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1
00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:05,590
( upbeat piano theme playing )
2
00:00:11,590 --> 00:00:15,100
My, Antonio, you certainly
look different today.
3
00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:16,600
Well, I--
I thought it was time
4
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,100
for a new image,
you know?
5
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,610
Something a little more
sophisticated.
6
00:00:24,610 --> 00:00:26,110
What do you think?
7
00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:30,610
You look like a tango instructor
on a cruise ship.
8
00:00:30,610 --> 00:00:31,610
You-- You don't, uh--
9
00:00:31,610 --> 00:00:33,120
Don't think I went
a little crazy
10
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,120
with the mousse?
11
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,120
You're doing this
for Casey, aren't you?
12
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,620
Well, yeah.
I-I mean--
13
00:00:39,620 --> 00:00:42,130
I'm a little sick and tired
of her treating me
14
00:00:42,130 --> 00:00:45,130
like-- Like I'm
totally invisible.
15
00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:47,130
Sometimes I think,
you know, sh--
16
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:49,630
She wouldn't even notice me
if I was on fire.
17
00:00:49,630 --> 00:00:52,640
Aw. No, I'm sure
you're exaggerating.
18
00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:53,640
( scoffs )
19
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:54,640
( phone rings )
20
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:57,640
God, here she comes.
21
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,650
Ow.
22
00:01:08,650 --> 00:01:09,650
Ow!
23
00:01:10,150 --> 00:01:11,150
Ow. Ow!
24
00:01:12,660 --> 00:01:14,660
Ow.
25
00:01:14,660 --> 00:01:17,160
( upbeat theme playing )
26
00:01:22,170 --> 00:01:23,670
Oh, when's the last time
we were alone?
27
00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:25,170
Don't know.
28
00:01:25,170 --> 00:01:26,170
How could we
let it go so long?
29
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:27,670
Don't know.
30
00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:29,670
You think my sister's
gonna be okay by herself?
31
00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:31,170
Don't care.
32
00:01:31,170 --> 00:01:32,680
Me either.
33
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,180
On the other hand,
she's been acting
34
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,680
a little more
needy than usual.
35
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,180
When I left the house tonight,
36
00:01:40,180 --> 00:01:41,690
she had her hands pressed up
against the window
37
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,690
like one of those
little Garfield dolls.
38
00:01:45,190 --> 00:01:47,690
Helen. Look, your sister's
just pushing your buttons.
39
00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:49,190
Now it's my turn.
40
00:01:51,190 --> 00:01:52,700
Okay, so listen to this.
41
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,700
I'm supposed to have a date
with Karen tonight,
42
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,700
and at the last minute
she cancels. You know why?
43
00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:01,700
She says she's
in a "car accident."
44
00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:03,210
Brian, do you mind?
45
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:05,210
I mean, do you believe that?
46
00:02:05,210 --> 00:02:06,710
Canceling at the last
minute like that.
47
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,210
How selfish can
one person be?
48
00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:11,210
( sighs )
49
00:02:11,210 --> 00:02:13,220
Would you get
the hell out of here?
50
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:14,720
No. No, no, not you.
51
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,720
No. I'm just
a little distracted.
52
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,220
Maybe tonight
wasn't meant to be.
53
00:02:18,220 --> 00:02:20,720
Of course it was.
I even took a Breath Asure.
54
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,730
I-- I really wanna go home
and check on Casey.
55
00:02:22,730 --> 00:02:24,230
I-I promise,
I'll make it up to you.
56
00:02:24,230 --> 00:02:26,730
Oh, Helen, please don't go--
Helen, please don't g--
57
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,730
I'm actually kind of
glad she's gone.
58
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:36,740
I mean, since you and Helen
got engaged...
59
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,240
we don't-- We don't
talk anymore.
60
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:42,250
Well...then let's catch up.
61
00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:46,750
( upbeat theme playing )
62
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:50,250
Hey, Roy.
Hey.
63
00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:52,260
You know, I-- I really
appreciate you
64
00:02:52,260 --> 00:02:54,260
letting me off early
yesterday.
65
00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:56,760
My-- My stomach's feeling
much better now.
