All language subtitles for Stella (2012) S05E09 (1080p NOW WEB-DL H264 SDR DDP 5.1 English - HONE)_track3_[eng]

The following programme contains
strong language.

- My family comes first.
- You leave me
no option. You're dismissed.

Hello.
I'd like you to meet Suzanne.

You reinstate Aunty Brenda as mayor
of Pontyberry with immediate effect.

Is she aware of how you feel?
She believes I hate her.

I want custody.
I'm taking you to court.

You want a fight?
Bring it on, old man.

THEME MUSIC

♪ And then she smiles

♪ And my heart starts beating,
I go weak inside

♪ La, la, la! La, la, la!

♪ La, la, la! ♪

Alright?
Yep. Just measuring my marrow.

- Hmm.
- Curse of the vegetable garden.
Everything sounds like an innuendo.

I've only just come out here, by the
way. I've been on the phone all day.
Okay.

I've tried every law firm in Cardiff.
Nothing's doing.

I'd look further afield but I wanna
- be around for the baby.
- Anything from
- Beyonce?
- No.

She won't even take my calls,
let alone let me see Jackson.

I spoke to a lawyer friend who
specialises in custody cases.
He's sent a letter.

Oh, well, that should get things
moving.

Are you gonna get changed? Rob and
Suzanne will be here in a minute.

Sure. Just gonna put this prizewinner
to bed.

Prizewinner?
You'll be lucky, Michael Jackson.

Aunty Brenda, I know you're an expert
in a wide variety of topics,

but I didn't realise that extended to
summer squashes.

George the butcher has won

the Pontyberry Flower and Produce
Show every year since 1989.

I'm not saying how, I'm not one to
make slanderful accusations -

Fair enough.
Bribery, that's how.

That and the fact that he is
very good at growing marrows.

Yeah, well, so is Michael. Look at
that.

Ah, it's like a marrow -
only smaller.

How was your day, my love?
Ah, I've been rushed off my feet,

dishing out advice
to the poor and needy.

Like that Michael Jackson.

Unemployed, going for custody
of a love child,

and now making the biggest mistake
of his whole life

by entering a marrow against
- George the butcher.
- The fool.

I'd like to wipe the smile off
George's face -

and not just because he tried to
defrock me as mayor,

although that is
a contributory factor.

Maybe I could help to wipe the smile
off his face?

What do you mean?
Mmm...

- Who is he again?
- Cerwyn Collins,
a famous poet, apparently.

Never heard of him.
Nor me.

I bet he's not a patch on Pam Ayres.

God, there's loads to do and it's
nearly half-six.

I promised Jack I'd be back
to tuck him in.

DOOR OPENS
- Bobby Gittins? Zoe Morgan?
- In here.

I have news, good news.

I have today a new job accepted at
the Conservatoire de Mort.

The Conservatoire de Mort?

The most prestigious undertaker's
academy in the world -

based in Middlesbrough.
You must be delighted?

Yes, my heart soars like an eagle on
the wind.

That's great, Ivan. Congratulations.

You took my advice then?
Making a new start

and moving away from Nadine.

This concerns Nadine not.
I have for many years wished to work
at the Conservatoire de Mort.

Also, they say Middlesbrough's
wonderful at this time of year.
Indeed they do.

So, who's gonna manage this place
for you, then, when you're gone?

I know not.

Perhaps someone who understands the
industry and has a CV as impeccable
as his fringe?

I know you're rushed off your feet,
so why don't I look after our famous
poet? I'm more than capable.

That would remove a load from my
shoulder. Also, to tell the truth,

I know nothing of poetry - apart from
Pam Ayes.

Hmm...

That's a beauty and no mistake,

like a green Hindenburg.

Did you want something,
Aunty Brenda?

Only to admire the perfect form
of your marrow.

And to give you, as they do say in
America, a heads-up

about some council business.

- Which is?
- I'm proposing, and this is
big, with a capital B,

that we change the garden waste bins
from green to red.

What? No. You know how I feel about
refuse bin colouring!

Really? I had no idea.

You will change those colours
over my dead body!

That's a price I'm willing to pay.

This is a scandal!

CLOCK TICKS

We're so sorry for your loss.
Your brother was a great man.

Indeed he was.

