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Hey, yo, ace! Wait up.

Uh-oh. You've got a determined look on your face.

No. What I've got is a proposition.

Your desk or mine, huh?

Look, it came to me in the middle of the night

like a vision.

[Brandon] "Run for office"?

- No one even knows me here. - But that's perfect.

No one knows you well enough to hate you.

Have a nice day, Andrea.

Brandon, please.

The candidate I was backing chickened out.

There is no reason we have to let the popular airheads

run the student government.

Now, are you a candidate or a coward?

At least you weren't snoring in class.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

Maybe you have mono.

Thanks, Dr. Donna, but it's only happening in school.

I don't know. Well, see you guys later, okay?

Bye.

Hey, a moment of your time?

Hmm, I'm counting.

I can't take you to the Fall Out club this weekend.

I have to fly down to Mexico City

and see the old man for a few days.

The old meeting-dad excuse.

Brenda--

Look, I understand.

Take me with you.

Yeah, right. Me, you, dad--uh-uh.

I'm just so bored here.

Poor baby... Well, look,

you can go to the club and use my name.

They'll let you in.

[David] Yo, politicos.

Last-minute dark-horse entry

into the junior class presidential elections--

Brandon Walsh, the new kid on the West Beverly block.

The sister's always the last to know.

He kind of looks like a politician.

He's got that Kennedy hair.

Yo, Prez!

It's like a magnet...

What?

Power.

[doorbell chiming]

I can't believe you guys didn't just honk.

Uh, we wanted to congratulate Brandon.

Hi.

What great news!

We've always felt bad about moving here

and screwing up your plans to run back home.

Do you think you can pull it off?

Oh, definitely. The other guy's a nobody, too.

Hey, girls.

- Hi, girls. - Hi.

Well, no offense.

I've never been friends with a candidate before.

Friends with a candidate's sister.

Right. I've never even voted.

Well, you've got to get involved, Kel.

It's important to try to change things.

I've never thought about that.

I'm going to go change my jacket.

Congratulations, Brandon.

[mom] Brenda!

Brenda, honey, do you know where the art supplies are?

- Sorry. - Hm.

Mom...

Have you ever felt like a phone call that's been disconnected?

Honey, it goes with the territory

of being a teenager.

Along with hormone hell,

bad driving,

classes that don't relate to life.

Well, don't worry, honey. I know it sounds hokey,

but it's all part of growing into who you are.

I just feel like--

[dad] Cindy, let's get those campaign buttons rolling!

Yes, sir!

Honey, you'll do just fine.

[Kelly] Come on, Brenda, we're going to be late for the club.

I feel like I don't belong.

Hi. For any newcomers, my name's Sky.

Welcome to the coffeehouse

that doesn't take itself too seriously.

We've got a little bit of everything here--

comedy, poetry, personal confession.

Talk about not belonging.

We have just walked Into Beetlejuice.

Oh, come on you guys, this is the hot new place.

But it's so smoky in here.

Basically our motto is, if you'll sit through it,

we'll do just about anything up here.

Anyway, like I said, my name is Sky. It really is.

My parents named me that. No kidding, and it gets worse.

My middle name is Blue Yonder.

You see, my dad was in the Air Force.

My mother was a pothead.

I guess that makes me an airhead, huh?

[laughter]

You know something though, being a GI brat

was great training for being here.

Because in both instances,

I had to learn to make people like me fast.

The most grueling part of my basic training

was switching high schools in the middle of the year.

I would pray to god that I wouldn't wind up a P.O.W.--

permanently outcast wuss.

[laughter]

[sighs] Well, I figured it out.

In order to survive the high-school trenches,

I had to devise a battle plan, and I did.

My strategy was swift and comprehensive.

First point of attack-- don't join any cliques,

join every clique.

[laughter]

That is so true.

It's not that funny.

Anyway, this girl Sara has the most amazing body.

She's got this, this citrus thing going.

All she wears is orange.

- That's bizarre. - Mm.

All right, how does this sound, man?

"I'll listen to my student body."

Dude, that's not going to flush here.