66
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,260
Ha. That's the last time
I store the brake fluid
67
00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:01,770
next to the Dr. Pepper.
68
00:03:03,770 --> 00:03:05,270
Well...
69
00:03:05,270 --> 00:03:07,770
the important thing is
you've stopped convulsing.
70
00:03:09,270 --> 00:03:10,770
Listen. You know, I--
71
00:03:10,770 --> 00:03:13,780
I'm not much good
with words, so, um, here.
72
00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:16,780
What the hell is this?
73
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,280
Well...
74
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,280
it's a mug with my mug.
75
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,790
Huh. Well, wouldn't
you know it,
76
00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:30,290
I guess I am
pretty good with words.
77
00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:31,800
You got me this?
78
00:03:31,790 --> 00:03:34,800
Mather, what in the world
is in your head?
79
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,300
Well, from now on,
hot beverages.
80
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:41,300
I don't know what
to say. Heh.
81
00:03:42,310 --> 00:03:43,810
I'm touched.
82
00:03:44,810 --> 00:03:46,810
I can't tell you
what this means to me.
83
00:03:48,310 --> 00:03:49,310
I know.
84
00:03:51,810 --> 00:03:52,820
Hm-hm.
85
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:56,820
( chuckles )
86
00:03:57,820 --> 00:03:59,320
Hey.
87
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,830
On your next flight, dump that
in the ocean, would you?
88
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:05,330
Helen, I need to talk
to you in my office.
89
00:04:05,330 --> 00:04:06,330
Now?
90
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:07,830
It's very important.
91
00:04:10,830 --> 00:04:12,340
Joe, what is it?
92
00:04:12,340 --> 00:04:13,840
What's wrong?
( door closes )
93
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,340
( chuckles ):
Wait.
94
00:04:19,340 --> 00:04:20,340
Wait, what are you doing?
95
00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:21,340
Making up for last night.
96
00:04:21,340 --> 00:04:22,850
( giggles )
97
00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:24,350
Joe, this is a place
of business.
98
00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:26,850
I mean, people could be
listening outside.
99
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:28,850
Oh, it's so dangerous.
100
00:04:31,350 --> 00:04:33,360
My life is one nightmare
after another.
101
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:35,860
( door closes )
Casey--
102
00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:37,360
Casey, what is it now?
103
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,860
I ran out of my alpha-hydroxy
hydrating cream,
104
00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:42,370
and not one cosmetic counter
on this island carries it.
105
00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:44,870
You know, I can feel my skin
drying up as we speak.
106
00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:47,370
Well, I can help.
How about if I
107
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,370
hold your head
underwater?
108
00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:51,370
Now, now, Joe.
You're not a woman.
109
00:04:51,370 --> 00:04:52,880
You don't understand
these things.
110
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,380
Thank you.
111
00:04:54,380 --> 00:04:55,880
Now, all I need
is your credit card
112
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:56,880
so I can fly to Boston
113
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,380
and pick some up
at Neiman Marcus.
114
00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,880
You get the bucket,
I'll get the hose.
115
00:05:03,890 --> 00:05:05,390
Hey. Guess what.
116
00:05:05,390 --> 00:05:07,890
Turns out Karen wasn't
making up an excuse after all.
117
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:08,890
She really was
in a car accident.
118
00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:10,390
Isn't that great?
119
00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:12,400
That's great. Brian, look,
we're in the middle--
120
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,400
Excuse me, I was talking about
something important here.
121
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,400
I'm out of hydrating
cream.
122
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,410
Anyway, Karen's
all healed up..
123
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:24,910
and, uh, she and I are
going out tonight,
124
00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:26,910
so I need you to take the last
flight for me. What do you say?
125
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:29,410
Actually, Brian, Joe and I--
Come on, Joe, what do you say?
126
00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:31,410
Excuse me, I was
here first.
Congratulations.
127
00:05:31,410 --> 00:05:33,420
You know, you can't
just barge in here--
128
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,920
Uh, this is my office too.
129
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,420
Okay, would the two
of you shut up?
130
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:37,920
I can't believe...
( sighs )
131
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,420
...how selfish
you two are.
