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# You must remember this
2
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# A kiss is still a kiss
3
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# A sigh is just a sigh
4
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# The fundamental things apply
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# As time goes by #
6
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Nasty cough.
7
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I'm trying to find out
if anyone's in the bathroom.
8
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- Well, I'm not.
- I know you're not.
9
00:00:51,607 --> 00:00:53,802
I meant Judith or Sandy.
10
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Anyone in there?
11
00:00:59,367 --> 00:01:01,358
There's no one in there.
12
00:01:02,807 --> 00:01:04,798
I wasn't to know that, was I?
13
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Well, I should have thought
the silence spoke for itself.
14
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Why stand there coughing?
Why not just call out "Is anyone in there?"
15
00:01:12,847 --> 00:01:15,042
I wouldn't like anyone saying that to me.
16
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There's nothing worse than someone calling
that. It inhibits whatever you're doing.
17
00:01:22,007 --> 00:01:24,077
This happens to you a lot, does it?
18
00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:27,517
Not a lot, no, but I don't like it.
That's why I was coughing.
19
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From inside, it could have sounded like
somebody coughing as they passed.
20
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No, it couldn't. I was coughing at the door.
21
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I've never heard of anyone
aiming a cough before.
22
00:01:40,687 --> 00:01:43,997
- Why are we having a peculiar conversation?
- You're peculiar.
23
00:01:44,047 --> 00:01:47,642
Is not wanting to burst in
on a lot of naked women peculiar?
24
00:01:47,687 --> 00:01:51,475
Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
There's no chance of you bursting in on anyone.
25
00:01:51,527 --> 00:01:56,237
If I hadn't come along, you'd still be standing
there at lunchtime. With a very sore throat.
26
00:01:56,287 --> 00:01:58,755
It's all these women in the house, you see.
27
00:01:58,807 --> 00:02:02,686
It's Sandy. Just one extra
till she and Judy find a flat.
28
00:02:02,727 --> 00:02:04,877
Sandy does not suddenly make it
"all these women".
29
00:02:04,927 --> 00:02:07,361
All I wanted was a shower.
30
00:02:07,407 --> 00:02:11,002
Well, I'd go and have one now.
The bathroom's free.
31
00:02:16,167 --> 00:02:18,362
- Anyone in there?
- Go away!
32
00:02:20,647 --> 00:02:23,400
I do not have a suspicious nature.
33
00:02:23,447 --> 00:02:26,086
I just asked why the two of you
got up so early.
34
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- Sheer enthusiasm for work.
- I just wanted to leave the bathroom clear.
35
00:02:31,367 --> 00:02:35,121
- I'm living with a pair of little angels.
- Oh, you are, you are.
36
00:02:35,167 --> 00:02:37,362
Plus we wanted to get to the paper early.
37
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:41,923
If there are any decent flats, we want to be
at the estate agent's before he opens.
38
00:02:41,967 --> 00:02:46,836
I told you. You don't have to rush. We're
perfectly OK till you find somewhere you like.
39
00:02:46,887 --> 00:02:48,400
And Lionel?
40
00:02:48,447 --> 00:02:51,962
You weren't to know he has a thing
about cooking his own sprouts.
41
00:02:52,007 --> 00:02:55,363
I was just trying to help.
"Hard as cannonballs," he said.
42
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You cooked them properly.
He likes his sprouts the consistency of porridge.
43
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Be grateful you didn't pinch a custard tart.
That's practically a capital offence.
44
00:03:04,047 --> 00:03:06,925
Look, I don't want you two pussyfooting around.
45
00:03:06,967 --> 00:03:09,561
- He's not the lord of the manor.
- He does live here.
46
00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:12,963
- Well, so do you.
- Oh. We'd better go to work.
47
00:03:13,007 --> 00:03:16,443
Now you make him sound like
the giant coming down the beanstalk.
48
00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:19,001
No. We're a bit much for him in the mornings.
49
00:03:20,807 --> 00:03:23,241
- Morning.
- Morning.
50
00:03:25,927 --> 00:03:28,760
Why do women
always get papers in such a mess?
51
00:03:28,807 --> 00:03:31,685
- Cheerio, then.
- See you later.
52
00:03:31,727 --> 00:03:34,161
Are we going to say goodbye?
53
00:03:34,207 --> 00:03:36,562
Goodbye.
54
00:03:39,927 --> 00:03:43,442
- Is that some form of statement?
- Yes, it is.
55
00:03:43,487 --> 00:03:48,277
I've never heard anyone
make such a fuss over a few sprouts.
56
00:03:48,327 --> 00:03:51,444
It's not the sprouts. I told you.
It's all these women.
57
00:03:51,487 --> 00:03:54,877
Well, we're going to work.
When do the next lot arrive?
58
00:03:54,927 --> 00:03:59,796
Mrs Flack. I know she's not a lot,
but she seems like it sometimes.
59
00:03:59,847 --> 00:04:03,556
You've never really
come to terms with Mrs Flack, have you?
60
00:04:03,607 --> 00:04:09,443
You can't come to terms with Mrs Flack.
She never listens. She just talks and talks...
61
00:04:09,487 --> 00:04:11,079
and talks.
62
00:04:11,127 --> 00:04:14,722
- Do you want me to have a word?
- Oh, no, I don't think that's right.
63
00:04:14,767 --> 00:04:19,238
After all, it's me she's working for
so when all's said and done... Would you?
64
00:04:26,607 --> 00:04:29,121
- Mrs Flack.
