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1
00:00:03,423 --> 00:00:06,597
Yossarian: Help!
2
00:00:09,603 --> 00:00:11,189
Hello?
3
00:00:17,619 --> 00:00:19,080
My balls.
4
00:00:25,050 --> 00:00:27,096
Sweet Jesus.
5
00:00:29,685 --> 00:00:36,699
6
00:00:45,465 --> 00:00:52,229
7
00:00:54,776 --> 00:01:00,495
8
00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:09,598
9
00:01:22,122 --> 00:01:24,085
Hello?
10
00:01:42,831 --> 00:01:45,127
Hello?
11
00:01:53,686 --> 00:01:55,940
Hello?
12
00:02:33,389 --> 00:02:35,435
Yossarian:.
13
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What?
14
00:02:44,245 --> 00:02:46,123
Christ.
15
00:02:46,123 --> 00:02:48,712
Fuck.
16
00:02:52,512 --> 00:02:54,808
God.
17
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,770
How-- how bad is it, doc?
18
00:02:58,524 --> 00:03:01,530
Va bene.
19
00:03:01,530 --> 00:03:03,324
Hai perso molto sange.
20
00:03:03,324 --> 00:03:05,538
- Sorry, what?
21
00:03:05,538 --> 00:03:07,416
Have I lost my balls?
22
00:03:07,416 --> 00:03:08,711
- Dovrei cucirlo.
23
00:03:08,711 --> 00:03:11,048
I--i don't understand you.
24
00:03:11,048 --> 00:03:13,094
Do you speak english?
25
00:03:13,094 --> 00:03:14,263
Inglese?
26
00:03:14,263 --> 00:03:15,307
- No, no, italiano.
27
00:03:15,307 --> 00:03:17,227
No, inglese.
28
00:03:17,227 --> 00:03:18,689
Both: No, no.
29
00:03:18,689 --> 00:03:20,568
- Inglese?
no?
30
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:23,489
No?
Christ.
31
00:03:23,489 --> 00:03:25,076
Um...
32
00:03:25,076 --> 00:03:28,876
Hey, can-- can I...
33
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,130
Hey, doc, you see this?
34
00:03:31,130 --> 00:03:33,927
Uno.
35
00:03:33,927 --> 00:03:37,560
Due.
36
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,146
Down here.
37
00:03:39,146 --> 00:03:41,192
Due?
38
00:03:41,192 --> 00:03:42,277
- Si, si.
39
00:03:42,277 --> 00:03:43,363
Due.
40
00:03:43,363 --> 00:03:44,741
- Due? two? Two?
41
00:03:44,741 --> 00:03:46,369
I-- I've got due balls?
- Si.
42
00:03:46,369 --> 00:03:48,122
Due testicoli, certo.
43
00:03:48,122 --> 00:03:49,918
- God, thank Christ.
44
00:03:49,918 --> 00:03:53,049
Thank god.
I've got two.
45
00:03:53,049 --> 00:03:55,053
Due.
all: Due.
46
00:03:55,053 --> 00:03:57,265
Due balls!
47
00:03:57,265 --> 00:03:59,646
I got due!
48
00:04:00,815 --> 00:04:02,359
Yeah, okay, sure.
49
00:04:02,359 --> 00:04:04,321
You do-- do whatever
you gotta do, doc.
50
00:04:05,365 --> 00:04:07,704
- Due.
51
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,632
Christ!
52
00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:28,662
53
00:04:28,662 --> 00:04:31,710
Man: Hey!
54
00:04:34,465 --> 00:04:39,391
55
00:04:39,391 --> 00:04:41,395
Woman: Bravo!
56
00:04:43,859 --> 00:04:47,282
Yossarian: Hi, hi.
57
00:04:50,371 --> 00:04:52,668
Christ.
58
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:55,215
Thank you, thanks.
59
00:04:58,221 --> 00:05:01,520
60
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,524
Cheers, thank you
for having me.
61
00:05:06,403 --> 00:05:08,491
Spaghetti's coming.
My god.
62
00:05:10,746 --> 00:05:12,249
Christ, thank you.
63
00:05:12,249 --> 00:05:14,378
Thank you.
64
00:05:14,378 --> 00:05:16,591
That's wonderful.
65
00:05:16,591 --> 00:05:19,388
66
00:05:19,388 --> 00:05:21,392
Man: Salute, salute!
67
00:05:23,939 --> 00:05:25,693
Yossarian: Cheers.
68
00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:27,362
Salute.
69
00:05:27,362 --> 00:05:34,334
70
00:05:59,969 --> 00:06:01,430
Buongiorno.
71
00:06:01,430 --> 00:06:03,852
Woman: Buongiorno, signore.
72
00:06:03,852 --> 00:06:09,739
73
00:06:09,739 --> 00:06:11,618
- Buongiorno.
74
00:06:11,618 --> 00:06:15,124
Buongiorno.
75
00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,630
76
00:06:20,093 --> 00:06:22,472
Yossarian: So what is that?
77
00:06:25,478 --> 00:06:32,492
78
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:35,833
I just want to know how far
it is to the pasture.
79
00:06:37,335 --> 00:06:39,131
Yossarian: No, not too far.
Okay, good.
80
00:06:39,131 --> 00:06:41,845
Yossarian: 'Cause I might collapse.
81
00:06:45,602 --> 00:06:46,938
Yossarian: If you wanted to,
that'd be fine.
82
00:06:46,938 --> 00:06:49,443
But I'm not pressuring you
or anything.
83
00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:51,321
Yeah, yeah,
I'm-- I'm American.
84
00:06:51,321 --> 00:06:54,579
Yeah, everything about me...
85
00:06:54,579 --> 00:06:56,624
Is that a bird?
86
00:06:59,129 --> 00:07:01,435
- What? I-- I don't understand
what you're saying.
87
00:07:01,435 --> 00:07:03,387
- Shh!
- Shh.
88
00:07:08,690 --> 00:07:15,704
89
00:07:28,980 --> 00:07:33,030
90
00:07:33,030 --> 00:07:34,992
- Ciao, yo-yo.Buongiorno.
91
00:07:34,992 --> 00:07:37,497
- Buongiorno, silvio.