Know what the vice president of Beverly Hills High School

did last year?

He took out a different girl every week.

Know why?

So we could nail their votes.

[scoffs] That's sick.

No, that's slick.

Politics are very ugly in kind of a cool way.

- What do you mean? - My mum says that politics

and show business are in the same game.

You have to know the A-list people.

Listen, Steve, all I want to do is--

Win?

Politicians that win go for the jugular, Brandon.

I just don't know if I've got the killer instinct.

Yeah, you do.

Ooh! Ooh!...

So that's my life story,

soon to be a minor motion picture.

[light laughter]

Thank you very much, boys and girls.

And please be kind to your waitress.

[applause]

- Excuse me. - Yeah?

You were really wonderful.

Thanks. You look so familiar to me.

- Have you been here before? - No. I'm new in town.

An accounting brat from Minnesota.

We're practically related.

Would you girls like some coffee?

Cappuccino.

Um, cafe au lait with chocolate.

Hold the cinnamon.

Can I just get a coke?

Yeah, you bet. Uh-oh. Here comes Jack.

- You are going to love him. - Hello!

It's good to be back here at the Fall Out Club.

Nice to see you, mutant radiation victims.

Whipped cream on mine.

Whipped cream on yours?

So, what do we have here?

A typical California girl--

blonde,

into the important things,

like clothes, make-up,

way too much make-up!

Let's get out of here.

I love it when people make snap judgments

without any information.

Can be so much more objective that way.

Ooh! A hecklette.

Let me guess.

You tried on 50 jackets and none of them worked,

so you decided to go with this one.

Yeah, kind of like you.

You tried out 50 jokes, and none of them worked.

Ouch! I'm cut! I'm bleeding!

I didn't know she could do that.

Neither did she.

So there I was, listening to Kelly being heckled.

And instantly, I knew what to do.

That's great, honey. Would you pass the glue?

- [doorbell rings] - That might be the door.

Mom, these performance-oriented coffeehouses

are really happening. I really felt a part of it.

Right. Is this button crooked?

No. It's fine.

And, Dad, I'm pregnant.

Just testing.

Ahem.

Use neon or a big "W" for "winner".

That's a good idea. Thanks.

I was, uh, up all night

from that toxic cappuccino

thinking about what you said about getting involved.

Brandon, I can help you win. I know everyone.

Or how to glom onto everyone.

And that is exactly what you need.

Kelly, whenever political stuff comes on,

you switch to MTV.

Any help would be appreciated.

Any help doing what? Excuse me, hi.

I am going to run Brandon's campaign.

What?

I thought I was going to do that.

Well, isn't there enough room for both of you?

Excuse us.

Brandon, remember when I told you about that friend

who was going to run and then backed out?

Yeah?

That coward was me.

Why did you quit?

Because I didn't want to lose.

Well, neither do I.

Democracy needs you, Andrea.

I need you.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay, I'm ready.

Oh, Brenda, I can't go with you.

We need to have a campaign meeting.

Yeah, why don't you stay and work with us?

I can't.

Sky invited us to a political blabfest this afternoon.

Donna and I will go.

Well, actually, the smoke in that club,

it just murders my contacts, really.

Fine. I'll go alone.

I guess Sky is too mature for you, guys.

Please, they don't even card at that club... do they?

♪ Once upon a time ♪

♪ Want to break a shiny light ♪

Hey, Brenda. I'm glad you made it.

Listen, Jack and I are doing this "Earth Relief" benefit.

Here's a flier.

- Oh, cool. - Yeah.

Tomorrow. A.M.

What, are you a morningphobe, too?

No. I've got school tomorrow.

I wish I didn't. Truth is,

I feel out of touch with all that stuff.

I hear that.

That's why I left bad old Modesto High at 16.

What about your parents?

Mmm... they bagged on me a little bit at first,

- but they came around. - Wow.

Yeah, it was sweet.

My cousin was driving across the country,

and I just had to go with her,

so then we took off for Greece,

and many adventures later, I wound up here.

You've really lived.

I've been stuck in popularity-contest land.

I guess that's why I oversleep on the weekdays.

