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1
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_
2
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I'm so happy you're home.
3
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I'm so happy to be home.
4
00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:33,766
Get in my arms right now!
5
00:00:36,503 --> 00:00:38,036
Oh, my God.
6
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,171
You cut all your hair off.
7
00:00:39,438 --> 00:00:41,408
- Yeah, it's fun.
- Is it? Eh.
8
00:00:41,467 --> 00:00:43,275
You need a haircut.
9
00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:45,243
What do you think of the posters?
10
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:46,711
Oh, yeah, great, man.
11
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:50,416
Looks a little more like Mom
than it does Delilah, but yeah.
12
00:00:50,418 --> 00:00:52,151
I was thinking
she's been gone for a year,
13
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:53,254
so she might look a little older.
14
00:00:53,255 --> 00:00:54,805
I'm sure people
will see the resemblance.
15
00:00:54,821 --> 00:00:56,749
I mean, I'm just so happy
to be home, okay.
16
00:00:57,363 --> 00:00:58,970
And nothing is gonna stop us thi...
17
00:00:58,971 --> 00:01:00,236
Hey!
18
00:01:00,238 --> 00:01:01,638
- Hey!
- Hey, hey.
19
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:02,973
- Slow your roll.
- I'm slow.
20
00:01:02,975 --> 00:01:04,374
Okay, my roll couldn't be slower.
21
00:01:04,376 --> 00:01:06,576
Okay, I'm just saying, every
time we charge into a situation,
22
00:01:06,578 --> 00:01:08,244
we end up tripping
on our own dick, so...
23
00:01:08,246 --> 00:01:09,932
I'm not gonna trip on
anything, all right?
24
00:01:09,933 --> 00:01:12,382
- Okay.
- We're getting the band back together.
25
00:01:12,384 --> 00:01:15,251
Hey, man, um, you're
kind of plastering over
26
00:01:15,253 --> 00:01:17,276
the posters my son put up, so, uh...
27
00:01:17,681 --> 00:01:19,615
Missing Delilah is your band?
28
00:01:19,617 --> 00:01:21,817
Uh, no. M-My child is Delilah.
29
00:01:21,819 --> 00:01:23,152
She's... She's missing.
30
00:01:23,154 --> 00:01:25,955
But you just said you were
getting the band back together.
31
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:27,728
I did. It's a figure of speech.
32
00:01:27,748 --> 00:01:29,566
Okay, well, where am I
supposed to put my band?
33
00:01:29,950 --> 00:01:32,684
Again, it's not a band.
34
00:01:32,686 --> 00:01:33,819
It's a...
35
00:01:33,821 --> 00:01:36,346
My child Delilah, she ran away.
36
00:01:37,090 --> 00:01:40,722
Oh! I thought it was a band.
37
00:01:40,854 --> 00:01:42,754
Yeah, a couple times now. But no.
38
00:01:43,897 --> 00:01:44,904
Hey.
39
00:01:45,492 --> 00:01:46,558
Found her.
40
00:01:46,567 --> 00:01:48,167
Nate, let it go.
41
00:01:48,169 --> 00:01:49,835
You're tired. You just got home.
42
00:01:49,837 --> 00:01:51,370
Hey, you haven't even
seen the place yet.
43
00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:52,637
You're gonna love it. It's small,
44
00:01:52,639 --> 00:01:54,039
but you're gonna love it. Jesus Christ!
45
00:01:54,041 --> 00:01:55,608
- Are you deaf?
- What?!
46
00:01:56,710 --> 00:01:57,776
Between the Putt-Putt
47
00:01:57,778 --> 00:01:59,711
and the old folks' home
with the unsecured Wi-Fi,
48
00:01:59,713 --> 00:02:02,714
this is prime real estate
for band peeps.
49
00:02:03,917 --> 00:02:05,517
You know what?
There was a time in my life
50
00:02:05,519 --> 00:02:07,019
when someone like you
did something like this,
51
00:02:07,020 --> 00:02:08,453
I would probably break all their teeth.
52
00:02:08,455 --> 00:02:10,856
And their nose. A few ribs.
53
00:02:10,858 --> 00:02:13,992
Geez, no wonder your daughter
ran away... Hitler.
54
00:02:15,262 --> 00:02:16,327
Godwin's law.
55
00:02:16,329 --> 00:02:19,064
Ah, see?! She's heard of us, old man!
56
00:02:19,066 --> 00:02:22,667
But, uh, we're actually called
Goblin's Slaw.
57
00:02:22,669 --> 00:02:25,270
No, young man, it's Godwin's law.
58
00:02:25,272 --> 00:02:27,006
If a debate goes on long enough,
59
00:02:27,008 --> 00:02:28,812
Hitler is eventually brought up.
60
00:02:28,813 --> 00:02:30,676
Can you just break his jaw
so we can leave already?
61
00:02:30,677 --> 00:02:31,992
No, I'm not gonna do that, okay?
62
00:02:31,993 --> 00:02:33,064
You're right, man.
63
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:36,348
A lot of the reasons why my
daughter ran away was my fault.
64
00:02:36,550 --> 00:02:38,888
And I'm trying to make a change.
