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1
00:00:01,550 --> 00:00:01,990
BRIAN: Seven.
2
00:00:02,990 --> 00:00:03,990
LOWELL: Eight.
3
00:00:04,490 --> 00:00:05,490
Nine.
4
00:00:05,490 --> 00:00:06,490
Hey, uh, hello.
5
00:00:06,990 --> 00:00:07,990
Ten.
6
00:00:07,990 --> 00:00:09,390
Eleven.
I'm having soup here.
7
00:00:09,390 --> 00:00:10,890
Sooner or later one of
you guys is gonna miss.
8
00:00:10,890 --> 00:00:11,900
Then what?
9
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:13,860
The end of life
as we know it.
10
00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:16,370
Hey, uh, come on, Lowell.
11
00:00:16,370 --> 00:00:17,370
This is really making
me nervous.
12
00:00:17,370 --> 00:00:18,370
Would you take that outside?
13
00:00:18,370 --> 00:00:19,870
Okay.
14
00:00:19,870 --> 00:00:23,370
But wouldn't playing catch
by myself basically just be
15
00:00:23,370 --> 00:00:24,880
throwing the ball away?
16
00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:28,310
All right, fine.
I'll leave.
17
00:00:28,310 --> 00:00:29,810
This is a disaster
waiting to happen.
18
00:00:29,810 --> 00:00:30,810
Oh, come on.
Would you just relax?
19
00:00:31,310 --> 00:00:32,180
Joe,
can I...
20
00:00:32,180 --> 00:00:33,680
Oh!
21
00:00:37,190 --> 00:00:38,690
You got to smile
at the irony, Joe.
22
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,390
(SEAGULLS CAWING)
23
00:02:01,870 --> 00:02:02,870
Hi.
24
00:02:02,870 --> 00:02:04,840
I need a one-way ticket
to Hyannis, please.
25
00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,310
With pleasure.
Our normal fare is $60.
26
00:02:07,310 --> 00:02:09,310
But we here at Aeromass
like to honor our troops
27
00:02:09,310 --> 00:02:10,810
with a half price discount.
28
00:02:10,810 --> 00:02:12,280
30 bucks? Great.
Appreciate it.
29
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:15,220
Why, Roy,
what a nice thing to do.
30
00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:18,220
Well, it's just my little way
of saying thanks to our troops
31
00:02:18,220 --> 00:02:21,220
for the job they did
over in Saddam's sandbox.
32
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:25,200
One-way ticket
to Hyannis, please.
33
00:02:25,190 --> 00:02:26,630
That'll be $90.
34
00:02:26,630 --> 00:02:27,630
Roy!
35
00:02:29,570 --> 00:02:31,570
I got to make it
up somewhere.
36
00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:34,570
If she wants
a better rate,
let her enlist.
37
00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:39,010
Hey, Helen. How was
the date last night?
38
00:02:39,010 --> 00:02:40,940
I don't want to ever
speak to you again
39
00:02:40,940 --> 00:02:42,180
as long as I live.
40
00:02:42,180 --> 00:02:45,180
Sounds like something
one of my dates would say.
41
00:02:45,180 --> 00:02:47,180
Usually preceded by,
"Don't touch that."
42
00:02:48,890 --> 00:02:50,890
How could you set me up
with such a weirdo?
43
00:02:50,890 --> 00:02:51,990
What,
Red Hastings?
44
00:02:51,990 --> 00:02:53,690
I thought you two would
have a lot in common.
45
00:02:53,690 --> 00:02:55,090
Like what?
46
00:02:55,090 --> 00:02:56,590
Well, you're
both desperate.
47
00:02:58,930 --> 00:03:00,930
Do you have any idea
why they call him Red?
48
00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:01,930
Oh, I get it.
49
00:03:01,930 --> 00:03:03,200
You're turned off
by red hair?
50
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,200
No.
I like the hair.
51
00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:06,200
I don't...
I even don't mind
the red car.
52
00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:07,700
But the red shoes,
53
00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:09,210
the red jacket,
the red shirt,
54
00:03:09,210 --> 00:03:10,710
the red pants,
the red socks,
55
00:03:10,710 --> 00:03:13,140
the red carpet,
the red couch,
the red cat.
56
00:03:13,140 --> 00:03:14,280
Red cat?
57
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,310
He dyed it.
He dyed his cat!
58
00:03:17,650 --> 00:03:20,320
Just take a wild guess
what movie we rented.
59
00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:21,820
Blue Velvet.
60
00:03:23,950 --> 00:03:24,950
Reds.
61
00:03:24,950 --> 00:03:26,390
The man thinks
it's funny.
