Original subtitles

The following programme contains strong language.

- My family comes first. - You leave me no option. You're dismissed.

Hello. I'd like you to meet Suzanne.

You reinstate Aunty Brenda as mayor of Pontyberry with immediate effect.

Is she aware of how you feel? She believes I hate her.

I want custody. I'm taking you to court.

You want a fight? Bring it on, old man.

THEME MUSIC

♪ And then she smiles

♪ And my heart starts beating, I go weak inside

♪ La, la, la! La, la, la!

♪ La, la, la! ♪

Alright? Yep. Just measuring my marrow.

- Hmm. - Curse of the vegetable garden. Everything sounds like an innuendo.

I've only just come out here, by the way. I've been on the phone all day. Okay.

I've tried every law firm in Cardiff. Nothing's doing.

I'd look further afield but I wanna - be around for the baby. - Anything from - Beyonce? - No.

She won't even take my calls, let alone let me see Jackson.

I spoke to a lawyer friend who specialises in custody cases. He's sent a letter.

Oh, well, that should get things moving.

Are you gonna get changed? Rob and Suzanne will be here in a minute.

Sure. Just gonna put this prizewinner to bed.

Prizewinner? You'll be lucky, Michael Jackson.

Aunty Brenda, I know you're an expert in a wide variety of topics,

but I didn't realise that extended to summer squashes.

George the butcher has won

the Pontyberry Flower and Produce Show every year since 1989.

I'm not saying how, I'm not one to make slanderful accusations -

Fair enough. Bribery, that's how.

That and the fact that he is very good at growing marrows.

Yeah, well, so is Michael. Look at that.

Ah, it's like a marrow - only smaller.

How was your day, my love? Ah, I've been rushed off my feet,

dishing out advice to the poor and needy.

Like that Michael Jackson.

Unemployed, going for custody of a love child,

and now making the biggest mistake of his whole life

by entering a marrow against - George the butcher. - The fool.

I'd like to wipe the smile off George's face -

and not just because he tried to defrock me as mayor,

although that is a contributory factor.

Maybe I could help to wipe the smile off his face?

What do you mean? Mmm...

- Who is he again? - Cerwyn Collins, a famous poet, apparently.

Never heard of him. Nor me.

I bet he's not a patch on Pam Ayres.

God, there's loads to do and it's nearly half-six.

I promised Jack I'd be back to tuck him in.

DOOR OPENS - Bobby Gittins? Zoe Morgan? - In here.

I have news, good news.

I have today a new job accepted at the Conservatoire de Mort.

The Conservatoire de Mort?

The most prestigious undertaker's academy in the world -

based in Middlesbrough. You must be delighted?

Yes, my heart soars like an eagle on the wind.

That's great, Ivan. Congratulations.

You took my advice then? Making a new start

and moving away from Nadine.

This concerns Nadine not. I have for many years wished to work at the Conservatoire de Mort.

Also, they say Middlesbrough's wonderful at this time of year. Indeed they do.

So, who's gonna manage this place for you, then, when you're gone?

I know not.

Perhaps someone who understands the industry and has a CV as impeccable as his fringe?

I know you're rushed off your feet, so why don't I look after our famous poet? I'm more than capable.

That would remove a load from my shoulder. Also, to tell the truth,

I know nothing of poetry - apart from Pam Ayes.

Hmm...

That's a beauty and no mistake,

like a green Hindenburg.

Did you want something, Aunty Brenda?

Only to admire the perfect form of your marrow.

And to give you, as they do say in America, a heads-up

about some council business.

- Which is? - I'm proposing, and this is big, with a capital B,

that we change the garden waste bins from green to red.

What? No. You know how I feel about refuse bin colouring!

Really? I had no idea.

You will change those colours over my dead body!

That's a price I'm willing to pay.

This is a scandal!

CLOCK TICKS

We're so sorry for your loss. Your brother was a great man.

Indeed he was.

The finest poet of his generation.

I take it you're familiar with his writing?

- Yes, of course. - Absolutely.