132
00:05:41,420 --> 00:05:43,430
Did it ever occur to you
that when you barged in here
133
00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:45,430
we might have been in the middle
of something important?
134
00:05:45,430 --> 00:05:47,430
I'm sorry. What
were you doing?
135
00:05:51,430 --> 00:05:53,940
Well, that's not
important.
136
00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:55,440
The point is,
we spend
137
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:56,940
all our time
worrying about you two,
138
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:59,940
when we have other things
on our minds.
139
00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:00,940
You mean, y--
You still--
140
00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:01,940
Oh, give it a rest.
141
00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:08,450
Yeah, well, maybe we have been
a little inconsiderate.
142
00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:09,950
Maybe we should do
something for 'em.
143
00:06:09,950 --> 00:06:10,950
I know.
144
00:06:10,950 --> 00:06:13,960
Maybe we can throw 'em
a party or something.
145
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,960
No, better yet. A surprise
engagement party.
146
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,960
Ooh, very good. Very good.
Leave all the plans to me.
147
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:19,960
Uh, sure,
I can just see that.
148
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:23,970
A keg, a boom box, and one of
those 6-foot sandwiches.
149
00:06:23,970 --> 00:06:25,470
Great, we're both
on the same page.
150
00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:29,470
Except...
151
00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:32,480
Brian Hackett always
springs for the 10-footer.
152
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:33,980
Yeah.
153
00:06:33,980 --> 00:06:34,980
Hold it.
154
00:06:34,980 --> 00:06:36,480
If there is one thing
I know how to do,
155
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,480
it is throw a party.
156
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:39,980
We'll get a suite
at the Harbor House.
157
00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:42,490
We can go tonight and
pick out the perfect room.
158
00:06:42,490 --> 00:06:44,990
And then we'll get
a case of champagne,
159
00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:47,490
and I will have the chef at
Pastiche prepare all the food.
160
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,490
Hey. And the big sandwich.
161
00:06:51,490 --> 00:06:53,500
We're not having
a big sandwich.
162
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:00,500
Tsk.
163
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:02,010
This is Nantucket.
164
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,510
It's not San Francisco.
165
00:07:04,510 --> 00:07:07,010
We are a simple people.
166
00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:09,510
We fish our waters.
167
00:07:09,510 --> 00:07:12,020
We till our lands.
168
00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:15,020
We eat a big sandwich.
169
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,530
Oh, Antonio,
how are you feeling?
170
00:07:22,530 --> 00:07:25,030
Oh, uh, much better,
thank you.
171
00:07:25,030 --> 00:07:28,530
You know, uh, when
a man's been on fire...
172
00:07:28,530 --> 00:07:30,530
makes him take stock.
173
00:07:32,030 --> 00:07:34,540
I-- I now realize
what a blind fool
174
00:07:34,540 --> 00:07:36,040
I've been
over Casey.
175
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,540
Oh. Nobody thinks that.
176
00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:41,040
Well, not everybody.
177
00:07:42,550 --> 00:07:44,550
Well-- Well,
at least I don't.
178
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,550
Well, I do.
But, uh...
179
00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:51,050
I-I certainly haven't
laughed behind your back.
180
00:07:53,060 --> 00:07:54,560
Well, not lately.
181
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,560
Well, I'm through
chasing that woman.
182
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,060
Uh, Antonio Scarpacci
has come to his senses.
183
00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:03,070
Oh, well,
good for you, dear.
184
00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:07,070
Okay...so...
185
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,070
tonight, 7:30,
Harbor House.
186
00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:12,070
Okay. And let's get the most
romantic room.
Okay.
187
00:08:12,070 --> 00:08:14,080
Don't worry. You know,
I'm real glad we're doing this.
188
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,080
So am I.
Okay.
189
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:29,590
( upbeat theme playing )
190
00:08:30,590 --> 00:08:32,100
Helen, hurry up.
191
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,100
Okay, Joe.
192
00:08:42,610 --> 00:08:44,110
What do you think?
193
00:08:44,110 --> 00:08:46,110
Who can think? All the blood
just left my brain.
194
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:50,110
That's good, because...
