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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,937
Ah-chi!
2
00:00:04,037 --> 00:00:05,105
Look at those big cheeks.
3
00:00:05,205 --> 00:00:08,441
I should wake him up,
he probably needs a change.
4
00:00:08,541 --> 00:00:10,844
What's wrong with you,
Stephen Harper?
5
00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:13,646
You never wake a sleeping baby.
6
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:16,449
I paid for that bologna.
7
00:00:16,549 --> 00:00:19,085
Give it back.
8
00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:22,422
Paul Junior just woke up.
9
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:23,823
All: Ah.
10
00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:26,593
You have 21 seconds. Times up!
11
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,462
Great, he's having
nap-terrors again.
12
00:00:29,562 --> 00:00:31,031
Oh, he must have
got into PJ snacks.
13
00:00:31,131 --> 00:00:37,303
I want my bologna.
14
00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:41,174
I'll handle this.
15
00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:43,443
Easy, Paul.
16
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,111
There, there.
Nobody took your bologna
17
00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:48,281
and nobody needs to get hurt.
18
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:52,185
(grunting)
19
00:00:52,285 --> 00:00:54,854
Your dads are
just horsing around.
20
00:00:54,954 --> 00:00:57,557
(grunting)
21
00:00:57,657 --> 00:01:01,694
♪ 'Cause I can love you, baby ♪
22
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:04,731
♪ All night long ♪
23
00:01:04,831 --> 00:01:07,667
Roger: This is
Laughingstick in the Morning
24
00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:09,169
and we're celebrating
Agnes' birthday today,
25
00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:12,238
and what a year it's been!
26
00:01:12,338 --> 00:01:14,140
Her daughter, Jo,
became National Chief
27
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,977
and lives in Ottawa. Ho'leh!
28
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:22,682
With Jo gone, Agnes had
Paul's attachment chopped off
29
00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:26,586
and reattached to the lodge
so Chickadee can be close by.
30
00:01:26,686 --> 00:01:30,423
That's two grandkids
in the same house.
31
00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:33,093
Everything's coming up, Agnes!
32
00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:36,529
Hopefully the weather
will hold up,
33
00:01:36,629 --> 00:01:38,865
but, in the meantime,
here's Sassy Molassy
34
00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:41,034
and the Sassy Molassies
with their hit song,
35
00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:43,937
"Who Put the Sassy
in My Molassy?"
36
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:47,373
This one's for you, Chief Jo.
Good luck in Ottawa.
37
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,276
Everyone, quick! Get in here!
38
00:01:50,376 --> 00:01:53,947
Paul Jr. is gonna put on a show.
39
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:55,915
(chuckling)
40
00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:58,651
Yo, PJ the DJ. Drop that beat!
41
00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:08,061
I said, PJ the DJ,
drop that beat, yo!
42
00:02:10,029 --> 00:02:13,600
Okay, that's enough.
You're grounded! No back talk.
43
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:17,270
Are we done? I gotta get
to work at the band office.
44
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:18,204
I packed your lunch
and coffee's on the counter.
45
00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:21,407
(kissing)
46
00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:24,110
Don't worry, babe.
He's only 18 months, okay?
47
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:27,914
Most babies don't even start
spinning until pre-school.
48
00:02:28,014 --> 00:02:31,484
I just don't get it.
We worked so hard.
49
00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:33,253
Give him time.
50
00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,955
You were in diapers
until you were nine.
51
00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:37,390
Does anybody want
anything else to eat
52
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:38,625
before I clean the kitchen?
53
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:40,627
Shut up, Stephen Harper.
54
00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:44,564
If my baby didn't
have your weird DNA,
55
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:47,834
we'd be making fat
stacks in Ibiza right now.
56
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,235
♪
57
00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:53,806
♪ That campfire is a whore ♪
58
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:58,845
♪ And it hurt so bad ♪
59
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,584
So, who wants to
hear that song again?
60
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:08,321
Rose:
Three times is probably enough.
61
00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:10,523
Maybe we should
start the meeting?
62
00:03:10,623 --> 00:03:13,960
(groaning)
Buzzkill.
63
00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:16,429
Fine, you win,
64
00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:19,632
but you know why
they call a band office
65
00:03:19,732 --> 00:03:21,834
a band office?