92
00:07:37,497 --> 00:07:41,004
93
00:07:55,324 --> 00:08:02,338
94
00:08:55,027 --> 00:08:56,405
- Are you an American?
95
00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:58,952
No, no inglese.
96
00:08:58,952 --> 00:09:02,083
No inglese. Italiano.
97
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,630
- Is this the American?
- Si, si, americano.
98
00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:05,757
- No.
99
00:09:05,757 --> 00:09:07,886
Mamma, nonna, per favore!
100
00:09:07,886 --> 00:09:10,809
- Si, si!Americano, americano.
101
00:09:10,809 --> 00:09:12,855
- Yossarian.
102
00:09:15,611 --> 00:09:17,740
- No.
103
00:09:24,377 --> 00:09:26,716
Scheisskopf: Seven inch swing,
four inch gap.
104
00:09:26,716 --> 00:09:28,928
Why is that so hard?
105
00:09:28,928 --> 00:09:30,181
Then we look tight!
106
00:09:30,181 --> 00:09:32,268
Then we look fierce!
107
00:09:32,268 --> 00:09:35,817
Then we stand out from all
the goddamn free-swinging arms
108
00:09:35,817 --> 00:09:38,489
that seem to be
the goddamn fashion these days!
109
00:09:40,619 --> 00:09:43,541
You goddamn spastics think
I'm gonna let you
110
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:47,966
prance around here like
a busby Berkeley chorus line,
111
00:09:47,966 --> 00:09:50,429
then you've got another thing
coming to you.
112
00:09:53,853 --> 00:09:56,441
Daneeka: All right, let's have
a look at these nuts.
113
00:09:56,441 --> 00:10:00,116
- You're gonna need
to skootch and lift.
114
00:10:00,116 --> 00:10:02,245
- Okay.
115
00:10:14,477 --> 00:10:16,314
- Sorry, it's just
a little dried blood.
116
00:10:18,402 --> 00:10:20,448
Okay.
117
00:10:20,448 --> 00:10:23,538
Daneeka: All right, let's have
a look at these.
118
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,919
Now, John, it looks like
119
00:10:26,919 --> 00:10:29,550
this piece of flak went...
120
00:10:29,550 --> 00:10:31,136
Right between your thighs.
121
00:10:31,136 --> 00:10:33,474
It missed your left testicle,
it missed your right testicle,
122
00:10:33,474 --> 00:10:35,604
and it split the soft tissue
of your scrotum
123
00:10:35,604 --> 00:10:37,524
right between your testicles.
124
00:10:37,524 --> 00:10:39,444
And that is what we call
spectacular luck.
125
00:10:39,444 --> 00:10:41,239
- So can I go home now?
126
00:10:41,239 --> 00:10:43,118
Is it that kind
of spectacular luck?
127
00:10:43,118 --> 00:10:44,900
Daneeka: You came so close.
128
00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:47,460
Now, if you lose a testicle
for your country,
129
00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:48,630
of course you get to go home.
130
00:10:48,630 --> 00:10:49,757
But you?
131
00:10:49,757 --> 00:10:52,053
You only almost lost
a testicle.
132
00:10:52,053 --> 00:10:53,347
You see the difference?
133
00:10:53,347 --> 00:10:55,226
The best I can do
for an almost-lost testicle
134
00:10:55,226 --> 00:10:56,729
is just to keep you here
while it's healing.
135
00:10:56,729 --> 00:10:58,733
Of course, while it's healing,
136
00:10:58,733 --> 00:11:00,737
the number of missions you have
to flying keeps rising.
137
00:11:00,737 --> 00:11:02,658
Which means the longer
you're here,
138
00:11:02,658 --> 00:11:04,327
the further away you get
from going home.
139
00:11:04,327 --> 00:11:06,498
But you already know that.
140
00:11:06,498 --> 00:11:09,128
All right, nurse,
I'll leave you to it.
141
00:11:13,011 --> 00:11:15,809
- Spectacular luck?
142
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:19,482
- I'm the luckiest guy
in the world.
143
00:11:19,482 --> 00:11:21,904
- Who knew it was as simple
as one testicle?
144
00:11:21,904 --> 00:11:24,660
We probably could have
arranged for that months ago.
145
00:11:25,871 --> 00:11:28,208
- I like the way you think.
146
00:11:31,966 --> 00:11:34,930
Marion: What time
do you ship out?
147
00:11:34,930 --> 00:11:36,308
6:00 a. M.
148
00:11:36,308 --> 00:11:38,103
- That's ghastly.
149
00:11:38,103 --> 00:11:39,188
- It is.
150
00:11:39,188 --> 00:11:42,111
It's ghastly, all right.
151
00:11:42,111 --> 00:11:44,950
- Well, I'd tell you I'm gonna
miss you, but I probably won't.
152
00:11:44,950 --> 00:11:47,371
- You're gonna miss me a lot
more than I'm gonna miss you.
153
00:11:47,371 --> 00:11:50,377
- I doubt it.
154
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,964
- Do you wanna put money on it?
155
00:11:51,964 --> 00:11:53,425
- Sure.
156
00:11:53,425 --> 00:11:55,639
$5.
157
00:11:55,639 --> 00:11:57,391
- What?
- $5.
158
00:11:57,391 --> 00:11:58,561
What are you, cheap?
159
00:11:58,561 --> 00:12:00,982
100.
- I'm not putting $100.
160
00:12:00,982 --> 00:12:03,320
You don't have $100.
- I won't need it.
161
00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:04,949
- Yes, you will.
- No.
162
00:12:04,949 --> 00:12:07,328
You're silly.
163
00:12:07,328 --> 00:12:09,667
Yossarian: No, I'm not.
164
00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:26,449
I like the way
your neck smells.
165
00:12:27,911 --> 00:12:29,080
Marion:.
166
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:32,754
Yossarian: I like the way
your hair smells.
167
00:12:34,007 --> 00:12:36,804
I like the way
your shoulders smell.
168
00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:49,663
- Better start saving
your pennies.
169
00:12:57,011 --> 00:12:58,639
Lorenzo: Buongiorno,
mister yo-yo.
