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1
00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:06,090
( upbeat piano theme playing )
2
00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:09,590
Good night, Helen.
Oh, hold on, Brian.
3
00:00:09,590 --> 00:00:12,100
You know, I've been meaning
to tell you all day that
4
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:14,100
that shirt looks
really good on you.
5
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:16,100
Hm. Thank you.
Yeah, uh--
6
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:18,600
You know, um...
7
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,100
I've always
thought that
8
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:23,110
you were really
handsome...
9
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:25,610
and so sexy.
10
00:00:25,610 --> 00:00:27,610
Helen, what are you doing?
11
00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:29,610
Something I wanted
to do for a long time.
12
00:00:31,610 --> 00:00:33,120
Oh--
13
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,620
( percussion theme playing )
14
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,120
Nurse Cochran,
need two pints of blood,
15
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,620
50 milligrams
of Demerol.
16
00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:42,130
FAY:
Yes, Doctor Mather.
And we have to hurry
17
00:00:42,130 --> 00:00:44,630
because there were 49 others
in the car with him.
18
00:00:48,130 --> 00:00:49,130
Brian, I really
want you.
19
00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:51,130
( mumbling )
20
00:00:51,130 --> 00:00:52,140
Helen.
21
00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:53,640
What?
22
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,140
Something's
not right here.
23
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,640
Maybe a little music
will help?
24
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,140
( piano playing
"Call Me Irresponsible" )
25
00:01:02,650 --> 00:01:04,650
Call me
26
00:01:04,650 --> 00:01:08,650
Irresponsible
27
00:01:08,650 --> 00:01:11,150
Call me
28
00:01:11,150 --> 00:01:14,160
Unreliable
29
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:17,160
Throw in
30
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:20,660
Undependable
31
00:01:20,660 --> 00:01:25,670
Too
32
00:01:28,170 --> 00:01:29,670
Now do you want me?
33
00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:31,170
( mumbling )
34
00:01:31,170 --> 00:01:32,680
What about Joe?
35
00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:33,680
Forget Joe.
36
00:01:38,180 --> 00:01:40,180
( tittering )
37
00:01:40,180 --> 00:01:42,190
( airplane engine
whirring )
38
00:01:42,190 --> 00:01:44,190
( mumbles ):
You shy?
( giggling )
39
00:01:44,190 --> 00:01:46,690
Should we wake him up?
No, sh, sh, sh. Nah. Nah.
40
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,690
Whatever he's doing, it looks
like he's having a good time.
41
00:01:48,690 --> 00:01:50,190
BRIAN:
Hey.
42
00:01:50,190 --> 00:01:52,200
( giggles ):
Hey. Mwah.
43
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,200
( light jazzy theme playing )
44
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,710
Tsk.
45
00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:03,210
My, Lowell.
46
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:05,710
You look very nice today.
47
00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:09,210
Uh, thanks, Fay. You know,
yesterday, after church
48
00:02:09,210 --> 00:02:11,720
I went to the hardware store
and, um...
49
00:02:11,710 --> 00:02:13,220
Arlo, the paint boy,
50
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:15,220
called me "sir," you know.
51
00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:16,720
And right then it hit me.
52
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:20,720
That Arlo sniffs paint fumes?
53
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,230
Fay, who among us hasn't maybe
54
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:24,230
lingered a little too long
55
00:02:24,230 --> 00:02:26,730
over a can
of Navajo White, huh?
56
00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:29,730
But what I meant to say
was, uh, you know,
57
00:02:29,730 --> 00:02:31,730
suit commands respect.
58
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,240
Eh. Uh, what do you--
What do you think, Roy?
59
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,240
Mather, a group
of Cub Scouts
60
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,740
heave-hoed all over
plane two.
61
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:42,250
Drag your butt out there
and hose it down.
62
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,750
Need I say more?
63
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,750
Hey, what are
you reading?
64
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:50,750
Oh, it's a catalog
of night classes.
65
00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:53,260
I'm tired of being so angry
about Stuart leaving me.
66
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,260
I figure there's gotta be
more to life
67
00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:57,760
than just sitting around
being bitter about men.
68
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,760
Good for you. What classes
are you thinking about taking?
69
00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,270
Well, I have it narrowed down
here to Lesbian Studies
70
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:06,270
or How to Render a Man Helpless
With Your Thumb.
