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I'm your Greek Chorus.

Your cacophony of carnality.

The embodiment of...

The body.

And your Sherpa of suspense.

Now, come...

Come, take my hand,

and if you dare, sheathe
your sword to its hilt.

Are you up to it?

- Hey!

You still with the whip goes!

- My old friend Freddy, he
would've been impressed!

- Wunderbar!

What's this?

Ah...

Limehouse.

Nein, nein.

Let's cut out of here.

We can drive over to Salmon Creek,

swim and ball around
for a couple of hours,

before you take the
bus back to Sacramento.

- Haven't you forgotten something?

- What?

- You have not completed your assignment.

- I'm bushed.

- What you call it?

Ugh, verdammtes English.

Oh, ja, ja.

A bonus!

- That's it, asshole.

Put up or shut up.

How much?

- Hmm, something generous.

Come to the...

Nuptial couch.

- Haven't you forgotten something?

- Haven't you?

- My billfold.

Behind those whips.

Take the 100 mark bill.

- Thanks for the bonus.

- Come here.

I said, come here schnell!

And for the second 100 mark bill?

- Hurry up, I haven't got too much time.

- See you Thursday, Adolph.

Same time.

- Hey, Gwendolyn.

- Sweet little Alice, I'm
gonna top you off right.

Like I said...

- Oh, Christ...

Now, wait a minute.

Um...

Maybe we should talk about this.

Slow down, Gwendolyn.

No, wait, wait a minute!

God!

Wait a minute!

God!

Slow down!

My God!

Wait!

Sieg heil!

- Mm-hm.

Leave it to you, Gwendolyn,

to come up with something far out.

- That hunky dildo is pure poetry.

Catch me on your way back through!

- I'll pick up some new tricks in Frisco.

See you in two weeks.

Bye, slick!

Bye!

Verdammtes gramophone!

You have no business here.

Certainly not in my badezimmer.

Did I not make myself clear?

Die fisch?

Piranha fisch.

I saw those
devour a whole cow in Uruguay.

No, no!

Nein! Not in my tub!

- Poor Schwartz is dead!

Murder most foul!

Though foul and fair
today, I have not seen.

Harry the nimrod, the tool of destruction.

But who unleashed his savage appetite?

Tis the question I lay to you.

Headsperson, the assassin for hire,

at your service for a price.

Consider The Ethiopian Chef,

pummeling the scrotum
with joyous supplication,

meting out vengeance on
the colonial oppressor.

Or Limehouse, daughter of the Rising Sun...

The kamikaze of cunnilingi.

Paul, the Founding Father:

husband, punisher, and lover,

prepared to lay siege to any fountain.

Any time, any place.

Choosing, comparing, one with another.

Consider, too, Alice, the
loveliest maiden of Plymouth.

A misty phantom of passion

wallowing in the sea of carnality.

And then there is Gwendolyn,

veil as black as snow,

her angry loins the center
nave of a Gothic cathedral.

And finally, the intruder,

stealing into Schwartz's badezimmer,

at Sparta and at Athens,

leaving the devouring
instrument of destruction.

There.

There you have it.

Yet before the court adjourns,

you must consider one, and then another.

Can I be of
some assistance, miss?

- No thanks.

- Car broke down?

- No, just jogging.

Keeping in shape.

- You new here?

Can't say as I've seen you around.

- Stopped off at Miranda last night.

- Dancer?

Stripper.

- Interpretive.

- Can I give you a lift?

- We know that ain't kosher.

- Don't matter up here.

I'm the only trooper between
Garberville and Myers Flat.

Come on, jump in.

You're in good enough shape.

- Thanks anyway, but I need the exercise.

- What's your name?

- Margo.

Margo Winchester.

What's yours?

- Homer.

Homer Johnson.

Whoa! Son of a bitch!

♪ Never ever gonna leave you alone ♪

♪ Come on and make a life with me ♪

♪ My sweet satin lady ♪

- Hey, what's happening?

Okay, so you're an ideal chick!

Hey!

You hard of hearing?

