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It seems every couple of years there's a
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It seems every couple of years there's a
new weight loss trend that sweeps the
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new weight loss trend that sweeps the
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new weight loss trend that sweeps the
nation. Atkins, South Beach, Paleo, and
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nation. Atkins, South Beach, Paleo, and
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nation. Atkins, South Beach, Paleo, and
of course taking Ompic while swearing
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of course taking Ompic while swearing
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of course taking Ompic while swearing
that you're not taking Ozeic.
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that you're not taking Ozeic.
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that you're not taking Ozeic.
I've just been walking more straight
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I've just been walking more straight
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I've just been walking more straight
into a needle.
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into a needle.
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into a needle.
But these days, it's not about what
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But these days, it's not about what
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But these days, it's not about what
you're taking out of your diet. It it's
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you're taking out of your diet. It it's
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you're taking out of your diet. It it's
about what you're adding in. The
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about what you're adding in. The
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about what you're adding in. The
American diet that has entered the
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American diet that has entered the
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American diet that has entered the
protein boom. Just about every food
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protein boom. Just about every food
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protein boom. Just about every food
product has added protein. From pancakes
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product has added protein. From pancakes
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product has added protein. From pancakes
to popcorn, from crackers to pasta,
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to popcorn, from crackers to pasta,
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to popcorn, from crackers to pasta,
>> Pop-Tarts and Doritos bulking up with
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>> Pop-Tarts and Doritos bulking up with
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>> Pop-Tarts and Doritos bulking up with
added protein.
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added protein.
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added protein.
>> Move over Crack. There's a new epidemic
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>> Move over Crack. There's a new epidemic
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>> Move over Crack. There's a new epidemic
in town. Do you people really think you
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in town. Do you people really think you
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in town. Do you people really think you
can get healthy by eating protein
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can get healthy by eating protein
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can get healthy by eating protein
Doritos?
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Doritos?
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Doritos?
Well, sure they have protein, but
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Well, sure they have protein, but
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Well, sure they have protein, but
they're alsoing Doritos.
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they're alsoing Doritos.
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they're alsoing Doritos.
How much more unhealthy can you get?
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How much more unhealthy can you get?
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How much more unhealthy can you get?
>> It's created opportunity for things like
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>> It's created opportunity for things like
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>> It's created opportunity for things like
this proteinpacked ice cream.
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this proteinpacked ice cream.
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this proteinpacked ice cream.
>> There's companies like us when we're
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>> There's companies like us when we're
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>> There's companies like us when we're
bringing ice cream to the table and
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bringing ice cream to the table and
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bringing ice cream to the table and
people can actually enjoy it.
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people can actually enjoy it.
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people can actually enjoy it.
>> Hear, hear that? We can finally enjoy
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>> Hear, hear that? We can finally enjoy
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>> Hear, hear that? We can finally enjoy
ice cream.
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ice cream.
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ice cream.
I hope orgasms are next.
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I hope orgasms are next.
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I hope orgasms are next.
That's what I love about this country.
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That's what I love about this country.
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That's what I love about this country.
We'll eat something healthy, but only if
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We'll eat something healthy, but only if
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We'll eat something healthy, but only if
we can lick it off a cone. And not only
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we can lick it off a cone. And not only
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we can lick it off a cone. And not only
can you eat your protein while watching
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can you eat your protein while watching
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can you eat your protein while watching
Project Runway with your girlies, you
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Project Runway with your girlies, you
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Project Runway with your girlies, you
can also sip it on your morning commute.
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can also sip it on your morning commute.
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can also sip it on your morning commute.
>> Starbucks entering the protein wars. The
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>> Starbucks entering the protein wars. The
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>> Starbucks entering the protein wars. The
coffee giant is trying out a new protein
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coffee giant is trying out a new protein
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coffee giant is trying out a new protein
cold foam. You can get up to 36 gram of
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cold foam. You can get up to 36 gram of
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cold foam. You can get up to 36 gram of
protein in a grande. The new menu
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protein in a grande. The new menu
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protein in a grande. The new menu
features flavors like banana, vanilla,
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features flavors like banana, vanilla,
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features flavors like banana, vanilla,
pumpkin, and pecan.