It's so important to me that he's laid to rest

by people who embraced his work.

Well, that's us, definitely.

So is there anything in particular you'd like in the funeral service?

Readings of his poems, obviously.

Like some of his early work, - perhaps? - He burned his early poems.

Everybody knows that.

Well, yes, his early poems he did.

Then how about something from his later period?

Yes, that's what I was thinking, too.

Did you have any thoughts on music? I thought that would be obvious.

He writes about his musical tastes in - the poem I Love The Beatles. - Ah.

The Beatles it is, then. No.

The title was ironic. He hated The Beatles.

I thought you knew his work? - We do. - Of course.

Just tell me that you're planning on involving Sian somewhere in the service.

Definitely. I'll just get her details.

He never left her side.

Till now.

BOTH LAUGH

Yes!

How long did he follow you for? Up the hill and back again.

I thought, well, if the ranting doesn't kill him,

the exercise probably will.

What? Oh, don't say you feel sorry for him now?

No. It's just good to see you laugh again.

You used to laugh a lot. I laugh plenty, thank you.

I know. I was just thinking, well, hoping that maybe

we could go back to how things used to be back in the day?

I'll think about it.

Did you say - I said I'll think about it.

"Sian Llewellyn ap Morfydd was the lover and muse

of Welsh poet Cerwyn Caradog Collins.

Her untimely death was a major influence on his writing,

in particular the poems Death's Dark Tunnel, Everybody Dies,

and She's Dead, She's Dead, Dear God She's Dead."

I bet he was a laugh on New Year's Eve.

Right, you get a book of his poems, I'll start thinking of a colour scheme for the funeral.

Did he do any poems about colours? Black, Black, All Is Black.

Oh, well, that's narrowed it down.

Bobs, when's Ivan starting his new job?

Oh, your guess is as good as mine. I did try to ask him this morning,

but he was off to the produce show with his wreaths.

Be awful if he didn't pick you and he put some stranger in charge.

Oh, you're telling me about it.

Undertaking's the only thing I'm any good at.

I've tried image consultancy,

security guarding, celebrity reflexology. SHE LAUGHS

It's not funny. You try massaging Keith Chegwin's feet.

I still wake up screaming.

Right, I can't promise this'll be any good,

but the recipe's supposed to be easy to follow,

so if it's rubbish you can blame Jamie Oliver.

You might wanna get drunk first. Oi, you.

It looks lovely, Stella. What is it?

Moroccan chicken tagine. Oh, that's posh.

Oh, no, we eat this all the time. Yeah, alright, Michael.

The sauce has got a bit of wine in it,

but otherwise it's low-fat so it's good for, well, you know?

Those of us who are waiting life or death operations?

Any news on that? Um,... no.

Oh, Rob is a man of few words. Sometimes I could strangle him.

Sometimes she tries.

We're still waiting for the new consultant to give us a date.

The delay's not good, but hopefully we'll hear soon and then we'll go to London.

See? It wasn't so hard, was it?

Stella, this is superb. It really is.

Did you seriously make this? I think there's a compliment in there somewhere.

It's always the same. They're as sweet as kittens when you first meet,

then, three months later, you end up rowing about who'll take out the trash.

Actually, we had a row when we first met, we sort of crashed into each other,

and she had a beautiful moment of - road rage. - Oh, that is so cute.

See, told you. And how did you - and Rob meet? - Ah, well -

Didn't Rob's construction company build a new wing on your hospital

and you ended up arguing about the roof tiles,

so he took you out to dinner to try and talk you round?

I asked Luke. HE CLEARS THROAT

Well, he told me, actually, so I probably got the details wrong.

No, that's exactly how it happened.

Huh.

Salad, anyone? - Thank you. - I'm fine.

CROWD CHEERS

The Pontyberry Flower and Produce Show is more competitive

than a Wales-England Rugby International - and just as ugly.

Now, judging has started but the results aren't till three,

so there's plenty of time to get pissed on some lovely homemade wine.

Oi! Quinnell! Watch that mouth of yours.

