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# You must remember this
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# A kiss is still a kiss
3
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# A sigh is just a sigh
4
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# The fundamental things apply
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# As time goes by #
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It's nice to be on our own.
Yes, it is.
7
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We seem to have been overwhelmed
by people lately.
8
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- I wouldn't say overwhelmed.
- I would.
9
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I sometimes think
there's a hermit in you, trying to get out.
10
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You'd be perfectly happy
living in a cave somewhere.
11
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- Would you move in with me?
- Only if it had central heating.
12
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- It wouldn't have a telephone, for sure.
- I'd like a front door, though.
13
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Well, people knock on front doors.
14
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You wouldn't want them
just walking into the cave, would you?
15
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True.
16
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Well, perhaps a big boulder would do the trick.
17
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Or perhaps...
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- Quick! Hide!
- Woo!
19
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What are you doing?
20
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- I've just seen Alistair.
- Oh!
21
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Lionel, we're grown-ups.
22
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- We can't just hide behind a tree.
- Yes, we can.
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I just wanted
a nice quiet Saturday to myself, with you.
24
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Well, where was Alistair?
25
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- Back there somewhere.
- I know he's there somewhere.
26
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Otherwise we wouldn't be on this side.
Can't you be more precise?
27
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- What do you want, a map reference?
- Look, I'm just trying to be helpful.
28
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Did he see you?
29
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If he'd seen us, there'd be no point in us hiding.
30
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Oh. No.
31
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- Shall I have a peep?
- No!
32
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Oh! Don't pull me about!
33
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I'm sorry but just stay put.
34
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Well, what happens if he walks past?
35
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Do we just hope he doesn't turn round,
or do we edge round to the back of the tree?
36
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- You're making very light of this.
- Well, it's hard to take seriously, isn't it?
37
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He could have turned round.
38
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- I'm going to have a peep.
- No!
39
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- Boo!
- Oh!
40
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Now, why should you two be hiding from me?
41
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- We weren't hiding at all.
- No.
42
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- No, just erm... leaning against the tree.
- Tree, yes. Canoodling.
43
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Canoodling!
What a great old expression that was.
44
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Is. What a great old expression that is.
45
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Now, you may be surprised
that we bumped into each other in a park.
46
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We wouldn't be surprised
if we bumped into you in the Kalahari Desert.
47
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I'll take that as a compliment. I belled Judy
and she told me where you were.
48
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And do I have news!
49
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I assume that's a rhetorical question.
50
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- Li, you're scowling.
- I feel like scowling.
51
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Well, let's go and find somewhere to sit,
I'll tell you my news,
52
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and your face will be wreathed in smiles.
Let's go!
53
00:03:11,807 --> 00:03:14,879
Yes, I'll say this for Alistair: he's an optimist.
54
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,358
You're still scowling, Li.
55
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- It's my face.
- It's not medieval, you know.
56
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- I never said it was.
- No, not Lionel's face,
57
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- I mean the verb, canoodle.
- I didn't mean to imply it was.
58
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I have to say to you both that this is
not one of your more receptive days.
59
00:03:36,767 --> 00:03:40,396
- You haven't given us anything to receive yet.
- Then try this.
60
00:03:40,447 --> 00:03:43,678
Mike Barbosa stepped off a plane this morning.
61
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Is it too much to hope
that it was in midair at the time?
62
00:03:50,487 --> 00:03:54,400
From Los Angeles. And he wants a little meet.
63
00:03:54,447 --> 00:03:58,440
- Shall we do the joke, or not?
- Let's just hear the rest.
64
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- Why?
- To bring you some great news!
65
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,762
- Can't you tell me?
- I don't know what it is.
66
00:04:03,807 --> 00:04:09,040
- Then how do you know it's great?
- Because Mike flew in especially to see you.
67
00:04:09,087 --> 00:04:13,683
Well, that's a step forward, Lionel. Last time,
he fitted you in between buying socks.
68
00:04:16,407 --> 00:04:18,238
I've had a whiz round.
69
00:04:18,287 --> 00:04:21,438
- Is there anything else?
- No, thanks, I'm in good order.
70
00:04:21,487 --> 00:04:24,638
It's damn cheek,
Mike Barbosa inviting himself to tea.
71
00:04:24,687 --> 00:04:27,997
Oh, now, be fair,
he invited us to tea at The Savoy,
72
00:04:28,047 --> 00:04:31,039
but you made it sound like
an expedition to the South Pole.
73
00:04:31,087 --> 00:04:33,476
I see he gets the best cups and saucers, as well.
74
00:04:33,527 --> 00:04:36,997
Now, what is it about Americans
that brings out the worst in you?
75
00:04:37,047 --> 00:04:39,163
I've nothing against Americans as such.
76
00:04:39,207 --> 00:04:42,802
It's Americans who are in television.
They're all hoo-hah.
77
00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:44,644
- Hoo-hah?
- Yes.
78
00:04:44,687 --> 00:04:46,996
Don't forget that this particular American
79
00:04:47,047 --> 00:04:50,278
has a lot to do with your miniseries
being seen on the screen.
80
00:04:50,327 --> 00:04:53,125
I hope he doesn't ask how the Queen is again.
81
00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:55,158
That wasn't Mike, it was Cy.
82
00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:58,836
Who's now in a loony bin.
That bodes well, doesn't it?
83
00:04:58,887 --> 00:05:00,878
- Who replaced Cy?
- Sol.
