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1
00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:05,951
Get your bag off the table.
People eat there.
2
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,519
They eat on plates.
3
00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:10,695
Don't give me any crap,
Maizy.
4
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:12,436
I'm telling.
You said "crap."
5
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,264
There's nothing
wrong with crap.
6
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:16,658
Oh, really?
I thought that was a swear.
7
00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:18,268
No.
You're thinking of shit.
8
00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:19,400
Oh, right.
9
00:02:22,359 --> 00:02:24,579
Do you mind?
10
00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:26,189
A sixth grader
chased me on his bike,
11
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:27,930
and I was running.
12
00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:31,281
When I got
exhausted and fell down,
he whaled me with his shoe.
13
00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:33,022
Thank your parents for that.
14
00:02:33,065 --> 00:02:35,764
How come? It was their brilliant
idea to move here.
15
00:02:35,807 --> 00:02:38,245
They weren't making
enough cash in Indianapolis.
16
00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:40,682
Forget that we were
perfectly happy.
17
00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:42,640
So thank them for getting
treated like shit every day.
18
00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:44,642
I'm telling on that one.
19
00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:46,166
Shut your face.
20
00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:53,695
Your book bag
doesn't go on the floor.
21
00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:55,523
Always have a cow.
22
00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:59,396
Your nails are digging
to my arm, God damn it!
23
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:00,919
Pick it up.
24
00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:05,010
You're just supposed to
open the door for us.
25
00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:06,795
You're not supposed to
kick us around.
26
00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:09,189
I'm an American,
I have rights.
27
00:03:09,232 --> 00:03:10,799
Maizy, did I kick you around?
28
00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:13,323
No, but you said "shit" twice.
29
00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:15,499
But only once for real.
30
00:03:15,543 --> 00:03:19,199
I've got better things
to do than babysit you,
you little stain.
31
00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:22,245
Like what?
Hang out with
friends you don't have?
32
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:24,508
Why don't you just shut up?
33
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,816
Want to make me?
34
00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:31,689
When our mother figure
isn't here, I'm in charge.
35
00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:34,344
I'm sick of you
calling her that!
36
00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:35,911
Too bad.
37
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,002
You moron!
38
00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:41,960
I don't know why
we need boys at all.
39
00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:43,310
They're so loud.
40
00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:44,398
Shut up!
41
00:03:44,441 --> 00:03:46,138
Shut up yourself!
42
00:03:46,182 --> 00:03:49,446
We need boys
so they can grow up,
43
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:51,796
get married,
and turn into shadows.
44
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,148
Let the dog out.
45
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,150
Percy!
46
00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:14,036
This is such
a wonderful dinner, Mother.
47
00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:16,038
How do you find the time?
48
00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:20,608
Miles.
49
00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:24,655
Maizy, put that down.
50
00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:26,788
Did you win in
hockey yesterday?
51
00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:27,963
Hockey's been
over for two weeks.
52
00:04:34,099 --> 00:04:36,885
I guess you don't
want a hockey stick
for your birthday.
53
00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:46,286
You know what?
54
00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:51,203
When Dad goes to New York,
I'm going to take a week
off work.
55
00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:52,944
So you can interview
new housekeepers?
56
00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:56,774
I've had enough
of your ugliness.
57
00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:58,036
Oh, really? Mmm-hmm.
58
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,258
We're all just
a little tired
of the act.
59
00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:19,797
This was a really good idea.
60
00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:21,059
Thank you.
61
00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:23,105
How's that pie?
62
00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:24,193
Not bad.
63
00:05:26,282 --> 00:05:28,023
You gonna be at work
in the morning?
64
00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:31,679
I don't see
how I can avoid it.
65
00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:34,246
You don't seem
very happy about it.
66
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,858
All right,
if you gotta know,
67
00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:39,339
I'm really not that excited
about working for
my girlfriend.
68
00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:42,254
There. I said it.
It's out of the way.
69
00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:45,170
Okay, okay.
Buck, I love you.
I can't help myself.
70
00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:46,694
I wanna get married,
I wanna have a family.
71
00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:48,391
I wanna do it with you.
72
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,654
Well, you know, the clock
is ticking away here.
73
00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:54,266
I would just like to
hear the pitter-patter
of tiny feet before I die.
74
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:57,008
I'll get you a mouse
and a piece of sheet metal.
75
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:00,490
Come on.
Lighten up, will you?
76
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:02,405
Don't push my button.
I'm not gonna get into this.
77
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:04,015
I'm not pushing your buttons.
78
00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:06,496
I know me,
I know what I like.
79
00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:10,587
All right?
I like my friends.
I like my freedom.
80
00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:13,024
I like knowing
I can throw my sticks
in the trunk of my car
81
00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:15,505
and go golfing
anytime I want.
82
00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:18,073
I don't hurt anybody.
I don't see
what the problem is.
83
00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:21,424
That's the best formula
for loneliness I ever heard.
84
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:22,947
Why are we arguing?
85
00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:24,558
We're talking.
86
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:26,734
I said I'd be at work
in the morning.
I'll be there.
87
00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:29,214
Okay.
88
00:06:33,131 --> 00:06:35,395
I... I just
gotta get this out.
89
00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:38,441
I mean, I know I'm harping
on something here, but,
you know,
90
00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:40,138
just let me say it.
I mean, you know, I am...
91
00:06:40,182 --> 00:06:41,966
I'm working on history.
I'm working on the past.
92
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:45,535
You're gonna show up for work,
you swear to God?
In the A.M.? Promise?
93
00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:47,537
Chanice,
I'll be honest with you,
94
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:50,061
if I could
think of an excuse
that you would buy,
95
00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:51,149
I'd use it.
96
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,946
[RINGING]
97
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,601
Hello.
98
00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:13,607
Oh, God.
99
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:14,869
What?
100
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:16,653
Just a second.
101
00:07:16,697 --> 00:07:18,873
It's your aunt. What happened?
102
00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:21,702
Your Dad had a heart attack.
103
00:07:26,228 --> 00:07:28,273
Who's going to
watch the kids?
104
00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:32,277
Marcie.
She's right
across the street.
105
00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:34,889
She's the last person
I'd ask for a favor.
106
00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:38,849
What about the Nevilles?
107
00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:43,550
Would you call them?
108
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:45,900
I want to leave
as soon as we can.
109
00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:50,513
I am so helpless here.
110
00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:54,169
Honey, now,
don't start getting
down on why we moved.
111
00:07:54,212 --> 00:07:56,519
It has nothing to
do with what happened.
112
00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:57,477
Sorry.
113
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,743
Now, this is just a thought.
114
00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:04,309
What about Buck?
115
00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:07,356
I'm sure he'd be
glad to help out.
116
00:08:07,399 --> 00:08:09,532
This is not the time
to discuss your brother.
117
00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:11,795
I don't want him here.
118
00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:13,623
It's just a suggestion.
119
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:16,626
He doesn't have kids.
He isn't married.
He doesn't even work!
120
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:23,459
He's a little out there,
but he's responsible,
and he's family.
121
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:28,682
Buck isn't the kind of guy
I feel comfortable leaving
my kids with.
122
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:30,945
The trashy people
he hangs out with.
123
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:34,252
That woman who sells tires.
124
00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:36,994
The horse racing.
The gambling.
125
00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:39,040
Can you see him in this house?
126
00:08:39,083 --> 00:08:40,128
Okay.
127
00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:45,525
Call the Nevilles.
128
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,661
Are we going to Indianapolis?
129
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:54,272
Daddy and I are.
130
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:56,884
And we're not?
131
00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:00,365
No. I don't think
that would be a good idea.
132
00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:04,282
Thanks.
133
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,199
I love my father very much.
134
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:09,810
So why did you
move away from him?
135
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,250
If my whole family
moved away from me,
136
00:09:15,293 --> 00:09:16,860
I'd have a heart attack, too.
137
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,086
Oh, I see.
138
00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:28,916
Who gonna take care of us?
139
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:30,482
Mr. and Mrs. Neville.
140
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:32,963
Is that a joke? You don't like the Nevilles?
141
00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,878
Their dog's a ball sniffer.
142
00:09:34,922 --> 00:09:36,619
Don't talk like that.
143
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,752
Mr. Neville yelled
at Michael Larson
144
00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:40,884
because the dog was
sniffing Michael's balls.
145
00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:42,016
Don't use that word.
146
00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:43,583
I don't know another word.
147
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:45,802
Well, I'm sure we can talk
to Mr. Neville about the dog.
148
00:09:45,846 --> 00:09:48,326
Sorry, honey.
They're in Florida.
149
00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:54,724
Okay. You get in bed.
You have to get up
for school.
150
00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:56,857
Who's in Florida?
151
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,467
Get back in bed.
152
00:09:58,510 --> 00:10:00,208
What's another word
for "balls"?
153
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:02,166
Get in bed.
154
00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:06,257
"Nuts."
155
00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:12,046
What do we do?
156
00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:13,569
I don't think
we have much choice.
157
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:16,964
Can we trust him?
158
00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:21,751
Yeah?
159
00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:23,361
Buck, this is Bob.
160
00:10:23,405 --> 00:10:24,232
Bob.
161
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:26,626
Bob who?
162
00:10:29,063 --> 00:10:30,673
Buck, it's your brother.
163
00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:34,155
Bobby.
164
00:10:34,198 --> 00:10:36,157
Bobby,
hang on a minute.
165
00:10:39,116 --> 00:10:40,248
[BUCK COUGHING]
166
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:58,048
[ALARMS BLARING]
167
00:10:58,092 --> 00:11:00,137
Bobby, I just used
your Christmas present.
168
00:11:00,181 --> 00:11:02,226
Oh, the clapper.
169
00:11:02,270 --> 00:11:04,272
Bobby, you little piss ant,
how you doing?
170
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,710
Jeez. What are you, drunk?
171
00:11:10,191 --> 00:11:13,063
Hey, you know something?
We gotta get together.
172
00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:15,892
I haven't been
over to your house
since you moved.
173
00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:19,243
Hey...
I'm real sorry
about those bushes too.
174
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:23,204
I had no idea they would
all catch on fire like that.
175
00:11:23,247 --> 00:11:26,511
You know, you were right.
I should never have
put the barbecue that close.
176
00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:30,341
Buck, Cindy's father
had a heart attack tonight.
177
00:11:30,385 --> 00:11:33,040
We'd like to get down to
Indianapolis as soon as
possible,
178
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,651
but we have a problem
with the kids.
179
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,306
We're stuck for somebody
to watch them.
180
00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:40,134
If you're not doing
anything...
181
00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:42,963
Is this okay with Cindy?
This has got her approval
on it?
182
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:45,748
Oh, yeah.
183
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:49,404
That would be great!
I'd be honored! Sure!
184
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:52,624
I've still got
the one bedroom, you know,
I'm gonna get a bigger place,
185
00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:54,670
but they bring their
sleeping bags over here,
186
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,107
we'll have some fun.
We'll make tents and stuff.
187
00:11:57,151 --> 00:12:00,067
We'll get some toys
and some peanut butter.
188
00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:01,938
I thought you could come here.
189
00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:03,679
The kids have school.
190
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,899
What am I thinking about?
Sure.
191
00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:07,988
Do we wanna do this tonight
or in the morning?
192
00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:09,990
Tonight would be best, I mean,
if you could do it.
193
00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:11,556
Yeah. Tonight will be fine.
194
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,124
That'll be fine.
Don't worry about it.
195
00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:16,083
I'll pack a few things.
I'm on my way.
196
00:12:16,126 --> 00:12:17,562
Thanks. See you soon.
197
00:12:20,261 --> 00:12:21,958
He can do it.
198
00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:24,700
He was asleep,
and I woke him up.
199
00:12:26,006 --> 00:12:28,225
At this hour,
that's a good sign.
200
00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:30,401
We're all set.
201
00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:40,672
Okay. This, this, this.
202
00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:47,157
Bag, bag, bag.
203
00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:48,245
Okay.
204
00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:50,682
This one will do. This...
205
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,170
[RINGING]
206
00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:03,652
Hello.
207
00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:05,219
Chanice? Honey?
208
00:13:06,742 --> 00:13:08,396
Honey, I have some bad news.
209
00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:11,442
Let me guess.
210
00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:13,183
You are not coming in
to work in the morning.
211
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,014
Just let...
212
00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:19,189
Let...
213
00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:21,235
No, but...
214
00:13:21,278 --> 00:13:22,323
You don't...
215
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:23,803
Would you just... Let me...
216
00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:25,543
Give me...
217
00:13:28,111 --> 00:13:29,417
You're not...
218
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:30,853
Give me a...
219
00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:32,768
Goodbye.
220
00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:39,209
Oh, boy. Those kids.
I haven't seen those
kids in a while.
221
00:13:40,994 --> 00:13:42,386
Tia's got to be nine.
222
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:46,521
Nine, maybe ten. Oh, boy.
223
00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:48,262
And the two new ones,
they're...
224
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,352
Larry and...
225
00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:54,572
Larry and...
226
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:57,837
Betsy.
227
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,360
Betsy...
228
00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:02,798
Jennifer. Jennifer.
229
00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:04,669
Larry and Jennifer.
230
00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:06,062
Nice kids.
231
00:14:11,676 --> 00:14:13,809
Honey, he's 40 years old.
232
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,246
He knows his way around.
233
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:20,468
Look, why don't
you go finish packing,
and I'll watch out for Buck?
234
00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:44,579
What the hell?
235
00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:46,842
Where is everybody?
236
00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:56,547
Bob!
237
00:14:58,027 --> 00:14:59,115
Bob?
238
00:15:00,682 --> 00:15:04,164
This isn't funny!
Come on! Wake up!
239
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:05,948
I'm freezing
my ass off out here!
240
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:07,689
Oh, shit.
241
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:10,039
Come on,
I'm getting mad, Bob.