170
00:12:58,639 --> 00:13:00,100
We have a gift for you!
- Hey, fellas.
171
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:01,144
What's the rumpus?
172
00:13:01,144 --> 00:13:02,438
Lorenzo: Is from,
mister Milo.
173
00:13:02,438 --> 00:13:04,233
- Is he back?
I need to talk to him.
174
00:13:04,233 --> 00:13:06,237
- No, no.
Mister Milo in Togo.
175
00:13:06,237 --> 00:13:07,364
- When is he back?
176
00:13:07,364 --> 00:13:08,951
- Sabato.
- Saturday.
177
00:13:08,951 --> 00:13:10,287
- Well, can you get him
on the radio?
178
00:13:10,287 --> 00:13:12,041
I need to talk to him.
He offered me a job.
179
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:14,045
I said no, but now I think
I need to say yes.
180
00:13:14,045 --> 00:13:15,965
- No, no, he on a ship.
181
00:13:15,965 --> 00:13:18,095
He send you this.
182
00:13:18,095 --> 00:13:20,725
This for your testicolo.
183
00:13:20,725 --> 00:13:23,606
- Is very big room.
184
00:13:23,606 --> 00:13:25,109
- For testicolo, no?
185
00:13:25,109 --> 00:13:27,196
Leonardo: Yes, because no want...
186
00:13:27,196 --> 00:13:28,658
...is very bad.
187
00:13:28,658 --> 00:13:30,537
- For your balls.
188
00:13:33,543 --> 00:13:40,557
189
00:13:50,284 --> 00:13:52,831
Over here, tootsie!
190
00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:55,168
191
00:13:57,966 --> 00:14:00,805
Nice pants!
192
00:14:02,474 --> 00:14:09,322
193
00:14:09,322 --> 00:14:10,365
- I'm told this is
cathcart's office now.
194
00:14:10,365 --> 00:14:12,036
- Yes, sir.
195
00:14:12,036 --> 00:14:13,706
- Where's major major gone?
Towser: He's in there, too, sir.
196
00:14:13,706 --> 00:14:15,459
- They're in there together?
Towser: Yes, sir.
197
00:14:15,459 --> 00:14:17,171
- Can I go in?
- That depends.
198
00:14:17,171 --> 00:14:20,595
Yossarian: Depends on what?
- Depends on who you're here to see.
199
00:14:20,595 --> 00:14:23,099
- Cathcart?
- Fine.
200
00:14:23,099 --> 00:14:24,937
Cathcart: I told you,
the deal's off, yossarian.
201
00:14:24,937 --> 00:14:26,649
Yossarian: I know the deal's off.
Hiya, major.
202
00:14:26,649 --> 00:14:28,026
- Hi, yossarian.
- How you been?
203
00:14:28,026 --> 00:14:29,037
- Pretty swell.
204
00:14:29,037 --> 00:14:32,284
- Well, then what is it that you want?
- I want to go home. You owe me.
205
00:14:32,284 --> 00:14:33,955
- I just told you
the deal is off.
206
00:14:33,955 --> 00:14:35,415
Scheisskopf saw to that.
You were there.
207
00:14:35,415 --> 00:14:37,419
- But I didn't make the deal
with scheisskopf,
208
00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:39,967
I made it with you!
- And he unmade it. My hands are tied.
209
00:14:39,967 --> 00:14:42,221
- I've had my balls blown off.
210
00:14:42,221 --> 00:14:43,599
I want you to send me home.
211
00:14:43,599 --> 00:14:44,810
- I can't.
212
00:14:44,810 --> 00:14:46,062
- What do you mean
you can't?
213
00:14:46,062 --> 00:14:47,857
Yes, you can!
Cathcart: I mean that I can't.
214
00:14:47,857 --> 00:14:49,569
I'd like to, believe me.
215
00:14:49,569 --> 00:14:51,699
I'd like to see you gone
from here as much as you would.
216
00:14:51,699 --> 00:14:53,577
- Then do it!
Cathcart: I can't, son.
217
00:14:53,577 --> 00:14:55,540
- You mean to tell me that
you don't have the authority
218
00:14:55,540 --> 00:14:56,834
to send people home?
219
00:14:56,834 --> 00:14:58,086
- I have the authority
to send people home,
220
00:14:58,086 --> 00:14:59,548
I just can't send you home.
221
00:14:59,548 --> 00:15:02,052
I am under strict instructions
not to send you home
222
00:15:02,052 --> 00:15:03,388
without his prior approval.
223
00:15:03,388 --> 00:15:05,183
- He actually said that?
Cathcart: He did.
224
00:15:05,183 --> 00:15:06,854
- But I've had
my balls blown off!
225
00:15:06,854 --> 00:15:08,941
What more does it take?
This is a medical emergency.
226
00:15:08,941 --> 00:15:10,360
- Well, if it's
a medical emergency,
227
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:11,905
I suggest you go talk
to doc daneeka.
228
00:15:11,905 --> 00:15:15,037
Do I look like
a ball doctor to you?
229
00:15:15,037 --> 00:15:16,080
- You understand?
- Yes, sir.
230
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:17,291
- That's two doses
every two hours.
231
00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:19,921
Both: Okay.
- Doc, hey, I need your help.
232
00:15:19,921 --> 00:15:21,675
You gotta tell scheisskopf that
I've had my balls blown off.
233
00:15:21,675 --> 00:15:23,053
- But you haven't had
your balls blown off.
234
00:15:23,053 --> 00:15:24,305
- Doesn't matter.
235
00:15:24,305 --> 00:15:25,683
He needs to think
that they've been blown off.
236
00:15:25,683 --> 00:15:27,061
- You're asking me
to lie to a guy
237
00:15:27,061 --> 00:15:28,229
that we both know is trouble.
238
00:15:28,229 --> 00:15:29,608
- No, I'm not
asking you to lie.
239
00:15:29,608 --> 00:15:31,653
I'm asking you to use
your imagination.
240
00:15:31,653 --> 00:15:35,035
You know that if I stay here,
scheisskopf is gonna fuck me.
241
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:37,289
I've lost all my friends.