84
00:05:00,927 --> 00:05:05,921
- A model of mental stability, I might add.
- You've never met the man.
85
00:05:05,967 --> 00:05:09,403
I'm taking a leaf
out of Alistair's book, being optimistic.
86
00:05:09,447 --> 00:05:12,644
Ooh! That's probably them.
87
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:14,678
Now, big smile, now.
88
00:05:17,007 --> 00:05:19,441
That won't do. Think of canoodling.
89
00:05:22,687 --> 00:05:24,678
Go on!
90
00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:34,239
This is really nice. English tea in an English
home. Lionel, you have a beautiful place here.
91
00:05:34,287 --> 00:05:36,118
It isn't mine, it's Jean's.
92
00:05:37,807 --> 00:05:40,162
Another cucumber sandwich?
93
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:43,438
No, thank you, Jean.
I'm watching my starch intake.
94
00:05:43,487 --> 00:05:45,523
Aren't we all?
95
00:05:46,367 --> 00:05:51,805
So... Mike, you were saying
how much Sol liked the first episode.
96
00:05:51,847 --> 00:05:54,486
He described himself as "enraptured".
97
00:05:54,527 --> 00:05:57,997
- He's not in therapy, is he?
- Sol? Ha!
98
00:05:58,047 --> 00:06:00,481
Sol is one of the best-balanced guys I know.
99
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:05,555
I mean, this is a man who finds time to play
with the kids from his first three marriages.
100
00:06:08,127 --> 00:06:11,199
Does "enraptured" mean
he wants the whole thing rewritten?
101
00:06:11,247 --> 00:06:14,364
There goes Lionel
with the jokes again.
102
00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:18,844
Lionel, you have my word.
But the script just needs a little fine-tuning,
103
00:06:18,887 --> 00:06:20,718
which Manny can handle in LA.
104
00:06:20,767 --> 00:06:22,962
- Who's Manny?
- Sol's brother-in-law,
105
00:06:23,007 --> 00:06:25,282
but a distinguished writer in his own right.
106
00:06:25,327 --> 00:06:28,319
This fine-tuning, it's not a major service, is it?
107
00:06:28,367 --> 00:06:30,358
Tiny, tiny alterations.
108
00:06:30,407 --> 00:06:34,480
We just have to make your England
a little more acceptable to Middle America.
109
00:06:35,607 --> 00:06:38,644
Which brings us to the real reason
for Mike's visit.
110
00:06:38,687 --> 00:06:40,678
It is socks again?
111
00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:45,797
Locations. Mike is already looking for locations,
and does he have a great idea!
112
00:06:45,847 --> 00:06:47,838
Yes, do I have a great idea?
113
00:06:49,687 --> 00:06:52,679
Well, we shall never know if you don't tell us.
114
00:06:52,727 --> 00:06:55,685
Lionel, do you remember your dad's house?
115
00:06:55,727 --> 00:06:58,161
Of course I remember my dad's house.
116
00:06:58,207 --> 00:07:02,485
I would just love to see that house.
It sounds perfect to serve as your birthplace.
117
00:07:02,527 --> 00:07:04,518
It was my birthplace!
118
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:07,845
- Great!
- I'm not sure Lionel's father and his wife
119
00:07:07,887 --> 00:07:10,640
would like a film crew
trampling all over the house.
120
00:07:10,687 --> 00:07:13,042
They lead very quiet lives down there.
121
00:07:13,087 --> 00:07:15,237
Almost monastic.
122
00:07:15,287 --> 00:07:18,802
- Rocky and Madge?
- Yes.
123
00:07:18,847 --> 00:07:23,682
Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves,
I just want to see the place.
124
00:07:23,727 --> 00:07:25,638
Well, you could write, Lionel.
125
00:07:25,687 --> 00:07:27,678
Or we could get really modern.
126
00:07:31,047 --> 00:07:32,924
Oh, all right.
127
00:07:32,967 --> 00:07:37,245
By the way, Jean, I thought
that love scene was just beautiful.
128
00:07:37,287 --> 00:07:39,721
Oh, good. I helped Lionel write that, in bed.
129
00:07:42,007 --> 00:07:44,157
Hello, Father, it's Lionel.
130
00:07:44,207 --> 00:07:45,925
Who?
131
00:07:45,967 --> 00:07:47,798
Your son.
132
00:07:47,847 --> 00:07:49,644
What is that din?
133
00:07:49,687 --> 00:07:53,999
Madge is on the drums.
Hold it a minute, dear, will you?
134
00:07:54,727 --> 00:07:56,797
I'm trying to get my lick right.
135
00:07:57,567 --> 00:08:00,206
She's trying to get her lick right.
136
00:08:00,727 --> 00:08:03,287
Ah! Now, what were you saying?
137
00:08:03,327 --> 00:08:08,003
Look, I have a Mr Barbosa here,
he'd like to see the house sometime.
138
00:08:08,047 --> 00:08:10,515
- We're not open to the public.
- I know that.
139
00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:12,876
He may want to use it in the miniseries.
140
00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:16,078
- What as?
- A house, of course.
141
00:08:16,127 --> 00:08:18,118
He may want to do some filming there.
142
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- Somebody wants us to be in a film!
- Oh, how exciting!
143
00:08:22,327 --> 00:08:24,238
When does he want to come down?
144
00:08:24,287 --> 00:08:28,166
Well, that's the thing, you see.
I mean, it's probably inconvenient,
145
00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:30,357
and if you don't fancy the idea at all...