I couldn't get out of bed before noon

when I was in high school.

It's the legacy of being a new kid.

But you know something,

when I got out, I had this awakening.

I started reading these great books

and getting into environmental causes.

I could be doing this, just like you.

Yeah, you remind me a lot of me when I was in high school.

But you know, those high school diplomas, they really help.

I'm not talking about dropping out.

I'm talking about getting the best of both worlds.

Here's the high-school equivalency form you requested.

Thank you.

You know your parents are going to have to sign this.

Have you thought about what you're going to tell them?

I'll just tell them...

I'll tell them I'm quitting school.

- What? - No.

You cannot drop out of school

even if you pass a high-school equivalency test.

It's not dropping out. It's getting your diploma early.

- It certainly is. - You're always talking

about letting your little birdies fly off by themselves.

So go skydiving again, honey.

But the school experience is too important.

I learn so much more from my friends.

I mean, the people at the Fall Out Club,

they talk about books and politics.

I want to learn from life, not just memorize things.

We all have fantasies like that at your age.

That's true. I wanted to be Judy Collins

and go to Greenwich Village with a guitar on my back.

And I wanted to join the peace corps

- and save humanity. - See?

There's a difference between dreaming about these things

- and doing them. - Exactly.

And in my case, it's not just a fantasy.

You raised me so well, I'm ahead of myself.

Whoa, honey, put on the breaks.

We're not going to let you screw up your life.

No, you don't want to let me live my life.

You just don't understand.

- Yes, we do. - No, you don't.

All right, we don't understand!

And the answer's still no!

[door slams]

Ah, boy. - She'll grow out of it.

Thank God Brandon's got his feet on the ground.

[camera clicks]

How's this?

Ah... great.

Tell me if I look like a dweeb, right?

Here, I got some cute politician photos.

Try to model yourself after these guys, okay?

Well, you've been busy.

Kelly, Gary Hart never made it to the nominations.

That's because he was too cute for his own good.

Look, what I think we need to focus on are the issues.

Yeah. I had this idea

that, uh, we could feed some homeless people

with all surplus food they throw out at the cafeteria.

It's perfect. Exactly what I'm talking about.

Wait! We have got to hit people

with what they want for themselves.

Hey. Big news.

I've got my own campaign going-- to leave school.

Brenda, that is a great idea.

Yeah, we'll tell them they can leave school for lunch.

Brenda, you're not serious about quitting school, are you?

Actually, I am serious.

Well, you're seriously nuts if you do that.

Brandon, we've got to finish this roll.

The photo place closes soon.

[sighs]

[soft music playing]

- Excuse me. - Yeah?

Aren't you Brandon Walsh's sister?

I feel like Ferris Bueller's sister.

Brandon, you have to go up to everybody,

even those people that you don't like, alright?

See those girls?

I don't even know them.

Smile. You have a cute smile.

I do?

Hi. How are you doing?

I'm Brandon Walsh. I'm running for president.

Damn glad to meet you.

David!

My God, she's waving at me.

She must need something.

She needs me.

She just doesn't know it yet.

David, hi. Listen, I really need you.

Brandon needs a hot campaign video,

something sexy.

- You can do it, right? - Well, I'd love to,

but since I'm broadcasting Thursday's debate,

I think it'd be a conflict of interest or something.

Gee, that's too bad.

See, I was kind of hoping that after the victory party,

you and I could go out on a date or something.

I wonder what Geraldo would do in this situation.

He'd go for it.

Definitely.

The comedy of politics.

- Hi. - He's over there.

Yes, I am his sister.

Anything else you want to know?

Not really.

Hi, Michael. I'm sorry.

This election stuff

has just so taken over the school.

I'm, uh, kind of sick of politics myself.

Mmm...

So, what are you doing, homework?

No. Work, hopefully.

Probably just a bunch of pitiful jokes.

You do that stuff?

I'm trying to get on amateur night at this club.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Oh! - Kelly, hi.

Um, look, I need to go, okay?

See you. Keep up the work.

Bye.

Brenda, how could you do that with him in public?