62
00:03:26,390 --> 00:03:27,920
It is funny.
63
00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:30,190
His name's Red.
64
00:03:30,690 --> 00:03:32,700
I appreciate your trying
to get me into circulation
65
00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:33,700
after Joe dumped me.
66
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,200
But from now on,
67
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,170
I'll take care
of my own love life.
68
00:03:37,170 --> 00:03:38,670
Could've been worse.
69
00:03:38,670 --> 00:03:40,170
His nickname could've
been Stinky.
70
00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:45,740
Hey, look at this.
71
00:03:45,740 --> 00:03:47,740
The new L. L. Bean
and J. Crew catalog
72
00:03:47,740 --> 00:03:48,750
came on the same day.
73
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:50,210
Oh, I feel like stopping
what I'm doing
74
00:03:50,210 --> 00:03:52,220
and writing down how I feel.
75
00:03:53,180 --> 00:03:56,190
Hey, Helen.
Can I get a...
76
00:03:56,190 --> 00:03:59,920
So I heard you went out
with Red Hastings last night.
77
00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:02,360
And I had a lovely time,
thank you.
78
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:04,860
Okay, fine.
It just seemed like sort
of a weird choice to me.
79
00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:07,360
I mean, he's got that thing
about the color red.
80
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:10,170
Oh, really?
I didn't notice.
81
00:04:10,170 --> 00:04:12,000
(CHUCKLING)
I hear he's got red cats.
82
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,840
One! One red cat.
83
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:16,840
Can't a man have
one red cat?
84
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,340
You know, it's a sad day
in this country
85
00:04:18,340 --> 00:04:20,340
when a man
with a simple,
little eccentricity
86
00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:21,340
is labeled
the village idiot.
87
00:04:21,340 --> 00:04:22,350
(GRUNTS)
88
00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:23,850
Hear, hear.
89
00:04:25,580 --> 00:04:28,080
Oh, uh,
look, as long as
everybody's here,
90
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,690
I--I'd just like
to say something.
91
00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:31,220
I know what kind
of people you are
92
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:32,720
and I know you like
to make a big deal
93
00:04:33,220 --> 00:04:34,220
about everyone's birthday,
94
00:04:34,220 --> 00:04:36,730
but now that I'm firmly
entrenched in my 30s,
95
00:04:37,230 --> 00:04:38,790
I prefer not to have
my birthday recognized.
96
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,900
I'd just like to let
this day slip by
like any other day.
97
00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:43,070
No cards, no gifts,
no nothing.
98
00:04:43,070 --> 00:04:45,570
And, uh, if any of you
were planning a party,
99
00:04:47,570 --> 00:04:49,040
I don't want one.
100
00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:50,540
Today is your birthday?
101
00:04:52,010 --> 00:04:53,440
Well, yeah.
102
00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:54,910
I thought
it was last week.
103
00:04:54,910 --> 00:04:56,380
No. It's today.
104
00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:58,720
But, uh, I'm serious.
I don't want you
to do anything.
105
00:04:58,710 --> 00:05:00,220
Oh, let us do
a little something.
106
00:05:00,220 --> 00:05:01,720
No. No.
I have reached the age
107
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,720
when your birthday doesn't
mean you're getting
a year older,
108
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,720
it means you're getting
a year closer to death.
109
00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:08,190
Joe, you should not
feel that way.
110
00:05:08,190 --> 00:05:11,190
You know what they say,
"Life is like a fine wine."
111
00:05:11,690 --> 00:05:13,600
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You get better with age.
112
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,060
Only up to a point.
113
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:19,540
Then you turn sour,
everything settles
to the bottom,
114
00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:21,540
and they can't get
rid of you fast enough.
115
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:23,540
(SPEAKS ITALIAN)
116
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,470
Thank you.
117
00:05:25,470 --> 00:05:27,980
Uh, did anybody else hear
what Joe just said?
118
00:05:28,310 --> 00:05:30,350
Yeah, he doesn't
want a party.
119
00:05:30,350 --> 00:05:32,820
Uh, uh, no, I mean,
really hear what he said.
120
00:05:32,820 --> 00:05:36,790
He doesn't want a party
for his birthday?
121
00:05:36,790 --> 00:05:39,790
I think what Joe's saying
is that he really would
like a party.
122
00:05:39,790 --> 00:05:41,790
No. I was sitting
right there, Fay.
123
00:05:41,790 --> 00:05:43,290
I know what I heard.
124
00:05:44,330 --> 00:05:47,300
The point I'm laboring
to make is,
125
00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:50,270
I think Joe would really
like to have a party.
