Original subtitles

Hey, new lab partner.

Should we get to our chemistry class?

Do we have to? We went yesterday.

I need a break.

You got one coming this weekend.

You know what they say.

Ain't no party like an eternal slumber party.

Which, to be clear, is just a slumber party.

Perfect. We're not doing anything at all.

We're just gonna drink shakes and not even chew.

I like the way you weekend.

[chuckles]

Uh, Vee?

Oh, no, bat ears!

I'm a total Franken-fritz.

I owe you one, Mr. Fleischer.

Uh, does this happen to all vampires?

I don't know. But lately, my powers have been fritzing like crazy.

Think you ought to call your parents?

It's not a big deal.

I probably haven't been using my powers enough.

I just need a good vampire workout this weekend.

Sorry, Soph.

Can we raincheck our lazy slumber party?

I vow to be lazy enough for the both of us.

[sniffles] You're a good friend.

Two hundred and ninety-nine and three hundred.

Feel the bat burn, baby!

Vee, there you are. Are you out of your batty mind?

You're out after curfew.

I'm exercising my powers.

Plus, I miss living it up in the dead of night.

The only thing better is getting to do it with other vampires.

Instead, I've just got one measly ghost.

Hey, it's not my fault I'm measly.

I was born before modern medicine.

[Merriweather] Do I hear voices?

Somebody's getting detention.

We gotta get out of here.

[grunts] Not working.

What's going on out here?

[screaming] The bat! The bat!

No, you stay away from me.

You stay away from the from the hair.

[stutters] And the children, I guess.

[exclaims]

[screams]

[groans]

That floor tastes horrible.

[singing] ♪ Slay!

S-L-A-Y ♪

♪ Stepping out

into the light ♪

♪ I have never felt so alive ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ S-L-A-Y ♪

♪ Watch me

shine, shine, shine ♪

♪ Slay! ♪

Sophie, do I have something in my fangs?

Yeah, a big old gap.

[gasps] Oh, my goblins.

I must have lost a fang when I fell.

Makes you look kind of tough,

like you just got in a street fight.

Luckily, I can self-heal.

See? Fixed. But that's not the problem.

[knocking at door]

Morning. Everything okay?

I'm just asking because it never is.

Call the tooth fairy. Vee lost a fang.

-What? -Don't worry.

It's gotta be in the hallway. I'll find it.

-Now please. -I will, Demi.

Why are we talking like this?

Well, and this is really no big deal.

If someone gets scratched by my fang,

they could turn into a vampire.

Who's ready for breakfast?

What? Someone could get turned into a vampire?

We gotta find that dang fang.

I like talking like that.

[singing] ♪ Slay! ♪

So that's why I made these for you guys.

If Taylor Swift fans can trade friendship bracelets at her concerts,

I can trade friendship necklaces at my...

[♪ blows pitch pipe]

♪ Sold out hallway tour ♪

You get a necklace, and you get a necklace, and you get a necklace.

Oops.

Mr. Janitor, clean up on aisle three.

Well, someone's not getting a necklace.

[♪ suspenseful music playing]

Okay, here's the baking soda and vinegar.

Do you want to start mixing?

About that, I actually don't mix chemicals since the incident.

And before you ask, I don't wanna talk about it.

Um, sure. No problem. I mean, we can just use--

It was a dark and stormy night.

I had just turned eight

and I got a chemistry set, the gift of my dreams.

But it became a nightmare.

I mixed the wrong two chemicals and...

[explosion]

You blew up your whole house?

No, just our guest toilet.

But that's what it felt like.

I lost a good eyebrow that day,

and it grew back thick and angry.

Okay. Uh, what about this?

You figure out the formulas, I handle the chemical mixing.

And this is my favorite. It has a shark tooth on it.

[gasps]

Vee, isn't that shark tooth your fang?

[Vee] Bats! I looked everywhere this morning.

I found it in, uh...

Bora Bora.

Bora Bora, my casket.

I need to get that fang back or someone could get--

Vampirized!

I'm scared, but I kind of want to see it.

Can you mind control it to get it back?

No. My powers are still fritzing.

I'm gonna need to go with Plan B.

Thanks, bestie. I'll take it.

Hold it. Friendship necklaces are for friends.

Great. Then I think it's time we bond.

Tell me the best and worst thing that's ever happened to you.

I can tell you the worst.

It's happening right now.

Fine, but that shark tooth is mine from my...

uh, rare animal tooth collection.

Hey, give that back!

No, it's mine!

Stop! Thief!

Someone make a citizen's arrest!

-[grunts] -Yes! Victory!

Oh.

-Hi. -Hi.

Hi.

Fighting over friendship necklaces?

You teenagers have no sense of irony.

Cancel your weekend plans.

We don't have any.

That's a weird flex, Sophie. But I mean Vee and Britney.

You two are spending Saturday in detention.

What?

Make this go away and my parents will pay for a fountain in the quad

shaped like your face.

You know how many face fountains I've turned down?

You got detention.

[both growling]

[groans] I can't believe I have to spend my Saturday afternoon at school.