65
00:02:38,889 --> 00:02:41,153
- You're doing great. Doing a great job.
- Okay, so I'm asking you,
66
00:02:41,154 --> 00:02:43,622
please, just stop doing
what you're doing, okay?
67
00:02:43,624 --> 00:02:44,890
No can douche.
68
00:02:47,695 --> 00:02:49,384
Aah!
69
00:02:49,385 --> 00:02:50,899
Why would you do that?!
70
00:02:51,164 --> 00:02:54,306
He broke my teeth and my jaw.
71
00:02:54,768 --> 00:02:56,367
Get me out of here!
72
00:02:56,369 --> 00:02:57,836
Get me out of here!
73
00:02:57,838 --> 00:02:59,138
Babe, what do you say
when you do the...
74
00:02:59,139 --> 00:03:00,227
Am I being detained?
75
00:03:00,228 --> 00:03:01,707
Yeah. Hey, am I being detained?
76
00:03:01,709 --> 00:03:03,375
Yes. Yes, you are.
77
00:03:03,377 --> 00:03:04,471
Oh, shit.
78
00:03:24,732 --> 00:03:26,265
What are you in for?
79
00:03:26,267 --> 00:03:27,733
Shitty parents.
80
00:03:28,669 --> 00:03:30,669
So just to be clear, we're going with
81
00:03:30,671 --> 00:03:33,881
42-year-old man claims
17-year-old boy started it?
82
00:03:33,882 --> 00:03:35,941
He did. He stapled me.
83
00:03:35,943 --> 00:03:38,410
Listen, I get it. Your daughter's dead.
84
00:03:38,412 --> 00:03:40,011
She's not dead. She's missing.
85
00:03:40,013 --> 00:03:42,147
For over a year.
Those odds aren't good.
86
00:03:42,149 --> 00:03:44,149
I can't imagine
what you're going through.
87
00:03:46,419 --> 00:03:47,753
Let me show you this video we made.
88
00:03:54,561 --> 00:03:56,161
I think you're gonna like this.
89
00:03:56,163 --> 00:03:58,163
Missing children are kind of my jam.
90
00:04:00,433 --> 00:04:01,713
_
91
00:04:02,432 --> 00:04:04,432
_
92
00:04:05,106 --> 00:04:07,106
_
93
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,008
_
94
00:04:10,778 --> 00:04:13,312
I wanted to see the world
when I grew up.
95
00:04:13,314 --> 00:04:14,846
I never thought I'd see it
96
00:04:14,848 --> 00:04:16,715
while stuck in a cargo container
97
00:04:16,717 --> 00:04:18,517
on my way to Thailand,
98
00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:22,664
trying not to vomit from
the sea of urine and feces.
99
00:04:23,056 --> 00:04:25,367
And I've only been
missing for 24 hours,
100
00:04:25,926 --> 00:04:27,659
just like all these girls.
101
00:04:29,196 --> 00:04:31,930
My God! Why would you
make us watch this?
102
00:04:31,932 --> 00:04:34,533
To press upon you the fact
of how important it is
103
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:36,135
to get your daughter back ASAP.
104
00:04:36,137 --> 00:04:38,069
We already know that.
105
00:04:38,071 --> 00:04:39,171
Well, check this out.
106
00:04:41,008 --> 00:04:42,340
When I was a little girl,
107
00:04:42,341 --> 00:04:44,402
I dreamed of being a famous magician.
108
00:04:44,745 --> 00:04:46,326
I'm been missing 48 hours,
109
00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:49,132
and the only tricks I can do
now are the ones I turn...
110
00:04:49,817 --> 00:04:51,216
for heroin.
111
00:04:51,218 --> 00:04:52,752
Oh, come on!
112
00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:54,687
Oh!
113
00:04:56,289 --> 00:04:57,689
That dirty pervert?
114
00:04:57,691 --> 00:04:59,179
Our desk sergeant Barry.
115
00:04:59,379 --> 00:05:01,680
He said he wasn't an actor,
but that... one take.
116
00:05:02,849 --> 00:05:05,050
Tough crowd. All right, here you go.
117
00:05:05,166 --> 00:05:08,233
I was
supposed to have a playdate today.
118
00:05:10,504 --> 00:05:12,271
I'm pretty good at hide-and-seek.
119
00:05:15,042 --> 00:05:17,855
But if you haven't found me
after 72 hours,
120
00:05:18,475 --> 00:05:20,112
you'll be seeking me forever.
121
00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:25,917
Jesus Christ, would you
turn this off, please?!
122
00:05:25,919 --> 00:05:29,109
Funny story... the little girl
is allergic to corn syrup.
123
00:05:29,110 --> 00:05:30,377
That's what we used to make the blood,
124
00:05:30,378 --> 00:05:31,445
that and a little food coloring.
125
00:05:31,446 --> 00:05:32,921
But you know these stage moms.
126
00:05:32,923 --> 00:05:35,189
"Oh, she'll be fine. It's okay."
127
00:05:35,190 --> 00:05:37,821
I'm gonna tell you again,
our daughter is not dead.
128
00:05:37,822 --> 00:05:39,461
We get videos from her all the time.