126
00:05:50,270 --> 00:05:53,700
You didn't hear the words
hearing aid from me.
127
00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:56,440
Come on, let's do it up big
and have a real party.
128
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,040
Yeah. That sounds
pretty good, actually.
Yeah.
129
00:05:58,040 --> 00:05:59,440
Why not?
Uh, let's see, uh...
130
00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:01,640
Oh, we could do
a circus theme.
131
00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,510
We could do
the terminal over
like a big top
132
00:06:03,510 --> 00:06:05,510
and hang a trapeze
from the balcony,
133
00:06:05,510 --> 00:06:08,520
sell cotton candy
and all dress up
in clown suits.
134
00:06:11,890 --> 00:06:12,620
Too much?
135
00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:14,460
Maybe a tad.
136
00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:17,230
Um, surprise parties
are always nice.
137
00:06:17,230 --> 00:06:19,700
I know it's really
short notice but I know
that Helen and I...
138
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:21,930
Helen, we could put
something together
for tonight.
139
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:24,970
I'm very excited.
140
00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:27,470
I've already found
the perfect gift.
141
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,970
Twenty-four carat gold,
silk-lined,
142
00:06:29,970 --> 00:06:31,970
hand-engraved
cigarette case.
143
00:06:31,970 --> 00:06:35,480
Yeah, Antonio,
Joe doesn't smoke.
144
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:36,980
Well, I still have
a few hours left.
145
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,480
Maybe I'll find
something else
on the floor of my cab.
146
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:50,060
That's right. We want,
"Happy Birthday, Joe"
147
00:06:50,060 --> 00:06:52,560
spelled out
in chocolate frosting.
148
00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:54,560
Uh-huh.
149
00:06:56,070 --> 00:06:57,070
We need it for tonight.
150
00:06:57,570 --> 00:07:00,000
We're having
a surprise party
for him in the hangar.
151
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:03,440
Oh, oh, and, Thelma,
put a couple of clowns on top.
152
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:04,940
I'll take the heat.
153
00:07:14,380 --> 00:07:15,890
Say, uh, Helen,
154
00:07:15,890 --> 00:07:18,390
the buzz
around the airport is
155
00:07:18,390 --> 00:07:21,390
that you're available
for discreet introductions.
156
00:07:23,890 --> 00:07:26,400
Great. Now you're gonna try
to set me up with somebody.
157
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:29,330
Well, not just somebody.
It's my cousin Bevo.
158
00:07:29,330 --> 00:07:31,270
Lowell, I'm really
not interested.
Thank you.
159
00:07:31,770 --> 00:07:33,770
Well, I g-got his picture
right here in my pocket.
160
00:07:33,770 --> 00:07:35,770
Lowell, I'm telling you,
I have no...
161
00:07:36,770 --> 00:07:38,270
Whoa! Hunk a doodle doo.
162
00:07:41,310 --> 00:07:43,610
Well, if that means
that you are interested,
163
00:07:43,610 --> 00:07:45,980
I'm going to see him
at the hospital right now.
164
00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:47,950
You're kidding.
He's a doctor?
165
00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:50,920
No. He just hangs around
outside the pathology lab
166
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:53,920
to see if they throw out
anything that he can use.
167
00:07:55,930 --> 00:07:58,390
Fay, uh, bad news.
168
00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:00,900
They just called an emergency
town council meeting.
169
00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:02,900
I--I can't make
Joe's party tonight.
170
00:08:03,230 --> 00:08:04,570
Oh, well,
this is perfect, Roy.
171
00:08:04,570 --> 00:08:06,570
Now your gift to Joe can be
not showing up.
172
00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,070
I think it'll be
his favorite.
173
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,810
Fay, you planned
this party so fast,
174
00:08:10,810 --> 00:08:12,440
you and I
completely forgot.
175
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,980
We volunteered to man
the suicide hotline tonight.
176
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:16,980
Is that tonight?
Yes.
177
00:08:16,980 --> 00:08:19,480
Well, uh, can't we just
leave the machine on?
178
00:08:20,450 --> 00:08:21,450
Fay.
179
00:08:21,450 --> 00:08:23,490
Well, no one ever calls.
180
00:08:23,490 --> 00:08:25,690
Well, you don't have
to sound so disappointed.
181
00:08:25,690 --> 00:08:27,790
Oh, all right.
182
00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:29,290
I think it looks
like the big party
is just gonna be
183
00:08:29,290 --> 00:08:32,090
you and Lowell
and Antonio.
184
00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:35,100
Can you give me
that hotline number?
185
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:36,630
Why don't we just plan
the party for tomorrow night?
