Original subtitles

Are ya ready, kids?

Aye-aye, Captain!

I can't hear you!

Aye-aye, Captain!

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

-♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! -Ready?

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

Argh!

Steady, Plankton.

Careful.

Ooh!

What is all that noise?

What is so funny?

- This! - Huh?

Hopping hineys!

Put those away!

Oh, don't be embarrassed.

It's just your baby pictures.

You were adorable.

I was never adorable.

These photos have got to go.

Whoa!

You were such a cute baby.

Oh, I can't stand it!

Yoink!

-Aw. -Boo!

I'm not cute and adorable.

I'm horrifying and evil!

Hmph!

Plankton was the cutest baby I've ever seen

and I'm gonna prove it to him.

Eh, keeps him off the streets.

Time to eat, Moby.

Oh, you're gonna love this new whale baby food.

It's called Baleen Baby...

baby.

Open up!

No!

Come on, Moby.

Here comes the submarine into the lagoon!

No!

Mmm!

Da-Da!

I want my Baleen Baby...

...baby!

He called me Da-Da!

Your kids will call you Da-Da

as they go ga-ga

for the delicious taste of Baleen Baby...

baby!

And now it's time to announce the winner...

...of Baleen Baby food's cutest baby contest!

Baby Plankton!

Woo-hoo!

Yay! Plankton, look!

SpongeBob was right!

I don't have time for malarkey now, Karen.

I just ran out of robot oil.

Look for Baby Plankton's picture

on every jar of Baleen Baby baby food.

Baby!

Oh, he's gonna love that.

There he is. It's him!

I can't believe it.

Oh, man!

Oh, pardon me.

After you.

Hm. People usually step on me when I'm shopping.

Strange.

Ah, robot oil.

Time to get climbing.

Oh. Oh, no.

Let me get that for you.

Um, thanks?

Anytime, cutie.

I am not a cutie!

Okay, what do I owe you?

It's on the house, sir!

On account of you being so...

...famous!

It's pronounced "infamous," but okay...

Have a nice day!

I seen that butt on the TV!

I want my Baleen Baby...

baby!

What was that?

Blimping butt cracks!

Buy some Baleen Baby!

Huh?

Karen!

How dare you give out my baby mugshots

without my permission!

As much as I'd like to, Sheldon,

I can't take credit for this one.

I did it!

Now aren't you happier knowing

that you're still the cutest baby in town?

No!

I want to strike fear in the hearts of everyone,

not make old ladies pinch my cheek.

Look at these pinch marks.

That looks painful. Sorry about that, Plankton.

Sorry is for suckers, SpongeBoob.

You got me into this baby picture mess

and you're gonna help me clean it up!

I'm ready!

Here's the plan.

We cover up all my baby pictures.

Got it!

But first,

we chop down the billboards.

Whoa!

Then, we paint over the bus ads.

Fire!

Whoa!

I'm okay!

And finally,

we buy up the entire supply

of Baleen Baby food...

...and bury it in the desert!

- Phew. - Oh, boy.

We did it!

Nobody will ever see my naked baby photos again.

Wh-wh-what the heck was that?

S-s-sea coyotes?

Aw, it's just a bunch of whale babies.

They're adorable.

Why are they staring at me like that?

They probably smell the baby food.

What do baby whales eat anyway?

Who cares?

Toss 'em a jar and make 'em go away.

Break it up, babies. Break it up.

"Baleen Baby food is made of 100%..."

"Gulp"?

What the heck is "gulp"?

"100%...

p-p-p-plankton"?

Baleen Baby is plankton!

Run!

Ooh!

Where are they all coming from?

I don't know.

But I really dig their whale song.

Don't listen, SpongeBob!

Some say the song of a baby whale

is so hypnotic...

...it can turn you into a voracious,

plankton-eating...

whale!

I want my mama!

Sweet Neptune!

Ew, chum!

I must have lost a bet.

Help!

That's a relief.

I thought you guys were gonna eat--

Yuck!

Ew!

All right, babies, leave Plankton alone now.

Look what they did to my antennas, Mommy.

-Whoa! -I'd know that hiney anywhere.

Those are Baby Plankton's famous buns.

I'll kick your buns, you weirdo!

I'm just here to give you the Baleen Baby contest check

for one jillion dollars...

baby!

Well...

that's a baby food of a different flavor.

