All language subtitles for S1E03- Fine Feathered Finks

� Batman �

(male narrator)
Just before 9 o' clock

on a bright sunny morning
in Gotham City.

The city seems to be carefree
and serene, doesn't it?

But let's keep our eyes
on these little rascals.

Alright folks, listen on.
Hurry, hurry.

Here you are. Free umbrellas.
Win yourself a prize.

Win yourself a prize
on the inside.

These umbrellas are free.

You can't win a prize
without an umbrella.

Hurry folks, hurry.

That's strange,
everyone carrying umbrellas.

The weather report
didn't mention rain.

Who cares, Jenkins?
It looks like a smash.

- Open the door.
- Yes, sir.

[clamor]

Wait until they open
them umbrellas.

They say there are prizes
for lucky umbrellas.

I smell a hoax, Jenkins.

Devilish. Sinister.

[screaming]

[clamor]

Police! Help! Police!
Help! Police!

[dramatic music]

A trick umbrella.

As sure as a fingerprint.

The mark of the Penguin.

Correct, Chief O'Hara.
The Penguin.

That pompous, waddling
master of foul play.

A criminal maestro of a thousand
ubiquitous umbrellas.

But I thought he was still up
the river, commissioner.

So did I.

Until I checked
with the penitentiary.

The Penguin was released
three days ago.

Any volunteers, men?

Anyone think he's smart enough
to net the Penguin?

Oh, commissioner,
I speak for us all.

There's but one man living

who can throw the net
over that cagey bird.

Thank you, Chief O'Hara.
I admire your honesty.

And I make it unanimous.

Whoever he may be
behind that mask of his

our only hope
is the caped crusader.

And in Wayne Manor

stately home
of millionaire Bruce Wayne

and his youthful ward
Dick Grayson

Alfred the faithful butler
responds to the hotline.

I'll summon him, sir.

[speaking in French]

Oh, heck. What's the use
of learning French anyway?

Dick, I'm surprised at you.

Language is the key
to world peace.

If we all spoke
each others' tongues

perhaps the scourge of war
would be ended forever.

Gosh, Bruce, yes. I'll get these
darn verbs if they kill me.

Excuse me, sir.
It's the bat-phone, sir.

Yes, Alfred.

Ooh, boy. Let's go.

Mercy me, Dick Grayson.

Where are you going
in such an almighty hurry?

'Gosh, Aunt Harriet,
we just heard'

'the bass are biting again
in White's pond.'

See ya later, Aunt Harriet.

What can I do, Aunt Harriet?

You know how your nephew
is about fishing.

That's funny.

Heard the bass are biting?
Heard from whom?

I cannot tell a lie, madam.

It was myself
who imparted the information.

Yes, commissioner?

Brace yourself for a shock.
It's the Penguin.

We'll be right there.

To the bat-poles.

[theme music]

� Batman �

� Batman �

� Batman �

� Batman �

� Batman �

� Batman �

� Batman �

� Batman �

� Batman �

� Batman �

� Na na na na na na na na �

� Batman ��

[engine revving]

[theme music]

Strange.

The umbrellas all went mad

creating the perfect cover
for a holdup.

And yet there was
no holdup, right?

Right as rain, Batman.

The Penguin had everything
set up and then didn't strike.

The old one-two.

Beg pardon, Boy Wonder?

Bam! A feint
at the jewelry store.

To set us up for the real
knockout later on. Zowie!

Robin could be right.

Then again..

I wonder if this whole affair
might just have been

'a harmless practical joke.'

A joke, Batman?

I have great faith in our
prison system, commissioner.

Perhaps the Penguin's spell up
the river has made him reform.

You're dreaming, Batman.

It'll be a sad day
for corkscrews

'when that crooked bird
goes straight.'

Still. I'd like to know
what his state of mind was

when he left prison.

Bonnie, send in
Warden Crichton, will you?

Warden Crichton?
Of state prison? Here?

I anticipated
your question, Batman.

I had him rushed down
by helicopter.

Good morning, good morning.

Warden Crichton,
good to see you.

Warden, the dynamic duo.

- Pleased, I'm sure.
- The honor is ours, Warden.

I've long been a deep admirer
of your fine work

in reforming criminals.

Well, we've had
our little victories.

Our little failures too, alas.

How would you
rate the Penguin?

I'll let you judge that
for yourself, Batman.

- Indeed.
- Judge for myself?

By means of video tape.

It's one of my new
progressive policies, you see.

Before releasing a felon,
I assign him to a special cell

into which is built a secret
television camera.

It enables us
to study the extent

to which he's reformed,
if any.

Warden, you didn't
forget the tape?

I took the liberty
of leaving it

at your communications center
when I arrived.

They're waiting for your signal,
Commissioner Gordon.

Roll Warden Crichton's video
tape on the closed circuit.

Holy haberdashery!

That can't be regulation
prison uniform, can it?