195
00:08:50,110 --> 00:08:51,610
I like my men stupid.
196
00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:58,620
Oh, Joe!
Joe, thank God.
197
00:08:58,620 --> 00:09:00,620
Oh, good, Helen,
you're here too. Listen--
198
00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:03,130
Antonio, what the hell
are you doing in my bedroom?
199
00:09:03,130 --> 00:09:05,630
Listen, something terrible
has happened.
200
00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:07,630
It's Brian and Casey.
201
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:08,630
Oh, my God.
202
00:09:08,630 --> 00:09:10,130
Were they in an accident?
203
00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:12,130
Worse. They're having sex.
204
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,140
Well, at least
somebody is.
205
00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:18,140
Joe, please.
206
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:19,640
Antonio?
207
00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:21,640
Well, I was driving
by the Harbor House.
208
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,650
I saw Brian and Casey
go inside.
209
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,650
Brian got a key
from the front desk
210
00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:28,150
and took Casey to Room 412.
211
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:30,150
And you saw all that
from your cab?
212
00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:31,650
No, don't be ridiculous.
213
00:09:31,650 --> 00:09:34,160
No, by then I was hiding
under a room-service cart.
214
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,660
And I would have seen more too,
215
00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:39,160
but just then I was
wheeled into Room 413,
216
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:42,160
where I had to watch a fat,
naked man eat chicken wings.
217
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:46,170
Gosh. I don't believe it.
Brian and Casey?
218
00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:47,170
I know, I know.
219
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:49,670
Oh, this is all my fault.
220
00:09:49,670 --> 00:09:51,670
Leave Casey home
one night alone
221
00:09:51,670 --> 00:09:53,180
and look what
happens to her.
222
00:09:53,180 --> 00:09:55,180
She crawls in bed
with Brian.
223
00:09:55,180 --> 00:09:57,180
And that's obviously
a tortured cry for help.
224
00:09:57,180 --> 00:10:00,180
Yes. Yes, listen, listen.
We-- We have to do--
225
00:10:02,180 --> 00:10:03,690
We have to do something,
you know?
226
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:04,690
But-- But--
But what?
227
00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:06,190
Uh, I have
an idea.
228
00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:07,690
You get the hell out
of here, and Helen,
229
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,690
you spend the night with me.
230
00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:11,690
Joe, I can't think
of that right now.
231
00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:13,200
Uh, listen,
you know, uh--
232
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,200
I-- I'm not a prude,
but, uh,
233
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:18,200
I would appreciate it if you
would, uh, cover yourself.
234
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,200
Please.
235
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,200
God, I'm so sorry.
236
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,710
No, I was talking about Joe.
237
00:10:22,710 --> 00:10:25,710
( playful theme playing )
238
00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:31,210
Um, Roy?
Mm.
239
00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:33,220
Where's that mug
I gave you?
240
00:10:33,220 --> 00:10:35,220
Uh...jeez.
241
00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:37,720
Uh, you know, I haven't
seen that around. But--
242
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,220
( gasps )
Somebody must have swiped it.
243
00:10:40,220 --> 00:10:42,220
Tsk. Oh, I'm all
broken up.
244
00:10:43,230 --> 00:10:44,230
Well...
245
00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:46,730
dry your eyes,
Roy Biggins.
246
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:48,730
Today's
your lucky day.
247
00:10:48,730 --> 00:10:50,230
Okay, wait till
you hear this story.
248
00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:51,730
All right. Remember
my friend, Merle?
249
00:10:51,730 --> 00:10:53,740
Well, he went out
cod fishing the other day
250
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,740
and he reeled in
a 50-pounder.
251
00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:57,240
And he gets it back
to the beach,
252
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,740
cuts that baby open,
253
00:10:58,740 --> 00:11:00,240
what do you think
falls out?
254
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:04,250
The mug?
255
00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:06,750
No. A license plate
from 1929.
256
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,750
So he takes it home,
he tells his wife about it,
257
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:11,750
she doesn't believe him.
They have a huge fight.
258
00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:14,260
Merle storms out, he's
walking down the beach,
259
00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:16,260
guess what
he tripped over.
260
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:19,760
The mug?