242
00:15:37,289 --> 00:15:39,878
I've flown more missions
than anybody on this base,
243
00:15:39,878 --> 00:15:42,424
and every time I get close
to reaching the quota
244
00:15:42,424 --> 00:15:44,888
they raise it on me to fuck me.
245
00:15:44,888 --> 00:15:47,434
I can't do this anymore.
246
00:15:47,434 --> 00:15:50,023
I get that you couldn't
ground me for insanity.
247
00:15:50,023 --> 00:15:52,444
I get that you couldn't
ground me for liver problems
248
00:15:52,444 --> 00:15:54,950
that never existed,
but now I finally have
249
00:15:54,950 --> 00:15:57,789
a legitimate,
actual medical complaint.
250
00:15:57,789 --> 00:16:00,962
And you promised to help me
when it counted.
251
00:16:00,962 --> 00:16:02,674
I'm not asking you to lie.
252
00:16:02,674 --> 00:16:05,345
I'm asking you to be a doctor.
253
00:16:09,311 --> 00:16:11,274
Daneeka: Sir,
captain yossarian suffered
254
00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:12,944
a catastrophic
testicular infarction.
255
00:16:12,944 --> 00:16:14,113
- A what?
256
00:16:14,113 --> 00:16:16,523
- A catastrophic testicular infarction.
- What the hell is that?
257
00:16:16,523 --> 00:16:19,583
- Well, sir, it's a soft tissue
trauma to the scrotal sack.
258
00:16:19,583 --> 00:16:20,751
- And?
259
00:16:20,751 --> 00:16:22,589
- And I believe
captain yossarian
260
00:16:22,589 --> 00:16:23,924
should be sent home.
261
00:16:23,924 --> 00:16:25,135
- It's that bad?
262
00:16:25,135 --> 00:16:28,099
- He may never have children.
263
00:16:28,099 --> 00:16:30,020
- You're saying he's had
his balls blown off.
264
00:16:30,020 --> 00:16:31,480
- Approximately, sir.
265
00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:34,320
I don't know, doc.
266
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,740
If I'd had my balls blown off,
267
00:16:35,740 --> 00:16:37,952
I can't imagine I'd be
standing there just like that.
268
00:16:37,952 --> 00:16:39,789
And at attention, no less.
269
00:16:39,789 --> 00:16:42,921
- Well, he's heavily medicated
right now, sir.
270
00:16:42,921 --> 00:16:44,966
- I want to see.
271
00:16:44,966 --> 00:16:46,553
Excuse me, sir?
272
00:16:46,553 --> 00:16:48,056
- I want to see.
273
00:16:48,056 --> 00:16:50,561
I wanna understand this...
274
00:16:50,561 --> 00:16:52,732
"Infarction."
275
00:16:52,732 --> 00:16:54,026
Drop your pants, soldier.
276
00:16:54,026 --> 00:16:55,696
- I-I'm not sure that's
such a good idea, sir.
277
00:16:55,696 --> 00:16:57,199
He-- he's very tender
down there.
278
00:16:57,199 --> 00:16:58,409
- I want to see.
279
00:16:58,409 --> 00:17:00,581
Drop your pants, soldier.
280
00:17:12,104 --> 00:17:14,316
Take the bandage off.
281
00:17:44,126 --> 00:17:47,090
- I'm counting two testicles
down here, doc.
282
00:17:49,053 --> 00:17:51,516
I want these stitches out,
god damn it.
283
00:17:51,516 --> 00:17:54,021
I want this nut sack
back in the air flying missions
284
00:17:54,021 --> 00:17:56,693
and serving his country like
everybody else, god damn it.
285
00:17:56,693 --> 00:17:59,658
Hike up your pants, soldier!
286
00:18:11,848 --> 00:18:13,393
- Who are you?
287
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:15,480
- I'm nurse cramer.
288
00:18:18,069 --> 00:18:20,700
Is sue Anne not working today?
289
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:23,580
- Nurse duckett's gone.
290
00:18:24,999 --> 00:18:26,419
- Where?
291
00:18:26,419 --> 00:18:28,590
Gone home.
292
00:18:30,135 --> 00:18:31,847
- To the nurses' quarters?
293
00:18:31,847 --> 00:18:34,978
- She's gone home.
Her tour finished.
294
00:18:38,861 --> 00:18:40,155
- When?
295
00:18:40,155 --> 00:18:42,367
- She left this morning.
296
00:18:47,962 --> 00:18:49,549
- She didn't say anything.
297
00:18:49,549 --> 00:18:51,010
Cramer: We treat a lot
of soldiers here.
298
00:18:51,010 --> 00:18:53,557
She's not about to say goodbye
to all of them.
299
00:18:53,557 --> 00:18:57,063
All right, let's have a look
at these testicles.
300
00:18:59,318 --> 00:19:01,113
Okay.
301
00:19:01,113 --> 00:19:04,244
Looks like
you're good to go.
302
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:08,002
303
00:19:11,008 --> 00:19:18,022
304
00:19:41,068 --> 00:19:43,114
Sorry, sir.
305
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:47,163
- What's your name?
- Snowden, sir.
306
00:19:47,163 --> 00:19:49,919
Yossarian: What's your first name?
- Christopher, sir.
307
00:19:49,919 --> 00:19:52,800
- I'm John.
308
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,556
This your first mission?
309
00:19:55,556 --> 00:19:57,392
- Yes, sir.
310
00:19:57,392 --> 00:20:00,481
It's-- it's my first mission.
311
00:20:01,610 --> 00:20:04,114
Take a breath, son.
312
00:20:06,745 --> 00:20:09,249
- You're gonna be fine.
313
00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:11,420
Okay?
314
00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:13,634
Let's go, it'll be fun.
315
00:20:13,634 --> 00:20:16,138
- Yes, sir.
316
00:20:33,005 --> 00:20:35,636
- Hey, where you going?
317
00:20:37,807 --> 00:20:39,644
- I-- I'm a tail gunner.
318
00:20:39,644 --> 00:20:41,815
- There's nothing to shoot at.
319
00:20:41,815 --> 00:20:44,654
There's no Germans in the air.
It's just us.