186
00:08:36,630 --> 00:08:37,570
Is that all right?
187
00:08:37,570 --> 00:08:39,070
In fact,
that'll be even better
188
00:08:39,070 --> 00:08:41,000
because he'll never suspect it
the day after his birthday.
189
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,000
Right.
190
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,510
Uh, you know, Helen,
191
00:08:43,510 --> 00:08:44,510
I hope it's not wrong,
but, um,
192
00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:47,510
we spent so much time
training to work that hotline
193
00:08:48,010 --> 00:08:51,010
and then you sit there
night after night,
and nobody ever calls
194
00:08:51,010 --> 00:08:52,010
and it gets to be
kind of depressing.
195
00:08:52,010 --> 00:08:54,520
I mean, I only want
to help someone.
196
00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:56,520
Well, there's been
so many layoffs
197
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,520
and, you know,
the divorce rate is up.
198
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,020
It looks like
rain tonight.
199
00:09:00,020 --> 00:09:01,520
You know,
you're right.
200
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,030
Maybe we'll get lucky.
201
00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:10,700
Oh, Gail,
your birthday present
came in the mail today.
202
00:09:10,700 --> 00:09:12,700
Thank you so much.
203
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:15,100
I like it?
I love it.
204
00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:17,570
Of all the things
you could've brought me
from Argentina,
205
00:09:17,570 --> 00:09:20,080
nothing would've made me
happier than a gaucho hat.
206
00:09:22,510 --> 00:09:24,450
No. I--I will cherish it.
207
00:09:32,150 --> 00:09:34,660
Every time I look at it,
I'll think of you.
208
00:09:34,660 --> 00:09:36,260
Yeah. Oh, oh, I wish
you could be here.
209
00:09:36,260 --> 00:09:38,260
I found out
they're throwing me
a surprise party.
210
00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:40,260
Yeah. I didn't want them
to go through all the trouble,
211
00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:41,760
but now that they have,
212
00:09:42,260 --> 00:09:43,770
it's kind of flattering.
213
00:09:43,770 --> 00:09:44,770
Yeah, the only thing
I don't know is
214
00:09:44,770 --> 00:09:46,600
how they're going
to spring it on me.
215
00:09:47,140 --> 00:09:48,140
Excuse me, Joe...
Oh, sorry.
216
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,210
Hold on a second.
No, no, no. It's okay.
217
00:09:50,210 --> 00:09:51,710
Listen, Gail, I got to go.
I'll call you back later,
okay?
218
00:09:51,710 --> 00:09:53,710
Yeah, me, too.
Bye, bye.
219
00:09:53,710 --> 00:09:56,150
Uh, Joe, were you serious
about not wanting to do
anything special
220
00:09:56,150 --> 00:09:57,150
for your birthday tonight?
221
00:09:57,150 --> 00:09:59,120
Yes, I was.
Oh, good.
222
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,650
Because Ed from
Ed's Freight and Storage
called
223
00:10:01,150 --> 00:10:03,550
and he wants to know
if somebody can be here
about 8:00 tonight
224
00:10:03,550 --> 00:10:05,050
to sign for a delivery.
225
00:10:05,050 --> 00:10:07,560
It's probably those new seats
you ordered for the plane.
226
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,560
Well, can't he just
bring them in the morn...
227
00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:12,560
Oh.
228
00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:14,060
Tonight you say?
229
00:10:14,060 --> 00:10:15,570
Really?
230
00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:18,400
Isn't 8:00 a little late
for a delivery?
231
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,740
Well, uh, Ed's swamped,
and we're the last ones
on his list.
232
00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:24,310
Oh, well, isn't Ed
the busy one?
233
00:10:24,310 --> 00:10:25,710
Well, I would've asked
someone else,
234
00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:27,210
but you're the only one
who can stay.
235
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,680
Everybody else
has plans.
236
00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:31,150
Everybody?
What social butterflies.
237
00:10:31,150 --> 00:10:33,150
All right, Fay.
I'll stay.
238
00:10:33,150 --> 00:10:36,120
I got some paperwork
I can finish up
till Ed gets here.
239
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,590
Just hope Ed isn't
too late.
240
00:10:38,590 --> 00:10:41,090
Good. I'll tell Ed
you're gonna be here.
241
00:10:51,430 --> 00:10:52,430
(MAN WHISTLING)
242
00:10:52,430 --> 00:10:53,940
(ENGINE RUNNING)
243
00:11:02,850 --> 00:11:04,310
You Joe Hackett?
244
00:11:04,310 --> 00:11:05,350
Yeah.
245
00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:07,320
Ed, Ed's Freight
and Storage.