I accept!

Huh? What's that?

Baby Plankton tastes like chum?

Ew. That's not gonna be good for business.

Okay, change of plans!

We're done with Dr. Cyclops here,

so let's go with the second best baby photo we have.

What the...

Krabs?

Oh yeah. I forgot.

I sent in Mr. Krabs' baby photo, too.

Actually, that's adorable.

My pinchable cheeks!

Tag! You're it!

Oh, yeah? You're it!

Excuse me! Genius at work here!

Oh, my golly!

My painting! It's ruined.

You turned my beautiful self-portrait into a...

a sponge-blob!

I think it looks good.

What do you know, plebeian?

This is going where it belongs.

In the trash.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What have we here?

Fellas, check this out.

I've never seen such a profoundly

beautiful work of art.

Huh, it reminds me that in this chaotic world

there is still unabashed beauty.

See? People love your painting.

They're garbage people, of course they like garbage.

For your information,

we all got art degrees from Whale University.

Oh, be still, my beating heart!

Who's responsible for this masterpiece?

I'm Peggy Grouperheim, big-time art dealer.

Your painting is a work of sheer genius!

I'll buy it.

You recognize my genius?

Well, if you like that,

you're gonna love my other paintings.

Oh no, dear. Ew.

Those lack the spark of...

this painting.

Oh.

Clearly, that little urchin is your muse.

Make me more paintings of him,

and I'll give you a show in my gallery!

Here's my card.

Wow! She actually liked your painting, Squidward.

Yeah, what's wrong with her?

My own gallery show.

Soon, the whole world will know me

for my artistic soul, my genius.

Ugh! But I gotta paint SpongeBob.

I don't even like being in the same ocean with him.

I can't ask him to pose for me.

Wait. I'm a genius.

I'll just paint him from memory.

Ah.

Oh.

Ugh! I've spent so long

trying to forget SpongeBob exists,

I've forgotten what he looks like.

There's only one thing to do.

Stealth painting.

Woo-hoo-hoo!

Hm? Fries are ready!

Ew. Those fries are off.

I better change this boiling hot oil.

Aw, quittin' time.

Off to boating school.

I'm coming, Mrs. Puff!

I need a more direct approach.

Huh?

Huh?

Oh.

Oh!

Whoop!

If fine arts aren't working,

maybe martial arts will.

Oh!

Ow!

Oh!

Hey! Them's my kids!

You-you don't understand.

But-but...

Time for an even more direct approach.

♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la ♪

SpongeBob.

Oh, hello, Squidward--

Gotcha!

Ah, you've done it again!

Another beautiful masterpiece!

Just keep working with your muse.

Yes, ma'am.

I'm your muse?

Don't let it go to your head.

Well, if you wanted me to pose, Squidward,

all you had to do was ask.

I would do anything

to help you achieve your artistic dreams.

You would?

Of course.

Now let's get painting!

I'm musing!

♪ I'm musing I'm musing, I'm musing ♪

Stand up there.

Now, put one hand on your hip,

and raise the other in the air.

Got it!

What do you think about this pose?

Just pick a pose and stay still!

Yoo-hoo!

How about this?

How about this?

How about this?

How about this?

How about this?

I said stay still!

Thank you.

You haven't quite captured my quality of mature naivete.

You're supposed to be my muse, not my critic.

Now I can paint.

Uh, SpongeBob?

Could you scoot forward?

You got it, Squidward!

Oops, that wasn't me.

That was the chair.

SpongeBob, please stay still.

Somebody step on a duck?

I can't take it anymore!

Uh-oh. I guess Squidward didn't find me amusing.

Huh?

The way out!

-Paint the muse! -Paint the muse!

Paint the muse!

Yeah, Squidward! Paint me!

Forever and ever and ever and ever!

Huh?

Oh, I'll paint you.

I'll paint you to oblivion!

♪ Here I go a-painting ♪

♪ A-painting, a-painting ♪

♪ Here I go a-painting ♪

♪ All the ding-dong day! ♪

Time to make Squidward rich...

and me richer!

Oh, dear.

Looks like I pushed another artist too hard.

Mark up the prices of his old paintings.

I may have lost all my fame...

...and money,

but at least, I enjoy painting again.

Ow!

Hey, buddy, you finished with that?

-Yes. -Great!

More garbage.

Typical.