71
00:03:08,270 --> 00:03:10,770
Oh, look at that. They're both
taught by the same instructor.
72
00:03:10,770 --> 00:03:13,280
Mm. Heh.
73
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,780
Hey, Roy. Want to
hear a good one?
74
00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:17,280
Yeah, sure.
75
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,780
An honest,
hard-working cab driver
76
00:03:19,780 --> 00:03:21,780
goes to
a shyster accountant
77
00:03:21,780 --> 00:03:25,290
and ends up owing
the IRS 1500 bucks.
78
00:03:25,290 --> 00:03:26,290
So the IRS now
is threatening to
79
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:28,790
throw the cabby
in the prison.
80
00:03:28,790 --> 00:03:30,790
That is a good one.
81
00:03:30,790 --> 00:03:32,300
So, I, uh--
82
00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:33,800
I was wondering if you
could lend me some money.
83
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,800
( snickering )
84
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,800
That's an even better one.
85
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,800
Roy, please...
86
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,310
Hey, there's an old saying
about lending money to friends.
87
00:03:42,310 --> 00:03:43,310
Yeah, yeah, I know:
88
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:45,310
"Neither a borrower
nor a lender be."
89
00:03:45,310 --> 00:03:46,810
Actually I was thinking
of, "No, no,
90
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,310
not even if
I liked you. No."
91
00:03:48,310 --> 00:03:49,310
Uh.
92
00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:51,310
Uh...
93
00:03:51,310 --> 00:03:53,320
of all the times
for this to happen.
94
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,320
I finally saved up
enough money to ask Casey out
95
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:56,820
for a fancy
dinner.
96
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,820
You, take Casey out?
97
00:03:58,820 --> 00:04:00,820
Scarpacci, you are
kidding yourself.
98
00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:02,830
You haven't had the nerve
to say two words to her
99
00:04:02,830 --> 00:04:04,830
since she showed up here.
Well, I do now.
100
00:04:04,830 --> 00:04:06,830
Oh, really? Let's see. Casey.
What are you--?
101
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,830
Uh, could you come here?
What are you doing now? Don't--
102
00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:10,830
ROY:
You've got the guts
to ask her out,
103
00:04:10,830 --> 00:04:12,340
I'll spring for
the dinner.
104
00:04:12,340 --> 00:04:14,340
What is it?
Hm.
105
00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:15,840
Antonio. Hm-hm.
106
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:21,840
W-a-a-a-a-...
107
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:39,360
How old are you?
( grunts )
108
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:41,870
Damn, I almost
got you.
109
00:04:41,860 --> 00:04:43,870
You really think
that's funny?
110
00:04:43,870 --> 00:04:45,370
Oh, come on.
You thought it was funny
111
00:04:45,370 --> 00:04:46,870
last week
when I did it to Fay.
112
00:04:49,870 --> 00:04:51,370
Oh. Right.
113
00:04:51,370 --> 00:04:52,880
So, uh, what were you
smiling about, huh?
114
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,380
Huh? Oh-- Oh--
Oh, yeah-- Yeah, yeah.
115
00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:58,380
( laughing ):
I had the most
incredible dream.
116
00:04:58,380 --> 00:04:59,380
Completely weird, huh?
117
00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:00,880
Uh, ha, I was
in the terminal,
118
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:04,390
right, and Lowell
was dressed as a surgeon,
119
00:05:04,390 --> 00:05:06,390
and he was operating on a clown.
120
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:07,390
( laughing ):
Oh, yow.
121
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:08,890
No, wait.
And then,
122
00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:10,890
Antonio and Roy
were playing twin pianos
123
00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:12,900
while Casey sang.
124
00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:15,900
Oh, what? Man.
Wait-- Wait, and then--
125
00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:17,400
You'll get a huge kick
out of this.
Uh-huh.
126
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,900
Um...
( laughing )
127
00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:20,900
--I was making it with Helen
128
00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:22,410
at the lunch counter.
129
00:05:22,410 --> 00:05:23,910
( both laughing )
( claps hands )
130
00:05:25,410 --> 00:05:26,910
What?
131
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,410
( continues
laughing )
132
00:05:28,410 --> 00:05:29,910
Can you picture that?
133
00:05:29,910 --> 00:05:31,910
Me and Helen.