242
00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:14,043
Yo, Bobby!
243
00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:15,610
Buck? Bob?
244
00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:17,090
Buck! Bob?
245
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:18,526
Buck! Bob?
246
00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:19,657
Over here!
247
00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:23,923
[DOGS BARKING]
248
00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:31,843
You have any idea
how many big white houses
there are on this street?
249
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:34,803
What?
250
00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:36,065
Keep it down.
251
00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:39,373
What?
What do you want me
to do with my car?
252
00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:40,765
MAN: For crying out loud!
253
00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:43,377
Sorry, Mr. Hatfield!
254
00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:44,900
It's 2:00 a.m.!
255
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,946
How you doing?
256
00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:49,339
Hey, sorry I'm late. Oh, no, hey, come in.
257
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:50,732
What happened to the mustache? Thanks for coming.
258
00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:53,648
Had to shave it off. How's Cindy?
259
00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:54,910
Not well. Not well.
260
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,999
Her dad? Hard to say.
261
00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:58,783
All those medical terms, huh?
What is it, an infarction or
something like that?
262
00:16:07,792 --> 00:16:10,099
Hey, I stopped
smoking cigarettes.
263
00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:12,754
Oh, good. Isn't that something?
264
00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:16,236
I'm on to cigars now.
I'm onto a five-year plan.
265
00:16:16,279 --> 00:16:18,716
I eliminated the cigarettes,
then I go to cigars,
then I go to pipes,
266
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:21,763
then to chewing tobacco,
then I'm onto that
nicotine gum.
267
00:16:22,677 --> 00:16:23,808
Good.
268
00:16:24,592 --> 00:16:25,723
Yeah.
269
00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:29,379
Money.
I'll leave you blank checks.
270
00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:31,207
No, please.
I've got lots of money.
271
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,428
No! No, please.
272
00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:35,820
No. Look, I've got the money.
273
00:16:35,864 --> 00:16:37,692
Please, I'd like to do this,
all right?
274
00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:38,867
So... No.
275
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:40,390
No, come on, will you?
Please...Okay.
276
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:42,044
I'll pay you back
when we get home.
277
00:16:46,527 --> 00:16:49,051
I won't have any problems
cashing
278
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:51,836
a second-party
out-of-state paycheck, will I?
279
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,404
The reason I'm saying is,
I've been so busy lately,
280
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:56,624
I haven't been
able to do my banking.
281
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,060
I don't think
there will be a problem.
Don't worry about it.
282
00:16:58,104 --> 00:16:59,496
Let me just
leave you the checks.
283
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:01,368
Well, only if it's
comfortable for you.
284
00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:02,238
That'll be easier.
285
00:17:02,282 --> 00:17:04,023
I guess, sure.
286
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:07,983
Do you have a plunger here?
While I'm thinking of these
things.
287
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,594
For the morning, you know?
My plumbing is just so bad.
288
00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:12,466
Of course, yours is good
plumbing here, right?
289
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,642
Yeah. I would imagine...
Don't worry about it.
290
00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:16,470
You know,
everything will be fine.
291
00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:19,081
Just been bound up lately.
It's driving me crazy.
292
00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:21,475
I've been eating
a lot of cheese,
for some reason.
293
00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:23,999
I don't know what it is,
I've got a craving for
the stuff.
294
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,088
Think maybe that's
an allergy or something?
295
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:27,611
Yeah.
296
00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:29,570
I don't know.
I can't get enough cheese.
297
00:17:29,613 --> 00:17:31,311
I feel like a big mouse.
298
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:35,315
I don't know. Ah, well. Ah, well.
299
00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:36,838
Let's see...
300
00:17:37,795 --> 00:17:40,102
Oh, Miles' birthday.
301
00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:42,496
Forget that.
We'll be back by that time.
302
00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:44,150
Okay, then.
303
00:17:44,193 --> 00:17:46,500
This should do.
I probably won't
use any of them.
304
00:17:46,543 --> 00:17:47,892
Just in case.
305
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:50,721
Right.Great. Okay.
306
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:01,732
Here we go. I know
I've forgotten something.
307
00:18:01,776 --> 00:18:03,299
Just put...What else? What else?
308
00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:04,648
Right up. There you go.
All right?
309
00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:06,781
Okay. That looks nice.
310
00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:09,000
Here. Give me your arm.
There you go.
311
00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:10,480
This should only
be a few days,
312
00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:11,873
and I promise
I'll call you tomorrow.
313
00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:13,570
BOB: You got all
the phone numbers, right? Yeah.
314
00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:15,181
Okay. Well, we're off.
315
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:16,443
All right,
you take care of yourself.Thanks a lot, Buck.
316
00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:18,097
Okay. All right. We really appreciate it.
317
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:19,446
Thanks. Thanks. All right.
318
00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:20,751
Thank you.
319
00:18:20,795 --> 00:18:22,579
Say hi to your dad for me. You can do it.
320
00:18:22,623 --> 00:18:24,233
Drive safe, all right? Okay, now.
321
00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:25,800
Okay.
322
00:18:35,505 --> 00:18:36,506
[WHISTLES]
323
00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:51,739
Boy, that's for sure.
324
00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:07,885
Unbreakable.
325
00:19:14,544 --> 00:19:15,763
Shit.
326
00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:22,509
It's 7:02 in the A.M., you're
listening to W-I-don't-have
-to-go-to-work-today,
327
00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:24,119
brought to you
by Kobolowski Tires.
328
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,556
For the best in tires,
see Chanice Kobolowski.
329
00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:30,604
[UPBEAT SONG PLAYING]
330
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:38,829
[SINGING ALONG]
331
00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:58,980
Tia!
332
00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:04,203
You remember me?
333
00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:09,947
Uncle Buck.
334
00:20:10,861 --> 00:20:12,254
The Uncle Buck.
335
00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:22,830
Coffee drinker, huh?
336
00:20:38,585 --> 00:20:39,803
Hungry?
337
00:20:39,847 --> 00:20:42,153
No. Oh, come on, sure you are.
338
00:20:42,197 --> 00:20:44,286
Everybody loves breakfast.
339
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:46,854
You've got to
have a good breakfast,
start the day off right.
340
00:20:47,507 --> 00:20:48,508
Mmm.
341
00:20:51,815 --> 00:20:53,861
So where are the other ones?
342
00:20:53,904 --> 00:20:54,905
Other ones what?
343
00:20:55,471 --> 00:20:56,907
The other kids.
344
00:20:57,473 --> 00:20:59,301
They have names.
345
00:20:59,345 --> 00:21:00,824
Miles and Maizy.
346
00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:04,306
Are Miles and Maizy up yet?
347
00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:05,133
I woke them, thank you.
348
00:21:09,833 --> 00:21:12,271
There you go. Are you deaf?
349
00:21:12,314 --> 00:21:14,577
I said I wasn't hungry. That's one of my specialties.
350
00:21:19,626 --> 00:21:22,019
I'd rather starve,
thank you.
351
00:21:22,063 --> 00:21:24,631
Does your mom know
you drink coffee?
352
00:21:24,674 --> 00:21:26,850
I'm not doing it
to impress you.
353
00:21:27,547 --> 00:21:29,157
I appreciate that.
354
00:21:31,768 --> 00:21:33,814
Is there any particular reason
why you're giving me such
a hard time?
355
00:21:35,859 --> 00:21:38,079
Am I giving you a hard time?
356
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,082
Well, I don't know.
357
00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:43,867
Hey! How you doing?
358
00:21:43,911 --> 00:21:45,521
Who are you?
359
00:21:45,565 --> 00:21:47,567
I'm your Uncle Buck.
360
00:21:47,610 --> 00:21:48,742
Do I have an uncle?
361
00:21:48,785 --> 00:21:50,134
Unfortunately.
362
00:21:51,484 --> 00:21:53,355
Holy smokes.
363
00:21:53,399 --> 00:21:55,009
He's cooking our garbage.
364
00:22:01,842 --> 00:22:04,366
Hey, where's your sister...
365
00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:06,629
Her name is Maizy... Maizy.
366
00:22:06,673 --> 00:22:08,370
...for the second time.
367
00:22:09,023 --> 00:22:09,980
Sorry.
368
00:22:12,679 --> 00:22:14,115
You must be hungry.
369
00:22:15,290 --> 00:22:16,596
Just for you.
370
00:22:17,597 --> 00:22:19,076
Oh, my God.
371
00:22:20,251 --> 00:22:22,079
He put onions in the eggs.
372
00:22:22,123 --> 00:22:24,343
I'll gonna go check on Maizy.
373
00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:26,475
I'll fix you some cereal
when I get back.
374
00:22:43,536 --> 00:22:44,493
Can I ask you something?
375
00:22:44,537 --> 00:22:45,668
What?
376
00:22:47,235 --> 00:22:48,889
Is your sister
always this pleasant?
377
00:22:48,932 --> 00:22:51,674
No. She's usually in
a bad mood in the morning.
378
00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:55,809
Ow!
379
00:22:55,852 --> 00:22:57,376
Do you want
knots in your hair?
380
00:22:57,419 --> 00:22:59,073
Ow! Cut it out.
381
00:22:59,116 --> 00:23:00,509
I want Mom to do it.
382
00:23:00,553 --> 00:23:02,032
Mom's not here.
383
00:23:02,076 --> 00:23:03,991
She is too. No, she's not.
384
00:23:04,034 --> 00:23:05,514
She and Dad
went to Indianapolis.
385
00:23:05,558 --> 00:23:07,386
They did not.
386
00:23:07,429 --> 00:23:08,474
Okay, they didn't.
387
00:23:08,517 --> 00:23:09,823
They did?
388
00:23:09,866 --> 00:23:12,652
Yes. I'm taking care of you.
389
00:23:12,695 --> 00:23:14,393
But you can't drive?
390
00:23:17,047 --> 00:23:18,832
Where do you live?The city.
391
00:23:18,875 --> 00:23:19,789
Do you have a house? Apartment.
392
00:23:19,833 --> 00:23:20,964
Own or rent? Rent.
393
00:23:21,008 --> 00:23:22,923
What do you do?Lots of things.
394
00:23:22,966 --> 00:23:24,359
Where's your office? I don't have one.
395
00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:25,752
How come? I don't need one.
396
00:23:25,795 --> 00:23:26,970
Where's your wife?Don't have one.
397
00:23:27,014 --> 00:23:28,537
How come? It's a long story.
398
00:23:28,581 --> 00:23:30,060
Do you have kids? No, I don't.
399
00:23:30,104 --> 00:23:31,671
How come? It's an even longer story.
400
00:23:31,714 --> 00:23:33,107
Are you my dad's brother?
401
00:23:33,150 --> 00:23:34,717
What's your record for
consecutive questions asked?
402
00:23:34,761 --> 00:23:36,066
38.
403
00:23:36,110 --> 00:23:37,372
I'm your dad's brother
all right.
404
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,679
You have more hair
on your nose than Dad.
405
00:23:39,722 --> 00:23:40,810
Nice of you to notice.
406
00:23:40,854 --> 00:23:41,768
I'm a kid. That's my job.
407
00:24:16,498 --> 00:24:18,718
That's my car.
That isn't my car.
408
00:24:32,601 --> 00:24:33,602
[SCREAMING]
409
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,523
Tying your shoe?
410
00:24:47,747 --> 00:24:50,532
What time do you
want me to pick you up
after school?
411
00:24:50,576 --> 00:24:52,403
Don't bother.
I'll get a ride
with friends.
412
00:24:52,447 --> 00:24:55,711
No. I've got my orders.
What time?
413
00:24:55,755 --> 00:25:00,237
Are you really this stupid?
I said I would get a ride.
I always get a ride.
414
00:25:00,281 --> 00:25:03,545
I'll just call the school,
find out what time,
and I'll meet you right here.
415
00:25:03,589 --> 00:25:06,722
Go ahead. Call the school.
I won't be here.
416
00:25:06,766 --> 00:25:10,378
Stand me up today,
and tomorrow
417
00:25:10,421 --> 00:25:14,077
I'll drive you to school in
my robe and pajamas and walk
you to your first class.
418
00:25:15,209 --> 00:25:16,384
4:00, okay?
419
00:25:17,733 --> 00:25:20,997
I'm stunned that
I'm related to you.
420
00:25:21,041 --> 00:25:23,217
You get the pole
out of your keister,
we'll get along just fine.
421
00:25:26,699 --> 00:25:29,136
Did you ever have anyone
embarrass you like this?
422
00:25:38,624 --> 00:25:39,407
No.
423
00:25:57,381 --> 00:25:58,426
You think she hates me?
424
00:25:58,469 --> 00:25:59,862
With a passion.
425
00:25:59,906 --> 00:26:01,951
Really.
You think it's the hat?
426
00:26:01,995 --> 00:26:04,127
No. No?
427
00:26:04,171 --> 00:26:05,564
A lot of people hate this hat.
428
00:26:05,607 --> 00:26:08,915
It angers a lot of people,
just the sight of it.
429
00:26:08,958 --> 00:26:11,526
I'll tell you a story
about that on the way
to school.
430
00:26:16,836 --> 00:26:19,752
Uh-huh. Yeah, right.
Listen, Buck.
For eight years,
431
00:26:19,795 --> 00:26:22,668
you have been making plans
and breaking plans.
432
00:26:22,711 --> 00:26:24,974
What are you talking about,
hon?
433
00:26:25,018 --> 00:26:28,761
Didn't we talk last night?
Didn't we talk last night
about this?
434
00:26:28,804 --> 00:26:29,936
What did we talk about?
435
00:26:29,979 --> 00:26:31,546
Me playing the father.
436
00:26:32,765 --> 00:26:34,462
I'm glad that you can
do it for your brother.
437
00:26:34,505 --> 00:26:35,811
You sure as hell
can't do it for me.
438
00:26:36,812 --> 00:26:38,466
How could I do it for you,
hon?