129
00:05:39,463 --> 00:05:41,195
Bet they're not as good as my videos.
130
00:05:41,197 --> 00:05:42,464
I...
131
00:05:42,466 --> 00:05:44,198
She's living here in Syracuse,
132
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,601
and we need your help
to find her, please.
133
00:05:46,603 --> 00:05:47,936
Well, you are in luck.
134
00:05:47,938 --> 00:05:51,005
Because this video has
a "tips and tricks" portion.
135
00:05:51,007 --> 00:05:53,207
_
136
00:05:53,209 --> 00:05:55,877
Tip one... contact
local law enforcement.
137
00:05:55,879 --> 00:05:57,679
Syracuse P.D.!
138
00:05:57,681 --> 00:05:59,281
You already did that. Good for you.
139
00:05:59,283 --> 00:06:01,616
Tip two... fliers work.
140
00:06:01,618 --> 00:06:02,884
Blanket your neighborhood,
141
00:06:02,886 --> 00:06:06,554
'cause chances are
somebody saw me with her.
142
00:06:06,556 --> 00:06:07,890
Check... two for two.
143
00:06:07,892 --> 00:06:10,425
Barry, say hi. Big fans over here.
144
00:06:10,809 --> 00:06:12,226
Hey, folks, how you doing?
145
00:06:12,228 --> 00:06:15,430
Tip three, make sure to always
contact family members.
146
00:06:15,432 --> 00:06:18,522
They may be a safe haven
for your little runaway.
147
00:06:19,369 --> 00:06:20,702
I'm assuming you did that.
148
00:06:20,704 --> 00:06:22,538
- Of course.
- Yeah.
149
00:06:24,708 --> 00:06:25,708
What?
150
00:06:25,709 --> 00:06:27,375
You called your family, right?
151
00:06:27,377 --> 00:06:29,872
You're my family.
There's no one else to call.
152
00:06:30,180 --> 00:06:31,506
What about your mom?
153
00:06:31,715 --> 00:06:33,520
- Hmm?
- Did you call your mom?
154
00:06:34,209 --> 00:06:36,375
I searched the globe, okay?
155
00:06:36,653 --> 00:06:38,787
Deserts, tundra, jungle.
156
00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:40,054
Don't forget Japan!
157
00:06:40,056 --> 00:06:42,056
Hey, don't bring up Japan!
158
00:06:42,327 --> 00:06:44,438
Okay, I don't even want
to hear the word "Japan."
159
00:06:44,861 --> 00:06:46,194
So shitty.
160
00:06:46,196 --> 00:06:47,996
Please tell me you called your mom.
161
00:06:47,998 --> 00:06:49,531
Did you call my mom?
162
00:06:49,533 --> 00:06:51,129
Why would I call your mom?
She's not my mom.
163
00:06:51,390 --> 00:06:53,614
- So you admit you didn't call my mom?
- Did you call your mom?!
164
00:06:53,694 --> 00:06:56,404
I didn't have to call my mom
because she's a horrible person
165
00:06:56,406 --> 00:06:58,406
and there's no way
Delilah would go there.
166
00:06:58,408 --> 00:07:00,408
Yeah, I see her.
167
00:07:00,706 --> 00:07:03,011
Little twat pops in
at least once a week.
168
00:07:03,013 --> 00:07:06,212
Uses all my hot water
and steals my fiber bars.
169
00:07:06,213 --> 00:07:07,556
- Unbelievable.
- I know.
170
00:07:07,762 --> 00:07:09,417
Who would want to spend
even a second here?
171
00:07:09,419 --> 00:07:12,287
Seriously, everything that comes
out of her mouth is an insult.
172
00:07:13,423 --> 00:07:15,624
She must have been so
desperate to come here.
173
00:07:17,093 --> 00:07:19,427
It was a phone call, one phone call.
174
00:07:19,429 --> 00:07:21,763
Mistakes were made on both sides.
175
00:07:21,765 --> 00:07:23,131
One side.
176
00:07:55,399 --> 00:07:57,999
Why wouldn't you call me
and tell me she was here?
177
00:07:58,001 --> 00:08:02,003
Well, I thought about
calling you on my birthday
178
00:08:02,005 --> 00:08:04,405
and then again on Mother's Day.
179
00:08:04,406 --> 00:08:06,011
And I really wanted to say something
180
00:08:06,012 --> 00:08:08,865
that day I had a mass
removed from my hip,
181
00:08:08,919 --> 00:08:10,519
but it turned out to be malignant,
182
00:08:10,521 --> 00:08:13,957
and I thought, "Nah, I don't want
to intrude on his busy life."
183
00:08:15,139 --> 00:08:17,677
So what time does Delilah
usually come by?
184
00:08:18,262 --> 00:08:19,899
I don't pay attention to clocks.
185
00:08:21,599 --> 00:08:23,332
Look behind you.
There's like 50 of them.
186
00:08:23,334 --> 00:08:24,867
What are you, a clock Nazi?
187
00:08:24,869 --> 00:08:26,068
Don't call me a...
188
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:28,204
Stop it, stop. What... What day?