261
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,770
No. A big old piece
of driftwood.
262
00:11:22,770 --> 00:11:24,270
Falls down,
gashes his head,
263
00:11:24,270 --> 00:11:26,270
he has to go to the hospital
and get 30 stitches.
264
00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:28,770
His wife comes to
comfort him, you know,
265
00:11:28,770 --> 00:11:30,770
and-- And, uh, what do you
think she brings him?
266
00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:36,780
No. Flowers.
267
00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:42,290
Mather, where the hell
did you find the mug?!
268
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:43,290
Oh, I saw your pilot,
Bob,
269
00:11:43,290 --> 00:11:44,790
getting on a flight
with it,
270
00:11:44,790 --> 00:11:46,790
and I said, "Hey,
wait a second, Bob,
271
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,290
that's Roy's mug."
272
00:11:50,790 --> 00:11:52,300
But isn't that something
about Merle?
273
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,300
Guys. Guys, guys.
Come-- Come here.
274
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,300
( clears throat )
Okay, uh...
275
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:03,810
listen.
( claps hands )
276
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:06,310
We are throwing a surprise
engagement party
277
00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:07,810
for Joe and Helen,
and, um...
278
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:08,810
you're all invited.
279
00:12:08,810 --> 00:12:09,810
It's at the Harbor House
tonight.
280
00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:11,810
We'll meet you
in the lobby at 7:30.
281
00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:14,820
Well, it's a little
last-minute, but, uh,
282
00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:17,820
it's a party, and who am I
to pass up a big sandwich?
283
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:18,820
He-he.
Hm.
284
00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:21,320
How many feet did you
go for? Eight feet?
285
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,830
No. This is Joe and Helen.
286
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:24,830
Its gotta be the 10-footer.
287
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:29,330
Remember that
12-footer they served
288
00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:30,830
at Ed Peterson's wake?
289
00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:31,830
ROY:
Oh, yeah.
Oh-ho.
290
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,340
Brace yourself,
guys. Um...
291
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:40,340
we're not having
a big sandwich.
292
00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:42,340
Excuse me, um...
293
00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:43,850
it almost sounded
like you said
294
00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:45,850
there would be
no big sandwich.
295
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,850
Oh, everyone loves
the big sandwich.
296
00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:52,360
A party without a big sandwich?
297
00:12:52,350 --> 00:12:54,860
It's-- It's-- It's--
It's-- It's just not done.
298
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:59,360
All right, enough about
the big sandwich.
299
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:00,360
I'm sure you will all be
300
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:02,360
more than pleased
with the food.
301
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:05,370
Especially after you've tasted
the marvelous poached salmon.
302
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:07,870
How many feet
did you get?
303
00:13:10,370 --> 00:13:12,370
It doesn't come
by the foot.
304
00:13:12,370 --> 00:13:14,380
Then how do you know
when you're full?
305
00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:18,380
I gotta get off
this island.
306
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,390
( exhales )
307
00:13:22,380 --> 00:13:23,390
( door
closes )
308
00:13:23,390 --> 00:13:25,890
How can you live with yourself?
309
00:13:25,890 --> 00:13:27,390
What do you mean?
310
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,890
Don't play coy with me.
311
00:13:29,890 --> 00:13:32,400
I know what you and Casey
are up to, buddy boy.
312
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:34,900
Well, great. You gonna stop by
the hotel later on and join us?
313
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:36,400
Hm?
314
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,400
Huh?
315
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,400
What, do you think
we'd leave you out, huh?
316
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,410
Got us a suite at
the Harbor House, huh.
317
00:13:43,410 --> 00:13:44,910
It's gonna be a blast.
318
00:13:45,910 --> 00:13:47,910
What?
319
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,910
Don't get
too excited. Uh...
320
00:13:50,910 --> 00:13:53,420
Casey doesn't want to
do the big sandwich.
321
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,420
What--? What--? What are
you saying?
322
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:59,920
You and Casey and me?
323
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:01,920
Well, I mean, don't forget
Roy and Lowell and Fay.
324
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:02,930
Oh!
325
00:14:03,430 --> 00:14:04,430
God!