Fair play. Just to repeat, the results aren't till three

so there's plenty of time to have a drink.

Or some fucking lovely homemade wine.

People do think pansies are just soft, cos of the name, like,

but they really are the hardiest flower there is.

They'd survive a nuclear war, along with cockroaches and molluscs -

and my mate Kenny - who's built his own shelter.

I bet they won't survive a pint of this.

I told you, it's a new batch. It ain't half as strong.

What a fine-looking specimen. Gotta be in with a chance there.

I thought you said it was too small?

Must've been a trick of the light.

Yeah, but George the butcher isn't - here yet. - Well, then,

perhaps fate is on your side today, Michael Jackson?

Have you got hay fever or something?

Ask me no what's your names, I'll tell you no what's your calls.

Hmm... You are, you are... SHE CHUCKLES

Do you think you'll be like her when - you grow up? - I really hope not.

Right, I'd better be heading off.

If the pub's quiet, I'll try and finish early.

Come back and watch you win first prize.

Good luck.

I must say, that's wonderful. What is it?

Apricot, infused with brandy,

- blended with a summer compote. - And marinated in a "troka" of sugars.

Sorry, what? She means troika.

It means a blend of three things. I know what it means.

Anyway, it's very good. Well done.

It's not even my first language and I'm correcting you.

It's quite funny, really.

Or not funny at all.

HORN PEEPS

MECHANICAL WHIR

- Need a lift? - No, you're alright. Just heading into work. I could do with the exercise.

And I could do with the company. It's literally two minutes. What a lovely two minutes it'll be.

Thanks again for last night.

It was fun, wasn't it? And Suzanne's lovely.

Very, what's the word? Very Rob.

- Meaning? - Meaning you always land on your feet.

HE CHUCKLES What?

I'm being nice. I'm glad you've come over,

cos someone needs to sort you out.

Where are you two going, anyway?

I just dropped her off at Luke's. They're taking the kids to the park.

It's nice she wants to spend time - - with them. - Mm. - You're very lucky.

Well, I always land on my feet. Huh.

Right, thanks for the lift.

So, you know we've been waiting for - a date for the surgery? - Oh, don't tell me they've changed their minds?

No. It's a week today. I heard this morning.

Oh, God, you must be so relieved.

Yeah. I mean I can think of a hundred other things I'd rather be doing, but yeah.

You watch. It'll be over before you know it.

You can start running marathons again.

Look, I'm really sorry but I've got to go.

Sod it. TYRES SCREECH

What are you doing? I have to start - my shift in ten minuets. - Oh, come on, skive off work. Live a little.

Ohh.

DISTANT APPLAUSE

ANNOUNCEMENT OVER PA SYSTEM

CROWD CHEERS

- - Nadine Bevan. - Ivan Slosh. - Schloss.

Schloss.

Have you an interest in funeral wreaths?

No. Funeral wreaths always remind me of death.

Well, I'll be off. Soon I must leave Pontyberry.

What?

I am to move to the historic town of Middlesbrough.

I dunno why you're telling me. I mean nothing to you.

And visa versa, I'm sure.

Excuse me.

DISTANT APPLAUSE

And here we are.

Where?

Oh, isn't it beautiful? Er, yeah.

You don't remember. Shame on you.

October half-term, 1986.

We cycled up here, I got a puncture, missed the last bus.

Spent the night in the pub and then - Yeah, alright, I remember now.

Well, I thought it'd be fun to come back here and have lunch.

Rob Morgan having fun? Come on.

A walk will do us good.

- Hang on a minute. - Ah, don't you just love the country air?

It's the low-alcohol version. Lower.

But still we're selling it.

And it's great for wind. - I don't have wind. - You will have.

I don't believe it. Clem Draper.

And you are? Keith Baxter. Bax the Axe.

Bax. No way!

I haven't seen you since... Mexton's - Arms, Ipswich, 1978. - Bloody hell!

These were the days. Pure rock and roll.

- Still at it, I see? - Signed with them a couple of weeks back. Nothing serious.

