All language subtitles for The.Diplomat.2023.S01E01.WEB-DL.CATCHPLAY.en

-(upbeat music playing)
-(indistinct chatter)

(Castells) So you worked
at the El Faro restaurant

with Jay Sutherland?

(Amy)
Yeah, but we were booked to cater

at the party
on the yacht that night.

-(Castells) And how was Jay?
-Jay was Jay.

He was always positive and like,
buzzing off what to do next.

(Castells) What was the nature
of your relationship?

(Amy) Just mates.

Okay, so the Dutch guy wants
a Gibson.

(Jay) We haven't got
any pickled onions,

he'll have to make do
with an olive.

Well, it's your call, Tom Cruise.

(both giggle)

-(Castells) Was he drunk?
-A bit by the end.

(Castells) Drugs?

Yeah, we'd done a couple of lines
but just to get through the shift.

(indistinct chatter)

What you doing after this?

Might go to
Contra-ola with Grainne.

Come if you want?

But like, when he had
an idea in his head,

it was hard to change his mind.

We should borrow
one of the jet-skis,

-I know a brilliant beach.
-Okay.

(Castells) And that was
the first mention of the jet-ski?

Yeah. Yeah.

(Castells) What did you say?

I just laughed

'cause I, I didn't think
he was being serious, y'know.

(Castells) So, then what?

-(knocking on door)
-(upbeat music playing)

Jay, I've told you I'm not going
on a bloody jet-ski.

It's dark and you're pissed.

(Castells)
And you did not see him again?

I couldn't have stopped it.

-There was nothing I could do!
-(Castells) Of course not.

I couldn't have stopped it.
(sobs)

I'm sorry.

(Amy sobs)

(camera shutter clicking)

(camera shutter clicking)

(theme music)

(phone rings)

Hey!

Great, bring the car round
the front, I'll meet you there.

Carl, I'm heading
to the airport now with Alba.

This might take a while so...
can you rearrange my appointments.

-Apologies, etcetera?
-(Carl) Got it.

And did you pull up
those crime stats

-for our meeting with the Mayor?
-Just finishing it now.

(Laura) Great, we just have
to blitz her with data.

Oh, and the, the new Consul General
may arrive from Madrid.

So again, send my apologies

for not being here
to meet him in person.

Just show him his office, maybe...

-Make him a coffee?
-Yeah.

Go, go. Traffic in town's terrible.

Inspector Castells.

(Laura)
Yeah, I'm on my way there now.

Have you had
the full toxicology results?

Two lost passports,
one trip to A&E.

I'll go three lost passports,
two arrests for criminal damage

and a couple of broken friendships.

Hmm. Well luckily,
repairing broken friendships

-is not part of our remit.
-(phone rings)

Oh, that's Inspector Castells.

Oh, I'm going to marry him one day
and have his kids.

-Does he know that?
-I think he senses it,

-yeah.
-Okay.

Because you can't fence in a wild
young spirit like mine too early

and he knows that as well.
What's he saying anyway?

First toxicology reports show
cocaine in Jay's blood stream.

Hang on, I think this is our guy...

(Laura)
Mr Sutherland? I'm Laura Simmonds.

I'm the British Consul
for Catalonia,

Aragon and Andorra.

Thank you for coming.

(Laura) It's the least we could do
in these sad circumstances.

May I convey
our sincere condolences.

Um, this is my Deputy, Alba Ortiz.

I'm so sorry for your loss,
Mr Sutherland.

So, I've arranged a meeting
with Inspector Castells.

He's our English-speaking liaison
with the police,

he'll tell you everything you need
to know about the investigation.

And the body?

We can take you
to the City Morgue straight after.

Could you call the driver,
ask him to come round front?

It's just this way.

(in Catalan)

(in English)
Hello. My name's Sam Henderson.

(receptionist) One moment, please.

-Hola.
-(Sam) Yes, I'm here

for the Valencia Trade Fair

but also backfilling
Alan Mulgarry's post.