Kelly, Michael and I were just talking.

Michael Miller is Brandon's opponent.

I know that. So what?

So, I hope you didn't tell him anything.

Kelly, he was Interested in me.

Right, Brenda. Grow up.

[Brenda] "The imagefest of teenage politics.

"Those guys are trying to act like adults,

but they pick immature adults to act like."

It isn't working, is it?

No. Take it further.

Make them kiddies in playpens being politicians.

Wah! [Imitating baby crying]

"Elect me!" Stuff like that.

Great. How do you learn to bring all that stuff together?

It just takes practice.

My first bit was so pretentious,

I pretended somebody else wrote it.

Try getting a little more personal.

The trick is to unlearn everything you've learned.

It took me years of performing to get there.

Rumor has it

that some things you learn with Jack,

you never want to unlearn.

Are you two...

No way.

Even good sex ruins a good friendship.

Listen, Jack,

I really hate to ask you this, believe me,

but it's family crisis time again.

- I've got to go up to Modesto. - Forget it.

Every time I house-sit for you, we wind up in fight.

"You didn't water the plants."

"You forgot to feed the yuppy."

- The guppy. - Whatever.

If you need a house-sitter, I might have a candidate.

[lively music playing]

Enlighten me. What does this have to do

with a high-school election?

You told me that girls vote more than guys.

[woman's voice] Bran the man! And he can deliver!

Bran the man?

What? What are you going to deliver?

You haven't told us what you are going to do.

That's the beauty of it. He doesn't say anything.

Brandon, how could you do this to our campaign?

Hey, we all want to win, Andrea.

No, wrong. Not me.

Suddenly there's a small part of me that wants you to lose.

- Where are you going? - To grab a submarine sandwich

and rent Sex, Lies, and Videotape.

You're on your own, Bran man.

- [door slams] - [sighs]

She deserted me.

Well, I'm still here.

[sighs]

I don't know. Maybe she's right.

Listen, Brandon. Uh...

If you really want something,

you have to go after it.

Hard.

You know, Steve wouldn't like this.

Well, Steve's off chasing some girl in orange this week,

but he would love to be in your position right now.

[door opens]

Uh, hi. We were just, uh, taking a break.

Hey, listen, don't mind me. It's fine.

I've moved past all this.

[scoffs] Excuse us.

No, go ahead, play your little political games

in your kindergarten-like world.

I'm off to experience the real thing.

[scoffs] What was that all about?

I have no idea.

Oh, hi, honey.

We didn't know you were back.

Surprise.

Anyway, I'm not...

For very long.

What are you doing?

I'm moving out.

[mom] Brandon?

In Brenda's room, Mom.

[dad] Here are the fliers.

I should have a sign like McDonald's--

over five billion copied.

Yeah, and I'm the McCandidate. Thanks.

You know, it's kind of weird not having Brenda around,

although I do kind of like the extra room.

Can't believe you guys just let her go off by herself.

Me neither.

Are we doing the right thing?

- Honey, what choice did we have? - She was determined.

We'd already said no about the high-school equivalency thing.

Well, it's only for three days.

Suppose she decides to stay longer?

We drag her back home immediately.

Well, at least the apartment's in a safe area.

And we can drive by and check up on her.

When Brenda decides to do something, trying to stop her

just makes it all the more attractive.

When you're a kid, you just want to grow up.

And when you're older,

all you want to do is be a kid again.

[Sky] How did you ever convince your parents to let you stay?

I promised to call a lot.

Actually, it wasn't that hard. It kind of freaked me out.

Maybe they've just been so focused on Brandon

that it slipped right by them.

Oh, come on, I doubt that.

You're pretty special.

Yeah, well, they only let me out for three days.

Yeah. Oh, okay, let's get organized.

Locks.

You got to jiggle them,

sort of like that.

Here's the keys.

You guys be kind to Brenda.

All right, here is Shakespeare,

and this is his lean cuisine.

- Yeah. - All right.

Are you sure you're going to be okay?

[laughing]

Bye.

[soft music playing]

That's brilliant. I wish I could take credit for it.

Oh, you have credit with me.

