All language subtitles for Beethovens.Big.Break.2008

( footsteps pattering )

( humming )

You!

- Don')t you dare!
- ( growls )

- Never!
- ( growling )

( groans )

( yells )

-Come back here, you mutt!
- ( bell dings )

Whoa, whoa.

- ( screams )
- Hey, hey wait-- hey, no!

- ( girl yells )
- ( screaming )

Aha!

( roars )

( groans )

- Pizza chef:Don')t let him
escape.
- ( ladder worker yells )

( groans )

- ( yells )
- ( all groan )

- ( groaning )
- Pizza chef: Come on!

- Ladder worker: Come on.
- Pizza Chef:Come on!

Come back here!

- ( groans )
- ( yells )

- Woman: Oh.
- ( groans )

Get him! The dog,
the dog, get the dog!

Careful, careful.

Careful.

( yelling )

- ( thuds )
- ( all groan )

- Hmm?
- ( squeaking )

( ladder worker
whimpers )

- You.
- I'm going to get you!
- Chef: Mark my words,
I'll get you some day.

( paws scrabbling )

( snoring )

- ( gasps, screams )
- Ah.

I have been looking
all over for this guy.

Dad, are you trying
to give me a heart attack?

Billy, what have I
told you about playing
with the animals, huh?

Pete here isn')t
just any lizard.

He is
a professional actor.

And because you
were horsing around,

he')s late,
so I')m late.

Horsing around?

( scoffs )

Horsing around.

- ( squawks )
- ( twitters )

( squeaks )

( quacks )

Hey, guys,
I found Pete. Yay!

* Put the window down
and the pedal to the floor *

* But the fog bank looms
just a mile off the shore *

* It')s only 10 AM
and the beach is packed *

* The waves rolling in
got my mind all sacked... *

Hey, Stinky.
Here.

Hey, baby.
Breakfast.

Up up up up.
Ow!

* Pull out the board,
wax up the stick... *

What about you,
Spencer? Boop.

Okay, everybody,
have a good day.

* -It')s a beautiful day...
- Oh, come on, Dad! *

You come on. We')re late.
I')ve got to get to the set.

( groans )

* It')s
a beautiful day *

* Yeah, it')s
a beautiful day... *

- ( cereal crackling )
- It')s fine.

It still crackles.

Water.
Dad, really?

*
It')s a beautiful day *

* Yeah, it')s
a beautiful day *

( llama bleats )

Hey, hey.

Go get it.
Go get it.

Come on, Billy-boy,
let')s go, let')s go.

Here you go, Pete.

How')s my star, huh?

Oh yeah, looking good.
Looking good.

Billy, come on.

You know...

it')s better to be
an hour early
than a second late.

Success depends on it.

Maybe if
I work real hard,

I can be
the head lizard guy
on some dumb movie.

- I')m sorry,
what was that? - Nothing.

- Mm-hmm.
- ( engine starts )

( engine running )

Okay, buddy,
what')s with the attitude?

You have all these
freaky animals all
over the place...

and all I want
is a dog.

Billy, we')ve
talked about this.

Lots of people
have dogs.

I don')t know anyone else
who has a lizard as a pet.

Hey, that lizard
is not my pet.

That lizard is my job.

We don')t have room
for a dog.

We don')t have money
for a dog.

At the very least, it')d
be a huge
distraction for the training.

Dogs are pets,
and we don')t have pets.

No dogs, buddy.
I')m sorry.

Whatever, Dad.

Okay, well,
have a good day,
and don')t forget

to check in
with Mrs.
Hollinger when you get home.

- I love...
- ( slams )

...you.

"Yup, I love you
too, Dad."

Oh, man.

( engine revs )

( chatter )

( school bell rings )

Hi.

- Photo ID.
- Really?

It-- it-- it')s just
that I')m so late.

You know,
I work here every day.

Photo ID.

It')s-- it')s--
it')s me.

( mutters )
Jerk.

- ( beeps )
- ( thumps )

Eddie:
Thank you...

- ( door slams )
- ...very much, thank you.

( buzzes )

Eddie, Eddie!
You')re late!

Do you think
it')s part of my job

to be waiting for my
assistant to show up?
I don')t think so.

- I')m sorry, Sal, I had
trouble with the lizard-- -
I don')t want the excuses.

I just want the lizard.
Now did you teach
it a good trick?

- Oh, he')s got it all right.
- It')s a good trick?

- Good trick.
- Better be, better be.

Let')s go. Almost time
for Frizzy')s close-up.

( sighs )

Need to compose.

Stanley:Here,
go with 74, then 53-A,

- and make sure
props gets that. - I got it.

Director')s on set.

- Now in this scene, Fanny--
- Patricia: Frizzy.

- What?
- The dog')s name is Frizzy.

- What did I say?
- Fanny.

Whatever. The dog
gets chased by a snake.

- Lisa: A lizard.
- Thought we had a snake.

- Snakes are too expensive.
- Patricia made me rewrite it.

What kind of picture
are we making, anyway?

- It')s a dog picture.
- That is not a dog.

I grew up in the projects.
I know a rat when I see one.

She')s a Bichon Frise.

- What?
- She')s like a poodle,
but not.

It')s a metaphor for life')s
struggle against conformity.

Look,
I don')t care what it is.
Let')s just shoot this,

so I can put the final
nail in
the coffin of my career.

- Sal!
- Yes,HerrDirector.

Would you
get the girly
dog and the snake,

- so we can so this?
- Absolutely, sir.

Oh, and sir, I can')t
wait for you to see

the trick I just
taught the lizard--

very complicated.

I')m amazed I was able
to accomplish it.

- Get the dog.
- Yes, sir.

Who are you?
Are you on payroll?

I')m Eddie.

I')m like the...
assistant animal trainer.

Good for you.

- So is that it?
- Hmm?

Oh, yeah, that')s--
that')s Pete.

- Pete?
- Pete.

- Pete the lizard.
- Hmm.

- You want to hold him?
- Oh, no, no no no.

- Can I see him, though?
- Yeah, sure.

Wow, he')s so...

lizardy.

Yeah. Pretty
good-looking guy.

Hey, I think
he likes you.

Sal:
Oh! Oh, no.

No.

Why, why?
Oh, the humanity!

What and why
are you yelling?

Frizzy
the Bichon Frise

has been dognapped.

Why?

* I')m learning
a lot from you

*
I')ve got to be myself *

* I think that we')re
onto something good *

* Who can explain
to anyone else *

* Oh-oh, you wanna
come with me? *

* Stand up
next to my side *

* Did you see the way
that she looked at me

*
The way that she smiled? *

* The way
that she smiled?

*
')Cause you and me

*
Can take on everyone

*
The world will see *

* That we')re
not afraid of them,
the bullies and the beasts *

* Don')t stand a chance
when it is you and me

*
Against the world *

* Ooh-ooh
ooh-ooh ooh-ooh *

* You and me
against the world *

* Ooh-ooh
ooh-ooh ooh-ooh *

- ( chomps )
- Hey!

What are you doing?

You stole my cookies.

* And we do
what we please *

* Love,
don')t you worry... *

You')re not supposed
to eat the bag.

( belches )

I guess I don')t mind
sharing with a friend.

- ( whimpers )
- ( pants )

Hey, what are you doing?

What are you doing?!

Whoa!

( groans )

No. Hey, hey.
( laughing )

*
You and me *

* -Against the world
- Cut it out. *

- ( laughs )
- ( growls )

- Girl:Hey.
- Oh, oh.

- Hey, hey, hey.
- ( giggles )

- Interesting dog.
-Oh... he-- he--

he')s not mine, yeah.

He')s just some--
some weird dog.

- Oh.
-Yeah.

- I don')t even like him.
- ( whimpers )

Boy:
Hey, Katie, you coming?

Well, whoever')s
weird dog it is,

I like him.

- Bye.
- Bye.

That was the first time
she ever talked to me.

Am I dreaming?

( panting )

We want
$1,000,000

or the Bichon Frise
gets it.