It's another of my progressive
policies, Boy Wonder.

During the last week before
release I permit the prisoners

to wear their own clothing.

It helps acclimate them
to the outside world.

Sound penology, Warden.
Very sound.

Listen! The baleful bird
is about to chirp.

How irritating. Here I am
due to be released tomorrow

and I still haven't worked out
one single crime

worthy of my talents.

My whole stay in this
disgusting prison is wasted.

Yeah. Well, that's the way
it bounces, Penguin.

Some years are just a blind spot
out of a guy's life.

Hey, wait a minute.
My mother-in-law.

'She owns a candy store.'

You could always knock
that over if you wanna.

What? A candy store?

I'm an aristocrat of crookery,
my dear man.

No, I must devise something
royal, unsuspected, sensational.

A keeper that'll make that
Batman blow his brains out.

'Yeah, that Batman.'

'He's sure some kind
of pest, ain't he?'

Say, do you ever
stop to think, Penguin..

If only the Batman was a crook
instead of a law guy.

'Boy, oh, boy.'

'We'd turn his world
inside out.'

What did you say?

Oh, I was just thinking
out loud, Penguin.

I said, if only the Batman
was like us, a crook.

Wait. Wait!

Thoughts swingin'.

Oh, great heavenly sunshades.

I have it!
It's fantastical scheme.

It's hatched full blown.

U-day.

U for Umbrella day.

Oh, what a dazzling plot.

Hold it, Penguin, hold it.
Look up there.

Behind that phony spider web.

Ooh, yes.

Secret TV eyes..

Well, goodnight, big brother.

Yes, I'm afraid you'll have to
unravel the rest of my plot

by yourself!

Any thoughts, Batman?

On the whole, I think
we'd better discard my theory

about the Penguin's
going straight.

Where did I go wrong?

Why did my
progressive policies fail?

With an attitude like his

I'm amazed he was
turned loose at all.

Uh, Warden. Ours is a rule
of law, Boy Wonder.

When a man has paid his debt
to society, he must be released.

Gosh, yes. That was a pretty
dumb remark of mine.

Don't fret about it, old man.

The important thing is to get on
the Penguins trail fast.

I'll put out
a four points Bulletin.

Wait. I've got a better idea.

'Yes?'

The Penguin told us
on that secret tape.

Whatever his dazzling plot is,
it involves umbrellas.

- So, he'll need a front.
- Right.

Quickly, commissioner,
send for the city records.

Let's find out if anyone's
opened an umbrella factory

in the last three days.

Three new
umbrella factories.

None of them unfortunately,
in the name of Penguin.

It's a dead end.

Could he be using an alias?

Good thinking, Robin.

Chief, read me the names of
those umbrella factory licenses.

Here's RL Howard,
KG Bird, EP Sherlock.

Bird?

K-G Bird.

Cagey bird!

The Penguin! Get it?

Get it? Why, it's practically
transparent.

Address.
196 West, Seventh Avenue.

Let's go.

Meanwhile, atop
the umbrella factory

we find the sinister
secret headquarters

of the rascally penguin
and his fine feathered finks.

[laughs]

The most fantastic gimmick
in my whole criminal career.

Yeah.

Hmm, now, I wonder
what time it is.

At the signal the time
will be precisely 11:56.

[quacking]

Now, Hawkeye, give the go ahead
to swoop at the bank.

Okay, boss.

Maybe, I'm dumb, Penguin,
but I don't dig this caper.

Oh, it's very simple,
my little gosling.

I'm going to unleash
the most bizarre, senseless

barrage of umbrellas
onto Gotham City.

It'll be senseless to everybody,
but the Batman.

Whose keen mind
will unquestionably

piece together
the clues to my crime.

Well, what crime?

What the heck
are you planning?

Nothing.

Nothing?

Nothing?

What do you mean, nothing?

I am planning nothing.

The Batman's
gonna do that for me.

The Batman's not only
going to pick my crime

he is going to provide me
with a blueprint

as to how I should pull it off.

Are you sure
you haven't gone stir crazy?

Why, you, birdbrain.

How dare you mock me on the eve
of my greatest triumph.

Do you really mean the Batman's
gonna plan our caper?

Yes, my fine feathered finks.

It's a little plot
I hatched in prison.

Wait and see.

The Batman and the Penguin

are going to be
partners in plunder.

What's that?

Batman and the Penguin
partners in plunder?

Someone must have flipped
his fine feathered wig.

[bat-phone ringing]

Yes, commissioner?

A patrolman had just called in.

There's another man giving away
free umbrellas, Boy Wonder.

Outside the bank,
at Jefferson and 12th.

Roger.

Bank. Jefferson and 12th.

Hold tight. Bat-turn.

Stay calm, citizens.

Give us your umbrellas, quickly.

Robin, officer,
gather the umbrellas

put them in that
large wire basket.

Cover the basket with
the asbestos pad, officer.