246
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,250
You're Ed? I didn't think
there was an Ed.
247
00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:12,250
Well, there better be
or I've been getting up
at 5:00 in the morning
248
00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:13,760
for the past 20 years
for nothing.
249
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,260
Go ahead, Skip,
set her down.
250
00:11:18,730 --> 00:11:20,860
Down, down!
251
00:11:20,860 --> 00:11:23,400
That's my sister's kid.
I'm teaching him the business.
252
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:24,900
He's a little thick.
253
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:26,400
(CHUCKLING)
Hey.
254
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,900
Anyway, the lady said
you'd be waiting.
255
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:29,910
Uh, told me to
give it to you,
nobody else.
256
00:11:29,910 --> 00:11:31,810
Made a big deal
about it.
257
00:11:31,810 --> 00:11:33,810
Oh, wait a minute.
258
00:11:33,810 --> 00:11:35,810
Only me, huh?
259
00:11:35,810 --> 00:11:36,810
(LAUGHING)
260
00:11:37,310 --> 00:11:38,820
I get it.
I don't believe it.
261
00:11:38,810 --> 00:11:40,280
(WHISPERING)
They're inside, right?
262
00:11:42,850 --> 00:11:43,850
Of course.
263
00:11:43,850 --> 00:11:46,250
What are they going to do?
Jump out and yell surprise?
264
00:11:46,260 --> 00:11:47,190
(LAUGHS)
265
00:11:49,690 --> 00:11:51,590
They're
airplane seats.
266
00:11:51,590 --> 00:11:53,100
Yeah, right, Ed.
267
00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:54,600
(LAUGHING)
268
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:56,100
Hey, you got
to sign for these, buddy.
269
00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,100
Got to sign for 'em.
270
00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:00,100
Nice touch.
271
00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:01,470
(CHUCKLES)
272
00:12:03,470 --> 00:12:05,980
So, uh, what
do you think, Ed?
273
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,980
This box might be a little
too strong for the crow bar.
274
00:12:08,980 --> 00:12:11,480
Maybe I ought to get out
the blasting caps.
275
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:12,410
What,
are you nuts?
276
00:12:12,410 --> 00:12:13,920
Oh. Oh, yeah,
you're right.
277
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,820
That might be
a little dangerous.
278
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:18,320
Maybe I should just
drop it off a cliff.
279
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,760
Cool. Hey, I know.
Let's burn the sucker!
280
00:12:25,190 --> 00:12:27,130
What's going on here?
281
00:12:27,130 --> 00:12:29,130
There's nothing in here
but airplane seats.
282
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,100
What'd you expect?
283
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,600
My friends,
wearing party hats.
284
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,100
(LAUGHING)
285
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,110
Come on, Skip.
286
00:12:38,610 --> 00:12:41,110
Hey, dude, we could
still burn them.
287
00:12:43,610 --> 00:12:45,050
Okay.
288
00:12:55,490 --> 00:12:56,990
Thanks for the lift,
Antonio.
289
00:12:56,990 --> 00:12:59,500
I can't believe
my damn car broke down.
290
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:01,500
A 15-year-old
El Camino
291
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,000
with a coat hanger
for an antenna.
292
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,000
Go figure.
293
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,500
Uh, scusi, Roy.
294
00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,510
That will be $5.50.
295
00:13:12,010 --> 00:13:13,510
You're gonna charge me?
296
00:13:13,510 --> 00:13:15,510
(STUTTERING)
That wasn't a cab ride.
297
00:13:15,510 --> 00:13:18,010
That was-- That was one friend
helping out another.
298
00:13:18,010 --> 00:13:20,020
Right. For $5.50.
299
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,490
I was halfway
to the airport already.
300
00:13:23,490 --> 00:13:25,450
You were gonna
come here, anyhow.
301
00:13:25,450 --> 00:13:27,960
I see. So next time
I go to Boston,
302
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,960
since you fly
there anyway,
303
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,960
you will take me
there for free?
304
00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:34,900
Tell you what, Curly.
305
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:36,400
Since you took me halfway,
306
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,400
I'll do the same for you.
307
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,840
Bring your water wings
and a set of flippers.
308
00:13:43,270 --> 00:13:47,280
Next time I try
to run him down
like everybody else.
309
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,780
Uh, you know, Helen,
I've been meaning
to tell you.
310
00:13:49,780 --> 00:13:52,280
This morning I met
the nicest man.
311
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:55,280
Ah. Okay.
That is it.
312
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:56,790
That is the fourth time
I've heard that today
313
00:13:56,790 --> 00:13:59,290
and frankly I'm getting
a little sick of this!