66
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:24,837
Because we're all like a band.
67
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:28,675
Lips, rhythm guitar.
68
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:30,310
Me? Lead everything.
69
00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:32,545
And Rose.
70
00:03:32,645 --> 00:03:34,380
(phone ringing)
71
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,482
Oh, that sounds like
a job for the roadie.
72
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:38,551
Hey, this roadie isn't
a receptionist anymore,
73
00:03:38,651 --> 00:03:41,521
this roadie is
an elected councillor.
74
00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:43,489
Don't look at me,
I'm rhythm guitar.
75
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:46,659
It's bad optics if
the lead singer gets it.
76
00:03:46,759 --> 00:03:48,861
Well, can we just hire
a new receptionist?
77
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:51,397
It's Gripin' Season
and everyone has a complaint.
78
00:03:51,497 --> 00:03:54,534
But a roadie does
a little bit of everything.
79
00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:57,470
Drives the bus, carry gear,
80
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,739
make sure there's no uglies
sitting in the front row.
81
00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:01,741
I can actually play
a mean slide-whistle.
82
00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:03,309
Look at that, problem solved.
83
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:07,547
Let's hear that song
one more time.
84
00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:10,316
Hey, Rose, since you're roadie,
can you grab me a soda?
85
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,585
Oh, fuck off.
86
00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:16,889
♪
87
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:19,092
So, then I said to user 7845,
88
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:21,728
"I'm making finger tapping
noises on a microphone,
89
00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:23,796
so how is that woke?"
90
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,566
Are you listening?
91
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:29,035
Uh, yeah, totally.
92
00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:29,702
Woke tapping.
93
00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:34,540
Anyway, I wanted to talk.
94
00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:36,576
Now? I'm kinda busy.
95
00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:37,877
Man:
Yo, Chickadee!
96
00:04:37,977 --> 00:04:40,046
Oh, shit, one sec.
97
00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:42,582
The fuck, I'm on a call,
and you used the wrong door.
98
00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:44,951
That's the door to the lodge,
that's my door,
99
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:45,718
'cause I have
my have own place.
100
00:04:45,818 --> 00:04:48,955
Okay, take it easy slum lord.
101
00:04:49,055 --> 00:04:51,858
(door closing)
102
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,527
Sorry, bad reception.
103
00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:55,361
Maybe we should
pick this up later.
104
00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:58,631
Now's good.
105
00:04:58,731 --> 00:05:00,466
S'that better then?
106
00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:01,301
We brought fries, bro.
They're so sturdy.
107
00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:03,569
I thought you were alone?
108
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:08,041
Sorry. Bad Wi-Fi.
109
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,809
Chickadee, you're frozen.
110
00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:12,745
Chickadee? I really
wanted to talk to you.
111
00:05:14,547 --> 00:05:16,149
Is that Tavis and Sophia?
112
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:19,919
Damn Wi-Fi.
113
00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:23,156
Alright, gimme the fries.
114
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,661
We told you, man.
We don't work until we're paid.
115
00:05:28,761 --> 00:05:31,230
And we were promised
five freezies.
116
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,733
You never mess with
a man's freezies.
117
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,568
Listen here, little mans.
118
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:36,502
I told you, you get paid
when the job's done,
119
00:05:36,602 --> 00:05:39,339
and last I checked,
job's not done.
120
00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:42,775
Bro, are you ready?
121
00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:44,110
We gotta get to the airport
and pick up the entertainment
122
00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:44,777
for my ma's birthday party.
123
00:05:44,877 --> 00:05:47,180
Oh, yeah. We got the best
124
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:47,814
Lou Diamond Phillips
impersonator in the biz.
125
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:50,083
Lou Diamond Phillips?
126
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,018
You got your mom a screwdriver?
127
00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:54,354
No, Lou Diamond Phillips,
the actor,
128
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:56,456
and we hired an impersonator to
perform scenes from his movies
129
00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:58,524
for Agnes's birthday.
130
00:05:58,624 --> 00:06:01,627
Yeah, and not only is
Lou Diamond an actor,
131
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:05,932
but he's the gold standard
for Indigenous-ish roles.
132
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,034
He played all the coolest
Indigenous roles.