146
00:08:30,407 --> 00:08:32,796
Don't fancy it? We'd love it!
147
00:08:32,847 --> 00:08:35,122
Bring him down for lunch tomorrow, eh?
148
00:08:35,167 --> 00:08:39,046
Oh. Oh, jolly good. Right. Erm, bye, Father.
149
00:08:39,087 --> 00:08:43,444
Cheerio, and give your cutie a kiss from me.
150
00:08:43,487 --> 00:08:45,717
Erm, would tomorrow be too soon?
151
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:47,758
- Perfect!
- Terrif!
152
00:08:47,807 --> 00:08:51,641
Oh, and he sent my cutie a kiss.
153
00:08:51,687 --> 00:08:53,996
Cutie? Oh!
154
00:08:56,687 --> 00:08:57,881
So much for a quiet weekend.
155
00:08:57,927 --> 00:09:02,284
It's rather exciting, though, isn't it?
I mean, we shall see it being filmed.
156
00:09:02,327 --> 00:09:08,004
- Surprised Mike didn't ask Buckingham Palace.
- Oh, he did, but they turned him down.
157
00:09:09,127 --> 00:09:12,244
Oh, no. No, no, those mustn't go in there.
158
00:09:12,287 --> 00:09:18,123
- Well, they do in the commercials.
- Yes, but this is real life. Just give them here.
159
00:09:19,407 --> 00:09:21,398
There you are.
160
00:09:22,607 --> 00:09:24,882
No, don't do this.
161
00:09:24,927 --> 00:09:28,397
- Just go and sit down.
- I don't want to, I want to be alone with you.
162
00:09:28,447 --> 00:09:32,076
Huh! That's an odd thing to say over the sink,
but I like the thought.
163
00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:38,486
- This fine-tuning that Mike mentioned...
- I asked him about that.
164
00:09:38,527 --> 00:09:42,884
- Tiny, tiny alterations is what he said.
- Written by somebody's brother-in-law.
165
00:09:42,927 --> 00:09:46,203
Being a brother-in-law
doesn't disqualify you from writing.
166
00:09:46,247 --> 00:09:49,125
Just so long as
they don't make us do ridiculous things.
167
00:09:49,167 --> 00:09:51,158
Like hiding behind trees?
168
00:09:52,207 --> 00:09:54,198
That was an act of desperation.
169
00:09:55,007 --> 00:09:57,680
Your heart has never really been in this, has it?
170
00:09:57,727 --> 00:10:00,525
I'd never have considered it
if it hadn't been for the money.
171
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,444
Spoken like a true artist.
172
00:10:03,727 --> 00:10:07,242
And when it's all over, what do I do then?
173
00:10:07,287 --> 00:10:10,996
- Then you write your Oscar acceptance speech.
- This is for television.
174
00:10:11,047 --> 00:10:13,925
Oh, OK, if you want to nit-pick.
Look on the bright side.
175
00:10:13,967 --> 00:10:15,923
If this is a smash, you'll be picked up.
176
00:10:15,967 --> 00:10:19,642
- By whom?
- Not young starlets, if that's what you hope.
177
00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:23,680
Film companies, television companies.
You could be hot property.
178
00:10:23,727 --> 00:10:26,002
- Or a condemned building.
- Oh...
179
00:10:26,047 --> 00:10:28,242
What was that for?
180
00:10:28,287 --> 00:10:30,881
Well, for being, as Rocky says,
such a dismal Jimmy.
181
00:10:30,927 --> 00:10:35,125
Why all this talk about afterwards?
You don't have to do anything afterwards.
182
00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:37,806
- Just lounge about?
- If that's what you want to do.
183
00:10:37,847 --> 00:10:39,838
We're all right financially.
184
00:10:39,887 --> 00:10:42,720
Oh, yes, as long as I send you out to work.
185
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:45,998
You don't send me out to work, I enjoy it.
186
00:10:46,047 --> 00:10:49,039
You make it sound as if
I scrub doorsteps for a living.
187
00:10:49,087 --> 00:10:53,365
- You don't see things the way I do.
- Well, just as well, the mood you're in.
188
00:10:53,407 --> 00:10:57,002
I'm not in a mood,
I'm just... concerned, that's all.
189
00:10:57,047 --> 00:10:59,038
Well, you don't need to be.
190
00:10:59,087 --> 00:11:02,124
That's the point. I do, because...
191
00:11:02,167 --> 00:11:04,158
Because what?
192
00:11:05,407 --> 00:11:08,046
Oh, nothing. Nothing at all, really.
193
00:11:18,447 --> 00:11:20,756
Driver! Hold it there!
194
00:11:25,247 --> 00:11:27,886
Alistair, it's magnificent!
195
00:11:27,927 --> 00:11:29,918
- Not bad, is it?
- I love it!
196
00:11:29,967 --> 00:11:32,162
I love it, Lionel!
197
00:11:32,207 --> 00:11:34,641
- Good.
- Let's drive on up there.
198
00:11:34,687 --> 00:11:38,680
This isn't Los Angeles.
We could walk the full 20 yards.
199
00:11:38,727 --> 00:11:41,844
Hey, that's a great idea! Let's walk!
200
00:11:48,247 --> 00:11:51,523
- Did you fall asleep in there?
- No, it's this chair.
201
00:11:51,567 --> 00:11:53,842
I kind of slumped into it.
202
00:11:53,887 --> 00:11:55,878
You look about three feet tall!
