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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,423 --> 00:00:06,597 Yossarian: Help! 2 00:00:09,603 --> 00:00:11,189 Hello? 3 00:00:17,619 --> 00:00:19,080 My balls. 4 00:00:25,050 --> 00:00:27,096 Sweet Jesus. 5 00:00:29,685 --> 00:00:36,699 6 00:00:45,465 --> 00:00:52,229 7 00:00:54,776 --> 00:01:00,495 8 00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:09,598 9 00:01:22,122 --> 00:01:24,085 Hello? 10 00:01:42,831 --> 00:01:45,127 Hello? 11 00:01:53,686 --> 00:01:55,940 Hello? 12 00:02:33,389 --> 00:02:35,435 Yossarian:. 13 00:02:37,314 --> 00:02:40,278 What? 14 00:02:44,245 --> 00:02:46,123 Christ. 15 00:02:46,123 --> 00:02:48,712 Fuck. 16 00:02:52,512 --> 00:02:54,808 God. 17 00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,770 How-- how bad is it, doc? 18 00:02:58,524 --> 00:03:01,530 Va bene. 19 00:03:01,530 --> 00:03:03,324 Hai perso molto sange. 20 00:03:03,324 --> 00:03:05,538 - Sorry, what? 21 00:03:05,538 --> 00:03:07,416 Have I lost my balls? 22 00:03:07,416 --> 00:03:08,711 - Dovrei cucirlo. 23 00:03:08,711 --> 00:03:11,048 I--i don't understand you. 24 00:03:11,048 --> 00:03:13,094 Do you speak english? 25 00:03:13,094 --> 00:03:14,263 Inglese? 26 00:03:14,263 --> 00:03:15,307 - No, no, italiano. 27 00:03:15,307 --> 00:03:17,227 No, inglese. 28 00:03:17,227 --> 00:03:18,689 Both: No, no. 29 00:03:18,689 --> 00:03:20,568 - Inglese? no? 30 00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:23,489 No? Christ. 31 00:03:23,489 --> 00:03:25,076 Um... 32 00:03:25,076 --> 00:03:28,876 Hey, can-- can I... 33 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,130 Hey, doc, you see this? 34 00:03:31,130 --> 00:03:33,927 Uno. 35 00:03:33,927 --> 00:03:37,560 Due. 36 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,146 Down here. 37 00:03:39,146 --> 00:03:41,192 Due? 38 00:03:41,192 --> 00:03:42,277 - Si, si. 39 00:03:42,277 --> 00:03:43,363 Due. 40 00:03:43,363 --> 00:03:44,741 - Due? two? Two? 41 00:03:44,741 --> 00:03:46,369 I-- I've got due balls? - Si. 42 00:03:46,369 --> 00:03:48,122 Due testicoli, certo. 43 00:03:48,122 --> 00:03:49,918 - God, thank Christ. 44 00:03:49,918 --> 00:03:53,049 Thank god. I've got two. 45 00:03:53,049 --> 00:03:55,053 Due. all: Due. 46 00:03:55,053 --> 00:03:57,265 Due balls! 47 00:03:57,265 --> 00:03:59,646 I got due! 48 00:04:00,815 --> 00:04:02,359 Yeah, okay, sure. 49 00:04:02,359 --> 00:04:04,321 You do-- do whatever you gotta do, doc. 50 00:04:05,365 --> 00:04:07,704 - Due. 51 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,632 Christ! 52 00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:28,662 53 00:04:28,662 --> 00:04:31,710 Man: Hey! 54 00:04:34,465 --> 00:04:39,391 55 00:04:39,391 --> 00:04:41,395 Woman: Bravo! 56 00:04:43,859 --> 00:04:47,282 Yossarian: Hi, hi. 57 00:04:50,371 --> 00:04:52,668 Christ. 58 00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:55,215 Thank you, thanks. 59 00:04:58,221 --> 00:05:01,520 60 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,524 Cheers, thank you for having me. 61 00:05:06,403 --> 00:05:08,491 Spaghetti's coming. My god. 62 00:05:10,746 --> 00:05:12,249 Christ, thank you. 63 00:05:12,249 --> 00:05:14,378 Thank you. 64 00:05:14,378 --> 00:05:16,591 That's wonderful. 65 00:05:16,591 --> 00:05:19,388 66 00:05:19,388 --> 00:05:21,392 Man: Salute, salute! 67 00:05:23,939 --> 00:05:25,693 Yossarian: Cheers. 68 00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:27,362 Salute. 69 00:05:27,362 --> 00:05:34,334 70 00:05:59,969 --> 00:06:01,430 Buongiorno. 71 00:06:01,430 --> 00:06:03,852 Woman: Buongiorno, signore. 72 00:06:03,852 --> 00:06:09,739 73 00:06:09,739 --> 00:06:11,618 - Buongiorno. 74 00:06:11,618 --> 00:06:15,124 Buongiorno. 75 00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,630 76 00:06:20,093 --> 00:06:22,472 Yossarian: So what is that? 77 00:06:25,478 --> 00:06:32,492 78 00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:35,833 I just want to know how far it is to the pasture. 79 00:06:37,335 --> 00:06:39,131 Yossarian: No, not too far. Okay, good. 80 00:06:39,131 --> 00:06:41,845 Yossarian: 'Cause I might collapse. 81 00:06:45,602 --> 00:06:46,938 Yossarian: If you wanted to, that'd be fine. 82 00:06:46,938 --> 00:06:49,443 But I'm not pressuring you or anything. 83 00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:51,321 Yeah, yeah, I'm-- I'm American. 84 00:06:51,321 --> 00:06:54,579 Yeah, everything about me... 85 00:06:54,579 --> 00:06:56,624 Is that a bird? 86 00:06:59,129 --> 00:07:01,435 - What? I-- I don't understand what you're saying. 87 00:07:01,435 --> 00:07:03,387 - Shh! - Shh. 88 00:07:08,690 --> 00:07:15,704 89 00:07:28,980 --> 00:07:33,030 90 00:07:33,030 --> 00:07:34,992 - Ciao, yo-yo. Buongiorno. 91 00:07:34,992 --> 00:07:37,497 - Buongiorno, silvio. 92 00:07:37,497 --> 00:07:41,004 93 00:07:55,324 --> 00:08:02,338 94 00:08:55,027 --> 00:08:56,405 - Are you an American? 