320
00:20:44,654 --> 00:20:46,365
Have a seat
by that window over there.
321
00:20:46,365 --> 00:20:48,537
You'll be all right.
322
00:20:50,373 --> 00:20:52,252
Just stay out of that tail.
323
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:54,507
- Yes, sir.
324
00:21:10,873 --> 00:21:12,752
Aarfy: Coming upon two minutes out.
325
00:21:15,591 --> 00:21:18,012
We're at 4,000 feet.
326
00:21:20,475 --> 00:21:21,895
See the target on the left?
327
00:21:21,895 --> 00:21:23,690
You see that?
328
00:21:25,986 --> 00:21:28,700
I got it.
329
00:21:31,706 --> 00:21:38,094
330
00:21:38,094 --> 00:21:40,223
- Here we go.
331
00:21:40,223 --> 00:21:41,851
Aarfy: Holding steady.
332
00:21:41,851 --> 00:21:43,855
Are you lined up, yossarian?
333
00:21:43,855 --> 00:21:45,651
Yossarian: Yes, I'm fucking
lined up.
334
00:21:45,651 --> 00:21:47,487
Aarfy: That's the wrong bridge.
335
00:21:52,915 --> 00:21:55,086
- Hey, what happened back there?
Aarfy: The right engine is hit!
336
00:21:55,086 --> 00:21:56,506
We're hit!
Co-pilot: Help him!
337
00:21:56,506 --> 00:21:57,758
Pilot: Cut the fuel!
Co-pilot: Help him!
338
00:21:57,758 --> 00:21:58,969
Pilot: Cutting the fuel!
Co-pilot: Help him!
339
00:21:58,969 --> 00:22:00,931
- Help who?
Co-pilot: The bombardier!
340
00:22:00,931 --> 00:22:02,183
Help him!
341
00:22:02,183 --> 00:22:03,895
Help the bombardier!
342
00:22:03,895 --> 00:22:05,481
- I'm the bombardier!
343
00:22:05,481 --> 00:22:07,110
Co-pilot: Then help him!
344
00:22:07,110 --> 00:22:08,487
Help him!
- Help who?
345
00:22:08,487 --> 00:22:10,449
Who is this?
Co-pilot: The side gunner!
346
00:22:10,449 --> 00:22:12,036
The kid!The new kid!
347
00:22:12,036 --> 00:22:14,499
Help him!
348
00:22:14,499 --> 00:22:18,007
349
00:22:18,007 --> 00:22:19,594
Aarfy: Where the hell
you going?
350
00:22:25,606 --> 00:22:29,154
351
00:22:29,154 --> 00:22:31,116
Yossarian: Okay, okay.
352
00:22:31,116 --> 00:22:33,162
353
00:22:33,162 --> 00:22:35,249
- I'm cold.
354
00:22:35,249 --> 00:22:37,671
355
00:22:37,671 --> 00:22:41,053
- You're gonna be
all right, okay?
356
00:22:41,053 --> 00:22:43,224
You're gonna be all right.
357
00:22:43,224 --> 00:22:46,648
358
00:22:49,904 --> 00:22:51,991
Okay.
Shit.
359
00:22:51,991 --> 00:22:53,494
Shit.
360
00:22:53,494 --> 00:22:54,956
- I'm cold.
361
00:22:54,956 --> 00:22:57,293
- Well, we're gonna
get you warm.
362
00:22:59,214 --> 00:23:00,299
Yossarian: Okay.
363
00:23:00,299 --> 00:23:02,805
Okay, look...
364
00:23:02,805 --> 00:23:05,769
It's ugly, kid, but it's not
as ugly as it looks.
365
00:23:05,769 --> 00:23:07,856
There's no arteries cut,
so you're not gonna die.
366
00:23:07,856 --> 00:23:09,150
- But I'm cold.
367
00:23:09,150 --> 00:23:11,280
Yossarian: Well, that's
a good sign, you know?
368
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:14,035
It's a sign that your body...
369
00:23:14,035 --> 00:23:16,958
Is responding properly...
370
00:23:16,958 --> 00:23:20,632
And it's sending the warmth
to your leg.
371
00:23:20,632 --> 00:23:23,137
But your brain doesn't know.
372
00:23:23,137 --> 00:23:25,433
Okay.
373
00:23:25,433 --> 00:23:26,853
Keep that there.
Snowden:
374
00:23:26,853 --> 00:23:29,357
- It's all right.
That's all right.
375
00:23:29,357 --> 00:23:32,447
- What did you say
your name was?
376
00:23:32,447 --> 00:23:34,367
- It's John.
377
00:23:34,367 --> 00:23:36,038
John yossarian.
378
00:23:36,038 --> 00:23:38,167
- John yossarian.
379
00:23:38,167 --> 00:23:43,052
380
00:23:43,052 --> 00:23:45,389
- Okay, look at me, okay?
381
00:23:45,389 --> 00:23:48,479
Fuck.
382
00:23:48,479 --> 00:23:51,276
Hey, can somebody help me here?
383
00:23:51,276 --> 00:23:54,240
384
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,704
This is a good bandage, okay?
385
00:23:56,704 --> 00:23:58,917
It's gonna get you home safe.
386
00:24:01,923 --> 00:24:03,384
387
00:24:03,384 --> 00:24:04,929
My-- my dad's a dentist.
388
00:24:04,929 --> 00:24:06,181
Yossarian: Yeah, I knew it.
389
00:24:06,181 --> 00:24:09,312
And he's gonna be glad
to have you back, right?
390
00:24:09,312 --> 00:24:11,108
Just look at me.
Look at me.
391
00:24:11,108 --> 00:24:13,655
When I get you back on land,
392
00:24:13,655 --> 00:24:16,619
doc daneeka's gonna
make you right as rain.
393
00:24:16,619 --> 00:24:18,372
394
00:24:18,372 --> 00:24:20,292
- Okay.
395
00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:23,257
- Come here, let's get you up.
396
00:24:23,257 --> 00:24:24,593
Okay, come on.
Let's get you up.
397
00:24:25,679 --> 00:24:29,436
398
00:24:29,436 --> 00:24:32,818
Shit.