Okay, I'll run through it again.

Where ya head in?

- Miranda.

♪ Come on and make a life with me ♪

♪ My sweet satin lady ♪

All right.

♪ I'm never ever gonna leave you alone ♪

♪ Come on and make a life with me ♪

♪ My sweet satin lady ♪

Music?

Whatever's your pleasure.

Staying in Miranda?

Just passing through.

- Maybe I can change your mind.

- Don't think so.

Well, all right!

That was "Satin Lady,”

number nine this week in PQFU Top 40!

Now, fasten your seat belts
and taste some head,

to this up and coming powerhouse of sound!

Yeah!

Ay-ooo!

Shortcut. Saves a lot of time.

Yeah, I'll bet.

- Son of a bitch!

Fuck off!

Nice knowing you!

- Fucking cunt!

Whoa!

- Looks like you hurt the boy!

He's all through hurting.

Over there to the road!

Go on, move!

Go on!

Now, why in the hell did
you have to go that far?

You took all the fight out of him

just before you cut off his lifestyle.

That karate's pretty mean stuff.

From what I saw, you know
how to handle yourself.

No question about that.

Breaker break!

This is Bed Bugger out of VR Town.

Anybody know where the teddy bear goes?

- Get on up there!

Stop dragging your feet.

Now, get your ass in the car!

... Til your
back door's covered,

unless you want to get bear bit.

10-1 north of Garberville is tough turkey.

Do you copy?

- Break, break!
- Bed Bugger's got a copy.

- He must have picked you up
back there where I left you.

Nobody on my tail

except a pregnant rollerskate.

Bye!

- Maybe you provoked him.

More and often, it's been my
law enforcement experience

that you gals cause a problem.

Dressing half naked...

The County
Mountie was last spotted

right in tune with the Pavement Princess

about an hour ago at Belcher's Flat.

- Yet on the other hand,

could've been an exception
with Leonard Box.

That's the boy's name.

He had a reputation for making trouble.

No question about that.

No one's gonna miss him.

Except maybe his old man.

Not that he was particularly
fond of his son,

but he's personal property,

like the mills he owns
in Belcher's Flat.

He's loaded.

Spread a lot of bread around.

See you grow old in jail.

- What are you trying to say, officer?

- Hell, there's another
way of looking at it.

You'd probably save a lot of paperwork,

and aggravation for the state.

He was bound to end up dead,
way he was heading.

Trouble with a capital "1."

- You can put the gun away now.

- Homer.

Really didn't see
everything that happened.

I was driving over to Charlie Summer's
spread at Lucas Meadows.

He's kinda stubborn,

rejecting modern conveniences
like telephones and such.

He hadn't shown up in
Miranda for several days.

I decided to look in on him,

in case he was ailing.

Then I caught the two of you struggling

over there by this cliff.

Off the corner of my
eyes, I was driving by.

Before I could get to you,
both of you fell over the edge.

Thought you were goners.

It's one hell of a drop,

enough to break a body's back.

Then I ran over just in
time to see the Box kid,

spread out like a blivet at
the bottom of the canyon.

Then I spotted you,

hanging on a root.

Real close call.

Then I got me a rope
from the black and white

and pulled you up.

Put you in the back
seat of the patrol car.

You were kinda hysterical.

Didn't blame you, after
hearing your story.

Then I called the coroner,

Lou Dougie in Garberville.

He had one hell of a
time getting to that kid.

Good he brought a couple of
loggers along to give him a hand.

Anyway, Lou checked over
what was left of him.

DOA.

Cause of death: broken back.

Reason:

fall from a great height.

Did I leave anything out?

- Only the kicker.

- Let's talk about it at my place.

- You're a real shit.

Knew it the first time I saw you.

What did they
say about stirring it up?

- That it takes one to know one.

We can't go on doing this all of the time.

Why not?

- Not without a change of pace.

Already you're unfaithful.

- Not so you'll ever notice.

Besides...

Can't afford to do any
talking in my sleep.

And that goes for you, too, Homer.

Easy.