Here's what we want to discuss in tomorrow's debate.

Kelly, I'm monitoring that debate.

We have to play by Robert's rules.

Of course we do.

My phone number's on the back.

Brutal.

How you doing? Brandon Walsh.

Damn glad to meet you. You're gonna vote for me, right?

All right. Keep wearing that.

Brandon hates that jerk.

Yeah, well,

jerks are voters, too.

I can't believe he let himself get manipulated this way.

Yeah.

- Major integrity loss. - Hmm.

Oh, no. Here comes Svengali.

Mmm.

Brenda, how can you wear that costume?

Well, Kelly, you put one arm through one sleeve

and one through the other.

Brandon Walsh. Damn glad to meet you.

Hey, if it isn't Bran the man.

First of all, hippie witch is out.

It's not hippie witch, it's Twin Peaks,

and it's very in. But that doesn't matter.

What does matter is that it'll hurt Brandon.

Just till elections, okay, Bren?

So you coming to the campaign party at Donna's tonight?

We're going to show the new improved campaign video.

Yeah, I've got the gist. "We love him."

Actually, I'd love to, but I have to feed Sky's fish.

Sounds thrilling.

Well, Kelly, when you're finally on your own,

you'll understand having responsibilities.

Sky, you back early?

Oh, my God.

Hey, what are you doing?

Nothing.

Um, look, I didn't see anything really,

because I have awful, awful eyesight.

So I'll be leaving now, take anything you want.

Hey, lady, we don't need your permission

to repossess these goodies.

Repossess?

Hey, put it back.

At least let me call first.

Hi. This is Brenda. I'm house-sitting for Sky.

Did she leave a number?

Is Jack there?

Thanks anyway.

Just following orders, ma'am.

[knock on door]

There's nothing left!

Uh, you're something.

They took everything.

I know. I saw them cruise by.

It's pretty awful.

- Poor Sky. - Yeah.

Well, at least it's only things.

We've got what's important--

you... me...

Franco-American spaghetti.

Let's see here.

Hmm. Seems like the gas company's in a snit, too.

It's got to be a misunderstanding.

[chuckles] It always is.

Well, hey, we don't have to be slaves

to the powers that be.

We've got food.

Right. Food for the fish.

No. For the mind.

We'll imagine a spectacular, romantic dinner.

- Come on. - [knock on door]

what's going on?

Dinner is now a dinner party.

Kelly, I'm not in the mood for a surprise party.

This party is for Brandon.

So this is the fish you're feeding

while the cat's away.

- Kelly! - Hey, Bren.

Donna's parents bailed when they found out

how many people we invited.

- How many? - Don't worry.

They all won't show up.

Bran the man!

Brenda, how are you?

Sara, meet my best buddy, Brandon Walsh,

soon to be class president.

- Hi. Nice to meet you. - How you doing?

Orange. That's my favorite color and fruit.

- Good luck. - Thanks.

Where's the bedroom?

All right, I'll find it by myself.

He has a talent for that. Where's the food?

Kelly, if I'd known you were coming,

I would have stocked the place for you.

Well, I tried calling, but the phone was disconnected.

What?

There is no food.

- Ew! - Ew! Gross.

There's no water, either.

Hello?

Hello?

I'm here at the Walsh campaign party.

It's sort of a stand-up event.

Everyone seems to be having a great time.

And here's the candidate's sister,

the hostess with the mostest!

Get out!

Uh, friends,

yeomen,

country club men,

lend me those pierced ears.

Listen up. How many of you

really know what this candidate stands for?

Do you even know anymore, Brandon?

You've sort of turned into this processed candidate,

haven't you?

David, why don't we turn on the video, okay?

She wants me bad.

[electricity crackling]

[all] Ha! Great.

No manager is listed.

What do I do, ring all the bells?

- Low-rent city, Brenda. - You're welcome, Steve.

Brenda, where's the fuse box?

Fuse box? I don't know.

Everyone's meeting at the Peach Pit, okay?

Brenda, you really have the apartment from hell. No offense.

You know, you guys just burst in

not even thinking that I might have a life,

just assuming that it would be okay.