189
00:08:28,206 --> 00:08:29,405
What day does she come by?
190
00:08:29,407 --> 00:08:31,340
Hump day, 3:00 p.m.
191
00:08:31,342 --> 00:08:32,675
Like clockwork.
192
00:08:32,677 --> 00:08:34,203
That's... That's today.
193
00:08:34,204 --> 00:08:35,478
Great, so 3:00 p.m. today.
194
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,053
No, today's Wednesday.
Hump day's Thursday.
195
00:08:38,483 --> 00:08:41,017
No. No, hump day's Wednesday.
196
00:08:41,019 --> 00:08:42,951
No, Thursday.
197
00:08:42,953 --> 00:08:44,620
When the guys get their dick pills
198
00:08:44,622 --> 00:08:46,489
and the gals get their cheap thrills.
199
00:08:46,491 --> 00:08:47,756
It means we get laid.
200
00:08:47,758 --> 00:08:49,025
Hump. You know, hump means...
201
00:08:49,027 --> 00:08:50,226
Okay, we get it.
202
00:08:50,228 --> 00:08:52,895
Oh, we get it... that is, STDs.
203
00:08:52,897 --> 00:08:53,963
But it's okay.
204
00:08:53,965 --> 00:08:56,232
I can run the clock out on most of 'em.
205
00:08:56,234 --> 00:08:58,835
Even syphilis doesn't
have time to get me.
206
00:08:58,837 --> 00:09:02,816
Helen, what's with all these
"Delilah's missing" posters?
207
00:09:02,817 --> 00:09:05,307
She's not missing.
I'm seeing her tonight.
208
00:09:05,309 --> 00:09:06,517
Wait, you know my daughter?
209
00:09:06,578 --> 00:09:09,728
Sure! She plays in a band
with my grandson.
210
00:09:09,914 --> 00:09:11,314
I think they may be schtupping.
211
00:09:11,316 --> 00:09:13,233
Please tell me that means
more than one thing.
212
00:09:13,235 --> 00:09:14,334
'Course it does.
213
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:15,784
You got your regular schtupping.
214
00:09:15,786 --> 00:09:17,319
You got your doggie-style schtupping.
215
00:09:17,321 --> 00:09:18,721
You got your shower schtupping.
216
00:09:18,723 --> 00:09:20,122
Speaking of which, Helen,
217
00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:22,791
I'm gonna hit the steam
room and limber up,
218
00:09:22,793 --> 00:09:26,529
so in 20 minutes,
you be ready to get some.
219
00:09:26,531 --> 00:09:30,507
- Oh, come on! He just ruined my thing.
- Thank God.
220
00:09:30,593 --> 00:09:31,800
Oh, hey.
221
00:09:31,802 --> 00:09:33,061
- Hey, man.
- Just... Just...
222
00:09:33,062 --> 00:09:34,471
- I'm gonna go find the steam shower.
- Yeah, go... go get him.
223
00:09:34,472 --> 00:09:35,938
- Go get him. I sh...
- You stay here.
224
00:09:35,940 --> 00:09:37,540
I should... I should go with you.
225
00:09:37,542 --> 00:09:39,341
J-Jared, why don't you
stay here with Nana,
226
00:09:39,343 --> 00:09:40,677
get some quality family time.
227
00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:42,344
Using me as a punishment?
228
00:09:42,346 --> 00:09:44,280
No! I just...
I thought it would be nice.
229
00:09:44,282 --> 00:09:46,593
- What would be nice?
- Just to catch up.
230
00:09:46,817 --> 00:09:50,219
- On what?
- All... everything.
231
00:09:50,221 --> 00:09:51,387
No, no.
232
00:09:53,314 --> 00:09:56,015
How far along are you
in the transition process?
233
00:09:56,294 --> 00:09:57,960
I'm a boy.
234
00:09:57,962 --> 00:09:59,128
Bullshit.
235
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:03,866
Oh, God.
236
00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:05,949
Occupied!
237
00:10:06,771 --> 00:10:08,037
What are you doing in here?
238
00:10:08,039 --> 00:10:09,838
- Oh, what is that?
- What?
239
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,375
You ain't never seen
a pair of testankles before?
240
00:10:12,377 --> 00:10:14,443
What? Testicles that
hang to your ankles.
241
00:10:14,445 --> 00:10:15,644
Okay, sorry. I'm sorry.
242
00:10:15,646 --> 00:10:17,330
Get used to it, 'cause I'm
gonna have them, too.
243
00:10:17,782 --> 00:10:18,981
Oh, hey.
244
00:10:18,983 --> 00:10:20,249
Marty, hey.
245
00:10:20,251 --> 00:10:21,384
Can I ask you a quick question?
246
00:10:21,386 --> 00:10:23,519
- You mind closing the door?
- Absolutely, yes.
247
00:10:23,521 --> 00:10:25,654
You said you were seeing Delilah
tonight. Uh, where?
248
00:10:26,199 --> 00:10:27,934
Check the poster over there, you putz.
249
00:10:27,935 --> 00:10:29,125
Now, close the door.
250
00:10:29,127 --> 00:10:30,259
What?
251
00:10:38,208 --> 00:10:39,833
Babe, how could you miss this?