- Good morning.
65
00:04:31,607 --> 00:04:35,156
I'm sorry I'm early but there was a bus strike.
66
00:04:35,207 --> 00:04:38,438
- Oh, I see.
- Is it all right if I go through?
67
00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:40,478
Yes, of course.
68
00:04:41,767 --> 00:04:45,203
Yes, only the bus strike was in New York,
you see.
69
00:04:45,967 --> 00:04:47,764
You live in Chiswick.
70
00:04:47,807 --> 00:04:52,323
But I didn't realise it was in New York
when I heard it on the radio last night.
71
00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:56,485
You know how it is when you're on your own.
You listen to the radio in bed
72
00:04:56,527 --> 00:04:59,803
and sometimes you doze off
and don't get things right.
73
00:04:59,847 --> 00:05:05,080
I just got it into my head that the bus strike
was here so I set off early to walk here.
74
00:05:05,127 --> 00:05:07,925
You didn't walk
when you found the buses were running.
75
00:05:07,967 --> 00:05:11,403
Oh, no. When I realised my mistake,
I hopped on one.
76
00:05:11,447 --> 00:05:14,325
- Which is why...
- I'm early. Yes, of course.
77
00:05:14,367 --> 00:05:16,085
I did feel a fool.
78
00:05:16,127 --> 00:05:19,722
I wouldn't worry.
It's the kind of thing that can happen to anyone.
79
00:05:19,767 --> 00:05:23,999
Mrs Flack, now that you are here,
I'd like a word regarding you and Mr Hardcastle.
80
00:05:24,047 --> 00:05:26,481
- You've been to New York.
- Once or twice, yes.
81
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:30,406
Yes. Were you mugged?
Most people are, apparently.
82
00:05:31,567 --> 00:05:34,206
No. I must have been the exception.
83
00:05:34,247 --> 00:05:36,317
About you and Mr Hardcastle...
84
00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:41,122
He's been to New York to talk with the
American people about the script he's writing.
85
00:05:41,167 --> 00:05:44,398
Los Angeles, actually.
Regarding Mr Hardcastle's work...
86
00:05:44,447 --> 00:05:46,836
Oh, he's doing ever so well,
87
00:05:46,887 --> 00:05:50,118
except for sometimes
when he loses track of what he's saying.
88
00:05:50,167 --> 00:05:54,285
Yes, well, perhaps something makes him
lose track of what he's saying.
89
00:05:54,327 --> 00:05:56,887
- You went with him.
- Where?
90
00:05:56,927 --> 00:05:59,487
To Los Angeles. He told me.
91
00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:01,518
Did you see any film stars?
92
00:06:01,567 --> 00:06:03,717
Er... No. Well, no, not really.
93
00:06:03,767 --> 00:06:07,840
You see, when you're working,
when you're trying to concentrate,
94
00:06:07,887 --> 00:06:10,481
it isn't good to have too many distractions.
95
00:06:10,527 --> 00:06:12,324
- Oh, I see.
- Good.
96
00:06:12,367 --> 00:06:14,676
So you didn't look for any.
97
00:06:14,727 --> 00:06:16,445
What?
98
00:06:16,487 --> 00:06:18,000
Film stars.
99
00:06:18,047 --> 00:06:22,962
I mean, if you'd gone looking for film stars, that
would have been a distraction, wouldn't it?
100
00:06:23,007 --> 00:06:25,077
Well...
101
00:06:25,127 --> 00:06:27,243
Oh, will you excuse me?
102
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:32,520
I used to like Warner Baxter
but I suppose he was before your time.
103
00:06:32,567 --> 00:06:35,081
Oh. Yes.
104
00:06:38,487 --> 00:06:41,047
- Did you have a word?
- Sort of. I had a sort of word.
105
00:06:41,087 --> 00:06:43,317
- And?
- I got sidetracked.
106
00:06:43,367 --> 00:06:44,641
That's what she does to me.
107
00:06:44,687 --> 00:06:48,282
But I've laid down foundations
for a sensible discussion.
108
00:06:48,327 --> 00:06:51,080
- Which you're going to have.
- I've got to go to work.
109
00:06:51,127 --> 00:06:52,321
Thanks very much.
110
00:06:53,087 --> 00:06:55,396
Incidentally, why is she so early?
111
00:06:55,447 --> 00:06:59,042
Do you remember Warner Baxter, Mr Hardcastle?
112
00:06:59,087 --> 00:07:01,203
Warner Baxter?
113
00:07:01,247 --> 00:07:03,841
See you later.
114
00:07:03,887 --> 00:07:06,276
Mrs Flack will explain why she's so early.
115
00:07:06,327 --> 00:07:10,718
You won't believe this
but it was because of a bus strike in New York.
116
00:07:13,127 --> 00:07:15,561
She did say a bus strike in New York,
didn't she?
117
00:07:15,607 --> 00:07:17,404
Bye.
118
00:07:24,327 --> 00:07:27,444
Yes, Mr Milner,
that'll be absolutely fine.
119
00:07:27,487 --> 00:07:29,637
Thank you. Bye-bye.
120
00:07:30,887 --> 00:07:34,084
So why didn't she check
to see if there was a bus strike?
121
00:07:34,127 --> 00:07:38,757
Oh, I didn't get round to asking that.
She'd moved the conversation on by then.
122
00:07:38,807 --> 00:07:44,040
Once Mrs Flack moves the conversation on,
it's very difficult to get it back to where it was.