Isn't that hysterical, man?
134
00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:34,420
( laughs )
135
00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:37,920
My Helen? You-- You dreamt
about my Helen?
136
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,920
Well, uh, I wouldn't worry
too much about it.
137
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,430
Yesterday I had a dream
that I couldn't play soccer
138
00:05:42,430 --> 00:05:44,930
because I had Tupperware
instead of feet.
139
00:05:44,930 --> 00:05:45,930
Ha-ha.
140
00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:48,430
Did you see her naked?
141
00:05:48,430 --> 00:05:50,430
All right, all right. Heh.
Let-- Let me explain
142
00:05:50,430 --> 00:05:52,440
the concept to you, okay?
143
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,440
Was a dream.
144
00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,440
Didn't happen.
No, no, no.
145
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,440
It was more than a dream.
Obviously you have sexual
146
00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,440
feelings towards Helen.
How could you do this to me?
147
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,450
I'm really sorry
I brought the whole thing up.
148
00:06:02,450 --> 00:06:03,450
Listen, I was out late
last night.
149
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:04,450
I need a little more sleep.
150
00:06:04,450 --> 00:06:05,950
Oh, no. You're
not going to sleep.
151
00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:07,950
You stay away from Helen.
152
00:06:10,950 --> 00:06:12,460
Excuse me. Do you know
where I can get
153
00:06:12,460 --> 00:06:13,960
a car and driver
for the week?
154
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,960
FAY:
Uh, you mean
like a limousine?
155
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:17,460
Oh, it doesn't
have to be a limo.
156
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:18,960
Well, uh, how about a former
157
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,460
USO dancer
in a Plymouth Duster?
158
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:24,970
Oh, excuse me, sir.
159
00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:26,970
Uh, ahem, couldn't
help overhearing.
160
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,470
I own a luxurious cab,
161
00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:29,970
I-I know every inch
of the island,
162
00:06:29,970 --> 00:06:31,970
and people say I'm perky.
163
00:06:32,980 --> 00:06:35,980
You'd also have to run
errands, FedEx documents,
164
00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:37,480
pick clients up at the airport--
Say no more.
165
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,980
If you need something faxed,
I will fax it.
166
00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:41,980
If you need lunch,
I will make it.
167
00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:43,990
If you need a massage--
168
00:06:43,990 --> 00:06:46,490
Well, I won't give you one.
169
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:49,990
Okay, maybe I will.
170
00:06:50,990 --> 00:06:53,000
You are perky.
171
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,500
How much?
172
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:56,500
( inhales ):
Ooh, uh, one full week
173
00:06:56,500 --> 00:07:00,000
at your beck and call
24 hours a day, uh...
174
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,010
1500 bucks.
Fifteen hundred bucks?
175
00:07:03,010 --> 00:07:05,010
Hey, for that
I'll take a bullet for you.
176
00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:08,010
No, I won't.
177
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,010
Okay, maybe I will.
178
00:07:10,010 --> 00:07:11,510
( exhales )
I don't know.
179
00:07:11,510 --> 00:07:13,020
It's a lot of money.
180
00:07:13,020 --> 00:07:15,020
And I don't get
shot at that often.
181
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:21,020
Well, you know,
the best does not come cheap.
182
00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:23,530
Uh, but you know that.
From the look of your suit,
183
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:26,530
uh, whatever you're here for
is worth big coin.
184
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:29,030
So you can go first class
and hire me,
185
00:07:29,030 --> 00:07:32,030
or some low-rent driver
who FedExes your contracts
186
00:07:32,030 --> 00:07:36,040
to the wrong coast
and blows the whole gig.
187
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,540
I like a man who knows
what he's worth.
188
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,540
Gavin Rutledge.
189
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:40,540
Antonio Scarpacci.
190
00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:41,540
Let's rock and roll.
191
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,050
Do you know her?
Who?
192
00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:52,050
That woman there. She's
gorgeous. What's her name?
193
00:07:52,050 --> 00:07:55,060
Oh, n-- No-- No-- No.
Y-- Eh, you don't want her.
194
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,560
Fay, on the other hand,
is one hot ticket.
195
00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:02,570
That's okay. I like
what I see right here.
196
00:08:02,570 --> 00:08:04,070
Excuse me.