133
00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:09,969
Yeah. Not like today,
134
00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:12,505
where you wussies have
real Indigenous actors.
135
00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:15,508
Yeah, man.
He was Chavez in Young Guns,
136
00:06:15,608 --> 00:06:18,611
he also played a deadly Inuk
in Shadow of the Wolf,
137
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:21,180
and he was even
Ritchie Valens in La Bamba.
138
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,448
Natives love him,
139
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:25,852
even though he's just
a itty bitty tiny bit Cherokee.
140
00:06:25,952 --> 00:06:27,353
Whatever he was,
he had all of our hearts.
141
00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:31,557
Yeah, white kids had Jesus
up on their wall, but us?
142
00:06:31,657 --> 00:06:35,862
Hm. We had good ol' lucky Lou.
143
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:37,330
(chuckling)
144
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:38,698
Check it out.
145
00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:40,533
That's our guy.
146
00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:42,735
Man, he looked
so cool on a horse.
147
00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:44,170
What the...
148
00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:49,208
Guy, two Mississippis. Come on.
149
00:06:49,308 --> 00:06:52,478
Yeah Man? More like weird guys.
150
00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:59,318
We quit.
151
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,687
Man, dating a girl
over the iPad is sick.
152
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:04,624
I can just, like,
turn her off whenever I want to.
153
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:08,861
Oh, yeah, that's the ticket.
154
00:07:08,961 --> 00:07:10,830
(knocking)
155
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:13,166
Other door!
156
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,034
(game beeping)
157
00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:16,769
I thought you said
you were busy?
158
00:07:16,869 --> 00:07:17,670
(imitating whip crack)
159
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:21,340
Hey, listen,
I see that you're mad,
160
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:24,076
but do you think
you could use the other door?
161
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:26,846
(game beeping)
162
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,581
Oh, man, here he comes.
163
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:30,883
Alright, when he gets out,
play it cool.
164
00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:32,552
Yeah, man, I know.
Two Mississippis.
165
00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:35,688
♪ Bamba, bamba ♪
166
00:07:36,889 --> 00:07:38,958
♪ Bamba, bamba ♪
167
00:07:40,059 --> 00:07:42,228
♪ Bamba, bamba ♪
168
00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:45,565
That's our Lou Diamond Phillips?
169
00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:55,508
(all clamouring)
170
00:07:55,608 --> 00:07:58,211
Everyone, please! Calm down!
171
00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,145
Hey! She stole my gripe.
172
00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:02,515
I was gonna tell
everyone to calm down.
173
00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:04,984
Yeah, Chief and Council sucks!
174
00:08:05,084 --> 00:08:06,552
Deedee?
175
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:09,222
Sorry, I-- I got
caught up in the moment.
176
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,157
You see what I'm dealing with?
177
00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:13,593
(sighing) We need
a new receptionist, asap.
178
00:08:13,693 --> 00:08:16,028
Yeah, well,
you better get on that.
179
00:08:16,128 --> 00:08:18,598
I-- I got to, uh... I gotta go.
180
00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:19,098
(phone ringing,
crowd clamouring)
181
00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:21,067
Seen this before.
182
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:27,006
The Stony Mountain riot of 1988.
183
00:08:27,106 --> 00:08:30,443
This nothing like that, Hilda.
184
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:35,448
I dunno. When a riot brews,
the big dog has to step up.
185
00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:37,517
(phone ringing,
crowd clamouring)
186
00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:39,452
I could be that big dog.
187
00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:41,120
Okay, guy.
188
00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:44,190
I did this job for five years.
189
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:48,961
You think anyone can just
stroll in and do it? Hm?
190
00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:50,796
You know, it's people
like you who think that
191
00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:52,465
anyone can just waltz in here--
192
00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:54,567
Hey, June Bug.
193
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:55,968
If this is a gripe,
get to the back of the line.
194
00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:57,570
Oh, sorry.
195
00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:00,773
Oh, you're good.
196
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,041
No shit.
197
00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:06,078
Paul:
What the fuck?
198
00:09:06,178 --> 00:09:08,915
He's supposed to be a diamond,
not an old lump of coal.
199
00:09:09,015 --> 00:09:10,750
Plus, he looks like
a Crown Royal bag.
200
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:12,285
What are you talking about, bro?