399
00:24:32,818 --> 00:24:34,822
Shit.
400
00:24:40,834 --> 00:24:42,211
401
00:24:42,211 --> 00:24:45,259
- Look at me.
402
00:24:51,146 --> 00:24:52,398
Fuck.
403
00:24:52,398 --> 00:24:54,820
Okay, okay.
404
00:24:54,820 --> 00:24:57,576
Okay, okay, okay.
405
00:24:57,576 --> 00:24:59,622
Your eyes--
406
00:24:59,622 --> 00:25:01,208
keep your eyes right on me.
407
00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:02,503
Okay, all right.
408
00:25:02,503 --> 00:25:05,174
Okay, now.
Now...
409
00:25:05,174 --> 00:25:06,636
We just gotta
get you comfortable.
410
00:25:06,636 --> 00:25:08,640
- Okay.
- Okay?
411
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,434
Okay, get you comfortable.
412
00:25:10,434 --> 00:25:11,646
Nice and comfortable.
413
00:25:11,646 --> 00:25:13,482
414
00:25:13,482 --> 00:25:15,444
Get you nice and comfortable.
415
00:25:15,444 --> 00:25:17,574
Okay.
Nice and easy.
416
00:25:17,574 --> 00:25:20,162
Nice and easy.
417
00:25:20,162 --> 00:25:24,922
418
00:25:27,928 --> 00:25:30,517
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
419
00:25:30,517 --> 00:25:33,105
420
00:25:33,105 --> 00:25:35,401
I'm sorry.
421
00:25:35,401 --> 00:25:37,573
I'm sorry.
422
00:25:37,573 --> 00:25:44,587
423
00:26:56,647 --> 00:27:03,661
424
00:27:15,100 --> 00:27:22,114
425
00:29:01,647 --> 00:29:04,485
Chaplain: Yossarian.
426
00:29:04,485 --> 00:29:05,863
You okay?
427
00:29:05,863 --> 00:29:07,951
- Hi, chaplain.
428
00:29:07,951 --> 00:29:09,286
I'm fine.
429
00:29:09,286 --> 00:29:10,873
We had a hairy run
and we lost a man,
430
00:29:10,873 --> 00:29:13,671
but other than that I'm fine.
431
00:29:13,671 --> 00:29:16,384
- You're covered in blood.
432
00:29:16,384 --> 00:29:19,223
- It's not mine.
433
00:29:19,223 --> 00:29:22,271
- Do you want-- can I...
Get you some clothes?
434
00:29:22,271 --> 00:29:24,483
- No, I'm fine.
Thanks.
435
00:29:24,483 --> 00:29:26,530
How are you?
436
00:29:26,530 --> 00:29:28,283
- I'm...
437
00:29:28,283 --> 00:29:29,452
I'm fine, I'm-- I'm good.
438
00:29:29,452 --> 00:29:31,707
That's good.
439
00:29:33,084 --> 00:29:35,046
- Who did you lose?
440
00:29:35,046 --> 00:29:37,134
- He was a new kid.
441
00:29:37,134 --> 00:29:40,265
You might not have
known him yet.
442
00:29:42,227 --> 00:29:43,856
- Where are you off to?
443
00:29:43,856 --> 00:29:46,862
- I'm heading home.
444
00:29:46,862 --> 00:29:48,783
- Can I get you anything?
445
00:29:48,783 --> 00:29:51,245
- No, thank you.
446
00:30:30,575 --> 00:30:34,791
Chaplain: None of us can saywe really knew Christopher...
447
00:30:34,791 --> 00:30:38,716
But we know the kindof boy he was:
448
00:30:38,716 --> 00:30:41,972
A boy willing to put himselfin the path of danger...
449
00:30:43,474 --> 00:30:46,355
A boy barely out of school,
450
00:30:46,355 --> 00:30:51,032
willing to leave his familyand all that the held dear,
451
00:30:51,032 --> 00:30:53,077
all that was safe,
452
00:30:53,077 --> 00:30:55,708
all that was familiar...
453
00:30:57,754 --> 00:30:59,381
To come to a place
454
00:30:59,381 --> 00:31:02,262
where those thingswould seem like a dream,
455
00:31:04,224 --> 00:31:07,732
for there was a bigger dream
456
00:31:07,732 --> 00:31:10,487
to liberate a worldbeset by darkness.
457
00:31:13,326 --> 00:31:15,915
Christopher snowdenshared that dream...
458
00:31:18,127 --> 00:31:21,677
With all of us.
459
00:31:21,677 --> 00:31:24,849
When I came here, I knewthis would be one of my duties.
460
00:31:24,849 --> 00:31:26,937
This...
461
00:31:28,481 --> 00:31:32,657
But nobody really dies here.
462
00:31:32,657 --> 00:31:35,328
They just vanish, they...
463
00:31:36,748 --> 00:31:39,336
They vanish into the sky.
464
00:31:41,675 --> 00:31:43,846
So I do services.
465
00:31:43,846 --> 00:31:45,975
Not burials...
466
00:31:45,975 --> 00:31:47,895
Services.
467
00:31:49,148 --> 00:31:50,985
But thankfully, not today.
468
00:31:50,985 --> 00:31:53,072
We'll keep
Christopher snowden here.
469
00:31:53,072 --> 00:31:55,035
We'll know where he is.
We'll know where to find him.
470
00:31:55,035 --> 00:31:57,749
We'll lament
that the life he lived
471
00:31:57,749 --> 00:31:59,919
did not turn out to be
the life he should have lived.
472
00:31:59,919 --> 00:32:01,715
He was 18.
473
00:32:01,715 --> 00:32:05,013
He didn't get to know
the love of a wife or children.
474
00:32:05,013 --> 00:32:08,478
That they loved him;
They longed for his return
475
00:32:08,478 --> 00:32:11,902
just as he longs for them.
476
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,124
Nevertheless,
he was greatly loved,
477
00:32:19,124 --> 00:32:21,128
and will be...
478
00:32:21,128 --> 00:32:22,507
Greatly missed.
479
00:32:22,507 --> 00:32:25,178
Let us pray for his parents,
Raymond and Elizabeth.