123
00:07:44,087 --> 00:07:47,477
- Poor old Lionel.
- He'll just have to be firm with her, that's all.
124
00:07:47,527 --> 00:07:48,801
Like you were?
125
00:07:48,847 --> 00:07:53,204
Well, it was the thought of her lying in bed
listening to the radio all on her own.
126
00:07:53,247 --> 00:07:55,363
Daisy's here. Can she see you?
127
00:07:55,407 --> 00:07:57,125
- Daisy?
- Mm.
128
00:07:57,167 --> 00:07:58,395
Yes, of course.
129
00:07:58,447 --> 00:08:02,360
- Lionel's dream secretary.
- You can see why, can't you?
130
00:08:02,407 --> 00:08:04,637
- Hello.
- Come in, Daisy. Sit down.
131
00:08:04,687 --> 00:08:08,043
Thank you. I feel silly.
132
00:08:08,087 --> 00:08:11,716
Oh, well, I wouldn't worry.
I've felt silly all morning. What is it?
133
00:08:11,767 --> 00:08:16,124
Well, may I come off your branch's books
and onto yours, please?
134
00:08:16,167 --> 00:08:18,237
- Why?
- Sally Curtis.
135
00:08:18,287 --> 00:08:23,805
- I was asking Daisy.
- Sally Curtis. I don't want to sound disloyal.
136
00:08:23,847 --> 00:08:26,998
You may have to
but we'll call it being frank. Go on.
137
00:08:27,047 --> 00:08:31,962
It's the jobs she gives me. They're all...
Well, it's always working for a man.
138
00:08:32,007 --> 00:08:36,842
And when I turn up, I always find
she's described me as bright and attractive.
139
00:08:36,887 --> 00:08:41,802
It's the attractive bit that doesn't seem
necessary. I don't see that it's relevant, do you?
140
00:08:43,127 --> 00:08:44,321
Well...
141
00:08:44,367 --> 00:08:48,280
I mean, you wouldn't describe a secretary
as bright and plain, would you?
142
00:08:48,327 --> 00:08:49,726
I wouldn't do that.
143
00:08:49,767 --> 00:08:55,763
I just get the feeling Sally Curtis is using me as
some showpiece. Honestly, I'm fed up with it.
144
00:09:02,327 --> 00:09:06,559
You know, Daisy, when I was a nurse,
the male patients use to flirt with me.
145
00:09:06,607 --> 00:09:10,646
- I used to get offended when they didn't.
- That was a long time ago, though.
146
00:09:12,367 --> 00:09:16,360
I wasn't in the Crimea with Florence Nightingale,
you know.
147
00:09:16,407 --> 00:09:19,046
- Sorry.
- But you're right. Times have changed.
148
00:09:19,087 --> 00:09:23,046
All right. I'll put you down on our books
and only describe you as "bright".
149
00:09:23,087 --> 00:09:24,600
I'm ever so grateful.
150
00:09:30,847 --> 00:09:33,520
What does "Give her to Lionel" mean?
151
00:09:34,647 --> 00:09:37,081
Er... Lionel. Mum's Lionel.
152
00:09:37,127 --> 00:09:39,721
You worked with him once.
You got on really well.
153
00:09:39,767 --> 00:09:44,716
Yes, well, I thought so. I only lasted a day,
then I was told I was unsuitable.
154
00:09:44,767 --> 00:09:49,124
Yes, well, that was a mix-up.
Anyway, Lionel's already got a secretary.
155
00:09:49,167 --> 00:09:50,725
Driving him up the wall.
156
00:09:50,767 --> 00:09:54,840
Anyway, Daisy, I should point out
that Lionel found you very attractive.
157
00:09:54,887 --> 00:09:59,915
I don't mind being found attractive.
I don't like being pre-sold as attractive.
158
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:02,162
I think I see what you mean.
159
00:10:02,207 --> 00:10:04,960
- Well, that's all fixed up, then.
- No, it isn't.
160
00:10:05,007 --> 00:10:09,285
Mrs Flack may be talkative,
but you can't just replace her for that.
161
00:10:09,327 --> 00:10:12,364
- No, of course you can't.
- Good. Sandy?
162
00:10:12,407 --> 00:10:14,523
Well, I thought it was a great idea.
163
00:10:16,007 --> 00:10:19,761
I would describe Sandy
as bright with exceptional hearing.
164
00:10:19,807 --> 00:10:22,685
Will you look
and see if there's anything for Daisy?
165
00:10:22,727 --> 00:10:27,357
Right. Come on, Daisy. Let's see
if we can find you a harmless old man.
166
00:10:29,127 --> 00:10:32,085
Lionel's a harmless old man.
167
00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:36,240
He's not old and he's certainly not harmless.
168
00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:39,643
In case you've forgotten, he tried to seduce you
when he met you.
169
00:10:39,687 --> 00:10:43,077
He didn't try very hard,
and he didn't know I was your daughter.
170
00:10:43,127 --> 00:10:47,723
Well, he still tried.
Anyway, Mrs Flack is perfectly efficient.
171
00:10:47,767 --> 00:10:51,476
If Lionel can't just quieten her down a bit,
then it's his affair.
172
00:10:51,527 --> 00:10:53,722
- You're the boss.
- Yes, I am.
173
00:10:53,767 --> 00:10:57,123
You know,
it's a good job Lionel didn't seduce me.
174
00:10:57,167 --> 00:11:01,206
If things had gone on from there,
he might have ended up calling you Mum.