201
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:15,087
Lou Diamond Phillips isn't bald.
202
00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:16,989
So what, man?
203
00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:19,325
Actors transform when
they play characters.
204
00:09:19,425 --> 00:09:20,159
Eddie Murphy didn't look like
a Donkey when he played Shrek.
205
00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:23,663
That was a cartoon, bro.
206
00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:25,631
So what, man? The guy's a pro.
207
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:28,301
The guy is a no.
208
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,236
Hey, Stew.
209
00:09:30,336 --> 00:09:33,472
Professional Lou Diamond
Phillips impersonator.
210
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,942
Diamond Inc.
Yeah, I do all the Diamonds.
211
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:39,912
Lou, Neil, Dustin,
Mike from the Beastie Boys.
212
00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:43,082
Nobody does Diamonds
like Diamond Inc.
213
00:09:43,182 --> 00:09:44,750
It's okay, man.
You already got the job, bro.
214
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,488
(sniffing)
215
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,324
there's a little
doubt on the big one.
216
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:54,260
Just not feeling
that Lou vibe, I guess.
217
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,762
It's called acting,
have you heard of it?
218
00:09:56,862 --> 00:09:58,931
Well, then show me, then.
219
00:09:59,031 --> 00:10:01,601
Nah, ah-ah. You guys got
the Cubic Zirconia package.
220
00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:03,169
That's one photo,
one meet-and-greet,
221
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,871
plus a special Lou Diamond
Phillips
222
00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:07,373
scene for the birthday girl.
223
00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:09,942
Anything extra costs extra.
224
00:10:10,042 --> 00:10:11,444
You fucked us.
225
00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:13,946
This guy's just
a sickly white guy.
226
00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:15,414
Sickly?
227
00:10:15,514 --> 00:10:18,184
(chuckling)
I was talking to him.
228
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:21,821
Alright, boys. Grab my bags
and take me to the venue.
229
00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:23,556
Right after this,
I gotta do a Young Guns 2
230
00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:25,591
for a Kookum in Sapotaweyak.
231
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,328
You get in the middle.
Paul, you get in the back.
232
00:10:29,428 --> 00:10:33,666
Statistically speaking,
that's the safest spot.
233
00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:35,468
(Paul groaning)
234
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,837
Easy, easy.
You break me, you bought me.
235
00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:41,007
So, you got the phone
over there, pretty standard,
236
00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:44,543
and we schedule
everything on this computer.
237
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,746
Sorry, I don't do computers.
238
00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:49,882
Okay, but they're
kinda important.
239
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:51,550
These things are
highly traceable.
240
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,552
I'm not going back
to Stony Mountain.
241
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,087
Stony Mountain's a men's prison.
242
00:10:55,187 --> 00:10:57,490
You calling me a liar, Cellie?
243
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,859
Okay, I have to go
to Agnes' party now.
244
00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:02,028
So, for now,
just write everything down.
245
00:11:02,361 --> 00:11:05,398
In prison we call that a kite.
246
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,333
(water pouring)
247
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,772
Oh, hey, Lips.
You know the rule?
248
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:16,042
Last one who drinks the coffee
has to make a new pot.
249
00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:18,811
No, no, no. That's gen pop.
250
00:11:20,212 --> 00:11:21,347
I'm talking about
first day inside.
251
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:23,883
You gotta fight the wheel.
252
00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:25,217
No wheels here.
253
00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:27,153
We'll see about that.
254
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:31,724
Your place is smaller
255
00:11:31,824 --> 00:11:35,127
and messier than on camera.
256
00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:38,831
Yeah, I was gonna clean all day,
but then these two barged in.
257
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:43,069
Why don't you two
get out of here?
258
00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:45,805
Good, because I wanted to
ask you something serious.
259
00:11:45,905 --> 00:11:47,506
Why don't you two get back here?
260
00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:52,945
Don't you think you
being here is risky?
261
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:54,747
Our families are enemies.
262
00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:56,615
I don't care about that.
263
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,552
That Bittern and Buttern
thing is so dumb.
264
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:01,287
Yeah, so dumb.
265
00:12:03,355 --> 00:12:04,490
Hey, why don't you
grab a controller?
266
00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:06,559
We're playing God of Loitering.
267
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,728
Could we just have a second?