197
00:08:04,070 --> 00:08:06,070
My name is Gavin Rutledge.
198
00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:08,070
Hi.
199
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:10,070
When I first saw you,
I-- Well, I'm sure that
200
00:08:10,070 --> 00:08:12,070
you hear this all the time,
but I just wanted
201
00:08:12,070 --> 00:08:13,580
to tell you myself:
202
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:15,580
You're absolutely stunning.
203
00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:16,580
Really?
204
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:18,080
Uh, well, hey,
we tried. Okay.
205
00:08:19,580 --> 00:08:20,580
I'm in town
for a week
206
00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:22,090
putting together
a real-estate deal.
207
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,090
I'd love it if you'd
have dinner with me.
208
00:08:24,090 --> 00:08:27,590
Look, Gavin, save your breath.
It's not gonna happen.
209
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,090
Mm. You gave it
your best shot. Let's go.
210
00:08:30,090 --> 00:08:32,600
Is there nothing I can say
that would change your mind?
211
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,100
Look, um, I just separated
from my husband
212
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:38,600
and I'm not really
into dating right now.
213
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,600
I understand. I'm sorry
to have bothered you.
214
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,110
And for whatever
it's worth...
215
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:45,110
any man who would
let you get away
216
00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:47,110
has to be
the world's biggest fool.
217
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:50,110
( laughs )
Thanks.
218
00:08:50,110 --> 00:08:52,110
See? I got you to smile.
My work here is done.
219
00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:53,120
( laughs )
( Antonio laughs )
220
00:08:54,620 --> 00:08:56,620
Okay, come on. Let's go.
Wait.
221
00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,620
I'm sorry about the little...
222
00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:01,120
attitude before.
223
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,130
I'm Casey.
224
00:09:03,130 --> 00:09:05,130
It's nice to
meet you, Casey.
225
00:09:05,130 --> 00:09:06,630
I should probably quit
while I'm ahead
226
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,130
but I was wondering if you might
227
00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:10,130
reconsider my dinner invitation.
228
00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:12,130
Why...I think I'd like that.
229
00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:14,640
What?
230
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:15,640
Antonio, take these bags
to the car.
231
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,140
I'll be out
in a minute.
232
00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:23,650
My life is
a complete disaster.
233
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,650
Hey. You want to
turn your life around?
234
00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:27,150
Hey, get yourself a suit.
235
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:35,160
( lively theme playing )
236
00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:41,160
( airplane flying
overhead )
237
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:47,670
What are you
doing?
238
00:09:48,670 --> 00:09:49,670
What?
239
00:09:49,670 --> 00:09:51,670
You were staring
at Helen.
240
00:09:51,670 --> 00:09:53,680
Oh. I was not.
No, yeah--
241
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,180
Hey, I saw you.
You were staring at her.
242
00:09:55,180 --> 00:09:57,680
Oh, come on. I asked her
to butter my bagel.
243
00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,680
"Butter your bagel?" All right.
You and me, outside, right now.
244
00:10:02,180 --> 00:10:04,190
What's going on?
I-I don't even want to tell you.
245
00:10:04,190 --> 00:10:05,690
You're gonna be
furious.
246
00:10:05,690 --> 00:10:07,190
All right.
Brian had
247
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:08,690
an erotic dream about you.
248
00:10:10,690 --> 00:10:12,700
Really?
"Really?"
249
00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:13,700
What do you mean,
"Really?"
250
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,200
He saw you naked.
251
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,200
Oh, did I look
fat to you?
252
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,200
Oh. I don't
believe this.
253
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:21,200
Uh, w-while we're on
the subject of fantasies,
254
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,710
I've had one that involves
two people here.
255
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:25,210
Really? Who?
FAY: Well, actually,
256
00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:26,710
it was Joe and Brian.
257
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,710
No. You had a fantasy
about us?
258
00:10:28,710 --> 00:10:30,210
FAY:
Yes. It was totally
259
00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:32,720
wild and unbelievable.
260
00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:36,720
You gave me a raise.
261
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,730
Hey.
( sighs ):
Oh, flowers.
262
00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:46,230
Brian, sweetie--
263
00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:47,730
Hey.
--thank you.
264
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,730
Hey, after last night,
tiger lady,
265
00:10:49,730 --> 00:10:50,730
you deserve it.