95 00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:58,952 No, no inglese. 96 00:08:58,952 --> 00:09:02,083 No inglese. Italiano. 97 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,630 - Is this the American? - Si, si, americano. 98 00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:05,757 - No. 99 00:09:05,757 --> 00:09:07,886 Mamma, nonna, per favore! 100 00:09:07,886 --> 00:09:10,809 - Si, si! Americano, americano. 101 00:09:10,809 --> 00:09:12,855 - Yossarian. 102 00:09:15,611 --> 00:09:17,740 - No. 103 00:09:24,377 --> 00:09:26,716 Scheisskopf: Seven inch swing, four inch gap. 104 00:09:26,716 --> 00:09:28,928 Why is that so hard? 105 00:09:28,928 --> 00:09:30,181 Then we look tight! 106 00:09:30,181 --> 00:09:32,268 Then we look fierce! 107 00:09:32,268 --> 00:09:35,817 Then we stand out from all the goddamn free-swinging arms 108 00:09:35,817 --> 00:09:38,489 that seem to be the goddamn fashion these days! 109 00:09:40,619 --> 00:09:43,541 You goddamn spastics think I'm gonna let you 110 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:47,966 prance around here like a busby Berkeley chorus line, 111 00:09:47,966 --> 00:09:50,429 then you've got another thing coming to you. 112 00:09:53,853 --> 00:09:56,441 Daneeka: All right, let's have a look at these nuts. 113 00:09:56,441 --> 00:10:00,116 - You're gonna need to skootch and lift. 114 00:10:00,116 --> 00:10:02,245 - Okay. 115 00:10:14,477 --> 00:10:16,314 - Sorry, it's just a little dried blood. 116 00:10:18,402 --> 00:10:20,448 Okay. 117 00:10:20,448 --> 00:10:23,538 Daneeka: All right, let's have a look at these. 118 00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,919 Now, John, it looks like 119 00:10:26,919 --> 00:10:29,550 this piece of flak went... 120 00:10:29,550 --> 00:10:31,136 Right between your thighs. 121 00:10:31,136 --> 00:10:33,474 It missed your left testicle, it missed your right testicle, 122 00:10:33,474 --> 00:10:35,604 and it split the soft tissue of your scrotum 123 00:10:35,604 --> 00:10:37,524 right between your testicles. 124 00:10:37,524 --> 00:10:39,444 And that is what we call spectacular luck. 125 00:10:39,444 --> 00:10:41,239 - So can I go home now? 126 00:10:41,239 --> 00:10:43,118 Is it that kind of spectacular luck? 127 00:10:43,118 --> 00:10:44,900 Daneeka: You came so close. 128 00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:47,460 Now, if you lose a testicle for your country, 129 00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:48,630 of course you get to go home. 130 00:10:48,630 --> 00:10:49,757 But you? 131 00:10:49,757 --> 00:10:52,053 You only almost lost a testicle. 132 00:10:52,053 --> 00:10:53,347 You see the difference? 133 00:10:53,347 --> 00:10:55,226 The best I can do for an almost-lost testicle 134 00:10:55,226 --> 00:10:56,729 is just to keep you here while it's healing. 135 00:10:56,729 --> 00:10:58,733 Of course, while it's healing, 136 00:10:58,733 --> 00:11:00,737 the number of missions you have to flying keeps rising. 137 00:11:00,737 --> 00:11:02,658 Which means the longer you're here, 138 00:11:02,658 --> 00:11:04,327 the further away you get from going home. 139 00:11:04,327 --> 00:11:06,498 But you already know that. 140 00:11:06,498 --> 00:11:09,128 All right, nurse, I'll leave you to it. 141 00:11:13,011 --> 00:11:15,809 - Spectacular luck? 142 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:19,482 - I'm the luckiest guy in the world. 143 00:11:19,482 --> 00:11:21,904 - Who knew it was as simple as one testicle? 144 00:11:21,904 --> 00:11:24,660 We probably could have arranged for that months ago. 145 00:11:25,871 --> 00:11:28,208 - I like the way you think. 146 00:11:31,966 --> 00:11:34,930 Marion: What time do you ship out? 147 00:11:34,930 --> 00:11:36,308 6:00 a. M. 148 00:11:36,308 --> 00:11:38,103 - That's ghastly. 149 00:11:38,103 --> 00:11:39,188 - It is. 150 00:11:39,188 --> 00:11:42,111 It's ghastly, all right. 151 00:11:42,111 --> 00:11:44,950 - Well, I'd tell you I'm gonna miss you, but I probably won't. 152 00:11:44,950 --> 00:11:47,371 - You're gonna miss me a lot more than I'm gonna miss you. 153 00:11:47,371 --> 00:11:50,377 - I doubt it. 154 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,964 - Do you wanna put money on it? 155 00:11:51,964 --> 00:11:53,425 - Sure. 156 00:11:53,425 --> 00:11:55,639 $5. 157 00:11:55,639 --> 00:11:57,391 - What? - $5. 158 00:11:57,391 --> 00:11:58,561 What are you, cheap? 159 00:11:58,561 --> 00:12:00,982 100. - I'm not putting $100. 160 00:12:00,982 --> 00:12:03,320 You don't have $100. - I won't need it. 161 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:04,949 - Yes, you will. - No. 162 00:12:04,949 --> 00:12:07,328 You're silly. 163 00:12:07,328 --> 00:12:09,667 Yossarian: No, I'm not. 164 00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:26,449 I like the way your neck smells. 165 00:12:27,911 --> 00:12:29,080 Marion:. 