It's boarding school.

You spend every Saturday here.

You don't know my life.

I'm freezing.

Mr. Witherspoon, can I get a blanket?

[snores]

You want my jacket?

Not my style.

But fine, if if you insist.

Gosh, I was wide awake all night.

Mr. Witherspoon has the right idea.

[snoring continues]

Don't worry about him.

He is out.

How's detention?

Worth it, now that I got my fang back.

I know. And I'm here to gloat to Britney

that I'm leading a cappella while she's stuck in here.

[vocalizing]

♪ I'm in charge now ♪

You can gloat when she's awake.

Wait. Where'd she go?

Maybe she woke up.

[♪ suspenseful music playing]

Whoa, she's up, all right.

Aw, this is not good.

I warned you, Vee.

Clearly, Britney got scratched by your fang,

and now she's turning into a vampire.

We don't know that for sure.

Let's review the evidence.

There's a bandage on her finger

and she's on the ceiling.

Fine. What are we gonna do?

Hold on. I read about an antidote in Elijah's vampire book,

but it's a complicated formula.

We need a mad scientist and a secret lab.

Well, you got Sophie and Elijah and the chemistry classroom.

I'll take it.

Uh-oh.

I just remembered something important.

She's got to take the antidote before sunrise or else...

Or else what?

Britney stays a vampire. Forever.

You go. I'll get her down before she wakes up.

[screams]

Good luck with that.

Why am I up here?

Don't worry. We'll figure out a way to get you down. Maybe a few--

[screams, thuds]

[snores]

That works too.

I just fell from the ceiling, landed on my face,

and I've never felt so powerful.

Weird.

Well, what happens in detention stays in detention.

Want a snack?

My cut is healed and I can fly.

Wait.

I've seen this movie.

Britney, I can explain everything.

I'm a superhero!

I always knew I was better than everyone.

I just didn't know why.

Huh? Those are new.

Maybe I'm...

Tiger Girl?

[hisses]

Emergency!

[panting]

Britney was scratched by Vee's fang

and now she's becoming a vampire.

-What? -Britney got vampede-oed

and I missed it?

[both coughing]

Wait. Is that my vampire book?

Oh, right.

Hey, Elijah, can I borrow your vampire book? Thanks.

Uh...

Now, we need to make this antidote by sunrise,

or Britney will stay a vampire forever.

Okay, lab partner, we've got work to do.

Is there a way for me to help

without revisiting my childhood trauma?

There was an incident.

It was a dark and stormy night.

Toilet went boom, brow went bye-bye.

Now you're all caught up.

Look, we'll do it the same way we have been.

If you read the instructions, I'll handle the mixing.

Okay, I'll help.

But if I lose another eyebrow, I'm taking one of yours.

Noted.

Okay.

I've seen some of this stuff in my sister's apartment.

Witch's wart, centaur scruff,

oh, fresh cemetery clover.

Demi, can you get that one?

On it like moss on a grave.

Now someone just has to extract phlegm of frog.

[both] Not it!

This is not cute.

What freaky fang filter is this?

It's not a filter and that shark's tooth is not from Bora Bora.

It's from the exotic island of my mouth.

First of all, ew.

Second, why are we talking about you during my crisis?

Well, you've always wanted to know what my secret was.

So, Britney...

...I'm a vampire.

I knew it!

I mean, I didn't know that.

But I knew something.

Yes, and since my fang scratched you,

you're becoming a vampire too.

You're a monster.

And now I'm a monster too?

I am not a monster!

And I promise an antidote is coming soon.

You'll have your normal life back.

Nothing about this is normal.

This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

No, this is!

Don't look at me, I'm hideous!

Whoa! Whoa!

Britney, come back!

-[thudding] -[Britney] Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Britney, wait. I still haven't taught you how to steer.

[sighs]

Oh, I see things have escalated since I left.

[Merriweather] Bat!

And there they go again.

[panting] Ah!

I got you, bat.

Here. You stay right in here.

Oh, I'm gonna go get the janitor to take care of you.

[panting]

You're welcome, children.

It's locked.

I'm going to find the key.

[Britney] Wait, don't go.

Please.

I'm scared.

I'm on it.

I'll drop off this clover to Elijah and Sophie and find the key.

[Britney] Vee? Are you still here?

Yes.

Don't worry.

I'm not leaving you.

I found everything we need for the antidote.

The bad news is that one of the ingredients is Vanquinium.

Cool, cool, cool. And?

And then I realized that Vanquinium is the technical term

for "No-No Nuggets."

That's what my mom called them when I was a kid.

Are they gonna blow up? Yes or no?

Vanquinium is a seed pod that when opened,

is very harmful to all supernatural beings.

And Van Helsings.

No time to chat. Here's the cemetery clover.

Doris, the lady whose headstone I took it from, says good luck.

Oh, and also, avenge her.

Well, let's table that for a second. Uh...

Sophie, I'm sorry, but you have to do the mixing.

But when I mix, things go boom!

You can do it. I believe in you.

