Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,090 --> 00:00:04,960
It's called "eSports,"
and it's real.
2
00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:07,160
Professional video gamers
going head-to-head
3
00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:09,490
as a stadium full of people
watch.
4
00:00:09,490 --> 00:00:11,090
Oh, and here he comes,
5
00:00:11,100 --> 00:00:13,230
the defending "Voyage Quest"
champion...
6
00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:15,100
BoneDevil666.
7
00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:17,030
Let's see if we can get a word.
Mr. Devil! Mr. Devil!
8
00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:18,640
Can I get two words from you?
9
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:21,040
Uh, sure. Yes.
10
00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:23,770
A win for you today
would bring your team
11
00:00:23,780 --> 00:00:25,640
one step closer
to the world championships
12
00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:27,040
in Pyongyang.
13
00:00:27,050 --> 00:00:28,510
Are you feeling the pressure?
14
00:00:28,510 --> 00:00:30,780
The Big Bone dominates
"Voyage Quest."
15
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:32,650
That's an undisputed fact.
16
00:00:32,650 --> 00:00:34,180
And anyone who gets in his way
17
00:00:34,190 --> 00:00:35,790
is gonna be looking
at the business end
18
00:00:35,790 --> 00:00:37,920
of a Complainium Broadsword.
19
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:39,190
No more questions.
What?
20
00:00:39,190 --> 00:00:41,260
Hey, hey, hey.
Can I get your autograph?
21
00:00:41,260 --> 00:00:42,260
Oh, yeah, sure.
22
00:00:42,260 --> 00:00:44,130
Who should I, uh,
make it out to?
23
00:00:44,130 --> 00:00:45,400
Oh, my God!
24
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:49,070
BoneDevil666 has just been
ruthlessly attacked!
25
00:00:49,070 --> 00:00:51,600
Why? Why? Why? Why?
26
00:00:55,870 --> 00:01:00,010
BoneDevil666
is the nom de guerre
27
00:01:00,010 --> 00:01:03,350
of 22-year-old
professional gamer Paul Boneson.
28
00:01:04,550 --> 00:01:06,420
Sorry, Murphy.
Above your pay grade.
29
00:01:06,420 --> 00:01:08,420
Come on, Hoffman!
30
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:13,020
Boneson plays a game called
"Voyage Quest"
31
00:01:13,030 --> 00:01:15,230
for a professional gaming team
known as SharkSpark.
32
00:01:15,230 --> 00:01:17,090
The attack,
which you're seeing now,
33
00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:18,500
has taken his fingers
out of the running
34
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:19,630
for the world championships.
35
00:01:19,630 --> 00:01:21,630
Sir, I thought
we were taking cases
36
00:01:21,630 --> 00:01:23,570
outside of law enforcement,
37
00:01:23,570 --> 00:01:27,100
like international espionage
and haunted trains?
38
00:01:27,110 --> 00:01:28,640
Damn it, Mom.
Your unique brand of skepticism
39
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,240
is gonna tear this team apart!
40
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:33,380
Fortunately, I anticipated
Tribeca's rock-hard cynicism.
41
00:01:33,380 --> 00:01:35,250
Therefore, this briefing
will be given
42
00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:38,050
by the director of the Special
Division Force himself...
43
00:01:38,050 --> 00:01:40,850
Vice President Joe Perry.
44
00:01:45,190 --> 00:01:47,260
BoneDevil666
is the nom de guerre
45
00:01:47,260 --> 00:01:48,790
of a 22-year-old gamer
named Paul...
46
00:01:48,790 --> 00:01:50,060
Sorry, Joe.
I-I covered that.
47
00:01:50,060 --> 00:01:51,790
You were further down the road
than I thought.
48
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,730
Did Tribeca show her
unique brand of skepticism?
49
00:01:53,730 --> 00:01:55,000
That's exactly where we are.
50
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,930
The video gaming industry
51
00:01:56,940 --> 00:01:58,540
brings more money
into the U.S. economy
52
00:01:58,540 --> 00:02:01,200
than missiles, oil,
and coffee-cup sleeves combined.