326
00:14:05,430 --> 00:14:06,930
Well, come on.
327
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:09,930
What kind of engagement party
would it be without them, huh?
328
00:14:11,430 --> 00:14:13,440
Engagement party?
329
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:14,440
Ah.
( gasps )
330
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,440
S-s-so you and Casey
aren't, uh...?
331
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,440
( gasps )
S-so,
332
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,940
when you were talking about
a sandwich, you meant--
333
00:14:21,940 --> 00:14:24,450
Hey wait a minute.
No big sandwich?
334
00:14:24,450 --> 00:14:26,450
Um...
335
00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:27,450
Tell me about it.
Tell me about it.
336
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:31,450
Ah, but-- A-a party might--
Might finally give me a chance
337
00:14:31,450 --> 00:14:33,460
to-- To impress
Casey.
338
00:14:33,460 --> 00:14:35,960
You know, that woman
wouldn't notice me
339
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,460
if she ran right into me.
340
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,460
Oh!
341
00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:42,970
CASEY:
Okay.
342
00:14:42,970 --> 00:14:44,970
The party is all set.
( pounds fist )
343
00:14:44,970 --> 00:14:48,470
I took care of the decorations,
the food and the hotel.
Ah.
344
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:49,470
Did you take care
of your end?
345
00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:50,970
Sure I took care
of my end.
346
00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:52,980
What was my end?
( sighs )
347
00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:54,980
Ooh, I knew you
would forget.
348
00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:56,480
You are supposed to
come up with a plan
349
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:57,980
to get Joe and Helen
to the hotel
350
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,480
so we can
surprise them.
351
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,980
All right. I wasn't
gonna say anything...
352
00:15:01,980 --> 00:15:04,490
but now I have to.
353
00:15:04,490 --> 00:15:05,990
I know what you two
are up to.
( Brian sighs )
354
00:15:05,990 --> 00:15:07,490
Oh, no.
Oh, damn.
355
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:08,990
How'd you find out?
356
00:15:08,990 --> 00:15:10,490
Oh, please,
on this island?
357
00:15:10,490 --> 00:15:11,990
You sneeze in
the hardware store,
358
00:15:11,990 --> 00:15:14,500
and they gesundheit you
down at the bowling alley.
359
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:17,500
You can't go sneaking around
hotel rooms
360
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,500
and expect no one to notice.
361
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,000
Why--? Why didn't we just
do it in the hangar?
362
00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:29,010
Casey, I know
that you've been upset,
363
00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:32,010
but sleeping with Brian
is not the answer.
364
00:15:32,010 --> 00:15:33,020
Oh, what?
365
00:15:33,020 --> 00:15:36,520
Oh. No, no. No,
no, no, no, no, no, no.
366
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:37,520
See, we were just
planning--
367
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,520
Casey, why deny it?
368
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:45,530
I know we didn't want
Joe and Helen to find out
369
00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:48,030
because of
the "surprise."
370
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,530
We'll just
have to...
371
00:15:49,530 --> 00:15:51,030
do the best we can.
372
00:15:51,030 --> 00:15:52,030
Understand, my...
373
00:15:52,030 --> 00:15:53,540
love?
374
00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:55,040
( chuckles )
375
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:57,040
Yes.
376
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:59,040
But you're all wrong
for each other.
377
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:00,540
Oh, I know, I know.
378
00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:02,040
I know what you're
asking yourself:
379
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,550
What is this good-looking,
virile young guy
380
00:16:04,550 --> 00:16:06,550
doing with this pretentious,
neurotic mess?
381
00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:07,550
But, hey.
382
00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:11,050
I love her.
383
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,560
Casey? You sure
about this?
384
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:17,560
Hey.
( laughs uncomfortably )
385
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,560
I'll always
love him.
386
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:22,060
Even if he should happen to
become horribly disfigured
387
00:16:22,060 --> 00:16:24,570
in some tragic
accident.
388
00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:26,070
Like, say,
getting pinned
389
00:16:26,070 --> 00:16:28,070
underneath the wheels
of my car.
390
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,070
Oh, honey.
That is so sweet.