203
00:11:55,927 --> 00:11:58,316
Well, would you mind just giving me a hand?
204
00:11:58,367 --> 00:12:00,358
- Sorry, yes.
- Oh!
205
00:12:01,367 --> 00:12:03,358
Oh!
206
00:12:04,167 --> 00:12:06,283
Dignity. Always dignity.
207
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:08,758
Oh!
208
00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:18,605
Hello, Mrs Bale. How are things
in the English Channel?
209
00:12:18,647 --> 00:12:23,402
Calm as a millpond. How nice
to see you again, Miss Pargetter.
210
00:12:23,447 --> 00:12:28,077
- Hello, Mrs Bale. You've met Alistair?
- Still on the tequila sunrises, Mrs Bale?
211
00:12:28,127 --> 00:12:30,641
I've moved on to Black Russians.
212
00:12:30,687 --> 00:12:34,760
And this is Mr Barbosa, an associate of mine.
213
00:12:34,807 --> 00:12:38,163
Mike, this is Mrs Bale,
my father's housekeeper.
214
00:12:39,887 --> 00:12:41,366
Mike?
215
00:12:41,407 --> 00:12:43,398
That face!
216
00:12:44,407 --> 00:12:46,398
That face!
217
00:12:46,447 --> 00:12:48,756
- What's wrong with my face?
- Wrong?
218
00:12:48,807 --> 00:12:50,798
Wrong! It's...
219
00:12:50,847 --> 00:12:54,362
It's incredible! It's... Plantagenet!
220
00:12:56,167 --> 00:12:58,965
Alistair... would you look at this hall!
221
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,438
It's going to be a long day.
222
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:05,558
Are Madge and Rocky at home?
223
00:13:05,607 --> 00:13:09,486
I expect them back shortly.
They went to the leisure centre.
224
00:13:10,447 --> 00:13:12,438
I shouldn't have asked.
225
00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:16,316
What are we going to drink to?
What are we going to drink to, Madge?
226
00:13:16,367 --> 00:13:19,564
- The future, what else?
- The future!
227
00:13:24,607 --> 00:13:27,280
You... You've hit the spot again, Mrs Bale.
228
00:13:27,327 --> 00:13:29,443
One tries.
229
00:13:29,487 --> 00:13:32,365
- Where have the boys gone?
- Boys?
230
00:13:32,407 --> 00:13:37,117
Alistair was showing Mike round. Mike was
running upstairs shouting, "Perfect! Perfect!"
231
00:13:37,167 --> 00:13:42,366
Oh, I like Mike. He's exuberant.
I wonder if he'd like a crack on my drums?
232
00:13:42,407 --> 00:13:47,117
This business of filming in the house, if Mike
decides to, have you really thought it through?
233
00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:51,445
I can't be doing, thinking things through.
It takes forever!
234
00:13:51,487 --> 00:13:53,318
Quite right. Go with the flow!
235
00:13:53,367 --> 00:13:57,121
Lunch will be served at 1:24.
236
00:13:57,167 --> 00:13:59,601
Is that relevant, Mrs Bale?
237
00:13:59,647 --> 00:14:02,115
Unless you all want to go hungry, yes.
238
00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:06,686
Now, what do you think, Jean Pargetter?
239
00:14:06,727 --> 00:14:08,524
It is Plantagenet.
240
00:14:08,567 --> 00:14:10,922
No, I mean about this filming lark.
241
00:14:10,967 --> 00:14:15,722
Oh. You understand that Mike wants to film
the house? I don't think he'd offer you parts.
242
00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:19,521
Perhaps that's just as well.
We'd probably crack his lens.
243
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:22,639
- And then there's the lolly!
- What lolly?
244
00:14:22,687 --> 00:14:26,680
Oh, come on, my boy, we wouldn't say yes
just to cement Anglo-American relations.
245
00:14:26,727 --> 00:14:28,558
We're talking bucks.
246
00:14:28,607 --> 00:14:31,644
- Yes, greenbacks.
- You're not silly, you two, are you?
247
00:14:31,687 --> 00:14:33,678
Only when we're having fun!
248
00:14:33,727 --> 00:14:35,604
Are you all right, Mrs Bale?
249
00:14:35,647 --> 00:14:39,959
I'm afraid lunch will be postponed until 1:47.
250
00:14:40,007 --> 00:14:42,475
I have been unnerved.
251
00:14:42,527 --> 00:14:45,200
- A change of weather in the Channel?
- No.
252
00:14:45,247 --> 00:14:48,796
Mr Barbosa. He wants to use me.
253
00:14:51,687 --> 00:14:53,678
In what sense?
254
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:58,596
He wants me to be in the film.
He wants me to play Mr Lionel's nanny.
255
00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:01,036
- I didn't have a nanny!
- So I told him,
256
00:15:01,087 --> 00:15:04,124
but he kept saying, "I must use that face."
257
00:15:04,167 --> 00:15:06,158
Oh, rock on, I say.
258
00:15:06,287 --> 00:15:08,596
Yes, fame beckons, Mrs Bale.
259
00:15:08,647 --> 00:15:12,435
Just a minute, what's a nanny doing in it?
There's no nanny in my script.
260
00:15:12,487 --> 00:15:16,924
There is, according to Mr Barbosa,
in your childhood scenes.
261
00:15:16,967 --> 00:15:18,958
What childhood scenes?
262
00:15:19,007 --> 00:15:24,923
- Sounds like the brother-in-law's fine-tuning.