53
00:02:01,210 --> 00:02:04,610
If a foreign entity wants
to disrupt that industry,
54
00:02:04,610 --> 00:02:05,740
we wanna know about it,
55
00:02:05,740 --> 00:02:07,680
and ideally, we wanna stop it.
56
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,810
You know what I just
heard you say?
57
00:02:09,810 --> 00:02:12,010
"I'm sending you to prison
for 20 years."
58
00:02:12,020 --> 00:02:13,680
Oh, my God.
Are you still on that?
59
00:02:13,690 --> 00:02:15,350
It's been like 20 years.
60
00:02:15,350 --> 00:02:17,150
You locked me up
and threw away the key!
61
00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:19,290
I didn't know
that was the only copy!
62
00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:22,630
Look, Tribeca,
that was a different time.
63
00:02:22,630 --> 00:02:24,900
Back then, putting people
in jail was all the rage,
64
00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:27,360
and I guess I just jumped
on the bandwagon.
65
00:02:27,370 --> 00:02:29,430
All I care about is
the safety of this nation.
66
00:02:29,430 --> 00:02:31,230
That's why I brought you
on board,
67
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,900
because I knew
I could count on you.
68
00:02:33,910 --> 00:02:36,440
So, can I...
count on you...
69
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:39,440
to care... about the safety...
of our nation?
70
00:02:42,850 --> 00:02:44,380
Yes, sir.
71
00:02:44,380 --> 00:02:45,920
All right, then.
72
00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:48,790
BoneDevil666 is recovering
in a hospital bed
73
00:02:48,790 --> 00:02:50,450
in Little Rock, Arkansas.
74
00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:52,790
It's the gaming capital
of the United States.
75
00:02:52,790 --> 00:02:54,260
Find out who attacked him
and why.
76
00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:56,260
And even though
everything you're doing
77
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:58,860
will be perfectly legal,
don't tell anyone anything,
78
00:02:58,860 --> 00:03:00,600
unless you follow up with,
"Just kidding."
79
00:03:09,270 --> 00:03:11,340
So, you didn't get a look
at the guy who attacked you?
80
00:03:11,340 --> 00:03:13,940
I just remember
he was wearing a ski mask.
81
00:03:13,950 --> 00:03:16,150
Lose the attitude,
you little prick.
82
00:03:16,150 --> 00:03:17,950
Now, it's gonna be painful,
83
00:03:17,950 --> 00:03:19,550
but I wanna get
your fingers moving.
84
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:27,620
I can't do it.
85
00:03:27,630 --> 00:03:30,030
Who are these people?
What are they doing here?
86
00:03:30,030 --> 00:03:31,230
We're trying to get
to the bottom
87
00:03:31,230 --> 00:03:32,700
of who attacked
Mr. Boneson.
88
00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:34,830
A better question might be,
"Who are you?"
89
00:03:34,830 --> 00:03:36,570
And an even better question
might be,
90
00:03:36,570 --> 00:03:39,170
"If prostitution is the oldest
profession in the world,
91
00:03:39,170 --> 00:03:41,700
who earned the money to pay
for the first prostitute?"
92
00:03:41,710 --> 00:03:44,240
I'm Becky Bunnker,
and it's obvious what happened.
93
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:47,980
Someone, who probably doesn't
stand for the national anthem,
94
00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:49,850
didn't want him
to become world champion.
95
00:03:49,850 --> 00:03:52,250
Yeah, well, it doesn't seem
like Mr. Jelly Fingers over here
96
00:03:52,250 --> 00:03:54,250
even cares about
the world championships.
97
00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:57,190
You couldn't be more wrong.
"Voyage Quest" is his life.
98
00:03:57,190 --> 00:03:59,190
I don't know who told you
otherwise.
99
00:03:59,190 --> 00:04:01,920
Actually, Beck, I'm just done
with this whole thing.
100
00:04:01,930 --> 00:04:03,530
I think I'm just gonna get a job
101
00:04:03,530 --> 00:04:05,400
teaching animals
to play video games.