Right, well,

the Consul's just meeting
the father of a British national

involved in a drowning accident.

Yeah, I read about that, very sad.

Got wasted
and took out a jet-ski, right?

Probably seemed like
a good idea at the time.

Right, this is your office. Um...

Haven't had the name changed yet.
Can I get you a coffee?

-Yeah, that'd be great thanks...
-Carl.

(Sam) Carl.

Oh, this morning's briefing's
been moved to the afternoon,

-Um, Laura should be back for that.
-Fantastic.

(Alba in Catalan)

(in English)
I'm just telling the driver

he might have to take
the scenic route

when we get to the centre
'cause there's protests in town.

-You from around here then love?
-No, my dad is Catalan.

-My mum's from Andalucia.
-Alba counts as a local appointment

which is helpful
'cause it means I can just

fire her at the drop of a hat.

They have to get her a therapy dog
if I take a day off.

Anyway, yeah, we moved
to London when I was five,

spoke a bit of everything
in our house,

although my dad takes the piss out
of my Catalan.

(chuckles softly)

-Why'd you move back?
-Brexit.

Okay, nothing to do
with Brexit really,

I just needed a change of scenery.

(phone rings)

Ash? I'm on my way
to talk to the police now.

Yeah, I'll bell you after.
How's mum?

All right.

Jay's brother.

Professional footballer.
Well. Stevenage.

Still though, he must be good.

Jay was the real talent.
Even had trials for Chelsea,

then he got a knee injury
and... Um, well.

Mr Sutherland, the police
have asked me to advise you

that the identification process
might be distressing.

So, if you'd rather use
possessions and photographs.

I want to see my boy.

(pensive music)

(line ringing)

-It's me.
-Hello, you.

(Sam on phone) So, I'm here.

Settling into my new role
as Consul General.

(Mariona) What do they do exactly?

Oh, you know,
annoy the actual Consul

who does the real work.

-Judge Crema Catalana contests.
-(Mariona laughs)

Can you meet me now?

-Right now?
-(Sam) Perfect time

for a quick debrief.

Okay. But I have to be in court
at three with a client.

(Sam)
I have a meeting here at four.

Meet me in the Born,
we can find a cheap hotel.

Quick and cheap,
what do you take me for?

Well, the British government's
picking up the tab, remember.

Can't promise a mini bar

but I can probably stretch
to cotton sheets.

(in Catalan) Very romantic.

(tense music)

So, these are Jay's possessions
that were recovered from the body.

(exhales slowly)

Where's his watch?

His diving watch.

We bought it for him for his 18th.

-He always had it on him.
-Perhaps it is at his apartment?

He always wore his watch.

-Perhaps it fell off in the sea.
-Or somebody nicked it.

I hope you're not suggesting...

I'd be really grateful
if you could just

double-check with the officers

who were called
to receive the body.

I will double-check.

I want to see
the toxicology reports.

(Castells) Of course.

I can tell you that they show

Jay was three times
over the drink limit

and also had cocaine in his system.

Jay never touched hard drugs.

Well, he obviously did.

-You calling me a liar?
-(Castells) Not at all.

But I'm afraid a lot of parents
think that about their children.

I don't think, I know.

-Where's the yacht?
-It is now in the Balearics.

Can I see the jet-ski?

Yes. You will need to wait
while I just make sure

that forensics are finished
with their work.

Why don't we take you
to the hospital and then

Inspector Castells can update us
on the outstanding issues?

I think that is a good plan.

Has the Consul
spoken to you about...

Yeah she's spoken to me

and these are definitely
his possessions but...

I still need to see him,
y'know, say goodbye.

However messed up he looks.

I am truly sorry, Mr Sutherland.

Thank you, Inspector.

(door closes)

(knocking on door)

(slowly) So...

(upbeat music)

(distressing music)

(exhales slowly)

(breathing shakily)

(gulps)

(breathing shakily)

(sad music)

(breathes deeply)

(whispers)
My boy.