480
00:32:25,178 --> 00:32:26,305
Milo: Hey.
481
00:32:26,305 --> 00:32:27,767
What are you doing in a tree?
482
00:32:27,767 --> 00:32:29,436
- Hiya, Milo.
483
00:32:29,436 --> 00:32:31,107
Milo: Can I come up?
484
00:32:34,029 --> 00:32:35,991
I heard about your protest.
485
00:32:35,991 --> 00:32:37,410
Good for you.
486
00:32:37,410 --> 00:32:38,580
- This isn't a protest.
487
00:32:38,580 --> 00:32:41,753
- Well, good for you.
488
00:32:43,297 --> 00:32:45,678
Whose funeral?
489
00:32:45,678 --> 00:32:46,888
Yossarian: They're burying
that kid
490
00:32:46,888 --> 00:32:49,644
that got killed in my plane
the other day.
491
00:32:49,644 --> 00:32:51,188
Milo: What happened to him?
492
00:32:51,188 --> 00:32:53,527
- He got killed.
493
00:32:56,407 --> 00:32:59,371
- I heard your deal
with cathcart fell through.
494
00:32:59,371 --> 00:33:01,835
You're not going home.
495
00:33:06,468 --> 00:33:08,264
Did you hear about orr?
496
00:33:08,264 --> 00:33:10,895
He turned up in Sweden.
497
00:33:15,111 --> 00:33:16,322
- His body?
498
00:33:16,322 --> 00:33:18,869
- No, alive and well.
499
00:33:18,869 --> 00:33:21,498
Apparently he rode there.
500
00:33:21,498 --> 00:33:25,131
I don't know; They're saying
that's what he did.
501
00:33:25,131 --> 00:33:27,177
- Who's saying?
Where did you hear this?
502
00:33:27,177 --> 00:33:28,429
- Somebody heard from somebody.
503
00:33:28,429 --> 00:33:29,682
They're all talking
about it down there.
504
00:33:29,682 --> 00:33:30,726
If you weren't
running around naked
505
00:33:30,726 --> 00:33:33,941
you might have heard it, too.
506
00:33:33,941 --> 00:33:37,197
- Hey, good for him.
507
00:33:41,121 --> 00:33:44,545
It's gonna be all right.
508
00:33:44,545 --> 00:33:46,508
- Hey.
509
00:33:46,508 --> 00:33:48,219
Hey, where you going?
510
00:33:50,181 --> 00:33:53,605
Hey, you're gonna
come work with me, right?
511
00:33:53,605 --> 00:33:56,987
We'd be unstoppable!
512
00:33:56,987 --> 00:34:00,536
Scheisskopf: And during
the long winter of 1777,
513
00:34:00,536 --> 00:34:04,167
a prussian nobleman by the name
of baron Von steuben
514
00:34:04,167 --> 00:34:08,217
aided George Washington greatly
in teaching musket drill
515
00:34:08,217 --> 00:34:11,348
to a small unit
of 100 soldiers.
516
00:34:11,348 --> 00:34:13,603
Those soldiers taught
the remaining continental army
517
00:34:13,603 --> 00:34:15,816
at valley forge.
518
00:34:15,816 --> 00:34:18,195
And so, drill formation has
519
00:34:18,195 --> 00:34:21,201
a long and glorious history...
520
00:34:21,201 --> 00:34:24,876
That is a living link
to the days and the dreams
521
00:34:24,876 --> 00:34:26,921
of our founding fathers.
522
00:34:26,921 --> 00:34:30,136
And so, here today
with these shining blue skies
523
00:34:30,136 --> 00:34:32,808
that god has seen fit
to deliver...
524
00:34:32,808 --> 00:34:36,315
We, too, are a part
of that history.
525
00:34:39,154 --> 00:34:40,616
General dreedle,
526
00:34:40,616 --> 00:34:43,830
commanding officer of the
entire European operation,
527
00:34:43,830 --> 00:34:46,001
has come here
all the way from London
528
00:34:46,001 --> 00:34:48,673
because he has heard
about you men...
529
00:34:50,468 --> 00:34:53,517
And your tight formations.
530
00:34:53,517 --> 00:34:56,648
Your fiercely tight formations.
531
00:34:57,858 --> 00:35:01,323
And now, without further ado...
532
00:35:01,323 --> 00:35:03,369
Strike up the band.
533
00:35:03,369 --> 00:35:06,083
And, let's start the parade!
534
00:35:06,083 --> 00:35:09,924
Forward, march!
535
00:35:09,924 --> 00:35:16,938
536
00:35:26,541 --> 00:35:28,419
Dreedle: For uncommon valor,
537
00:35:28,419 --> 00:35:32,970
I hereby award you
the distinguished flying cross.
538
00:35:36,101 --> 00:35:39,149
Korn: This is private
first class James marsh, sir.
539
00:35:39,149 --> 00:35:41,403
- Step forward, private.
540
00:35:42,948 --> 00:35:44,952
For uncommon valor,
541
00:35:44,952 --> 00:35:48,960
I hereby award you
the distinguished flying cross.
542
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:50,631
- Well, sir, you know what?
543
00:35:50,631 --> 00:35:52,510
I didn't do nothing
my grandpappy didn't teach me.
544
00:35:52,510 --> 00:35:55,808
"Be a straight shooter.
Be a straight talker.
545
00:35:55,808 --> 00:35:58,020
Be a clean fighter,"
he always used to tell me.
546
00:35:58,020 --> 00:36:00,734
And by golly, if I hadn't tried
to abide by his advice--
547
00:36:00,734 --> 00:36:02,457
korn: Thank you, private.
- I didn't do nothing brave, though.
548
00:36:02,457 --> 00:36:04,700
I did what any other fella--
- I'm sure you did.
549
00:36:04,700 --> 00:36:07,038
Good for you, son.
- Just like instinct.
550
00:36:33,884 --> 00:36:35,888
And who the hell is this?
551
00:36:35,888 --> 00:36:37,473
- This is yossarian, sir.
552
00:36:37,473 --> 00:36:39,060
I don't know what the hell
he thinks he's doing.
553
00:36:39,060 --> 00:36:40,564
Is this some kind
of a joke, soldier?