102
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,000
You don't know what
you're saying, BoneDevil.
103
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,400
We had plans, right?
104
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,070
We were gonna buy
that Fuddruckers
105
00:04:10,070 --> 00:04:12,470
with your winnings.
106
00:04:12,470 --> 00:04:15,210
Tribeca.
107
00:04:15,210 --> 00:04:16,870
Right away, sir.
108
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,210
This just in...
109
00:04:18,210 --> 00:04:20,340
The attacker turned himself in
to Little Rock PD.
110
00:04:20,350 --> 00:04:21,740
He's at the station now.
111
00:04:21,750 --> 00:04:23,150
Well, don't you think
we should have a word with him
112
00:04:23,150 --> 00:04:24,680
before somebody else does?
113
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,290
How much longer
do I have to wait here?
114
00:04:33,290 --> 00:04:35,430
I'm trying to confess
to a crime!
115
00:04:35,430 --> 00:04:37,430
Take a number.
116
00:04:37,430 --> 00:04:40,630
- Yo, pastrami, please.
- Coming up.
117
00:05:00,990 --> 00:05:02,790
I want answers.
118
00:05:02,790 --> 00:05:04,850
And I want 'em now!
119
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,000
Just do it.
120
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,200
Just get it over with.
121
00:05:20,210 --> 00:05:22,010
We just wanna know
what happened.
122
00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:23,670
They're gonna come
after me, man.
123
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:26,410
They're gonna kill you because
of what you did to Paul Boneson?
124
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:27,480
Yes!
125
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,010
To keep me quiet!
126
00:05:29,010 --> 00:05:30,010
Do you know them?
127
00:05:30,020 --> 00:05:31,480
It's my team.
128
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,620
It's SharkSpark.
They're me. I'm them.
129
00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:36,820
Why would SharkSpark wanna go
after its own players?
130
00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:40,220
It's all about coins, man.
All they want is coins.
131
00:05:40,230 --> 00:05:42,560
"They"?
The company?
132
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:44,690
It's the company working
with the gamers,
133
00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:47,360
working with the Mafia,
working with the CIA,
134
00:05:47,370 --> 00:05:50,230
working with a temp agency.
135
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:52,040
This is a riddle
wrapped in a sudoku
136
00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:54,370
tied up with a crossword
suspended over the jumble.
137
00:05:54,370 --> 00:05:57,840
And they're gonna come after me.
I'm a dead man.
138
00:05:57,840 --> 00:05:59,980
Look, we're gonna keep you safe.
139
00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:01,580
You can't keep me safe
from them.
140
00:06:01,580 --> 00:06:03,910
We're supposed to try.
141
00:06:08,390 --> 00:06:09,450
Why don't we take him
to a motel,
142
00:06:09,460 --> 00:06:11,320
sit with him till he calms down?
143
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,590
You sure?
144
00:06:12,590 --> 00:06:14,520
W-We don't even really know
what's going on.
145
00:06:14,530 --> 00:06:17,590
Well, you said it yourself,
it's a stupid case.
146
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:23,200
You have nothing to worry about.
147
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,670
I won't let you out of my sight.
148
00:06:27,870 --> 00:06:29,540
I'm gonna run in for some beer
real quick.
149
00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:31,010
You want anything?
150
00:06:31,010 --> 00:06:32,080
Could you please hurry?!
151
00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,080
Yeah, totally.
I'll be right back.
152
00:06:48,890 --> 00:06:50,290
Should I get this ski mask?
153
00:06:50,300 --> 00:06:52,230
Ah, you know what?
154
00:06:52,230 --> 00:06:54,830
I'm never gonna use this.
155
00:07:03,580 --> 00:07:05,840
Crazy sale on knives, dude!
You want one?!
156
00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:06,780
Aaah!
157
00:07:06,780 --> 00:07:08,510
I'm getting you one.
158
00:07:16,390 --> 00:07:18,920
Yo! They're doing
free tank rides!
159
00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:20,860
You gotta try it!
Aaaah!