252
00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:41,337
I...
253
00:10:41,339 --> 00:10:43,072
really need to slow my roll.
254
00:10:43,074 --> 00:10:44,407
Yeah.
255
00:10:44,409 --> 00:10:45,674
- God.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
256
00:10:45,676 --> 00:10:47,543
- Let's just go. Let's go.
- Hold on, hold on.
257
00:10:47,545 --> 00:10:48,945
So, quick question. Hi.
258
00:10:49,130 --> 00:10:51,748
Um, I haven't seen my daughter
in a really long time,
259
00:10:51,750 --> 00:10:53,882
and your grandson sounds lovely.
260
00:10:53,884 --> 00:10:56,352
But this whole schtupping thing,
that's not true, is it?
261
00:10:56,354 --> 00:11:00,421
Well, I'll tell ya, every
grandson when he hits puberty
262
00:11:00,491 --> 00:11:03,492
loves to sit his tuchus on Zeyde's lap
263
00:11:03,494 --> 00:11:05,561
and ask how to properly
nosh out a knish.
264
00:11:05,563 --> 00:11:06,876
That's my daughter
you're talking about.
265
00:11:06,897 --> 00:11:07,963
- Oh, it is?
- Yes.
266
00:11:07,964 --> 00:11:09,003
Well, she should thank me.
267
00:11:09,004 --> 00:11:12,368
I taught him to use the Hebrew
alphabet with his tongue.
268
00:11:12,788 --> 00:11:14,837
Now close the goddamn door.
It's getting cold in here.
269
00:11:14,839 --> 00:11:16,372
Oh, you like it hot, do you?
270
00:11:16,374 --> 00:11:18,641
Does your daughter like
to ride a big schmeckle?
271
00:11:18,643 --> 00:11:20,176
Yes. Close the door.
272
00:11:21,379 --> 00:11:23,579
Whoa, be cool! Slow your roll!
273
00:11:23,581 --> 00:11:25,314
How's that? Is that hot enough for ya?
274
00:11:25,316 --> 00:11:26,582
I'll let you know.
275
00:11:26,584 --> 00:11:28,785
It's not instantaneous, you nudge.
276
00:11:28,787 --> 00:11:31,053
Then you have no idea what it
feels like to lose somebody.
277
00:11:31,055 --> 00:11:33,790
I'm 77 years old and Jewish.
278
00:11:33,792 --> 00:11:35,725
What do you think? Oh.
279
00:11:38,797 --> 00:11:39,797
Open it.
280
00:11:40,014 --> 00:11:41,828
- What? Open what?
- The door.
281
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,399
You're blocking it with your foot.
282
00:11:43,401 --> 00:11:44,533
No, I'm not.
283
00:11:44,535 --> 00:11:46,142
Then you broke it, you schmendrick.
284
00:11:46,225 --> 00:11:47,336
She closed it.
285
00:11:47,338 --> 00:11:48,504
What does that sign say?
286
00:11:49,608 --> 00:11:51,073
How could you not see?
287
00:11:51,075 --> 00:11:53,142
- Yep.
- Not see?
288
00:11:53,144 --> 00:11:55,411
- I...
- Not see?!
289
00:11:55,413 --> 00:11:56,945
At least turn down the heat.
290
00:11:56,947 --> 00:11:58,414
It's like an oven in here.
291
00:11:58,416 --> 00:12:00,883
- Oh, shoot.
- What the hell?!
292
00:12:00,885 --> 00:12:03,820
I-I'm so sor...
I may have broken this, too.
293
00:12:03,822 --> 00:12:05,754
What did you do to Marty?
294
00:12:05,756 --> 00:12:08,090
Okay, be cool.
Mistakes were made on both sides.
295
00:12:08,092 --> 00:12:09,826
No, that's not actually true.
He started it.
296
00:12:09,828 --> 00:12:10,960
- Marty?
- Yeah.
297
00:12:10,962 --> 00:12:12,962
I was mildly annoyed
298
00:12:12,964 --> 00:12:15,498
because he was
letting all the steam out.
299
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:16,966
Why would you do that?
300
00:12:16,968 --> 00:12:19,435
You think that steam grows on trees?
301
00:12:19,694 --> 00:12:21,134
Oy vey!
302
00:12:21,973 --> 00:12:24,173
I don't think I'm gonna
make it this time.
303
00:12:24,629 --> 00:12:26,375
Tell my grandson I love him,
304
00:12:26,377 --> 00:12:29,245
and tell him he can stay
with the shiksa,
305
00:12:29,247 --> 00:12:30,513
but she's just for practice.
306
00:12:30,515 --> 00:12:32,515
What?! Excuse me? For practice?
307
00:12:32,517 --> 00:12:33,850
Like some kind of pocket pussy?
308
00:12:33,852 --> 00:12:34,872
What?
309
00:12:34,873 --> 00:12:36,318
Despite what you're doing,
310
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,654
I believe there's good in your heart.
311
00:12:37,656 --> 00:12:39,055
Do not quote Anne Frank to me.
312
00:12:39,057 --> 00:12:40,923
Don't tell a Holocaust
survivor what to do.