439
00:26:38,509 --> 00:26:41,034
We don't have kids.
What are you talking about?
440
00:26:41,077 --> 00:26:44,864
Buck, I know you think
the job is pointless,
441
00:26:44,907 --> 00:26:46,909
and in some way,
I'm trying to
manipulate you,
442
00:26:46,953 --> 00:26:48,694
and control you
and ruin your life.
443
00:26:49,390 --> 00:26:50,434
No.
444
00:26:51,566 --> 00:26:53,046
Look, I have to
fill the position.
445
00:26:53,089 --> 00:26:54,569
It's important
to the company,
446
00:26:54,613 --> 00:26:56,179
it's important to me.
I'm swamped down here.
447
00:26:56,223 --> 00:26:57,833
Now, unless you
tell me different,
448
00:26:57,877 --> 00:26:59,922
I'm offering the job
to somebody else.
449
00:26:59,966 --> 00:27:02,446
Why don't you give me
a week to think about it.
450
00:27:02,490 --> 00:27:04,884
You know, 'cause
I don't know how long
I'm gonna be here, hon.
451
00:27:04,927 --> 00:27:09,932
And, you know,
if during that week
you see somebody in there
452
00:27:09,976 --> 00:27:13,675
that's gonna fill the bill,
hire him, part-time basis
or whatever.
453
00:27:13,719 --> 00:27:16,765
And that way, you know,
I'll make up my mind,
454
00:27:16,809 --> 00:27:19,028
and you know,
we'll see where
we are at that point.
455
00:27:19,072 --> 00:27:20,639
Okay. Well, I have to go!
456
00:27:21,204 --> 00:27:22,728
Bye-bye, hon.
457
00:27:34,217 --> 00:27:36,263
Eight. Eight more. Come on.
458
00:27:36,306 --> 00:27:38,961
Work it.
Get the circulation going.
459
00:27:39,005 --> 00:27:40,441
Come on. Step it up.
460
00:27:41,529 --> 00:27:43,574
Isn't peace wonderful?
461
00:27:43,618 --> 00:27:46,229
Mikhail Gorbachev,
the most improbable
462
00:27:46,273 --> 00:27:48,710
evil emperor in captivity,
463
00:27:48,754 --> 00:27:51,844
captivates Manhattan,
wows the UN,
464
00:27:51,887 --> 00:27:55,586
by announcing a unilateral
cut in the Soviet military,
465
00:27:55,630 --> 00:27:59,286
smiles and waves
with erstwhile cold warriors
466
00:27:59,329 --> 00:28:00,809
Ronald Reagan...
467
00:28:03,029 --> 00:28:04,334
[WHINES]
468
00:28:12,778 --> 00:28:15,519
The stock market has
its best week since July.
469
00:28:16,782 --> 00:28:17,913
Take that Karl Marx.
470
00:28:18,392 --> 00:28:19,785
[SNORING]
471
00:28:48,944 --> 00:28:51,120
Would you like to talk
about a possible lunch trade?
472
00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:42,258
Cover your ears.
473
00:29:42,302 --> 00:29:43,390
What? Just do it.
474
00:29:43,433 --> 00:29:44,391
[CAR BACKFIRES]
475
00:29:50,789 --> 00:29:53,661
Do you know
how whipped an engine
has to be to blow that loud?
476
00:30:02,278 --> 00:30:03,584
Call me.
477
00:30:05,673 --> 00:30:07,196
You ever hear of a tune-up?
478
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:08,676
[CHUCKLING]
479
00:30:08,719 --> 00:30:10,634
[LAUGHS MOCKINGLY]
480
00:30:10,678 --> 00:30:12,375
You ever hear
of a ritual killing?
481
00:30:12,419 --> 00:30:13,942
[CONTINUES MOCKING]
482
00:30:15,422 --> 00:30:17,206
I don't get it.
483
00:30:17,250 --> 00:30:18,860
You gnaw on her face
in public like that again,
and you'll be one.
484
00:30:23,909 --> 00:30:25,127
Hey!
485
00:30:31,307 --> 00:30:33,179
Are you crazy? I can be.
486
00:30:33,222 --> 00:30:34,745
You could have
taken his head off!
487
00:30:34,789 --> 00:30:36,356
Yeah, but would he notice?
488
00:30:36,399 --> 00:30:38,619
Can we get
something straight?
489
00:30:38,662 --> 00:30:40,882
The guy's a predator,
and you're his prey.
490
00:30:40,926 --> 00:30:42,928
Oh, really. You bet.
491
00:30:42,971 --> 00:30:44,581
And how do you know?
492
00:30:44,625 --> 00:30:46,757
When I was his age,
I was the guy
zooming the girls like you.
493
00:30:48,237 --> 00:30:50,587
Pretty face,
big chip on your shoulder.
494
00:30:50,631 --> 00:30:52,720
I recommend that you
stay out of my personal life.
495
00:30:54,591 --> 00:30:56,376
Do your parents stay out
of your personal life?
496
00:30:56,419 --> 00:30:58,595
They don't know
my personal life.
497
00:31:00,467 --> 00:31:01,642
Have they met twiddle dink?
498
00:31:03,339 --> 00:31:04,688
His name is Bug. [SCOFFS]
499
00:31:06,516 --> 00:31:08,605
First or last?
500
00:31:08,649 --> 00:31:10,999
First. What's his last name, Spray?
501
00:31:14,829 --> 00:31:17,484
You should talk, Buck.
502
00:31:35,763 --> 00:31:36,851
No.
503
00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:37,983
No. N-O.
504
00:31:39,332 --> 00:31:40,899
Don't look at me like that.
505
00:31:42,074 --> 00:31:43,292
Don't.
506
00:31:44,380 --> 00:31:45,512
That's not fair.
507
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:53,912
Don't you have
a favorite doll
or something?
508
00:31:55,739 --> 00:31:57,045
Why don't we get
one of your dolls
509
00:31:57,089 --> 00:31:58,351
and put your dad's
pajamas on him?
510
00:31:58,394 --> 00:31:59,439
No.
511
00:32:06,489 --> 00:32:08,665
Your brother!
What about your brother?
512
00:32:10,189 --> 00:32:12,495
How about the dog?
You know the dog.
513
00:32:18,371 --> 00:32:19,894
You can't.
You just can't.
514
00:32:22,070 --> 00:32:25,682
It's a new law.
That's it.
It's in the books.
515
00:32:28,250 --> 00:32:29,817
You don't want
to sleep with me.
516
00:32:29,860 --> 00:32:31,340
[PHONE RINGING]
517
00:32:31,384 --> 00:32:32,820
Can somebody get that,
please?
518
00:32:35,823 --> 00:32:37,912
Do I have to do
everything around here?
519
00:32:43,265 --> 00:32:44,658
MILES:
Yo.
520
00:32:44,701 --> 00:32:46,573
CINDY:
Hi, sweetie. How are you?
521
00:32:46,616 --> 00:32:48,836
Fine. I'm earning my keep.
522
00:32:48,879 --> 00:32:51,143
Uncle Buck's got me
busting my hump.
523
00:32:51,186 --> 00:32:54,146
He says a little hard work
will put hair on my chest.
524
00:32:54,189 --> 00:32:55,408
At least
I'm learning a trade.
525
00:32:55,451 --> 00:32:57,758
That's good.
526
00:32:57,801 --> 00:32:59,934
Grandpa's feeling
a little bit better.
527
00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:02,981
And he sent you
big hugs and kisses.
528
00:33:03,024 --> 00:33:03,982
Tell him to hang in there.
529
00:33:05,635 --> 00:33:07,115
Can you get Uncle Buck?
530
00:33:07,159 --> 00:33:08,334
Will do, chickie.
531
00:33:10,075 --> 00:33:11,337
Mom.
532
00:33:11,380 --> 00:33:13,252
Hi.
533
00:33:13,295 --> 00:33:15,689
Next time you take off,
why don't you hire
a murderer to watch the house?
534
00:33:17,082 --> 00:33:19,040
This guy's a joke.
535
00:33:19,084 --> 00:33:22,217
Well, why don't you
just go your way
and let him go his.
536
00:33:23,653 --> 00:33:26,004
While he systematically
dismantles my life.
537
00:33:26,047 --> 00:33:29,224
Another drawback
is I'm a big drooler.
538
00:33:29,268 --> 00:33:30,747
You could wake up
in the middle
of the night
539
00:33:30,791 --> 00:33:32,314
thinking you were
asleep in a swamp.
540
00:33:32,358 --> 00:33:33,837
Mom's on the phone.
541
00:33:33,881 --> 00:33:35,926
Oh, good.
I'll be right there.
542
00:33:35,970 --> 00:33:38,146
The guy took off and
left Miles and Maizy alone.
543
00:33:40,235 --> 00:33:43,456
Plus...he drinks.
544
00:33:43,499 --> 00:33:45,284
Did you brush
your teeth?
545
00:33:45,327 --> 00:33:47,329
Yeah.
You can feel
my toothbrush.
546
00:33:47,373 --> 00:33:50,811
I have a friend
who works at the crime
lab at the police station.
547
00:33:50,854 --> 00:33:52,639
I could give him
your toothbrush
548
00:33:52,682 --> 00:33:55,642
and he could run
a test on it to see if you
actually brushed your teeth
549
00:33:55,685 --> 00:33:58,340
or just ran your toothbrush
under the faucet.
550
00:34:06,609 --> 00:34:10,265
If that's true,
we're gonna really have to
start brushing our teeth.
551
00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:13,616
Hi. How are you?
552
00:34:13,660 --> 00:34:15,096
CINDY:
I'm okay.
How's everything?
553
00:34:15,140 --> 00:34:16,576
Good. Good.
554
00:34:17,142 --> 00:34:18,665
You sure?
555
00:34:18,708 --> 00:34:20,928
Everything is fine here.
Everything is fine.
556
00:34:21,581 --> 00:34:23,104
Kids are okay?
557
00:34:23,148 --> 00:34:25,759
Kids are great!
We're having
a great time together.
558
00:34:25,802 --> 00:34:27,500
How's your dad?
559
00:34:27,543 --> 00:34:30,111
He's okay. He's okay.
He's getting better.
Thanks.
560
00:34:30,155 --> 00:34:32,418
Good. Well, that's good news.
That's encouraging.
561
00:34:32,461 --> 00:34:34,072
I've got a real
good feeling about this.
He's gonna be fine.
562
00:34:35,247 --> 00:34:37,597
I've got a few questions
for you.
563
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:40,121
You know, you got
an interesting set of plates
in the living room there.
564
00:34:40,165 --> 00:34:41,253
Are they old?
565
00:34:41,296 --> 00:34:42,341
Yeah.
566
00:34:42,384 --> 00:34:43,385
They are.
567
00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:47,041
Where would you find
something like that?
568
00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:49,217
In an antique shop
downtown or something?
569
00:34:51,350 --> 00:34:52,960
In England.
570
00:34:53,003 --> 00:34:54,004
[WHISTLES]
Everything else seems...
571
00:35:00,141 --> 00:35:02,926
How many times a day
do you feed a dog
like that?
572
00:35:02,970 --> 00:35:06,539
How many times a day
do you think he eats?
573
00:35:07,235 --> 00:35:09,368
Four or five.
574
00:35:09,411 --> 00:35:11,196
I should have told you
that he eats once.
He eats once a day.
575
00:35:12,197 --> 00:35:13,372
Just once.
576
00:35:14,982 --> 00:35:17,376
What does he like
to drink? Water?
577
00:35:17,419 --> 00:35:19,508
Yes. He drinks water.
578
00:35:19,552 --> 00:35:21,206
I'd keep some water out.
579
00:35:21,249 --> 00:35:22,990
I've been leaving
the toilet seats up.
580
00:35:24,209 --> 00:35:26,341
Yeah.
581
00:35:26,385 --> 00:35:28,300
Is that what
the blue water is?
It's not good for him.
582
00:35:28,343 --> 00:35:30,606
[GROANS] Oh, God.
583
00:35:30,650 --> 00:35:32,260
That might account
for something.
584
00:35:32,869 --> 00:35:34,262
Nothing.
585
00:35:34,306 --> 00:35:38,266
Just an odd coloration
out on the grass.
586
00:35:39,224 --> 00:35:40,660
Buck, um...
587
00:35:43,097 --> 00:35:46,622
I just want you to know
it makes me feel very secure
to know that you're there.
588
00:35:50,409 --> 00:35:51,584
[CRYING]
Thank you very much.
589
00:35:51,627 --> 00:35:52,889
Okay. Bye-bye.
590
00:36:00,201 --> 00:36:01,246
Bob!
591
00:36:02,072 --> 00:36:03,161
Bob!
592
00:37:27,332 --> 00:37:28,115
[SIGHS]
593
00:37:36,471 --> 00:37:37,907
Cindy.
594
00:37:47,874 --> 00:37:49,223
Come on. Open up.
595
00:37:51,660 --> 00:37:52,879
Hello.
596
00:38:01,496 --> 00:38:02,889
BUCK: I'm getting mad.
597
00:38:02,932 --> 00:38:04,325
All right.
598
00:38:04,369 --> 00:38:06,371
Get ready. Here I come.
599
00:38:06,414 --> 00:38:07,894
Come on.
600
00:38:07,937 --> 00:38:09,330
What? Do I have
to talk dirty to you?
601
00:38:09,374 --> 00:38:10,592
Come on,
open up for daddy.
602
00:38:13,116 --> 00:38:15,205
There we go.
Come on.
Nice and easy.
603
00:38:17,991 --> 00:38:19,427
Come on, there we go.
Ah! Take that!
604
00:38:19,471 --> 00:38:21,429
Take that!
Come on! You don't want
the crowbar, do you?
605
00:38:21,473 --> 00:38:22,474
Come on!