$1,000,000.

Why would we pay a ransom
when the wussy dog

hasn')t shot
one frame of film yet?

So we')re talking
a recast.

Marco, set up a casting call
for tomorrow.

- We have to find
a new star for our film.
-Yes, ma')am.

Sal, you lost the dog,
cost us a day. You')re fired.

Oh, wait, wait.
Excuse me.

I')m sorry,
but to tell the truth,

it was my assistant
who was in charge of Frizzy.

He')s the one who left
the door unlocked.

No, I')m in charge
of the lizard.

I never even met the dog.
I don')t train dogs.

You probably orchestrated
the whole thing.

- What, this guy?
- This guy!

Okay, you')re fired!

What? Me?

You heard our
fearless producer.

Remove yourself
from the premises immediately!

Sal, set up a casting call
for tomorrow.

We')re literally
hemorrhaging money here.

Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.

Am I fired?
')Cause you')re
firing everybody,

and it makes me nervous.
I haven')t worked
since "Good Times."

What are you
still doing here?

I need to get
my things together.
My lizard')s in make-up.

Get your things tomorrow.
For right now,
just get out of my sight.

Hey, Lizard Guy.

Sorry. I know
it wasn')t your fault.

You')re a jerk.

Why did you lie?

Showbiz, Eddie.

It')s showbiz!

Man:
Closing up.
Everybody off the stage now!

( buzzer )

Billy:
Where are you from, boy?
What')s your name?

- ( panting )
- Spot?

No spots.

Maybe you')re like
Abracadabra...

or Banjo...

or Quicksilver...

or something.

Ah, we')ll figure it out.

We')ll find
a good name for you,

hopefully one
Katie likes.

I can')t wait
for you to meet Dad.

( grunts )

Whoa!

Oops.

Thanks, boy.

Oh, man!

I')m missing the
"Top 10 Video Countdown."

( "Beethoven')s
Fifth Symphony" playing )

Dorks.

Hey, boy.

* - You')re at the top,
you')re at the top...
- ( barks ) *

What? What?

* -What')s the matter?
- Can')t get up... *

( stops barking )

( resumes barking )

Wow.

You really like
this music, huh?

I know what
I can name you.

Wolfgang.

- ( barks )
- Announcer:You')re watching
"Classic Performances,"

the Cleveland Orchestra
performing
"Beethoven')s Fifth Symphony."

Beethoven.

That')s who you are!

( barks )

( laughs )

Come here,
Beethoven. Good boy.

( Beethoven')s "Ode to Joy"
playing loudly )

What the-- what?

Who is this?

Oh.
Uh, hi, Dad.

This is Beethoven.

We were making spaghetti.

Oh!

Dad, I know you')re mad.

Mad?

Yeah, Bill.
Actually, I am mad.

You bring a stray dog
into the house--

a huge one, actually,

you destroy the kitchen--

Billy:
You bring animals
in all the time!

- That')s different.
- I don')t see how.

Because it')s my job.

It was my job.

It')s different, okay?

Beethoven and I were
just making dinner.

It')s not like anyone
will make it for us.

Now what')s that
supposed to mean?

Come on.
You know I have to work.

Hey.

I know.

It')s just that everything
would be so much
easier if Mom were here.

I miss her too.

I think about her
every day.

But, Billy, she')s gone.

She')s in our hearts now.

I know.
I just meant that--

Look.

How about we put
the dog in
the animal room tonight, okay?

Tomorrow, we')ll look
for the owner.

If we find him,
great.

If we can')t,
I')ll take him to
an animal rescue.

What? No!

Hey. You know
the rules, pal--

no dogs in the house.

But if no one adopts him,
they')ll put him down.

Someone will adopt him.

You')re a jerk!

Bill.

Are you taking
a snack for later?

( animal noises )

Okay, there')s your bed.
Good night.

What?
You')re going to leave him
with all these creepy animals?

Creepy animals?
They')re all
very professional.

They')re going to be
fast friends. Let')s go.

No. No.
No, no, no.
You stay right there.

This is your bed.

You')re hanging out
with these guys
for the night, okay?

Good night, Beethoven.

Bye, creepy animals.

( squawking )

( chirping )

( chattering )

( meowing )

( squealing )

( squeaking )

( barks )

- ( screeches )
- ( barks )

( quacks )

- ( squawks )
- ( Beethoven barking )

( Beethoven barking )

( groans )

( banging )

Huh?

Eddie:Aagh!

( barking )

Woman:
Hey! Keep that dog quiet!

Tick:Oh, Frizzy, my poor,
stressed-out
little movie star.

( gasps )
You got your appetite back!

Oh! Yes! Yes!

Bones:
What are you laughing at?

( laughs )
She')s eating a sandwich...

like a person!

Dude, is that
my sandwich?

Bad dog. Bad dog.

( door slams )

Tick:
It')s him.

Idiots.

- Hey, boss. I didn')t see
you there.
How')s it going? - Hey, boss.

Do you have
the ransom?

No, I don')t
have the ransom.

Would anyone
like to ask me why

I don')t have the ransom?

Why don')t you
have the ransom?

Because they
didn')t pay it!

- ( animals clamoring )
-I mean, why would they pay it

when they have not shot
one frame of film

- with Frizzy
the Bichon Frise? - ( barks )

Clearly, you have to wait
for the dog to be
important to the movie,

preferably a star,
before you kidnap the dog
and hold it for ransom.

Otherwise,
it')s just a dog!

Wait a minute.
Right--

This was your plan.
Didn')t you set the schedule?

That')s a lie.
It was his idea.

- What?
- Sal:
Anyway, I do have a plan,

one that will work.

( growling )

Okay.

We wait.

We wait 10 days--
10 shooting days,

and then we dognap
the new dog.

Then they have to pay.

They think they
can outsmart me, Sal DeMarco,

the greatest animal trainer
in the history of Hollywood--

the man who taught
a chicken to fly

and a cat to come
when it')s called!

Well, they
can think again.

- They can think again!
-( animals clamor )

- ( laughs )
- Bones:Wait.

- Chickens don')t fly.
- Oh, shut up.

Eddie:
Well, good morning.
How did you sleep?

Such a sweet
little animal-- adorable.

But don')t worry.
We')re taking you
to a nice new home,

and you can sleep
all you want there.

Come on.

Come on, doggie.

Let')s go. Inside.

Hey. ( whistles ) No.

Hey.
Doggie, doggie, doggie.
Doggie. Doggie.

Come on.
Get in the truck.

( groaning )

No!
Come back!

Come on, Doggie!

It')s Beethoven.

I')m sorry. Beethoven.
Come on.

Let')s go. Come on.

I think he should ride
up front with us.

Us?

Well, if you')re taking
my new best
friend to the pound,

I think I get to go.

Okay.

Fine. Fine.
You can say goodbye.

I think he should
ride up front.

Up front? Never.

Animals ride in the back.

( song on radio )
* Oh, you and me

*
Can take on everyone

*
The world will see

*
I')m not afraid of them *

* The bullies
and the beasts *

* They don')t stand
a chance *

* When it is
you and me... *

Stay here.
I')m going to go get Pete.
I')ll be right back.

Okay.

I mean it.
Stay right here in the truck.

I don')t get it.

Got no charisma.

I mean, you really
think this guy is a star?

Yes.
Yes, I do.

I think you could
call him Papi--

Papi the pug.

( yawns )

Poochy.
Puggy.

I think he
lost his mind.

Next!

- You blew it.
- ( whimpers )

Okay, which one
of you mongrels is next?

- Sal.
- What are you doing here?

Well, I came
to get my things--

- and Pete.
- Pete?

Don')t know Pete.
Who')s next?

I am.

You')ve got
to be kidding.

But he has
the heart of a wolf.

- Pete is the lizard.
- What lizard?

- My lizard.
- Oh, I see.

You lose my movie star,
but you')re
interested in your lizard.

I didn')t lose anybody.
You know I had
nothing to do with that.

All of your things are
underneath the stairwell.

If you have a lizard,
that')s where it would be.