268
00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:10,396
But we're just about to
get kicked out of the mall.
269
00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:12,665
I wanna talk about moving in.
270
00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:14,333
(game beeping)
271
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:17,369
Moving in, hey?
272
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:21,140
Uh, but we gotta move out
for Kookoo's party.
273
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,076
You said that shit's boring.
274
00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:27,413
Yeah, because isn't that
an old people party?
275
00:12:27,513 --> 00:12:30,783
I never said that.
What a stupid lie.
276
00:12:30,883 --> 00:12:32,885
Why would you make up
a stupid lie like that?
277
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,123
Fuck. Filthy liars.
278
00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:38,691
Why don't you two just sit there
279
00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:40,593
and think about
the lie you just told?
280
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,194
(groaning)
I'm so mad.
281
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,264
(game beeping)
282
00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:47,700
Okay, okay.
283
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,102
'Kay. Beat it.
Here comes security.
284
00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:52,371
♪
285
00:12:52,471 --> 00:12:55,307
Bros and bro'settes!
286
00:12:55,407 --> 00:12:57,643
May I have
your attention, please?
287
00:12:57,743 --> 00:12:59,879
We wanted to do
something special for Agnes,
288
00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:03,115
because she's
the best Kookum ever.
289
00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:04,450
Here he is, and he wasn't cheap,
290
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:07,353
Stew Diamond Phillips!
291
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:11,190
(all cheering, clapping)
292
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,993
Who needs a Lou
when you got a Stew?
293
00:13:14,093 --> 00:13:15,661
(laughing)
294
00:13:15,761 --> 00:13:17,897
Okay, there's enough
Stew to go around.
295
00:13:17,997 --> 00:13:20,699
Hey! Back up, back up.
This Diamond's got sharp edges.
296
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,236
Now I'm looking for
a white girl from the Valley.
297
00:13:24,336 --> 00:13:24,904
Anyone see her?
298
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:28,007
Oh, pick me! Daga niin!
299
00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:30,342
I was thinking maybe somebody
more in the diamond section.
300
00:13:30,442 --> 00:13:31,577
(guests gasping)
301
00:13:31,677 --> 00:13:33,312
There's my Valley Girl.
302
00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:34,547
(laughing)
303
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,382
Hello, Lou. I mean, Stew.
304
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,884
Here, these are for you.
305
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,986
Try to follow my lead.
306
00:13:41,086 --> 00:13:42,988
Okay! Take it easy, guy!
307
00:13:43,088 --> 00:13:46,992
(all laughing)
308
00:13:47,092 --> 00:13:49,929
(cheering)
309
00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:52,264
Stew, where are we going?
310
00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:56,101
My dad said to totally stay away
from fast boys like you.
311
00:13:56,202 --> 00:13:57,937
(all laughing)
312
00:13:58,037 --> 00:14:01,707
Just a little place
called Make-Out Point.
313
00:14:01,807 --> 00:14:03,576
Guests: Ooh!
314
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,678
I've totally
heard of that place.
315
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:09,114
Nimaamaa! No! No, no, no!
Don't go to that place!
316
00:14:09,215 --> 00:14:10,616
Your dad was right.
317
00:14:10,716 --> 00:14:12,885
Buddy, get off the road.
Honk, honk!
318
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:14,787
- (gasping)
- (laughing)
319
00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:16,589
- (imitating speeding car)
- (crowd laughing)
320
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,958
(thunder rumbling)
321
00:14:19,058 --> 00:14:21,093
Hey, is now a good time to talk?
322
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,262
Uh, yeah, for sure.
323
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,763
I'm just thirsty as shit
and my mouth is pretty dry.
324
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,298
Oh, I'll get you
something to drink.
325
00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:32,805
Chickadee?
326
00:14:34,673 --> 00:14:37,176
She fuckin' greased me.
327
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:41,146
(thunder rumbling)
328
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:45,985
Like Make Out Point is
totally beautiful or whatever.
329
00:14:46,085 --> 00:14:48,087
Not as beautiful as you.
330
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:52,625
That's why
I wrote you this song.
331
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,994
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
332
00:14:55,094 --> 00:14:58,631
Okay, everybody, give it up
for Stew Diamond Phillips
333
00:14:58,731 --> 00:14:59,598
and his fast hands. Great job!