606
00:38:23,823 --> 00:38:25,433
Open up!
607
00:38:25,477 --> 00:38:27,348
Come on!
608
00:38:27,392 --> 00:38:29,568
I'm going to
shove my load into you
whether you like it or not.
609
00:38:29,611 --> 00:38:30,395
Come on! [GROANS]
610
00:38:31,613 --> 00:38:32,962
Come on,
you son of a bitch.
611
00:38:33,528 --> 00:38:34,529
Open up.
612
00:38:37,576 --> 00:38:38,707
Okay. [SIGHS]
613
00:38:48,674 --> 00:38:49,718
[SCREAMING]
614
00:38:54,723 --> 00:38:56,072
Freeze! What?
615
00:38:56,116 --> 00:38:58,161
Who are you? Cindy!
616
00:38:58,205 --> 00:38:59,511
She's in Indianapolis.
617
00:38:59,554 --> 00:39:01,774
What's she doing
in Indianapolis?
618
00:39:01,817 --> 00:39:03,645
Her father had a heart attack.
619
00:39:03,689 --> 00:39:06,605
Who are you?
And how do you know
her father had a heart attack?
620
00:39:06,648 --> 00:39:08,084
I'm her brother-in-law.
621
00:39:08,128 --> 00:39:10,130
Oh, yeah!
Who you talking dirty to?
622
00:39:13,438 --> 00:39:15,309
The washing machine.
623
00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:16,876
I...
I don't know
how to work it,
624
00:39:16,919 --> 00:39:18,660
so I was kicking it
and swearing at it,
625
00:39:18,704 --> 00:39:21,010
you know, which is not
an uncommon thing to do.
626
00:39:21,837 --> 00:39:23,317
And you thought that...
627
00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:24,797
[CHUCKLING] Oh, jeez...
628
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:26,276
I apologize.
629
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:27,190
Okay.
630
00:39:29,541 --> 00:39:31,151
Boy! That's funny.
631
00:39:33,632 --> 00:39:35,764
I live across the street.
632
00:39:35,808 --> 00:39:36,852
My name is Marcie.
633
00:39:37,462 --> 00:39:38,201
Buck Russell.
634
00:39:39,551 --> 00:39:41,291
Marcie Dahlgren-Frost.
635
00:39:41,335 --> 00:39:42,684
Dahlgren is my maiden name.
636
00:39:42,728 --> 00:39:44,512
Frost is my married name.
637
00:39:44,556 --> 00:39:46,862
I'm single again,
but I never bothered
to lose the Frost.
638
00:39:48,298 --> 00:39:50,300
And I get compliments
on the hyphen.
639
00:39:50,344 --> 00:39:51,998
Sure you would.
Sure you would.
Yeah.
640
00:39:54,043 --> 00:39:56,611
Well, I came
to invite Cindy
to lunch.
641
00:39:56,655 --> 00:39:59,484
But since she's not here,
do you have plans?
642
00:39:59,527 --> 00:40:02,487
Actually, I got a lot
of things to do around here.
643
00:40:02,530 --> 00:40:04,010
Rain check?
644
00:40:05,054 --> 00:40:07,448
I'll only be here
a couple days.
645
00:40:07,492 --> 00:40:09,494
Cindy said it would
only be a couple days?
646
00:40:09,537 --> 00:40:12,235
Well, she didn't specify.
I just assumed, you know.
647
00:40:12,279 --> 00:40:15,413
My father's heart attack,
I was out of town
for three weeks.
648
00:40:15,456 --> 00:40:17,545
No wonder Cindy
didn't call me.
649
00:40:17,589 --> 00:40:20,026
You need a relative
for an imposition this size.
650
00:40:31,167 --> 00:40:32,212
Waiting for your sex?
651
00:40:33,256 --> 00:40:34,301
Shut up.
652
00:40:34,693 --> 00:40:35,781
Tia.
653
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:39,088
Tia.
654
00:40:40,916 --> 00:40:43,789
What did you blow
all that make-up for?
We're just going bowling.
655
00:40:44,833 --> 00:40:46,052
I'm not going bowling.
656
00:40:46,095 --> 00:40:47,706
Come on, it's a great sport.
657
00:40:47,749 --> 00:40:49,969
And it's virtually
impossible to get pregnant
while doing it.
658
00:40:50,012 --> 00:40:51,013
If you catch my drift.
659
00:40:51,666 --> 00:40:54,190
You're disgusting.
660
00:40:54,234 --> 00:40:56,149
I'll die before
I go anywhere with you.
661
00:40:56,845 --> 00:40:58,107
It's gonna be fun.
662
00:40:58,151 --> 00:40:59,805
They have rent-a-shoes.
663
00:40:59,848 --> 00:41:01,894
And rent-a-foot-disease.
664
00:41:01,937 --> 00:41:03,852
We've done
the battle of the wills.
665
00:41:03,896 --> 00:41:05,985
The deck's stacked
in my favor.
666
00:41:06,028 --> 00:41:06,768
You're just gonna
lose again.
667
00:41:07,943 --> 00:41:10,337
Try me.
668
00:41:10,380 --> 00:41:12,034
How'd you like to spend
the next several nights
669
00:41:12,078 --> 00:41:15,690
wondering if your crazy
out-of-work bum uncle
670
00:41:15,734 --> 00:41:17,605
will shave your head
while you sleep?
671
00:41:18,693 --> 00:41:19,738
See you in the car.
672
00:41:20,608 --> 00:41:22,001
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
673
00:41:22,044 --> 00:41:23,045
[MIMICS SHAVER BUZZING]
674
00:41:51,770 --> 00:41:53,162
Yeah!
675
00:41:59,429 --> 00:42:01,083
There you go.
676
00:42:01,127 --> 00:42:02,650
Now, this is
a bowling ball.
677
00:42:36,902 --> 00:42:38,033
How you doing?
678
00:42:38,077 --> 00:42:40,253
I've never seen you
here before.
679
00:42:40,296 --> 00:42:42,342
I know about everybody.
680
00:42:42,385 --> 00:42:44,039
That's why
they call me Pal.
681
00:42:45,737 --> 00:42:47,173
Buy you a beer?
682
00:42:48,391 --> 00:42:49,958
You must be
a college student, right?
683
00:42:51,264 --> 00:42:52,961
Cheerleader, probably.
684
00:42:54,441 --> 00:42:55,703
You look firm.
685
00:42:56,704 --> 00:42:58,271
Come on. Give it a push.
686
00:42:59,838 --> 00:43:03,319
You like all-terrain vehicles?
687
00:43:03,363 --> 00:43:08,194
I got a brand-new
Bronco right out in
the parking lot. Red.
688
00:43:09,151 --> 00:43:10,500
Want to go for a ride?
689
00:43:14,504 --> 00:43:16,811
Maizy,
if the object
of the game were
690
00:43:16,855 --> 00:43:20,293
to get the ball
as close to the pins
without knocking any over,
691
00:43:20,336 --> 00:43:22,687
you would be champion
of the world.
692
00:43:22,730 --> 00:43:24,166
Really? Really.
693
00:43:31,565 --> 00:43:33,654
My throat sort of hurts.
694
00:43:33,698 --> 00:43:34,481
I can't talk.
695
00:43:35,525 --> 00:43:36,788
I got a cure for that.
696
00:43:43,098 --> 00:43:44,360
Buck.
697
00:43:44,404 --> 00:43:46,406
You got a game somewhere, Pal?
698
00:43:46,449 --> 00:43:47,755
Yeah.
699
00:43:47,799 --> 00:43:49,322
You won't get any strikes
sitting there, are you?
700
00:43:49,365 --> 00:43:50,410
Move it!
Go on, get out!
701
00:43:54,501 --> 00:43:56,938
Hey, shithead!
Where the hell
you been, huh?
702
00:43:56,982 --> 00:43:59,332
[BOTH VOCALIZING]
703
00:43:59,375 --> 00:44:01,073
BOTH: Hey! Hey! Hey!
704
00:44:02,683 --> 00:44:04,946
Come on, sit down.
I want you
to meet my niece.
705
00:44:04,990 --> 00:44:06,861
Tia, this is Rog.
Rog, Tia.
706
00:44:06,905 --> 00:44:08,602
Hi. How are you?
707
00:44:08,646 --> 00:44:11,213
E. Roger Coswell.
708
00:44:11,257 --> 00:44:13,259
Come on.
It ain't gonna bite.
709
00:44:15,740 --> 00:44:19,569
Okay. You've got to let
somebody know where you are.
710
00:44:19,613 --> 00:44:21,659
I've been checking
car trunks for your corpse.
711
00:44:21,702 --> 00:44:23,704
Yeah, I'm sorry
about that.
712
00:44:23,748 --> 00:44:25,445
I've been out in the suburbs
looking after my brother's
kids for a few days.
713
00:44:26,881 --> 00:44:28,535
They're cute!
Oh, I tell you.
714
00:44:28,578 --> 00:44:31,103
Art Linkletter was right,
kids do say
the god damnedest things.
715
00:44:31,146 --> 00:44:32,974
Is Chanice here?
716
00:44:33,018 --> 00:44:35,716
No. I'm kinda
flying solo tonight.
717
00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:37,936
I want to let her have it
for not marrying you.
718
00:44:37,979 --> 00:44:40,678
You know, if she caged you
and married your
worthless butt,
719
00:44:40,721 --> 00:44:42,462
I'd be able to find you.
720
00:44:42,505 --> 00:44:44,856
I got to talk business.
I can't find you.
721
00:44:44,899 --> 00:44:47,902
Why don't we step
in my office, then?
722
00:44:47,946 --> 00:44:49,687
Excuse us, will you.
Come on.
723
00:44:50,688 --> 00:44:51,950
It was nice meeting you.
724
00:44:51,993 --> 00:44:53,560
I'll remember it always.
725
00:44:57,782 --> 00:44:59,131
Cute kid.
726
00:45:00,001 --> 00:45:01,568
Jimmy Bean called.
727
00:45:02,525 --> 00:45:03,657
Oh, yeah?
728
00:45:03,701 --> 00:45:05,137
He's coming in
for the Winter Million
729
00:45:05,180 --> 00:45:07,487
at Burlington Park
on Friday.
730
00:45:07,530 --> 00:45:10,142
He says it's a boat race.
Very easy money.
731
00:45:10,185 --> 00:45:11,839
He owes you
and he owes me.
732
00:45:11,883 --> 00:45:14,320
So he says
we should show up
an hour before post time
733
00:45:14,363 --> 00:45:16,104
and he'll
give us the tip.
734
00:45:16,148 --> 00:45:19,412
Consider this, Buck,
with this score,
your whole year's covered.
735
00:45:21,370 --> 00:45:22,371
Huh?
736
00:45:25,026 --> 00:45:26,419
Maybe I can make it work.
737
00:45:27,899 --> 00:45:29,509
I'll see you Friday night.
738
00:45:30,249 --> 00:45:31,337
Thanks, Rog.
739
00:45:31,380 --> 00:45:33,469
Watch the sterno,
will you?
740
00:45:39,084 --> 00:45:40,738
Hey,
watch your fingers.
741
00:45:41,739 --> 00:45:42,565
Yay!
742
00:45:44,698 --> 00:45:47,005
What's a Chanice?
743
00:45:47,048 --> 00:45:49,747
That's someone
who's sometimes
seen around a Buck.
744
00:45:49,790 --> 00:45:51,444
Your girlfriend?
745
00:45:51,487 --> 00:45:54,795
A friend, and, yes,
she is a girl.
746
00:45:54,839 --> 00:45:56,971
Are you supposed
to marry her or something?
747
00:45:57,015 --> 00:46:01,019
The subject has come up, yes,
but nothing serious.
748
00:46:01,062 --> 00:46:03,412
Maybe if you got married,
you'd stop being
such an asshole.
749
00:46:09,418 --> 00:46:10,463
Cigar?
750
00:46:10,942 --> 00:46:12,421
No, thanks.
751
00:46:12,465 --> 00:46:14,206
Let me know if
you change your mind.
752
00:46:14,249 --> 00:46:16,382
I will.
753
00:46:16,425 --> 00:46:17,949
I'll get it nice
and juicy for you.
754
00:46:29,221 --> 00:46:32,224
This is
where you separate
the men from the boys.
755
00:46:34,487 --> 00:46:38,056
Easy. Easy.
There you go. Yeah.
756
00:46:38,099 --> 00:46:39,709
I got you now.
757
00:46:51,809 --> 00:46:53,811
Happy birthday!
758
00:46:53,854 --> 00:46:54,594
Whoo!
759
00:46:56,596 --> 00:46:58,206
I hope you're hungry.
760
00:46:59,773 --> 00:47:00,948
You should see the toast!
761
00:47:00,992 --> 00:47:02,515
I couldn't even
get it through the door.
762
00:47:10,740 --> 00:47:13,831
Ah, announcement here.
763
00:47:13,874 --> 00:47:16,050
There's going to be
a little delay on the clown.
764
00:47:16,094 --> 00:47:17,530
What clown?
765
00:47:17,573 --> 00:47:19,271
Miles' mom hired a clown.
766
00:47:19,314 --> 00:47:20,315
[EXCLAIMS]
767
00:47:22,883 --> 00:47:24,493
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
768
00:47:28,367 --> 00:47:29,368
[GROANS]
769
00:47:30,412 --> 00:47:31,413
[BELCHES]
770
00:47:35,678 --> 00:47:37,767
What's the matter?
You don't like clowns?
771
00:47:37,811 --> 00:47:39,552
[DOORBELL RINGING]Yeah. About five years ago.
772
00:47:39,595 --> 00:47:41,728
Clowns are so boring,
they make me puke.
773
00:47:43,077 --> 00:47:44,774
[MUMBLING]
774
00:47:46,472 --> 00:47:48,343
Screw them.
That's all they get.