Doing what you love, though? Aye. Still skint, mind.

So what about you? What are you doing - here? - Got a stall. Fertiliser.

- That's great. - It's not what you call glamorous, but it's steady.

OVER PA Keith Baxter, please return to his stand.

He's got somebody who'd like to talk - to him about -Fertiliser. - Big shit.

Right, well, that's me then. - Nice to see you again. - And you.

Keep on rocking. You too, pal.

Closed down a year or so back. Oh, there we are then,

best be heading home. CLUNKS

I think it's locked, Rob.

I won't tell if you won't.

And pansies are such a resilient flower. They can even survive - A nuclear war.

Along with molluscs and your mate Kenny. You said.

Look, I've really gotta go, the judging's about to start.

- Mike, can I have a word? - So you're - talking to me now? - I don't wanna argue in front of Jackson.

It's never stopped you bef...

Sorry. Neither do I.

Hello, little man. I got the letter from your solicitor

- about the custody thing. - Sorry, but that's what I think's best.

- For all of us. - No, I'm sorry for not being honest with you.

What do you mean? You see, the thing is...

SHE SIGHS

Jackson isn't yours. What?

I only said you were the dad because you're loaded.

I should never have let it go on this long.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

Do you think I'm that stupid? You're only doing this

to stop me applying for custody. - What? No, it's true. Really? - Mmm.

Yeah, cos your track record of - telling the truth is great. - Oh!

Oh, my God, I am not lying!

You are not Jackson's father, okay?!

CROWD GASPS

Well, if I'm not his father, who is?

Keckers. ALL GASP

Fuckin' hell.

Keckers? Well, how can you be so - sure? - A girl just knows, okay?

Don't make me spell it out. Is there anything else you want this lot

- to know, or can I go? - I don't believe you. I want a paternity test.

Beyonce!

And the winner is...

George the butcher. Yes!

Would you believe it? Some little buggers stole what they thought

was my marrow, but that was just my safety marrow.

My prizewinners are kept under lock and key

and are only picked by the light of the full moon.

Some people, eh, Aunty Brenda? Yeah.

- What was up here? - Don't tell me you've forgotten the bedrooms?

HE CHUCKLES

Ah, could be a little gold mine, this place.

You should buy it then.

I might do. Tart it up a bit, put Luke in charge.

I might even run it myself. You could help.

SHE CHUCKLES I know how to pull a pint, presh,

but what do I know about running a pub?

In fact, what do you know about running a pub?

It was just a thought.

We're friends, Rob. Nothing more.

Friends don't kiss each other. Ah, now, look...

Friends don't leave long answerphone messages

saying that they love you but not in - that way. - This isn't fair.

Even though you can hear in their voice that it is in that way.

The truth is, Stella,

I don't think you and I can be just friends.

CHATTERING

CHILD'S LAUGHTER

That should've been us,

seeing our boy grow up, going on holiday.

All that stuff we never did.

Cut the self-pity, it really doesn't suit you.

Stella... No, don't say it.

I need to be with you, Stella, for the rest of my life,

- however short that is. - Oh, you're - not playing that card. - It's not a card.

Sorry.

So what are you suggesting, then?

We move here, run a pub? Forget the bloody pub.

I'll go anywhere and do anything to be with you.

Pontyberry, Canada, Timbuk-sodding-tu.

And what about Suzanne? - She's not you. - And Michael?

What about Michael? He's not me.

- I'm not doing this. - Stella... WE are not doing this.

You think, if me and you had got together,

it would've been some big fairytale romance, but it wouldn't.

I'd have got fed up of washing your socks,

you'd have yelled at me for loading - the dishwasher wrong. - I might not.

Or a million and one other boring, - domestic things. - There's only one way to find out.

Oh, for fuck's sake, Rob, it's not gonna happen.

We had a chance, and we chose - not to take it. - Oh, come on.

You can't, on a whim, decide you wanna make a go of things again. - - A whim? - It's too late. - Jesus.

We both left it too late.

And you're with Suzanne now and I'm with Michael.