You broke my glasses.

- Sorry.

Don't know my own strength.

Say, I think we left something out.

Ooh!

Homer!

Instead of equal
justice under the law,

Winchester finds equal
justice under Johnson.

The Buzzard's Nest,

where fair was foul and foul was fair.

A murder committed most macabre.

Paul, the most likely suspect.

Jealousy, greed, and
ambition his trio of muses.

Margo, the doe-eyed fucking machine,

every man's dream to impale
upon the Everest of passion.

Headsperson, the white rose of death,

stitching with pain 'til
all grows wan and white.

The Ethiopian Chef,

an escaped tempest of
black passion and malice.

Limehouse, almond-eyed,

impressive as the sayings of Chairman Mao.

Her body a golden zither to work magic.

Alice, maiden, lesbian, and princess,

protector of shrine and sanctuary.

The original Great Mother.

Gwendolyn, holy champion of fornication.

Husband person.

Sweet little Alice for herself alone?

Homer, much in fear of axe and rope,

but still in dreams of the night

beheld he the crimson light,

and heard the voice that defied him,

who was crucified.

Leonard Box, the victim
of his own carnal greed.

A dead end indeed if he
murdered the Nazi warlock.

For one of these people has
committed murder most foul...

But which one?

- Thanks, Alice.

- Sir?

Please.

- Tuna sand, order of fries to go!

- Thanks.

- You're welcome, Ken.

Here you are.

- Looks good.

Breaker break,
Honey Bucket out of Steeltown.

Who's got a copy out there
of the local bear report?

- Well, looks like Homer's gonna

meet his quota again this month.

How's the sausage and eggs coming?

- Here you are, babe.

- Best you get your ass back
in the patrol car with me.

- Groovy!

Break one-niner!

You're in Westpoint country, Black Pussy.

Can't give you a good
bear report right now,

so keep your ears on.

Bye!

- You wanna feel my tits?

- You trying to bribe a peace officer?

- What are you looking at?

- I'm just looking, that's all.

- I give good head.

Bugger's got
more guts than a fox

casing a hen house, 10-4.

- Never had any bad head.

What's the beaver look like?

This is a big 10-4!

10-fiver, the seat cover

looks good to Honey Bucket. Like I said...

This will speed it up.

...When there's a chance

of getting his chicken choked.

The bubblegum machine ain't
gonna move for quite a spell.

Breaker break!

Chipmunk says Honey Bucket's passing gas!

Don't drop on it unless
your ass is covered.

10-4!

Break break!

Am I hitting you, Honey Bucket?

This is Mullholland
Key out of Gurneyville.

Give me your home copy.

Break 1-fiver.

I got a copy.

Keep your ears on and
Honey Bucket will confirm

that Smokey's wiped out on my second pass.

Break
break, what's all this fuss

about Smokey getting his chicken choked?

Black Pussy's got a better way to slide-

Well, I guess Homer's

getting his lube job early today.

Dropped off a load of Horner

and Belcher's flats and caught the action.

The county Mountie is
letting it all hang out

right in the middle of town.

10-4!

- Break, break.
- You pa yin' attention...

- Say, will you look
at that gal's head go!

Break 1-fiver.

Just passed Smokey dribbling

with a foxy lady's head
and hanging in hard.

Hey, Chipmunk, you might catch the curtain

if you lean on the hammer fast.

10-4 and cut!

They're
all well bunched now

with Mary Murr down
the backside in between

Erica's Dwelling and Christy's Hollow.

And moving up is Valiant, Sleepy,

but coming through is Dildo Danny!

In the middle of the track here comes...

Break
break, now what wise-ass

packed in boners? This is Black Pussy

in a freight line of
parts south of Bimbo Lake.

Super horny and hot to trot.

Leave open your switches.

I'll talk you all four in.

First motherfucker that kisses my tractor

will tangle with more
than he can handle. 10-4!

Break break!

Am I hitting you, Dicky Bird?

This is Ho-Hen Ladda Fortuna.

- There, less than half a minute.