166 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:32,754 Yossarian: I like the way your hair smells. 167 00:12:34,007 --> 00:12:36,804 I like the way your shoulders smell. 168 00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:49,663 - Better start saving your pennies. 169 00:12:57,011 --> 00:12:58,639 Lorenzo: Buongiorno, mister yo-yo. 170 00:12:58,639 --> 00:13:00,100 We have a gift for you! - Hey, fellas. 171 00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:01,144 What's the rumpus? 172 00:13:01,144 --> 00:13:02,438 Lorenzo: Is from, mister Milo. 173 00:13:02,438 --> 00:13:04,233 - Is he back? I need to talk to him. 174 00:13:04,233 --> 00:13:06,237 - No, no. Mister Milo in Togo. 175 00:13:06,237 --> 00:13:07,364 - When is he back? 176 00:13:07,364 --> 00:13:08,951 - Sabato. - Saturday. 177 00:13:08,951 --> 00:13:10,287 - Well, can you get him on the radio? 178 00:13:10,287 --> 00:13:12,041 I need to talk to him. He offered me a job. 179 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:14,045 I said no, but now I think I need to say yes. 180 00:13:14,045 --> 00:13:15,965 - No, no, he on a ship. 181 00:13:15,965 --> 00:13:18,095 He send you this. 182 00:13:18,095 --> 00:13:20,725 This for your testicolo. 183 00:13:20,725 --> 00:13:23,606 - Is very big room. 184 00:13:23,606 --> 00:13:25,109 - For testicolo, no? 185 00:13:25,109 --> 00:13:27,196 Leonardo: Yes, because no want... 186 00:13:27,196 --> 00:13:28,658 ...is very bad. 187 00:13:28,658 --> 00:13:30,537 - For your balls. 188 00:13:33,543 --> 00:13:40,557 189 00:13:50,284 --> 00:13:52,831 Over here, tootsie! 190 00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:55,168 191 00:13:57,966 --> 00:14:00,805 Nice pants! 192 00:14:02,474 --> 00:14:09,322 193 00:14:09,322 --> 00:14:10,365 - I'm told this is cathcart's office now. 194 00:14:10,365 --> 00:14:12,036 - Yes, sir. 195 00:14:12,036 --> 00:14:13,706 - Where's major major gone? Towser: He's in there, too, sir. 196 00:14:13,706 --> 00:14:15,459 - They're in there together? Towser: Yes, sir. 197 00:14:15,459 --> 00:14:17,171 - Can I go in? - That depends. 198 00:14:17,171 --> 00:14:20,595 Yossarian: Depends on what? - Depends on who you're here to see. 199 00:14:20,595 --> 00:14:23,099 - Cathcart? - Fine. 200 00:14:23,099 --> 00:14:24,937 Cathcart: I told you, the deal's off, yossarian. 201 00:14:24,937 --> 00:14:26,649 Yossarian: I know the deal's off. Hiya, major. 202 00:14:26,649 --> 00:14:28,026 - Hi, yossarian. - How you been? 203 00:14:28,026 --> 00:14:29,037 - Pretty swell. 204 00:14:29,037 --> 00:14:32,284 - Well, then what is it that you want? - I want to go home. You owe me. 205 00:14:32,284 --> 00:14:33,955 - I just told you the deal is off. 206 00:14:33,955 --> 00:14:35,415 Scheisskopf saw to that. You were there. 207 00:14:35,415 --> 00:14:37,419 - But I didn't make the deal with scheisskopf, 208 00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:39,967 I made it with you! - And he unmade it. My hands are tied. 209 00:14:39,967 --> 00:14:42,221 - I've had my balls blown off. 210 00:14:42,221 --> 00:14:43,599 I want you to send me home. 211 00:14:43,599 --> 00:14:44,810 - I can't. 212 00:14:44,810 --> 00:14:46,062 - What do you mean you can't? 213 00:14:46,062 --> 00:14:47,857 Yes, you can! Cathcart: I mean that I can't. 214 00:14:47,857 --> 00:14:49,569 I'd like to, believe me. 215 00:14:49,569 --> 00:14:51,699 I'd like to see you gone from here as much as you would. 216 00:14:51,699 --> 00:14:53,577 - Then do it! Cathcart: I can't, son. 217 00:14:53,577 --> 00:14:55,540 - You mean to tell me that you don't have the authority 218 00:14:55,540 --> 00:14:56,834 to send people home? 219 00:14:56,834 --> 00:14:58,086 - I have the authority to send people home, 220 00:14:58,086 --> 00:14:59,548 I just can't send you home. 221 00:14:59,548 --> 00:15:02,052 I am under strict instructions not to send you home 222 00:15:02,052 --> 00:15:03,388 without his prior approval. 223 00:15:03,388 --> 00:15:05,183 - He actually said that? Cathcart: He did. 224 00:15:05,183 --> 00:15:06,854 - But I've had my balls blown off! 225 00:15:06,854 --> 00:15:08,941 What more does it take? This is a medical emergency. 226 00:15:08,941 --> 00:15:10,360 - Well, if it's a medical emergency, 227 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:11,905 I suggest you go talk to doc daneeka. 228 00:15:11,905 --> 00:15:15,037 Do I look like a ball doctor to you? 229 00:15:15,037 --> 00:15:16,080 - You understand? - Yes, sir. 230 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:17,291 - That's two doses every two hours. 231 00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:19,921 Both: Okay. - Doc, hey, I need your help. 232 00:15:19,921 --> 00:15:21,675 You gotta tell scheisskopf that I've had my balls blown off. 233 00:15:21,675 --> 00:15:23,053 - But you haven't had your balls blown off. 234 00:15:23,053 --> 00:15:24,305 - Doesn't matter. 