313
00:12:40,925 --> 00:12:42,859
You're too young
to be a Holocaust survivor!
314
00:12:42,861 --> 00:12:44,793
You're a Holocaust survivor?
315
00:12:44,795 --> 00:12:47,590
- He's lying.
- She's Holocaust-denying me!
316
00:12:48,708 --> 00:12:51,333
I can't believe
this is how I'm going out.
317
00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:54,537
At least if Hitler killed me,
I'd have my name on the wall.
318
00:12:54,539 --> 00:12:56,405
You're not gonna die.
I'm getting you...
319
00:12:56,407 --> 00:12:58,407
Move back, move back.
I'm gonna kick it open.
320
00:12:58,409 --> 00:13:03,079
It's triple-paned tempered
glass, you schnook.
321
00:13:03,081 --> 00:13:06,336
You couldn't knock it down
with a panzer tank, Rommel.
322
00:13:09,688 --> 00:13:11,420
This is it?
323
00:13:11,422 --> 00:13:12,755
Oy!
324
00:13:12,757 --> 00:13:14,423
- Ah.
- Shit.
325
00:13:15,894 --> 00:13:17,493
I'll get you out of there, man.
Back up!
326
00:13:18,963 --> 00:13:19,963
What?
327
00:13:23,301 --> 00:13:24,701
Ah! Ah!
328
00:13:28,106 --> 00:13:29,106
What are you doing?!
329
00:13:29,107 --> 00:13:30,506
What do you want me to do? He's dying!
330
00:13:30,508 --> 00:13:32,575
Oh, no!
331
00:13:34,044 --> 00:13:36,379
He's trying to kill Mort!
332
00:13:36,381 --> 00:13:38,915
He is the "Desert Fox."
333
00:13:38,917 --> 00:13:41,684
I'm Schindler in this scenario, okay?
334
00:13:42,653 --> 00:13:44,220
Jesus! Nate.
335
00:13:47,058 --> 00:13:48,758
What is this made of?!
336
00:13:51,195 --> 00:13:52,328
No!
337
00:13:52,330 --> 00:13:53,429
Aah!
338
00:13:54,599 --> 00:13:56,465
Marty, I'm coming for ya!
339
00:13:56,467 --> 00:13:58,200
I got him.
340
00:13:58,202 --> 00:14:00,803
[Grunting.
341
00:14:00,805 --> 00:14:02,739
I got him. Oh.
342
00:14:02,741 --> 00:14:04,006
You all right?
343
00:14:04,008 --> 00:14:06,675
He's okay. He's breathing.
344
00:14:06,677 --> 00:14:08,811
Nate Parker, friend of the Jews.
345
00:14:10,881 --> 00:14:12,448
You're all right.
346
00:14:16,687 --> 00:14:18,354
♪ It's fun being weird,
it's fun being weird ♪
347
00:14:18,355 --> 00:14:21,424
♪ It's fun being weird,
you should try it sometime ♪
348
00:14:21,426 --> 00:14:22,959
- ♪ It's fun being weird ♪
- Hey, how are you?
349
00:14:22,961 --> 00:14:24,093
Uh, two, please.
350
00:14:24,095 --> 00:14:25,694
You here for the Deaf Jam?
351
00:14:25,696 --> 00:14:26,846
- You know it.
- We are.
352
00:14:26,847 --> 00:14:28,645
- That's us, def.
- Really?
353
00:14:28,806 --> 00:14:30,126
You don't sound it.
354
00:14:30,485 --> 00:14:32,435
What does a def person sound like?
355
00:14:32,437 --> 00:14:34,170
I'm not gonna do the voice
'cause that's racist.
356
00:14:34,172 --> 00:14:35,704
No, listen, trust me, this guy,
357
00:14:35,706 --> 00:14:37,706
he just keeps getting def-er with age.
358
00:14:37,708 --> 00:14:39,642
Am I right?
359
00:14:40,037 --> 00:14:41,370
Keep the change.
360
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:43,912
I can't believe Def
Jam is still a thing.
361
00:14:43,914 --> 00:14:46,182
I know. I thought it got Me Too'd.
362
00:14:48,586 --> 00:14:50,519
Holy shit! It's so loud in here!
363
00:14:50,521 --> 00:14:52,921
- What?!
- I said it's so loud in here!
364
00:14:52,923 --> 00:14:54,190
What did you say?!
365
00:14:54,192 --> 00:14:56,058
I think we should spread out
and go look for her!
366
00:14:56,060 --> 00:14:58,060
No, I think we should wait
till she goes on,
367
00:14:58,062 --> 00:15:01,130
approach her tenderly, and tell
her how much we love her!
368
00:15:01,132 --> 00:15:02,398
No, I'm gonna go find her!
369
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,467
♪ You should try it sometime ♪
370
00:15:04,469 --> 00:15:06,002
- ♪ It's fun being weird ♪
- [Grunts]
371
00:15:06,004 --> 00:15:07,536
♪ It's fun being weird ♪
372
00:15:07,538 --> 00:15:10,873
♪ It's fun being weird,
you should try it sometime ♪
373
00:15:10,875 --> 00:15:12,141
♪ It's fun being weird ♪
374
00:15:12,143 --> 00:15:13,406
Excuse me.