- Now, ma'am, consider this a warning.

Let go, you greedy cunt!

Now, get your ass out of
here before that I remember

that I represent law
and order around here.

- Better give me that warning.

- Shit!

What the fuck does that
cunt think she's doing?

. Break break!

Big Rufus here!

Just passed Bimbo and Father Neat

money rig's ringin'
around the freight line.

Tried to get a copy, but
everybody had his ears on.

Anybody out there know what's going on?

10-4!

Say, George, come here.

Is that who
we're paying our taxes for?

♪ Better get your motor running ♪

♪ 'Cause your daddy's
coming home tonight ♪

- Hey!

Say, Homer.

What's happened to our beautiful
law and order community?

Two killings in as many days.

Adolph Schwartz's bones
picked clean by a big fat fish.

In his own bathtub!

And that nice kid, Leonard
Box, broken into by some chick.

Bullshit!

The one involving the girl
was an accidental death.

Better give me the facts, Homer.

Sounds pretty kinky to me.

- Hi, Rafe. The usual?

- Yes, Alice, but this
time I'd like French bread.

- Okay.

- I can't buy that.

- Hi, Homer.

Honey, a Hay Baler for Rafe.

Well, come on! Back to the lagoon!

Slave driver.

- Homer, I hear that chick
involved in the accident

with the Box boy is a real looker.

Wild name, too:

Margo Winchester.

- Is that what they say?

- And why not?

- Okay, but nothing
better to do with my time.

♪ How's your hotblooded woman... ♪

- About this Margo Winchester.

Give me the lowdown.

- You know I like big tits.

Well, I've been converted.

Margo's got the wildest performing
ass I ever bellied up to.

Now, don't get me wrong, her
knockers are big and super,

with nipples that other
broads wish they had for tits.

Backdoor ass.

I had her headed into
the corner last night.

On her knees, right?

Well, damn, did it blow my fucking mind.

Looks like you could use
another hand at the counter!

- Oh, I sure could.

You see that sign in the window outside?

It's been there for two weeks, no takers.

- I know someone who'd
sell a lot of hot dogs.

- Oh, sounds like somebody we know.

- Maybe you wouldn't want this sex machine

exposed to your old man.

- After me, she's welcome to the leavings.

- How about a little leavings right now?

- Business first, my customers.

Then I'll try to squeeze
you in this afternoon.

Not so fast!

The rocks are hurting my feet!

We haven't got all day!

One step beyond
the abyss of ecstasy.

Yet, does the face of the gelded Hun

impose itself upon the
visage of the moment's lover?

Is the mystery buried forever 'neath

the sucking slush of the Grimpen Mire?

Or is it blatantly before our eyes?

Murder most foul,

but murder will out!

♪ Been a long time coming ♪

- Hurry back.

- Pam sand on whole
wheat, hold the mustard,

side of potato salad.
Two hot turkey sand,

heavy gravy on one!

Hey, hey!

Hurry up, men!

I bet they're like a pair of honeydews!

- Now, you hurry back.

♪ Lyin', Lyin' to me ♪

- Jesus!

Thanks, Rufus.

♪ The only woman that I care about ♪

- Where'd all this business come from?

As if I didn't know.

- I'll see you when I get off.

- Suppose I start get--

♪ Make everything all right ♪

♪ Enough amusement 'fore
the morning light, oh hey ♪

♪ Bartender, please ♪

Hi.

- Double chili, heavy mustard,
but hold the onions.

- Got it.

Double chili, heavy mustard,
but hold the onions.

- I know.

Double chili-sized, heavy on the mustard,

and hold the onions.

You've got it.

- Homer's right.

You do attract customers.

- Maybe it's my personality.

♪ The only woman that I care about ♪

Better hurry up with that hot dog.

♪ Bartender, please )

- Isn't she a doll?

I'm almost ashamed of what I'm paying her,

but I suppose the tips make up for it.

What a can on that chick.

- Yeah.

Not bad.

Looks like we're really making it, baby.

Really making it.