175
00:11:04,007 --> 00:11:05,918
Come in, Alistair.
176
00:11:05,967 --> 00:11:07,605
Hi, Li.
177
00:11:07,647 --> 00:11:11,356
I'll leave you two to chat, then.
I'll find something to do.
178
00:11:11,407 --> 00:11:18,404
I'll finish telling you about my cousin
with the inflamed tendon later, Mr Hardcastle.
179
00:11:18,447 --> 00:11:19,926
She will, as well.
180
00:11:19,967 --> 00:11:23,755
I have to say, Li, it's difficult to know
where that lady's coming from.
181
00:11:23,807 --> 00:11:25,559
I just wish she'd go back.
182
00:11:25,607 --> 00:11:28,246
- Give her the big E.
- What?
183
00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:31,723
- The elbow.
- How do I do that?
184
00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:36,795
Simple. Look her in the eye and say, "Hey, we
don't mix. Let's jump into different bowls."
185
00:11:36,847 --> 00:11:40,044
I can barely understand that.
I'm sure Mrs Flack won't.
186
00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:44,318
OK. Try something subtler.
187
00:11:44,367 --> 00:11:47,040
Say, "You're sacked."
188
00:11:47,087 --> 00:11:49,601
I can't do that. There's no harm in the woman.
189
00:11:49,647 --> 00:11:53,401
- You're getting too cuddly, Li.
- I refute cuddly.
190
00:11:53,447 --> 00:11:56,644
- It's just that she...
- I have to say, Lionel.
191
00:11:56,687 --> 00:11:59,759
Staff problems are not a tolerant area for me.
192
00:11:59,807 --> 00:12:03,686
- You never have any, of course.
- Correct. They please or they leave.
193
00:12:03,727 --> 00:12:05,558
- That's my motto.
- I shouldn't have asked.
194
00:12:05,607 --> 00:12:09,486
- Can we move onto more interesting areas?
- Like what?
195
00:12:09,527 --> 00:12:11,358
Sex.
196
00:12:12,847 --> 00:12:15,156
- Sex?
- Right.
197
00:12:15,207 --> 00:12:17,516
I've been talking to Mike and Sol in La.
198
00:12:17,567 --> 00:12:22,402
I know La is LA but I thought it was Mike
and Cy we were dealing with.
199
00:12:22,447 --> 00:12:24,881
We were, but Cy is off the team.
200
00:12:24,927 --> 00:12:27,316
What, dropped for not scoring?
201
00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:35,482
- In a way, yes. Cy is in therapy.
- He was when we met in Los Angeles.
202
00:12:35,527 --> 00:12:39,156
I know, but when I say "in therapy" now,
the emphasis is on "in".
203
00:12:39,207 --> 00:12:43,439
- You mean he's gone crackers?
- Let's just call it executive stress, hm?
204
00:12:43,487 --> 00:12:47,082
But that needn't rattle our rafters.
Sol, who's taken over from Cy,
205
00:12:47,127 --> 00:12:49,402
is even keener on your miniseries than Cy.
206
00:12:49,447 --> 00:12:53,486
Sol's read the draft of your first episode
and has gone crazy.
207
00:12:53,527 --> 00:12:56,405
What, he's gonna join Cy in his padded cell?
208
00:12:57,567 --> 00:12:59,398
I mean, he loves it.
209
00:12:59,447 --> 00:13:02,564
- But...
- Now why should there be a but?
210
00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:06,646
Because against my better judgment,
I'm getting used to this weird business.
211
00:13:06,687 --> 00:13:08,996
OK. But it's a mini but.
212
00:13:09,047 --> 00:13:12,039
Which brings us back to sex.
213
00:13:12,087 --> 00:13:16,399
I mean, the part in the script
where you and Jean... hey, hey.
214
00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:18,597
For the first time.
215
00:13:18,647 --> 00:13:19,636
Yes?
216
00:13:19,687 --> 00:13:23,236
Sol found it... How shall I put this?
217
00:13:23,287 --> 00:13:25,676
- As carefully as you can.
- Naturally.
218
00:13:26,487 --> 00:13:28,796
The word, Li, is dull.
219
00:13:28,847 --> 00:13:31,998
Then the man has no imagination.
220
00:13:32,047 --> 00:13:35,164
It comes down
to what you actually put on the page, hm?
221
00:13:35,207 --> 00:13:38,244
Sol found that it didn't leap out and hit him.
222
00:13:38,287 --> 00:13:40,437
- Well, it should.
- But it doesn't.
223
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,559
- Then that's his hard luck.
- Wrong, Li. It's yours.
224
00:13:43,607 --> 00:13:46,679
Look. I've re-read it myself.
225
00:13:46,727 --> 00:13:51,676
And to be, like, super honest, it doesn't
actually say what happened that night.
226
00:13:51,727 --> 00:13:54,685
We slept together for the first time.
What do you think?
227
00:13:54,727 --> 00:13:58,197
- We're missing each other, aren't we?
- We frequently do.
228
00:13:58,247 --> 00:14:01,842
Look, mate. It's a love scene, hmm?
229
00:14:01,887 --> 00:14:08,599
And the sexiest line you've got in it is, er,
"Shall I ask for a morning wake-up call?"
230
00:14:12,047 --> 00:14:16,245
- Have another look at it, please.
- I refuse to be explicit.
231
00:14:16,287 --> 00:14:20,565
Nobody's talking explicit. Just X.