-(breathes heavily)
-Okay.

(cries)
My little boy.

(wails mournfully)

(Sam) So, how long is Fabian
out of town for?

(Mariona)
I'm picking him up tomorrow.

Annoying that the police are now
looking into this yacht death.

-It might make him jittery.
-Everything's fine.

There's a witness who's told
the police what happened.

-The father arrived this morning.
-(Mariona) Course. Poor guy.

But the police checked
everything out and...

they're happy with the story.

We need to make sure
it stays that way,

there's no room for it right now.

So, what's happening
with the wedding?

The invitations haven't even
gone out yet.

He's taking his time.

You could come and take a look
at the venue tonight?

He won't be back.
When he's away, he's away.

-No fooling about though, okay?
-(Mariona) Mm-hm.

Strictly a business meeting.

Not even a little footsie
under the table?

-This is really serious, Mariona.
-Oh, you think I don't know that?

You want the police
to haul your body

out of the harbour as well?

I look after myself.

Come or don't come,
it's all the same to me.

I'll be there.

Just don't get reckless.

Ho, Carlitos,
we're back, look busy.

-Oh! New guy's arrived.
-Oh?

-(Alba) And?
-What does backfilling mean?

It's just jargon.
It means replacing.

He's a trade specialist
here for the Valencia thingy

but he's gonna do
the Consul General job

-while Mulgarry's...
-Cancelled.

Well, Mulgarry wasn't cancelled.

Barcelona to Port Moresby?
That's cancelled, mate.

-(door opens)
-(Sam) Could you print out the...

(Carl) Well, at least it looks like
you might have a beer with him.

(office assistant)
Oh yes, of course.

-Uh, hi, I'm Laura Simmonds.
-Hi.

Um, you've already met Carl,
but this is my deputy, Alba Ortiz.

Speaks Catalan,
knows the city inside out.

Great. Um, well look, I'm delighted
to be part of the team

and I'm looking forward to getting
to know you all moving forward.

Great well, why don't we go through
to the meeting room

and we can give you an overview

on our current crop of
Distressed British Nationals.

Fantastic.

(Laura) So, in terms of DBNs
there's the usual lost passports,

and sexual assault
as you would expect.

Also, muggings
of British tourists have escalated

sadly, involving knives.

Yeah, there was another one
this morning.

Kid's in hospital.

He was diabetic,
they even took his insulin.

I'm gonna go see him
this afternoon.

Okay. But our biggest current case
is Jay Sutherland.

Yes. I know about that.
The father's here, I understand?

Yeah, he met with the police

and identified the body
this morning.

Good. The next step, let's get him
on a flight back to Stanstead.

(lip smacks)

-He's questioning a few things.
-Like what?

The toxicology report,
a missing watch.

A missing watch?

Yeah, it's a special watch
they gave him for his birthday.

I've asked him
to check Jay's apartment.

Okay. The owner of the yacht is
Fabian Hartmann, right?

Yeah, he owns a lot of property
in Barcelona and Valencia,

including El Faro at the marina.

That's right, that's right,

I came across his name
via the trade fair, German?

Yes, but with Spanish citizenship,

I think,
but I don't really know him.

Well, not our problem at least.
(clicks tongue)

So, I'm very pleased
to be on board.

And I'd like to invite us all out
to dinner to celebrate my arrival.

-(Sam) Tomorrow night?
-Yay.

-Well, thanks, everyone.
-Okay.

(keyboard clacking)

We're gonna give these out
to incoming flights at the airport.

(Laura) Yeah, these are good.

Oh, I just spoke to Carl
at the hospital.

That kid who got mugged is
a proper mess.

Oh my god,
somebody is gonna get killed soon.

(Alba) Hmm, I dunno why
it's suddenly surged like this

but crime's gonna be
a gift to the fascists

-come the regional elections.
-(Laura) Mm-hm.

Have you ever been
to that gaff in the Marina

where Jay Sutherland worked?

What, El Faro?
Hmm... Not really my thing.