Do you mean you didn')t
even feed him?

I')ve had a lot
of things on my mind.

Next.

( whispering )
Pete.

Pete.

Pete.

Are you all right?
Oh.

( sighs )

Billy:
Those are just
a bunch of mutts.

You')re 10 times the dog,
Beethoven.

( laughs ) Oh!

Dad found Pete.

I was worried
about you, buddy.

- Is he all right?
- Yeah.

Pete')s doing just fine.
Aren')t you, Pete?

( Beethoven barks,
growls )

( groans, gasps )

( barking )

- Pete!
- Beethoven!

Billy:
Come back!

Billy:
Beethoven! No!

Eddie:
Hey, get back here! Wait.

Billy:
Where is he?

-( Beethoven barks )
- Billy: Oh!

- That')s not even a dog.
- Sal:Not technically.

But check out
the personality.

It')s a cat.

Yes, but a charming cat.

I think we could
call it Kitty the Cat.

That')s the fattest cat
I')ve ever seen.

- Thyroid condition.
- ( purring )

Look, man.
The movie')s about a dog.
I need a dog, not a cat.

I need a dog.

Yes, sir.

Oh!

- What the--
- Hey!

What kind of dog
was that?

( barks )

( gasps )

( Sal yells, groans )

( cat screeches )

- Eddie: Hey hey! Whoa!
- Sal:Get me out of here!

-Help, get me out!
- Stanley:You...

( barks )

Patricia:
Stop this dog!

This dog is coming at me!
Here he comes!

- ( Patricia screaming )
- Stanley: Show me the dog.

( barks )

( growls )
Oh.

Whoa!

( Patricia screaming )

- ( screaming )
- ( barking )

Whoa! Get this mangy mutt
out of here!

Doesn')t he know
I')m the producer?

Get me down!

Get me out
of this chair!

- Whoa, whoa!
-( alarm buzzer blares )

Billy:
Dad! The door!
He')s not going to make it!

Oh!

- ( Patricia screams )
- Eddie:Pete!

I')m coming, Pete!

Patricia:
Would you come
and get this dog...

- ( growls )
-( Beethoven barks )

Patricia:
Oh no, oh no!

Oh!

- Whoa!
-( barking )

Patricia:
Stop! Heel, heel!

( yells )

- ( sighs )
- ( giggles )

- ( Beethoven barking )
- Patricia:Help me.

Assistant Director:
Hey, that')s the producer!
Somebody help her!

Patricia:
Somebody help me!

- Are you okay?
- Come on, easy.

You okay?

-( barks )
- Stay. No, no. Stay.

Assistant Director:
It')s okay, we')ve got you.
Easy, easy, easy.

- ( sighs )
- You all right?

Stanley:Phenomenal!

Eject these hoodlums
from the lobby immediately!

They disrupted my audition!

Hold it, hold it.
Don')t touch that dog.

That animal
knocked me over.

He destroyed my backdrop.

- That dog is amazing.
- Sal:Sorry?

My sides are splitting.

- Whose dog is this?
- Uh-oh.

Um... it')s mine.

- Who are you?
- Eddie')s one of
the animal trainers.

Was. Was.
I fired him after
the Frizzy dognapping.

Well, he')s rehired.

Sal:
I will not work with this man.

- You know what?
You')re exactly right.
- Thank you.

- You')re fired!
- What?

- Get him out of here!
- You can')t do that!

- Take him off the lot!
- Hey,
I')m a member of the union!

You can')t do that!
I have a lanyard!

This is wrong
on so many levels!

- What')s the dog')s name?
- Oh... Beethoven.

Beethoven.
I like it.

You know what, auditions
are over. This dog is
the star of my movie.

Everybody, be ready
first thing tomorrow morning.

Patricia: Stanley!
Whoa. Wait a minute.

Um... uh.
Uh... hi, hi.

I know. I know we')re
going in a-- in
a new direction and all,

but... the movie is
about a Bichon Frise.
It')s in the title.

I never liked that title
as much as I love this dog.

"Beethoven." I mean,
it')s got a ring to it.
I like that as a title.

But it')s about...
little Frizzy,

and her little
adventures.

- And she')s-- she')s French.
- Not anymore.

It')s about
a big dog that
knocks everything down.

This dog is a superstar.

This could be my statue.

Stanley.

You')re talking about
rewriting the whole film

around this... dog.

Do you know
how many people
would pay big money

to see what
that dog just did?

Lisa. I think you should
spend some quality
time with the dog,

just really get
inside his head.

See what
makes him tick.

Same set.
Same characters.

Just put old Beethoven
in there.

Ooh!

You')re going to make me
a lot of money.

( laughs )
Yeah.

- Oh, and Freddie.
- Um... Eddie.

Eddie. Uh...
you')re training a star.

Use the main gate
from now on.

- I love that dog!
- ( barks )

( Stanley laughs )

Main gate. Wow.

- Sweet!
- Main gate.

- Stan:I')ve got some promise.
- Patricia:In your dreams.

Wow.

So, um... what should I
train him to do?

What?

Oh, well, he said we start
shooting... tomorrow.

So... maybe I could
see a script?

Oh. Sure.

I')ll get you a script.

Only my script
is about

a cute, fuzzy
little French dog

who brings
a family together.

I have no idea
what "Beethoven" is about!

- Oh.
- So I would like to
thank you for coming in here

and basically
wrecking my life.

Me? I... I didn')t
do anything.

No, your dog did.

So I')m just going
to go home and make
myself a pot of coffee,

and start writing
a new script!

( laughs )
It')s no big deal, right?

I')m a professional.
Who needs sleep?

Not me, that')s for sure,
I don')t need sleep.

Why would I need sleep?

Why on earth
would I need sleep?

All I need to do is go
and rewrite
an entire script...

Is she crazy?

Maybe.

*
A celebration... *

Ah, this is it, Bill.

I am the head animal trainer
of a major motion picture.

"Use the main gate,"
she said.

The main gate.
This could change everything.

Do you know what this means?
This means milk in your
cereal from now on, my son.

I mean, this is
the big time.

I could be
the animal
trainer to the stars.

*
Celebrate good times *

I think there')s something
wrong with Beethoven.

Wrong?
What could be wrong?

He')s going to be
a major star.

He looks sad.
Are you sad, boy?

- Beethoven!
- ( groans )

- Billy:Beethoven!
- Oh, Jesus.

Hey!

Hey! Come back!

Billy:
Dad, come on!

( engine starts )

I')ve got to get
that dog back.

-I')ve got to get him back.
- Billy:Where is he going?

- Elderly woman: Hey!
- Lost dog, sorry!

Come on!

Whipper-snapper!

- Where did he go?
-( horn blares )

Billy:
There he is. Go!

- Beethoven!
- Beethoven!

What is he doing?

Billy:
Why would he run away?
I thought he liked me.

Eddie:
We can')t lose
that dog, Billy.

Billy:
You just want to find
him because of that movie.

Eddie:
That dog is our meal ticket.

- ( baker groans )
- ( pizza chef yells )

- ( yells )
- ( groans )

Baker:
This time you pay! Oh my God.

( baker whimpers )

- Ooh, there he is!
- Beethoven!

- There he goes.
- ( tires screech )

( tires screech )

- Eddie: Hey, hey!
- Billy: Beethoven!

- Oh, no.
- Whoa.

Billy:
Dad, we have puppies.

Wow.

This is why
Beethoven ran away.

He was bringing
them food.

Are these
your puppies, boy?

Maybe... he')s not a boy.

Nope. He')s a boy,
all right.

I think he')s their dad.

Where')s your wife,
Beethoven?

Hey, Dad. I think
Beethoven')s
a single dad, just like you.

Uh-uh. We are not
taking in this huge
dog and three puppies.

Dad... you called Beethoven
our meal ticket.

I guess that means
you have to keep
him happy, right?

- Right?
- ( puppy yaps )

Right, right.

Okay, you win.
Let')s go home--

Let')s all go home
for now.