314
00:14:01,790 --> 00:14:03,760
Attention, everyone.
315
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,260
My name is Helen Chapel.
316
00:14:05,260 --> 00:14:07,760
And, yes, my boyfriend
recently dumped me.
317
00:14:08,260 --> 00:14:09,770
And, no, I haven't been
on a date since
318
00:14:10,270 --> 00:14:12,270
and I am fine with that.
319
00:14:12,270 --> 00:14:14,770
I'm single, unattached,
and I like it that way,
320
00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:17,770
so please do not fix me up
with anyone.
321
00:14:17,770 --> 00:14:19,280
Absolutely no one.
322
00:14:19,270 --> 00:14:20,280
Thank you!
323
00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:26,750
Does that answer
your question?
324
00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:28,250
Well, actually, Helen,
what I was going to say
325
00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:30,250
about that man
this morning,
326
00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:31,250
he asked me out.
327
00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:37,690
So I just made a complete ass
out of myself for no reason?
328
00:14:37,690 --> 00:14:38,630
Oh, I don't know.
329
00:14:38,630 --> 00:14:40,630
It's brought
a little smile to my face.
330
00:14:43,030 --> 00:14:44,030
Hey, morning, bro.
331
00:14:44,030 --> 00:14:45,530
Bite it.
332
00:14:45,530 --> 00:14:46,470
(EXCLAIMS)
333
00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:49,440
Oh, uh, Joe.
Thanks for staying
last night.
334
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:50,910
Oh, hey,
no problem.
335
00:14:50,910 --> 00:14:52,910
There's nothing I'd rather do
than hang around all night
336
00:14:52,910 --> 00:14:54,910
waiting for a bunch
of airplane seats.
337
00:14:54,910 --> 00:14:56,910
By the way, Fay's little
phoney-baloney phone call
338
00:14:56,910 --> 00:14:57,910
about my birthday cake
339
00:14:58,410 --> 00:14:59,920
worked like a charm.
Ha, ha! Big joke.
340
00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:01,420
Happy birthday to me.
341
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:03,890
(DOOR SLAMMING)
342
00:15:04,390 --> 00:15:05,390
If I'm not mistaken,
343
00:15:05,390 --> 00:15:07,890
it's,
"Happy birthday to you."
344
00:15:09,890 --> 00:15:12,330
Oh, no. He found out
about the party
345
00:15:12,330 --> 00:15:14,830
but he didn't know
we'd changed the nights.
Oh, God.
346
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:16,730
Can you imagine how lousy
he must have felt?
347
00:15:16,730 --> 00:15:18,300
This is so sad.
348
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:19,300
Poor guy.
349
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,300
It's a pretty
pitiful picture all right.
350
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:24,770
(ALL LAUGHING)
351
00:15:25,770 --> 00:15:26,780
All right,
all right.
352
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:28,780
But we have to do
something to make it
up to him.
353
00:15:28,780 --> 00:15:31,010
Well, we are.
Remember we're throwing him
a party tonight.
354
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:32,450
Hey, look, I know
Hackett's a sap,
355
00:15:32,950 --> 00:15:34,450
but how're you gonna
lure him to the party
356
00:15:34,450 --> 00:15:35,950
after what happened
last night?
357
00:15:35,950 --> 00:15:38,450
All right,
look, guys, guys.
358
00:15:38,450 --> 00:15:39,960
Look, if we really want
to get Joe here,
359
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,960
there's no way
he's going to fall for just
360
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,460
any run-of-the-mill story.
361
00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:47,460
This calls for
a masterpiece of BS.
362
00:15:47,460 --> 00:15:48,970
I'm gonna go inside
that office,
363
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:51,470
pull on my hip waders,
364
00:15:51,470 --> 00:15:53,470
shovel myself
a Mona Lisa.
365
00:15:53,970 --> 00:15:56,410
Joe.
366
00:15:56,410 --> 00:16:00,410
(SIGHING)
Your surprise party's tonight.
You got to show up.
367
00:16:00,410 --> 00:16:02,910
Yeah, right, dipstick.
Like I'm gonna fall
for it twice.
368
00:16:02,910 --> 00:16:04,780
No, no, no. It was
scheduled for last night,
369
00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:06,780
but we had to
reschedule it for tonight.
370
00:16:06,780 --> 00:16:08,750
So who's the dipstick now?
You still are.
371
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,720
Yeah, I know, I know.
But I think Lowell's gaining.
372
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,220
Seen that hat
he's been wearing?
373
00:16:16,660 --> 00:16:18,330
Wait, wait a minute.
374
00:16:18,330 --> 00:16:20,330
You really were planning
a surprise party?