775
00:47:49,388 --> 00:47:50,519
[LAUGHING]
776
00:47:50,563 --> 00:47:52,347
I'm Pooter-The-Clown.
777
00:47:52,391 --> 00:47:53,522
Put it there.
778
00:47:55,133 --> 00:47:56,569
[HONKS]
779
00:47:56,612 --> 00:47:58,092
The kids will love that.
780
00:47:58,136 --> 00:48:00,094
I didn't order you.
My sister-in-law did.
781
00:48:00,138 --> 00:48:02,705
She's not here right now.
I'm looking after them.
I'm the uncle.
782
00:48:02,749 --> 00:48:03,924
I'm Buck Russell.
783
00:48:03,968 --> 00:48:06,448
Great, listen,
I'm sorry I'm late.
784
00:48:06,492 --> 00:48:09,930
I was
at this all-night
bachelorette party.
785
00:48:09,974 --> 00:48:11,192
Need any dildo jokes?
786
00:48:11,236 --> 00:48:12,846
Wham! I'm the guy!
787
00:48:17,807 --> 00:48:20,245
What did you have?
A few drinks this morning?
788
00:48:20,288 --> 00:48:23,074
Huh? I think you did,
didn't you?
789
00:48:23,117 --> 00:48:24,597
Who are you?
Mother Cabrini?
790
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:26,207
You never
touch the stuff?
791
00:48:26,251 --> 00:48:27,948
No, no, no,
792
00:48:27,992 --> 00:48:30,733
but I wouldn't be drinking
if I was going to
entertain some kids.
793
00:48:30,777 --> 00:48:32,997
I don't have
to take any shit
from you.
794
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:34,694
You know who I am?
795
00:48:34,737 --> 00:48:37,958
In the field of
local live home
entertainment,
796
00:48:38,002 --> 00:48:39,177
I'm a God!
797
00:48:40,526 --> 00:48:43,485
Get in your mouse
and get out of here.
798
00:48:43,529 --> 00:48:45,748
Hey, you, let me
tell you something,
799
00:48:45,792 --> 00:48:50,318
you low-life, lying,
four-flushing sack of shit.
800
00:48:54,627 --> 00:48:55,628
[GROWLS]
801
00:49:13,689 --> 00:49:15,604
Let's go out
to the car, huh?
802
00:49:17,998 --> 00:49:18,956
Why?
803
00:49:20,435 --> 00:49:22,524
What do you mean,
why?
804
00:49:28,313 --> 00:49:29,618
Not now.
805
00:49:30,576 --> 00:49:31,707
It's fine.
806
00:49:34,145 --> 00:49:35,668
It's not fine.
807
00:49:36,582 --> 00:49:37,626
Why not?
808
00:49:39,672 --> 00:49:41,456
I just don't
feel right yet.
809
00:49:43,415 --> 00:49:44,982
You ever going
to feel right?
810
00:49:51,510 --> 00:49:52,990
I don't get
where we're going.
811
00:49:53,033 --> 00:49:56,036
I told you 25 times.
We're going to pick up Tia.
812
00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:58,038
She's at
a cheerleader's house
having dinner.
813
00:49:58,082 --> 00:49:59,909
Well, so she says.
814
00:49:59,953 --> 00:50:02,086
Since when do cheerleaders
live in the woods?
815
00:50:07,004 --> 00:50:08,831
Come on.
I'll take you home now.
816
00:50:11,051 --> 00:50:12,748
I don't want to go home.
817
00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:18,319
I'm okay.
818
00:50:19,146 --> 00:50:20,234
Sure?
819
00:50:24,717 --> 00:50:25,935
Trust me.
820
00:50:35,293 --> 00:50:36,424
[CAR BACKFIRES]
821
00:50:38,122 --> 00:50:39,384
Shit! Shit!
822
00:50:56,792 --> 00:50:59,099
Well, well, well.
823
00:50:59,143 --> 00:51:02,494
They certainly are scraping
the bottom of the barrel
for cheerleaders these days.
824
00:51:03,886 --> 00:51:06,454
What are you doing here?
825
00:51:06,498 --> 00:51:08,717
We were just driving by,
going out for some ice cream.
826
00:51:08,761 --> 00:51:10,980
Thought you might
like to join us.
827
00:51:11,024 --> 00:51:13,896
I said I would
be home at 10:00.
It's not even 9:00.
828
00:51:17,857 --> 00:51:21,730
Who said anything about that?
I just thought you'd like
to join us for some ice cream.
829
00:51:21,774 --> 00:51:23,776
Maybe your Bug here
can join us.
830
00:51:23,819 --> 00:51:25,952
We can talk about
burying the hatchet.
831
00:51:25,995 --> 00:51:28,128
You know what
a hatchet is,
don't you, Bug?
832
00:51:28,172 --> 00:51:29,608
It's an ax?
833
00:51:29,651 --> 00:51:32,045
Sort of. Yeah. Yeah.
834
00:51:32,089 --> 00:51:33,916
I got one in the car
if you'd like to see it.
835
00:51:35,744 --> 00:51:36,963
I'll pass.
836
00:51:37,006 --> 00:51:40,009
Fair enough.
I like to carry it.
837
00:51:40,053 --> 00:51:41,707
You never know
when you're gonna need it.
838
00:51:42,969 --> 00:51:46,190
A situation
may come up, say,
839
00:51:46,233 --> 00:51:50,672
for example, someone's been
drinking and about to drive
a loved one home,
840
00:51:51,804 --> 00:51:53,719
then I like
to know I have it.
841
00:51:53,762 --> 00:51:56,591
Not to kill.
[CHUCKLES]
Just to maim.
842
00:51:57,810 --> 00:52:00,073
Take a little
off the shoulder. Woosh!
843
00:52:01,074 --> 00:52:02,684
The elbow.
844
00:52:02,728 --> 00:52:05,470
Shave a little meat
off the old kneecap.
845
00:52:05,513 --> 00:52:07,036
Whoo.
846
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:09,343
You got both kneecaps?
847
00:52:09,387 --> 00:52:11,998
I like to keep mine
razor-sharp, too.
848
00:52:12,041 --> 00:52:14,174
Sharp enough
you can shave with them.
849
00:52:14,218 --> 00:52:16,698
Why, I've been known
to circumcise a gnat.
850
00:52:18,309 --> 00:52:20,528
You're not a gnat,
are you, Bug?
851
00:52:20,572 --> 00:52:23,749
Wait a minute.
Bug, gnat.
852
00:52:25,881 --> 00:52:27,883
Is there a little
similarity there?
853
00:52:30,059 --> 00:52:32,758
Whoa! I think there is.
854
00:52:35,108 --> 00:52:37,589
You understand
what I'm talking about?
855
00:52:38,677 --> 00:52:40,505
I don't think you do.
856
00:52:40,548 --> 00:52:42,202
I'll be right back.
857
00:52:50,602 --> 00:52:52,081
I'm sorry.
858
00:52:52,125 --> 00:52:54,388
Look, um, I think
you'd better split.
859
00:52:54,432 --> 00:52:56,782
You know, I don't
exactly want him going
berserk with an ax on me.
860
00:52:57,696 --> 00:52:59,176
He's all talk.
861
00:52:59,219 --> 00:53:00,394
Here it is.
862
00:53:01,787 --> 00:53:04,659
Come on over. Come on,
I wanna show it to you.
863
00:53:06,748 --> 00:53:08,010
Maybe later.
864
00:53:08,924 --> 00:53:09,795
Okay.
865
00:53:16,584 --> 00:53:18,891
He's gone in a few days.
866
00:53:19,544 --> 00:53:20,545
Just relax.
867
00:53:22,286 --> 00:53:23,983
I'll get him back.
868
00:53:39,433 --> 00:53:42,131
That's a pretty stupid thing
to do during flu season.
869
00:53:42,175 --> 00:53:44,003
I bet she's getting
the tongue.
870
00:54:47,588 --> 00:54:48,372
BUCK: Just looking.
871
00:56:08,408 --> 00:56:09,583
Next.
872
00:56:11,585 --> 00:56:13,500
Tell you what.
Let me go in
there first, okay?
873
00:56:13,544 --> 00:56:16,155
I'll cover for you,
give you a little more
time out here to relax.
874
00:56:16,764 --> 00:56:17,896
Okay. Mmm. All right?
875
00:56:26,339 --> 00:56:27,558
Good morning.
876
00:56:35,348 --> 00:56:37,872
I'm Anita Hoargarth.
877
00:56:37,916 --> 00:56:40,788
Buck Melanoma,
Moley Russell's wart.
878
00:56:44,401 --> 00:56:48,622
Not her wart,
not her wart.
I'm the wart.
879
00:56:48,666 --> 00:56:52,583
She's my tumor,
my growth, my...my pimple.
880
00:56:52,626 --> 00:56:54,411
I'm "Uncle Wart."
881
00:56:54,454 --> 00:56:57,239
Buck "Wart" Russell,
that's what they call me.
882
00:56:57,283 --> 00:56:59,633
Or melanoma head.
They'll call me that.
883
00:57:00,765 --> 00:57:03,463
"Melanoma head's" coming.
884
00:57:03,507 --> 00:57:06,118
I'm... Uncle,
Maizy Russell's uncle.
885
00:57:06,161 --> 00:57:08,555
Her uncle.
886
00:57:08,599 --> 00:57:11,210
Her mother set up
this conference with you.
887
00:57:12,211 --> 00:57:14,605
I'm assistant
principal here,
888
00:57:14,648 --> 00:57:17,608
as you've probably noticed
from the indications
on the door.
889
00:57:21,568 --> 00:57:23,135
This door?
890
00:57:23,178 --> 00:57:25,267
The outer door. Yes. The outer door.
891
00:57:25,311 --> 00:57:27,182
There's nothing on this one.
892
00:57:27,226 --> 00:57:29,097
That's just about
enough of that.
893
00:57:31,186 --> 00:57:32,187
Sorry.
894
00:57:33,580 --> 00:57:38,759
I've been an educator
for 31.3 years,
895
00:57:38,803 --> 00:57:42,676
and in that time,
I've seen a lot
of bad eggs.
896
00:57:42,720 --> 00:57:46,332
I say "eggs" because
at the elementary level,
897
00:57:46,375 --> 00:57:49,248
we are not dealing with
fully developed individuals.
898
00:57:53,034 --> 00:57:56,951
I see a bad egg
when I look
at your niece.
899
00:57:58,562 --> 00:58:03,349
She is a twiddler,
a dreamer, a silly heart.
900
00:58:03,392 --> 00:58:05,569
She is a jabberbox.
901
00:58:05,612 --> 00:58:07,701
And frankly...
902
00:58:07,745 --> 00:58:14,055
I don't think she takes
a thing in her life or her
career as a student seriously.
903
00:58:17,363 --> 00:58:18,756
She's only six.
904
00:58:18,799 --> 00:58:20,671
That is not
a valid excuse!
905
00:58:20,714 --> 00:58:24,196
I hear that every day
and I dismiss it.
906
00:58:24,239 --> 00:58:25,763
I don't think
I want to know
a six-year-old
907
00:58:25,806 --> 00:58:27,939
who isn't a dreamer,
or a silly heart.
908
00:58:27,982 --> 00:58:30,942
And I sure don't want to
know one who takes their
student career seriously.
909
00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:34,815
I don't have a college degree
910
00:58:34,859 --> 00:58:37,818
I don't even have a job.
911
00:58:37,862 --> 00:58:41,387
Does anyone have a special
story about something
that happened this week?
912
00:58:42,606 --> 00:58:44,172
Maizy.
913
00:58:44,216 --> 00:58:46,218
My uncle was
microwaving my socks,
914
00:58:46,261 --> 00:58:49,177
and the dog
threw up on the couch
for about an hour.
915
00:58:49,221 --> 00:58:51,310
Honest? Yes.
916
00:58:51,353 --> 00:58:53,486
Why was your uncle
microwaving your socks?
917
00:58:53,530 --> 00:58:55,880
He can't get the goddamn
washing machine to work.
918
00:58:55,923 --> 00:58:57,142
Blasphemer!
919
00:58:58,273 --> 00:59:00,537
BUCK: I know a good kid
when I see one.
920
00:59:00,580 --> 00:59:02,582
Because they're
all good kids
921
00:59:02,626 --> 00:59:05,803
until dried-out,
brain-dead skags
like you
922
00:59:05,846 --> 00:59:08,936
drag them down
and convince them
they're no good.
923
00:59:08,980 --> 00:59:11,765
You so much as scowl
at my niece or any other
kid in this school
924
00:59:11,809 --> 00:59:13,114
and I hear about it,
925
00:59:13,158 --> 00:59:14,551
I'm coming looking for you.
926
00:59:17,945 --> 00:59:20,426
Take this quarter.
927
00:59:20,469 --> 00:59:23,821
Go downtown, and have a rat
gnaw that thing off your face.
928
00:59:23,864 --> 00:59:24,865
[GASPS]
929
00:59:25,823 --> 00:59:27,041
Good day to you, madam.
930
00:59:34,832 --> 00:59:35,876
Next.
931
00:59:36,616 --> 00:59:38,052
Ah, yeah!
932
00:59:58,769 --> 01:00:01,380
TERRY:
Hi, Chanice.
This is Terry.
933
01:00:02,076 --> 01:00:04,470
Walt Bern...
934
01:00:04,513 --> 01:00:08,256
Jesus, would you
get with the program.
Bernstein is his name.
935
01:00:08,300 --> 01:00:10,432
I forgot to give you
the message.
936
01:00:10,476 --> 01:00:13,740
At least somebody knows
what they're doing down there.
937
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:15,829
BUCK:
Chanice? Buck.
938
01:00:17,918 --> 01:00:20,486
I hate these machines.
939
01:00:20,529 --> 01:00:23,532
Look, I'm just calling
to say I miss you.