♪ The only woman that I cared about )

♪ But she's been lyin',
yes, yes, she's lyin' ♪

♪ She's been lyin' to me ♪

- Oh, honey, I think we'd better double

the frankfurter and hamburger order.

- Yeah.

Anything else you can think of, babe?

- Just don't lift anything heavy.

- I want you to know that you've been

a real help to us, Margo.

We appreciate it.

- Anything to pass the time.

Homer's tied up during the day.

- What's on your program now?

Like to take a ride up to
Garberville for supplies?

- Feel like a swim.

Found a great spot on Salmon Creek.

About two miles upstream
from Homer's place.

Deep pool, beautiful surroundings.

I'm heading there now.

- I'd like to strap you on sometime.

- That's a good line.

I've used it once myself.

Better get your supplies.

♪ Sweet satin lady ♪

♪ Come on and show me ♪

♪ Sweet Jezebel ♪

♪ Come on and show me ♪

♪ I'm taking the life you're leading ♪

♪ Of fancy bars and fancy hotels ♪

♪ Sweet smell of money ♪

♪ They tell me that's
the fragrance you wear ♪

♪ You're hanging in a stranger's arms ♪

♪ Smiling, putting on
with all your charms ♪

♪ There's someplace else you'd rather be ♪

How's the water?

What's the hurry?

We've got plenty of time.

- Come on!

- Woo!

♪ Come over, others you've known ♪

♪ Come on and show me ♪

♪ Show me I wasn't wrong ♪

♪ To leave my happy home ♪

♪ And I'll show you a fortune ♪

♪ Full of love ♪

♪ Gonna give you a country home ♪

♪ Never ever gonna leave you alone ♪

♪ Come on and make a life with me ♪

♪ My sweet satin lady ♪

♪ Show me I'm different ♪

♪ Come on and show me )

♪ From all the others you've known ♪

♪ Show me I wasn't wrong ♪

♪ To leave my happy home ♪

♪ And I'll show you a fortune )

♪ Full of love and happiness )

♪ Gonna build you a country home ♪

♪ Never ever gonna leave you alone )

♪ Come on and make a life with me ♪

♪ My sweet satin lady ♪

- Come on, we gotta get
your ass out of here!

Back to the reservation, Pocahontas!

Ooh, it's all red.

Looks likes you've been fucking an Indian.

- The murder still
cries out for vengeance.

The murderer still walks among us.

Do his eyes betray him?

Or is it his emotions?

The frenzy of passion
by which he endeavors

to bury the guilt of his deed.

Paul, a lean and hustling visage.

A man of many thrusts,

his hammer beating out a relentless tattoo

against the soft underbellies of his prey,

quenching only his own rapacious thirst.

His gaze veiled by the burnished
glimmer of the golden load,

sacked by the modern Visigoths

from the capitals of Christendom.

Or Margo,

of mellifluous, mucoid myrrh,

thrusting her best breast forward.

Why is she here?

Plundering the strength and draining

the sacks of men at will.

Lust and desire, molded in
the flawless configuration

that is Nietzsche's superwoman.

And Alice, steadfast wife,

sharing the everyday problems and pleasure

of marital bliss with her lord,

faithful to the letter,

even considering that her transgressions

with the dusky lesbian transgressed

upon the sanctity of a connubial ecstasy.

Tempting the palate of man,

both gourmand and
gourmet name her escopié.

Yet too much goodness
can of itself hint evil.

Tis a pity she's a whore.

Or Homer, the ex-champion
of law and order,

and a carnivorous appetite
for sexual excess;

a bull in the arena of dalliance,

every encounter an Olympic decathlon--

Ten major events of prodigious,
pornographic portrayals.

And Gwendolyn, the dark horse
in the murder sweepstakes.

What was once a duo is now a double duo.

What was once a quartet is how a trio.

Gwendolyn coming not between
Paul and Alice, but with them,

each mindful of the
other's Congo connection.

Lest she create the impression
that she was faithless,

did Gwendolyn open Pandora's
box once too often,

unleashing spirits of
Desdemona and her hapless Moor?