266
00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:51,730
( laughs mockingly )
267
00:10:52,740 --> 00:10:55,740
Very funny.
That's very funny.
268
00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:57,240
( airplane flying overhead )
269
00:10:58,740 --> 00:11:00,740
I knew they were
for Casey.
270
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,750
Good morning.
271
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:08,750
Oh, my God. Look at those
beautiful flowers.
272
00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:09,750
Are they for me?
273
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:11,750
Yes.
Oh.
274
00:11:13,260 --> 00:11:16,260
Gavin remembered
I said I love lilies.
275
00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,760
Actually, I did.
276
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,260
Isn't he
the sweetest guy?
277
00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:20,260
( beeper beeping )
278
00:11:21,260 --> 00:11:23,770
Ah. Well, speak of
the hunky devil.
279
00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:28,770
Whoo. Flowers
after one date.
280
00:11:28,770 --> 00:11:29,770
This guy must really like you.
281
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:31,270
Oh, I hope so.
282
00:11:31,270 --> 00:11:33,280
Gavin is just
like Stuart...
283
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:35,780
except he's charming,
he has a sense of humor,
284
00:11:35,780 --> 00:11:37,280
and I don't have to carry him
when the sand
285
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,280
on the beach
gets too hot. Ha.
286
00:11:41,780 --> 00:11:43,790
Uh, that was Mr. Rutledge.
287
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:46,290
He said we'll pick you up
tonight at 8.
288
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:48,790
Oh. Well, tell him
that 8 will be perfect.
289
00:11:48,790 --> 00:11:50,290
Did he say anything else?
290
00:11:50,290 --> 00:11:53,800
Yeah, well, uh,
he said to tell you...
291
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,800
he has a bad case
of the "Caseys."
292
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,800
( laughing ):
Oh, that's so cute.
293
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,310
I'm in hell.
294
00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:06,810
( mellow theme playing )
295
00:12:08,810 --> 00:12:11,810
( laughs ):
You know, I can't believe
you actually had the nerve
296
00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:14,320
to get up and sing
"Just The Way You Are."
297
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,320
Hey. It was a karaoke
bar. And besides,
298
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:17,320
I was singing it
to you.
299
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,320
Yech.
300
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:21,820
Uh, sorry. It's
a little something
301
00:12:21,820 --> 00:12:23,830
caught in my throat
there.
302
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,830
I had a great time tonight.
303
00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:27,330
You really are...
304
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,830
incredible.
305
00:12:30,330 --> 00:12:31,330
( brakes screech )
( gasps )
306
00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:35,340
Whoops. Oh, are those
brakes or what? Huh?
307
00:12:35,340 --> 00:12:37,840
Well, here we are at Casey's
house. Good night, Casey.
308
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,840
See you soon. Don't
be a stranger. Ciao.
309
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,350
Are you sure I can't talk you
into going back to the hotel
310
00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:43,350
just for a glass of wine?
311
00:12:43,350 --> 00:12:44,850
CASEY:
Well...
312
00:12:44,850 --> 00:12:46,350
it is late,
313
00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:47,850
and...well,
tonight is just
314
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,850
a little too soon
for me.
315
00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:51,850
GAVIN:
I understand.
316
00:12:51,850 --> 00:12:53,860
But we're still on
for dinner tomorrow night?
317
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,360
Oh, absolutely.
318
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,860
( horn honks )
Oh, whoops.
319
00:12:59,860 --> 00:13:02,370
Hey, is that
a horn or what, huh?
320
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:03,870
( claps hands )
321
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:06,370
I guess I'll just, uh,
walk Casey to the door.
322
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:07,370
I can handle it.
323
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:15,880
Oh.
324
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,380
Don't kiss him.
Don't kiss him.
325
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,380
Don't k-- Oh!
326
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:21,880
( horn blows )
Oh.
327
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:27,890
( footsteps
approaching )
328
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,390
( Gavin groans )
329
00:13:29,390 --> 00:13:31,390
Well, I guess it's
back to the hotel.
330
00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:33,400
Yes, sir.
Oh, jeez. I didn't know
331
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:34,900
it had gotten this late.
332
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:36,400
I've gotta make a call.
333
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,400
While I'm on the island,
this cab is my office.