[cackling]

Strange. There's no one
heading for the door.

True. And they don't
look like gangsters.

But it's just like
the jewelry shop.

A perfect setup
and no robbery.

What in heck
is the Penguin's game?

I don't know. But more than
ever I want to have a chat

with that cagey little bird.

"Senseless bank caper completed.
Batman on way."

Signed Swoop.

I'll just send in [indistinct]

Take this and attach it
to the handle

of the decoy in the launcher.

Wait for my signal.

[chimes jingling]

What's the plot, Penguin?

Oh, the dynamic duo.
Such distinguished customers.

May I show you
my humble wares.

We're not here to buy
umbrellas and you know it.

Spread your wings,
Mr. KG Bird.

We're flying you
down to headquarters.

On what charge, Boy Wonder?

Illegal umbrellas.

Assault and battery,
disturbing the peace.

We've got enough to put you
back on ice, Penguin.

Oh, tut-tut, Batman.

I only make the umbrellas.

What they do after they leave
here is hardly my affair.

Now, is it?

A tricky little creature.

He's right.

Darn it! Not a thing
to hold him on.

- Yet.
- Beg pardon?

Were you saying something?

You've outsmarted us
this time, Penguin.

But don't get too confident.

We know you're up to
some super-crime.

'And we're going to watch you.'

[laughs]

[quacking]

[rumbling]

Better warn the bystanders.

Right.

Back everyone. Back!

Take cover!
It could be explosive.

- Wow!
- Curious.

It looks like an ordinary
umbrella except

for it's unusual size.

Look up there, Batman!
Hanging from the handle.

I bet my life
on it, Robin

this could be a clue
to the Penguin's game.

- Only how to get at it?
- Easy. I'll use the bat-rope.

You run around, grab the edge of
this huge umbrella, study it.

Roger.

Careful, Batman.
Easy does it.

This is a tricky one alright.

Careful!

I got it.

Look. There's a silver plaque
on the handle.

"Special bat-brella.
Compliments of K. G. Bird."

Maker of superior umbrellas.

It's a clue alright.

- But what does it mean?
- To the bat-cave.

We'll analyze it.

Carry on, officers.

[theme music]

- Alfred!
- Sir?

Be careful.

Not to worry, Master Robin.

The safety lock is operative.

Don't worry about
Alfred, old man.

- Let's get to this bat-brella.
- Right.

I'll give you
a bit of fabric.

I'll take a rib.

Any luck with that fabric?

Negative. No secret
writing of any sort.

It's the same with
my section of the rib.

This bat-brella's made
of perfectly ordinary

chrome magnesium alloy.

The Penguin sure must
be having a laugh, Batman.

He's given us a clue to his plot
and we can't solve it.

If only we had some way
of spying on him.

Well, that's it, Robin.

You've done it again.

- No kidding?
- Look, listen.

'Electronic bugging devices.'

A perfect, lifelike spider.

Right. Only it's not a spider.

It's a tiny microphone

'with a built-in super power
transmitter.'

Exactly. I'm going
to take it..

...and drop it
in the Penguin's shop.

We'll listen in
to his crooked scheming.

It's a great idea, Batman, but..

...how'll you get away
with planting it?

Won't he be
on guard against you?

Of course. He'll be
on guard against Batman.

That's why I'm going to visit
his shop as Bruce Wayne.

Good day, sir.
Can I help you, sir?

- I hope so, Mr. Bird.
- Mm-hmm.

I'm looking for an artisan

to repair this
fine old umbrella.

It belonged to my late father.

Oh, yes, quality goods,
I can tell at a glance.

Just let me study it
for a moment, please.

Oh, please. By all means.

[alarm blaring]

Well, it's fortunate
that I equipped my shop

with an automatic
anti-bugging machine.

- Who is he, Boss?
- I have no idea.

Some rival
umbrella king, perhaps.

Trying to steal
my precious secrets.

It's a clear case
of industrial espionage.

Why, the wretched,
blundering fool.

See this.

But whoever he is,
one thing is certain.

I can't afford to have him
snooping around here today.

Today of all days

when I'm about to deal Batman
his greatest blow.

The river, boss?

No, the furnace.

The tempering furnace.

Where we forge
the umbrella ribs.

Take him away,
my fine feathered finks.

And arrange a fatal accident.

Without witnesses.

Pull the net down
real tight.

Done.

- Ain't it a shame?
- Ain't what a shame?

Ain't it a shame
it ain't the Batman.

[chuckles]

[intense music]

Oh, the irony of it.

The horror!

The flaming end
of the caped crusader.

Can Bruce possibly escape?

For Batman's sake!

Keep your bat fingers crossed
until tomorrow.

Same time! Same channel!

[theme music]

� Batman �

� Batman �

� Batman �

� Batman �

� Batman �

� Batman �

� Batman �

� Batman �

� Batman �

� Batman �

� Na na na na na na na na �

� Batman ��