Original subtitles

Thank you.

No!

No! No!

You ranted, sir.

I'm ruined.

Ratings are off. Videos in the toilet.

My sponsors want to deep fry me.

And your action figures aren't selling. You designed the show, so change it.

Change it?

You cold -blooded... Just try replacing me.

You've abused every decent actor in the galaxy.

You're a soulless, sadistic bag of pus.

And you smell.

Oh, flattery, young man.

We'll get you absolutely nowhere.

You little vermin.

You little dogmeat.

Look at this.

See this nose hair? It cannot better than you.

Actually, if I hold it up to the light, it looks like you in a tuxedo.

He had a point, oh bulbous one.

What do you mean?

Tell me we have a replacement.

Tell me, please.

Nothing proven, most congealed master.

The X -Men.

A bit perplexing. And from a backwater dimension, you don't usually bother me.

Do I look like a man that cares?

I don't care!

Get them!

Moto can make a star out of anyone.

Instantaneous test numbers are good in all dimensions of potentate and

programming.

The passion.

The drama.

You may have done it again.

Of course I have.

I am a genius.

Get Mojo the X -Men!

This is the finest television available today. Digital everything.

1 ,300 scan lines.

Does it have a built -in surge protector?

Our last television met with an unfortunate accident.

Accident? I don't understand.

You'd have to know Jubilee. She won't have any trouble with our new remote

control.

Don't touch that tile.

That's odd.

Hey, I warned you.

Nobody tunes out Mojo Vision.

Who are you? What do you want?

Let's not get off on the wrong foot.

Can we talk?

I've had my eye on your career. Forceful. Heroic. Loved what you did

Sentinel. Star potential.

Oh, sorry. I must have been the producer I had for lunch. I mean, the thing with

the eye blast. Talk about your X -ray specs, baby. You'll knock them dead.

Who are you? Is this some kind of sick joke?

Cyclops. Sweetheart.

I'm offering you X -Men a lifetime contract.

standard non -survival clauses. Don't worry, it's just a formality. I'm still

not sure what you're selling, pal, but we're leaving.

A rejection.

Well, well, I should have known better than to try to help out some ungrateful

amateur act from a, from a, from a, from a dirtbag dimension like...

decisions around here.

Stop it.

He can't survive much more.

Oh, tell it to a lawyer.

Do I interfere in your contract negotiations like, like, like, like I

stupid supporting actress to tell me how to run my business?

What is this? The Fourth of July?

Scott, are you all right?

Oh, now that's what I call entertainment.

Spyro! Will you show our cast to the studio?

And call wardrobe. They look like they dressed out of a dumpster. I mean,

really.

Excuse me one moment, would you please?

The auditions are closed.

Time to report to the set.

Jeans!

What an entrance.

Can you hear that applause? They love you guys.

Stick with me. And you, X -Men, will be stars.

Not like that ungrateful husband.

What's his name?

Longshot. Oh, depraved omelette.

Longshot.

He'll never eat lunch in this universe again.

He's gone. He's history. He's costumes.

He is forgotten.

Oh, Corruptor of Crania, you've got about ten seconds to send us back.

Excuse me, are you threatening me?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, this isn't a comedy. If you can't keep your line straight, I

can make you out of the first act.

Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely, as seems

evident. Hey, Furball, you had all your shots?

going to give this mind numbed bunch of cooked potatoes and the trillions

watching at home what do they want to see um peace um freedom maybe

good government they want blood and guts and love

and hate they want entertainment

The X -Men don't fight without a reason. Violence and destruction are not forms

of amusement.

Trust me. All my performing cattle, they are.

And if ratings don't go up with every show, I'll cancel the series and its

performers permanently.

How did we get out here?

I think we can thank our friend Mojo.

Where did that come from?

This one's mine.

Now to give him the flip.

Can't outrun those. I shall deal with the airborne threat.

Now that's what I call a slam -bang ending.

Listen,

I'm in here. What?

I'm getting numbers here. The mathematicians are...

Let them live.

You're sick.

What?

Scott and Storm are human beings.

You can't destroy them just to keep people amused.

You are just like a man that cares.

Hey, Control Room, bring up show number two.

Control Room.

Control Room!

Oh, we've got to get somebody to help with the filing.

Yes. Hey.

Um.

Rogue. I

tell

ya, this gal Rogue is big. Every kid in your dimension will give her right arm

for a pair of Rogue gloves.

Ha! What's going on, Beast?

Looks like old Blubber got stuck in some kind of high -tech super gallery.

Maneuver, my dear, but a bit breathtaking.

We may be outgunned, but it's little honey, so...

We are stable, but I fear our course has taken us into the sun.

Dad, blasted thing won't turn.

Hey!

No!

Unhazard! We call them reptilians!

No.

Push that applause button, Spyro. Let's rock and roll.

Wolverine, listen.

Mojo said it's only entertainment.

He won't let us win. He's controlling everything that happens.

I'm going to try it.

Gene!

What a long story!

Am I moved by this much, or what?

It's just television.

Electronic images created by machines.

Logan! Hang on, Gene.

Electronic images created by machines. And machines can be affected by

psychokinetic energy.

What, what, what, what, what, what, what, you bitch?

What are you doing here?

I'm setting the X -Men free so they can get out of my time.

I'm still good.

Hold it!

Yes! If you haven't been paying attention in my dimension, get with the

or get me.

Can someone please tell me what just happened?

Everything that Mojo created is gone.

Especially the audience.

Ah, well, nothing lasts forever.

Especially in television.

Did I tell you I used to go out with an actress with two heads?

Yeah? Was she nice?

Yes and no.

Oh, come here. Come here. Yeah.

You look great. Lost weight, had to facelift, whatever.

Listen, it's time we did a fresh start. You know, now we did a little rethink on

that rewrite for a regroup on a redraft. No, I'm talking new show, new time

slot, new dimension, bigger hair, less money, the whole nine yards.

your citadel.

Yes. When I built it, I felt I was creating a new world here.

Magneto, we must help her.

No, Charles.

The creature attacking the woman is Sauron. His powers would make him a

dangerous foe, even if we still had our own.

There is nothing we can do.