160
00:07:20,860 --> 00:07:22,260
Shit. Right.
The beer.
161
00:07:27,870 --> 00:07:30,200
Oh.
162
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,870
Finally.
163
00:07:31,870 --> 00:07:33,370
Can we get out of here?
164
00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:40,740
All right!
165
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:44,150
Here we go!
166
00:07:49,090 --> 00:07:52,490
Ah, no need, dude.
Beer's on me.
167
00:07:56,030 --> 00:07:58,760
You're a Fudgsicle.
168
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,570
You're a Creamsicle.
You're a Bomb Pop.
169
00:08:01,570 --> 00:08:03,830
You're lactose intolerant.
170
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:06,240
Hey! Hey!
171
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:10,340
A man died here!
Have a little respect!
172
00:08:14,050 --> 00:08:15,680
I want answers!
173
00:08:18,050 --> 00:08:19,480
I found something.
174
00:08:20,390 --> 00:08:21,790
What the hell is that?
175
00:08:21,790 --> 00:08:23,390
It's like a dollar, but not.
176
00:08:23,390 --> 00:08:24,920
No, no, no.
It's got too many colors.
177
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,120
It's a Euro.
178
00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:28,320
Maybe fake money
from a board game?
179
00:08:28,330 --> 00:08:30,460
Look at this seam of silver
going through it.
180
00:08:30,460 --> 00:08:33,530
It's a Euro.
It's money they use in Europe.
181
00:08:33,530 --> 00:08:35,600
Whatever it is,
it scares the hell out of me.
182
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,670
I can slip this to a contact
I have at the Mint,
183
00:08:37,670 --> 00:08:40,400
off the record.
So, we have a kid carrying
184
00:08:40,410 --> 00:08:43,010
some kind of spooky money
in his pocket...
185
00:08:43,010 --> 00:08:44,340
A Euro.
186
00:08:44,340 --> 00:08:47,010
Someone needs to go undercover
with this...
187
00:08:47,010 --> 00:08:48,740
SharkSpark Gaming team.
188
00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:49,880
I'll do it.
189
00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:51,820
Mom, you've never played
a video game in your life.
190
00:08:51,820 --> 00:08:53,880
I played Simon.
That's not a video game!
191
00:08:53,890 --> 00:08:56,220
It had a battery.
No, it needs to be me.
192
00:08:56,220 --> 00:08:57,550
Right, the one good thing
193
00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:59,220
about being abandoned
at the age of two
194
00:08:59,220 --> 00:09:01,020
is that every foster home
I was placed in
195
00:09:01,030 --> 00:09:02,890
had a different
video game system.
196
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,230
A.J.'s our man.
197
00:09:04,230 --> 00:09:06,500
No. No, no, no.
It's too dangerous.
198
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:07,830
I must've missed the meeting
where you decide
199
00:09:07,830 --> 00:09:09,630
which missions I go on
and which I don't!
200
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:11,640
It was on the calendar. I am
not saying this as your mother.
201
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:14,640
I am saying this as somebody
who has 30 years of experience!
202
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,710
20 of which were behind bars,
so... Aah!
203
00:09:16,710 --> 00:09:18,310
You listen to me,
you little punk...
204
00:09:18,310 --> 00:09:20,910
Hey! Break it up!
You stay out of this!
205
00:09:20,910 --> 00:09:23,780
Hey!
Hands off the big man!
206
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:26,780
Everybody's picking on Tribeca,
and I don't like it!
207
00:09:26,790 --> 00:09:28,250
Break it up!
208
00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:29,990
Where's A.J.?
209
00:09:34,590 --> 00:09:35,790
What do you want, idiot?
210
00:09:35,790 --> 00:09:37,460
Heard you're down
a couple gamers.
211
00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:39,260
Thanks, Google News Alert.
212
00:09:39,260 --> 00:09:40,660
What else you got for me?
213
00:09:40,670 --> 00:09:43,530
Well, just so happens
I'm looking for a new team.
214
00:09:43,540 --> 00:09:46,000
Sorry, new phone.
Who dis?