- Yay!
- Eddie:Yay,
yay, everybody')s happy.

Come on, let')s go.
Beethoven')s got to be
on the set early tomorrow.

Hey, Dad, can Beethoven
and the puppies
sleep in my bed tonight?

No, no. The puppies
are in the animal room,
Beethoven')s outside.

Let')s get one thing straight,
Beethoven is not our pet.

He')s my job,
so don')t get too
attached to him.

And don')t
get too attached
to these puppies.

( puppies yelping )

( bleats )

( Beethoven barking )

( growls )

-( rumbling )
-( barking )

Oh, no.

Okay, you won this one,
but that')s it.

From now on,
no more Mr. Nice Guy.

- ( whimpers )
- ( snores )

Eddie:
There it is,
Beethoven-- the main gate.

* I woke up on my roof
with my brothers... *

- Hi, I')m Eddie from--
- Good morning, sir.
I know who you are.

*
And my dad *

* -Paints the house...
- Have a great day. *

* -...different colors...
- Thank you. *

She knows
who we are, buddy.

*
Where would we be *

* -If we couldn')t dream?
- Wow. *

* You never know,
we get a little crazy *

* You never know,
we get a little loud *

* Never know,
we')re never
going to fake it *

* We are wild,
we are free *

* We are more
than it takes to... *

What do you think,
pal, huh?

* That')s just
the way we roll... *

* - Hi.
-That')s just
the way we roll *

* That')s just
the way we roll

*
Oh... *

* That')s just
the way we roll. *

I don')t get it.

Well, see,
Beethoven becomes
part of the family.

What')s this thing
with him shaking hands?

It')s cute and funny.

Beethoven shakes
George Newton')s hand,

and they become friends.

I don')t think
that')s funny.

- Is that funny?
- No, ma')am.

Have you
ever had a dog?

Well, no, but...

I just don')t think
it')s funny.

It')s heartwarming.

Well, let')s shoot it,
but it better play.

Tomorrow')s pages
better be much... better.

- Yes, sir.
- Now go tell the dog guy
what we')re going to do.

- Mm.
- Just doesn')t
seem funny to me.

( growls )

Hey, no!

Beethoven, bad.

- Ah! Ooh!
- ( crashes )

- Whoa.
- ( chuckles )

I')m sorry. He')s just
a little nervous.

It')s his first day in a--

Now come here,
would you-- hey!

Stop messing around.

( barks )

- Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
- ( barks )

- How')s it going?
- Oh, good.

Great. Just...

Just playing
with the dog.

- It relaxes him.
- Playing, huh?

( barks )

Yeah, it')s...
animal training stuff.

It')s very complicated.

Right.

Stop it! Would you--

Beethoven!
Beethoven, come back here!

- Well... take it easy.
- I')ll see you.

Hey! Hey!

-( claps hands )
- What are you doing?

Bad dog. I')m sorry,
I')m sorry about that.

Come on, come on.
This is just pathetic.

You got to start
listening to me.

Come on, this is
work time, okay?

This isn')t
fun and games time.

Are you listening?

Lisa:
Hey, Lizard Guy.

- It')s Eddie.
- What?

My name is Eddie,
not Lizard Guy.

Listen, Lizard Guy,
I haven')t slept in 36 hours,

I couldn')t remember
your name if you told me,

and I really
don')t care if you ever do.

Did you get
the new pages?

Oh. Yeah, I got them.

So we')re good?
He')ll sit there,

he')ll bark softly,
he')ll politely
shake the dad')s hand,

signifying their new
family partnership, hmm?

Mm mm, yeah, sure,
absolutely.

He should probably do
exactly that... I hope.

That doesn')t fill me
with a lot of confidence.

- Woman:Hey!
- ( slurping )

- Woman:It')s my nosh!
- Now, come on. No...

- Oh,
this could be a long day.

Assistant Director:
We need Beethoven
on the set, please.

-Where')s the dog?
- No cookies.

Yeah, he')s coming.
He')ll be right--

Bad, bad for him.
Come on, just... come!

What do you want?

Speak.

Beethoven, speak.

- ( panting )
- ( mimics bark )

Eddie:
Beethoven...
speak, speak, speak!

Speak.

- Hey, there')s your
favorite, George.
- George: Hey!

That')s my bacon.
Give me that back.

- That')s my bacon.
- No, no...

Bad dog, give me that.

- George: Oh...
- Sorry.

You slimed me.

( laughing )

Stanley:
That')s perfect.

- Cut, cut.
That')s brilliant.
- ( laughter continues )

Stanley:
That')s brilliant.
He slimed me.

That')s... gross.

That')s it. Good work.

Uh-huh... um...

Thanks. Hey, why don')t we
make the whole scene

about him stealing
the bacon, huh?

- Quick on-set rewrite?
- Stanley:I like it.

- Matter of fact, I love it.
- Okay.

Stanley:
We got ourselves
a star right there.

Dog, welcome to Hollywood.

*
What I like about you

*
You really hold me tight *

* Oh, you tell me
I')m the only one *

* You make everything
all right

*
Yeah, it')s true

*
What I like about you *

* That')s what I like
about you

*
What I like about you

*
It')s what I like *

* -Hey!
- ( yells ) *

- Boy:Loser.
- ( kids laughing )

Looks like
someone should have kept
the training wheels on.

( horn honks )

Yeah, that')s right.
Run home to your
daddy and mommy.

Oh wait, that')s right.

- You don')t have a mommy.
- Chris, stop it.

Kids:Loser.

Hey, did you have fun
with your friends?

- You')re late.
- Sorry, we were on the set.

- You okay?
- I')m great.

Cut it out.

You')re such a nerd,
Beethoven.

( engine revs )

Billy:
Dad, there')s that crazy lady.

Eddie:
Yup, that')s her.

Come on, boy.

( panting )

- ( barks )
- Oh!

- Eddie: Ooh.
- Oh!

( groans lightly )

Uh... hi.

Hi.

Why are you
on our steps?

Oh, I')m...

trying to write
a script.

Oh.

That')s a weird place
to do it.

- ( laughs )
- Let')s go, Beethoven.

I')m starving.

Uh... oh, thank you.

I was hoping
maybe I could come in

and watch the dog
for a bit.

- Watch the dog.
- Yeah.

Get some inspiration.

I')m suffering from
a little writer')s block.

Patricia and Stanley
are really pressuring me.

Can you watch the dog
while you eat?

Probably.

Yes, I can do that.

Come.

( beeps )

How')s your
Kung Pao chicken?

Mm, it')s good,
thanks.

How')s your...
what is that?

Vegetable lasagna.

( sniffs )
Delicious.

Mm.

Mine is still frozen.

Oh, do you want me
to put that back
in the microwave?

Oh, no,
I kind of like it.

It')s like a macaroni
and cheese popsicle.

You guys have microwave
dinners every night?

No.

Sometimes
we have pizza.

Or burgers.

You')re really a couple
of bachelors, huh?

We-- we do okay.

Oh no, I')m sure,
I can see.

Lisa:
So I hear you named Beethoven.

Yeah...

He really likes
that classical stuff.

Cool. Maybe I')ll
put that in the script.

- Yeah?
-If it')s okay with you.

Yeah, yeah, of course.

Billy, finish
licking your food.

( keys clicking )

So...

I')m beat.

Okay.

- Big day tomorrow.
- Right.

- I')m going to go to bed.
- Good night.

Do you--
do you have a... home?

Oh.
( laughs )

You')re right,
I should leave.

- Do I have to?
- Um...

I have no idea
what to write.

I mean, there')s no scene
written for tomorrow.

I')m going to be fired.

You know...

I got fired this week.

It seems
to lead to
promotion in this business.

So why don')t you just

stay here as long
as you like, work.

I')m sure you')ll come up
with something great.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Hey, Eddie.

I just wanted
to say thanks.

You')re nice,
Lizard Guy.

Thanks.

Good night.

She thinks
you')re nice...

Lizard Guy.

( slobbering )

Ah... oh.

- Ah... oh, come on!
- ( yelping )

This is my bed.