940
01:00:25,404 --> 01:00:28,059
I know you probably
don't believe it,
but it's true.
941
01:00:28,102 --> 01:00:30,365
No, I haven't been drinking.
942
01:00:30,409 --> 01:00:32,019
I've been thinking
a lot about you
943
01:00:32,063 --> 01:00:34,239
and what we've talked about
the past few weeks.
944
01:00:34,282 --> 01:00:36,633
I think about you
all the time.
945
01:00:36,676 --> 01:00:39,810
I think about those
two dimples on your buns.
946
01:00:39,853 --> 01:00:41,768
Dimples.
947
01:00:41,812 --> 01:00:43,814
What did we call them?
948
01:00:43,857 --> 01:00:47,861
The one
on the right was Lyndon,
and the left was Johnson.
949
01:00:47,905 --> 01:00:49,733
No, that was
your boobs we did.
950
01:00:49,776 --> 01:00:51,473
No, your boobs
were Minnie and Mickey.
951
01:00:51,517 --> 01:00:53,867
I remember that
because of Disney World.
952
01:00:53,911 --> 01:00:55,129
And Felix.
Felix is what
we called your...
953
01:00:55,173 --> 01:00:56,174
[CAT SCREECHES]
954
01:00:57,392 --> 01:00:59,960
BUCK: God damn kids.
955
01:01:00,004 --> 01:01:01,396
Okay. Come on, you.
956
01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:02,833
Come on,
get in the house.
957
01:01:02,876 --> 01:01:05,487
What are you doing out here,
making all this noise?
958
01:01:05,531 --> 01:01:06,837
Get in the house
where you belong.
959
01:01:06,880 --> 01:01:08,447
Come on! Come on!
960
01:01:09,100 --> 01:01:10,188
Hey!
961
01:01:10,971 --> 01:01:12,669
Who let the cat out?
962
01:01:12,712 --> 01:01:14,409
MILES: We don't have a cat.
963
01:01:14,932 --> 01:01:16,803
Come on! Get out!
964
01:01:16,847 --> 01:01:18,022
Go on! Shoo!
965
01:01:25,159 --> 01:01:26,378
Hey!
966
01:01:26,421 --> 01:01:28,728
[MAIZY LAUGHING]
967
01:01:28,772 --> 01:01:29,816
Open up!
968
01:01:30,599 --> 01:01:32,210
Miles?
969
01:01:32,253 --> 01:01:34,386
[PHONE RINGING]
970
01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:39,652
Hello.
971
01:01:39,696 --> 01:01:41,654
Hi. May I please speak
to Buck Russell?
972
01:01:41,698 --> 01:01:43,743
This is a friend of his
Chanice Kobolowski.
973
01:01:46,615 --> 01:01:50,097
I'm sorry, Chanice.
He's not here right now.
974
01:01:52,317 --> 01:01:54,058
Well, can you tell me
when he's gonna be back?
975
01:01:54,101 --> 01:01:55,755
He went out with Marcie,
976
01:01:55,799 --> 01:01:58,497
the lady who lives
across the street.
977
01:01:58,540 --> 01:02:00,368
They usually
stay out pretty late.
978
01:02:05,417 --> 01:02:06,548
Do you want to
leave a message?
979
01:02:13,817 --> 01:02:15,122
No. There's no message.
980
01:02:34,794 --> 01:02:36,448
There's no message.
981
01:03:02,039 --> 01:03:03,170
Hot!
982
01:03:17,315 --> 01:03:20,797
MARCIE: Is there a big,
sexy guy in here?
983
01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:22,233
Oh, please
don't let it be true.
984
01:03:23,887 --> 01:03:25,236
Hi.
985
01:03:25,279 --> 01:03:28,500
Oh, my God!
What are you doing?
986
01:03:28,543 --> 01:03:31,024
The laundry.
What's it look like?
987
01:03:31,068 --> 01:03:32,591
The washing machine's
still broken,
988
01:03:32,634 --> 01:03:34,898
so I thought
I'd use the microwave.
989
01:03:34,941 --> 01:03:37,726
Nuke them up, you know.
Heats them up pretty good,
too.
990
01:03:37,770 --> 01:03:40,251
It kills the germs
and odors that they cause.
991
01:03:40,294 --> 01:03:41,992
You don't know
what you're doing.
992
01:03:42,035 --> 01:03:43,428
You're bored
out of your mind.
993
01:03:43,471 --> 01:03:45,212
You need a little
adult supervision.
994
01:03:46,910 --> 01:03:47,736
Excuse me?
995
01:04:02,186 --> 01:04:02,969
[SOOTHING MUSIC PLAYING]
996
01:04:03,013 --> 01:04:04,362
Come on.
997
01:04:04,405 --> 01:04:06,886
Come on.
I don't want to dance. Come on.
998
01:04:06,930 --> 01:04:10,020
I don't feel like...
I'm not a dancer.
This is ridiculous.
999
01:04:10,063 --> 01:04:12,718
I'm not gonna leave
unless you do.
1000
01:04:12,761 --> 01:04:14,720
Okay, I'll dance.
One dance, though.
That's it.
1001
01:04:14,763 --> 01:04:17,549
'Cause I really have to
take a nap and...
1002
01:04:17,592 --> 01:04:20,030
All right. One dance.
That's it.
1003
01:04:21,248 --> 01:04:22,859
[DOORBELL RINGING]
1004
01:04:25,862 --> 01:04:26,950
Whoa!
1005
01:04:30,127 --> 01:04:31,563
What's this?
1006
01:04:33,521 --> 01:04:35,262
Oh! Come on!
The dog is watching.
1007
01:04:35,741 --> 01:04:37,482
Come on.
1008
01:04:37,525 --> 01:04:39,527
What's that?
Dirty Dancing?
Uh-huh.
1009
01:04:41,442 --> 01:04:42,922
You got the girl
by the neck.
1010
01:04:42,966 --> 01:04:44,184
Whoa. Dipped her.
1011
01:04:44,968 --> 01:04:45,969
Remember that?
1012
01:04:46,012 --> 01:04:47,535
Dips. Dips.
1013
01:04:57,589 --> 01:04:58,938
Am I bleeding?
1014
01:04:58,982 --> 01:05:00,200
No.
1015
01:05:01,375 --> 01:05:03,290
Will you get off?
My back!
1016
01:05:09,601 --> 01:05:10,558
Hello.
1017
01:05:14,823 --> 01:05:15,955
Stop it.
1018
01:05:15,999 --> 01:05:17,130
I mean it.
1019
01:05:20,481 --> 01:05:22,135
This is fun though,
isn't it?
1020
01:05:22,179 --> 01:05:23,615
I guess.
1021
01:05:24,529 --> 01:05:26,923
My aerobic
workout today.
1022
01:05:26,966 --> 01:05:29,012
Heart's beating
like a rabbit here.
1023
01:05:31,449 --> 01:05:32,450
Oh.
1024
01:05:39,109 --> 01:05:39,979
Yeah.
1025
01:05:51,556 --> 01:05:52,818
Hi, Chanice.
1026
01:05:53,819 --> 01:05:54,907
Surprise!
1027
01:05:57,344 --> 01:05:58,606
This is, um...
1028
01:05:58,650 --> 01:05:59,651
Marcie.
1029
01:06:03,220 --> 01:06:06,266
Yeah. Marcie,
and she lives
across the road.
1030
01:06:06,963 --> 01:06:08,051
She came over to...
1031
01:06:08,094 --> 01:06:10,009
Shut up, Buck.
1032
01:06:10,053 --> 01:06:11,576
That's a good idea.
1033
01:06:13,795 --> 01:06:15,797
Is this who you were
out with last night?
1034
01:06:19,192 --> 01:06:21,020
What?
1035
01:06:21,064 --> 01:06:22,674
I didn't go out last night.
1036
01:06:24,328 --> 01:06:27,287
Hey, look. Honest.
Honest. Honest.
I'm telling the truth.
1037
01:06:27,331 --> 01:06:29,159
You son of a bitch!
1038
01:06:29,202 --> 01:06:32,901
Don't say that, okay. Chanice.
Don't walk away. Chanice!
1039
01:06:33,685 --> 01:06:34,816
Chanice!
1040
01:06:34,860 --> 01:06:36,122
Hey, come here!
1041
01:06:36,166 --> 01:06:37,776
Chanice!
Come here, hon.
1042
01:06:41,345 --> 01:06:43,173
Chanice, wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
Let me explain!
1043
01:06:43,216 --> 01:06:44,000
Will you let me explain?
1044
01:06:46,611 --> 01:06:47,916
You're wrecking the driveway!
1045
01:06:48,526 --> 01:06:49,788
Chanice!
1046
01:06:51,094 --> 01:06:52,095
Come on!
1047
01:06:54,010 --> 01:06:55,185
I love you.
1048
01:07:12,550 --> 01:07:14,378
What flew up her nose?
1049
01:07:21,428 --> 01:07:25,302
You better go home,
okay, Marcie?
1050
01:07:25,345 --> 01:07:27,391
Pick up your records.
The party's over.
1051
01:07:28,348 --> 01:07:29,480
Okay?
1052
01:07:38,010 --> 01:07:41,361
So, I'll just go home
and wait for
the Federal Express man.
1053
01:07:50,936 --> 01:07:52,807
Good night, Uncle Buck.
1054
01:07:53,852 --> 01:07:55,114
Good night, sweetheart.
1055
01:07:56,681 --> 01:07:57,899
Good night.
1056
01:08:05,603 --> 01:08:06,821
Uncle Buck? Yeah?
1057
01:08:08,258 --> 01:08:09,563
Got a minute?
1058
01:08:09,607 --> 01:08:10,695
I got lots of minutes.
1059
01:08:12,175 --> 01:08:14,525
Now that everything's
okay with my grandfather,
1060
01:08:14,568 --> 01:08:16,570
I want to go out
tomorrow night.
1061
01:08:16,614 --> 01:08:19,182
You can go crazy after
I leave. Until then,
I'm not letting you out.
1062
01:08:26,189 --> 01:08:29,366
You just can't find
any way to be cool,
can you?
1063
01:08:29,409 --> 01:08:30,584
You mean easy? No.
1064
01:08:30,628 --> 01:08:31,846
I mean decent.
1065
01:08:31,890 --> 01:08:33,631
You mean blind.
1066
01:08:33,674 --> 01:08:37,591
Who are you trying to
score points with,
my parents?
1067
01:08:37,635 --> 01:08:40,420
How many times
have they had you here
since we moved?
1068
01:08:40,464 --> 01:08:43,380
Try none until they
went up shit creek
and got stuck.
1069
01:08:43,423 --> 01:08:45,556
Get used on
your parents' time.
1070
01:08:46,687 --> 01:08:47,993
Hey, Buck!
1071
01:08:48,036 --> 01:08:48,907
Yeah.
1072
01:08:50,604 --> 01:08:51,997
Have a bad day today?
1073
01:08:55,392 --> 01:08:57,829
It hurts when someone
screws with your life,
doesn't it?
1074
01:09:16,282 --> 01:09:17,718
Last call.
1075
01:09:22,810 --> 01:09:24,595
There you go.
There you go.
1076
01:09:27,902 --> 01:09:29,687
A little for you,
a little for me.
1077
01:09:35,780 --> 01:09:41,220
Boy, people used to
say to me,
1078
01:09:41,264 --> 01:09:44,397
"Boy, Buck,
you are one lucky
son of a bitch.
1079
01:09:46,921 --> 01:09:49,315
"You got it made, Buck.
You got it made."
1080
01:09:49,359 --> 01:09:51,361
And I did.
1081
01:09:51,404 --> 01:09:53,885
They'd say,
"Oh, man, Buck,
look at you.
1082
01:09:53,928 --> 01:09:56,322
"You don't have any kids,
you don't have any wife.
1083
01:09:56,366 --> 01:09:59,717
"You don't have a desk,
you don't have an office.
1084
01:09:59,760 --> 01:10:02,763
"You don't have a boss
to worry about."
1085
01:10:06,245 --> 01:10:08,160
They were right.
1086
01:10:08,204 --> 01:10:09,553
I had it made.
1087
01:10:15,385 --> 01:10:20,912
Only thing now is, Perce,
nobody says that anymore.
1088
01:10:26,439 --> 01:10:27,919
Oh, boy.
1089
01:10:28,963 --> 01:10:29,921
But
1090
01:10:31,227 --> 01:10:33,011
it'll all be
better tomorrow.
1091
01:10:35,666 --> 01:10:36,841
Always is.
1092
01:10:40,018 --> 01:10:41,976
Because tomorrow,
1093
01:10:42,020 --> 01:10:43,978
we go to the track,
1094
01:10:44,022 --> 01:10:47,808
win some dough,
some serious dough.
1095
01:10:49,288 --> 01:10:50,158
Yeah.
1096
01:10:51,812 --> 01:10:53,814
Make a lot of money
tomorrow, kiddo.
1097
01:10:55,207 --> 01:10:56,861
You want a little pretzel
with your beer?
1098
01:11:03,346 --> 01:11:05,652
U.B. went to school
to pick you up, you know.
1099
01:11:05,696 --> 01:11:08,438
Tell U.B. when he gets home
that he lost, okay?
1100
01:11:08,481 --> 01:11:10,396
Lost what?
1101
01:11:10,440 --> 01:11:12,703
Just tell him.
He'll know what it means.
1102
01:11:12,746 --> 01:11:14,400
I'll see you guys Sunday.
1103
01:11:14,444 --> 01:11:15,662
What day is today?
1104
01:11:15,706 --> 01:11:17,185
Friday.
1105
01:11:17,229 --> 01:11:18,317
You know what that means.
1106
01:11:18,361 --> 01:11:20,101
Jumbo party.
1107
01:11:20,145 --> 01:11:22,539
You can put that
on a platter.