And not because he's second-best but because I love him.

I know.

Remember when we'd been going out for six months,

you made me that little silver heart?

God, yeah, you remember that?

Well, I kept it. Did you?

And I carry it with me in here.

Because you're always going to be a part of my life, Rob,

and I am always going to love you, and that doesn't change how I feel

about Michael because what me and Michael have got is so different.

We've got Luke, you and me,

and we've got our story.

We just haven't got a future. Oh, but we have.

Because you were so wrong when you said you and me couldn't be friends.

We can be the best friends on this planet,

because I am so loyal to you. And I will kill anyone whoever hurts you,

including Suzanne, although I think that's unlikely

because she's absolutely besotted.

Also I think she looks like she might beat me in a fight.

I know you're scared about next week.

It's gonna be alright, sweetheart.

SHE SIGHS

FLY BUZZES

"And tears of death that are always willing to fall upon...

COMPUTER KEYS CLACK

...the hell and killing"

Are all his poems about death?

No, no, there's one here about a little bunny rabbit called Hoppy...

who dies of myxomatosis.

You have not finished the arranging of the poet's funeral?

We're getting there. It's taken us all day to find the flowers.

- Roses of black? - Cerwyn's favourite colour.

The rose of black is very expensive. Yes...

And not in the budget the extra from our profit comes.

- It's only a few quid. - We are not a case of charity.

Have you finished the order of - service? - We're just about... Just about?!

The funeral is tomorrow and the printers, they are closing at six.

I've rung them, and they've said they're happy to work late...

for a few extra quid. What?!

No, no, no, no!

This is all acceptable. Ivan,

have you been drinking? Again? That is not the question.

Well, it's a question.

I have funeraled around the world for princes and for paupers,

for stars of stage and screen.

Next week I am to arrange an open casket funeral

for a 92-year-old queen of drag.

I do not need your help or advice.

Now go! I will sort out this mess.

Mess? What mess? Not another word!

But it's so unfair... No!

You're being unreasonable. Silence! Let me work.

♪ THE BLUEBELLS: "Young At Heart"

♪ Young at heart

♪ Yet what a start

♪ Old before their time

♪ They married young

♪ For love at last

♪ Was their only crime

♪ How come I love them now?

♪ How come I love them more?

He's good, isn't he...

♪ Young at heart... - ...your fella. - He's not my fella.

My mistake. Talking of mistakes,

a lot of people think the pansy's a soft flower... Go away. Roger that.

♪ You're so young at heart

♪ How come I love them now?

♪ How come I love them more?

♪ How come I love them now?

♪ How come I love them more?

♪ When all I wanted to do...

Hello.

Boy, am I glad to see you.

Oh, sweetheart, you didn't win.

No, I came second.

- I'm so sorry. - It's just a stupid marrow competition.

It's not that bad.

Not as bad as what Beyonce told me this afternoon.

♪ You're so young at heart! ♪

WHISTLING AND CHEERING

Yes, for tomorrow,

the order of services.

No, I will not pay extra.

I do not care! Just print and deliver.

I send now. DULL THUD

CLATTERS

DRUNKEN LAUGHTER

Going,

going,

gone. HE LAUGHS

Oh, what a night, eh? Shoes.

Keith was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

He said he was gonna quit his job and get the band back together.

I said no way,

I'm sticking here with my Brenda,

see how things play out.

He was all like, "Nah, nah, let's just hit the road."

I said, "No way, pal. MUSIC INTRO

I love her.

I cannae leave her again."

♪ There are many, many crazy things

♪ That will keep me loving you

♪ And with your permission

♪ May I list a few

♪ The way you wear you hat

♪ The way you sip your tea

♪ The memory of all that ♪ The memory of all that

No, no, they can't take that away from me...

♪ The way you smile just means... ♪

LOUD CLATTER AND CAT MEOWS

I mean there's no way she can say for sure that Keckers is the father even if she did sleep with him.

I was right to ask for a paternity test, wasn't I?I dunno.

What do the rest of Pontyberry think?