- Yes. Well, we'll see about that!
263
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:28,004
He always did fly off the handle, that boy.
264
00:15:28,047 --> 00:15:30,038
I'm sorry I mentioned it now.
265
00:15:30,807 --> 00:15:34,880
I must get on with lunch,
or it will drag on till 1:57.
266
00:15:34,927 --> 00:15:38,158
I'd better find Lionel before blood is spilt.
267
00:15:38,207 --> 00:15:43,998
I don't see what all the fuss is about.
I mean, nobody takes television seriously.
268
00:15:44,047 --> 00:15:46,038
It's only pretend.
269
00:15:46,087 --> 00:15:49,204
If Lionel punches Mike on the nose, it won't be.
270
00:15:50,207 --> 00:15:52,926
Of all the crackbrained, half-witted ideas.
271
00:15:52,967 --> 00:15:59,281
Just Two People, it's called. Just two grown-up
people. My childhood is an irrelevance.
272
00:15:59,327 --> 00:16:02,922
Li, cool it, please. We were all children once.
273
00:16:02,967 --> 00:16:07,358
That's a profound statement, if ever I heard one.
I want to talk to Mike. Where is he?
274
00:16:07,407 --> 00:16:11,685
He's... He's wandering about somewhere.
Look, Li, we do not need alienation.
275
00:16:11,727 --> 00:16:14,241
I don't care what we need, I want to talk to him.
276
00:16:15,127 --> 00:16:18,722
- Hey... Lovely lady.
- Will you stop calling her that?
277
00:16:18,767 --> 00:16:22,316
Jean, could you please keep
at least one of Lionel's feet on the ground?
278
00:16:22,367 --> 00:16:24,278
Not if he's hopping mad.
279
00:16:24,327 --> 00:16:27,922
- Very funny.
- Mind you, he has a right to be.
280
00:16:27,967 --> 00:16:32,085
Somebody's brother-in-law
sticking in extra scenes, it's not fair.
281
00:16:32,127 --> 00:16:37,121
I suppose he's also got a scene of me
taking part in Trooping The Colour.
282
00:16:37,167 --> 00:16:42,002
- He has, hasn't he?
- Look, Li, these things are open to debate.
283
00:16:42,047 --> 00:16:44,845
Then find Mike, and let's debate.
284
00:16:44,887 --> 00:16:46,684
After lunch, though.
285
00:16:46,727 --> 00:16:49,685
It's never wise to debate on an empty stomach.
286
00:16:49,727 --> 00:16:51,558
Who told you that?
287
00:16:51,607 --> 00:16:53,598
Benjamin Disraeli?
288
00:16:53,647 --> 00:16:55,638
Hey, you guys!
289
00:16:55,687 --> 00:16:57,757
- Mike?
- Up here!
290
00:16:57,807 --> 00:16:59,684
Look, there he is, there he is.
291
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:03,686
I'm in the attic. It's unbelievable!
292
00:17:03,727 --> 00:17:07,561
- Pardon?
- The attic, it's unbelievable!
293
00:17:07,607 --> 00:17:10,644
I can't hear you. Could you lean out a bit more?
294
00:17:18,007 --> 00:17:21,602
Don't you see, Lionel?
This bit of back story, it adds colour.
295
00:17:21,647 --> 00:17:24,480
- It adds, um...
- Poignancy.
296
00:17:24,527 --> 00:17:28,486
Poignancy, poignancy. We get to see
the little boy who became the man.
297
00:17:28,527 --> 00:17:30,882
What about the little girl
who became the woman?
298
00:17:30,927 --> 00:17:36,206
What a great idea! We could get to meet
the young Jean, in an orphanage.
299
00:17:36,247 --> 00:17:39,284
- Orphanage?
- That just came to me, out of left-field.
300
00:17:39,327 --> 00:17:41,124
Pity you didn't leave it there.
301
00:17:41,167 --> 00:17:44,523
I'm still bothered about the fox-hunting.
302
00:17:44,567 --> 00:17:47,843
Rocky, it's so British, it's so colourful.
303
00:17:47,887 --> 00:17:50,879
- It's so cruel.
- What about a paper chase?
304
00:17:50,927 --> 00:17:55,443
- No, thanks, I'm full up.
- What I meant is instead of the fox-hunting.
305
00:17:55,487 --> 00:17:59,321
- With the boy Lionel as the hare, you mean?
- Could be, could be.
306
00:17:59,367 --> 00:18:01,403
- I never liked running.
- Oh, go on.
307
00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:04,598
I could watch from the orphanage window!
308
00:18:05,247 --> 00:18:07,761
Jean, that was only an idea.
309
00:18:07,807 --> 00:18:09,718
And as soppy as the rest of them.
310
00:18:09,767 --> 00:18:14,887
- I did think the Christmas party sounded fun.
- Madge, it would tear at the heartstrings.
311
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:19,955
Especially interspersed with my scene
at the orphanage with my pathetic rag doll.
312
00:18:20,007 --> 00:18:23,966
- I don't understand all this servant business.
- Tradition.
313
00:18:24,007 --> 00:18:29,365
All the servants line up to present the young
Lionel with their touching Christmas gifts.
314
00:18:29,407 --> 00:18:33,480
But we didn't have servants.
All we had was old Mrs Twillet.
315
00:18:33,527 --> 00:18:35,722
She came in to do, twice a week.
316
00:18:36,567 --> 00:18:40,879
- Let's remember poetic licence.
