit,

and somewhat past the limit,

of showing daughterly love to your father.

That's as far as it's gonna go.

Good night.

You're not going to bed without kissing me good night, are you?

I think you've given me enough good night kisses.

I've lost count,

but I think you're pushing 20.

I don't think you really love me.

Could... could I tell you a secret?

I wouldn't breathe it to a soul.

I don't really like women.

Why?

Because of my stepmother.

Your stepmother?

She was a real funny person.

Gave me a real hard time.

But one weekend when I was about 14 years old,

my dad took my brother Artie for a weekend of fishing and left the two of us alone.

She changed, just like that.

Got real affectionate all of a sudden.

When she woke me in the morning, her hand accidentally went to my breast.

She... she commented... she commented on my bosoms growing... growing bigger and...

and said how pretty I was becoming.

She looked at me so funny when I showered and...

I... I felt...

I felt scared and funny...

when her fingers went into me.

She had to help me dry myself and dress.

I asked her why she was being so nice to me all of a sudden.

She asked me if she could trust me.

I said yes.

She told me...

She told me that she had always liked me but was afraid to show it because...

Because my father knew she was A.C.D.C. before they were married,

and if she didn't pretend to dislike me, Dad would get mad and boot her out of the house.

I was shocked. I was shocked when she told me that women made love to women.

I didn't even know what boys and girls did.

She told me.

She told me plenty.

Suddenly that day I grew up real fast.

That night I almost graduated.

She had a party for a couple of her old boyfriends.

They brought over some vodka.

When I wasn't around, they spiked my coke with vodka.

When I wouldn't take my clothes off, they held me down and took them off.

I was petrified with fear and loathing.

She tried to get me to make love to her, but I wouldn't do it.

The two men held me down.

One of them grinned and said, I'm going to be next.

I'm going to show you what a man can do.

I was scared.

She started to make love to me.

All of a sudden, the door flew open and it was Dad and Artie.

And the man who was going to be next led the parade out of the house.

Only it wasn't a parade.

It was a headlong fight with Dad and Artie belding at the madly.

I never saw my stepmother again.

But I keep seeing the men all the time.

Only with different faces.

But no matter what face they're wearing,

they're always grabbing at me.

Grabbing and grabbing and grabbing.

Those goddamn grabbing men.

All except Billy.

Billy doesn't grab.

Billy is...

Billy is tender and sweet.

I think I love Billy.

Do you mind?

Poor baby.

I love you.

Poor baby.

Poor baby.

I lied to you.

I kissed Billy, but only once.

That's all right, love.

That's all right.

♪

Oh, sherry, die now.

You dirty sneak!

You're just jealous because he loves me more than you.

Look, I know you're not going to believe this,

but I was sound asleep and thought you were kissing me.

You're so right.

I'm not going to believe you.

Move out.

Where?

I don't give a damn.

Is it OK if I sleep in my own study?

You can sleep on the roof or in the swimming pool,

and don't bother to drain it.

Come on, Shirley, I didn't do anything.

It looked to me like you were about 10 seconds away from it.

Half asleep.

Which half?

Hello, darling. Did I wake you up?

Oh, I want you to do me a favor.

I want you to move in here.

Billy just fired Junior's tutor.

Cutting in on his time.

Well, you need a job and with your education, who's better to teach Junior than you?

Or you can sleep with me.

Billy's moving out, by request.

Overdid the loving daddy bit.

Yes.

Now we'll have plenty of opportunity to get to know each other better.

Billy?

Don't worry about him.

Billy's yesterday's news.

Bye, love.

Who was that? Lou Jean?

Give the man a great big cigar.

Have you been drinking or are you making it with her?

No on both scores for the time being.

But tomorrow is another day.

Now, beat it.

It's been swell, but when day's done, it's done and all that kind of thing.

Now, fini, caput, over and out.

Fury, I didn't do anything.

I think you're using this as an excuse to change your look.

I'm sorry my dim-witted ex-husband-to-be

hasn't been listening to me, Lou, these many, many years.

He hasn't heard me telling him ever since that darling baby girl was born

that he's been spoiling her rotten.

Mother wasn't allowed to spank that precious little baby that could do no wrong.

Mama couldn't make that little angel sit in the corner when she did naughty things.

There, there, Daddy'll fix it.

Sheree, you're too hard on the baby.

She's only a little child. She doesn't understand.

Yeah, a little child that dirtied her pants until she was five years of age.

You created a monster, but you wouldn't listen to me.

Well, now it's my turn to crack the whip and call a shot

before it's too late for both of you.

It's been getting worse and worse, and unless I call a halt to this utter nonsense,

next time you go to sleep drunk, you're gonna wake up inside your own daughter.

Now beat it! Get out! Now move! Scram!

I love it. So good to see you.

Let me talk to Junior. She's always seemed to like me.

Why not?

Junior?

Junior?

Junior?

Junior?

Please let me in, it's Lugine. I want to talk to you.

♪♪

Hello?

No, she's not with me.

She didn't sleep in her bed.

Have you called the police?

All right, I'll call them right away.

Yes, and I'll call there, too.

And I'll get John O'Grady on the case if he's available.

Now, don't worry, don't worry.

I'll have the studio on it also.

We'll find her.

It's all right, love. Cry it out.

Cry it out. The Eugene doesn't mind.

The Eugene loves you.

The Eugene really and truly loves you.

Oh, you really love me best.

You're the best.

The Eugene loves me.

The Eugene loves me.

The Eugene...

The Eugene...

The Eugene loves Cherie more than anyone else in the world.

But where is Sahara?

In Vegas?

At the Sahara?

Fine.

Oh, what the hell.

Tit for tat, to coin a phrase for the writer-director.

And what am I supposed to do?

Answer the telephone.

Are we even?

I guess we're even.

Okay. There's room for one more.

As the man says,

you only live once.

♪♪

The French call this a menage a trois.

I always admired the French.

So this is my parental example for the day.

Don't bother to invite me in.

I'm late for tea.

You can send my things and clothes to Sir Harry's.

The rest of them I'll give to the Salvation Army.

But you can't go live with Sir Harry.

Why not?

But...

But what, Daddy dear?

Whatever I had for you, I've just lost.

Go back under the covers with your two little playmates.

Have fun, you all, because that's what I'm going to do.

Thank you, Rose.

To Sioux Harry's now.

Goodbye.

Why are you leaving?

You don't need a babysitter anymore.

Looks like baby's all grown up.

Ready to have babies of her own.

She couldn't stay anyway.

But no thanks.

I've grown up an awful lot in the last couple of days.

Maybe some problems have been solved by what's happened.

And I'm gonna go home before I become a problem.

The menage a trois is one too many.

And someday I'll want an old-fashioned menage a deux.

So there'll be a menage a trois when the first baby arrives.