Aye, there's the rub.

And then those hardly worth considering,

is their seeming innocence a
cloak for deeper malevolence?

Rafe, woven from the wild ram,

rising like a rock of Gibraltar.

The Ethiopian Chef.

The black sheep is not always
the leader of the pack.

The chesty young thing!

The mortar to the pestle,

pulverizing the seed
of the gendarmerie.

Leonard Box.

Though dead men tell no tales,

should this stone be left unturned?

Limehouse, tenderly
pressed of satiny pearls.

Half an hour later,
would she murder again?

Headsperson,

an abyss of bottomless gluttony,

milking life's flowing ebb
at the master's command.

Truly the only tongue that
is understood by the savage

must be the tongue of fire that speaks

from the mouth of the cannon.

Now you've seen them, seen them all,

the common victims of a tragic fall.

But which one?

As he or she couples in illicit dalliance

with strangers in the primeval forest,

then does the face of the
dying Teuton impose itself

upon the features of the moment's lover?

Or do cries of ecstasy mingle
with memories of destruction?

A little
higher on your end, Fred!

- How's this, babe?

Straight?

- Yeah.

Okay, snug it off!

- Big night tonight, eh, Alice?

You two have really done
well for yourselves,

opening up a new place.

- Oh, don't say anything, but I've decided

to do something really nice for Margo.

- She's really looking
forward to the action tonight.

Wait 'til you see what she's wearing.

Or lack of it.

I'm afraid I'll be late for the show.

I got orders to report
to Eureka this afternoon.

Seems some evidence to the
fact that the dead Box boy--

You know, the one that raped Margo?

Had some dealings with Adolph Schwartz.

Might not be anything to
it, but you never know.

- A goddamn flat tire. Of all nights.

Where the hell is Alice?

- Went out about an hour ago.

Said she had to dress.

- Okay, we need about two more of these.

You'll find them in the
back room on the top shelf.

- I'm sorry.

Mom called.

Uncle Dave's youngest is in
the hospital with a broken leg.

Those damn motorcycles.

Great opening.

Wow, great turnout!

- We need some more beer, babe.

- Okay.

Wow, everyone's having a great time.

Tell George to bring
in some more beer, babe.

Hey, Rafe. Where's your axe?

- Cook! Get him an axe!

- Beer, beer, beer!

Beer!

- You freak idiot.

- Beer, beer!

Beer!

- Take it off!

Take it off!

- Aw, shut up!

- Aw, thanks, boys,

for the spontaneous reception.

Paul and Alice asked me to make a speech,

but that's not my style.

- Look at the knockers on that gal.

- Put a nickel in the machine.

- Come on, big baby.

Let's try one.

Come on!

Come on!

Drop it!

Come on!

Let's have the other one!

- Two for Rafe.

- Easy, big boy.

Rafe wants an encore.

- Beer! Beer!

- Better call Smokey.

Rafe's, uh...

Who's Smokey?

- Homer.

Homer Johnson. He's the
only one with the firepower

to quell Rafe when he runs amuck.

- Oh, nonsense, he's groovy.

He's just having a good time.

- Bullshit.

Take the secret passageway

and get your ass to the nearest telephone.

I'll try to keep him in
line until you bring help.

- Damn...

I hate the secret passageway.

Beer!

- Come on, take your hand off her.

I said take your fucking hand off her!

Take your fucking hand off her, Rafe!

Ahh!

- Hey!

Hey, Rafe!

Put me down!

What are you doing?

Leave me alone!

Get away from me!

Send Homer
Johnson right away, okay?

Bye-bye.

Make him stop!

- You bastard, I'm gonna Kill you!

Help me!

Please, won't somebody help me?

- Out here, Rafe!

Come on, Rafe, fuck her!

You're hurting me!

- Smokey's a-coming)!

- Whoa'!

- Smokey?

Come on, let's get out of here!

Sorry about that, Rafe.

Rafe!

Rafe, get off her, goddammit!

Get off her!

Help me! Please!

Get your filthy thing out of me!