- Poetic claptrap!
317
00:18:40,927 --> 00:18:44,203
- I'd like to say something.
- Shoot, Mrs Bale.
318
00:18:44,247 --> 00:18:50,038
Mr Barbosa, I have considered your offer,
but have decided not to play Nanny.
319
00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:52,476
It wasn't actually an offer.
320
00:18:52,527 --> 00:18:56,998
You see, I lead a quiet life,
and I rather like it that way.
321
00:18:57,047 --> 00:19:00,881
Having your handprints in cement
outside Grauman's Chinese Theater
322
00:19:00,927 --> 00:19:03,043
may be some people's idea of enjoyment,
323
00:19:03,087 --> 00:19:07,205
but I'm far happier with a good book
and the Shipping Forecast.
324
00:19:09,367 --> 00:19:11,358
Alistair?
325
00:19:11,407 --> 00:19:15,446
Probably a wise decision
on the whole, Mrs Bale.
326
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:17,284
I think so.
327
00:19:17,327 --> 00:19:22,355
But I am rather pleased to learn
that I have a Plantagenet face.
328
00:19:26,887 --> 00:19:30,596
- OK, where were we?
- Lionel had just said, "Claptrap!"
329
00:19:30,647 --> 00:19:34,037
The most restrained expression
I could use, in mixed company.
330
00:19:34,087 --> 00:19:36,078
Oh, I don't mind a good swear!
331
00:19:37,047 --> 00:19:40,119
She's been known to turn the air blue herself,
has Madge.
332
00:19:40,167 --> 00:19:42,397
Who's going to start the swearing off?
333
00:19:42,447 --> 00:19:45,757
People, please!
I'm beginning to feel outnumbered here.
334
00:19:45,807 --> 00:19:49,038
I do stress, these are only tentative suggestions.
335
00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:52,318
If they stay that way, fine.
But I won't agree to scenes
336
00:19:52,367 --> 00:19:56,758
that depict me as Little Lord Fauntleroy
and Jean as Little Orphan Annie.
337
00:19:57,647 --> 00:19:59,638
Would you excuse us?
338
00:20:03,447 --> 00:20:06,166
Does Lionel have final script approval?
339
00:20:06,207 --> 00:20:08,516
- Of course not.
- Excellent!
340
00:20:08,567 --> 00:20:11,604
Believe me, Lionel,
I've taken your criticisms on board
341
00:20:11,647 --> 00:20:14,480
and I shall straighten out Manny
as soon as I get to LA.
342
00:20:14,527 --> 00:20:16,757
- Thank you.
- And not a nose punched.
343
00:20:16,807 --> 00:20:21,756
I've got a bit lost. Now, does this mean that you
are going to be filming the old place or not?
344
00:20:21,807 --> 00:20:26,517
Sir, I think this house is a dream location.
We shall be talking to you.
345
00:20:26,567 --> 00:20:29,127
- We don't come cheap.
- We don't pay cheap.
346
00:20:29,167 --> 00:20:31,283
Well, that sounds jolly good!
347
00:20:31,327 --> 00:20:35,161
- Now, come on, who's for a game of pool?
- Oh, I'm on.
348
00:20:35,207 --> 00:20:38,677
I'd love to, but Alistair and I
have to go to Edinburgh, Scotland.
349
00:20:38,727 --> 00:20:42,163
Yes, we have to see a man
who knows a man, you know...
350
00:20:42,207 --> 00:20:44,846
- Can we give you a lift to town?
- That's very kind,
351
00:20:44,887 --> 00:20:48,562
but Lionel and I
are going to make love this afternoon.
352
00:20:52,007 --> 00:20:53,998
Good. Um...
353
00:20:56,207 --> 00:20:58,846
How very... Well, we'll catch you later.
354
00:20:59,087 --> 00:21:00,884
We'll see you out.
355
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:04,636
Yes. Tell me, Mike, this limo of yours,
is it a souped-up job?
356
00:21:07,127 --> 00:21:09,083
Hey, hey!
357
00:21:09,127 --> 00:21:11,800
You two. Woof!
358
00:21:13,807 --> 00:21:15,798
Now, why one earth did you say that?
359
00:21:15,847 --> 00:21:20,477
I didn't want to get stuck in the car seat again.
I said the first thing that came into my head.
360
00:21:20,527 --> 00:21:23,678
Well, you really must stop
saying things like that.
361
00:21:23,727 --> 00:21:27,925
- Well, "a snooze in the garden" sounds dull.
- Yes, true.
362
00:21:30,447 --> 00:21:33,723
- Well, shall we?
- Shall we what?
363
00:21:33,767 --> 00:21:35,917
Well, have a snooze in the garden.
364
00:21:37,887 --> 00:21:39,878
Yes, OK.
365
00:21:43,007 --> 00:21:45,521
- It's lovely here.
- Yes, it is.
366
00:21:46,647 --> 00:21:48,603
We should be making a move soon.
367
00:21:48,647 --> 00:21:51,559
We're welcome to stay.
Madge and Rocky said so.
368
00:21:51,607 --> 00:21:54,041
I know. But they're having some friends round,
369
00:21:54,087 --> 00:21:57,204
and that'll degenerate
into a country and western evening.
370
00:21:57,247 --> 00:21:59,238
We'll make a move soon.
371
00:21:59,287 --> 00:22:01,278
Ah, here they are.
372
00:22:01,447 --> 00:22:05,804
You know, you amaze me, you young people.