375
00:16:20,330 --> 00:16:21,830
Yes.
376
00:16:21,830 --> 00:16:23,330
Oh, God.
I don't feel too stupid.
377
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:25,270
Well, then you're
not trying hard enough.
378
00:16:26,770 --> 00:16:27,770
I better go out there
and apologize.
379
00:16:28,270 --> 00:16:29,770
I'm sorry, man.
No, no, no, no.
Listen, listen.
380
00:16:29,770 --> 00:16:33,040
Just turn up here at 8:00
and act surprised.
381
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:34,540
Yeah. All right.
Okay?
382
00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:35,540
I'll be here. Thanks.
383
00:16:35,540 --> 00:16:37,550
(EXCLAIMING)
384
00:16:37,550 --> 00:16:39,050
You really went off
the deep end
on this one, eh, eh?
385
00:16:39,050 --> 00:16:40,550
Oh, you don't know
the half of it.
386
00:16:40,550 --> 00:16:42,580
When Ed showed up
with that big crate,
387
00:16:42,580 --> 00:16:45,550
I had myself convinced
that you guys were
packed inside,
388
00:16:45,550 --> 00:16:48,560
ready to jump out
and yell, "Surprise."
389
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:50,060
I think Ed's
afraid of me now.
390
00:16:51,930 --> 00:16:53,430
A--A crate!
391
00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:55,360
Isn't that
a little elaborate?
392
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:56,870
Well, I--I didn't know how far
393
00:16:56,870 --> 00:16:58,870
you guys were planning
to go with my surprise.
394
00:16:59,230 --> 00:17:00,770
Well, I'll tell you
how far.
395
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,270
The last suggestion was
Fay popping up from behind
your counter
396
00:17:02,770 --> 00:17:04,270
with a sparkler
clenched in her teeth.
397
00:17:10,650 --> 00:17:12,650
HELEN: Are you sure
this was such a good idea?
398
00:17:12,650 --> 00:17:14,150
Helen, I'm telling you,
399
00:17:14,150 --> 00:17:16,150
Joe thought we were gonna
do it last night.
400
00:17:16,150 --> 00:17:18,150
He'll never suspect
that we're gonna do
it again tonight.
401
00:17:18,150 --> 00:17:20,660
Did they really have
to nail this thing shut?
402
00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:22,160
You know,
I'm claustrophobic.
403
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,160
Did I mention
that I'm claustrophobic?
404
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,660
Only about eight times.
405
00:17:25,660 --> 00:17:27,660
Nine. I count nine.
406
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,670
Does claustrophobic mean
that you're afraid
407
00:17:31,670 --> 00:17:33,170
of confined spaces,
408
00:17:33,170 --> 00:17:36,170
or does it mean
that you sweat a lot?
409
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,550
Take your pick.
410
00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:44,910
This is gonna be
so wonderful.
411
00:17:44,910 --> 00:17:47,920
Imagine the look on Joe's face
when he opens the box.
412
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:50,920
And finds our lifeless bodies
with splinters under
our fingernails
413
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,920
where we tried
to claw our way out.
414
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:54,920
Well, I just wish he would
get this party going.
415
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,430
I've got a late
date tonight.
416
00:17:56,430 --> 00:17:59,430
No, Helen, you don't have
to make up stories for us.
417
00:18:01,860 --> 00:18:04,870
I'm not. I met him
at the terminal today.
418
00:18:04,870 --> 00:18:06,870
He owns a body
and fender shop.
419
00:18:06,870 --> 00:18:08,870
Gay. Definitely gay.
420
00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:10,370
He is not.
421
00:18:10,370 --> 00:18:11,870
Oh, grow up.
Auto repair?
422
00:18:11,870 --> 00:18:13,380
It's a front.
423
00:18:15,380 --> 00:18:17,880
I can't believe it, Gail.
They did it to me again.
424
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,880
Yeah, th-these people are
just jerking me around.
425
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,320
I guess I'm just
too trusting.
426
00:18:24,820 --> 00:18:26,820
Is that a man's voice
I hear in the background?
427
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:31,330
Oh, oh, right.
Right, right. The TV.
428
00:18:31,330 --> 00:18:33,560
(DOOR SLIDING OPEN)
429
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:36,970
Wait, hold on a second.
Something's happening.
Hold on.
430
00:18:36,970 --> 00:18:38,900
Hey, Mr. Hackett.
Remember me?
431
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:41,370
Yeah, uh, Skip,
isn't it?
432
00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:43,840
Isn't it what?
433
00:18:45,370 --> 00:18:47,380
Never mind.
What can I do for you, Skip?