I went once,
full of coked up Russians.

-(Alba) Not so many now I imagine.
-(phone rings)

(Laura) Inspector Castells.?

Yeah, okay, that would be
really helpful, actually.

Um, I'll ask Alba

to call Colin Sutherland
and let him know.

Yeah, an hour's fine. Okay, thanks.

-(Laura sucks teeth)
-An hour would be fine.

(Laura chuckles)

He's hot though, you have to admit.

-He's a very handsome man.
-Just split up with his wife, too.

And you're thinking of offering him
a nice shoulder to cry on?

Wasn't the body part
I had in mind, actually.

(giggling)

How are you doing
in that department?

What d'you mean how am I doing?
You know how I'm doing.

Well, it must get frustrating
with Tom in Warsaw?

Well, that postings coming
to an end soon.

-Do you have internet sex?
-Okay, quick reminder.

Boss. Employee. Line.

Shall I call Colin Sutherland then?

(softly)
Yeah, why don't you do that.

(in normal voice)
And um, get those out

-as soon as possible.
-You got it, boss.

(Laura and Alba chuckle)

So was the kill cord key
still attached to his wrist?

Yes, it was.

-He falls off and the engine cuts.
-(Castells) That's right.

In the water and the dark,
he's confused.

Plus, the other factors
I mentioned.

These supposed drugs?

One of Jay's colleagues has given
evidence about that, Mr Sutherland.

Also that he had tried to get her
to go with him.

Where is she now?
I'd like to speak with her.

She still works at El Faro

but you must not interfere
with witnesses.

-Got time for a coffee?
-Sure.

(in Catalan)

(tense music)

(Colin)
I don't believe any of this.

I promise you,

Inspector Castells is
an honest and diligent officer

who I trust completely.

Maybe.

-Where's his watch?
-It could've just fallen off?

Watches like that
don't just fall off

no matter how hard
you hit the water.

I wanna talk to this girl,
the one who gave the statement.

-You heard what he said about that.
-My son is dead.

You can help me or not.

I'll help you in any way
that I can.

But I'm a diplomat.
I'm not a detective.

I will talk to this girl.
It's my right.

-Oh look, here I can get these.
-I lost my son, not my wallet.

I can afford to get us
a couple of drinks.

Okay.

I don't wanna take up
too much of your time.

-Actually it's...
-Go. I'll be fine.

(light, wistful music)

(indistinct chatter)

(Gemma)
Hey! How's your Tinder profiling?

Cheer up, love,
it might never happen!

Seriously, you okay, butt?

(Hen) Gem? What are you doing?

Why you always do this? Like...

(Gemma) Some of them yachts
are tidy, aren't they?

I'll have me a yacht one day
when I've won the lottery.

(Colin) My son just died.

Oh, no.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Drowned. They're saying
it's all his fault.

He was a bar manager,
place near here.

I'm just waiting for it to open.

-What you gonna do?
-Get some answers.

(Gemma) Fair play.
Never believe the official version.

(Kelly) Come on, Gemma, hurry up!

Wanna bit of Cava, buddy?

-Where you girls from?
-Merthyr.

(girlfriends calling)

Merthyr Tydfil?

-Wales?
-Yeah.

Never been there.

You never been to Wales?

-Anglesey, yeah but...
-(scoffs)

-Is it nice?
-(chuckles)

Never lived anywhere else.

That's our mate Bethany
over there getting married.

(Gemma) The one making a racket
who's already shitfaced.

You're gonna have
to narrow it down a bit.

(laughing)

There's not much I can say,
is there?

Not really, no.

Go on, go and join your mates,
I'll be all right.

All right, in case you get thirsty.

Plenty more where that came from

-and it's all going in my gob.
-(chuckles softly)

I'm truly sorry about your boy.

(light, wistful music continues)

(women laughing, chattering)

(suspenseful music)

(hostess in Spanish)
Good afternoon.

-(in English) Sam Henderson?
-(in English) Yes, Sam Henderson.