232
00:14:22,007 --> 00:14:24,316
Try a little rewrite. Just for me.
233
00:14:24,367 --> 00:14:28,201
- You mean Sol.
- And Sol. And the money.
234
00:14:29,527 --> 00:14:31,836
Now you're appealing to my finer nature.
235
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:37,198
Well, good night, Mrs Flack.
236
00:14:38,927 --> 00:14:41,646
What about something like
237
00:14:41,687 --> 00:14:46,761
"She trembled
as he slowly unbuttoned her blouse.
238
00:14:46,807 --> 00:14:51,244
"It slid unnoticed to the floor as his hands
moved towards her..."
239
00:14:51,287 --> 00:14:53,118
Mrs Flack, please.
240
00:14:53,167 --> 00:14:56,603
- I'm not gonna write anything like that.
- It's on the right lines.
241
00:14:56,647 --> 00:14:59,764
- Don't you start.
- Are you sure you don't like my idea
242
00:14:59,807 --> 00:15:02,162
of putting lots of gasps in?
243
00:15:02,207 --> 00:15:04,721
I'm not enamoured, no. I'll think of something.
244
00:15:04,767 --> 00:15:09,477
I'm sure you will. It's something
to look forward to tomorrow, isn't it?
245
00:15:09,527 --> 00:15:13,315
- Absolutely.
- That's what the late Mr Flack used to say.
246
00:15:13,367 --> 00:15:15,835
"There's always tomorrow," he used to say.
247
00:15:15,887 --> 00:15:19,163
- Did he really?
- Then one day there wasn't a tomorrow.
248
00:15:19,967 --> 00:15:25,599
- Not for him. Well, see you tomorrow.
- Yes, good night, Mrs Flack.
249
00:15:25,647 --> 00:15:31,165
I never did finish telling you
about my cousin's inflamed tendon, did I?
250
00:15:31,207 --> 00:15:32,606
No.
251
00:15:32,647 --> 00:15:36,322
How we got on
to talking about steam engines I don't know.
252
00:15:36,367 --> 00:15:39,359
It's funny the turns conversation takes, isn't it?
253
00:15:39,407 --> 00:15:41,967
Yes, isn't it? Good night, Mrs Flack.
254
00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:47,479
Good night. I'll bring you up to date
on the inflamed tendon tomorrow, shall I?
255
00:15:56,007 --> 00:15:57,599
Thank you.
256
00:15:59,047 --> 00:16:01,515
Ah, Mrs Flack.
257
00:16:01,567 --> 00:16:05,276
Hello, Miss Pargetter. Just off.
258
00:16:05,327 --> 00:16:09,445
- Would you like our cab?
- Oh, no. I can't run to taxis.
259
00:16:09,487 --> 00:16:13,275
I shall get the bus,
take Herriot for a walk and get our tea.
260
00:16:13,327 --> 00:16:17,286
- You're fond of Herriot, aren't you?
- Of course I am. He's my best friend.
261
00:16:17,327 --> 00:16:19,158
Good night. Good night.
262
00:16:19,207 --> 00:16:20,720
Good night.
263
00:16:20,767 --> 00:16:23,486
There's something indomitable about Mrs Flack.
264
00:16:23,527 --> 00:16:26,599
Her best friend is a Yorkshire terrier.
265
00:16:26,647 --> 00:16:30,322
She's lonely.
Do you still think Daisy's a good idea?
266
00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:39,642
- Woo-hoo-hoo! Stay right there.
- Why?
267
00:16:39,687 --> 00:16:43,885
Because framed in that doorway,
you don't look a day over 30.
268
00:16:43,927 --> 00:16:47,476
I'd up the age. I've got two children with me.
269
00:16:47,527 --> 00:16:50,997
- Hey, this is too much.
- That's what Lionel says.
270
00:16:51,047 --> 00:16:53,322
Only he doesn't mean quite the same thing.
271
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:59,237
- Where have you been lately?
- You know. Around.
272
00:17:03,807 --> 00:17:07,083
- Did I say something?
- No, you didn't. That's the trouble.
273
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:10,881
- Excuse me. I'm going to get changed.
- I would say, "Would you like any help"
274
00:17:10,927 --> 00:17:12,645
Yes, I thought you might.
275
00:17:12,687 --> 00:17:15,759
I'm rather off the road here.
Have you moved in?
276
00:17:15,807 --> 00:17:18,321
- Only till I find a flat.
- My God.
277
00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:21,837
Living with three gorgeous women
and Lionel's still miserable.
278
00:17:21,887 --> 00:17:23,764
I undercooked his sprouts.
279
00:17:31,087 --> 00:17:34,363
I could live with undercooked sprouts
if I was in your shoes, Li.
280
00:17:34,407 --> 00:17:36,363
Yes, I'm sure you could.
281
00:17:36,407 --> 00:17:38,204
Look what I've made you.
282
00:17:38,247 --> 00:17:40,283
It looks revolting.
283
00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:42,795
Are those the words of a man
who'll try anything?
284
00:17:42,847 --> 00:17:44,883
- No, they're mine.
- Hello, Lionel.
285
00:17:44,927 --> 00:17:46,838
Hello.
286
00:17:46,887 --> 00:17:49,799
- Ah. Have you depressed him?
- Would I do that?
287
00:17:49,847 --> 00:17:54,318
Er, Mike and Sol want
some rewrites for the first episode.
288
00:17:54,367 --> 00:17:57,404
Oh, I see. Shouldn't that be Mike and Cy?