334
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,900
And anything said
in the office is--
335
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:43,910
Strictly confidential.
Uh, I understand.
336
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:46,410
Boy, I guess your work
never stops, huh?
337
00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:47,910
Right.
338
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,410
Hi, honey.
It's me.
339
00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:50,410
How are the kids?
340
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,420
( lively theme playing )
341
00:14:02,420 --> 00:14:03,930
( airplane flying overhead )
342
00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:04,930
( inhales )
343
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,430
Yep.
344
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:12,940
What?
Oh, well, let's
just say that, uh...
345
00:14:12,940 --> 00:14:14,440
( inhales )
...you're not the only dreamer
346
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:15,440
in the Hackett family.
347
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,940
Oh, will you
let this go already.
348
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,440
Oh, sure. Sure, sure,
sure. But, uh...
349
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:22,440
you might be interested
to know that last night
350
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:25,450
I had the most exciting dream
351
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:27,950
of my entire life.
352
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:28,950
Let me guess:
353
00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:30,950
You got a brand new pair
of Dockers?
354
00:14:32,450 --> 00:14:34,460
No. Think, uh,
355
00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:36,960
a little more
along the lines of, uh,
356
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,460
your new girlfriend, Kirsten.
357
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,960
Uh-- My Kirsten?
358
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,960
No, not last night
she wasn't.
359
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,470
( snickers )
Oh, yes. She came to the house
360
00:14:44,470 --> 00:14:46,470
to see you,
but you weren't home.
361
00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:48,970
She locked the door
with a little smile.
362
00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:50,470
She slowly...
363
00:14:50,470 --> 00:14:52,980
took off
her clothes.
364
00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:54,480
And she proceeded
365
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:55,980
to do things to me
366
00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:58,480
that still make me shiver.
367
00:14:58,480 --> 00:14:59,480
Kirsten did.
368
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:00,480
Yep.
369
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:01,980
( snickers )
370
00:15:04,490 --> 00:15:05,990
Not Helen.
JOE: Listen,
371
00:15:05,990 --> 00:15:08,490
you can dream
all you want about Helen.
372
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:09,490
( scoffs )
I've got Kirsten.
373
00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:10,990
Heh. What do you
think of that?
374
00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:12,500
Oh, not
very much.
375
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,000
Uh-- Eh-- Eh--
376
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,500
Ow!
Joe--
377
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:21,000
Joe, can I
talk to you?
378
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,510
N-n-no-- Not now.
379
00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:23,510
Come on, Helen.
It was just a dream.
380
00:15:23,510 --> 00:15:26,010
Uh, Brian, could I--?
Sorry. I've got to see this.
381
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,010
( engine
sputtering )
382
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:34,020
Lowell--
Uh, Lowell, listen, uh,
383
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,520
I have this problem,
and I was hoping
384
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:36,520
you could give me
some advice.
385
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:37,520
Sure.
386
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,020
Check-- Ho.
Whoo-ooh. Whoo.
387
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:42,020
( engine
whirring )
388
00:15:43,030 --> 00:15:45,030
Okay. Ooh--
389
00:15:45,030 --> 00:15:46,530
Ah. There we go.
390
00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:48,030
No, never--
Never mind.
391
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,530
Clean. No-no,
no-no-no. No.
392
00:15:49,530 --> 00:15:52,030
Listen, your instincts
brought you to me.
393
00:15:52,030 --> 00:15:53,540
Unload your burden.
394
00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:56,540
( sighs )
Okay. Uh, well, see,
395
00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:59,540
I-I've got this friend,
see, and, um, he--
396
00:15:59,540 --> 00:16:02,040
He owes a lot of money
to the IRS.
397
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:03,550
A-and-- And right now,
uh, he--
398
00:16:03,550 --> 00:16:05,550
He's working
for this rich man
399
00:16:05,550 --> 00:16:07,550
who-- Who happens to be
dating a woman
400
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:10,050
that my friend likes
very much.
401
00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:13,060
But the problem is
this rich man is married.
402
00:16:13,060 --> 00:16:15,060
But if my friend
tells the woman this,
403
00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:17,060
he's sure to be fired.
404
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:19,060
( scoffs ):
Oh, Antonio.
405
00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:20,560
Do I look like a fool to you?
406
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:26,070
I think we both know
who your "friend" is.