434
00:18:47,380 --> 00:18:48,840
Oh, I got a box
out of the truck
435
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:49,850
you need to sign for.
436
00:18:49,850 --> 00:18:52,350
Are you sure?
I'm not expecting anything.
437
00:18:52,350 --> 00:18:53,850
Yeah.
438
00:18:53,850 --> 00:18:55,850
Your brother came in
this afternoon
and set it all up.
439
00:18:57,820 --> 00:18:59,750
Uh, what I mean is...
440
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:00,720
No, wait,
wait a minute.
441
00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:03,230
Brian set it all up?
442
00:19:03,230 --> 00:19:05,230
(LAUGHING)
I don't believe this.
443
00:19:05,230 --> 00:19:07,230
(WHISPERING)
They're inside the box, right?
444
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,200
Uh, I'm not allowed to say.
445
00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:13,200
Anyway,
if you sign the receipt,
446
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,200
I can go load up the forklift
and bring them on in.
447
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:17,710
I mean, it.
448
00:19:17,710 --> 00:19:19,210
Bring it in.
449
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,180
There you go.
Thanks.
450
00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:27,120
Hey, Gail, you are not
gonna believe this.
451
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:29,550
Tonight they really are
in a packing crate.
452
00:19:31,050 --> 00:19:33,060
Yeah. I think
Helen's in there, too.
453
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,560
Don't be ridiculous.
I have to open it.
454
00:19:38,060 --> 00:19:40,560
Yeah. All right.
I'll talk to you later. Bye.
455
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:44,030
Hey, Skip.
Turn around.
456
00:19:45,530 --> 00:19:48,040
No, I mean,
the forklift.
457
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,040
Turn the forklift around!
458
00:19:51,510 --> 00:19:53,010
Hey, we're moving.
459
00:19:53,010 --> 00:19:54,510
He must be taking us
into the hangar.
460
00:19:54,510 --> 00:19:57,010
Oh, this is gonna be
a great surprise.
461
00:19:57,010 --> 00:19:59,520
Oh, I'm having
trouble breathing.
462
00:19:59,510 --> 00:20:02,950
Is anybody else
having trouble breathing?
463
00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:04,450
You know,
until this moment,
464
00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:05,960
I never really understood
the phrase,
465
00:20:05,950 --> 00:20:07,460
"The smell of fear."
466
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,960
For me this is bringing back
happy memories.
467
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:16,470
It's how me
and my five cousins
first came to America.
468
00:20:16,470 --> 00:20:18,470
But that was
a small box.
469
00:20:18,970 --> 00:20:21,470
At least in this one
you can go off by yourself.
470
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:27,440
It's getting a little
hot in here, isn't it?
471
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:28,940
No kidding.
472
00:20:28,940 --> 00:20:31,950
I'm beginning to think
maybe cheese was
the wrong gift idea.
473
00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:35,950
(GROANING)
474
00:20:35,950 --> 00:20:37,450
I got an itch
on the back of my arm.
475
00:20:37,450 --> 00:20:38,950
Roy, would you
scratch it for me, please?
476
00:20:39,450 --> 00:20:41,960
Oh, all right, all right.
I'll try.
477
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:43,960
Hey! That's not Brian.
478
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:45,960
And that's not an arm.
Oh, what was it?
479
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:47,460
Never mind.
But if you touch it again,
480
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:48,960
you'll draw back
a bloody stump.
481
00:20:49,970 --> 00:20:50,970
FAY: Be quiet.
482
00:20:50,970 --> 00:20:52,470
(SHUSHING)
483
00:20:55,970 --> 00:20:57,340
Here you go.
484
00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:58,840
Skip, you might as well stick
around and have some cake.
485
00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:00,810
Give me a hand here.
486
00:21:01,810 --> 00:21:02,810
Ready?
487
00:21:06,310 --> 00:21:07,820
What the hell is...
488
00:21:07,820 --> 00:21:09,320
Uh-oh.
489
00:21:13,190 --> 00:21:14,690
My uncle's
gonna kill me.
490
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:17,190
This box was supposed
to go to Boston.
491
00:21:18,090 --> 00:21:19,600
Where's
the other one?
492
00:21:24,770 --> 00:21:27,270
BRIAN: What the hell is he
waiting for, Christmas?
493
00:21:27,270 --> 00:21:29,270
FAY: We'll be out of here
any minute now.
494
00:21:29,770 --> 00:21:31,270
HELEN: I smell salt air.
495
00:21:31,270 --> 00:21:33,210
Does anybody else
smell salt air?
496
00:21:33,210 --> 00:21:34,210
(HORN BLARING)
36086
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