215
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,600
Look, we both know gold coins
are where it's at, bro.
216
00:09:48,610 --> 00:09:50,940
Just so happens,
I just took second place
217
00:09:50,940 --> 00:09:53,210
at the Slovenian
"Voyage Quest" Championships
218
00:09:53,210 --> 00:09:55,080
with over 10 million gold coins.
219
00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:57,610
Slovenia?
That's hardcore.
220
00:09:57,620 --> 00:10:01,220
BaguetteBardot1-800-555-1212
won that, didn't she?
221
00:10:01,220 --> 00:10:03,350
You don't beat BaguetteBardot.
222
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:06,620
Not on her worst day.
Come on in.
223
00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:15,230
Have a seat, grab a headset.
224
00:10:15,230 --> 00:10:16,970
You can show us what you got.
225
00:10:18,900 --> 00:10:20,370
Oh.
226
00:10:21,910 --> 00:10:24,310
You want a little something
to get your engine running
227
00:10:24,310 --> 00:10:26,110
before I check you out?
228
00:10:26,110 --> 00:10:27,310
Uh...
229
00:10:27,310 --> 00:10:29,710
I don't recognize that brand.
230
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:32,720
That's 'cause it's illegal,
bitch.
231
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:35,520
It's strawberry lemonade mixed
with horse adrenalin.
232
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:36,720
They used to give it
to the NASA monkeys
233
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,390
to keep them awake in space.
234
00:10:38,390 --> 00:10:40,120
Well, sure, I'll try it.
235
00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:55,740
Whoo!
236
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,150
Okay, so, all you gotta do
is craft a spear,
237
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:13,160
kill a Lesser Nerblet,
and raid his hut for the coins.
238
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:14,960
That sounds easy!
239
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,630
Yeah. Right.
240
00:11:17,630 --> 00:11:18,960
Huh? Huh?
241
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,160
Now do it.
242
00:11:20,170 --> 00:11:22,200
Well, why stop there?
243
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:25,900
Tie my hands.
244
00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:30,640
And... go.
245
00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:35,180
My hut! My coins!
246
00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:38,510
Done!
247
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,980
You can have Ozzy's room.
248
00:11:45,260 --> 00:11:47,060
Whoo.
249
00:11:56,570 --> 00:11:58,300
We haven't seen Ozzy
for a couple days,
250
00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,900
so I guess all this stuff
is yours now.
251
00:11:59,910 --> 00:12:01,370
Hey, man, is that the bathroom?
252
00:12:01,370 --> 00:12:02,970
'Cause this horse adrenaline
is going right through me.
253
00:12:02,970 --> 00:12:04,310
Yeah, don't freak out
254
00:12:04,310 --> 00:12:06,780
if you fill up
the whole bowl, okay?
255
00:12:06,780 --> 00:12:08,380
Welcome to SharkSpark.
256
00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:15,650
Hello?
257
00:12:19,190 --> 00:12:20,920
You got a bad washer in here.
258
00:12:20,930 --> 00:12:22,130
I should have one in my truck.
259
00:12:22,130 --> 00:12:23,630
Okay. Thanks.
260
00:12:29,070 --> 00:12:31,870
So, you're the new number one
around here?
261
00:12:31,870 --> 00:12:33,270
Looks that way.
Hmm.
262
00:12:33,270 --> 00:12:36,540
Being number one comes
with certain... perks.
263
00:12:36,540 --> 00:12:37,740
And what are those?
264
00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:39,210
Full medical, dental,
265
00:12:39,210 --> 00:12:40,680
and optical coverage,
266
00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:43,480
including one pair
of free glasses per year.
267
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,820
Ooh.
Designer brands included?
268
00:12:45,820 --> 00:12:47,080
Oh, yes.
269
00:12:47,090 --> 00:12:49,490
Sounds like I'm gonna be
well taken care of.
270
00:12:49,490 --> 00:12:50,950
Oh, I almost forgot.
271
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,220
You get a free team shirt.
272
00:12:54,890 --> 00:12:56,430
Do I get the team bra?