(in Catalan)

-(in English) You're sure?
-Yeah, relax.

Anyway, I'm well-connected.

Having dinner with the new man
at the Consulate

will be a plus for Fabian.

-How's Warsaw?
-(Tom on laptop) Weather's shit.

Government's feral.
People are great.

(Laura chuckles)
Yeah. Often the way.

-(Tom) How's sunny Spain?
-Hmm, new Consul General arrived.

Hopefully he'll avoid the um...
mistakes of his predecessor.

Yeah, don't try
and fight the culture war

after three large gin and tonics.

No, Sam's um, he's younger
and cannier than Mulgarry.

He says things like,
backfilling and going forward.

Ah, one of those.

And I've got a dad over.
His son drowned.

Thinks there's
something suspicious about it all.

Yeah, they always think that.

True.

Alba asked if we have internet sex.

Did she?

-Do you want to have internet sex?
-What will that involve?

-Apart from a modem.
-(giggles)

I don't know. You... ask me

-what I'm wearing.
-I can see that.

(Laura) Yeah, but then you order me
to take it off, etcetera, etcetera.

Nah, drink your beer,
etcetera, etcetera.

(both chuckle)

I'd like to see you in person.

-I miss you.
-Me, too.

Won't be long now.
I'm working on it.

-The watch is a bit odd though.
-(Tom) What?

Nothing.

(indistinct chatter)

(uneasy music)

(in Spanish) Good afternoon.

(in English) Do you speak English?

(in English) Of course.
Do you have a reservation?

I'm Jay Sutherland's father.

Take a seat at the bar,
Mr Sutherland,

I'll bring somebody to talk to you.

(background conversation)

(Sam in Spanish)
Thank you.

(inhales deeply)

(in English)
So, this is Gambas al Alfredo, eh?

What's the special ingredient
Alfredo adds

to make it 20 Euros a prawn?

Sea salt
and a little bit of Catalan magic.

Gambas al Instagram.

-You're such a cynic.
-(Sam) No.

I am definitely not cynical.

This is cynicism.

(Mariona) This is a restaurant.

That makes a lot of money.
And employs a lot of people.

-And rinses a lot of foreign cash.
-Didn't you say to be careful?

The sooner you get away
from all this, the better.

-Oh, do I mean so much to you then?
-You know it's more than...

Excuse me.
(whispers)

Back in a moment.

(Mariona) Merci, Cris.

Hello, Mr Sutherland.
My name is Mariona Cabell.

-Hi, you the manager here?
-(Mariona) No.

I am the legal representative
to the owner, Mr Fabian Hartmann.

Great. Get him out here.

Oh, he's not present at the moment.

-Where is he?
-Unfortunately,

he's out of town on business.

Could I please offer

-our sincere condolences?
-When's he back?

I'm sorry,
he's in Valencia right now.

-When is he back?
-Maybe not for a few days.

But... in the meantime,

perhaps I can answer
any questions you might have?

Yeah, I wanna talk to the girl
who was on the boat,

the one who said
that Jay was trying to get her

to go out on a jet-ski.

She's not working tonight
but I'll check the roster for you.

-To see when she's next in.
-I can't understand it.

Jay was working that night.
He took his job very seriously.

Everybody's just business as usual.

Y'know, yacht's sailed off
to another party in...

Formentera. It's a small island

-just off Ibiz...
-I don't bloody care where it is.

(Colin) What about my son's watch?
D'you know where it is?

-No, I'm sorry, I don't.
-I need to find his watch.

(Colin) Does he have
a locker here or something?

I'm not sure.
I don't know where the staff...

Maybe he left it here
before he got on the yacht.

Maybe it's here somewhere.

I will certainly make enquiries
about the watch.

-Do it now then!
-(Mariona) Look, I...

I do understand how upset you are,

-but...
-(Colin sighs)

Listen, why don't I find you
a table so you can eat something...