The finest poet of his generation.

I take it you're familiar with his
writing?

- Yes, of course.
- Absolutely.

It's so important to me that he's
laid to rest

by people who embraced his work.

Well, that's us, definitely.

So is there anything in particular
you'd like in the funeral service?

Readings of his poems, obviously.

Like some of his early work,
- perhaps?
- He burned his early poems.

Everybody knows that.

Well, yes, his early poems he did.

Then how about something from his
later period?

Yes, that's what I was thinking, too.

Did you have any thoughts on music?
I thought that would be obvious.

He writes about his musical tastes in
- the poem I Love The Beatles.
- Ah.

The Beatles it is, then.
No.

The title was ironic.
He hated The Beatles.

I thought you knew his work?
- We do.
- Of course.

Just tell me that you're planning on
involving Sian somewhere in the
service.

Definitely.
I'll just get her details.

He never left her side.

Till now.

BOTH LAUGH

Yes!

How long did he follow you for?
Up the hill and back again.

I thought, well, if the ranting
doesn't kill him,

the exercise probably will.

What? Oh, don't say you feel sorry
for him now?

No. It's just good to see you laugh
again.

You used to laugh a lot.
I laugh plenty, thank you.

I know. I was just thinking, well,
hoping that maybe

we could go back to how things
used to be back in the day?

I'll think about it.

Did you say -
I said I'll think about it.

"Sian Llewellyn ap Morfydd
was the lover and muse

of Welsh poet
Cerwyn Caradog Collins.

Her untimely death was a major
influence on his writing,

in particular the poems
Death's Dark Tunnel, Everybody Dies,

and She's Dead, She's Dead,
Dear God She's Dead."

I bet he was a laugh
on New Year's Eve.

Right, you get a book of his poems,
I'll start thinking of a colour
scheme for the funeral.

Did he do any poems about colours?
Black, Black, All Is Black.

Oh, well, that's narrowed it down.

Bobs, when's Ivan starting
his new job?

Oh, your guess is as good as mine.
I did try to ask him this morning,

but he was off to the produce show
with his wreaths.

Be awful if he didn't pick you and
he put some stranger in charge.

Oh, you're telling me about it.

Undertaking's the only thing
I'm any good at.

I've tried image consultancy,

security guarding, celebrity
reflexology.
SHE LAUGHS

It's not funny. You try massaging
Keith Chegwin's feet.

I still wake up screaming.

Right, I can't promise this'll be
any good,

but the recipe's supposed to be easy
to follow,

so if it's rubbish you can blame
Jamie Oliver.

You might wanna get drunk first.
Oi, you.

It looks lovely, Stella. What is it?

Moroccan chicken tagine.
Oh, that's posh.

Oh, no, we eat this all the time.
Yeah, alright, Michael.

The sauce has got a bit of wine in
it,

but otherwise it's low-fat so it's
good for, well, you know?

Those of us who are waiting
life or death operations?

Any news on that?
Um,... no.

Oh, Rob is a man of few words.
Sometimes I could strangle him.

Sometimes she tries.

We're still waiting for the new
consultant to give us a date.

The delay's not good, but hopefully
we'll hear soon and then we'll go to
London.

See? It wasn't so hard, was it?

Stella, this is superb.
It really is.

Did you seriously make this?
I think there's a compliment in
there somewhere.

It's always the same. They're as
sweet as kittens when you first
meet,

then, three months later, you end up
rowing about who'll take out
the trash.

Actually, we had a row when we first
met, we sort of crashed into each
other,

and she had a beautiful moment of
- road rage.
- Oh, that is so cute.

See, told you. And how did you
- and Rob meet?
- Ah, well -

Didn't Rob's construction company
build a new wing on your hospital

and you ended up arguing about
the roof tiles,

so he took you out to dinner to try
and talk you round?

I asked Luke.
HE CLEARS THROAT

Well, he told me, actually, so I
probably got the details wrong.

No, that's exactly how it happened.

Huh.

Salad, anyone?
- Thank you.
- I'm fine.

CROWD CHEERS

The Pontyberry Flower
and Produce Show is more competitive

than a Wales-England Rugby
International - and just as ugly.

Now, judging has started
but the results aren't till three,

so there's plenty of time to get
pissed on some lovely homemade wine.