( giggles )

Oh yeah, ha ha.
You think this is funny?

- This is not funny.
- It is, actually.

And I think
I have our scene for tomorrow.
Thanks.

He kissed me
all over my neck.

You went to first base
on my neck.

Sal:
This is out target.

He answers to Beethoven.

- Yes?
- Good name.

Shut up.

He')s big,
and he')s strong.

But soon he will be ours.

But what if they don')t
pay the ransom again?

Well, this time
they will pay the ransom,

which is why
we are waiting

for the film
to almost be
complete before we nab him.

The studio thinks
he')s their next big star.

So yes, they will
pay the ransom,

and I will get my revenge.

They')d better,
because I don')t want

another dumb dog
running around here again.

( growls )

- Take it back.
- What?

Take back what you
just said about Frizzy.

- No.
- Frizzy loves you.

There will
not be another dog
running around here,

whether they pay
the ransom or not.

- What do you mean?
-They fired me.

They humiliated me.

So yes, we will
take Beethoven.

Yes, they will pay
the ransom.

But no...

they will never see
their darling dog again.

( growls )

( whines )

( growls )

( growls )

- ( crashes )
- ( shrieks )

- ( chatters )
-( birds squawking )

-( distant dog barking )
- ( Frizzy whines )

Oh, hey, hey.

Come on,
that')s not for you.

Stay.

( sniffs )

Oh...

- Eddie:Really?
- ( whimpers )

- ( engine running )
- ( horn honks )

Pedestrian:
Hey, watch it!

- There he is.
- Come on, honey.

Oh, heel, heel, heel.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

- There')s my guy.
- Oh, hi.

Who')s a movie star?
You are, that')s who, huh?

How')d you sleep last night?
You look great.

Hey, what are
you feeding him?
Is he gaining weight?

It looks like he')s
been working out. It shows.

If this dog
looks tubby on screen,
you')re out of a job.

Guess what I got
for you, Beethoven?

Come on, man.
Come on.

Come on, man.
Come on, come on.

Eddie:
Let')s see what we got.

- Ta da!
- Whoa.

- Ah,
it')s just a little token.
- A very expensive token.

( whirrs )

Hey, you')re a star now,
and everybody')s going to
start treating you like that.

That trailer')s bigger
than my house.

Stanley, tell him
about the staff.

Oh yeah, the staff.
Come on out, fellas!

Staff?

Hairstylist:
This is so exciting.

Voila.

Beethoven,
that')s your entourage.

Come on, a chef? A masseuse?
Personal groomers?

I')m surprised you guys
didn')t get the Dog Whisperer.

Dog Whisperer.

Here I am,
calm and assertive.

- ( growls softly )
- This is--
this is ridiculous.

Shh!

This is Hollywood.

George:
What the...?

( sighs )

I thought I was
the star of this movie.

Here you go.
Home, sweet home.

Oh... wow.

( whistles )
Wow.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Get off the couch.

Patricia:
No, no, no. That')s his couch.

- You, get off the chair.
- What?

Now... look.
You see that pile of
scripts over there?

Okay,
these are scripts,

that this studio
would like to do

with that star
over there.

The one smelling
his own bottom.

I')m attached to produce.
You')re the trainer.

Everybody wins,
unless you rock the boat.

So look at it
like this.

Don')t screw up.
Train Beethoven,

and let that dog
put us on the front
page of "Variety," okay?

- Okay.
- Okay.

Hey, honey.
Whenever you have a minute.

Take your time.
He')s gorgeous.

Thanks.

What are you smiling at?

( flatulence )

When')s my
next appointment?

Patricia:Quit it.

No, no, no.
Just...

Hello, Beethoven,
where are you?

- ( smacks )
- ( yells )

- May I help you?
- ( groans )

Sal?

No habla ingles.

Sal, I know it')s you.

Well, of course it')s me.
I')m joking, obviously.

What are you doing here?

What am I doing here?

Hey pal, I got a pass.
I work here...

on the incredibly popular
"Animals Gone Wild."

We shoot right over here,
on the main stage on the lot.

That is what I')m doing here.

I meant what are you
doing here,

spying on my dog?

Oh, that.

That.
Oh, just came by to say hello.

Hello. I came by
to see the big fella.

- How you doing?
Beethoven. He')s beautiful.
- ( Beethoven growling )

Look at that big fella.
Come to Daddy, come to Daddy.

( growls, barks )

( yells )

Get that beast
away from me.

I don')t think he likes you
very much, Sal.

Hey, good luck
with your new job.

I sure am enjoying
your old one.

Come on, boy, come on.

He')s a bad man,
but you')re a good boy.

You')re a good boy!

Eddie:
All right.

Now listen to me.

I want you to roll over,
you understand? Come on.

No, no, no.
Come back.

Roll!
Roll over.

They')re kind of dorky,
aren')t they?

- Uh, actually...
- Eddie:Listen to me.

-...yeah.
- Now, now, just--

But in a good way.

Sit, come, come on!

My dad said you really
don')t like Beethoven,

that you would prefer

a "Bay-rese Frise"?

- Bichon Frise.
- Oh.

How would your dad
know what I prefer?

Well, he says you')re
more brainy and refined,

and meant
for bigger things.

Bigger than what?

Us, I guess.

I wouldn')t be so sure.

He said
you were pretty too.

Oh, he did, did he?

Sit. No, no.

- No.
- ( laughs )

- But you are.
- ( laughs )

Thank you, Billy.

I think you')re teaching
my dad how to be
more brainy and refined.

- Oh.
- Whoa.

Oh!

( gasps )

But it')s--
it')s not easy.

( both laugh )

Oh.

- ( gulping )
- ( slurps )

Stanley:
Scrap 52-A.

We')ll knock that out
and call it a day.

All right, quiet, people.
I hear way too much talking.

You want to have fun,
go to the dentist.

So what does our
beautiful Beethoven

have in store
for us today?

Well, in this scene,

Beethoven tiptoes
into the dining room,

and when the family')s
not looking,

He gingerly
steals a shrimp
off the dad')s plate.

That')s it?

- Uh...
- No,
no, he steals the shrimp,

and then, it')s--

it')s-- it')s funny.

He leaves some slobber
on the plate.

Isn')t that the same beat
we played
yesterday with the bacon?

It')s a callback.
Rule of threes?

-( feedback whines )
- Patricia on PA:Hey!

Hey, get to work down there.
Get to work.

Lunch is in five minutes.
I want the scene in a can.

- Okay,
let')s see what happens.

All right, places,
people, let')s do this.
Quiet, quiet.

Okay, Beethoven,
just like we practiced.

When the dad looks away,

you just tiptoe in,

and you grab that shrimp.
You got it?

Is he slobbery enough?

Yeah.

Okay, people,
let')s get this right.

Quiet, we are working
with dogs.

- Okay, buddy,
just stay calm.
-( bell rings )

Wait for it,
wait for it.

And, roll sound.

- Speed.
- Stanley')s Assistant:Camera.

Set.

And action.

Right, buddy,
now go.

Action.

Wait, what-- what happened
to the tiptoe?

( snarling )

( roars )

- Oh!
- Oh.

Eddie:
Heel! No, stop!

Stop!
Heel, no!

Stop!

- ( groans )
- Oh.

- Oh.
- Oh.

( guffaws )

Cut, print!

( cast and crew laughing )

That is what
I')m talking about.

That')s a trailer moment.

- ( coughs )
- Stanley:Give it up...

( mimics
"Beethoven')s Fifth" )
...for my superstar Beethoven

and his genius trainer.

- ( applause and cheering )
- Whoo!

*
Hey *

* I used to think
maybe you loved me

*
Now baby, I')m sure *

* I just can')t wait
till the day *

* -When you knock
on my door - Hey! *

* Now every time
I go for the mailbox *

* Gotta hold
myself down *

* ')Cause I can')t wait
till you write me

*
You')re coming around... *

* - No.
-I')m walking on sunshine

*
Whoa-oh... *

* - Don')t... no!
-I')m walking on sunshine

*
Whoa-oh... *

* - Noo!
-I')m walking on sunshine

*
Whoa-oh

*
And don')t it feel good?