I don't want a plate of calamaries.
I wanna talk to somebody

who can tell me exactly

what happened to my son
on that night.

-Just wait a minute, um...
-What? Do you want something?

(Mariona) Mr Sutherland,
please listen to me.

(shouts)
Don't f...

-(bouncer) Excuse me.
-...fucking patronise me!

-No, I'm sick of being patronised!
-(Mariona) Okay.

-Calm...
-The next fucking person who...

(shouting, grunting)

(tense music)

Fuck! Get the fuck off me!

Get off.

(Colin grunts)

(light music)

Yeah, no, I understand that,

but this is the fourth stabbing
in as many days

and I just don't think
that a couple leaflets are...

Yep, okay, I'll see you later.

It's um, another knife attack
on a British tourist.

And there's a French kid
in the ICU.

So, Colin Sutherland.

They're not pressing charges.

I was there actually
in the restaurant.

-You went to El Faro?
-Yeah. A friend invited me.

I wouldn't recommend it.
But he was out of control.

-Well he, he's just lost his son.
-We need to get him home.

Yeah, we're working on it.

And it would be great
if you could get him

to lower the volume on the...

more to this
than meets the eye, front.

I expect that will blow over,
it normally does.

Okay, great, just,
you know, if we can be proactive.

Proactive.

Well, I'm gonna go and...

get him out of the police station
in a bit, so...

Okay, let's get the paperwork
for repatriation expedited.

Yes, but also,
I don't want it to appear

as if we're simply brushing
legitimate questions away.

I'm sure you know
what you're doing, Laura.

I was just offering some support.

Thank you. Now if you'll excuse me,

I need to get a little proactive
on these stabbings.

(in Catalan)

# Daydream #

# I fell asleep
Amid the flowers #

(Kelly in English)
Give us a snog, eh.

# On a beautiful day #

# Daydream #

# I dreamed of you
Amid the flowers #

-I love you, missus.
-I love you, too.

(inhales deeply)

S'pose we better get some breakfast
and find the rest of em.

-Yeah, what you gonna have?
-Ous Estrellats.

-What's that?
-Hey! English girls?

-Watch your mouth, buddy.
-You're sitting on my bench.

You have to pay to sit on my bench.

You hear that, Kels?
He's saying we have to pay

to sit on his bench.

Oh, I'm sorry,
I, I don't see a name on it.

I like your man-bag though,
is it genuine Matalan?

Give me your money
or I cut your faces.

All right, all right.

No need to get nasty,
I'll get you a...

-Ah!
-(boy groans)

-(girls grunting)
-(boy groaning in pain)

We're from the Gurnos,
you chopsy little twat,

you don't be fucking with us.

-Oh, here y'are. Hey, Kels.
-(both laugh)

Oh, nice little pick-me-up
for the way home then, Gem.

Hold him down, Kels,
he's wriggling like an eel.

-(girls laugh)
-(boy chokes)

Hey, hey.

-(gurgling)
-(boy groans)

Now everyone can see
you're a dickhead!

-(thumps)
-(boy groaning)

What you gonna have, eh?

-(Gemma) Ous Estrellats.
-(Kelly) What is that?

Fried eggs and that Spanish ham
with a few of them little spuds.

(boy groans)

Please, do not return to El Faro,
Mr Sutherland.

Don't worry, I'm sure he won't.

One second please, Laura.

I have come across
something rather disturbing.

The master key to the jet-ski
is missing.

I don't really understand jet-skis.

So, the kill cord is attached
to the wrist,

but the master key is
in a compartment by the seat.

It is often left in.

Others remove it at night
and lock it away to prevent theft.

But the jet-ski won't go
anywhere without it.

And it wasn't in the ignition?

(Castells)
No. And nobody removed it.

I have checked with anybody

who came into contact
with the jet-ski.

-But that doesn't make sense how...
-(Castells) Exactly.

I have ordered the yacht
to return from Formentera

and a second autopsy

which will delay the repatriation
of the body, I am afraid.