Somebody help me!

- Paul?

You're hurting me!

Leave me alone!

- Paul? Paul!

You freak!

Stop hurting me!

- Goddamn son of a bitch!

You killed him!

You killed my man!

God, oh!

- Help me!

No!

No!

There, there.

I got here as fast as I could.

Stop your crying.

Rafe won't bother you anymore.

You'll feel better tomorrow.

You've been through a great deal.

What the hell got into Rafe?

- Look out!

Bang, bang, bang!

- Rosebud!

'Tis a far, far better thing I do!

- Homer!

No!

No!

Homer!

Oh, God!

- No!
- No!

And so the violent joinings

and sniggering betrayals continue,

absorbing the players in a quagmire

of bottomless ecstasy...

Caught up in their whirlwind
of fire and pain and passion.

But where does the killer lurk still?

Unsuspected, unsure, and now
disguised... Recall the clue.

For there are no more.

All right, I'll hang in there.

10-4.

Hm.

You?

- Yes, me.

Sweet little Alice!

- The least likely suspect.

- A cop! I should have
guessed that you were

more than just a waitress.

It was too pat, you and that clod Homer.

- Guess again, murderess.

Our relationship was merely a coincidence.

- That I find difficult to believe.

Yet fuck it.

Your death shall be the
only significant factor!

But why you?

Your motive?

The best woman shall be me!

Margo Winchester, indeed!

You and your round, muscular ass!

See what advantage it provides you

in this fight to the death!

And when did I
reveal my true identity?

True identity, huh?

Only the whore that you are!

- Then if this is the case,
why attack me now?

- You must think me a fool,

not to know of your raping!

Yes, raping my beautiful Paul!

- What?

For balling your old man?

A weakling if I ever saw one.
And a medium lay at that.

- But that's only half true.

Paul possesses both the innocence

and stupidity of a child,

and for that he can be forgiven.

On the other hand, as to
his sexual credibility...

Well, 11 inches is hardly
something to sniff at.

It was only last night as we lay

locked in liquid fulfillment

that he sleepily uttered your name.

Margo Winchester, indeed.

Yes, your stupid shitty name.

While he was still contained

within the confines of my beautiful body!

There!

Now who should wear the mantle of a woman?

- Magnificent pecs.

Shit.

But as I was saying, a
cleanly defined pelvis!

But back to Paul!

A victim of the flesh!

No weaker, no stronger than any other man!

Ah! There it is.

Mark this, flatfoot!

- No one will toy with
my old man's affections.

I've always protected
him from bad influences...

Even that disgusting fag Adolph.

Holy shit!

But why attach such importance

to your old man being wolfed by Schwartz?

- Only because he was my father.

Your father?

Then your maiden name was Schwartz.

- Schwartz, my ass!

My true name is Eva Braun Jr.

The bastard daughter of Adolf Hitler

and his flaxen-haired mistress.

- But the charred bodies discovered

outside the Führerbunker!

- Mom sacrificed herself
for the Fatherland.

Besides, she was getting along in years,

and she knew that dad
was into young chicks,

and incest as well, and
both were concerned for me,

their daughter.

I'm just wasting time.

Where the hell's the knife?

- But the holocaust that was Berlin!

The Nazi hooligans scurrying

like rats leaving a sinking ship!

Oh, here it is.

- The twilight of the Third Reich!

- Hey, wait a minute!

Shit.

Once your day in ,

the staggering Russian evidence!

- Piss on the Russians!

Zhukov concocted that
phony thing to calm Stalin!

Nobody likes to fail!

But enough of that historical shit!

I rubbed out my own father
to save my marriage!

To save your marriage?

Yes! Quite true!

Besides, Pop and I could never get it on!

His thing was young boys,

and Paul's big joint blew his mind!

Well, I tried being more broad-minded

but my old man couldn't perform

at night with all those matinees!

Not for love, mind you,
but hustling for bread!

The same dirty rotten money my Pop gouged

from the hapless filthy rail rodents!

The very money that he gave to Paul

for favoring his flabby body!