289
00:17:57,447 --> 00:18:00,564
- Mm-mm. Cy is yesterday.
- He's gone crackers.
290
00:18:00,607 --> 00:18:04,202
Well, I can't say I'm surprised.
How many rewrites?
291
00:18:04,247 --> 00:18:09,241
Minimal. Just one scene. If Li wasn't so fazed
by Mrs Flack, he'd have done them by now.
292
00:18:09,287 --> 00:18:13,075
I'm not fazed by Mrs Flack.
I'm being driven to distraction by Mrs Flack.
293
00:18:13,127 --> 00:18:15,516
- Oh, dear.
- Come on, mate. Pick yourself up.
294
00:18:15,567 --> 00:18:19,355
- Drink your Gigolo's Pardon.
- I don't even like the name of it.
295
00:18:19,407 --> 00:18:22,080
What exactly is Gigolo's Pardon?
296
00:18:22,127 --> 00:18:27,565
Espresso coffee with warm amaretto
which you drink through the cream on the top.
297
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,677
- That sounds nice.
- You drink it, then.
298
00:18:29,727 --> 00:18:32,560
- Li.
- Oh, all right.
299
00:18:35,927 --> 00:18:37,883
As I said, you drink it.
300
00:18:41,967 --> 00:18:43,958
That's delicious.
301
00:18:45,487 --> 00:18:49,765
You know, I might give an espresso machine to
Judy and Sandy for a housewarming present.
302
00:18:49,807 --> 00:18:52,446
Judy and Sandy?
303
00:18:52,487 --> 00:18:56,196
Yes. They're getting a flat together.
304
00:18:56,247 --> 00:18:58,920
- Eventually.
- Oh, right.
305
00:18:58,967 --> 00:19:00,923
I see.
306
00:19:00,967 --> 00:19:04,676
Er... Would you... excuse me for a moment?
307
00:19:06,287 --> 00:19:08,437
- His feathers are ruffled.
- Why?
308
00:19:08,487 --> 00:19:12,719
Look. I'll pour you a nice large scotch
309
00:19:12,767 --> 00:19:15,406
and we'll call it Gigolo's Last Stand.
310
00:19:18,687 --> 00:19:21,247
- Flat hunting?
- Yes.
311
00:19:21,287 --> 00:19:24,359
I'd have thought
you'd prefer somewhere on your own.
312
00:19:24,407 --> 00:19:26,557
I don't function very well on my own.
313
00:19:26,607 --> 00:19:29,724
Well, you wouldn't be, some of the time.
314
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,601
- But if you move in with Sandy...
- Clear off.
315
00:19:34,447 --> 00:19:38,042
- Come again.
- Clear off.
316
00:19:38,087 --> 00:19:40,203
I'm fed up with you taking me for granted.
317
00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:44,684
- Now when have I ever done that?
- Come to think of it, most of the time.
318
00:19:44,727 --> 00:19:47,400
- Now hold on, baby.
- No, you hold on, baby.
319
00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:49,403
I'm just supposed to be available.
320
00:19:49,447 --> 00:19:53,326
I don't get a peep out of you for weeks,
and then it's "Oh, you know. Around."
321
00:19:53,367 --> 00:19:56,439
On top of that, you don't want me
to share a flat with Sandy
322
00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:58,762
because it might interfere with your life.
323
00:19:58,807 --> 00:20:00,923
Well, I've got my life, Alistair.
324
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:05,597
And if leading it denies me the pleasures
of your not-so-perfect body, tough.
325
00:20:11,567 --> 00:20:13,797
Are you off?
326
00:20:16,087 --> 00:20:18,555
Positively rancid, apparently.
327
00:20:21,167 --> 00:20:23,806
- Row?
- Major.
328
00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:27,237
Don't worry. I'm not going to throw myself
on the bed and cry.
329
00:20:27,287 --> 00:20:31,360
Good. Cos actually,
I'd like you to take a look at your room.
330
00:20:31,407 --> 00:20:34,444
- Why?
- To see if you notice anything.
331
00:20:39,807 --> 00:20:43,766
- Rewrites?
- No, I'm writing to Mrs Flack.
332
00:20:43,807 --> 00:20:47,197
Mrs Flack? She was here half an hour ago.
333
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:49,636
I told you. She doesn't listen to a word I say.
334
00:20:49,687 --> 00:20:53,043
I'm hoping the written word
might prolong her attention span.
335
00:20:53,087 --> 00:20:57,080
Oh, Lionel! You can't!
336
00:20:57,127 --> 00:21:01,200
Either she goes or I'm joining Cy
on his Californian funny farm.
337
00:21:02,847 --> 00:21:05,645
If I had a white feather,
I'd stick it up your nose.
338
00:21:05,687 --> 00:21:08,884
- I beg your pardon.
- You haven't the nerve to tell it to her face.
339
00:21:08,927 --> 00:21:10,883
- You would have, I suppose.
- Yes.
340
00:21:10,927 --> 00:21:13,885
- What would you say?
- I'd say "See here, Mrs Flack."
341
00:21:13,927 --> 00:21:16,202
See here?
342
00:21:16,247 --> 00:21:20,525
We're not talking about me, we're talking
about you. You can't write her a letter.
343
00:21:20,567 --> 00:21:23,877
Is this the man who played rugby
against the Parachute Regiment?
344
00:21:23,927 --> 00:21:26,566
Who stood up to a hostile mule in Korea?