391
00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:44,590
You're adults,
so, you know,
392
00:16:44,590 --> 00:16:46,590
you're gonna do
what you're gonna do.
393
00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:48,590
But when this express train
to hell derails,
394
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:49,590
don't come running to me.
395
00:16:51,590 --> 00:16:53,100
( grunts )
You pig!
396
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,600
Uh.
( sighs )
397
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,100
Just didn't want to blow
the surprise, you know?
398
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,100
But admit it.
399
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:00,600
When I kissed you...
400
00:17:03,110 --> 00:17:04,610
you felt something.
401
00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:07,610
Oh. Yeah.
Your tongue.
402
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,110
And if you ever
do that again,
403
00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:11,610
I'm gonna serve it
to you on a big sandwich.
404
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:19,120
( lively theme playing )
405
00:17:26,630 --> 00:17:27,630
Helen?
406
00:17:29,630 --> 00:17:31,130
You wanna give me
a hand with this?
407
00:17:31,130 --> 00:17:32,640
Oh, never mind.
I got it.
408
00:17:32,630 --> 00:17:34,640
( sighs )
409
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,640
Can you believe they went back
to the hotel tonight?
410
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,140
What--? How do you know that?
411
00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:41,640
How do you think I know?
I called the Harbor House.
412
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,150
( sighs )
Room 412 is
registered to Brian Hackett.
413
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:46,150
You called the hotel?
414
00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:48,650
Helen, are you out of
your mind?
415
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:50,150
You don't think it's possible
for a human being
416
00:17:50,150 --> 00:17:52,150
to crawl through
that heating duct, do you?
417
00:17:53,660 --> 00:17:55,660
I'm not gonna sit here and
do nothing. I'm gonna call 'em.
418
00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:58,660
No, no, no, listen.
Listen to me. Listen.
419
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,660
Tonight we are
going to forget...
420
00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:04,670
all about Brian and Casey...
421
00:18:04,670 --> 00:18:07,170
and have
a romantic evening.
422
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,670
Oh, Joe.
Mm.
423
00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:11,670
God, that feels so wonderful.
424
00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:13,680
Okay, now you do me.
425
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,190
You know, maybe
I am overreacting.
426
00:18:23,190 --> 00:18:25,690
Maybe they are meant
for each other.
427
00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:27,190
Maybe they'll fall in love,
get married
428
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,190
and have
a couple kids.
429
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:29,690
Maybe.
430
00:18:29,690 --> 00:18:32,190
And Brian will get bored.
431
00:18:32,190 --> 00:18:33,700
And he'll start
messing around.
432
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,700
Ow.
433
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:39,700
Then Casey will
start drinking...
434
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:40,700
and living in
her bathrobe.
435
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:41,700
Ow.
436
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:44,210
Ow.
Then...
437
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:45,210
Brian will leave her.
438
00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:51,710
And Casey will collapse
from the stress
439
00:18:51,710 --> 00:18:53,720
of being a single mom.
440
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,220
And who's gonna end up
raising the kids, Joe?
441
00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:57,220
We are!
442
00:18:57,220 --> 00:18:58,720
Helen, wait.
Where are you going now?
443
00:18:58,720 --> 00:18:59,720
I'm going to stop them.
444
00:19:05,230 --> 00:19:07,730
( lively theme playing )
445
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:10,230
The plan is
very simple.
446
00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:13,740
You call Helen,
tell her that I dumped you...
447
00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:15,740
and when she hears
your pathetic sobbing...
448
00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:17,240
she and Joe will
be over in a shot.
449
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,240
Oh. Like Helen
would ever believe that.
450
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:21,740
I wanna dump you.
451
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:25,250
Nobody dumps Brian Hackett.
452
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,750
( phone rings )
453
00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:32,750
Hello?
454
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:35,760
You're kidding?
455
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:36,760
Uh, thank you.
456
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,260
Well...
457
00:19:39,260 --> 00:19:41,260
apparently
the Clam Digger Deli
458
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:44,770
has just delivered
a large sandwich.
459
00:19:44,770 --> 00:19:46,270
Big sandwich!
460
00:19:46,270 --> 00:19:49,270
It's a "big
sandwich."