407
00:16:26,070 --> 00:16:28,570
It's your cousin,
Giacomo, isn't it?
408
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:30,070
No.
409
00:16:30,070 --> 00:16:31,570
Your dad?
No.
410
00:16:31,570 --> 00:16:33,080
Roy?
No.
411
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:35,080
Pete, the idiot?
No-- No, listen.
412
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,580
I think what
the problem is,
413
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:40,580
is that your friend
has no self-respect.
414
00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:42,580
What you need
to do
415
00:16:42,580 --> 00:16:45,090
is tell him to get
himself a...suit.
416
00:16:46,090 --> 00:16:48,590
( mellow jazzy theme playing )
417
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:55,100
Dinner was
wonderful.
418
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:56,100
In fact...
419
00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:59,100
the last few days
have been wonderful.
420
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:01,600
( laughs )
For me too.
421
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,110
I've waited a long time
for someone like you
422
00:17:03,110 --> 00:17:04,110
to come into my life.
423
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:05,610
Oh, please.
424
00:17:05,610 --> 00:17:07,110
Uh-- Uh--
425
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:10,110
Use your turn signal,
you butthead.
426
00:17:12,610 --> 00:17:14,120
I got you a little
something. Here.
427
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,120
Wha--?
428
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:18,620
Oh.
429
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:21,620
Gavin, this is
beautiful.
430
00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:22,620
Weasel.
431
00:17:22,620 --> 00:17:24,130
Uh, o-on the road,
432
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,130
there's a little
weasel, and--
433
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,630
I can't accept this.
This is too much.
434
00:17:29,630 --> 00:17:31,630
Please, I really
want you to have it.
435
00:17:31,630 --> 00:17:33,140
I don't know what to say.
436
00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:34,140
Say that you'll
keep it.
437
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,640
Casey...
438
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,140
the way I feel
about you...
439
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,650
I could really
see us together.
440
00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:48,150
Come here.
441
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,150
( tires screech )
442
00:17:50,150 --> 00:17:54,160
Whoa. I almost missed
that turn to Casey's house.
443
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,160
That won't be
necessary.
444
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:57,660
I think we'll be going on
to the hotel.
445
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:58,660
( laughs )
But--
446
00:17:58,660 --> 00:17:59,660
The hotel.
447
00:18:02,660 --> 00:18:04,170
Oh, look,
a church.
448
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:07,170
Heh. Anybody feel like
going to confession?
449
00:18:11,170 --> 00:18:13,180
Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
450
00:18:13,180 --> 00:18:14,180
The hotel.
451
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:18,680
Okay. Here it is.
452
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,180
Thank you.
453
00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:22,180
Ah, well, I guess
I'll just, uh, wait here
454
00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:23,690
to drive Casey
home, then.
455
00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:24,690
That won't be necessary.
456
00:18:24,690 --> 00:18:27,190
( door opens )
457
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,190
Casey...
458
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,190
What?
459
00:18:30,190 --> 00:18:31,190
Nothing.
460
00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:33,200
Let's go.
Oh.
461
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,200
Casey, don't go.
462
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,200
What are you doing?
463
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,700
What's wrong?
464
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,200
He's married.
465
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,700
Married?
466
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:40,700
He has a wife.
467
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:42,200
He calls her "honey."
468
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:45,710
Is that true?
469
00:18:45,710 --> 00:18:47,210
Well...sort of.
( sighs )
470
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,710
But isn't the important
thing
471
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,710
how we feel about
each other tonight?
472
00:18:50,710 --> 00:18:52,210
No, you're
married.
473
00:18:52,210 --> 00:18:53,720
Does that really
have to matter?
474
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,720
( hand grasps pants )
475
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:56,720
( in high voice ):
I guess it does.
476
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:00,720
( exhales )
477
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,730
( door closes )
478
00:19:04,730 --> 00:19:06,730
Please take me home.
479
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,730
You are so fired.
480
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:10,730
Fine. Just pay me
what you owe me.
481
00:19:10,730 --> 00:19:12,730
Try to collect a dime
from me.
482
00:19:12,730 --> 00:19:14,740
Yeah? Well,
I'll see you in hell.
483
00:19:14,740 --> 00:19:17,240
Because I'm gonna
kill myself.
484
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:21,240
( meter clicks off )
485
00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:25,250
I'm, uh...