334
00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:03,903
Ho'leh heck boy!
You're just killing it!
335
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:06,138
You need to relax.
336
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,941
If he's late,
he's gonna charge us double!
337
00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:10,843
No, no.
Stew can make time for this.
338
00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:13,679
(gasping) Yeah, you paid
a lot of money for Stew.
339
00:15:13,779 --> 00:15:16,248
Why don't you let him finish it?
340
00:15:16,348 --> 00:15:17,483
But, Ma, my birthday picture.
341
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:20,085
Uh, how about later?
342
00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:21,487
How about now?
(laughing)
343
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:25,691
As you all know, every year
I paint a picture for my ma
344
00:15:25,791 --> 00:15:29,695
and it's basically the greatest
moment of her entire life.
345
00:15:29,795 --> 00:15:31,997
Sorry, Stew, he does this.
346
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:35,200
Happy birthday, Ma!
(chuckling)
347
00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:40,239
(guests exclaiming)
348
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,044
More Stew, less art.
349
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,115
It's beautiful, Paul.
350
00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:53,018
You're always
going off about Stew,
351
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,454
but what about me?
352
00:15:55,554 --> 00:15:57,556
Hey, Paul'blo Paul'caso,
I'm on the clock here.
353
00:15:57,656 --> 00:16:00,492
You're about to get clocked.
354
00:16:00,592 --> 00:16:02,261
Oh, is that a threat?
355
00:16:03,495 --> 00:16:05,664
(grunting)
356
00:16:05,764 --> 00:16:07,900
(gasping)
357
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,501
Hey! Give that back!
358
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:12,237
Show's over!
359
00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:14,039
Yeah, you heard him.
Show's over.
360
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,241
We haven't done
our meet and greet.
361
00:16:16,342 --> 00:16:18,143
Or the autographs.
362
00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:20,012
I want my intimate photo!
363
00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:22,414
I still get paid
the exact same amount,
364
00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:24,817
plus damages to my necklace.
365
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:27,920
Stew, no planes are
flying in this weather.
366
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,355
Stay the night.
367
00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:31,757
I bet you he would love that.
368
00:16:31,857 --> 00:16:33,425
Yeah. You know, you're right.
369
00:16:33,525 --> 00:16:35,861
It does look
kinda bad out there.
370
00:16:35,961 --> 00:16:37,696
It's okay, bro. I got a plan.
371
00:16:37,796 --> 00:16:41,767
(thunder rumbling)
372
00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:44,770
No, no! You read my contract!
In the event of bad weather,
373
00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:47,072
you have to
provide accommodation.
374
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:47,873
That's crazy!
375
00:16:47,973 --> 00:16:51,276
You have another
party to get to.
376
00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:53,278
Yeah, you want to break
the heart of that Kookoom
377
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:55,381
in Sapotaweyak?
378
00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:58,450
No one does Diamonds
like Diamond Inc, remember?
379
00:16:58,550 --> 00:17:00,386
Well, where's this pilot?
380
00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:03,722
Uh, here he is.
I got him on the Buy and Sell.
381
00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:06,759
This guy can fly planes?
382
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,294
Hey, relax.
It's just an infection.
383
00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:10,596
Yeah. He can see fine.
384
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,532
Well, not really.
385
00:17:13,632 --> 00:17:15,434
I don't know.
386
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,903
Tell you what.
Heads you stay, tails you leave.
387
00:17:18,003 --> 00:17:19,171
Alright.
388
00:17:21,573 --> 00:17:23,375
I think it said tails!
389
00:17:23,475 --> 00:17:25,978
Really? Damn it.
Alright. Let's go then.
390
00:17:28,647 --> 00:17:29,815
This way, bro.
391
00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:35,721
(dog barking)
392
00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:37,589
Oh, shit.
393
00:17:37,689 --> 00:17:38,290
How did you get in here?
394
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:40,259
Through the door.
395
00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,928
Which one?
396
00:17:43,028 --> 00:17:45,531
Would you give it
a rest with that?
397
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:48,233
Alright, I'm sorry.
Have a seat.
398
00:17:53,305 --> 00:17:55,841
I guess, um...
399
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:01,113
I'm just scared
I'm going to let you down.