You seem to do nothing but sprawl about.
373
00:22:05,847 --> 00:22:09,522
- What have you two been doing?
- Playing croquet. The vicious variety.
374
00:22:09,567 --> 00:22:12,843
Yes, but I'm glad we caught you.
We wanted a word.
375
00:22:12,967 --> 00:22:15,959
- Rocky, what are you doing?
- Ordering a round of drinks.
376
00:22:16,007 --> 00:22:18,965
Oh, don't worry, it's only a starter's pistol.
377
00:22:20,447 --> 00:22:23,359
It's much more civil than shouting,
don't you think?
378
00:22:23,407 --> 00:22:26,922
Well, come on, Mrs Bale,
let's be hearing from you.
379
00:22:31,247 --> 00:22:33,238
She enjoys it too, you know.
380
00:22:33,287 --> 00:22:36,006
- Now, where was I?
- Having a word.
381
00:22:36,047 --> 00:22:39,039
Ah, yes. Yes, of course.
Where shall I start, Madge?
382
00:22:39,087 --> 00:22:41,760
No shilly-shallying, plunge straight in.
383
00:22:41,807 --> 00:22:47,200
Quite right, of course.
Lionel, my boy, we want you to have the house.
384
00:22:48,607 --> 00:22:51,075
Oh, don't gawp dear. It doesn't suit you.
385
00:22:51,127 --> 00:22:53,118
I simply...
386
00:22:53,967 --> 00:22:56,322
Why do you want to give me the house?
387
00:22:56,367 --> 00:22:59,882
Well, we haven't gone peculiar,
if that's what you're implying.
388
00:22:59,927 --> 00:23:01,440
No...
389
00:23:01,487 --> 00:23:05,366
Lionel's just shocked. People
don't give away houses every day, do they?
390
00:23:05,407 --> 00:23:09,161
No, I suppose not, but, anyway,
it makes very good sense.
391
00:23:09,207 --> 00:23:14,076
You see, Madge and I are mostly globe-trotting
at the moment. We're hardly ever here.
392
00:23:14,127 --> 00:23:17,756
As a matter of fact,
we're off to Lithuania on Wednesday.
393
00:23:17,807 --> 00:23:21,800
- I didn't know anyone went to Lithuania.
- That's why we're going.
394
00:23:21,847 --> 00:23:24,884
Look here, you can't just give me a house!
395
00:23:24,927 --> 00:23:29,955
I can do anything I damn well like!
It would have come to you eventually, anyhow.
396
00:23:30,007 --> 00:23:33,317
- What about Madge?
- Oh, don't worry about me.
397
00:23:33,367 --> 00:23:37,280
I've got the cottage.
Rocky and I will use that as a base.
398
00:23:37,327 --> 00:23:40,842
- I just don't know what to say.
- I do.
399
00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:44,163
- What happens to Mrs Bale?
- We shan't have her put down!
400
00:23:44,207 --> 00:23:50,760
She can look after the cottage for us, and if you
needed help out here, just fire a starter's pistol.
401
00:23:52,047 --> 00:23:55,005
We'll have to refine this signalling system.
402
00:23:55,047 --> 00:23:58,801
One shot doesn't signify
which drink you require.
403
00:23:58,847 --> 00:24:03,443
I'm quite good at archery.
What about arrows with messages on?
404
00:24:03,487 --> 00:24:08,163
- Well, we shall see.
- We've told the young 'uns the good news.
405
00:24:08,207 --> 00:24:10,198
And have our thank yous been said?
406
00:24:10,247 --> 00:24:12,477
I'm still recovering.
407
00:24:12,527 --> 00:24:14,518
I'm very grateful, Dad.
408
00:24:14,567 --> 00:24:16,558
Oh, stuff and nonsense!
409
00:24:16,607 --> 00:24:22,159
You're a bit on the serious side for my liking,
but I'm really quite fond of you.
410
00:24:22,207 --> 00:24:26,519
I think you're dear people. Both of you.
411
00:24:26,567 --> 00:24:30,480
Just give us a few weeks to clear out
our junk, and it's all yours.
412
00:24:30,527 --> 00:24:33,644
We don't expect you to live in it
all the time, of course,
413
00:24:33,687 --> 00:24:35,962
but it'll do for weekends and so on, won't it?
414
00:24:36,007 --> 00:24:37,998
- Do?
- Do?
415
00:24:38,087 --> 00:24:40,681
I always said he'd find the right girl.
416
00:24:40,727 --> 00:24:44,561
- Took him long enough.
- Hark who's talking!
417
00:24:47,327 --> 00:24:50,444
Now, you will be kind
to your vassals and serfs, won't you?
418
00:24:50,487 --> 00:24:54,162
- What?
- Vassals and serfs.
419
00:24:54,207 --> 00:24:58,803
- What vassals and serfs?
- Ha! It doesn't matter. Drink your drink.
420
00:24:58,847 --> 00:25:00,838
Thanks.
421
00:25:01,687 --> 00:25:05,362
Do you think Mike will tell Manny
to forget all that Merry England stuff?
422
00:25:05,407 --> 00:25:08,877
- Do you know something? I don't care.
- Oh, I wish you meant that.
423
00:25:08,927 --> 00:25:13,398
I do, I really do. I'll write the second episode,
they'll mangle it, and I don't care.
424
00:25:13,447 --> 00:25:16,598
They can turn it into a musical
as far as I'm concerned.