375
00:15:13,678 --> 00:15:14,811
Hey!
376
00:15:16,281 --> 00:15:17,798
Hey!
377
00:15:18,216 --> 00:15:19,451
Hey!
378
00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:22,084
What, are you deaf? I need a drink!
379
00:15:25,490 --> 00:15:26,689
Oh, my God.
380
00:15:26,691 --> 00:15:29,091
It's you! Dylan from the poster!
381
00:15:29,093 --> 00:15:30,493
You're Delilah's boyfriend!
382
00:15:30,495 --> 00:15:32,294
We don't like labels, but yes.
383
00:15:32,296 --> 00:15:34,430
What?! Sorry!
I can't hear anything in here!
384
00:15:34,432 --> 00:15:37,166
- No one can.
- Well, you look like a nice boy!
385
00:15:37,168 --> 00:15:38,552
Dress well!
386
00:15:38,903 --> 00:15:40,703
Seems like you got your shit together!
387
00:15:40,705 --> 00:15:42,305
It's because of the aids.
388
00:15:42,573 --> 00:15:43,973
What?! I'm sorry.
389
00:15:43,975 --> 00:15:45,908
It's so loud!
390
00:15:45,910 --> 00:15:47,977
It sounded like you said you have AIDS!
391
00:15:47,979 --> 00:15:50,847
I do! I got a case of them in China.
392
00:15:50,849 --> 00:15:52,882
It really changed my life.
393
00:15:53,984 --> 00:15:55,318
Excuse me.
394
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:58,321
I'm looking for Delilah.
Do you see Delilah?
395
00:15:58,323 --> 00:16:01,724
Stop. Stop. Stop fighting, children.
396
00:16:01,726 --> 00:16:02,791
Ah. No.
397
00:16:02,793 --> 00:16:03,993
Don't make me fight back.
398
00:16:03,995 --> 00:16:05,461
I'm like triple your sizes.
399
00:16:05,463 --> 00:16:08,197
♪ It's fun being weird,
you should try it sometime ♪
400
00:16:08,199 --> 00:16:09,398
♪ It's fun being weird ♪
401
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,799
Most people in my community,
402
00:16:10,801 --> 00:16:12,068
they're uncomfortable with it.
403
00:16:12,070 --> 00:16:14,270
Most kids here, they're scared of aids.
404
00:16:14,272 --> 00:16:16,338
But it's really exciting to have them.
405
00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:18,407
They can really bring us all together.
406
00:16:18,409 --> 00:16:20,809
I can finally appreciate musicals.
407
00:16:20,811 --> 00:16:22,011
Have you seen "Rent"?
408
00:16:22,013 --> 00:16:23,013
No!
409
00:16:28,619 --> 00:16:30,887
Yeah!
410
00:16:30,888 --> 00:16:32,908
Oh! You got nothing on me!
411
00:16:34,092 --> 00:16:37,426
♪ And he accepts me
and my deviated septum ♪
412
00:16:43,702 --> 00:16:45,768
Yeah! Whoo!
413
00:16:45,770 --> 00:16:48,975
That's my new catchphrase,
'cause "Get some" is retired.
414
00:16:48,976 --> 00:16:50,106
Whoo!
415
00:16:50,108 --> 00:16:52,241
Did you give my daughter AIDS?!
416
00:16:52,243 --> 00:16:54,452
Oh, I've given them to a lot of ladies.
417
00:16:54,579 --> 00:16:56,178
You're a monster!
418
00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:58,114
Not my aids!
419
00:16:58,116 --> 00:17:02,385
♪ It's fun being weird,
you should try it sometime ♪
420
00:17:02,387 --> 00:17:03,519
What are those?!
421
00:17:03,521 --> 00:17:05,788
Hearing aids, you idiot!
422
00:17:05,790 --> 00:17:08,591
♪ You should try it sometime ♪
423
00:17:08,593 --> 00:17:10,326
Aah!
424
00:17:10,328 --> 00:17:13,029
Everybody watch out!
This guy's a total Hitler!
425
00:17:15,866 --> 00:17:17,734
Ah!
426
00:17:17,736 --> 00:17:19,268
I'm not Hitler!
427
00:17:19,270 --> 00:17:21,470
Stop! Stop it!
428
00:17:21,472 --> 00:17:24,206
You're attacking me, and I'm
just trying to find my daughter!
429
00:17:24,208 --> 00:17:25,408
Who's seen her?
430
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:27,169
I'm looking for Delilah.
431
00:17:27,678 --> 00:17:29,746
Delilah of the Double D's.
432
00:17:29,748 --> 00:17:32,415
Don't act like you can't
hear me, you dumb idiots!
433
00:17:32,417 --> 00:17:34,634
We're not dumb. We're deaf.
434
00:17:35,153 --> 00:17:36,153
Huh?
435
00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:40,423
Uh...
436
00:17:40,425 --> 00:17:41,958
- D-E-A-F.
- Yeah.