Yeah, probably not the best forum to announce that.

God, it's such a mess, isn't it?

Actually, don't answer that. Just say, "It'll all be fine."It'll all be fine.

- Michael? - Yeah.

I've been having a little think today,

and there's something I wanna talk to you about.

HE SIGHS Something important.

DOORBELL RINGS

Hello, Mam. Emma!

SHE LAUGHS Oh, my God!

What are you doing back?

This is Oak, my husband.

Namaste.

BIRDSONG

There you go. Thanks.

Hmm... Do you want some, Oak? Is it locally sourced?

It's from the corner shop. Oh, right.

But is it Fair Trade? I've no idea what that means.

But I can do you some eggs - if you like? - Actually, I'm vegan.

He eats chicken though. Don't you, - babe? - Only when my blood sugar's low.

He's diabetic, Mam, and the doctors didn't even spot it.

The Western doctors didn't with their corporate blinkers.

But, Stella, please, don't worry.

I'll pick up some quinoa later on from one of your local shops.

Good luck with that.

I'm gonna go and meditate, Titalee. I'm a bit out of balance.

Titalee?

It's Hindi for butterfly.

Lovely, innit? WRY LAUGH

Emma, love... You're gonna ask me - about Sunny, aren't you? - No.

I was gonna ask you about your toast,

and then I was gonna ask what the hell you mean by telling me that Oak is your husband.

I mean, what happened with Sunny?

I thought you were gonna make a go - of it? - We tried it for a while,

but we soon realised we'd come to the end of our journey together.

Ooh, is that Oak throwing his voice?

Oak isn't my husband in boring Western terms.

The monk that did the ceremony

said our spirits were entwined for eternity.

- Which I think's better. - And when exactly did all this happen?

- That's not important. - How long have - you known him, Em? - Three weeks.

That's two thanks but no thanks from people who said they'd consider me.

I bet you anything Maria's behind all of this. Giving me a crappy reference.

If there was a cat here I'd kick it. Hey,

it's life's gift to sends us challenges.

The wings of a dove are stronger

than the swords of a thousand - armies. - Ohh.

Titalee, where's my meditation cushion?

In my rucksack, under your iPad.

GENTLE GRUNT

Oh.

Good morning, my sweet.

I made you breakfast. Five minutes.

SNIFFING

Oh.

HE HUMS

What's all this? It's been fun, Clem, it really has.

B?But you're the proverbial rolling stone

and I'm a stick-in-the-mud.

I don't want to spend my life telling you what you should or shouldn't be doing,

even if I could do so with uncanny accuracy.

But I want to be with you.

Last night Keith was going on about going back on the road,

with all expenses paid. Mind, the guy's loaded.

But I still said no in a heartbeat.

It wasn't a heartbeat, beaut.

The two of you talked about it for over an hour,

laughing and joking.

What are you gonna do stuck here in Pontyberry?

I mean, yes, you love the prestige of being married

to a local celebrity-slash-political firebrand,

but deep down you and me are as different as chalk and cheesecake.

If I were you, I'd go and see that Keith fella and have a chat.

HE SIGHS

HE SIGHS

Last night, when we came home,

did we...?

No.

Ah.

Yes.

ORGAN PLAYS

He's still not answering his phone. Should be just tell Rev Watts to get started?

You can't start a funeral without an order of service. We're not animals.

Ohh.

I have them here. I have just from the printers picked them up.

- Give these out forthwith. - Right, - all set, ready to go? - Just giving out the order of service.

Thank goodness. To be honest, I don't know anything about Cerwyn Collins.

Any information gladly received. Oh, my God. Sorry.

Ivan, did you check these? There was no time. Come,

we must not delay. Only I am pretty sure Cerwyn Collins

wasn't a 92-year-old drag queen.

Why are you working up here? I tried downstairs, but Oak starting telling me about ley lines.

Anyway, I'm heading to Cardiff in a bit to do some networking, try and drum up some work.

I thought we could have dinner tonight.

You'll be back about eight-ish, - won't you? - Hopefully.