Bum kicking my Paul's proud manhood!

Not to ignore the tainted
gold that finances the saloon,

rather than the apparent
success of Alice's Cafe!

Dad deserved to die like
the chauvinist pig he was!

It's all coming together now.

This case delivers far more
than meets the eye.

The secret of Eva Braun Jr.

will die with you, bimbo!

I'll make you
eat those words, shorty!

Margo Winchester, stop!

Eternity for you is
just around the corner!

Prepare to taste the black
sperm of my vengeance!

Do kill and
revenge really compound

the obscenity of Adolf Hitler?

Oh, I know it demands a
fair trial by your peers.

And I, Winchester, will
bring you to your knees!

- That's a crock of shit!

Now that's more like it.

It was just a matter of time.

Or willpower.

Hmm. Rosebud.

I'll get to the bottom of this yet.

- Ooh, a mounting crescendo
of berserk extravaganza!

Yes!

But all in a way of introduction
to the events to follow!

A truck driver friend of mine

is heavy into marital aids and such.

Just last week she dropped off a new

Frisco trick that

I've been dying to try out.

Gwendolyn claims it offers
the best of two worlds.

If you can imagine what she means.

- Now, here's a bed that
has got a big history.

It used to belong to
this chick named Vixen.

Winchester.

Voila!

Paul!

Why?

- Because you fiendishly
murdered Mr. Schwartz.

Poor Adolph...

So misunderstood.

So wrongfully condemned for helping

to rid the world of the mongrels

that would contaminate us all.

- You hurt me, Paul. You...

- Alice...

The perfect wife.

My needs, her wants.

Sweet little Alice.

So gorgeous, yet so selfish.

- No!

- Always craving my beautiful
joint, but for herself alone.

- Fork over the rod, Paul.

- And you.

You're much the same.

Just like any other broad.

Selfish.

Self-centered.

Wanting my sylph-like
body for yourself as well.

You deserve to die as well, bitch!

No!

- You hurt me.

- You hurt my Paul, cunt.

- Freeze, murderess, or
I'll slap your can off!

One false move and it's
curtains for both of you.

- I loved you and I hate you!

- Cooperate and society will provide

suitable accommodations
for those of your ilk!

You and your big
tits and your fat ass!

- Ah, Sergeant, indeed!

Your devotion to duty,
your heroic disregard

for your own personal
safety, have earned you

my admiration and undying gratitude.

- I was glad to do it, Chief.

- May I shake your hand?

Unfortunately, your
contribution to the community

in which you serve is a thankless

never-ending responsibility.

Once more, I ask that you throw yourself,

as it were, into the breach,

and deal a quick paralyzing blow

to yet another kind of parasite

that continues to pollute
our innocent populace,

those unwary souls whose strength

stands less proud than ours.

I know your training as a police person,

your exemplary dedication to duty,

your pride of service will
stand you in magnificent stead.

May God bless...

And protect you.

- Will there be anything else, Chief?

- Meet me at the Palace Bar.

8:15.

Sharp.

- The web is torn.

The fly has trapped the spider.

Leave me now to revels
that are most private

and joyously pleasant.

You have
come a long way indeed.

And as you go, think of those whose lives

and deaths were most touched by my tale!

Rafe, the ungentle giant,

victim of momism and the liquor lobby!

Homer Johnson,

the man behind the badge!

Oh, Lord!

Bent, but not bowed,

his tarnished shield now bright once more.

Oh, blimey!

Alice!

Sweet little Alice...

aka Eva Braun Jr.

Oh, God!

But this had nothing to do with it!

The double gauges filling,
ridden hard and put away wet.

Paul!

Worry not!

Oh, bloody good!

A fox chasing his own tail!

Watch how fellatio is its own reward!

And Margo...

Margo Winchester!

Lord!

No mountain too high to climb!

No river too broad to cross!

No road too tough to hoe!

Oh God, I'm cumming!

Winchester!

Über alles!

Schmuck!

I gave you orders never
to play that record again!

Jawohl, Martin.