1108
01:12:20,292 --> 01:12:21,206
[CAR BACKFIRES]
1109
01:12:23,513 --> 01:12:25,036
U.B. is home.
1110
01:12:25,079 --> 01:12:26,994
BUCK: Tia! Tia!
1111
01:12:28,126 --> 01:12:29,432
You guys seen Tia?
1112
01:12:29,475 --> 01:12:30,607
She took a breeze, U.B.
1113
01:12:34,828 --> 01:12:38,092
And she promised me
she was going to look after
you guys this evening.
1114
01:12:38,136 --> 01:12:39,137
She promised me.
1115
01:12:40,007 --> 01:12:41,792
So much for promises.
1116
01:12:41,835 --> 01:12:44,490
Does anyone in this house
know how to keep a promise?
1117
01:12:44,534 --> 01:12:47,275
I know you two guys do.
I know.
1118
01:12:47,319 --> 01:12:50,496
I had somewhere important
to go to tonight.
1119
01:12:50,540 --> 01:12:52,324
This is how
I make my living.
1120
01:12:52,368 --> 01:12:54,457
This was very
important to me.
1121
01:12:54,500 --> 01:12:57,242
This was... My whole year
was based on tonight.
1122
01:12:57,285 --> 01:13:00,898
It may be peanuts
to your dad
but it's my living.
1123
01:13:00,941 --> 01:13:03,814
I have no choice,
I don't care what your
parents are going to say.
1124
01:13:03,857 --> 01:13:05,468
I have to take you
with me tonight.
1125
01:13:05,990 --> 01:13:07,470
Where?
1126
01:13:07,513 --> 01:13:08,949
To a racetrack.
1127
01:13:12,083 --> 01:13:13,432
BUCK: Here we go.
1128
01:13:13,476 --> 01:13:14,912
You have to go
to the bathroom?
1129
01:13:14,955 --> 01:13:16,174
BOTH: Nope. You sure?
1130
01:13:16,217 --> 01:13:17,262
BOTH: Yep.
1131
01:13:17,305 --> 01:13:19,220
This is going to
be fun, you know.
1132
01:13:19,264 --> 01:13:22,136
Beautiful horses,
interesting people.
1133
01:13:22,180 --> 01:13:24,225
And win some
serious coin, right?
1134
01:13:24,269 --> 01:13:27,664
Well, sometimes, yeah,
but that's not the real
reason people go there.
1135
01:13:27,707 --> 01:13:32,973
People go because of
the beautiful horses
and the colorful jockeys.
1136
01:13:34,975 --> 01:13:36,237
Bug picked up Tia?
1137
01:13:36,281 --> 01:13:37,761
Mmm-hmm.
1138
01:13:37,804 --> 01:13:40,416
And she said
she was going
to a party.
1139
01:13:40,459 --> 01:13:43,201
She said
she'd be back Sunday.
Must be a slumber party.
1140
01:13:46,204 --> 01:13:48,249
Hop in the back.
Get your belts on.
1141
01:13:49,686 --> 01:13:52,776
Let her go to
a party all weekend!
1142
01:13:52,819 --> 01:13:54,647
She's old enough
to know better.
1143
01:13:54,691 --> 01:13:56,649
Hell, she doesn't listen
to anybody anyway.
1144
01:13:57,737 --> 01:13:59,173
Damn kids.
1145
01:14:40,867 --> 01:14:43,043
[PHONE RINGING]
1146
01:14:43,087 --> 01:14:44,175
Yeah.
Kobolowski Tires.
1147
01:14:45,393 --> 01:14:46,612
Hi. It's me.
1148
01:14:47,918 --> 01:14:49,920
Buck, can't you ever
take a hint?
1149
01:14:49,963 --> 01:14:53,663
Chanice, it's not about me.
I got a problem at the house.
1150
01:14:53,706 --> 01:14:55,752
I need somebody
to watch the kids.
1151
01:14:55,795 --> 01:14:57,536
No. I'll tell you
what you need.
1152
01:14:57,580 --> 01:14:58,929
Your horse fixer's
in town
1153
01:14:58,972 --> 01:15:00,539
and you need to
get to the track.
1154
01:15:00,583 --> 01:15:03,237
I ran into Rog.
See, he told me
all about it.
1155
01:15:03,281 --> 01:15:05,849
The idiot had the nerve
to ask me for a loan.
1156
01:15:05,892 --> 01:15:07,764
What's the matter?
1157
01:15:07,807 --> 01:15:10,331
You can't take children
with you when you're gonna
cheat on a horserace?
1158
01:15:10,375 --> 01:15:11,985
You got some religion
out there in the 'burbs?
1159
01:15:12,029 --> 01:15:15,467
I came close.
I had them in the car.
1160
01:15:15,511 --> 01:15:17,687
Can we put
personal problems
aside for a second?
1161
01:15:18,601 --> 01:15:20,516
Tia took off on me.
1162
01:15:20,559 --> 01:15:22,648
I was supposed to
pick her up after school.
She wasn't there.
1163
01:15:22,692 --> 01:15:23,606
What do you mean,
she ran away?
1164
01:15:24,955 --> 01:15:27,392
I guess. I don't know.
1165
01:15:27,435 --> 01:15:30,961
She's 15, she's angry,
she's confused,
1166
01:15:32,005 --> 01:15:33,877
and I need to find her.
1167
01:15:35,182 --> 01:15:36,662
Can you help me?
1168
01:15:38,011 --> 01:15:39,796
I'm really stuck, Chanice.
1169
01:15:44,017 --> 01:15:45,976
All right. All right.
1170
01:15:46,019 --> 01:15:48,674
I will help you because
there's kids involved
in this.
1171
01:15:48,718 --> 01:15:51,851
But as far as you
and I are concerned,
it is over.
1172
01:15:53,679 --> 01:15:54,767
However it has to be.
1173
01:15:57,117 --> 01:15:59,816
I'll be there.
Thank you.
1174
01:15:59,859 --> 01:16:01,339
For what it's worth,
I'm sorry.
1175
01:16:23,622 --> 01:16:25,450
Your car's on fire. Car's on fire.
1176
01:16:25,493 --> 01:16:27,713
No, no, no.
It's just a little oil.
1177
01:16:27,757 --> 01:16:30,629
I'm looking for a party
somewhere around here.
1178
01:16:30,673 --> 01:16:32,500
Oh, that's on
Totowa Lane.
1179
01:16:32,544 --> 01:16:33,937
My niece is there.
1180
01:16:33,980 --> 01:16:35,416
Our son's there.
1181
01:16:35,460 --> 01:16:37,114
Kids.
1182
01:16:37,157 --> 01:16:38,811
I don't think
you ought to go in there
with that hat on.
1183
01:16:38,855 --> 01:16:39,943
They'll kill you.
1184
01:16:39,986 --> 01:16:41,597
Really?
Thanks for the tip. Yeah.
1185
01:17:19,330 --> 01:17:20,331
[GASPS]
1186
01:17:28,513 --> 01:17:31,864
I'm supposed to come over
and watch you.
1187
01:17:35,433 --> 01:17:37,391
Hi!
1188
01:17:37,435 --> 01:17:39,785
I'm Chanice Kobolowski.
I'm Uncle Buck's friend.
1189
01:17:39,829 --> 01:17:41,482
May I see your
driver's license,
ma'am?
1190
01:17:42,701 --> 01:17:43,833
Yeah.
1191
01:17:44,703 --> 01:17:45,704
Sure.
1192
01:17:45,748 --> 01:17:47,184
Good idea.
1193
01:17:49,752 --> 01:17:51,144
Here! I got it!
1194
01:17:51,841 --> 01:17:53,407
See? Look.
1195
01:17:54,147 --> 01:17:55,453
Look!
1196
01:17:55,496 --> 01:17:57,498
Can you please
take it out of there?
1197
01:17:57,542 --> 01:17:58,543
Take it out?
1198
01:18:21,871 --> 01:18:23,220
You okay?
1199
01:18:24,264 --> 01:18:26,049
Come on.
What's the matter?
1200
01:18:49,246 --> 01:18:50,247
[ALL SCREAM]
1201
01:18:51,552 --> 01:18:53,946
Coming through here.
How you doing?
1202
01:18:55,165 --> 01:18:56,601
Having a good time?
1203
01:18:56,644 --> 01:18:58,559
You seen a guy named
Bug around here?
1204
01:19:00,431 --> 01:19:02,172
I'm Tia Russell's uncle.
1205
01:19:02,215 --> 01:19:03,477
You girls know Tia?
1206
01:19:03,521 --> 01:19:05,392
No? She's kind of new.
1207
01:19:05,436 --> 01:19:06,742
I'm her uncle.
1208
01:19:08,352 --> 01:19:10,746
You haven't seen that Bug
around here, have you?
1209
01:19:10,789 --> 01:19:12,182
No. No.
1210
01:19:12,704 --> 01:19:14,097
Nice guy.
1211
01:19:14,140 --> 01:19:16,273
Hey! Hey!
Come back here with that!
1212
01:19:22,540 --> 01:19:24,194
How you doing?
1213
01:19:24,237 --> 01:19:25,761
Anybody seen Bug around here?
1214
01:19:27,545 --> 01:19:28,764
Hey, nice music.
1215
01:19:30,200 --> 01:19:32,071
Who's that?
The Grass Roots?
1216
01:19:32,115 --> 01:19:33,333
I'm kidding.
I know my music.
1217
01:19:39,862 --> 01:19:41,864
Stop it, please.
1218
01:19:45,084 --> 01:19:47,826
What the hell is that?
1219
01:19:47,870 --> 01:19:50,916
Hey, party time!
Let's get down here, huh?
1220
01:19:50,960 --> 01:19:53,005
You seen Bug around here?
1221
01:19:53,049 --> 01:19:54,528
You seen Bug?
1222
01:19:55,312 --> 01:19:56,792
That's good stuff.
1223
01:19:58,097 --> 01:19:59,751
Keep it up. Keep it up.
1224
01:19:59,795 --> 01:20:01,187
Nice work.
1225
01:20:01,884 --> 01:20:03,624
Hey, how you doing?
1226
01:20:03,668 --> 01:20:05,104
Excuse me.
1227
01:20:05,148 --> 01:20:06,540
Crowded, huh?
1228
01:20:07,803 --> 01:20:10,457
Get down, get down, get down.
1229
01:20:10,501 --> 01:20:11,981
I don't want to do this.
1230
01:20:12,895 --> 01:20:14,418
Just relax.
1231
01:20:17,290 --> 01:20:18,596
Hello, young fellow.
How are you?
1232
01:20:18,639 --> 01:20:20,772
I'm Tia Russell's uncle,
Buck Russell.
1233
01:20:20,816 --> 01:20:22,643
Have you seen
the bug around?
1234
01:20:22,687 --> 01:20:24,689
No? I'm looking for him.
1235
01:20:24,732 --> 01:20:26,256
You're Tia Russell's uncle?
1236
01:20:26,299 --> 01:20:27,692
Really?
1237
01:20:27,735 --> 01:20:30,129
Hey! Give me that!
1238
01:20:30,173 --> 01:20:32,262
Take my hat, you punk!
1239
01:20:33,002 --> 01:20:33,872
Don't mention it.
1240
01:20:33,916 --> 01:20:35,004
All right, pop.
1241
01:20:37,658 --> 01:20:39,225
Have you seen a guy named Bug?
1242
01:20:39,269 --> 01:20:41,140
Everybody knows Bug.
Hip, hip guy.
1243
01:20:42,315 --> 01:20:43,403
Let me through here,
will you?
1244
01:20:43,447 --> 01:20:45,188
Your mother know
you do that?
1245
01:20:46,232 --> 01:20:47,233
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
1246
01:20:49,235 --> 01:20:51,020
Hey, this room's taken.
1247
01:20:52,021 --> 01:20:53,239
I want to go.
1248
01:20:53,283 --> 01:20:54,588
No, you don't.
1249
01:20:54,632 --> 01:20:55,633
[DOOR RATTLING]
1250
01:20:57,504 --> 01:21:00,464
That door opens,
I'm going to kick
somebody's ass!
1251
01:21:01,987 --> 01:21:02,858
Do you hear me?
1252
01:22:55,361 --> 01:22:56,449
Tia.
1253
01:23:15,381 --> 01:23:16,861
You were right.
1254
01:23:19,081 --> 01:23:21,561
Everything you said
would happen happened.
1255
01:23:23,563 --> 01:23:24,651
I don't want
to talk about it.
1256
01:23:24,695 --> 01:23:26,001
I just want
to get you home.
1257
01:24:01,471 --> 01:24:02,994
Is this a trick?
1258
01:24:08,217 --> 01:24:09,261
No.
1259
01:24:13,439 --> 01:24:15,050
You know what happened?
1260
01:24:17,965 --> 01:24:18,879
Yeah.
1261
01:24:22,970 --> 01:24:25,582
Are you going to tell
my parents about everything
that's been going on?
1262
01:24:28,367 --> 01:24:29,412
No.
1263
01:24:32,110 --> 01:24:33,198
Thanks.
1264
01:24:37,985 --> 01:24:40,901
I've been riding
your butt all week about
how you live your life.
1265
01:24:44,427 --> 01:24:48,170
I realize maybe somebody
should have been riding mine.
1266
01:24:48,213 --> 01:24:51,521
I'm probably the last guy
in the world you'd want
to help,
1267
01:24:54,176 --> 01:24:58,441
but I really could use your
advice, vis-a-vis Chanice.
1268
01:24:58,484 --> 01:25:06,231
I've been
stringing her along
for about eight years now.
1269
01:25:06,275 --> 01:25:10,148
Maybe you could figure out
what the hell is wrong
with me.
1270
01:25:10,192 --> 01:25:12,585
I did such a great job
earning your trust
and admiration,
1271
01:25:12,629 --> 01:25:15,588
I'm confused why I can't
do the same with Chanice.