400
00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:04,283
I like my fuck-around time
and I don't want to fuck up.
401
00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:09,221
I don't want you to change.
I want you to be Chickadee.
402
00:18:09,321 --> 00:18:12,124
You wanna be here with me
even if I'm just me?
403
00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:14,760
Yeah, every day.
404
00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:16,095
You're sure?
405
00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:18,130
Yes, I'm sure.
406
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:21,066
Alright then. Let's celebrate.
407
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:22,401
With lard and bannock.
408
00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:25,003
I'll grab the lard.
409
00:18:27,372 --> 00:18:29,708
Only the deadly ones
do it though.
410
00:18:33,378 --> 00:18:34,513
That's fuckin' good.
411
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:35,981
- Yeah, right?
- Mm-hm.
412
00:18:36,081 --> 00:18:37,583
(crowd clamouring)
413
00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:39,751
One at a time, please!
414
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:42,654
I got a complaint about
the dam behind Elma's house.
415
00:18:42,754 --> 00:18:46,024
The beavers are making it weird.
Giiwishkwe amikwag!
416
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,627
Sorry, Gramps,
didn't mean to overhear you.
417
00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:51,663
Next time you wanna see Rose,
418
00:18:51,763 --> 00:18:54,166
you make sure you
come see me first, hey?
419
00:18:54,266 --> 00:18:56,335
Right, right.
Rose, my apologies.
420
00:18:56,435 --> 00:19:00,606
I will call ahead next time
421
00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:02,274
to make an appointment.
422
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:06,545
Gripin' Season
is officially over.
423
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:07,479
(phone ringing)
424
00:19:07,579 --> 00:19:11,683
Holy shit, Hilda.
425
00:19:11,783 --> 00:19:12,584
I think this might
just work out.
426
00:19:12,684 --> 00:19:16,121
I think you made
the right decision.
427
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:17,890
Just remember, I get paid in
428
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,458
hard boiled eggs
and noodle cups.
429
00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:23,896
♪
430
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,831
(music stopping)
431
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:29,034
We interrupt this song
for some breaking news.
432
00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:31,570
As the bad weather picked up
late into the evening,
433
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:35,574
Stew Diamond Phillips' plane
went down in Bloodvein.
434
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:39,811
Details are sketchy.
435
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:42,714
We'll have more information
as it becomes available.
436
00:19:42,814 --> 00:19:45,551
I don't know what to say.
437
00:19:45,651 --> 00:19:48,654
Heartbreaking news like this
deserves a heartbreaking song.
438
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:54,426
♪
439
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:59,598
Stew!
440
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:02,134
(crying)
441
00:20:04,803 --> 00:20:08,040
Roger: More breaking news about
the breaking news from before.
442
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,442
Stew Diamond Phillips plane
technically did go down
443
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:14,880
in Bloodvein, but only because
it landed there perfectly.
444
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:17,216
My mistake.
445
00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:19,051
I really should read all of
the words in front of me.
446
00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:22,120
So we ran up
a hill for nothing!?
447
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,456
Yeah, man,
but at least Stew didn't die.
448
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:29,228
At least you two aren't
going to jail for murder.
449
00:20:31,363 --> 00:20:35,701
Yeah, but we still
ran up a hill though.
450
00:20:39,938 --> 00:20:41,440
Come on, little buddy!
Hop on the ones and twos.
451
00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:43,342
Show 'em what you got.
Make papa proud.
452
00:20:45,877 --> 00:20:49,314
Uh, hey, babe,
maybe take it easy on him.
453
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:51,650
Nah, he's got this.
454
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,685
Sometimes you
just have to let go.
455
00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:56,021
(sighing)
Yeah. You're right.
456
00:20:56,121 --> 00:20:59,424
We'll just sell all his DJ
equipment on the buy and sell.
457
00:20:59,524 --> 00:21:01,260
Mm.
458
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,795
It was never his dream,
anyway, just yours.
459
00:21:03,895 --> 00:21:06,598
Yeah, fine. We'll just
let him play with his trucks
460
00:21:06,698 --> 00:21:07,132
that he loves so much.
461
00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:09,401
Mm-hm.
462
00:21:18,076 --> 00:21:28,086
♪
463
00:21:31,890 --> 00:21:41,800
♪
50658
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