425
00:25:16,647 --> 00:25:17,875
Oh!
426
00:25:17,927 --> 00:25:19,997
#Just two people
427
00:25:20,367 --> 00:25:21,846
#Just two people #
428
00:25:22,527 --> 00:25:24,404
I'm writing the opening number.
429
00:25:25,447 --> 00:25:27,438
Are we alone?
430
00:25:28,087 --> 00:25:29,805
Er...
431
00:25:29,847 --> 00:25:32,202
Unless there's somebody under the sofa, yes.
432
00:25:32,247 --> 00:25:34,715
- I meant Judith or Sandy.
- Yes, I know you did.
433
00:25:34,767 --> 00:25:38,237
Yes, they left a note on the fridge:
"Painting the town."
434
00:25:38,287 --> 00:25:41,085
- I'm glad.
- You're getting very liberal.
435
00:25:41,127 --> 00:25:43,925
- I mean, I'm glad they're out.
- Mm.
436
00:25:43,967 --> 00:25:48,006
So am I.
At last we've got a bit of weekend to ourselves.
437
00:25:52,407 --> 00:25:56,241
- That was very well timed.
- I didn't know you were going to lean on me.
438
00:25:56,287 --> 00:26:01,281
- I wasn't going to lean, just snuggle up.
- No, that would get in the way at the moment.
439
00:26:01,327 --> 00:26:03,318
Oh, I'm sorry.
440
00:26:03,367 --> 00:26:05,756
- The way of what?
- Well...
441
00:26:06,727 --> 00:26:10,037
All this should have happened
all those years ago.
442
00:26:10,087 --> 00:26:14,444
Your letter would have reached me in Korea
and I would have come home, and...
443
00:26:14,487 --> 00:26:16,443
Well, actually, I'd have done this.
444
00:26:18,727 --> 00:26:21,685
Ooh! But my knee wouldn't have clicked then.
445
00:26:23,407 --> 00:26:25,477
- Yes.
- No, it wouldn't.
446
00:26:25,527 --> 00:26:27,518
Yes, I will marry you.
447
00:26:28,167 --> 00:26:31,876
- Well, I haven't asked you yet.
- But you were going to, weren't you?
448
00:26:31,927 --> 00:26:35,237
Yes, but I'd sooner actually say it,
if it's all the same to you.
449
00:26:35,287 --> 00:26:37,278
Sorry.
450
00:26:37,887 --> 00:26:40,879
- Are you all right down there?
- Yes, I'm fine.
451
00:26:40,927 --> 00:26:42,804
Now, you may...
452
00:26:42,847 --> 00:26:44,838
Thank you.
453
00:26:44,887 --> 00:26:48,243
You may think that
I've taken a long while getting around to this.
454
00:26:48,287 --> 00:26:49,606
- Yes!
- What?
455
00:26:49,647 --> 00:26:51,205
No.
456
00:26:51,247 --> 00:26:53,283
- There is a reason.
- Cold feet?
457
00:26:53,327 --> 00:26:55,318
- May I finish, or not?
- Sorry, sorry.
458
00:26:56,207 --> 00:26:58,641
I didn't really have anything to offer you.
459
00:26:58,687 --> 00:27:02,282
I mean, dribs and drabs of money
from the book, the odd lecture.
460
00:27:02,327 --> 00:27:06,366
I mean, the television money, that's fine,
but it won't last forever.
461
00:27:06,407 --> 00:27:10,400
But now, with a house, I can offer you
something proper, something real.
462
00:27:10,447 --> 00:27:13,564
That's why you were going on about the money.
463
00:27:13,607 --> 00:27:17,236
It probably sounds stupid,
but that's the way I am.
464
00:27:17,287 --> 00:27:19,562
No, it's not stupid.
465
00:27:19,607 --> 00:27:21,598
And there's something else.
466
00:27:21,647 --> 00:27:23,877
- Oh, is there?
- Yes.
467
00:27:23,927 --> 00:27:27,442
I fell in love with you the first day I met you.
468
00:27:28,607 --> 00:27:31,724
And I don't think I've ever stopped loving you.
469
00:27:32,967 --> 00:27:34,764
Well, that's it, really.
470
00:27:36,407 --> 00:27:39,365
- I love you, too.
- Well, that's good.
471
00:27:40,527 --> 00:27:42,757
- Can I say yes now?
- Yes, please.
472
00:27:42,807 --> 00:27:44,763
Yes.
473
00:27:45,767 --> 00:27:47,962
There's always something, isn't there?
474
00:27:49,087 --> 00:27:51,203
- What is it?
- My knee's locked!
475
00:27:53,247 --> 00:27:55,238
It doesn't matter.
476
00:28:04,887 --> 00:28:06,878
# You must remember this
477
00:28:07,687 --> 00:28:10,042
# A kiss is still a kiss
478
00:28:10,327 --> 00:28:13,524
# A sigh is just a sigh
479
00:28:15,687 --> 00:28:19,236
# The fundamental things apply
480
00:28:19,287 --> 00:28:23,166
# As time goes by
481
00:28:26,447 --> 00:28:28,915
# And when two lovers woo
482
00:28:28,967 --> 00:28:31,800
# They still say I love you
483
00:28:31,847 --> 00:28:34,964
# On that you can rely
484
00:28:37,527 --> 00:28:41,839
# The world will always welcome lovers
485
00:28:43,567 --> 00:28:51,440
# As time goes by #
486
00:28:52,440 --> 00:29:02,440
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