Oi! Quinnell!
Watch that mouth of yours.

Fair play. Just to repeat,
the results aren't till three

so there's plenty of time
to have a drink.

Or some fucking lovely homemade wine.

People do think pansies are
just soft, cos of the name, like,

but they really are the hardiest
flower there is.

They'd survive a nuclear war, along
with cockroaches and molluscs -

and my mate Kenny - who's built his
own shelter.

I bet they won't survive
a pint of this.

I told you, it's a new batch.
It ain't half as strong.

What a fine-looking specimen.
Gotta be in with a chance there.

I thought you said it was too small?

Must've been a trick of the light.

Yeah, but George the butcher isn't
- here yet.
- Well, then,

perhaps fate is on your side today,
Michael Jackson?

Have you got hay fever or something?

Ask me no what's your names, I'll
tell you no what's your calls.

Hmm... You are, you are...
SHE CHUCKLES

Do you think you'll be like her when
- you grow up?
- I really hope not.

Right, I'd better be heading off.

If the pub's quiet, I'll try and
finish early.

Come back and watch you win first
prize.

Good luck.

I must say, that's wonderful.
What is it?

Apricot, infused with brandy,

- blended with a summer compote.
- And
marinated in a "troka" of sugars.

Sorry, what?
She means troika.

It means a blend of three things.
I know what it means.

Anyway, it's very good. Well done.

It's not even my first language
and I'm correcting you.

It's quite funny, really.

Or not funny at all.

HORN PEEPS

MECHANICAL WHIR

- Need a lift?
- No, you're alright.
Just heading into work. I could do
with the exercise.

And I could do with the company.
It's literally two minutes.
What a lovely two minutes it'll be.

Thanks again for last night.

It was fun, wasn't it?
And Suzanne's lovely.

Very, what's the word? Very Rob.

- Meaning?
- Meaning you always
land on your feet.

HE CHUCKLES
What?

I'm being nice.
I'm glad you've come over,

cos someone needs to sort you out.

Where are you two going, anyway?

I just dropped her off at Luke's.
They're taking the kids to the park.

It's nice she wants to spend time
- - with them.
- Mm.
- You're very lucky.

Well, I always land on my feet.
Huh.

Right, thanks for the lift.

So, you know we've been waiting for
- a date for the surgery?
- Oh, don't
tell me they've changed their minds?

No. It's a week today.
I heard this morning.

Oh, God, you must be so relieved.

Yeah. I mean I can think of a
hundred other things I'd rather be
doing, but yeah.

You watch. It'll be over before you
know it.

You can start running marathons
again.

Look, I'm really sorry
but I've got to go.

Sod it.
TYRES SCREECH

What are you doing? I have to start
- my shift in ten minuets.
- Oh, come
on, skive off work. Live a little.

Ohh.

DISTANT APPLAUSE

ANNOUNCEMENT OVER PA SYSTEM

CROWD CHEERS

- - Nadine Bevan.
- Ivan Slosh.
- Schloss.

Schloss.

Have you an interest in funeral
wreaths?

No. Funeral wreaths always remind me
of death.

Well, I'll be off.
Soon I must leave Pontyberry.

What?

I am to move to the historic town
of Middlesbrough.

I dunno why you're telling me.
I mean nothing to you.

And visa versa, I'm sure.

Excuse me.

DISTANT APPLAUSE

And here we are.

Where?

Oh, isn't it beautiful?
Er, yeah.

You don't remember. Shame on you.

October half-term, 1986.

We cycled up here, I got a puncture,
missed the last bus.

Spent the night in the pub and then
- Yeah, alright, I remember now.

Well, I thought it'd be fun to come
back here and have lunch.

Rob Morgan having fun?
Come on.

A walk will do us good.

- Hang on a minute.
- Ah, don't you just
love the country air?

It's the low-alcohol version.
Lower.

But still we're selling it.

And it's great for wind.
- I don't have wind.
- You will have.

I don't believe it. Clem Draper.

And you are?
Keith Baxter. Bax the Axe.

Bax. No way!

I haven't seen you since... Mexton's
- Arms, Ipswich, 1978.
- Bloody hell!

These were the days.
Pure rock and roll.