345
00:21:26,607 --> 00:21:28,996
- They were blokes.
- The mule wasn't.
346
00:21:29,047 --> 00:21:31,641
Mules aren't one thing or another.
347
00:21:31,687 --> 00:21:34,406
Mrs Flack is a woman,
we can agree on that, can't we?
348
00:21:34,447 --> 00:21:37,086
- Cowardy custard.
- Now we're getting childish.
349
00:21:37,127 --> 00:21:40,563
That from a man writing a letter
to someone he'll see in the morning?
350
00:21:40,607 --> 00:21:44,520
That carries absolutely no weight.
Lionel, you can't sack her.
351
00:21:44,567 --> 00:21:47,240
Working with her
is like trying to swim in treacle.
352
00:21:47,287 --> 00:21:49,278
- There's a way round it.
- What?
353
00:21:50,247 --> 00:21:53,956
- Well, I haven't worked it out yet.
- So why can't we just sack her?
354
00:21:54,007 --> 00:21:57,204
Because her best friend's a Yorkshire terrier.
355
00:21:57,247 --> 00:21:59,807
That's hardly a sound commercial reason.
356
00:21:59,847 --> 00:22:03,999
Well, I know it isn't. Because she's a lonely
woman who likes working for you.
357
00:22:04,047 --> 00:22:05,958
She likes talking to you.
358
00:22:06,007 --> 00:22:08,999
I don't want her to talk to me.
I'm not a ladies' companion.
359
00:22:09,047 --> 00:22:12,517
You can't sack her, Lionel.
I honestly don't think you can do that.
360
00:22:12,567 --> 00:22:15,843
Er... Mum? Could we have a word?
361
00:22:15,887 --> 00:22:17,843
Yes, course.
362
00:22:19,327 --> 00:22:21,283
Oh. Do you mind, Lionel?
363
00:22:21,327 --> 00:22:23,477
No, I've finished working. You carry on.
364
00:22:27,447 --> 00:22:29,642
Oh, I see. It's girlie talk.
365
00:22:30,807 --> 00:22:33,241
- Girlie talk?
- I don't mind.
366
00:22:33,287 --> 00:22:35,847
I'll, er... I'll go and have a custard tart.
367
00:22:38,407 --> 00:22:40,762
Well, what is it?
368
00:22:40,807 --> 00:22:45,676
Well, it's a bit awkward.
And I don't believe it for a moment.
369
00:22:45,727 --> 00:22:49,800
Oh, I don't believe it for a moment either.
It's just a bit awkward.
370
00:22:49,847 --> 00:22:53,396
This conversation isn't exactly
zooming along, is it?
371
00:22:53,447 --> 00:22:56,962
Someone's been going through my things.
My clothes.
372
00:22:57,007 --> 00:22:58,565
And mine.
373
00:22:58,607 --> 00:23:01,758
Oh, you're not suggesting Lionel?
374
00:23:01,807 --> 00:23:05,482
- No.
- No, we don't believe that for a moment.
375
00:23:05,527 --> 00:23:09,679
- Then why did you want him out of the room?
- We didn't do it and we know you didn't.
376
00:23:09,727 --> 00:23:12,446
Well, nor would Lionel.
377
00:23:12,487 --> 00:23:15,399
Of all things,
I haven't got him down as a cross-dresser.
378
00:23:15,447 --> 00:23:19,076
He's coughing again. Come in, Lionel.
379
00:23:21,567 --> 00:23:26,004
- Sorry to interrupt.
- It's all right. You know trivial girlie talk is.
380
00:23:26,047 --> 00:23:28,766
You've all got funny expressions on your faces.
381
00:23:28,807 --> 00:23:33,119
- Why did you interrupt?
- The kitchen has been rifled.
382
00:23:33,167 --> 00:23:35,203
I couldn't find my custard tarts.
383
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:37,841
I'd hardly describe that as it being rifled.
384
00:23:37,887 --> 00:23:41,402
I hadn't finished.
I looked in another cupboard for them
385
00:23:41,447 --> 00:23:43,483
and then another and then it struck me.
386
00:23:43,527 --> 00:23:46,121
Everything's been moved. It's all rearranged.
387
00:23:46,167 --> 00:23:49,239
- I didn't do it.
- Of course you didn't. None of you did.
388
00:23:49,287 --> 00:23:53,724
Cos you've been out all day.
Which leaves Mrs Flack.
389
00:23:56,007 --> 00:24:00,000
- Something I don't know about?
- Somebody's been going through clothes.
390
00:24:03,007 --> 00:24:06,477
- Mrs Flack?
- But she was with you all day.
391
00:24:06,527 --> 00:24:09,803
No, not all day.
Not when I was talking to Alistair.
392
00:24:09,847 --> 00:24:13,840
Not when Alistair and I
went to the pub to seek sanctuary.
393
00:24:13,887 --> 00:24:17,766
I must say, I didn't think
she pinched clothes on the side.
394
00:24:17,807 --> 00:24:21,482
Oh, no, nothing was stolen.
Things were just... rearranged.
395
00:24:21,527 --> 00:24:24,360
It seems she's a compulsive tidier.
396
00:24:24,407 --> 00:24:26,967
- Is this what you wanted to tell Jean?
- Yes.
397
00:24:27,007 --> 00:24:29,521
Why did you want me out of the room?
398
00:24:29,567 --> 00:24:33,242
- If I thought for one moment that you...
- Oh, don't be silly.