461
00:19:49,270 --> 00:19:50,770
Let's go down
and get it.
462
00:19:52,270 --> 00:19:53,780
I can't believe this.
463
00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:55,780
Although I should have known
you'd do something
464
00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:58,280
to completely ruin this party.
( sighs )
465
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,780
You know something?
466
00:19:59,780 --> 00:20:02,780
In all my experience,
I have never met a woman
467
00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:05,290
who needs a big sandwich
as much as you.
468
00:20:11,290 --> 00:20:12,800
I can't believe
I let you drag me down here.
469
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,800
You know, I bet everyone in this
hotel is having sex right now,
470
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,800
except for us.
471
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:21,800
And that guy.
472
00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:32,310
Oh, just shoot me.
473
00:20:32,310 --> 00:20:34,320
Casey.
474
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,320
No, no, no, no,
no, Helen.
475
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:36,820
You can't just
barge in on 'em.
476
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:37,820
The hell I can't.
Hel--
477
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:40,320
Casey?
478
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:41,320
Brian?
479
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,330
Helen, there's
nobody here. Let--
480
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,830
Oh. What is this?
481
00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:48,830
"Joe and Helen
forever"?
( door closes )
482
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:50,830
Oh, my gosh.
483
00:20:51,830 --> 00:20:54,340
( sighs )
I am such an idiot.
484
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:57,340
That's what they were
doing here at the hotel.
485
00:20:57,340 --> 00:21:00,340
They wanted to surprise us with
this hotel room for the night.
486
00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:03,850
Oh, Joe.
Look, champagne.
487
00:21:03,850 --> 00:21:05,850
Isn't it wonderful?
488
00:21:05,850 --> 00:21:07,350
Yeah, yeah.
Sure, wonderful.
489
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,360
Oh, would you come
look at the view.
490
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,360
Yeah, yeah, view.
Let's go.
491
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:21,860
Wonder what a room
like this goes for?
492
00:21:23,870 --> 00:21:26,870
Easy now. Take it easy.
Easy. More to the left.
493
00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:29,370
More to the-- Watch
the corner! Please. Oh, sh--
494
00:21:29,370 --> 00:21:31,870
Careful.
Here, come on.
495
00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:34,380
Anything happens to
the roast-beef section
496
00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:35,880
of this sandwich,
there's hell to pay.
497
00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:38,880
Oh, great.
498
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,380
I've gone from
chairing fundraisers
499
00:21:40,380 --> 00:21:42,890
to bringing up the rear
of a giant hoagie.
500
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,890
ALL:
It's a "big sandwich!"
501
00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:49,890
( Joe humming,
Helen giggling )
502
00:21:49,890 --> 00:21:50,890
Ss!
503
00:21:50,890 --> 00:21:51,890
I hear something.
504
00:21:51,890 --> 00:21:54,400
( both giggling )
505
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:55,900
Sounds like
Joe and Helen.
506
00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:58,400
How did they find out?
I didn't call them yet.
507
00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,900
Oh, great,
the surprise is ruined.
508
00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:01,400
No, it's not.
I paid for a surprise,
509
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,910
and I'm gonna
get a surprise.
510
00:22:03,910 --> 00:22:07,410
Ready?
One, two, three.
511
00:22:07,410 --> 00:22:08,910
ALL:
Surprise!
512
00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:10,910
( Helen screams )
513
00:22:10,910 --> 00:22:11,910
CASEY:
Oh, my God!
514
00:22:11,910 --> 00:22:13,920
JOE: Helen, look.
It's a big sandwich.
515
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:19,920
Helen?
516
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,920
Helen?
Yes?
517
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:24,430
I'm in the mood again.
518
00:22:26,430 --> 00:22:28,430
Already?
519
00:22:28,430 --> 00:22:30,430
Yeah.
520
00:22:30,430 --> 00:22:32,430
God, Joe.
You're insatiable.
521
00:22:32,430 --> 00:22:33,940
Haven't you
had enough?
522
00:22:33,940 --> 00:22:35,440
I can never get enough.
523
00:22:36,940 --> 00:22:43,950
All right,
honey.
36421
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