- Still at it, I see?
- Signed with them
a couple of weeks back. Nothing
serious.

Doing what you love, though?
Aye. Still skint, mind.

So what about you? What are you doing
- here?
- Got a stall. Fertiliser.

- That's great.
- It's not what you call
glamorous, but it's steady.

OVER PA
Keith Baxter, please return
to his stand.

He's got somebody who'd like to talk
- to him about -Fertiliser.
- Big shit.

Right, well, that's me then.
- Nice to see you again.
- And you.

Keep on rocking.
You too, pal.

Closed down a year or so back.
Oh, there we are then,

best be heading home.
CLUNKS

I think it's locked, Rob.

I won't tell if you won't.

And pansies are such a resilient
flower. They can even survive -
A nuclear war.

Along with molluscs and your mate
Kenny. You said.

Look, I've really gotta go,
the judging's about to start.

- Mike, can I have a word?
- So you're
- talking to me now?
- I don't wanna
argue in front of Jackson.

It's never stopped you bef...

Sorry. Neither do I.

Hello, little man.
I got the letter from your solicitor

- about the custody thing.
- Sorry, but
that's what I think's best.

- For all of us.
- No, I'm sorry for not
being honest with you.

What do you mean?
You see, the thing is...

SHE SIGHS

Jackson isn't yours.
What?

I only said you were the dad because
you're loaded.

I should never have let it go on
this long.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

Do you think I'm that stupid?
You're only doing this

to stop me applying for custody.
- What? No, it's true. Really?
- Mmm.

Yeah, cos your track record of
- telling the truth is great.
- Oh!

Oh, my God, I am not lying!

You are not Jackson's father, okay?!

CROWD GASPS

Well, if I'm not his father, who is?

Keckers.
ALL GASP

Fuckin' hell.

Keckers? Well, how can you be so
- sure?
- A girl just knows, okay?

Don't make me spell it out. Is there
anything else you want this lot

- to know, or can I go?
- I don't
believe you. I want a paternity test.

Beyonce!

And the winner is...

George the butcher.
Yes!

Would you believe it? Some little
buggers stole what they thought

was my marrow,
but that was just my safety marrow.

My prizewinners are kept under lock
and key

and are only picked by the light of
the full moon.

Some people, eh, Aunty Brenda?
Yeah.

- What was up here?
- Don't tell me
you've forgotten the bedrooms?

HE CHUCKLES

Ah, could be a little gold mine,
this place.

You should buy it then.

I might do. Tart it up a bit,
put Luke in charge.

I might even run it myself.
You could help.

SHE CHUCKLES
I know how to pull a pint, presh,

but what do I know about
running a pub?

In fact, what do you know about
running a pub?

It was just a thought.

We're friends, Rob. Nothing more.

Friends don't kiss each other.
Ah, now, look...

Friends don't leave long answerphone
messages

saying that they love you but not in
- that way.
- This isn't fair.

Even though you can hear in their
voice that it is in that way.

The truth is, Stella,

I don't think you and I can be
just friends.

CHATTERING

CHILD'S LAUGHTER

That should've been us,

seeing our boy grow up,
going on holiday.

All that stuff we never did.

Cut the self-pity,
it really doesn't suit you.

Stella...
No, don't say it.

I need to be with you, Stella,
for the rest of my life,

- however short that is.
- Oh, you're
- not playing that card.
- It's not
a card.

Sorry.

So what are you suggesting, then?

We move here, run a pub?
Forget the bloody pub.

I'll go anywhere and do anything to
be with you.

Pontyberry, Canada,
Timbuk-sodding-tu.

And what about Suzanne?
- She's not you.
- And Michael?

What about Michael?
He's not me.

- I'm not doing this.
- Stella...
WE are not doing this.

You think, if me and you had got
together,

it would've been some big
fairytale romance, but it wouldn't.

I'd have got fed up
of washing your socks,

you'd have yelled at me for loading
- the dishwasher wrong.
- I might not.

Or a million and one other boring,
- domestic things.
- There's only one
way to find out.

Oh, for fuck's sake, Rob, it's not
gonna happen.

We had a chance, and we chose
- not to take it.
- Oh, come on.

You can't, on a whim, decide you
wanna make a go of things again.
- - A whim?
- It's too late.
- Jesus.