273
00:12:56,430 --> 00:12:59,160
Let's see how good of a player
you are.
274
00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,170
Oh, my God.
275
00:13:03,170 --> 00:13:04,830
Oh, my God!
276
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:06,500
You're amazing!
277
00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:08,100
You wanna give it a shot?
278
00:13:08,110 --> 00:13:09,710
No, I don't understand
these games.
279
00:13:09,710 --> 00:13:10,970
I just like to watch.
280
00:13:10,980 --> 00:13:12,440
Ooh, grab the coins.
Grab the coins!
281
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:13,840
What is it with you people
and the coins?
282
00:13:13,850 --> 00:13:17,850
That's not how you win!
God, this mattress sucks!
283
00:13:17,850 --> 00:13:18,980
This...
284
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,590
What the hell?
285
00:13:24,590 --> 00:13:25,660
Aah!
286
00:13:27,930 --> 00:13:29,790
Ah!
287
00:13:30,930 --> 00:13:32,330
Please don't kill me!
288
00:13:32,330 --> 00:13:34,000
What is it with you people
and getting killed?!
289
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,330
He's crazy!
He'll stop at nothing!
290
00:13:36,330 --> 00:13:38,070
Who?
You don't understand.
291
00:13:38,070 --> 00:13:39,270
This is so much bigger than...
292
00:13:39,270 --> 00:13:40,600
No, no, no!
Wait, wait, wait.
293
00:13:40,610 --> 00:13:42,740
Don't start that.
Just let me think.
294
00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:45,280
Gold coins.
Everybody wants gold coins.
295
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:49,810
And this kid somehow's got
piles of fake money.
296
00:13:49,820 --> 00:13:51,350
I-It's gotta be connected!
297
00:13:51,350 --> 00:13:52,420
It is connected!
I can tell you...
298
00:13:52,420 --> 00:13:53,680
Would you shut up for a second?
299
00:13:53,690 --> 00:13:56,020
I'm trying to piece this thing
together.
300
00:13:56,020 --> 00:13:58,620
What if it isn't fake money?
301
00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:01,160
Wait, what if it's real money
and the coins are...
302
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:02,430
He's laundering money
through the ga...
303
00:14:02,430 --> 00:14:05,560
Can you just be quiet
for five seconds?!
304
00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:07,900
Okay, so, you got
fake money going in,
305
00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:09,100
real money coming back.
306
00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:11,500
Ooh! It's laundering!
Of course!
307
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:14,170
BoneDevil, he... he doesn't want
to collect coins,
308
00:14:14,170 --> 00:14:16,370
so he's useless,
so Ozzy takes him out,
309
00:14:16,370 --> 00:14:18,510
but Ozzy's got a big mouth,
so they take Ozzy out.
310
00:14:18,510 --> 00:14:21,180
Ozzy's dead?!
Can you just shush?!
311
00:14:21,180 --> 00:14:22,780
You need to protect me!
312
00:14:22,780 --> 00:14:24,450
'Cause if he thinks I talked,
he's...
313
00:14:24,450 --> 00:14:27,050
Look, I am definitely good
at protecting people.
314
00:14:27,050 --> 00:14:28,920
You don't need to worry
about that.
315
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,990
But I need to meet this big guy
who's running everything.
316
00:14:31,990 --> 00:14:33,320
Absolutely not!
No way!
317
00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:36,130
Come on!
There's no way I can finish it.
318
00:14:36,130 --> 00:14:39,400
It's an international
money-laundering scheme.
319
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,330
The money changes hands
through the gold coins
320
00:14:41,330 --> 00:14:42,800
in "Voyage Quest."
321
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,340
Oh, and those weird
paper rectangles we found,
322
00:14:45,340 --> 00:14:47,540
they're called Euros.
323
00:14:47,540 --> 00:14:49,270
This is from my buddy
at the Mint.
324
00:14:49,270 --> 00:14:50,870
They're called Euros.
325
00:14:52,340 --> 00:14:54,140
Oh, and Becky,
who was BoneDevil's girlfriend,
326
00:14:54,150 --> 00:14:55,880
but is now my girlfriend...