235 00:15:24,305 --> 00:15:25,683 He needs to think that they've been blown off. 236 00:15:25,683 --> 00:15:27,061 - You're asking me to lie to a guy 237 00:15:27,061 --> 00:15:28,229 that we both know is trouble. 238 00:15:28,229 --> 00:15:29,608 - No, I'm not asking you to lie. 239 00:15:29,608 --> 00:15:31,653 I'm asking you to use your imagination. 240 00:15:31,653 --> 00:15:35,035 You know that if I stay here, scheisskopf is gonna fuck me. 241 00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:37,289 I've lost all my friends. 242 00:15:37,289 --> 00:15:39,878 I've flown more missions than anybody on this base, 243 00:15:39,878 --> 00:15:42,424 and every time I get close to reaching the quota 244 00:15:42,424 --> 00:15:44,888 they raise it on me to fuck me. 245 00:15:44,888 --> 00:15:47,434 I can't do this anymore. 246 00:15:47,434 --> 00:15:50,023 I get that you couldn't ground me for insanity. 247 00:15:50,023 --> 00:15:52,444 I get that you couldn't ground me for liver problems 248 00:15:52,444 --> 00:15:54,950 that never existed, but now I finally have 249 00:15:54,950 --> 00:15:57,789 a legitimate, actual medical complaint. 250 00:15:57,789 --> 00:16:00,962 And you promised to help me when it counted. 251 00:16:00,962 --> 00:16:02,674 I'm not asking you to lie. 252 00:16:02,674 --> 00:16:05,345 I'm asking you to be a doctor. 253 00:16:09,311 --> 00:16:11,274 Daneeka: Sir, captain yossarian suffered 254 00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:12,944 a catastrophic testicular infarction. 255 00:16:12,944 --> 00:16:14,113 - A what? 256 00:16:14,113 --> 00:16:16,523 - A catastrophic testicular infarction. - What the hell is that? 257 00:16:16,523 --> 00:16:19,583 - Well, sir, it's a soft tissue trauma to the scrotal sack. 258 00:16:19,583 --> 00:16:20,751 - And? 259 00:16:20,751 --> 00:16:22,589 - And I believe captain yossarian 260 00:16:22,589 --> 00:16:23,924 should be sent home. 261 00:16:23,924 --> 00:16:25,135 - It's that bad? 262 00:16:25,135 --> 00:16:28,099 - He may never have children. 263 00:16:28,099 --> 00:16:30,020 - You're saying he's had his balls blown off. 264 00:16:30,020 --> 00:16:31,480 - Approximately, sir. 265 00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:34,320 I don't know, doc. 266 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,740 If I'd had my balls blown off, 267 00:16:35,740 --> 00:16:37,952 I can't imagine I'd be standing there just like that. 268 00:16:37,952 --> 00:16:39,789 And at attention, no less. 269 00:16:39,789 --> 00:16:42,921 - Well, he's heavily medicated right now, sir. 270 00:16:42,921 --> 00:16:44,966 - I want to see. 271 00:16:44,966 --> 00:16:46,553 Excuse me, sir? 272 00:16:46,553 --> 00:16:48,056 - I want to see. 273 00:16:48,056 --> 00:16:50,561 I wanna understand this... 274 00:16:50,561 --> 00:16:52,732 "Infarction." 275 00:16:52,732 --> 00:16:54,026 Drop your pants, soldier. 276 00:16:54,026 --> 00:16:55,696 - I-I'm not sure that's such a good idea, sir. 277 00:16:55,696 --> 00:16:57,199 He-- he's very tender down there. 278 00:16:57,199 --> 00:16:58,409 - I want to see. 279 00:16:58,409 --> 00:17:00,581 Drop your pants, soldier. 280 00:17:12,104 --> 00:17:14,316 Take the bandage off. 281 00:17:44,126 --> 00:17:47,090 - I'm counting two testicles down here, doc. 282 00:17:49,053 --> 00:17:51,516 I want these stitches out, god damn it. 283 00:17:51,516 --> 00:17:54,021 I want this nut sack back in the air flying missions 284 00:17:54,021 --> 00:17:56,693 and serving his country like everybody else, god damn it. 285 00:17:56,693 --> 00:17:59,658 Hike up your pants, soldier! 286 00:18:11,848 --> 00:18:13,393 - Who are you? 287 00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:15,480 - I'm nurse cramer. 288 00:18:18,069 --> 00:18:20,700 Is sue Anne not working today? 289 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:23,580 - Nurse duckett's gone. 290 00:18:24,999 --> 00:18:26,419 - Where? 291 00:18:26,419 --> 00:18:28,590 Gone home. 292 00:18:30,135 --> 00:18:31,847 - To the nurses' quarters? 293 00:18:31,847 --> 00:18:34,978 - She's gone home. Her tour finished. 294 00:18:38,861 --> 00:18:40,155 - When? 295 00:18:40,155 --> 00:18:42,367 - She left this morning. 296 00:18:47,962 --> 00:18:49,549 - She didn't say anything. 297 00:18:49,549 --> 00:18:51,010 Cramer: We treat a lot of soldiers here. 298 00:18:51,010 --> 00:18:53,557 She's not about to say goodbye to all of them. 299 00:18:53,557 --> 00:18:57,063 All right, let's have a look at these testicles. 300 00:18:59,318 --> 00:19:01,113 Okay. 301 00:19:01,113 --> 00:19:04,244 Looks like you're good to go. 302 00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:08,002 303 00:19:11,008 --> 00:19:18,022 304 00:19:41,068 --> 00:19:43,114 Sorry, sir. 305 00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:47,163 - What's your name? - Snowden, sir. 306 00:19:47,163 --> 00:19:49,919 Yossarian: What's your first name? - Christopher, sir. 307 00:19:49,919 --> 00:19:52,800 - I'm John. 308 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,556 This your first mission? 