*
Hey, all right now

*
And don')t it feel good?

*
Hey, all right now *

* I used to think
maybe you loved me *

* Now I know
that it')s true *

* I don')t want to spend
my whole life

*
Just waiting for you *

( laughs )

* Now I don')t want you
back for the weekend

*
Not back for a day

*
No, no, no *

* I said,
baby I just want you back *

* - ( yells )
-And I want you to stay *

( groans )

*
I')m walking on sunshine

*
Whoa-oh

*
I')m walking on sunshine *

* -Whoa-oh
- Roll over. *

* -I')m walking on sunshine
- Roll over!

*
Whoa-oh

*
And don')t it feel good?

*
Hey, all right now

*
And don')t it feel good?

*
Hey, all right now

*
Walking on sunshine

*
Walking on sunshine *

* I feel alive,
I feel the love *

* I feel the love
that')s really real *

* I feel alive,
I feel the love *

* I feel the love
that')s really real *

* I feel alive,
I feel the love *

* I feel the love
that')s really real *

* I feel alive,
I feel the love *

* I feel the love
that')s really real *

* I feel alive,
I feel the love *

* I feel the love
that')s really real *

* I feel alive,
I feel the love *

* I feel the love
that')s really real *

* I feel alive,
I feel the love *

* I feel the love
that')s really real *

* - ( flatucence )
-I feel alive,
I feel the love *

* I feel the love
that')s really real... *

* - Oh, God!
-Walking on sunshine... *

* - Really?
-Whoa-oh *

* - Oh.
-I')m walking on sunshine *

* - That...
that is just wrong.
-Whoa-oh *

* -I')m walking on sunshine
- ( flatulence ) *

* - Aww!
-Whoa-oh-oh

*
And don')t it feel good?

*
Hey, all right now

*
And don')t it feel good. *

( laughs )

I like the whole
shoe-slash-sandal thing

you got going on there.
Very trendy.

I don')t get it.

That dog is smart.

At least,
I think he')s smart.

He finds a way to sneak
into my bed every night,

but he won')t roll over.
What is that?

Well, it seems like what
he')s doing is working, right?

I mean, the studio
certainly seems happy.

I')m an animal trainer.

I don')t let them
just run wild

and do whatever
they want to do,

and then take
the credit for it.

Lisa:
Why does he
have that leash on?

Oh, he keeps
chewing through them.
He hates wearing it,

but he')s going
to keep wearing it
until he accepts it.

Isn')t that right, boy?

Let me ask you something.
Is this--

is this what you wanted
to do with your life?

I want to tell
stories that move people,
that make a difference.

You probably
do tell good stories.

- You')re a real good talker.
- Oh, really?

- Really.
- Oh.

Yeah, I')m told I')m also

brainy and refined.

And pretty.

- ( giggles )
- Well...

I')d better get back
to roll-over school.

( croaks )

( growls )

- ( yells )
- ( gasps )

- Ah.
- Oh!

- ( barking )
- ( yells )

- ( yells )
- No!

- Eddie: No! Heel, heel!
- Lisa:Beethoven, stop!

Eddie:
Stop, Beethoven!

( screams )

Doggie, doggie, stop!

Eddie:Oh! Stop!

Stop! No!

( growls )

Eddie:Whoa! No!

( yelling )

Oh!

Eddie:Oh, boy.

( laughs )

That')s going
in the movie.

( laughs )

Glad I could help.

( panting )

Maybe he')s just stupid.

There')s no
stupid dogs, Eddie.

But you don')t understand.

Nobody understands.

This dog
is off his rails.

And no amount
of whispering

is going to bring him
under control.

We must learn
what Beethoven wants.

What he wants?

What Beethoven want--
all he wants is food.

- ( whines )
- Oh, oh, food, food.

You see that?
You see that face?

- That')s all he cares about.
- That')s not true.

He cares about us.

Listen, the producer
says I have to
take it from this nut.

I do not have to take it
from you, young man.

Billy is right.
Beethoven cares about you.

He longs for you
to welcome him into your pack.

My pack?

- Your family.
- Whoa, whoa, hold on.

He is not part
of our pack.

I mean, he')s not part
of our family.

My family is not a pack.

Three puppies,
a kid, and a father.

That')s a pack, Dad.

Would you just
do your homework?

( puppies whining )

Look at your pack.
They want you to lead.

I am an animal trainer.

I')m not a pack leader,
this isn')t a pack,

and Beethoven,
I')m sorry,

but this is just a movie,
and you are just a prop.

All I can say,
it')s never the dog.

Billy:
Yeah,
it')s never the dog, Dad.

Lisa:
Hey, Eddie.

Eddie. Remember
how funny it was

when Beethoven
and the puppies
ate all your shoes?

- Vividly.
- ( laughs )

I just added it to
the movie. It')s hilarious.

It')s not hilarious.
It')s really annoying,

and I wish that you
would just stop
using moments in my life

where that dog
makes me miserable and--

and just putting it
in your movie.

- But it')s funny.
- It')s not funny.

- It')s not funny to me.
- What')s the matter with you?

That-- that dog,
he doesn')t listen.

He doesn')t do
what he')s told.
He wrecks everything,

and then he gets
praised for it.

You know, yesterday,
I tried to teach
him to roll over

for four hours,
just to roll over,

and he won')t do it.

He misbehaves,
you put it in the script.

He')s just a dumb dog.

He')s more than that,
and you know it.

Oh. He')s got you
fooled too.

You call yourself
a writer?

All you do is
you follow him around

and write down
the messes that he makes.

Wow.

He doesn')t
have me fooled.

He')s made
this movie better.

And I')m following
him around

because Beethoven')s got
something that people like,

something
they want to see.

He')s got heart.

Something
you could really use.

Ah, so I')m
the bad guy now?

Really? Me?

( sighs )

- ( whines )
- It')s okay, Beethoven.

He doesn')t mean it.

Eddie:
Hey, Billy.

Billy:
Yeah, Dad?

Billy, I need
some help with this.

Where')s the dog?
I have to train him

for this new scene
we')re shooting tomorrow.

Listen. "Beethoven
walks into the room,

carrying George Newton')s
slippers,

drops them at his feet,
lies down by the couch,

and sweetly rests
his head on the rug."

Come on. Beethoven is
never going to do that.

- ( sighs )
-( Beethoven panting )

Both: Whoa.

Lisa is scary good.

She wrote exactly
what just happened.

She is pretty good,
isn')t she?

Eddie:
You really love that dog, huh?

Not as much
as I love you, Dad.

Aw, that')s my boy.

( engine running )

Eddie:
Hey, Pete.

So they')re not
going to need
Beethoven for a couple hours,

if you guys just want
to hang out in the trailer.

Cool.
Later, Dad.

Hear that, Beethoven?

We have two hours.
Let')s go to the park.

You know that reading
the dictionary
doesn')t make you look smart.

"Famous.

To be known far and wide;

Popular, beloved."

- So?
- Excuse me, Mr.
Criminal Mastermind,

but it might be
a tad problematic

to kidnap a famous dog

in the middle of a studio lot
in broad daylight, Bones.

- ( Frizzy yelps )
- Look, look.

-( Frizzy yaps )
- Bones:They')re
leaving the lot.

( chuckles )

"Luck. Success
from total chance."

Bones:
How about looking up "moron"?

- See you later, Billy.
- See you, Zoe. Bye, Charlie.

- ( keyboard clicking )
- Eddie:You')re going
to break that thing.

You getting
some work done?

Don')t you have
some other writer')s
spirit to crush or something?

( sighs )

You know,

when I was 10,

I had a dog--

Red.

- Red?
- Yeah,
he was an Irish setter.

Red. Creative, huh.

He was a good dog.

A little like
Beethoven, actually--

Ate a lot, was messy.

Anyway, I came home
from school one day,

and Red was gone.
He')d run away.