Okay. Let's, uh, let's give it a try.

[groans]

-[gasps] -[pod hissing]

Is the room spinning? Oh, okay.

Oh, no, another incident. Protect your brows.

[Elijah groans]

No-No Nuggets are no-no joke.

[Britney] I'm scared, Vee.

I don't want to be a bat anymore.

Don't worry. I'll help you transform back, okay?

Breathe.

Think human thoughts like...

the sun on your skin.

Or the smell of your mother baking wormless cookies.

[Britney] We have a personal chef, but Gordon is like family.

[whooshes]

Whoa, I have legs again.

[♪ pleasant music playing]

-Are you okay? -That was terrifying.

Dean Merriweather was so afraid of me.

Me, I'm an ordinary person.

Well, I've never had a cavity.

My face is perfectly symmetrical,

but you know what I mean.

I know.

It's not easy when people are scared of you for no reason.

Unfortunately, no spare key.

[both] Bats!

How are we going to explain to the dean

that I'm in the closet and the bat isn't?

Britney's not a bat anymore?

No. She calmed down and turned back.

And used her hands to try to open the door from the inside?

Oops.

Cut her some slack.

She flew into a wall, like, five times.

Thanks, Vee.

Let me guess, Demi.

You're a vampire, too?

No, I'm a ghost.

[chuckles]

Very funny.

So when is that antidote gonna be ready?

At least another couple of hours.

Okay.

Don't take this the wrong way,

but how do you live like this?

It's not all bad. Most of the time, it's amazing.

I'll show you.

Let's be vampires.

Oh, wait. This is important.

Britney,

I've taken over a capella.

-[hisses] -Or not. Or not.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

When you're a vampire, you can go anywhere you want, whenever you want.

Dusty Tush, Wyoming?

Paris it is!

Okay, Sophie, everything is prepped and ready for you to mix.

Wait a minute. The clover is supposed to be minced.

This is julienned.

Sophie, quit stalling.

I know we have to help Vee and Britney, but I'm nervous.

Why? You're not the same little girl

who blew up a toilet on her birthday.

You know what I mean. [clears throat]

I just have all these voices in my head

saying I'm gonna mess up and I can't drown them out.

You can be nervous and confident at the same time.

Like when you're DJing on stage

in front of the whole school.

That's it, DJing.

I'll drown out the voices with music.

Hey. Go, Sophie.

We'll know if it's right if the antidote turns purple.

Don't worry, I got you, from the hallway.

[exhales]

[ ♪ "Happy Birthday Remix" playing]

♪ Not like

it's your birthday ♪

♪ Happy, happy birthday ♪

♪ Not like

it's your birthday ♪

♪ Happy, happy birthday ♪

♪ Not like it's your birthday

Happy, happy birthday ♪

♪ Not like it's your birthday

Happy, happy birthday ♪

-[song ends] -[♪ intense music playing]

I got this.

Just like dropping the beat.

[hissing]

I did it.

Yes. Dr. DJ PJ, PhD.

Uh-oh. Left over No-No Nugget.

[groans] Down I go again.

He's still asleep?

-Is he... -Nope.

Still alive.

A ghost can always tell.

Here. We brought you croissants.

With cricket spread.

I thought I'd hate it. But I like the crunch.

I know, right?

It's nice to have someone to share it with.

Do you get lonely here?

I mean, without any other vampires?

Sometimes.

It can be hard to be the only one.

I'm sorry I called you a monster.

It's okay.

I'm sorry I turned you into a vampire.

It's actually been pretty cool.

Time-sensitive antidote coming through.

Wait, are you two bonding?

Oh, we're bonded.

Yeah. I'll remember this day for the rest of my life.

Except you won't.

-Pardon? -What?

According to the book,

after Britney takes the antidote,

she'll forget everything from her time as a vampire.

So we won't always have Paris.

Today was unforgettable.

I'll remember.

You forgot how to open a door earlier.

But I'll remember.

Thank you for giving me a day with another vampire.

It felt really good.

Hurry. The sun's already rising.

You need to drink this now.

I guess I am ready to be myself again.

Good. I didn't almost lose another eyebrow for nothing.

Bottoms up.

[♪ pleasant music playing]

Ew. Why are we hugging?

Wait, why are we still in detention?

And why does my mouth taste like frogs and crickets?

Ugh!

Morning breath?

Because you kind of fell asleep.

Oh.

And the berets?

That I cannot explain.

Well, they're oddly working for us.

I'll allow it.

She'll allow it.

She may not remember,

but that was the nicest Human-Britney's ever been to you.

I can't believe she almost joined our boo-crew.

And I scienced! Support DJs in STEM.

Greetings, Mom and Dad.

Sorry to call in the middle of the day.

I thought you'd be asleep at this hour.

Well, I think I need to go see Dr. Lugosi.

[mocking laugh]

No, Dad, it's not because I'm always "coffin."

Something's going on with me.

So the sooner I see someone, the better.

Okay. Love you, too.

Bye.

[sighs]

[sighs deeply]

[singing] ♪ Slay! ♪