309 00:19:55,556 --> 00:19:57,392 - Yes, sir. 310 00:19:57,392 --> 00:20:00,481 It's-- it's my first mission. 311 00:20:01,610 --> 00:20:04,114 Take a breath, son. 312 00:20:06,745 --> 00:20:09,249 - You're gonna be fine. 313 00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:11,420 Okay? 314 00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:13,634 Let's go, it'll be fun. 315 00:20:13,634 --> 00:20:16,138 - Yes, sir. 316 00:20:33,005 --> 00:20:35,636 - Hey, where you going? 317 00:20:37,807 --> 00:20:39,644 - I-- I'm a tail gunner. 318 00:20:39,644 --> 00:20:41,815 - There's nothing to shoot at. 319 00:20:41,815 --> 00:20:44,654 There's no Germans in the air. It's just us. 320 00:20:44,654 --> 00:20:46,365 Have a seat by that window over there. 321 00:20:46,365 --> 00:20:48,537 You'll be all right. 322 00:20:50,373 --> 00:20:52,252 Just stay out of that tail. 323 00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:54,507 - Yes, sir. 324 00:21:10,873 --> 00:21:12,752 Aarfy: Coming up on two minutes out. 325 00:21:15,591 --> 00:21:18,012 We're at 4,000 feet. 326 00:21:20,475 --> 00:21:21,895 See the target on the left? 327 00:21:21,895 --> 00:21:23,690 You see that? 328 00:21:25,986 --> 00:21:28,700 I got it. 329 00:21:31,706 --> 00:21:38,094 330 00:21:38,094 --> 00:21:40,223 - Here we go. 331 00:21:40,223 --> 00:21:41,851 Aarfy: Holding steady. 332 00:21:41,851 --> 00:21:43,855 Are you lined up, yossarian? 333 00:21:43,855 --> 00:21:45,651 Yossarian: Yes, I'm fucking lined up. 334 00:21:45,651 --> 00:21:47,487 Aarfy: That's the wrong bridge. 335 00:21:52,915 --> 00:21:55,086 - Hey, what happened back there? Aarfy: The right engine is hit! 336 00:21:55,086 --> 00:21:56,506 We're hit! Co-pilot: Help him! 337 00:21:56,506 --> 00:21:57,758 Pilot: Cut the fuel! Co-pilot: Help him! 338 00:21:57,758 --> 00:21:58,969 Pilot: Cutting the fuel! Co-pilot: Help him! 339 00:21:58,969 --> 00:22:00,931 - Help who? Co-pilot: The bombardier! 340 00:22:00,931 --> 00:22:02,183 Help him! 341 00:22:02,183 --> 00:22:03,895 Help the bombardier! 342 00:22:03,895 --> 00:22:05,481 - I'm the bombardier! 343 00:22:05,481 --> 00:22:07,110 Co-pilot: Then help him! 344 00:22:07,110 --> 00:22:08,487 Help him! - Help who? 345 00:22:08,487 --> 00:22:10,449 Who is this? Co-pilot: The side gunner! 346 00:22:10,449 --> 00:22:12,036 The kid! The new kid! 347 00:22:12,036 --> 00:22:14,499 Help him! 348 00:22:14,499 --> 00:22:18,007 349 00:22:18,007 --> 00:22:19,594 Aarfy: Where the hell you going? 350 00:22:25,606 --> 00:22:29,154 351 00:22:29,154 --> 00:22:31,116 Yossarian: Okay, okay. 352 00:22:31,116 --> 00:22:33,162 353 00:22:33,162 --> 00:22:35,249 - I'm cold. 354 00:22:35,249 --> 00:22:37,671 355 00:22:37,671 --> 00:22:41,053 - You're gonna be all right, okay? 356 00:22:41,053 --> 00:22:43,224 You're gonna be all right. 357 00:22:43,224 --> 00:22:46,648 358 00:22:49,904 --> 00:22:51,991 Okay. Shit. 359 00:22:51,991 --> 00:22:53,494 Shit. 360 00:22:53,494 --> 00:22:54,956 - I'm cold. 361 00:22:54,956 --> 00:22:57,293 - Well, we're gonna get you warm. 362 00:22:59,214 --> 00:23:00,299 Yossarian: Okay. 363 00:23:00,299 --> 00:23:02,805 Okay, look... 364 00:23:02,805 --> 00:23:05,769 It's ugly, kid, but it's not as ugly as it looks. 365 00:23:05,769 --> 00:23:07,856 There's no arteries cut, so you're not gonna die. 366 00:23:07,856 --> 00:23:09,150 - But I'm cold. 367 00:23:09,150 --> 00:23:11,280 Yossarian: Well, that's a good sign, you know? 368 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:14,035 It's a sign that your body... 369 00:23:14,035 --> 00:23:16,958 Is responding properly... 370 00:23:16,958 --> 00:23:20,632 And it's sending the warmth to your leg. 371 00:23:20,632 --> 00:23:23,137 But your brain doesn't know. 372 00:23:23,137 --> 00:23:25,433 Okay. 373 00:23:25,433 --> 00:23:26,853 Keep that there. Snowden: 374 00:23:26,853 --> 00:23:29,357 - It's all right. That's all right. 375 00:23:29,357 --> 00:23:32,447 - What did you say your name was? 376 00:23:32,447 --> 00:23:34,367 - It's John. 377 00:23:34,367 --> 00:23:36,038 John yossarian. 378 00:23:36,038 --> 00:23:38,167 - John yossarian. 379 00:23:38,167 --> 00:23:43,052 380 00:23:43,052 --> 00:23:45,389 - Okay, look at me, okay? 381 00:23:45,389 --> 00:23:48,479 Fuck. 382 00:23:48,479 --> 00:23:51,276 Hey, can somebody help me here? 383 00:23:51,276 --> 00:23:54,240 384 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,704 This is a good bandage, okay? 385 00:23:56,704 --> 00:23:58,917 It's gonna get you home safe. 386 00:24:01,923 --> 00:24:03,384 387 00:24:03,384 --> 00:24:04,929 My-- my dad's a dentist. 388 00:24:04,929 --> 00:24:06,181 Yossarian: Yeah, I knew it. 389 00:24:06,181 --> 00:24:09,312 And he's gonna be glad to have you back, right? 