1272
01:25:25,207 --> 01:25:26,730
You know there's
1273
01:25:29,776 --> 01:25:35,173
one family charity case
that loves you very much.
1274
01:25:38,220 --> 01:25:39,395
I'm sorry.
1275
01:25:40,309 --> 01:25:41,658
Hey, come on.
1276
01:25:42,963 --> 01:25:46,053
Nothing to be sorry about.
1277
01:25:46,097 --> 01:25:49,318
I'm just kind of glad
I got a chance to know
you again.
1278
01:25:54,714 --> 01:25:56,281
Did you do anything to Bug?
1279
01:26:03,462 --> 01:26:07,858
Oh, my God!
What did you do?
1280
01:26:19,261 --> 01:26:20,653
You shithead!
1281
01:26:20,697 --> 01:26:22,525
I could have suffocated here!
1282
01:26:22,568 --> 01:26:25,223
Um, do you know what
I'd like you to do?
1283
01:26:25,267 --> 01:26:27,007
Actually, you could be
doing both of us a favor.
1284
01:26:27,051 --> 01:26:28,835
I'd like you to apologize
to the lady, please.
1285
01:26:29,662 --> 01:26:31,969
I'm sorry!
1286
01:26:32,012 --> 01:26:33,449
I'm sorry!
1287
01:26:33,492 --> 01:26:35,190
Okay, asshole?
1288
01:26:35,233 --> 01:26:37,192
I'm sorry!
1289
01:26:37,235 --> 01:26:40,195
I don't know if
I told you this or not,
but I'm an amateur dentist?
1290
01:26:41,761 --> 01:26:42,849
Oh, yes. He is.
1291
01:26:45,939 --> 01:26:47,506
[LAUGHING EVILLY]
1292
01:26:52,119 --> 01:26:53,251
I'm sorry.
1293
01:26:54,339 --> 01:26:55,471
Get him out of there.
1294
01:26:55,514 --> 01:26:57,299
Yeah?
1295
01:26:57,342 --> 01:26:58,735
It was halfhearted.
We'll let him.
Come on, here we go.
1296
01:26:58,778 --> 01:27:00,084
I'm really sorry.
1297
01:27:00,127 --> 01:27:02,086
I'm sure you are.
I'm sure you are.
1298
01:27:02,129 --> 01:27:04,828
Let me just get you...
1299
01:27:04,871 --> 01:27:07,874
I didn't mean
to hurt anybody.
1300
01:27:07,918 --> 01:27:08,832
There you go.
There you go.
1301
01:27:10,486 --> 01:27:11,878
Oh, I'm sorry.
1302
01:27:19,103 --> 01:27:20,191
Shall we?
1303
01:27:20,235 --> 01:27:21,105
Yeah.
1304
01:27:28,068 --> 01:27:31,028
Yeah?
Well, come on back,
and I'll kick your ass, man!
1305
01:27:31,071 --> 01:27:33,030
Chicken shit! You're dead!
1306
01:27:34,466 --> 01:27:35,641
Shit.
1307
01:27:41,995 --> 01:27:44,215
I'm gonna sue
your balls off, man!
1308
01:27:45,347 --> 01:27:47,349
Why don't you come again?
1309
01:27:47,392 --> 01:27:48,872
Come on!
1310
01:27:49,525 --> 01:27:51,178
Come on, man!
1311
01:27:51,222 --> 01:27:54,573
I'm going to sue you
and I'm going to sue
your whole family!
1312
01:27:54,617 --> 01:27:58,011
Okay, pal.
Time for a golf lesson.
1313
01:27:58,055 --> 01:28:00,536
My dad's a lawyer, man!
You're history!
1314
01:28:00,579 --> 01:28:02,233
A little fine wood.
1315
01:28:03,626 --> 01:28:05,889
Hey. What?
1316
01:28:06,759 --> 01:28:08,108
What? What are you doing, man?
1317
01:28:09,458 --> 01:28:11,764
Shit.
1318
01:28:11,808 --> 01:28:13,288
You're history, man!
You're wasted!
1319
01:28:13,331 --> 01:28:15,551
I'm gonna sue you
for everything
you've got, man!
1320
01:28:15,594 --> 01:28:17,683
You're gonna be broke!
So come on, come and get me!
1321
01:28:19,555 --> 01:28:21,687
You bastard! Aah!
1322
01:28:22,384 --> 01:28:24,124
Yes, sir!
1323
01:28:24,168 --> 01:28:25,822
You son of a bitch!
1324
01:28:25,865 --> 01:28:27,171
That hurt!
1325
01:28:27,214 --> 01:28:29,826
Hey, hey, hey.
I'm not sorry,
all right?
1326
01:28:31,218 --> 01:28:33,351
I ain't sorry for shit!
1327
01:28:36,746 --> 01:28:39,923
What do you see
in that guy anyway?
1328
01:28:39,966 --> 01:28:43,100
I can't for the life of me
figure that one out.
1329
01:28:43,143 --> 01:28:45,972
Don't answer.
Don't answer.
You don't have to.
1330
01:28:49,324 --> 01:28:52,196
I appreciate
the confession, Tia.
Thank you. Thanks a lot.
1331
01:28:52,239 --> 01:28:53,937
But my problems
with Buck
1332
01:28:53,980 --> 01:28:57,593
go a whole lot deeper
than a misunderstanding
with a neighborlady.
1333
01:28:57,636 --> 01:28:59,551
Don't you think
he loves you?
1334
01:29:01,074 --> 01:29:02,989
If he does,
he'd never say it.
1335
01:29:03,816 --> 01:29:05,252
What if he did?
1336
01:29:05,296 --> 01:29:07,080
Then I would suspect
he needed a new set of tires.
1337
01:29:08,517 --> 01:29:10,040
Seriously.
1338
01:29:10,083 --> 01:29:11,998
Seriously.
1339
01:29:12,042 --> 01:29:15,001
You're very sweet
to talk about this
1340
01:29:15,045 --> 01:29:17,482
but I don't think
you understand
the bigger picture.
1341
01:29:17,526 --> 01:29:20,616
See, Buck's a charming man
who wants to remain
a boy forever.
1342
01:29:21,268 --> 01:29:22,835
Boy?
1343
01:29:22,879 --> 01:29:25,447
And at my age,
that doesn't make for
a lasting relationship.
1344
01:29:28,754 --> 01:29:31,627
I think he'd make
a wonderful husband
and father.
1345
01:29:31,670 --> 01:29:33,890
You do?Oh, yeah.
1346
01:29:33,933 --> 01:29:35,848
My sister and brother
adore him.
1347
01:29:37,459 --> 01:29:41,201
He really
has changed since
he's been here this week.
1348
01:29:42,115 --> 01:29:44,379
He really has changed.
1349
01:29:44,422 --> 01:29:45,902
He's responsible
1350
01:29:46,642 --> 01:29:48,426
and caring and loving
1351
01:29:49,819 --> 01:29:52,343
and enthusiastic...
1352
01:29:53,605 --> 01:29:54,998
Energetic.
1353
01:29:55,041 --> 01:29:56,782
And energetic and
1354
01:29:57,957 --> 01:29:59,437
decent
1355
01:29:59,481 --> 01:30:00,699
[MUFFLED COUGH]
1356
01:30:00,743 --> 01:30:02,266
and kind
1357
01:30:02,309 --> 01:30:03,441
[COUGHING CONTINUES]
1358
01:30:05,269 --> 01:30:06,705
and humble
1359
01:30:06,749 --> 01:30:08,533
and honest and forthright.
1360
01:30:09,491 --> 01:30:10,666
Sense of humor.
1361
01:30:10,709 --> 01:30:13,320
And he's really got
a great sense of humor.
1362
01:30:13,364 --> 01:30:15,148
Did he by any chance
put you up to this?
1363
01:30:15,627 --> 01:30:19,414
No! Oh, no.
Mmm-mmm.
1364
01:30:19,457 --> 01:30:21,590
No, I've just gathered this
from my own observations.
1365
01:30:22,242 --> 01:30:23,679
No?
1366
01:30:23,722 --> 01:30:25,289
It's just the way he is.
1367
01:30:25,332 --> 01:30:26,333
Really?
1368
01:30:27,726 --> 01:30:28,727
Um!
1369
01:30:30,599 --> 01:30:31,991
[CLEARING THROAT]
1370
01:30:33,428 --> 01:30:34,167
Really?
1371
01:30:35,734 --> 01:30:36,909
Oh, yeah!
1372
01:30:36,953 --> 01:30:38,128
So unlike him.
1373
01:30:46,876 --> 01:30:47,877
Ow!
1374
01:30:54,492 --> 01:30:55,885
Check this out.
1375
01:31:01,934 --> 01:31:03,153
Hi, honey!
1376
01:31:04,067 --> 01:31:05,808
Is the coffee ready?
1377
01:31:06,722 --> 01:31:09,246
A little thirsty.
1378
01:31:09,289 --> 01:31:12,162
By the way, I have
told you I loved you,
1379
01:31:13,206 --> 01:31:15,774
and it wasn't for tires,
sweetheart.
1380
01:31:15,818 --> 01:31:17,080
It was for shocks, remember?
1381
01:31:23,173 --> 01:31:25,218
Oh, are they sweethearts,
or what?
1382
01:31:25,262 --> 01:31:27,438
This one's
smart as a whip.
1383
01:31:27,482 --> 01:31:29,396
I'm going to miss
them like crazy.
1384
01:31:29,440 --> 01:31:32,312
They're beautiful children.
What happened to you?
1385
01:31:32,356 --> 01:31:34,750
Recessive gene,
skips every
nine generations.
1386
01:31:34,793 --> 01:31:35,751
I got it this time.
1387
01:31:35,794 --> 01:31:37,317
Mmm-hmm. Tragic.
1388
01:31:37,361 --> 01:31:39,189
It isn't so bad, is it?
1389
01:31:39,885 --> 01:31:41,060
What?
1390
01:31:41,104 --> 01:31:42,627
The house, the family,
the kids.
1391
01:31:42,671 --> 01:31:44,673
Oh, yeah.
No, it's great.
1392
01:31:44,716 --> 01:31:46,544
This is great.
1393
01:31:46,588 --> 01:31:48,851
We should have done this
a long time ago,
1394
01:31:48,894 --> 01:31:50,548
something like this,
you know, you and I.
1395
01:31:54,596 --> 01:31:56,815
[BOTH SCREAMING]
1396
01:32:05,520 --> 01:32:07,173
They're here!
1397
01:32:12,570 --> 01:32:14,137
What are we doing?
1398
01:32:15,573 --> 01:32:19,142
Well, your mother,
you see, and your sister
1399
01:32:19,185 --> 01:32:22,014
have to
sort some things out.
1400
01:32:22,058 --> 01:32:23,450
They have to
sort some things out.
1401
01:32:23,494 --> 01:32:25,540
So we're going to be
very quiet for them.
1402
01:32:25,583 --> 01:32:27,977
So why don't we
put a button on it
like this
1403
01:32:32,242 --> 01:32:35,288
and a zipper, like that,
and a lock.
1404
01:32:37,334 --> 01:32:39,641
I can't talk at all.
I throw the key away.
1405
01:33:34,217 --> 01:33:35,610
It's going to be
real different.
1406
01:33:37,089 --> 01:33:38,395
I promise.
1407
01:33:39,352 --> 01:33:40,571
I love you.
1408
01:33:53,671 --> 01:33:54,672
Shit!
1409
01:33:54,716 --> 01:33:56,065
MAIZY: Bye!
1410
01:33:56,108 --> 01:33:58,502
MILES: Bye, Uncle Buck!
1411
01:33:58,545 --> 01:34:01,200
Well, could I get
out the door, please?
1412
01:34:01,244 --> 01:34:02,462
I'm going!
1413
01:34:02,506 --> 01:34:03,942
Well, this is heavy.
1414
01:34:03,986 --> 01:34:05,596
Bye!
1415
01:34:05,640 --> 01:34:07,946
Thanks again, Buck.
1416
01:34:07,990 --> 01:34:10,732
Next time you're downtown,
maybe we can go out for
a coffee.
1417
01:34:13,648 --> 01:34:14,431
Okay.
1418
01:34:16,085 --> 01:34:19,001
We really had a good time.
I know it's kind of
ridiculous.
1419
01:34:19,044 --> 01:34:20,524
We did leave the house
a little messy.
1420
01:34:20,567 --> 01:34:21,873
We did try our best.
You know, we're not
so good at...
1421
01:34:21,917 --> 01:34:23,788
Chanice. What?
1422
01:34:23,832 --> 01:34:25,616
We're going home,
we're not dying.
1423
01:34:25,660 --> 01:34:27,226
I'm saying good-bye,
is that all right?
1424
01:34:27,270 --> 01:34:28,793
All right.
Nice guy, is he?
1425
01:34:28,837 --> 01:34:30,577
Tell the neighbors
we're really sorry
1426
01:34:30,621 --> 01:34:32,841
about having that thing
parked in the driveway
all week.
1427
01:34:32,884 --> 01:34:35,365
He's getting
a new company car
on Monday.
1428
01:34:35,408 --> 01:34:38,237
The hell I am!
The beast is good for
another 100,000 miles.
1429
01:34:38,281 --> 01:34:39,586
Yeah, well,
it's too bad
that you're not.
1430
01:34:39,630 --> 01:34:41,066
That's funny, Chanice.
That's good.
1431
01:34:41,110 --> 01:34:42,677
See what I put up with?
1432
01:34:42,720 --> 01:34:45,157
Don't drive fast.
I'm not fixing anymore
tickets for you.
1433
01:40:07,305 --> 01:40:09,133
BUCK:
Wake up!
1434
01:40:09,177 --> 01:40:10,656
[AIR HORN BLOWING]
1435
01:40:12,093 --> 01:40:13,572
[BUCK LAUGHING]
100078
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