I'll get to that in a second...
327
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:57,550
She's gonna arrange a meet-up
with the head
328
00:14:57,550 --> 00:14:59,280
- of the whole operation.
- That's great.
329
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:00,680
We'll go in as a team,
fully armed...
330
00:15:00,690 --> 00:15:03,220
No, no, no, no.
It has to be only me.
331
00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:04,620
No, we...
332
00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:07,360
All right,
just don't let your guard down
333
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,760
because some floozy let you
jiggle her love button.
334
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,960
You can't push someone else's
button in this game.
335
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,160
You can in Simon.
336
00:15:13,170 --> 00:15:14,800
All right, everybody.
Just stop.
337
00:15:16,570 --> 00:15:18,500
All right, A.J.
It's all you.
338
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:19,700
Yeah!
339
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:32,350
Come in, come in.
340
00:15:32,350 --> 00:15:36,090
Pay no attention to...
the rainbow!
341
00:15:37,220 --> 00:15:40,420
So beautiful, don't you think?
342
00:15:40,430 --> 00:15:43,960
Fireball!
343
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,700
Bienvenue, welcome.
344
00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:50,830
My name...
is Pierre Cardin.
345
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:53,770
And I hear that you are
the new Chef des Jeux Vidéos.
346
00:15:53,770 --> 00:15:55,110
Uh, uh, yeah, I guess.
347
00:15:55,110 --> 00:15:56,770
I mean, some people think
I'm pretty good.
348
00:15:58,510 --> 00:15:59,910
"Pretty good"?
349
00:15:59,910 --> 00:16:01,580
Pretty good, mon Dieu!
350
00:16:01,580 --> 00:16:03,650
But you delight me
with your modesty.
351
00:16:03,650 --> 00:16:05,780
He's actually one of the best
I've ever seen.
352
00:16:05,780 --> 00:16:07,380
Hmm.
353
00:16:07,390 --> 00:16:10,720
You know, people love to throw
around this word "best"...
354
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,260
Best Buy,
355
00:16:12,260 --> 00:16:14,060
Seattle's Best Coffee,
356
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,330
This Country's Best Yogurt.
357
00:16:16,330 --> 00:16:18,060
But these are just words, no?
358
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,400
Would you be willing to, say...
359
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:24,400
stake your life on the fact
that you are the best?
360
00:16:26,340 --> 00:16:27,870
I-I'm not sure I follow.
361
00:16:27,870 --> 00:16:30,270
This is the latest in VR gaming.
362
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:33,210
You will be completely,
totally immersed
363
00:16:33,210 --> 00:16:36,550
in the virtual landscape
of "Voyage Quest."
364
00:16:36,550 --> 00:16:39,020
You will not only see and hear
everything around you,
365
00:16:39,020 --> 00:16:44,490
but this is also what we call
total biological simulation,
366
00:16:44,490 --> 00:16:46,220
or total BS.
367
00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:48,160
Wouldn't that be TBS?
368
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,030
Very funny.
369
00:16:50,030 --> 00:16:51,700
What I mean to say is,
370
00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:56,500
that this game will connect
to your central nervous system.
371
00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:59,640
Whatever the avatar experiences
in the game,
372
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:03,170
the game player will experience,
as well.
373
00:17:03,180 --> 00:17:08,980
If, for example,
your avatar were to... die,
374
00:17:08,980 --> 00:17:12,650
the human controller will die,
as well.
375
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:16,650
Mom?
376
00:17:16,650 --> 00:17:19,360
Jesus Christ.
A.J., get out of there!
377
00:17:21,190 --> 00:17:23,260
All right.
378
00:17:23,260 --> 00:17:24,730
Let's give this a whirl.
379
00:17:24,730 --> 00:17:26,600
Now, how... how exactly
do you make this...
380
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,530
Aah!
381
00:17:28,530 --> 00:17:32,140
The game is now connected
to your spinal cord.
382
00:17:32,140 --> 00:17:34,070
How... Oh.