390 00:24:09,312 --> 00:24:11,108 Just look at me. Look at me. 391 00:24:11,108 --> 00:24:13,655 When I get you back on land, 392 00:24:13,655 --> 00:24:16,619 doc daneeka's gonna make you right as rain. 393 00:24:16,619 --> 00:24:18,372 394 00:24:18,372 --> 00:24:20,292 - Okay. 395 00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:23,257 - Come here, let's get you up. 396 00:24:23,257 --> 00:24:24,593 Okay, come on. Let's get you up. 397 00:24:25,679 --> 00:24:29,436 398 00:24:29,436 --> 00:24:32,818 Shit. 399 00:24:32,818 --> 00:24:34,822 Shit. 400 00:24:40,834 --> 00:24:42,211 401 00:24:42,211 --> 00:24:45,259 - Look at me. 402 00:24:51,146 --> 00:24:52,398 Fuck. 403 00:24:52,398 --> 00:24:54,820 Okay, okay. 404 00:24:54,820 --> 00:24:57,576 Okay, okay, okay. 405 00:24:57,576 --> 00:24:59,622 Your eyes-- 406 00:24:59,622 --> 00:25:01,208 keep your eyes right on me. 407 00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:02,503 Okay, all right. 408 00:25:02,503 --> 00:25:05,174 Okay, now. Now... 409 00:25:05,174 --> 00:25:06,636 We just gotta get you comfortable. 410 00:25:06,636 --> 00:25:08,640 - Okay. - Okay? 411 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,434 Okay, get you comfortable. 412 00:25:10,434 --> 00:25:11,646 Nice and comfortable. 413 00:25:11,646 --> 00:25:13,482 414 00:25:13,482 --> 00:25:15,444 Get you nice and comfortable. 415 00:25:15,444 --> 00:25:17,574 Okay. Nice and easy. 416 00:25:17,574 --> 00:25:20,162 Nice and easy. 417 00:25:20,162 --> 00:25:24,922 418 00:25:27,928 --> 00:25:30,517 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 419 00:25:30,517 --> 00:25:33,105 420 00:25:33,105 --> 00:25:35,401 I'm sorry. 421 00:25:35,401 --> 00:25:37,573 I'm sorry. 422 00:25:37,573 --> 00:25:44,587 423 00:26:56,647 --> 00:27:03,661 424 00:27:15,100 --> 00:27:22,114 425 00:29:01,647 --> 00:29:04,485 Chaplain: Yossarian. 426 00:29:04,485 --> 00:29:05,863 You okay? 427 00:29:05,863 --> 00:29:07,951 - Hi, chaplain. 428 00:29:07,951 --> 00:29:09,286 I'm fine. 429 00:29:09,286 --> 00:29:10,873 We had a hairy run and we lost a man, 430 00:29:10,873 --> 00:29:13,671 but other than that I'm fine. 431 00:29:13,671 --> 00:29:16,384 - You're covered in blood. 432 00:29:16,384 --> 00:29:19,223 - It's not mine. 433 00:29:19,223 --> 00:29:22,271 - Do you want-- can I... Get you some clothes? 434 00:29:22,271 --> 00:29:24,483 - No, I'm fine. Thanks. 435 00:29:24,483 --> 00:29:26,530 How are you? 436 00:29:26,530 --> 00:29:28,283 - I'm... 437 00:29:28,283 --> 00:29:29,452 I'm fine, I'm-- I'm good. 438 00:29:29,452 --> 00:29:31,707 That's good. 439 00:29:33,084 --> 00:29:35,046 - Who did you lose? 440 00:29:35,046 --> 00:29:37,134 - He was a new kid. 441 00:29:37,134 --> 00:29:40,265 You might not have known him yet. 442 00:29:42,227 --> 00:29:43,856 - Where are you off to? 443 00:29:43,856 --> 00:29:46,862 - I'm heading home. 444 00:29:46,862 --> 00:29:48,783 - Can I get you anything? 445 00:29:48,783 --> 00:29:51,245 - No, thank you. 446 00:30:30,575 --> 00:30:34,791 Chaplain: None of us can say we really knew Christopher... 447 00:30:34,791 --> 00:30:38,716 But we know the kind of boy he was: 448 00:30:38,716 --> 00:30:41,972 A boy willing to put himself in the path of danger... 449 00:30:43,474 --> 00:30:46,355 A boy barely out of school, 450 00:30:46,355 --> 00:30:51,032 willing to leave his family and all that the held dear, 451 00:30:51,032 --> 00:30:53,077 all that was safe, 452 00:30:53,077 --> 00:30:55,708 all that was familiar... 453 00:30:57,754 --> 00:30:59,381 To come to a place 454 00:30:59,381 --> 00:31:02,262 where those things would seem like a dream, 455 00:31:04,224 --> 00:31:07,732 for there was a bigger dream 456 00:31:07,732 --> 00:31:10,487 to liberate a world beset by darkness. 457 00:31:13,326 --> 00:31:15,915 Christopher snowden shared that dream... 458 00:31:18,127 --> 00:31:21,677 With all of us. 459 00:31:21,677 --> 00:31:24,849 When I came here, I knew this would be one of my duties. 460 00:31:24,849 --> 00:31:26,937 This... 461 00:31:28,481 --> 00:31:32,657 But nobody really dies here. 462 00:31:32,657 --> 00:31:35,328 They just vanish, they... 463 00:31:36,748 --> 00:31:39,336 They vanish into the sky. 464 00:31:41,675 --> 00:31:43,846 So I do services. 465 00:31:43,846 --> 00:31:45,975 Not burials... 466 00:31:45,975 --> 00:31:47,895 Services. 467 00:31:49,148 --> 00:31:50,985 But thankfully, not today. 468 00:31:50,985 --> 00:31:53,072 We'll keep Christopher snowden here. 469 00:31:53,072 --> 00:31:55,035 We'll know where he is. We'll know where to find him. 470 00:31:55,035 --> 00:31:57,749 We'll lament that the life he lived 471 00:31:57,749 --> 00:31:59,919 did not turn out to be the life he should have lived. 472 00:31:59,919 --> 00:32:01,715 He was 18. 473 00:32:01,715 --> 00:32:05,013 He didn't get to know the love of a wife or children. 474 00:32:05,013 --> 00:32:08,478 That they loved him; They longed for his return 475 00:32:08,478 --> 00:32:11,902 just as he longs for them. 476 00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,124 Nevertheless, he was greatly loved, 477 00:32:19,124 --> 00:32:21,128 and will be... 478 00:32:21,128 --> 00:32:22,507 Greatly missed. 