You could've been more supportive

and offered the apartment.

What about you, Brandon? You've been so self-absorbed

and taken my friends with you!

I didn't take anyone!

You are the one who ditched me

for the ever groovy Sky and Jack.

It bugs you, Kelly, when I get attention, so you decide

- to console yourself on Brandon. - Come on, Brenda!

You guys have been passing me right by.

Just keep on going and leave me alone.

- Brenda. - Don't do this now.

Why, is it bad timing for your campaign?

I gotta go now. Are you sure you don't want to come?

I don't think I even want to vote.

You know what, Brandon?

You might really have what it takes

to be a politician.

Looks like the party's over.

Imagine me gone,

sweet Brenda.

[David] Straighten up your ears.

The great debate starts in five minutes.

Tomorrow's election day

and date night.

[David] Five minutes.

You guys, we are in great shape.

- Yeah? - Oh, definitely.

All the girls in P.E. class are voting for you.

Crank together a victory speech, because your pal Steve here

is going to make sure it's a done deal.

Maybe I should talk about some of the community programs

I want to set up.

Let's wait till you're in office to make that stuff happen.

First you have to win, all right?

Yes.

Well, I guess this is the place.

Hey. If it isn't Bran the man.

So, you ready?

Yeah.

Not that it matters.

Hey, it ain't over till it's over.

Spoken like a true novice.

You know, I'm a veteran of these campaigns.

And my prediction is you'll end up

with about 80% of the vote.

Well, that's optimistic.

Listen, when you've lost as many times as I have,

you begin to develop an instinct for these things.

You're real popular,

and I don't mean you're an airhead or anything.

I--I just--

I have never seen anyone mount a slicker campaign.

Thanks, but, uh,

no one's going to vote for a president

just because they like their video.

Or they shouldn't.

You've got a lot going for you, Mike.

What?

Well, like it says right here--

all the extracurricular activities you've done.

Volunteer work. You're in the honor society.

You're really qualified.

You were even a student intern

at the state capitol last summer.

I am real interested in public policy,

especially since it affects the homeless.

Yeah, me, too!

I was thinking of a program where we could give away

the surplus food from the cafeteria.

That's great, and so, when you get elected,

you can use the pilot program I set up last summer.

Thanks, man.

May the better candidate win.

Same to you.

Mr. Walsh, your proposals, please.

Uh, my first order of business

will be to get rock bands every Friday at lunch.

[all cheering]

How do you plan to implement this?

Well, uh...

Contact the bands...

Uh, it's a little more complicated than that.

There are releases and permits and insurance.

When I was assistant activities committee chairman,

I, uh, brought bands in for the proms.

Are you aware of all the red tape involved?

No. Not really.

But you are.

And that's just one of about 50 reasons

why you're more qualified to be president than I am.

And you've certainly run a more honorable campaign.

What is he doing? This is not in our script.

And that's the reason why

I'm throwing my support to you...

Mr. President.

[weak applause]

I cannot believe I wasted two weeks of my life on this.

Brandon, you blew it.

I was going to stuff the ballot box.

It's the thought that counts, Steve.

So, maybe you're redeemable after all.

It's too bad you're still not running.

I might have even voted for you.

Thanks, Brenda. I can always count on you.

Oh.

Brenda, listen, um...

So, how's apartment life?

Pretty powerless.

Uh, do you want to hang out tonight?

I can't. I have to practice something

that I'm writing for audition night at the club... Maybe.

[Steve] So, Kel,

I see you in something wet.

Just you... me...

in my dad's hot tub.

Campaign debt nightmare begins.

Kelly kept talking about whether or not I wanted to win,

but I just didn't want to win that way.

Anyway, I can always run a different campaign

next semester.

I'm proud of you.

Now I can tell you honestly, I hated your campaign video.

So did I.

- So did I. - Brenda.

- Hey, stranger. - Come on in.

Hi, sweetheart. How are you?

Make yourself at home. You know what I mean.

You want a sandwich?

- Do you have tuna? - Oh, you bet.

Sprouts and tomatoes?