We both left it too late.

And you're with Suzanne now
and I'm with Michael.

And not because he's second-best
but because I love him.

I know.

Remember when we'd been going out
for six months,

you made me that little silver
heart?

God, yeah, you remember that?

Well, I kept it.
Did you?

And I carry it with me in here.

Because you're always going to be
a part of my life, Rob,

and I am always going to love you,
and that doesn't change how I feel

about Michael because what me and
Michael have got is so different.

We've got Luke, you and me,

and we've got our story.

We just haven't got a future.
Oh, but we have.

Because you were so wrong when you
said you and me couldn't be friends.

We can be the best friends
on this planet,

because I am so loyal to you. And I
will kill anyone whoever hurts you,

including Suzanne, although
I think that's unlikely

because she's absolutely besotted.

Also I think she looks like she
might beat me in a fight.

I know you're scared about next
week.

It's gonna be alright, sweetheart.

SHE SIGHS

FLY BUZZES

"And tears of death that are always
willing to fall upon...

COMPUTER KEYS CLACK

...the hell and killing"

Are all his poems about death?

No, no, there's one here about a
little bunny rabbit called Hoppy...

who dies of myxomatosis.

You have not finished the arranging
of the poet's funeral?

We're getting there. It's taken us
all day to find the flowers.

- Roses of black?
- Cerwyn's favourite
colour.

The rose of black is very expensive.
Yes...

And not in the budget the extra
from our profit comes.

- It's only a few quid.
- We are not
a case of charity.

Have you finished the order of
- service?
- We're just about...
Just about?!

The funeral is tomorrow and the
printers, they are closing at six.

I've rung them, and they've said
they're happy to work late...

for a few extra quid.
What?!

No, no, no, no!

This is all acceptable.
Ivan,

have you been drinking? Again?
That is not the question.

Well, it's a question.

I have funeraled around the world for
princes and for paupers,

for stars of stage and screen.

Next week I am to arrange an open
casket funeral

for a 92-year-old queen of drag.

I do not need your help or advice.

Now go! I will sort out this mess.

Mess? What mess?
Not another word!

But it's so unfair...
No!

You're being unreasonable.
Silence! Let me work.

♪ THE BLUEBELLS: "Young At Heart"

♪ Young at heart

♪ Yet what a start

♪ Old before their time

♪ They married young

♪ For love at last

♪ Was their only crime

♪ How come I love them now?

♪ How come I love them more?

He's good, isn't he...

♪ Young at heart...
- ...your fella.
- He's not my fella.

My mistake. Talking of mistakes,

a lot of people think the pansy's
a soft flower... Go away.
Roger that.

♪ You're so young at heart

♪ How come I love them now?

♪ How come I love them more?

♪ How come I love them now?

♪ How come I love them more?

♪ When all I wanted to do...

Hello.

Boy, am I glad to see you.

Oh, sweetheart, you didn't win.

No, I came second.

- I'm so sorry.
- It's just a stupid
marrow competition.

It's not that bad.

Not as bad as what Beyonce told me
this afternoon.

♪ You're so young at heart! ♪

WHISTLING AND CHEERING

Yes, for tomorrow,

the order of services.

No, I will not pay extra.

I do not care!
Just print and deliver.

I send now.
DULL THUD

CLATTERS

DRUNKEN LAUGHTER

Going,

going,

gone.
HE LAUGHS

Oh, what a night, eh?
Shoes.

Keith was grinning
like a Cheshire cat.

He said he was gonna quit his job and
get the band back together.

I said no way,

I'm sticking here with my Brenda,

see how things play out.

He was all like, "Nah, nah,
let's just hit the road."

I said, "No way, pal.
MUSIC INTRO

I love her.

I cannae leave her again."

♪ There are many, many crazy things

♪ That will keep me loving you

♪ And with your permission

♪ May I list a few

♪ The way you wear you hat

♪ The way you sip your tea

♪ The memory of all that
♪ The memory of all that

No, no, they can't take that
away from me...

♪ The way you smile just means... ♪

LOUD CLATTER AND CAT MEOWS

I mean there's no way she can say
for sure that Keckers is the father
even if she did sleep with him.

I was right to ask for a paternity
test, wasn't I?I dunno.