479 00:32:22,507 --> 00:32:25,178 Let us pray for his parents, Raymond and Elizabeth. 480 00:32:25,178 --> 00:32:26,305 Milo: Hey. 481 00:32:26,305 --> 00:32:27,767 What are you doing in a tree? 482 00:32:27,767 --> 00:32:29,436 - Hiya, Milo. 483 00:32:29,436 --> 00:32:31,107 Milo: Can I come up? 484 00:32:34,029 --> 00:32:35,991 I heard about your protest. 485 00:32:35,991 --> 00:32:37,410 Good for you. 486 00:32:37,410 --> 00:32:38,580 - This isn't a protest. 487 00:32:38,580 --> 00:32:41,753 - Well, good for you. 488 00:32:43,297 --> 00:32:45,678 Whose funeral? 489 00:32:45,678 --> 00:32:46,888 Yossarian: They're burying that kid 490 00:32:46,888 --> 00:32:49,644 that got killed in my plane the other day. 491 00:32:49,644 --> 00:32:51,188 Milo: What happened to him? 492 00:32:51,188 --> 00:32:53,527 - He got killed. 493 00:32:56,407 --> 00:32:59,371 - I heard your deal with cathcart fell through. 494 00:32:59,371 --> 00:33:01,835 You're not going home. 495 00:33:06,468 --> 00:33:08,264 Did you hear about orr? 496 00:33:08,264 --> 00:33:10,895 He turned up in Sweden. 497 00:33:15,111 --> 00:33:16,322 - His body? 498 00:33:16,322 --> 00:33:18,869 - No, alive and well. 499 00:33:18,869 --> 00:33:21,498 Apparently he rode there. 500 00:33:21,498 --> 00:33:25,131 I don't know; They're saying that's what he did. 501 00:33:25,131 --> 00:33:27,177 - Who's saying? Where did you hear this? 502 00:33:27,177 --> 00:33:28,429 - Somebody heard from somebody. 503 00:33:28,429 --> 00:33:29,682 They're all talking about it down there. 504 00:33:29,682 --> 00:33:30,726 If you weren't running around naked 505 00:33:30,726 --> 00:33:33,941 you might have heard it, too. 506 00:33:33,941 --> 00:33:37,197 - Hey, good for him. 507 00:33:41,121 --> 00:33:44,545 It's gonna be all right. 508 00:33:44,545 --> 00:33:46,508 - Hey. 509 00:33:46,508 --> 00:33:48,219 Hey, where you going? 510 00:33:50,181 --> 00:33:53,605 Hey, you're gonna come work with me, right? 511 00:33:53,605 --> 00:33:56,987 We'd be unstoppable! 512 00:33:56,987 --> 00:34:00,536 Scheisskopf: And during the long winter of 1777, 513 00:34:00,536 --> 00:34:04,167 a prussian nobleman by the name of baron Von steuben 514 00:34:04,167 --> 00:34:08,217 aided George Washington greatly in teaching musket drill 515 00:34:08,217 --> 00:34:11,348 to a small unit of 100 soldiers. 516 00:34:11,348 --> 00:34:13,603 Those soldiers taught the remaining continental army 517 00:34:13,603 --> 00:34:15,816 at valley forge. 518 00:34:15,816 --> 00:34:18,195 And so, drill formation has 519 00:34:18,195 --> 00:34:21,201 a long and glorious history... 520 00:34:21,201 --> 00:34:24,876 That is a living link to the days and the dreams 521 00:34:24,876 --> 00:34:26,921 of our founding fathers. 522 00:34:26,921 --> 00:34:30,136 And so, here today with these shining blue skies 523 00:34:30,136 --> 00:34:32,808 that god has seen fit to deliver... 524 00:34:32,808 --> 00:34:36,315 We, too, are a part of that history. 525 00:34:39,154 --> 00:34:40,616 General dreedle, 526 00:34:40,616 --> 00:34:43,830 commanding officer of the entire European operation, 527 00:34:43,830 --> 00:34:46,001 has come here all the way from London 528 00:34:46,001 --> 00:34:48,673 because he has heard about you men... 529 00:34:50,468 --> 00:34:53,517 And your tight formations. 530 00:34:53,517 --> 00:34:56,648 Your fiercely tight formations. 531 00:34:57,858 --> 00:35:01,323 And now, without further ado... 532 00:35:01,323 --> 00:35:03,369 Strike up the band. 533 00:35:03,369 --> 00:35:06,083 And, let's start the parade! 534 00:35:06,083 --> 00:35:09,924 Forward, march! 535 00:35:09,924 --> 00:35:16,938 536 00:35:26,541 --> 00:35:28,419 Dreedle: For uncommon valor, 537 00:35:28,419 --> 00:35:32,970 I hereby award you the distinguished flying cross. 538 00:35:36,101 --> 00:35:39,149 Korn: This is private first class James marsh, sir. 539 00:35:39,149 --> 00:35:41,403 - Step forward, private. 540 00:35:42,948 --> 00:35:44,952 For uncommon valor, 541 00:35:44,952 --> 00:35:48,960 I hereby award you the distinguished flying cross. 542 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:50,631 - Well, sir, you know what? 543 00:35:50,631 --> 00:35:52,510 I didn't do nothing my grandpappy didn't teach me. 544 00:35:52,510 --> 00:35:55,808 "Be a straight shooter. Be a straight talker. 545 00:35:55,808 --> 00:35:58,020 Be a clean fighter," he always used to tell me. 546 00:35:58,020 --> 00:36:00,734 And by golly, if I hadn't tried to abide by his advice-- 547 00:36:00,734 --> 00:36:02,457 korn: Thank you, private. - I didn't do nothing brave, though. 548 00:36:02,457 --> 00:36:04,700 I did what any other fella-- - I'm sure you did. 549 00:36:04,700 --> 00:36:07,038 Good for you, son. - Just like instinct. 