Okay, I'll,
I'll explain to Mr Sutherland.

Could you do me a favour
and leave the key for now?

At least until...
We are still investigating it.

(Laura) I understand.

I do have to tell him about
the autopsy and the yacht though.

Tell him that
we are neither lazy nor corrupt,

contrary to your stereotypes.

Not mine. And I did tell him.
(chuckles)

No, no, no wait.

There is another case
I'd like to talk to you about.

Wait, so one of these knife gangs
attacked the hen-party?

-Yeah.
-Are they okay?

Well, they are fine,

it's the mugger
who is seriously injured.

Of course, we all opened
the Cava when we heard,

but unfortunately, my boss
does not see the funny side.

And to be fair, it was
a very dangerous thing to do.

Do we know who they are?

Oh yeah, they wore T-shirts

telling us exactly
where they're from

and left quite
a trail of destruction

through the Old Town.

-Of course we can't condone it...
-(both laugh)

Okay, look, I have a long,
postponed meeting with the Mayor

and your boss later to discuss
the crime issue

so, let me see
if I can prevail upon them.

That would be helpful.
The Mayor holds you in high regard.

My boss prefers you to me
for reasons

I cannot possibly understand,

and nobody wants this
to go any further.

Okay, I'll do my best.

(airport announcer speaking)

(Fabian in Spanish)

(in Spanish)

(Alba in English) What?

A bunch of hens
caught some scummer?

(Laura) It was 50-50 whether
they were going back to Wales

or spending some time
in the slammer.

-But I twisted the Mayor's arm.
-(all laugh)

So did Colin Sutherland
find his son's watch in the end?

Not to the best of my knowledge.

Any other developments?

No. No, I think
the police are just, you know.

Mm-hm.

Listen. Um...

I'm sorry if I seemed a little...
(inhales deeply)

...unsympathetic earlier.

It's fine.

Just please don't ever say the word
"proactive" to me ever again.

I grew up on a housing scheme
in a town called Ayr.

It's not exactly
the language of diplomacy.

(Alba)
Right. Well, now we've covered

all the important shit,

shall we hit the Raval
for some dancing and chupitos?

-I'm game.
-Ah, not for me, I'm afraid.

My auto-switch kicks in
at about 11 o'clock.

What about
that time on my birthday?

That was a one-off.
And it took me a week to recover.

-From the hangover or the shame?
-Both.

Anyway, I've got an 8am meeting
in the morning, so...

Oh. Luckily, I don't.
I'll just get the bill.

-He's all right, really.
-Yeah, he's okay.

You can stop,
your face going all flat white now.

-What?
-It's what you do

when you don't take to someone.
I know immediately.

We've only just met.
I'm sure we will be...

fine.

-(Laura) I'll see you tomorrow.
-See ya.

(Alba) Bye.

-That was brilliant.
-(both giggle)

I can't wait to tell 'em
all down the Dragon.

-English girls, pay for your seat.
-That was the tipping point.

-Top fucking city break.
-Mm-hm.

-Got your passport?
-Yep.

Ah, Kels, man...

Fool me twice, I dare you.

Oh, come on, it's time to go.

(airport announcer speaking)

-(in Catalan) Good evening.
-(hostess) Good evening.

(in Catalan) Perfect.

(indistinct chatter over radio)

(tense music)

(sniffles)

(Amy in English) Okay,
so the Dutch guy wants a Gibson.

(Jay) We haven't got
any pickled onions.

He'll have to make do
with an olive.

-Well, it's your call, Tom Cruise.
-(both chuckle)

-Is this your girlfriend?
-Just a friend.

Then you don't mind if she shows me

the cabins on the yacht?

I guess the question is,
does Amy mind?

-I'm, I'm working, sorry.
-Hey! Come back here!

Come back here, you little slut!

-Don't call her that.
-What?

There's plenty of girls
in Las Ramblas

if that's what you're after, mate.
Or boys.

(ominous stinger)

(sobbing)

(tense music continues)

(closing theme music)