What do the rest of Pontyberry
think?

Yeah, probably not the best forum
to announce that.

God, it's such a mess, isn't it?

Actually, don't answer that. Just
say, "It'll all be fine."It'll all
be fine.

- Michael?
- Yeah.

I've been having
a little think today,

and there's something I wanna talk
to you about.

HE SIGHS
Something important.

DOORBELL RINGS

Hello, Mam.
Emma!

SHE LAUGHS
Oh, my God!

What are you doing back?

This is Oak, my husband.

Namaste.

BIRDSONG

There you go.
Thanks.

Hmm... Do you want some, Oak?
Is it locally sourced?

It's from the corner shop.
Oh, right.

But is it Fair Trade?
I've no idea what that means.

But I can do you some eggs
- if you like?
- Actually, I'm vegan.

He eats chicken though. Don't you,
- babe?
- Only when my blood sugar's
low.

He's diabetic, Mam, and the doctors
didn't even spot it.

The Western doctors didn't with
their corporate blinkers.

But, Stella, please, don't worry.

I'll pick up some quinoa later on
from one of your local shops.

Good luck with that.

I'm gonna go and meditate, Titalee.
I'm a bit out of balance.

Titalee?

It's Hindi for butterfly.

Lovely, innit?
WRY LAUGH

Emma, love... You're gonna ask me
- about Sunny, aren't you?
- No.

I was gonna ask you about
your toast,

and then I was gonna ask what the
hell you mean by telling me that Oak
is your husband.

I mean, what happened with Sunny?

I thought you were gonna make a go
- of it?
- We tried it for a while,

but we soon realised we'd come to
the end of our journey together.

Ooh, is that Oak throwing his voice?

Oak isn't my husband in boring
Western terms.

The monk that did the ceremony

said our spirits were entwined for
eternity.

- Which I think's better.
- And when
exactly did all this happen?

- That's not important.
- How long have
- you known him, Em?
- Three weeks.

That's two thanks but no thanks from
people who said they'd consider me.

I bet you anything Maria's behind all
of this. Giving me a crappy
reference.

If there was a cat here I'd kick it.
Hey,

it's life's gift to sends us
challenges.

The wings of a dove are stronger

than the swords of a thousand
- armies.
- Ohh.

Titalee, where's my meditation
cushion?

In my rucksack, under your iPad.

GENTLE GRUNT

Oh.

Good morning, my sweet.

I made you breakfast. Five minutes.

SNIFFING

Oh.

HE HUMS

What's all this?
It's been fun, Clem, it really has.

B?But you're the proverbial
rolling stone

and I'm a stick-in-the-mud.

I don't want to spend my life
telling you what you should or
shouldn't be doing,

even if I could do so
with uncanny accuracy.

But I want to be with you.

Last night Keith was going on about
going back on the road,

with all expenses paid.
Mind, the guy's loaded.

But I still said no in a heartbeat.

It wasn't a heartbeat, beaut.

The two of you talked about it
for over an hour,

laughing and joking.

What are you gonna do stuck here
in Pontyberry?

I mean, yes, you love the prestige
of being married

to a local celebrity-slash-political
firebrand,

but deep down you and me are as
different as chalk and cheesecake.

If I were you, I'd go and see that
Keith fella and have a chat.

HE SIGHS

HE SIGHS

Last night, when we came home,

did we...?

No.

Ah.

Yes.

ORGAN PLAYS

He's still not answering his phone.
Should be just tell Rev Watts
to get started?

You can't start a funeral without an
order of service. We're not animals.

Ohh.

I have them here. I have just from
the printers picked them up.

- Give these out forthwith.
- Right,
- all set, ready to go?
- Just giving
out the order of service.

Thank goodness. To be honest, I
don't know anything about
Cerwyn Collins.

Any information gladly received.
Oh, my God. Sorry.

Ivan, did you check these?
There was no time. Come,

we must not delay.
Only I am pretty sure Cerwyn Collins

wasn't a 92-year-old drag queen.

Why are you working up here?
I tried downstairs, but Oak starting
telling me about ley lines.

Anyway, I'm heading to Cardiff
in a bit to do some networking,
try and drum up some work.

I thought we could have dinner
tonight.