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pumpkin, and pecan.
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pumpkin, and pecan.
>> Oh, goody. Proteinpacked pumpkin spice
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>> Oh, goody. Proteinpacked pumpkin spice
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>> Oh, goody. Proteinpacked pumpkin spice
cold foam. My wish has been granted.
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cold foam. My wish has been granted.
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cold foam. My wish has been granted.
I was starting to think that shirtless
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I was starting to think that shirtless
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I was starting to think that shirtless
man in my apartment wasn't a genie.
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man in my apartment wasn't a genie.
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man in my apartment wasn't a genie.
We might as well stop eating real food
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We might as well stop eating real food
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We might as well stop eating real food
altogether because some of these protein
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altogether because some of these protein
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altogether because some of these protein
products seem fake anyway.
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products seem fake anyway.
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products seem fake anyway.
>> Game time can happen anytime.
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>> You're out of milk.
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>> You're out of milk.
>> So when sports call, be ready with high
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>> So when sports call, be ready with high
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>> So when sports call, be ready with high
protein and 22 vitamins and minerals
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protein and 22 vitamins and minerals
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protein and 22 vitamins and minerals
with the great taste of vector. Be ready
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with the great taste of vector. Be ready
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with the great taste of vector. Be ready
for sports.
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for sports.
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for sports.
you.
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you.
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you.
I'm always ready for sports.
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I'm always ready for sports.
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I'm always ready for sports.
I'm wearing a jock strap right now.
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I'm wearing a jock strap right now.
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I'm wearing a jock strap right now.
Otherwise, I'd be tucking my balls into
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Otherwise, I'd be tucking my balls into
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Otherwise, I'd be tucking my balls into
my sock.
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my sock.
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my sock.
Seriously, what the is Vector? Cereal's
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Seriously, what the is Vector? Cereal's
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Seriously, what the is Vector? Cereal's
supposed to have cute names like tricks
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00:03:00,470 --> 00:03:00,480
supposed to have cute names like tricks
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supposed to have cute names like tricks
and Cookie Crisp, not Vector. Vector
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00:03:04,229 --> 00:03:04,239
and Cookie Crisp, not Vector. Vector
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00:03:04,239 --> 00:03:07,350
and Cookie Crisp, not Vector. Vector
sounds like a CIA program to kill Putin
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sounds like a CIA program to kill Putin
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sounds like a CIA program to kill Putin
with a poison dildo.
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with a poison dildo.
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with a poison dildo.
Now, as you can probably guess, this
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Now, as you can probably guess, this
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Now, as you can probably guess, this
protein craze is being driven by
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protein craze is being driven by
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protein craze is being driven by
everyone's favorite parasites, social
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everyone's favorite parasites, social
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everyone's favorite parasites, social
media influencers.
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media influencers.
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media influencers.
>> Oh my god, I found a high protein dinner
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>> Oh my god, I found a high protein dinner
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>> Oh my god, I found a high protein dinner
that's under 500 calories, 60 g of
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that's under 500 calories, 60 g of
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that's under 500 calories, 60 g of
protein.
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protein.
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protein.
>> If you want to be jacked, you need to
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>> If you want to be jacked, you need to
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>> If you want to be jacked, you need to
make these high protein burritos. This
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make these high protein burritos. This
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make these high protein burritos. This
is the fastest way to get over 100 grams
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is the fastest way to get over 100 grams
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is the fastest way to get over 100 grams
of protein in one meal.
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of protein in one meal.
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of protein in one meal.
>> The fastest way to get protein? Why is
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>> The fastest way to get protein? Why is
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>> The fastest way to get protein? Why is
time an issue?