437
00:17:42,318 --> 00:17:44,461
I was gonna say
it's way too white in here
438
00:17:44,495 --> 00:17:45,894
to be a Def Jam, but...
439
00:17:46,030 --> 00:17:47,630
They can't hear you.
440
00:17:47,632 --> 00:17:48,831
I know. I know.
441
00:17:50,501 --> 00:17:52,435
- Just leave, man.
- Yeah, sorry.
442
00:17:52,437 --> 00:17:54,037
Continue. Have fun.
443
00:17:55,173 --> 00:17:59,642
Third Reich falls for
the second time, Hitler.
444
00:17:59,644 --> 00:18:01,243
You know, I think I might be ready
445
00:18:01,245 --> 00:18:02,845
to turn over a new leaf with them.
446
00:18:02,847 --> 00:18:03,980
It's been so long.
447
00:18:03,982 --> 00:18:06,202
I'm kind of excited to have them here.
448
00:18:06,203 --> 00:18:08,885
They've never seen my play, like, ever.
449
00:18:10,521 --> 00:18:14,323
All he had to do was say
hearing aids, just once!
450
00:18:14,325 --> 00:18:15,658
Yeah, sorry, everyone.
451
00:18:15,660 --> 00:18:17,460
I'd do this, but I'm cuffed, so...
452
00:18:17,462 --> 00:18:18,561
Love you all.
453
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,064
Your mom is insane.
454
00:18:22,066 --> 00:18:23,932
Yes, she is.
455
00:18:23,934 --> 00:18:25,868
It's okay. Who needs them?
456
00:18:25,870 --> 00:18:27,270
You got me.
457
00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:30,259
Oh, and remember, today's hump day.
458
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:33,676
Okay, when I'm ready to do it
with more than a snow machine,
459
00:18:33,678 --> 00:18:35,211
you'll be the first to know.
460
00:18:35,213 --> 00:18:38,147
Wait, did you just say snow machine?
461
00:18:38,149 --> 00:18:40,550
No, your aids must be full of soda.
462
00:18:43,695 --> 00:18:44,962
I can understand how racial
463
00:18:44,963 --> 00:18:47,490
and religious demographic
changes scare some people.
464
00:18:47,492 --> 00:18:49,738
I don't agree with it, but I can
wrap my brain around it.
465
00:18:50,094 --> 00:18:51,294
But deaf children?
466
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:53,562
I don't see where that even fits
on the bigotry scale.
467
00:18:53,564 --> 00:18:54,631
I hate do to this, but I think
468
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,167
I'm gonna have to charge you
with a hate crime.
469
00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:57,366
More like a Nate crime.
470
00:18:57,368 --> 00:18:58,767
Actually, I was talking to you.
471
00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:01,170
What? No, he's the one
who was pushing children.
472
00:19:01,172 --> 00:19:02,734
No, no, the kids said
473
00:19:02,735 --> 00:19:04,707
it was the best mosh pit
they'd ever been in.
474
00:19:04,709 --> 00:19:06,175
But you, on the other hand,
475
00:19:06,177 --> 00:19:08,911
destroyed $25,000
worth of concert aids.
476
00:19:09,366 --> 00:19:11,502
I thought that kid was HIV positive.
477
00:19:12,615 --> 00:19:14,217
That's not an excuse.
478
00:19:17,722 --> 00:19:19,495
- Really?
- None.
479
00:19:19,990 --> 00:19:23,125
Well... looks like it continues
to be your lucky day.
480
00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:24,993
No charges are being filed.
481
00:19:24,995 --> 00:19:26,329
Apparently, you have a guardian angel
482
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:27,463
that's looking out for you,
483
00:19:27,465 --> 00:19:29,357
keeping you from tripping
over your own dick...
484
00:19:30,134 --> 00:19:31,267
so to speak.
485
00:19:31,269 --> 00:19:33,135
- Your dick.
- I know whose dick it is.
486
00:19:33,137 --> 00:19:34,815
You got one.
487
00:19:35,073 --> 00:19:37,698
_
488
00:19:39,210 --> 00:19:42,045
Hi. Just give me a second, please.
489
00:19:43,414 --> 00:19:46,349
I want you to tell them
you're not pressing any charges.
490
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:47,416
Are you kidding?
491
00:19:47,418 --> 00:19:49,418
Your mom destroyed an entire case.
492
00:19:49,420 --> 00:19:50,887
Here, for your aids.
493
00:19:50,889 --> 00:19:52,421
She needs to go to jail.
494
00:19:52,423 --> 00:19:54,403
I swear I'll break your teeth, nose,
495
00:19:54,404 --> 00:19:56,518
- and a few of your ribs if you...
- Okay, relax.
496
00:19:56,845 --> 00:19:59,761
Don't tell me to relax!
497
00:19:59,849 --> 00:20:02,582
You know, if you weren't
such a lady Hitler,
498
00:20:02,945 --> 00:20:05,746
you might actually enjoy
the Hebrew alphabe...
499
00:20:08,951 --> 00:20:10,885
No charges!
500
00:20:21,563 --> 00:20:25,820
Hi. My ex-boyfriend
has something to say.
501
00:20:25,822 --> 00:20:28,486
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com
35561
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