- Oh.
- For a year,
I looked for him.

Every night, I waited.

I loved that dog.

He was my best friend.

But he-- he left.

Couldn')t find him.
I couldn')t help him.

It')s not your fault
he ran away.

It is.
You get a dog,

and you love it,

and it runs away.

And you build a life,

and you grow a family,

and...

then one day everything
you thought you had

just disappears.

What was her name?

Julie.

She was a great mom.

I')m afraid I')m just
a sorry substitute.

No, that')s not what I see.

I see a dad who')s working
his butt off for his kid.

The only thing
that dad needs to learn

is that he can')t
go through life

without giving
his love to friends.

Eddie, Beethoven')s
part of your family now.

He')s not going anywhere.

Neither am I.

Lizard Guy.
Lizard Guy.

Boy, I')m glad that
nickname caught on.

Where')s Beethoven?
We can')t find
Beethoven anywhere.

What? Billy!

- Billy!
- Billy')s gone too?

- Eddie:His
skateboard')s gone.
- Lisa:Where could they be?

I think I know.
Come on.

( whimpering )

( chatter )

Billy:
There she is.

Pretty cute, huh?

- ( barks )
-Wait.

We can')t go over there.

She likes that guy.

Why would she
want to talk to me?

*
...than an limousine *

* Can you handle
the curves *

* Can you run
all the lights *

* -If you can...
- Whoa. *

Beethoven,
what are you doing?

*
From zero to 60 *

* -In 3.5
- Billy: Whoa!

*
You')ve got the keys *

* Now shut up and drive,
drive... *

- ( groans )
- ( barks )

* -...drive, drive...
- ( cheering )

*
Shut up and drive *

Thanks, boy.
Thanks. Good boy.

* Drive, drive,
drive, drive... *

Yo, that was ripping.
Both you, and your cool dog.

Oh, hi.

- I')m Katie.
- I know. I')m Billy.

I know.

What')s she talking
to that lollipop for?

- Oh, gross!
- ( all laughing )

Look what your
stupid dog did. Ew!

( all laughing )

Girl:
That was cool.

Feeling woozy?

He means, are you
feeling, perhaps,

lightheaded
or off-balance,

as though
you might collapse?

( grunting and groaning )

Bones:
Come on, help me.

So, you want
to grab a soda,
or-- what')s the matter?

- Where')s my dog?
- Um...

-( barks )
- Beethoven. Come on!

( grunts, groans )

I')m doing-- I')m doing
all the work here. Pick it up!

Billy: Beethoven!

( engine running )

- ( horn honks )
- Eddie:Hey, Billy.

He skateboards here
with his friends.

Eddie:
Billy. Beethoven.

- Bones: Hello.
- Tick: Hello.

- That was close.
- Run, run!

- Eddie:Here boy. Billy.
- Lisa:Beethoven.

Billy: Beethoven!

Beethoven!
Come here, boy!

( grunting )

Lift with your legs,
Bones, with your--

( groans )

- You okay? Who')s this?
- I')m Billy')s friend Katie.

- Where')s Beethoven?
- We can')t find him.

- What?
- He')s gone.

- Gone?
- What do you mean,
he')s gone?

- Oh, no.
-( dog barks )

( sighs )

Oh, no.

- Billy: Beethoven!
- Eddie: Hey!

- Billy: Stop!
- Lisa:Beethoven!

Eddie:Hey!

- ( growling )
-( Frizzy yapping )

- Frizzy, quiet.
- ( yapping )

- ( Beethoven growls )
- ( Bones yelling )

- We need tranquilizer!
- What we put on that pizza

- would knock
out a Clydesdale!
- Help, get it, help, help!

- ( growling )
- Help, help!

- Bones.
- Give it to me!

- ( growling )
- ( yapping )

- Billy: Hey, Beethoven!
- The Lizard Guy')s coming.

- ( growling and yapping )
- Hey!

- Breathe.
- ( tires screech )

Breathe deep,
breathe. Yeah.

Hey, you')ve got our dog!

Beethoven, Beethoven!

Oh.

- What?
- We think
Beethoven')s been dognapped.

Patricia:
He')s right. I got
the ransom note right here.

It was just found
taped to the door of
Beethoven')s trailer.

Stanley:
Well, what does it say?
Read it.

"Hollywood Bigwigs,

You will pay
$1,000,000

or the beast known
as Beethoven
will be destroyed.

Instructions to follow."

- Destroyed?
- Poor Beethoven.

( yapping )

Sal:
The slobbering beast awakens.

- ( growling softly )
- Oh, you remember me.

Well, I remember you too.

You')re the dumb animal
that made me
look like a buffoon,

that cost me my job.

Well...

Welcome to
the counter-offensive.

Now everybody else
is running around,
looking like fools.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh.

Rope got your tongue?

( panting )

( barks )

- ( mimics bark )
- ( barks )

( Sal growls )

( snarls )

Choose your last meal,
stupid mutt.

( barking )

Billy:
What are we going to do?

Okay, the answer
is character-based.

Who would do
something like this?

Okay, somebody who
has access to the lot,

so they could tape
the ransom note on
the trailer door.

Someone with
a place to hide

a big, noisy dog
like Beethoven.

Somebody who')s got a grudge
against the studio.

- Hmm.
- Or the movie.

Or me.

And someone
who hates Beethoven.

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Lisa, what exactly
did the ransom
note say, exactly?

Um... "Hollywood Bigwigs,

you will pay
$1,000,000,

- or the beast
known as Beethoven"-- - Beast.

He called him a beast.

I know who
kidnapped Beethoven.

Sal the animal trainer?

Do you have
evidence of this?

- He called Beethoven a beast.
- He')s a real jerk.

Look, I')ve produced
enough cop shows to
know that')s not evidence.

It')s at least
worth checking out.

Could you just update
the police about our theory?

The police don')t know
anything about this,

and I don')t see
any reason why they should.

- What?
- You didn')t call the police?

We don')t need the negative
publicity of a missing star.

We got enough footage
of Beethoven to
finish the film.

After we wrap,
we call the police,

tell the press
we finished the film
before the dognapping.

It')s a win-win.

Except for the fact that
they might kill Beethoven.

Oh, come on.
Who')s going to hurt that dog?

He')s charming,
he')s got star quality.

The dog')ll be fine.

Anything happens
to our dog,

and we')re holding you
accountable.

Really?
Well,
who do you think you are?

Lady, I am done
listening to you talk.

You')re not worthy
of Beethoven.

Come on, guys,
let')s go find our friend.

That was awesome, Dad.

Lizard trainer.
Ugh.

( lion roars )

( wolf howls )

( birds squawking )

Eddie:
Well, this is it.

Lisa:
Wow,
it really is creepy at night.

- ( puppies whining )
- Shh. Billy,
try and keep them quiet.

What')s the matter, guys?

I think they
can smell Beethoven.

You guys stay here,
okay?

I')m going in.

( animals screeching )

- Oh! Shh shh shh!
- Oh! Shh shh shh!

You scared me to death.

You? I think I had
a little heart attack.

What are you even doing here?
I told you to stay at the car.

- Cart.
- What?

You said car.
It')s a cart, a golf cart.

Who cares? Please would you
just go back to the cart?

No. This is the climax.

If you think
I')ve been working
this hard to miss

the climax
of Beethoven')s story,
you')re crazy.

Lisa, this isn')t
some script, okay?

- This is real life.
- All right, then,

I')m here to protect you.

- Protect me?
- Yes.

I don')t want
you to get hurt. I like you.

Oh? Yeah?

Yeah.

So what')s the plan?

I have no idea.

But there')s
a backstage door.
Let')s start there.

Sounds good.

Hey, hey.
I')d better go first, okay?

Okay.

Lisa: Ooh!

- Sorry.
- You okay?

Tick:
...be that way.

Oh, what')s the matter?

You want an apology?

Fine, I')m sorry.

I')m sorry that big, silly dog
got all the attention.

Okay, okay?

Okay, we')re okay.
We')re okay.