I've no idea who's gonna see me or when.

I just thought it'd be nice to, you know, catch up,

- have a chat and stuff. - I know. It's just this custody case,

when it comes to court, the first question the judge'll ask

will be about my finances. I can hardly say I'm unemployed.

What about what's his face, - Al Komadi? - There's no point.

Maria's contacted everyone I worked with, poured poison in their ears. Tell them she's wrong.

It's not that easy, If it was, I'd do it. Anyway,

there's such a thing as - professional pride. - Okay.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's just I'm a bit stressed.

I'll be back for dinner, I promise.

Sadly, Cerwyn is no longer with us,

and that is very sad indeed.

But his memory lives on

in some of his best remembered poems.

Like, um...

She's Deaf. CONGREGATION MUTTERS

And, of course...

Helen Keller.

- Anyway... Tsk. - We are blessed that Gwyneth, his beloved sister,

is here to read perhaps his most famous work,

which may be in the order of service.

Um... Er, a bit of a mix-up there. Sorry.

Luckily for you, I don't need it. I know it off by heart.

Everybody Dies, by Cerwyn Collins.

Oh. Ooh.

Oh, I'm sorry, I can't.

SHE SOBS Oh, I can't.

Allow me.

"The postman walking down the lane

will die alone

Engulfed in pain

All of us will die

Die..."

Oh, it goes on like that for another 15 verses. To be honest, it is a bit depr...

But, at the end,

there's a verse about the one thing that made him happy,

the love of his life. Sian.

"Then rising through the hurt and sorrow

A reason comes to see tomorrow

For though me may be worlds apart

She lives forever

In my heart"

Even though she died, Sian stayed with Cerwyn throughout his life.

Both in here

and in the urn.

So it seems fitting that they be buried together.

WOODEN CREAK

LOUD CLUNK

I've not been so moved since my father

was jailed for stealing a horse.

There is no doubt you have what it takes to be a master undertaker.

The manager's position is yours.

HE GASPS

Thank you, Ivan. Thank you. I won't let you down, promise.

I got the job! Agh!

BOTH LAUGH

Sorry for your loss.

Stell?

Stella?

CREAKS OPEN

What do you think? It's incredible.

- What's going on? - I'm being romantic. In the allotment?

What's wrong with the allotment? You've shagged me enough times in that shed.

I thought you were being romantic?

Fancy some champagne? Yes.

Actually, I've bought some as well.

Hmm.

We've got something to celebrate.

- Which is? - Well, after a fruitless job search in Cardiff,

I thought, "What would Stella do in this situation?"

So I took your advice and I called Al Komadi.

And? He offered me a job.

- Serious? - A couple of days a week in the office

but mainly working from home, so I get more time with Jackson

once this paternity thing's sorted. Anyway,

thank you. CHINK

I should listen to you more often. You really should.

Hang on a minute. Why have you got champagne?

Well,

you see, the thing is...

Um...

I don't want to be your lovely girlfriend any more.

Okay.

I want to be your lovely wife.

So are you doing what I think you're doing... Shut up.

I've rehearsed this and everything.

CLEARS THROAT Michael Matthew Jackson,

will you do me the honour... Shouldn't you be down on one knee? - In the mud? - That's what I'd do.

Well, you really expect... Where's - my ring? - Men don't have rings.

- Sexist. - Are you trying to put me off - on purpose? - Sorry.

I think I'm a bit nervous.

Go on.

Oh, I've lost my drift now.

Sorry.

Michael,

I love you,

totally,

and unreservedly,

and completely, and unconditionally,

and, um...

Well, do you want to marry me or what?

Like you wouldn't believe.

♪ I may not have the softest touch

♪ I may not say the words as such

♪ I know I don't fit in that much

♪ But I'm yours... ♪

I just heard you two are getting married.

If I do not ask you this, I will live with regret until my dying breath.

- Are you all right, Lukey? - Yeah, you know me, Mam. Nerves of steel.

This is exactly what it looks like.

You still love her, don't you, Rob?

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