554
00:36:40,564 --> 00:36:41,983
What the hell is he doing here?
555
00:36:41,983 --> 00:36:43,152
Cathcart: Captain yossarian
is receiving
556
00:36:43,152 --> 00:36:44,237
the distinguished
flying cross, sir.
557
00:36:44,237 --> 00:36:46,408
- Well, I'll be damned.
558
00:36:46,408 --> 00:36:48,997
Why aren't you
wearing clothes, son?
559
00:36:48,997 --> 00:36:50,291
- I don't want to.
560
00:36:50,291 --> 00:36:51,753
Dreedle: What do you mean,
you don't want to?
561
00:36:51,753 --> 00:36:53,757
Why the hell
don't you want to?
562
00:36:53,757 --> 00:36:55,510
- I just don't want to.
563
00:36:55,510 --> 00:36:57,138
- Why isn't he wearing clothes?
- Why isn't he wearing clothes?
564
00:36:57,138 --> 00:36:58,600
- A man was killed in his
plane and bled all over him.
565
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:00,019
He swears he will never
wear a uniform again.
566
00:37:00,019 --> 00:37:01,188
- A man was killed in his
plane and bled all over him,
567
00:37:01,188 --> 00:37:02,942
and he's left his clothes
in the laundry.
568
00:37:02,942 --> 00:37:04,110
- Where are his other uniforms?
- In the laundry as well, sir.
569
00:37:04,110 --> 00:37:05,363
- What about his underwear?
- They're--
570
00:37:05,363 --> 00:37:07,408
his underwear's
in the laundry as well, sir.
571
00:37:07,408 --> 00:37:09,914
- Sounds like a lot
of crap to me.
572
00:37:09,914 --> 00:37:12,126
- It is a lot of crap, sir.
Scheisskopf: Don't worry, sir.
573
00:37:12,126 --> 00:37:14,799
I can promise you that I will
personally punish this man.
574
00:37:14,799 --> 00:37:16,761
He will be thrashed within
an inch of his life.
575
00:37:16,761 --> 00:37:18,682
- What the hell do I care
if he's punished or not?
576
00:37:18,682 --> 00:37:20,184
He's just won a medal,
for Christ's sake.
577
00:37:20,184 --> 00:37:22,271
- My sentiments exactly, sir.
578
00:37:22,271 --> 00:37:23,733
Dreedle: He wants to receive it
without any clothes on,
579
00:37:23,733 --> 00:37:25,319
what the hell business
is it of yours?
580
00:37:25,319 --> 00:37:26,906
Did you win a medal?
581
00:37:26,906 --> 00:37:29,369
- N-no, sir,
I didn't win a medal.
582
00:37:30,539 --> 00:37:33,002
Dreedle: I commend
your bravery, captain.
583
00:37:33,002 --> 00:37:34,254
What did he do?
584
00:37:34,254 --> 00:37:35,549
Cathcart: He blew up a bridge
in ferrara, sir.
585
00:37:35,549 --> 00:37:37,010
Went over the target twice
under enemy fire, sir.
586
00:37:37,010 --> 00:37:39,515
- So you're a pilot, son?
- He's a bombardier, sir.
587
00:37:39,515 --> 00:37:40,851
- Why isn't the pilot
getting a medal?
588
00:37:40,851 --> 00:37:41,853
- Why isn't the pilot
getting a medal?
589
00:37:41,853 --> 00:37:43,105
- He died, sir.
- No, he didn't.
590
00:37:43,105 --> 00:37:44,274
- Yes, he did.
- No, he didn't.
591
00:37:44,274 --> 00:37:46,028
- Jesus Christ,
I haven't got all day.
592
00:37:46,028 --> 00:37:47,865
- I'm with you there, sir.
- You shut up.
593
00:37:47,865 --> 00:37:50,537
Soldier, for flying
back over ferrara
594
00:37:50,537 --> 00:37:52,833
to blow up a bridge
under enemy fire,
595
00:37:52,833 --> 00:37:56,591
I hereby award you...
596
00:37:56,591 --> 00:37:59,722
The distinguished flying cross.
597
00:38:03,020 --> 00:38:05,191
Good work, son.
598
00:38:15,879 --> 00:38:22,851
599
00:38:39,677 --> 00:38:44,937
600
00:38:47,943 --> 00:38:54,957
601
00:39:10,655 --> 00:39:17,669
602
00:40:07,853 --> 00:40:09,815
- Hi.
603
00:40:09,815 --> 00:40:13,030
I think I'm supposed
to be in this tent.
604
00:40:13,030 --> 00:40:14,992
They said I'm...
605
00:40:14,992 --> 00:40:17,539
Supposed to be in tent 12?
606
00:40:23,509 --> 00:40:25,429
Are you captain yossarian?
607
00:40:25,429 --> 00:40:27,851
- Yes, I am.
608
00:40:27,851 --> 00:40:31,066
- Lieutenant Newman.
609
00:40:32,068 --> 00:40:33,863
- Hi.
610
00:40:33,863 --> 00:40:36,284
- Are you okay?
611
00:41:14,570 --> 00:41:17,032
Pilot: Yo-yo, how we looking
down there?
612
00:41:17,032 --> 00:41:19,580
Yossarian: Almost there.
613
00:41:23,713 --> 00:41:26,134
And...
614
00:41:27,596 --> 00:41:29,474
Release.
615
00:41:43,502 --> 00:41:45,047
And release.
616
00:41:45,047 --> 00:41:48,721
Woman: let's call it a day
617
00:41:50,224 --> 00:41:51,894
- And release.
618
00:41:51,894 --> 00:41:55,192
Woman: let us say
619
00:41:55,192 --> 00:41:59,868
that we just can't pretend
620
00:41:59,868 --> 00:42:04,753
and we know it's the end
621
00:42:04,753 --> 00:42:08,468
why delay?
622
00:42:08,468 --> 00:42:14,105
Let's call it a day
623
00:42:14,105 --> 00:42:15,567
624
00:42:15,567 --> 00:42:17,194
And release.
625
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:31,932
626
00:43:18,191 --> 00:43:25,205
42475
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