- ( gasps )
- Hey, that')s Fuzzy.

- Frizzy.
- Tick:We')re
going to be okay.

Look at us,
fighting all the time

like Ike and Tina.

- ( door creaks )
- ( gasps )

Tick:
Who')s there?

( creaks )

I know you')re in here.

- ( Frizzy growls softly )
- I can smell your fear.

Huh. I guess I must
be getting a little edgy.

( whines )

Bones:
Tick, Tick, come on.

We')re making
the ransom call.

All right,
come on, Frizzy.

Let')s begin
our life of leisure.

( giggles )
Yes, yes...

Good doggie.

( gasps )
Oh, that was close.

That')s the guy
I saw driving the van.
Beethoven is here someplace.

- You got to go
call the police.
- Let')s both go.

No, there')s no time.
They')re going to
make the ransom call now.

If Patricia doesn')t pay it,
who knows what they')re
gonna do to Beethoven.

I')m going to stay here,
make sure
nothing happens to him,

but you got to go
get help.

- But--
- No buts. Go get help.

Do it for Beethoven.

- Be careful.
- Um... okay.

- Wow.
- Wow.

Okay, you listen up to me,
Miss Producer Lady.

We want $1,000,000 in cash

put in a large sack,

and taken to the corner of--

What? Yeah, what--

Go on. Uh-huh.

Au contraire.

I think it is
very reasonable.

Beethoven is going to be
a big, big star

Sal:
Well,
actually, I think I do know

a lot about
the movie business,
Miss Producer Lady.

That')s not a very nice
thing to say.

That')s downright nasty.

You')d better
take that back right now,

or your beloved Beethoven
will be mincemeat.

What?
What')d you call me?

Sal?

Uh, me no know no Sal.

No, Sal who?

I don')t know who
you')re talking about--

Hello?

Hello?

What did she say?

She hung up on me.

And I think
she knew it was me.

Well, that')s not good.

- So when do we get our money?
- Will you shut
up about the money?

- Who cares
about the money? - Me.

I am going to teach them
what it means

to disrespect Sal DeMarco.
You get it?

Bring me Beethoven.

* And then it')s...
Lullaby

*
And good night *

* Little puppy dog,
go to heaven. *

Yeah, bring me
that big bucket of rabies!

Now!

Bones:
Forget about the money?

Forget about the money?
What')s going on?

I fear the boss
is becoming unhinged.

What does that mean?

It')s like woozy,
but with more energy,

and a mean streak,
in the middle.

Oh.

Billy, we need
to get the police.

Billy? Billy!

- Thought I
should get some help.
- Good job, Billy.

- Where is he?
- This way.

Move out, guys.
Hurry up.

Come on, you mutt.
Let')s go.

He')s a pure St. Bernard.

( Sal whistling
the "Death March" )

Sal:
Dead dog walking.

( hisses )

( growls )

( chatters )

Good night,
sweet pestilence,

and may flights of angels

sing thee to thy rest.

It')s the final curtain call
for you, Beethoven.

But I want you to think
of me when you frolic

in that big dog park
in the sky.

( both growling )

This shouldn')t hurt.

Beethoven!

Roll over!

- Eddie:Roll over, Beethoven!
- ( Sal yells )

- ( all yelling )
- ( crashes )

-( Bones groans )
- Tick:Oh, my spleen, ow.

Hey! You did it,
you did it.

You rolled over.
I knew you could do it.

Are you okay, huh?
Those bad men
didn')t hurt you?

How touching.
Man and beast together again.

- Tick:Ow.
- Bones:Ow, my nose.

- Bones:Ah, that hurts.
- Tick:Where')s my Frizzy?
She needs me.

- Bones:Oh, too much pressure.
- Oh, shut up, you babies.

Sal, it')s over.

The police
are on the way.

It')s not over
until I say it')s over.

I concede.
I have lost this battle,

but I warn you--
keep on your guard,

because, when you
least expect it--

expect it--

Sal DeMarco
will be there!

Toodle-oo.

( Bones and Tick groan )

( barks and growls )

Hey. Ouchie, let go.

Get off of me...
pipsqueak.

You hairball!

- ( yaps )
- ( growls )

What-- what are you--

Sal:
Come on, I')ve got you.

Come here, boy.
Come here, boy, come on.

- Uh-oh.
- ( yelling )

Whoo. Oh!

Sal:
Ow, ow, ow, it hurts.

Stop, stop.

-( crashes )
-( yells )

Come on, come boy.

( yelling )

- Come on.
- ( Sal yelling )

Listen to me, doggie!

Stop, dog!
No, stop, dog!

- Eddie: Good boy.
- Sal: Thank you,
thank you everyone.

Ow!
Ow, ow, ow.

That hurt-- Oh!

Good boy.

( Eddie laughs )

( moans )

( clears throat )

Sal:
The beast was
to blame, not me.

Beethoven,
I will get you.

My vengeance will be
the terrors of the earth.

Ow. Ow, this hurts,
this hurts.

Captain:
Oh, shut up.

Dad, you saved Beethoven.

Eddie:
No, we both saved him.

You and I,
we')re a pack, right?

Right.

He sure seems
happy to see them.

( puppies whining )

He')s a good dad.

- So are you.
- Well, I')m working on it.

Hey, do you
want to join the pack

for some dinner tonight?

Frozen bachelor food
with the Lizard Guy?

What, not refined
or brainy enough?

Actually...

it sounds
pretty perfect.

Good.

( puppies yapping )

What is it, puppies?

Oh, guys, will you
give me a hand with this?

Cop:
Yeah, sure. Come on, Jimmy.

How you doing down there?

( groans )

Officers, thank God
you')re here.

Oh, man.
Who called the cops?

- We are not together.
- What?

- We are not a couple.
- Let')s go.

Oh.

Wait for me, Frizzy.

Man, my mommy')s
going to kill me.

- Cop: She')s not
going to worry... - ( yaps )

Cop:
All right,
men, we')re done here.

-Let')s move out.
- Well, guys...

Let')s get out
of here.

Wait, where')s Pete?

Pete?

- ( growls )
- ( croaks )

- ( barks )
- ( yaps )

( clatters )

( dogs barking )

- No, Beethoven!
- Beethoven, come back!

- ( barks )
- ( yaps )

Beethoven, hey!

No!

Eddie:No, no.

( creaking )

( yells )

- Eddie:Can')t see.
- ( barks )

- Whoa!
- Oh!

Ah, oh.

- Oops.
- ( panting )

( barking )

- We should
probably go now. - Both: Yeah.

- Come on.
- Come here.

( puppies whining )

You think anyone
will notice that?

( yapping )

( horn honks )

( audience laughing )

-Oh.
- ( groans )

( laughing )

( laughing continues )

- ( slobbers )
- Oh! ( laughs )

- ( audience laughing )
- Good boy.

( croaks )

*
I like all dogs *

* But I love
Beethoven *

* Gonna shout it
out louder *

* He is there
when you need him *

( rocket roars )

( fast rapping )

*
I like all dogs *

* But I love
Beethoven *

* Gonna shout
it out louder *

* He is there
when you need him *

* Ooh

* I like all dogs

* -But I love Beethoven
-I love all dogs *

* -At the end of my rainbow
-I love all dogs *

* Is a dog to believe in

( fast rapping )

* -I like all dogs
-( gunshots ) *

* -But I love Beethoven
-I like all dogs *

* -Gonna shout it out louder
-I love all dogs *

* He is there when
you need him *

* Ooh

* I like all dogs

* -But I love Beethoven
-I love dogs *

* -At the end of my rainbow
-I love all dogs *

* Is a dog
to believe in... *

( register dings )

( barks )

( fast rapping )

* I like all dogs

* -But I love Beethoven
-I love dogs *

* -Gonna shout it out louder
-I love all dogs *

* He is there
when you need him *

* - ( meows )
-Ooh *

* I like all dogs

* -But I love Beethoven
-I love all dogs *

* -At the end of my rainbow
-I love all dogs *

* Is a dog
to believe in. *