399
00:24:33,287 --> 00:24:36,438
The conversation was just a bit personal,
that's all.
400
00:24:36,487 --> 00:24:39,604
Oh, I see. Well, fair enough.
401
00:24:40,927 --> 00:24:43,600
Well, that brings us back to Mrs Flack,
doesn't it?
402
00:24:43,647 --> 00:24:48,277
- Well, she didn't actually do any harm.
- It is a bit weird though, isn't it?
403
00:24:48,327 --> 00:24:52,718
Mm. Where will it end? I tell you this,
I don't want her rearranging my pants.
404
00:24:55,087 --> 00:24:57,965
Nor mine. Well, that settles it. She has to go.
405
00:24:58,007 --> 00:25:01,363
- At last.
- Well, Lionel can tell her in the morning.
406
00:25:05,807 --> 00:25:10,323
I mean, it is possible to read a paper
without getting it into a state like this.
407
00:25:10,367 --> 00:25:11,925
I'll tell them.
408
00:25:13,487 --> 00:25:16,001
Well, I'll see you later then.
409
00:25:16,047 --> 00:25:18,356
I've never known the house empty so quickly.
410
00:25:18,407 --> 00:25:21,319
Now, you will talk to her.
You won't just write a letter.
411
00:25:21,367 --> 00:25:24,723
No, I'll talk to her.
Goodness knows what I'm gonna say.
412
00:25:24,767 --> 00:25:27,918
I should take
the "professionally incompatible" line.
413
00:25:27,967 --> 00:25:32,722
I shall have to. I certainly don't intend to go
into why she rearranges women's underwear.
414
00:25:32,767 --> 00:25:35,725
- You could mention the custard tarts.
- No, better not.
415
00:25:35,767 --> 00:25:38,235
It's in the same area, really, isn't it?
416
00:25:40,487 --> 00:25:42,398
Strange combination.
417
00:25:42,447 --> 00:25:46,963
Why do something like that? What makes
someone do something like that?
418
00:25:47,007 --> 00:25:50,761
It's not ill-intentioned.
It is loneliness, I suppose.
419
00:25:50,807 --> 00:25:55,597
- We're back on the Yorkshire terrier, are we?
- No. Look, I'll leave it up to you.
420
00:25:55,647 --> 00:25:59,037
- Oh, thanks very much.
- But let her down lightly.
421
00:25:59,087 --> 00:26:02,284
More advice
and I'll lock you in a cupboard till she arrives.
422
00:26:02,327 --> 00:26:05,046
There is a reward for all this, you know.
423
00:26:05,087 --> 00:26:08,124
- Daisy.
- Daisy?
424
00:26:08,167 --> 00:26:10,681
She's on my books now. You did like her.
425
00:26:10,727 --> 00:26:13,082
Yes, I did, I did.
426
00:26:15,447 --> 00:26:18,405
And if she's pretty, she's pretty.
I can live with that.
427
00:26:18,447 --> 00:26:20,722
Yes, so can I.
428
00:26:21,727 --> 00:26:22,955
Yes.
429
00:26:23,007 --> 00:26:27,046
And she's very bright, as well. She's so helpful.
430
00:26:27,087 --> 00:26:29,442
You'll be able to get on with your rewrites.
431
00:26:29,487 --> 00:26:32,479
Mm. Hopefully, yes.
432
00:26:32,527 --> 00:26:36,884
Well, I forgot to ask. What bit
does this new chap want rewriting?
433
00:26:36,927 --> 00:26:39,680
- Oh, it's just a scene, really.
- Which scene?
434
00:26:41,087 --> 00:26:42,839
The bedroom scene.
435
00:26:44,207 --> 00:26:46,437
- Oh, I see.
- Well, you did ask.
436
00:26:46,487 --> 00:26:48,478
Yes, I did ask.
437
00:26:56,167 --> 00:26:58,965
Well, I'll talk to Daisy today, then.
438
00:26:59,007 --> 00:27:02,079
- Thank you.
- You're not to go soft on Mrs Flack.
439
00:27:02,127 --> 00:27:05,961
Nothing Mrs Flack can say or do
will make me go soft on her, I promise.
440
00:27:06,007 --> 00:27:07,759
She can...
441
00:27:07,807 --> 00:27:09,763
- Oh, lord...
- What?
442
00:27:12,367 --> 00:27:15,996
Look at me. It's Herriot's fault, bless him.
443
00:27:16,047 --> 00:27:20,677
His lead got twisted and I went over.
Broke an ankle.
444
00:27:20,727 --> 00:27:25,039
Still, here I am, ready to go.
445
00:27:25,967 --> 00:27:27,639
I've gone soft.
446
00:27:27,687 --> 00:27:29,564
So have I.
447
00:27:33,727 --> 00:27:35,763
Mrs Flack...
448
00:27:38,367 --> 00:27:40,835
# You must remember this
449
00:27:40,887 --> 00:27:43,799
# A kiss is still a kiss
450
00:27:43,847 --> 00:27:47,044
# A sigh is just a sigh
451
00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:52,921
# The fundamental things apply
452
00:27:52,967 --> 00:27:56,755
# As time goes by
453
00:27:59,967 --> 00:28:02,720
# And when two lovers woo
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00:28:02,767 --> 00:28:05,406
# They still say I love you
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# On that you can rely
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# The world will always welcome lovers
457
00:28:16,687 --> 00:28:24,958
# As time goes by #
458
00:28:25,958 --> 00:28:35,958
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