486
00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:26,750
I'm sorry.
487
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:32,750
Why do I have a knack
for finding all the jerks?
488
00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:34,760
Why can't I find a nice guy?
489
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,260
Oh. They're out there.
490
00:19:43,770 --> 00:19:45,770
If I may...
491
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:47,270
you know, uh--
492
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:49,770
For years, my Uncle Paolo,
493
00:19:49,770 --> 00:19:53,780
h-he drove this beat-up
old station wagon.
494
00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:56,280
Uh, and then, one day,
495
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,280
he came into
a lot of money.
496
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,280
Never mind how.
497
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:01,780
And, uh, he--
498
00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:05,790
He bought
a-a-a bright red Ferrari.
499
00:20:05,790 --> 00:20:08,790
You know, it--
It was shiny and fast
500
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:11,790
but, uh, not very
dependable.
501
00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:14,800
M-- Most days, he--
He still had to drive
502
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,800
that beat-up old wagon.
503
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,800
So, uh, one day, uh,
504
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,800
the Ferrari blew up--
505
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:21,800
never mind how
506
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:22,800
--and, uh--
507
00:20:23,810 --> 00:20:24,810
So...
508
00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:26,310
Paolo, he--
509
00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:28,810
He goes and buys
a black Maserati.
510
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:31,310
You know?
But once again,
511
00:20:31,310 --> 00:20:33,820
he could never
count on it.
512
00:20:33,820 --> 00:20:35,820
Ferraris, Maseratis, w--
513
00:20:35,820 --> 00:20:38,320
They--
They sure are flashy...
514
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:41,320
but, heh, that banged-up
old wagon
515
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:44,830
is still with him
after all these years.
516
00:20:44,830 --> 00:20:47,830
I think I see what you mean.
517
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:48,830
You do?
518
00:20:50,330 --> 00:20:53,340
Well, that's good,
you know, because, uh, I was--
519
00:20:53,340 --> 00:20:54,840
I was thinking--
520
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:56,840
In fact, I was hoping--
521
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,340
You know, I learned
something tonight.
522
00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:01,340
I'm not ready to date.
I mean, I thought I was,
523
00:21:01,340 --> 00:21:03,350
but...
524
00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:05,350
Well, I guess
it's just too soon.
525
00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:08,850
Yeah, right.
It's--
526
00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:11,350
It's too soon.
527
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:12,860
Hey, I'm sorry
you got fired.
528
00:21:12,850 --> 00:21:15,360
No. What.
No big deal.
529
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:18,860
No. I'm sure the IRS will wait
for the money I owe them.
530
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:22,870
Ah, I'm so screwed.
531
00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:25,370
Well...
532
00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:28,370
here.
533
00:21:29,370 --> 00:21:30,370
What are you
doing?
534
00:21:30,370 --> 00:21:31,870
Well, you need money,
535
00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:33,380
so why don't you take this?
536
00:21:33,380 --> 00:21:35,380
Ah. No.
No, uh, I couldn't.
537
00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:38,380
Please.
No, no. It-- It-- It's yours.
538
00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:40,880
I'd really rather
you have it.
539
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:41,880
( laughs )
540
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,390
Ah. Thank you.
You know, I-I--
541
00:21:44,390 --> 00:21:45,890
I-if I didn't need
the money so badly--
542
00:21:45,890 --> 00:21:47,390
I know.
543
00:21:51,390 --> 00:21:53,400
Well...
544
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,900
if nothing else...
545
00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:57,400
he had good taste.
546
00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:00,900
Yes.
547
00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:03,910
He certainly did.
548
00:22:03,910 --> 00:22:06,910
( melancholy piano theme
playing )
549
00:22:12,910 --> 00:22:16,420
( playing
"Call Me Irresponsible" )
550
00:22:16,420 --> 00:22:19,420
( lip-synching
to female voice ):
Call me
551
00:22:19,420 --> 00:22:22,930
Irresponsible
552
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,430
Call me
553
00:22:25,430 --> 00:22:28,430
Unreliable
554
00:22:28,430 --> 00:22:31,430
Throw in
555
00:22:31,430 --> 00:22:34,440
Undependable
556
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,440
Wow.
557
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,940
Whoo. I just had
the weirdest dream.
37576
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