383
00:17:34,070 --> 00:17:35,340
Okay.
384
00:17:35,340 --> 00:17:37,470
Uh...
385
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:40,940
Okay, so, you got tennis,
Ping-Pong...
386
00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:42,950
Keep scrolling down.
387
00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:44,750
"Voyage Quest."
388
00:17:44,750 --> 00:17:47,680
Now hit the virtual
"start" button.
389
00:17:47,690 --> 00:17:49,090
Uh, okay.
390
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:51,760
I'm in!
391
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,690
Wow!
392
00:17:54,690 --> 00:17:56,890
It's so real.
393
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:58,830
I-I-I can... I can feel
the breeze through my...
394
00:17:58,830 --> 00:18:01,630
Aah! Ow!
395
00:18:03,970 --> 00:18:06,440
Becky, what the hell?!
396
00:18:20,190 --> 00:18:24,050
BaguetteBardot?
The world's best gamer.
397
00:18:24,060 --> 00:18:25,660
Enchanté.
398
00:18:25,660 --> 00:18:27,860
Obviously, the only way
for me to actually know
399
00:18:27,860 --> 00:18:32,330
if you are the best
is for you to play my champion.
400
00:18:32,330 --> 00:18:35,530
So, the rules will
be as follows...
401
00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:41,200
If Baguette wins,
well... you die.
402
00:18:41,210 --> 00:18:45,680
But if you win,
I will allow you to arrest me
403
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:49,210
for money laundering
and international espionage,
404
00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:52,220
Angela Geils Jr.
405
00:18:53,750 --> 00:18:55,350
He's made. He's made!
406
00:18:55,350 --> 00:18:56,750
I don't like this!
407
00:18:56,750 --> 00:18:58,820
We wasted an entire
half-sandwich!
408
00:18:58,820 --> 00:19:00,220
Scholls, you have to hack
into the game!
409
00:19:00,230 --> 00:19:01,630
You have to get him
out of there!
410
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:07,560
It's...
411
00:19:07,570 --> 00:19:09,770
beautiful.
412
00:19:21,180 --> 00:19:23,050
Space Needle!
413
00:19:23,050 --> 00:19:25,250
Troll Blanket!
414
00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:26,850
Cornish Game Hen.
415
00:19:26,850 --> 00:19:28,250
Leg of Lamb!
416
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,190
Grease Pencil!
417
00:19:32,390 --> 00:19:34,590
Banana Peel!
418
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:35,930
Ice Mushroom!
419
00:19:35,930 --> 00:19:36,860
Vapor Shield!
420
00:19:36,860 --> 00:19:37,860
Fire Rain!
421
00:19:37,860 --> 00:19:39,400
Globe of Conservation!
422
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,000
Horn of Plenty!
423
00:19:42,130 --> 00:19:43,330
Technicolor Dreamcoat!
424
00:19:43,340 --> 00:19:44,730
Aah!
Elf Leg!
425
00:19:44,740 --> 00:19:45,940
Aaaah!
426
00:19:45,940 --> 00:19:48,070
Elf Leg!
No!
427
00:19:48,070 --> 00:19:50,940
Elf Leg!
Noooooo!
428
00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:53,480
Dagger of Espadrille!
429
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,350
Au revoir, Monsieur Geils!
430
00:19:56,350 --> 00:19:57,950
Au revoir!
431
00:19:57,950 --> 00:19:59,080
Nooooo!
432
00:20:00,350 --> 00:20:03,890
Simon says...
"You're dead."
433
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,560
No.
434
00:20:15,900 --> 00:20:17,430
You son of a...
435
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:25,380
Cardin's in the wind.
436
00:20:25,380 --> 00:20:26,840
Cardin's in the wind!
437
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:29,180
Don't sweat it.
We'll pick you up in 20.
438
00:20:29,180 --> 00:20:30,510
Cardin will get his.
439
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,320
Roger that.
440
00:20:46,330 --> 00:20:48,000
Ooh.
441
00:20:49,670 --> 00:20:53,700
This feels like
a real Hula-Hoop!
31195
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof