All language subtitles for Rake.S01E03.1080p.BluRay.DD2.0.x264-SbR_track4_[eng]

(CHAOTIC VERSION OF
'THE BLUE DANUBE'
BY JOHANN STRAUSS)

Andre!

Andre!

Hello! How's the future
of the family name?

Good.

Did you take care of Michaela, Eric
and Mama while I was away?

Yes. They're all dead!
I killed them.

Good boy. But don't forget to move
your bike away when it stops raining.

Somebody else might get killed.

OK, OK!

Look at you! Look at you.

It's only been three days
and you're more beautiful.

Yeah, look, there's two men
from the police

that are here to see you, my love.

What about?
I don't know.

Some misunderstanding, I think.

Come on to Daddy.

Come to Daddy. Come on.

Mr Dana. Hello.

I'm Detective Turner.
This is Detective Bradbury.

Gentlemen.
You're welcome in my home.

Oh, thank you.
Thank you. I wonder whether we...

I'm a big fan, by the way.

I think I've cooked everything from
your 'Clean Taste, Clean Life' book.

Oh! You flatter me.

Yes, there's a certain
situation in the Blue Mountains.

Uh, I believe you own
a restaurant there.

My husband owns
the BEST restaurant there.

I can vouch for that.
I've eaten there.

I had the lamb ris-arto
with a red wine jus

and my wife had the, uh, schpitz-el.

I have two restaurants -
one there and one in Surry Hills.

She still talks about the schpitz-el.
Both restaurants have hats.

That's good.
They'll have warm heads.

Um, anyway, what we're trying
to determine is...

And he's opening another one
in Newcastle.

A delicate situation has...
Gentlemen, excuse me.

It's been a long drive.
May I have a moment to freshen up?

Mmm, of course.

Enjoy.

Mmm! Oh, it's great cake,
by the way.

Uh, torte, yes.
Mmm.

He uses wild aniseed.
Ooh, that'd be it, then.

Have some more.
Oh, yes, please.

God!
Come on.

Do you cook?
Oh, well...

He's bolting.

Ow!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Mr Dana.

You right there?

We're placing you under arrest.
What is going on here?

My husband is a saint!

Are you alright?

Sonia, whatever happens,

you know that I love you as much now
as I did the day I married you.

You are my light.

Sonia.

What will become of us all,
Mr Wizard?

"..abdomen was ruptured
by the gunman."

See? I told you. He's a hero.

Says so in caps.

Point-blank range.
How did the guy miss?

Looks like he'll be back on his feet

and bankrupting certain tax cheats
any minute now.

You're on page five.

"Faces tribunal for
a record ninth time.

"Behaviour of such sustained
and questionable nature

"drags the legal profession
into disrepute."

Oh, does it give an actual date when
the legal profession was IN repute?

They're taking bets around here.
5 to 4 they disbar you.

I got in it at 3 to 1.

Ah!
I've got a wedding to pay for.

Right, yeah.

Bevan.
Bevan.

Where are you going?
Time to clear my good name.

Thank you, Kylie. Lovely.

Oh, no, no, no.
Thank you. Thanks.

You know Tammy.

Not nearly as well as he should.

He was always with Missy.

Tammy, I need you to go with Cleave
for a couple of hours.

Anything in particular
that you want me to work on?

Yes, actually. Very particular.

It's not gonna be a pleasant task.

Well, he's brought this on himself.
Yeah, exactly.

We don't feel comfortable
about this, Cleave.

Very uncomfortable, in fact.

But our hands are tied.

Since when is it a breach of ethics
to root a client?

Everyone's doing it.
It's hardly news.

"Barrister fucks client.
24 tomorrow, and sunny."

Ninth appearance, mate -

cocaine charges,
contempt, unpaid fines.

I know, I know.

And still facing tax charges.
Now this.

It's my cock-up and I have to learn
to live with it.

I don't blame anyone but myself.

It's good to hear you say that.

We are all accountable
for our own actions, hmm?

You're right.

I think both of you know
my new assistant, don't you?

Tammy?

Hi, Dennie. Hey, Johnny.

Whoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Whilst not condoning these actions
in any way, shape or form...

Not for a moment, no.

..the evidence remains,
at best, murky.

And while this committee shares
considerable concern

about your eccentricities,

we would be loath...

Most loath.

..to blight a career that has been
known for its service to justice.

Barney's in your office.

What, you just let him
wander in there?

He has a brief for you.

Why didn't he email it?
I don't know. You could ask him.

What, did you bother to inquire

whether he'd made an appointment
to see me?

No. No-one makes appointments
with you.

It would be a total waste
of everyone's time.

You'd forget them.

And even if you remembered,
you'd fail to keep them

because you suddenly decided
you needed to gamble

or attend some sort of blood sport.

Barney's your best friend
and he looks miserable

and I am bringing him a cup of tea.

Miserable? Not angry?

No. Just miserable.
Good.

Good.

Here.
Barnyard!

Dropping off a brief for you.

Thanks, mate.

Have you seen Scarlet?

Uh, is that a general
or a specific question?

Yes, I've seen her.
No, I haven't seen her recently.

I've been having my gonads
charcoal-roasted.

Oh, God! The committee.
I forgot. Sorry.

Don't apologise.

She didn't come home last night.

She hasn't called.

She's probably at
her sister's, mate.

Yeah, sure.

Feel like my guts have been
ripped out by grappling hooks.

Drink your tea.

What's the name of
that mate of yours

that we used on the Collings case,
Martin someone?

Oh, no, mate, you don't want
a private dick, believe me.

No, Simon Martin.
I'll get you his card.

He doesn't need one.

Look, mate, if there is another he,
and I can guarantee you there isn't,

he's not the problem.

He'll be a good part of it.

You wanna just go and have a look at
my appointments for the day?

Just talk to her, mate.

In a general way.
Don't get bogged down in detail.

What if she has found
someone better? Kinder?

More giving?

Able to properly love her?

I can guarantee you she hasn't.

I didn't want to involve you.

But you've known us both forever.

You know what she means to me.

Barnyard, she'll come back, mate.

Yeah.

Here's that brief.

You'll love this one.

A couple of silks
were sniffing all over it,

but I guaranteed them that you were
the only man in Sydney to handle it.

Hey, Cleave. Tell us
what's happening, mate.

Oh, guys, just here
for a cheeseburger.

Come on, mate.
We've been here all day.

Ah, Cleave Greene to see George Dana.

I look into my Sonia's eyes.
What do I see?

I see the small village I used to go
for holidays with my family

in the Tyrolean mountains.

Table number six!

There was a softness there,
but there's also fire.

Never mistake her softness for
an absence of passion.

She's a very passionate woman.

Our lovemaking is as joyous

as it can only be when a couple
has truly committed to each other.

But therein lies the rub, doesn't it?

More rosemary.
Yeah, I suppose.

You are up on bigamy charges.

It's because at the same time as
being married to the Tyrolean Village

for 11 years,

you've also been married to
Monique Charver for six years.

Six very, very happy years,
let me tell you that much.

Monique is like a truffle.

Table number seven!

She's so hard to find.
So...so delicious, you know?

I'm sure she is.

But she's a very pissed off little
truffle at the moment, isn't she?

Oh, I guess I have made
both my wives so sad.

Is that duck?

Yeah.

And keep moving!

Here he comes.
Here he is.

Hey, Mr Potter.
Hello, Mr Potter.

Hello. I want you beside me.

No, no, no. This is your moment.

Are you enjoying your hero status?

I don't really consider myself a hero.

I just did what any normal person
would do, given the situation.

Would you do it again?
Yes, I would do it again.

Yes, uh, thank you very much. Nurse!

Did you enjoy your stay
in the hospital?

No, I'd rather stay in a hotel
next time, I think. Thank you.

Thank you, Mr Potter. Thanks.

I'm married to each one of them
separately in my heart.

Each one of them is
an equal part of my life.

That's still equally against the law.

This rabbit business - fantastic.

Stufato.
Hmm?

An apprentice could do it.

How have you managed to conceal this
for six years?

No-one ever asked.

I have two restaurants, a new one
coming. I'm always between them.

Is there a chance you might've
thought that your first marriage

was technically not a marriage?

No. Why?

Why didn't you just divorce
the Tyrolean Village?

I gave her a solemn oath before God.

Then why didn't you take the truffle
as your mistress?

She wanted a proper marriage,

in a proper church,
with all the trimmings.

No, no, no! No, no.

Monique is a devout Catholic.

I have a suspicion that bigamy
isn't a big winner with the Pope.

My understanding was that he prefers
marriage over infidelity.

Well, the law in this country
prefers infidelity.

Did either wife have some sort
of life-threatening illness

that would've been exacerbated
by divorce?

Both exceptionally fit women.

Listen, you can go to prison for this.

No way!

I cannot go to prison.

I have responsibilities to my wives,
my children, my restaurants...

George, you're a chef.
Throw me a bone.

I love them.

No, no, no. No, no, no.

Law takes a very dim view of love,
mate.

I'm gonna need some happy snaps
of you and your kids.

As many as you've got.

How do I face them?

This is huge.

How are you guys off for
lightly chillied soft-shell crab

nestled on a bowl of pernod-infused
buckwheat noodles?

Move in with me.

What?!

David, you're crazy.
You hardly know me.

No, I wanna be surrounded by
female skin unctions

and pantihose over the shower rail.

And photos - you know, I don't even
know what your family looks like.

They look like
everyone else's family.

Not if they had you as a daughter.

I'll stay until you're well.
No promises.

A wound like this could take
a lifetime to heal.

It was a mistake.

Really?

Hmm.

And here I was saying to myself what
a well-thought-out plan it was.

I'm sorry.

I was there too.

Why do we always come back
to this place?

We had our chance a thousand
years ago at uni and we blew it.

No, actually, YOU blew it.

And the last time we made love...

You weren't married to Barney.

Yeah, but I was in a relationship
with someone else.

I could put that down to having a
cement bag of coke up our nostrils.

But last night was different.

So that's how
we evaluate romance now, is it?

The ability to have sex
without drugs?

Hmm. Maybe it is.

Cleaver, I do really want...

Barney is the only decent man I know.
We cannot do this to him.

I'm not in love with Barney.

You have to be in love with him.

You must.

And even if you're not, try.

Because he...he fucking loves you

and 93% of the world lives with
people they don't even care about.

Are you sure this is what you want?

I won't forget last night.

Please try.

Remember that bloke at our wedding?

I think he was your cousin.

He removed his teeth and whistled
'I Did It My Way'.

Joel.
He was a bit simple.

Joel.

And everyone laughed at
the poor bastard.

Except you.

You got up and you sang
right along with him.

Is it really so awful living with me?

I'm dying here, Barney.

I want a different life.

I want a...
I want a break from the law.

Maybe go back to my painting.

Eight months ago, we made love in
a riverbed in the Northern Territory

and you said this was
the happiest you'd ever been.

Did I?

Are you sure you aren't just
constructing all this in your head

to give you a reason to leave

so you can run off
and have your little affair?

Mum, Mum!

I got three gold stars for
spelling 'tyrannosaurus'.

Can you spell it?

Uh...uh, T...

No, I-T.

Oh!

3:30 in the morning, I'm watching
this doco on the nature channel.

Right, so I take it the sleeping
thing's still not happening for you?

I just bought this knife that can
cut through frozen meat and cars

and you never have to sharpen it.

And I'm thinking, rather than watch
another infotainment program,

spend another 195 bucks on
another useless piece of shit,

probably safer to watch
the nature channel.

Do you want to sit down?
No, I'm fine.

And, um, they're playing this doco
on chimpanzees

which are, according to this show,
98.7% us.

There's this 1.3% genetic disparity

that has something to do with our
ability to program DVD players.

But essentially,
they are us and we are them.

OK.

Do you know how chimps live?

The females hang about in a circle
picking fleas off each other

and worrying that young Bobo's
getting in with the wrong crowd

and wishing their anal skin was
as red and swollen as Hilda's.

Do you know what the males are doing?

Boring the crap
out of their ex-wives?

They're waiting for the babes
to go on heat.

And when they do, it is war.

The alpha male tries to beat
the betas off,

but in the end, he either manages to

or someone better-looking
takes over the pack

and the betas just go back

to watching the females pick fleas
off each other.

OK, I'm guessing,
buried beneath all this,

is some epiphany on your part.

We don't live how we're meant to.

This is why humankind
is in so much trouble.

Fuzz, your father's here!

You marry and are expected
to stay faithful to one woman

for the rest of our lives,

no matter how earth-shatteringly dull
that might be.

But 98.7% of our DNA's telling us
we're morons.

There's 1.3%,
the DVD-programming part,

telling us we're doing
the right thing.

Did something happened this week?

I fucked my best friend's wife.

You fucked Scarlet?!

Oh, shit, Cleaver! How could you?

I didn't really mean to.

Oh, God! Poor Barney. Poor Scarlet!

Oh, well, I didn't do it by myself.

Why on earth would you
do a thing like that?

I think my percentage chimp DNA
is higher than others.

O Heaven, that such companions
thou'ldst unfold

And put in every honest hand a whip

To lash the rascals naked
through the world.

Terrific.

You can remember
Shakespearean quotes

but you need Mum to remind you
when my birthday is.

Why do you think that is?

So you get a present.

How's the new love of your life?
She's great.

She's in your English class, yeah?

Yep. She's into Shakespeare too.

Hmm. Hence the sudden interest.
Maybe.

So....."To understand
the character of lago,

"first you need to define
a bad man."

Alright.

Someone who...

Someone who wilfully,
with premeditation

and clear understanding of
their actions

and the weight of their consequence

commits injury anyway.

Good. That's exactly what lago does.

Ruins Othello's life

and the whole time
he's pretending he's his best mate.

Who is this prick?

No, lago's a much more complex
character than that.

His reasons are
psychological and nuanced.

No, he just wants something that's
not his, and fuck everyone else.

No, that's a stupidly reductive
reading of the script, my friend.

You're an hour late for school.
Come on.

Mmm, mmm.

Oh.

Mmm, mmm.

Ah! It's building.

Have you spoken to Sonia,
the first wife?

Doesn't wanna know. Subpoena her?

Try and have a chat first.

Wife number two wants to melt
his balls and wear them as earrings.

You can't blame her.

Why don't you go and lavish wife 1

with some of the old Barnyard charm,
huh?

I have to go and see judgie
in chambers.

Why?
Social catch-up.

What the fuck is this I hear about
you intending to plead not guilty?

Bigamy is an offence of
strict liability, Cleave.

There's no defence to it
unless a spouse shoots through.

Is that the case here?
Not that I'm aware.

So?

My hands are tied, Jim.
My client wants his day in court.

No, he wants another week
in the press.

He knows public sympathy
is building.

Don't let him do it, Jim.
He has no grounds.

I do. Crimes Act, section 52.

"Whosoever steals rocks, stones,
soil, sand or clay

"from private or government land

"is liable to six months in prison."

Under this statute, my son should be
doing hard labour

for nicking a cup of igneous rocks
up at Noosa.

Oh, you've been putting it
up your nose again, haven't you?

The laws pertaining to bigamy are
just as absurd and just as outdated.

I hate to have to break this to you,
Cleaver,

and I know it doesn't accord with
your world view,

but the fact that you don't like
a law isn't a defence.

De facto relationships
now carry equal weight under law.

So do gay relationships.

So what does this mean?

That a gay guy with
a couple of long-term partners

or a businessman who installs his
mistress in a flat up the Cross

should be similarly be charged
with bigamy?

We could fill the jails overnight.

That's a separate issue.
Jim, don't let...

That... It...
Meg, it's the same issue.

Didn't you hear our esteemed
Attorney-General on the radio last night?

He was forced to admit that there are
probably hundreds of polygamists

in this State right now.

They're not being prosecuted. Why?

Because the vast majority of them
are Muslim.

And so the wives don't
or can't complain

and the powers that be
turn a blind eye.

Well, that's a cultural issue.

Oh, so culture's now a defence,
is it, Jim? Great!

Well, if my client turns out
to be a Mormon, then...

Oh, don't go there, Jim.
It's bullshit.

Jim, Jim, Jim.

Bigamy turns out to be a crime

only when one of the wives
cracks the shits.

OK? It's petty vengeance at best.

I'm telling you, for once in your
miserable life, show some ticker.

Your argument has some merit, Cleave.

Oh, you are a weak, weak man, Jim!

18 years I spent
married to that cow!

Now, try not to make a mockery
of my ruling when this hits court

or I'll crucify you.

Jim...

Sonia Dana?

My name's Barney Meagher.
I'm a lawyer assisting your husband.

I clearly did not love him
the way he needed to be loved.

I failed him. I drove him
into the arms of another woman.

I'm sure you didn't.
You've got every right to feel angry.

Look, if your husband goes to prison,

it's...it's your children
who will suffer.

I am aware of that.

I'm...I will help him
in whatever way I can.

That's very good of you.

I've always known in my heart
I wasn't meeting his needs.

Hmm. You sense it, don't you?

That gnawing sensation
way down inside.

You hope you're wrong, but...

..you know you're not.

Never know when they're going to
hurt us or how to stop it.

When you love, you're a prisoner.

When you love and you're
not loved back, it's hell.

I tried so hard
to make George happy.

I supported her when she
dropped out of law for a year.

Paid for her art classes.

I paid for his first restaurant.

Yeah, you could buy them India.
Wouldn't mean a damn thing.

Nothing.

So are you the same
with both wives?

I suppose not.

Sonia likes me to be the dominant one

and Monique prefers me
quiet and supportive.

Which is most you?

Different women
bring out different things.

Remember, in the end,
you are what women want, no?

How'd you make out with
the Tyrolean Village?

She's on side.
She's a lovely, warm woman.

Very vulnerable.
Yeah, yeah, but on side?

Yeah.

Your Honour, Mr Dana knowingly
and with full appreciation

of the penalties involved,

contravened section 92
of the Crimes Act

by choosing to marry two women
and raise two separate families

at the same time.

He hid this arrangement
from both women

and fully intended to maintain
this lifestyle

until one of his wives
discovered the truth.

The defendant has committed
a devastating and fundamental

breach of trust

that has destroyed the lives
of two families.

One shudders to think of the impact
such deceit will have

upon the lives of
six innocent children.

Mr Greene.

Ladies and gentlemen, our Crimes Act
is littered with offences

that are meaningless today.

It is an act that was promulgated
in 1900.

Now, admittedly, there have been
many amendments since.

But still, in many sections,

it reflects the fundamental
hypocrisies

that were inherent in
Victorian Britain.

Things have changed,
ladies and gentlemen.

And in an age where morality is
a peculiarly individual matter,

Mr Dana has committed no real crime.

Mrs Dana...the Second,

did you marry George Dana
on August 30, 2004?

I did.

Were you aware that George was
already married at the time?

Of course not.

No further questions.

Uh, my client has treated you
very shabbily, hasn't he?

We stood at the altar before God
and my parents.

And George promised that
he would be true to me forever.

And then what?

A friend sang
'Wing Beneath My Wings'.

I meant more AFTER that.

Uh, he was violent, wasn't he?

No. Never.

He's a very gentle man.

Really? But mentally cruel?

He was my fairytale prince.

And now he's destroyed everything
that we've worked to build.

Which was what, again?

A wonderful life together,
children, our home.

Sorry, which one of these has George
failed to deliver on, Mrs Dana?

I mean, you have the house,
three lovely children.

If you so choose, you can still have
a life together.

He has another entire family.

So to understand,
if you had remained ignorant

of the existence of the other wife
and children,

you would still be deliriously happy?

He's deceived me.

Isn't it entirely possible
that when he was with you,

he was being completely sincere?

And when he was with
the other Mrs Dana,

he was also sincere?

You can only be sincere
with one person.

Oh.

That's a Catholic thing, isn't it?

Your Honour!
I withdraw it.

No further questions.
Thank you, Your Honour.

With Your Honour's indulgence...

You want more?

I have written down on these cards

questions lifted directly from

Scott Knowles's
'Guide to Being a Great Dad'.

Um...

Mr Dana, what is your second child's
favourite toy?

From my first marriage?

Let's start there.

Michaela.

A little donkey she calls Mr Jasper.

And from the second?
Roman.

His favourite toy is Peter Patch -
the elephant.

Right.

Tell me about the favourite sport

of your youngest son
from your first marriage.

Eric. Eric is soccer mad.

Every Saturday,
I have to take him to the game.

Then I go to the Blue Mountains

to take my eldest daughter
to her basketball

and then I have to hurry back
to Surry Hills

to take my little one
to her evening ballet class.

Your Honour!

He's a model father
in all but one minor respect.

He loves his children,
he loves his wives.

He was doing it all
for his own gratification.

How can circumnavigating the bloody
continent three times a week

in supporting six children,
two houses and two wives

be for your own gratification?

He was just trying to escape
the inevitable boredom

that comes with
a long-term marriage.

We certainly know about that.

You've just summarised
the position of the law, Meg.

Due to some hairshirt,
Calvinist tradition

or premature bottle-feeding,

you believe that all people should
suffer through marriage until death.

No reprieve, just jail for anyone who
gives in to the inevitable boredom.

There is a small get-out-of-jail clause
called divorce.

Thank...
He didn't want to divorce them.

He loves them.

Let's adjourn for the day.

I might have more energy
for this tomorrow.

I doubt it.

There is someone else.

Keep your shirt on, Barn...

She admitted it.

Shit. OK.

Did she say who?

No.

Good.

I mean, good that you've opened up
a line of communication, huh?

She said she loves someone else
and she needs to find herself.

Why in times of crisis do women speak
fluent cliché?

You OK?

I locked myself in the study.

Put on some Diamond.

Tried to take stock of my life.

Are you sure she's not leaving you
because of your musical taste?

You don't even know how to
get depressed properly.

Can we go out for a drink?

Please.

There's a hint of passionfruit
in this.

Bit too sweet.

Oh, fuck, mate. It's not
a bloody wine-tasting.

We're supposed to be
getting shit-faced here

and weeping about
the futility of existence.

I'm the only one holding my end up.

I'm used to being positive.

Well, try not to be, OK?

You brought me to this
bloody lawyers' bar

full of men with
irritable bowel syndrome.

Let's go...let's go...
let's go somewhere

where I feel a bit more like
a gynaecologist, yeah?

Scarlet hates the routine.

She hates how ordinary
our life has become.

I love our little walks around
Bronte, our lunches at the pub.

Why does everyone want a big life?

Oh, no!

I told you it was a lawyers' bar.

She even admitted he was hopeless.
An indulgent, tragic, middle-aged failure.

Right, well, there you go.

I suppose it could just be the sex.

She said he wasn't even
all that good in bed.

I just don't get it.

Ah, Cleaver.
Ah!

Barney, you remember Melissa.
Yep.

Barney. Hi, Cleaver.
Hello, Melissa.

Don't you just love this place, huh?
Our kind of crowd.

We have a booking.
Table for six. Potter.

Is Scarlet here?
If you two'd like to join us...

She's having an affair.

Right. I'm sorry.

Don't think I meant
to say that out loud.

Hope it all works out.

How are you, Cleaver?
I'm tickety-boo.

Good to see you, mate. Call you.
Thanks, mate.

Can we get a double vodka martini

and a passionfruit whip
for my father here.

Can we put it on their table, please?
We're with them.

So here I was, six -
I was on one train going to Orvieto

holding the wrong man's hand,

whilst my parents were on the train
to Florence with the wrong daughter.

Good Lord! It's Clark Kent!

No, it's Superman.

G'day, Norton.

How is my wounded hero?

It's just a kryptonite flesh wound.

Oh!

I believe you know everyone here
except for Melissa.

My, uh...well, the love of my life.

Hello, Melissa.

David has certainly kept you
a secret.

So how's that ATX thing going?

Ooh, it's a bloody goldmine. I swear,
there's another house and pool in it.

It'll run for another 18 months at least.
Excuse me.

What are you drinking, sweetheart?

Fuck off, Norton.

Please. Someone's gonna come in.

You know I'm heartbroken.

You left the club without a boo

and I had to find another girlie
to tag team.

I'm out of it for good.
Oooh.

Please, I beg you.
Don't say a word to David.

So the whole time
you were dining out

on the supreme justice here,

you were thinking of studying law.

Well, I had to do something
to keep me awake.

No, no, no, no, no.

Mmm. Let's grab a cubicle. Come on.

I'll give you 10 bucks.
You give me some oral.

Mates rates.

Because I am
a mate of David's

and we don't want to
stuff his evening.

If you're here for marriage advice,
don't do it.

It's an invention by 12th-century
legislators to deal with progeniture.

I'm in trouble.
It's a long queue.

I don't have anyone else.

What happened to Harry...
sorry, Hero Potter?

I can't tell him. He can't know.

I'm sorry. How does this work?

You piss me off. You tell me you don't
want me in your life anymore...

I had this school friend,

and she met Robert at a party
when she was 23

and they talked together all night.

And then as the sun came up,
he proposed to her on the spot

and she said yes.

I've been there. Spiked punch.

And now they have three kids
and they're always laughing and...

Oh, fuck it, Cleave.

They just love each other.

I mean, is it so wrong
for me to just want that?

And that's what you have with
David...sorry, Harry?

Will you please help me?

Sonia Dana, despite
all that's happened,

do you continue to love your husband?

Yes, I do. Very much.

Would you say he's been a good father
to your children?

He's a fine father.

They love him, he loves them.

And he's always provided adequately?

He's a generous man - always.
We're very comfortable.

And so when it comes time for
the judge to hand down his sentence,

what would you like
that outcome to be?

Seven years in prison.

So even though...

I beg your pardon?
Yes.

I thought long and hard about
what you said, and you were right.

I was blaming myself for
not fulfilling his desires.

So...
That will be all.

Thank you, Your Honour.

Your Honour, Mrs Dana the First
is a defence witness.

Surely my learned friend would like
to hear her complete testimony?

Yes. Proceed, Mrs Dana.

We can only give what we have.

And I gave that.

And you abused it.

You're too greedy, George.

You expect too much.

Thank you.

Ms Makepeace?

No questions, Your Honour.
Mr Greene has done superbly.

George Dana is in most respects
a model husband.

Only twice.

The reality is if Mr Dana
had married his first wife

and just decided to have a squalid,
shabby affair with Monique,

he would not be before us today.

Indeed, he could've still had kids
with his second great love,

he could've bought a house with her -

the law would take no umbrage.

But because Mr Dana chose to do
the honourable thing,

the thing that both women wanted,
which was to marry them,

Ms Makepeace now wants to
incarcerate him.

We have shown Mr Dana to be...
Uh, Your Honour.

Sorry to interrupt
the Sermon on the Mount.

Some information
has just come to hand

that has great relevance
to this matter.

Three wives?!

Didn't you think when you were
charged, this fact might emerge?

I was hoping it wouldn't.

I don't know if there's a law
for trigomy.

Bugger me!

I had the judge right here.
Right here!

Who is she?
I met her in Newcastle.

Oh! The new restaurant, yeah?

Her name is Juno.
She's like a juniper berry.

She's got a sharp flavour,
but with sweetness also.

I don't care if she carries
a seed pod on her back.

Stop marrying people!

I love these women.

Yeah, well, now you're gonna have to
learn to love men in showers.

I have no idea how to save you.

How did Security
ever let you in?

Need a minute of your time, mate.

You can't afford it,
sunshine.

If you want to make an appointment,
speak to my girl.

I don't do appointments.

Alright, Cleaver, what's this about?

Our mutual friend Melissa.

Who? Oh, the slut.

You don't know her,
you've never met her,

you know nothing about her past, OK?

Let her get on with her life.

She's earnt that.
It's no skin off your nose.

Don't tell me we have feelings
for the slut too?

My God. First David, now you.

I promise you I will drag you down
to my level,

and not even I want to live there.

Cleaver, I eat miserable,
sad failures like you on an hourly basis.

I will do with Miss Missy
whatever I fucking well feel like!