You'll be back about eight-ish,
- won't you?
- Hopefully.

I've no idea who's gonna see me
or when.

I just thought it'd be nice to,
you know, catch up,

- have a chat and stuff.
- I know.
It's just this custody case,

when it comes to court,
the first question the judge'll ask

will be about my finances.
I can hardly say I'm unemployed.

What about what's his face,
- Al Komadi?
- There's no point.

Maria's contacted everyone I worked
with, poured poison in their ears.
Tell them she's wrong.

It's not that easy, If it was, I'd do
it. Anyway,

there's such a thing as
- professional pride.
- Okay.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's just I'm a bit
stressed.

I'll be back for dinner, I promise.

Sadly, Cerwyn is no longer with us,

and that is very sad indeed.

But his memory lives on

in some of his best remembered
poems.

Like, um...

She's Deaf.
CONGREGATION MUTTERS

And, of course...

Helen Keller.

- Anyway... Tsk.
- We are blessed that
Gwyneth, his beloved sister,

is here to read perhaps his most
famous work,

which may be in the order of
service.

Um...
Er, a bit of a mix-up there. Sorry.

Luckily for you, I don't need it.
I know it off by heart.

Everybody Dies, by Cerwyn Collins.

Oh. Ooh.

Oh, I'm sorry, I can't.

SHE SOBS
Oh, I can't.

Allow me.

"The postman walking down the lane

will die alone

Engulfed in pain

All of us will die

Die..."

Oh, it goes on like that for another
15 verses. To be honest, it is a bit
depr...

But, at the end,

there's a verse about the one thing
that made him happy,

the love of his life. Sian.

"Then rising through
the hurt and sorrow

A reason comes to see tomorrow

For though me may be worlds apart

She lives forever

In my heart"

Even though she died, Sian stayed
with Cerwyn throughout his life.

Both in here

and in the urn.

So it seems fitting that they be
buried together.

WOODEN CREAK

LOUD CLUNK

I've not been so moved since
my father

was jailed for stealing a horse.

There is no doubt you have what it
takes to be a master undertaker.

The manager's position is yours.

HE GASPS

Thank you, Ivan. Thank you.
I won't let you down, promise.

I got the job!
Agh!

BOTH LAUGH

Sorry for your loss.

Stell?

Stella?

CREAKS OPEN

What do you think?
It's incredible.

- What's going on?
- I'm being romantic.
In the allotment?

What's wrong with the allotment?
You've shagged me enough times in
that shed.

I thought you were being romantic?

Fancy some champagne?
Yes.

Actually, I've bought some as well.

Hmm.

We've got something to celebrate.

- Which is?
- Well, after a fruitless
job search in Cardiff,

I thought, "What would Stella do in
this situation?"

So I took your advice
and I called Al Komadi.

And?
He offered me a job.

- Serious?
- A couple of days a week in
the office

but mainly working from home,
so I get more time with Jackson

once this paternity thing's sorted.
Anyway,

thank you.
CHINK

I should listen to you more often.
You really should.

Hang on a minute. Why have you got
champagne?

Well,

you see, the thing is...

Um...

I don't want to be your lovely
girlfriend any more.

Okay.

I want to be your lovely wife.

So are you doing what I think you're
doing... Shut up.

I've rehearsed this and everything.

CLEARS THROAT
Michael Matthew Jackson,

will you do me the honour...
Shouldn't you be down on one knee?
- In the mud?
- That's what I'd do.

Well, you really expect... Where's
- my ring?
- Men don't have rings.

- Sexist.
- Are you trying to put me off
- on purpose?
- Sorry.

I think I'm a bit nervous.

Go on.

Oh, I've lost my drift now.

Sorry.

Michael,

I love you,

totally,

and unreservedly,

and completely, and unconditionally,

and, um...

Well, do you want to marry me
or what?

Like you wouldn't believe.

♪ I may not have the softest touch

♪ I may not say the words as such

♪ I know I don't fit in that much

♪ But I'm yours... ♪

I just heard you two are getting
married.

If I do not ask you this, I will live
with regret until my dying breath.

- Are you all right, Lukey?
- Yeah, you
know me, Mam. Nerves of steel.

This is exactly what it looks like.

You still love her, don't you, Rob?

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