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time an issue?
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time an issue?
You're shirtless in your apartment
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You're shirtless in your apartment
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You're shirtless in your apartment
drinking a gallon of milk. It doesn't
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drinking a gallon of milk. It doesn't
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drinking a gallon of milk. It doesn't
seem like you have to be anywhere.
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I mean, how many hours a day can you
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I mean, how many hours a day can you
spend waxing your chest? I knock it out
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spend waxing your chest? I knock it out
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spend waxing your chest? I knock it out
in 45 minutes. I'm smooth as a dolphin
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in 45 minutes. I'm smooth as a dolphin
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in 45 minutes. I'm smooth as a dolphin
under here.
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under here.
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under here.
But of course, every diet fad has a
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But of course, every diet fad has a
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But of course, every diet fad has a
catch.
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catch.
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catch.
>> Can you eat too much protein?
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>> Can you eat too much protein?
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>> Can you eat too much protein?
>> Oh, 100%. Whips.
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>> Oh, 100%. Whips.
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>> Oh, 100%. Whips.
>> Then then what happens?
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>> Then then what happens?
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>> Then then what happens?
>> So, it can be like a real stress on your
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>> So, it can be like a real stress on your
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>> So, it can be like a real stress on your
kidneys. You can have a risk for
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kidneys. You can have a risk for
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kidneys. You can have a risk for
cardiovascular disease. you can actually
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cardiovascular disease. you can actually
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cardiovascular disease. you can actually
have higher cholesterol. It really is
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have higher cholesterol. It really is
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have higher cholesterol. It really is
not fantastic when you go above what
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not fantastic when you go above what
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not fantastic when you go above what
your body needs.
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your body needs.
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your body needs.
>> The thing that I worry about the most
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>> The thing that I worry about the most
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>> The thing that I worry about the most
with too much protein is it can put
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with too much protein is it can put
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with too much protein is it can put
stress on the liver and the kidneys and
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stress on the liver and the kidneys and
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stress on the liver and the kidneys and
cause digestive issues.
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cause digestive issues.
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cause digestive issues.
>> Wait, what? Eating seven T-bone steaks a
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>> Wait, what? Eating seven T-bone steaks a
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>> Wait, what? Eating seven T-bone steaks a
day might cause digestive issues.
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day might cause digestive issues.
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day might cause digestive issues.
So that's why I haven't in five
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So that's why I haven't in five
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So that's why I haven't in five
years.
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years.
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years.
Apparently, protein gives you liver the
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Apparently, protein gives you liver the
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Apparently, protein gives you liver the
all the liver damage of drinking with
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all the liver damage of drinking with
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all the liver damage of drinking with
none of the therapeutic shower crying.
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none of the therapeutic shower crying.
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none of the therapeutic shower crying.
That would have worked if I got it out
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That would have worked if I got it out
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That would have worked if I got it out
of my mouth.
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but it turns out the protein craze isn't
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but it turns out the protein craze isn't
just for divorced dads. It's fun for the
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00:05:14,150 --> 00:05:14,160
just for divorced dads. It's fun for the
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just for divorced dads. It's fun for the
whole broken family. This toddler's
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whole broken family. This toddler's
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whole broken family. This toddler's
chomping down on a tomahawk steak.
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chomping down on a tomahawk steak.
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chomping down on a tomahawk steak.
Across social media, parents are proudly
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Across social media, parents are proudly
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Across social media, parents are proudly
showing off their so-called carnivore
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00:05:23,749 --> 00:05:23,759
showing off their so-called carnivore
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00:05:23,759 --> 00:05:26,150
showing off their so-called carnivore
babies. Infants and toddlers who eat a
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00:05:26,150 --> 00:05:26,160
babies. Infants and toddlers who eat a
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babies. Infants and toddlers who eat a
primarily animal-based, proteinrich diet
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primarily animal-based, proteinrich diet
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primarily animal-based, proteinrich diet
clear of processed foods.