Wow. It's so supplied.

Oh, it's always like this.

Yeah, I guess so.

Are you really back home?

I...I...uh...

Yes? Yes, honey?

I just came to get some clean clothes,

and I need to know where my high-school equivalency form is.

Now, Brenda, we told you to forget that.

There's no way we're going to sign that, honey.

Guys, I just asked you where it was.

This is killing me.

Let's just stop this farce and beg her to come back.

No, let's drag her back

and tell her how much we missed her.

No. We've got to resist the urge

to nurture her right now.

That's right.

Restraint. Control.

What are you doing?

Care package for Brenda.

Right.

[Sky] Oh, God. What now?

Hi.

I know. I'm sorry.

I tried to get them to leave the furniture.

No. I know it's not your fault.

Your apartment still looks cool.

Things aren't always what they seem. Huh.

It's really hard on your own.

I didn't want to tell you

because you looked up to me.

You made me feel so up.

Tell me what?

You know why I had to go home to my parents?

You know what the big family crisis was?

Me.

I needed money.

I'm what you call plain, old overextended.

Is everything okay now?

Well, compared to the homeless, yeah.

Compared to my dreams, not exactly.

My parents are getting older

and they just don't have it to give anymore.

But you've got a job.

Tips from starving artists, myself included,

don't exactly pay the bills.

I refuse to cry.

Sometimes it's good to cry.

Look, um, you're more than welcome to stay,

but I don't blame you

if you want to leave this depressing floor plan.

You're not getting rid of me that easily.

Well, I got an idea. Why don't you stay here,

and I'll move in with your mom.

Mmm.

Oh!

Wake up, Fall Out victims!

It's amateur night, and anything can happen!

Wah! Anything at all!

I can't go through with this.

Oh, yes you can.

No, I can't!

Sky, you don't know what I wrote.

It's so personal.

This is all about finding yourself, kid.

[Jack] Keep it shut!

I, uh, I was thinking

of taking my high-school equivalency test,

getting my own place, being, oh, so independent.

And where do I shop? Mom's.

[laughter]

Hey, the price is right.

[laughter]

You know, you think when you leave

they're going to run after you.

Well, think again.

My brother, my twin brother, my other half,

he takes over my entire room.

Double the space, double the pleasure.

[laughter]

Are my parents freaked about my absence?

Do they yell?

No. They're nice.

Made me want to say, "Wait, I don't want to grow up yet."

You know, being on your own

doesn't necessarily mean having your own place.

It's about being your own person.

And it's pretty easy to glom onto someone else,

but, the problem is that once you're inside that person,

no matter how cool they are, you just want to say,

"Ugh, wait. Let me out! I want me!"

[laughter]

You know what?

I think I found me right up here.

So I've decided not to put my high-school career

on fast forward.

I need to practice being my own person

before I'm actually on my own.

Thank you for listening.

[applause]

Honey, you were terrific.

Hey, hey.

How did you guys know to come?

Safety in numbers.

Don't press your luck.

So, you serious about going back to high school?

Yes, Dad. I'm going to stay in school forever.

You're going to have to support me until I'm 90.

I've got to go talk to Sky.

See you.

You were so great up there.

Well, you're now officially a Fall Out victim.

It's not an easy life, but the right delivery helps.

Why, thank you. I'm flattered.

Listen, um, if you're not going to use

that high-school equivalency exam,

could I have it?

I never leave home without it.

- Hey, wait for me! - Come on.

- Bren! - All right!

[mom] I put on clean sheets, just in case.

Thanks.

Welcome home, honey.

You know, I could definitely get used

to this guest treatment.

- Goodnight. - Night.

Good night.

I can never get used to the smell of cigarette smoke

in those clubs.

You know, I'm jealous.

You had a good experience.

You got to hang in a cool apartment,

you found a talent.

Yeah, I guess I did,

and you walked away from the oval office.

Yeah, well, I did learn something.

And what's that pearl of wisdom, your lowness?

I loved having the bathroom to myself.

Well, those days are over.

[clears throat]

Will you autograph this for me?

[lively music playing]

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