Are we clear on that front?

These damn lift doors.
Been warning him about this.

I'm unchaining you.

You can have your precious freedom.

I think we should...
No, no, go.

Soar like an eagle.

I still have feelings for you.

I doubt you ever have.

Oh, no, that's not fair.
That is so not fair.

I've always stood by you.

And I've never given you
a bloody reason not to.

OK, you're angry.

You're hurting
and you're lashing out. I get that.

But we need to try to protect
what we have here.

I've been going through
your artwork.

'Allegorical Woman Ill'.

It's only allegorical because you
couldn't make it look like a woman.

Honey, you're just
demeaning yourself now.

You'll regret this in the morning.
No.

I regret not saying it earlier.

Your art is crap.

You have no discernible talent.

The idea you can give up the law
to paint...

..it's laughable.

Oh, hell!

Just put my foot through
Allegorical Woman's breast.

Or is that a foot?

Let's not delude
ourselves here.

George Dana has no regard
for his many wives, children

or for the moral laws
that underpin our society.

There are no
mitigating circumstances.

Mr Greene passes this crime off

as a piece of trivia, an anachronism,

a statute from the Palaeozoic era.

Why? Because it doesn't suit him.

If we were all allowed to break laws
that we disagree with,

society would be in chaos.

We could not enter into an agreement
or transaction of any kind

with any certainty.

Promises made under oath matter.

It is not enough to say,
"I don't like the law."

Mr Dana has proven himself to be
a liar and a criminal.

Mr Greene.

Oh! Oh.

Thank you, Your Honour.

Uh...

If I wasn't dozing off,
I think I may have heard

Ms Makepeace suggest that marriage
is an institution

that underpins our society.

But she's wrong.

One in two marriages
now end in grief.

Here.

Five women's magazines
picked at random.

"Brad - the affair I had to have."

"Halle - I want him back."

Marriage is now a sport.
It's not an institution.

May I?

The truth is George Dana,
ladies and gentlemen,

is a man from a bygone era.

He's a man who still
holds steadfastly

to the idea of honour and commitment

to those he loves.

He didn't set out to break up
the institution of marriage

or to hurt these women.

He stills believes in it.

He may be its last true champion.

His sole purpose was to make
these women happy.

And it still is.

Jail terms for rapists,
murderers, paedophiles,

but not for George Dana,

a man who simply loved too much.

We find the defendant...

..guilty.

I agree with the prosecution
when they argue

that Mr Dana was aware of the law

and knowingly deceived
three decent women.

Finally some spine.

..also find merit
in Mr Greene's argument

that the penalties under the law

greatly outweigh the impact
of the crime.

I believe Mr Dana
did love his wives,

that he did knowingly break the law.

Worse, he lied to this court

by not declaring a third wife.

And thus he proves himself again
a person of unreliable character.

I'm giving Mr Dana
a three-year sentence.

Yes!

But I'm going to suspend all but
three months of that sentence...

Weak, weak man.

And he must immediately divorce
at least two of his wives.

Try not to marry anyone
while you're inside, will you?

My God, you were so pretty.

You look like your mum.

You can tell she was Spanish, though.

You have changed a bit
around the cheeks and the chin.

It was taken near Cozumel
in Mexico.

Mum and Dad were a bit merry.

We'd all been laughing and swimming

and collecting seashells together.

Well, they're here now
and welcome in our home.

Even after a hundred hours...

..you name it, there is almost no surface
the G-Force drill bit can't penetrate.

Forget wasting hours sharpening
dull and rusty drill bits

when one set of pristine
G-Force bits...

Hey.

You're still up.

Do you know they got this drill bit
that never needs sharpening?

Even after a hundred hours
into metal?

Listen, I don't know what you did
or said, but thank you.

Oh, I just had a friendly chat.

And I think, um...
I think Norton felt really bad.

David is a good, good
warm-hearted man who loves me.

All this and a tax lawyer!

And I know I can be happy with him.

But I don't know why,
when things turned to shit,

I came to you and not him.

..once-in-a-lifetime opportunity...

Think I'm gonna buy this drill.

..three sets of G-Force drill bits...

Goodnight.