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clear of processed foods.
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clear of processed foods.
>> We want like fatty red meat. Um, lots of
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>> We want like fatty red meat. Um, lots of
234
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:35,590
>> We want like fatty red meat. Um, lots of
butter. Uh, the kids will just come up
235
00:05:35,590 --> 00:05:35,600
butter. Uh, the kids will just come up
236
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,430
butter. Uh, the kids will just come up
and eat like chunks of butter.
237
00:05:37,430 --> 00:05:37,440
and eat like chunks of butter.
238
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,350
and eat like chunks of butter.
>> How's it going with Rory? She seems to
239
00:05:39,350 --> 00:05:39,360
>> How's it going with Rory? She seems to
240
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:40,629
>> How's it going with Rory? She seems to
be loving that steak.
241
00:05:40,629 --> 00:05:40,639
be loving that steak.
242
00:05:40,639 --> 00:05:42,230
be loving that steak.
>> Oh, yeah. She doesn't have any teeth
243
00:05:42,230 --> 00:05:42,240
>> Oh, yeah. She doesn't have any teeth
244
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:43,749
>> Oh, yeah. She doesn't have any teeth
yet, but she loves to chew on things.
245
00:05:43,749 --> 00:05:43,759
yet, but she loves to chew on things.
246
00:05:43,759 --> 00:05:45,749
yet, but she loves to chew on things.
Yeah, she just kind of gums the meat and
247
00:05:45,749 --> 00:05:45,759
Yeah, she just kind of gums the meat and
248
00:05:45,759 --> 00:05:48,150
Yeah, she just kind of gums the meat and
sucks all the nutrients out.
249
00:05:48,150 --> 00:05:48,160
sucks all the nutrients out.
250
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:52,070
sucks all the nutrients out.
>> Ah, what a great idea. Giving babies
251
00:05:52,070 --> 00:05:52,080
>> Ah, what a great idea. Giving babies
252
00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,710
>> Ah, what a great idea. Giving babies
animal protein. You know what else
253
00:05:54,710 --> 00:05:54,720
animal protein. You know what else
254
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,350
animal protein. You know what else
babies like that has a lot of animal
255
00:05:57,350 --> 00:05:57,360
babies like that has a lot of animal
256
00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:03,990
babies like that has a lot of animal
protein? Milk, you idiots.
257
00:06:06,150 --> 00:06:06,160
I
258
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,950
I
I tell these parents to go to hell, but
259
00:06:08,950 --> 00:06:08,960
I tell these parents to go to hell, but
260
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:11,189
I tell these parents to go to hell, but
they're already there changing their
261
00:06:11,189 --> 00:06:11,199
they're already there changing their
262
00:06:11,199 --> 00:06:14,790
they're already there changing their
babies beef tartar diapers.
263
00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:14,800
babies beef tartar diapers.
264
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,029
babies beef tartar diapers.
But if people can't stop stuffing
265
00:06:17,029 --> 00:06:17,039
But if people can't stop stuffing
266
00:06:17,039 --> 00:06:20,070
But if people can't stop stuffing
protein in one hole, that means there's
267
00:06:20,070 --> 00:06:20,080
protein in one hole, that means there's
268
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,790
protein in one hole, that means there's
money to be made by stuffing it into the
269
00:06:22,790 --> 00:06:22,800
money to be made by stuffing it into the
270
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,870
money to be made by stuffing it into the
other. So that's why I'm introducing new
271
00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:26,880
other. So that's why I'm introducing new
272
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:32,870
other. So that's why I'm introducing new
Lewis Black Protein Animo.
273
00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:38,240
Now, now in cool ranch flavor.
274
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,560
Now, now in cool ranch flavor.
Stick it up your ass.
275
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:40,570
Stick it up your ass.
276
00:06:40,570 --> 00:06:48,439
Stick it up your ass.
[Music]
25133
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