550 00:36:33,884 --> 00:36:35,888 And who the hell is this? 551 00:36:35,888 --> 00:36:37,473 - This is yossarian, sir. 552 00:36:37,473 --> 00:36:39,060 I don't know what the hell he thinks he's doing. 553 00:36:39,060 --> 00:36:40,564 Is this some kind of a joke, soldier? 554 00:36:40,564 --> 00:36:41,983 What the hell is he doing here? 555 00:36:41,983 --> 00:36:43,152 Cathcart: Captain yossarian is receiving 556 00:36:43,152 --> 00:36:44,237 the distinguished flying cross, sir. 557 00:36:44,237 --> 00:36:46,408 - Well, I'll be damned. 558 00:36:46,408 --> 00:36:48,997 Why aren't you wearing clothes, son? 559 00:36:48,997 --> 00:36:50,291 - I don't want to. 560 00:36:50,291 --> 00:36:51,753 Dreedle: What do you mean, you don't want to? 561 00:36:51,753 --> 00:36:53,757 Why the hell don't you want to? 562 00:36:53,757 --> 00:36:55,510 - I just don't want to. 563 00:36:55,510 --> 00:36:57,138 - Why isn't he wearing clothes? - Why isn't he wearing clothes? 564 00:36:57,138 --> 00:36:58,600 - A man was killed in his plane and bled all over him. 565 00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:00,019 He swears he will never wear a uniform again. 566 00:37:00,019 --> 00:37:01,188 - A man was killed in his plane and bled all over him, 567 00:37:01,188 --> 00:37:02,942 and he's left his clothes in the laundry. 568 00:37:02,942 --> 00:37:04,110 - Where are his other uniforms? - In the laundry as well, sir. 569 00:37:04,110 --> 00:37:05,363 - What about his underwear? - They're-- 570 00:37:05,363 --> 00:37:07,408 his underwear's in the laundry as well, sir. 571 00:37:07,408 --> 00:37:09,914 - Sounds like a lot of crap to me. 572 00:37:09,914 --> 00:37:12,126 - It is a lot of crap, sir. Scheisskopf: Don't worry, sir. 573 00:37:12,126 --> 00:37:14,799 I can promise you that I will personally punish this man. 574 00:37:14,799 --> 00:37:16,761 He will be thrashed within an inch of his life. 575 00:37:16,761 --> 00:37:18,682 - What the hell do I care if he's punished or not? 576 00:37:18,682 --> 00:37:20,184 He's just won a medal, for Christ's sake. 577 00:37:20,184 --> 00:37:22,271 - My sentiments exactly, sir. 578 00:37:22,271 --> 00:37:23,733 Dreedle: He wants to receive it without any clothes on, 579 00:37:23,733 --> 00:37:25,319 what the hell business is it of yours? 580 00:37:25,319 --> 00:37:26,906 Did you win a medal? 581 00:37:26,906 --> 00:37:29,369 - N-no, sir, I didn't win a medal. 582 00:37:30,539 --> 00:37:33,002 Dreedle: I commend your bravery, captain. 583 00:37:33,002 --> 00:37:34,254 What did he do? 584 00:37:34,254 --> 00:37:35,549 Cathcart: He blew up a bridge in ferrara, sir. 585 00:37:35,549 --> 00:37:37,010 Went over the target twice under enemy fire, sir. 586 00:37:37,010 --> 00:37:39,515 - So you're a pilot, son? - He's a bombardier, sir. 587 00:37:39,515 --> 00:37:40,851 - Why isn't the pilot getting a medal? 588 00:37:40,851 --> 00:37:41,853 - Why isn't the pilot getting a medal? 589 00:37:41,853 --> 00:37:43,105 - He died, sir. - No, he didn't. 590 00:37:43,105 --> 00:37:44,274 - Yes, he did. - No, he didn't. 591 00:37:44,274 --> 00:37:46,028 - Jesus Christ, I haven't got all day. 592 00:37:46,028 --> 00:37:47,865 - I'm with you there, sir. - You shut up. 593 00:37:47,865 --> 00:37:50,537 Soldier, for flying back over ferrara 594 00:37:50,537 --> 00:37:52,833 to blow up a bridge under enemy fire, 595 00:37:52,833 --> 00:37:56,591 I hereby award you... 596 00:37:56,591 --> 00:37:59,722 The distinguished flying cross. 597 00:38:03,020 --> 00:38:05,191 Good work, son. 598 00:38:15,879 --> 00:38:22,851 599 00:38:39,677 --> 00:38:44,937 600 00:38:47,943 --> 00:38:54,957 601 00:39:10,655 --> 00:39:17,669 602 00:40:07,853 --> 00:40:09,815 - Hi. 603 00:40:09,815 --> 00:40:13,030 I think I'm supposed to be in this tent. 604 00:40:13,030 --> 00:40:14,992 They said I'm... 605 00:40:14,992 --> 00:40:17,539 Supposed to be in tent 12? 606 00:40:23,509 --> 00:40:25,429 Are you captain yossarian? 607 00:40:25,429 --> 00:40:27,851 - Yes, I am. 608 00:40:27,851 --> 00:40:31,066 - Lieutenant Newman. 609 00:40:32,068 --> 00:40:33,863 - Hi. 610 00:40:33,863 --> 00:40:36,284 - Are you okay? 611 00:41:14,570 --> 00:41:17,032 Pilot: Yo-yo, how we looking down there? 612 00:41:17,032 --> 00:41:19,580 Yossarian: Almost there. 613 00:41:23,713 --> 00:41:26,134 And... 614 00:41:27,596 --> 00:41:29,474 Release. 615 00:41:43,502 --> 00:41:45,047 And release. 616 00:41:45,047 --> 00:41:48,721 Woman: let's call it a day 617 00:41:50,224 --> 00:41:51,894 - And release. 618 00:41:51,894 --> 00:41:55,192 Woman: let us say 619 00:41:55,192 --> 00:41:59,868 that we just can't pretend 620 00:41:59,868 --> 00:42:04,753 and we know it's the end 621 00:42:04,753 --> 00:42:08,468 why delay? 622 00:42:08,468 --> 00:42:14,105 Let's call it a day 623 00:42:14,105 --> 00:42:15,567 624 00:42:15,567 --> 00:42:17,194 And release. 625 00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:31,932 626 00:43:18,191 --> 00:43:25,205 42475

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